Defining the Alpha Male

I knew a guy who was alpha by most people’s definitions — an Army soldier and lawyer by trade, built like granite, he was a fearsome warrior with a taste for fighting who could knock a man out with a punch that landed like a piledriver.  He walked with purpose everywhere and immediately cowed men into deferring to him when in social situations.  He had a taste for cruising his apartment butt naked, company or no company present. He was, according to my traumatized metrosexual roommate, hung like a Clydesdale.  Despite his strong manly presence he misspent his alpha capital picking up a parade of bar skanks and fatties in nightclubs — I never saw him with any girl better than a 5 — and pining for a lost ex-girlfriend (and by pining I mean seeking out the new boyfriend of his ex to deliver a flurry of violent blows.)

I had another friend, a good-looking successful businessman with a sharp wit and effortless charisma, who was always the center of attention in that very alpha way of not trying hard to be the center of attention.  The girls in our social group we used to hang out with all told me how much they wanted to date him.  And yet, in the couple years I knew this guy I don’t think he slept with more than three girls and never had a girlfriend.  Some flaw in his character hobbled him from reaching his full potential.  He eventually married a hot blonde, but for many years in his prime he completely squandered his alpha capital in the only way that really matters.

I mention these guys because they illustrate the confusion that arises when people attempt to categorize alpha and beta males.  These two guys weren’t perfectly alpha on paper — one had a beat up face and a half-empty wallet, the other was emotionally vacant — but they had enough of the important alpha qualities that they could have done a lot better with women than they did.  And yet, to an outside observer who didn’t know about their troubles with women, they would be considered archetypical alpha males.

Many want to believe that getting girls is ancillary to being a true alpha male; that the real measure of an alpha lies in his ability to dominate other men, or his command of his environment, or his thirst for swashbuckling adventure.  While these are admirable alpha traits, they are nothing but a means to an end.  Make no mistake, at the most fundamental level the CRUX of a man’s worth is measured by his desirability to women, whether he chooses to play the game or not.  Pussy is the holy grail.  That is why the obese, socially maladroit nerdboy who manages to unlock the gate to the secret garden and bang a 10 regularly is an alpha male.  And that is also why the rich, charming entrepreneur who because of an emotional deficiency or mental sickness lives mired in parched celibacy is not an alpha male.

Due to this enduring confusion about what makes an alpha, I submit the following system, in the form of a handy chart, to help clear the air.  It hits on the three major factors influencing male rank — how hot are the women he can attract, how strong is that attraction for him, and how many of those women find him attractive.

Keep in mind that there is no line in the sand that separates betas from alphas — the distribution of men by their attractiveness to women follows an uneven continuum where at the extremes a small percentage of alphas monopolize an immense number of quality women and a much larger blob of omegas struggle to rut with warpigs.

Male Rank        Hotness(F)    Strength of Attraction     # of Women
Dregs (lost souls)     N/A          Actively repulsed                Grinding celibacy
Lesser Omega          0,1          Will never feel love;              Dry spells >5 years
can’t keep a girl longer
than 3 days
Greater Omega       1,2,3       She loves houseplant more;  Dry spells 1-5 years
gets dumped for cat
Lesser Beta              3,4          She’s somewhere else          Gets lucky twice;
during sex                               marries hog
Beta                        4,5,6       Romance died after               6 month dry spells;
second date;                  marries dumpy hausfrau
relationships last forever
because no other choice
Greater Beta         6,7          Can do it with lights on;      5-15 lifetime partners
once got a BJ in an alley;
girlfriend cries after he
proposes
Lesser Alpha         7,8         Consecutive long term         15-100 lifetime partners;
relationships >1 year;              2 affairs
enjoys occasional fling;
girlfriend faints after
he proposes
Alpha                     8,9         Concurrent multiple           100-500 lifetime partners;
long term relationships;              10-20 affairs;
love at first sight;                         2 threesomes
videotapes homemade porn;
girlfriend scared to
pressure him into marriage
Super Alpha         9,10       Multiple long and short                     Limitless
term relationships, flings,
and one night stands; orgies;
crazed stalker love; women
willing to do anal at hello;
maintains de facto harem;
never cheated on, never dumped;
hires contraceptive assistant to
make sure his condoms don’t
have holes punched in them





Comments


  1. on September 19, 2007 at 9:45 am Cynically yours

    This alpha/beta thing is getting a bit obsessive, but since I might just edge in as a Lesser Alpha I feel flattered enough to comment … Wouldn’t it be easier to just sum the hotness of women banged, then judge alphadom by hotness thresholds?

    Of course, evolutionarily speaking, superiority is expressed by getting lots of (genetic) grandchildren. So the proper scale of judgement is actually found there.

    Like


  2. Technically I’m probably a lesser alpha. I’ve had two nines, but they were eastern european so they probably don’t count as they underestimate their own attractivness, I don’t think I could get an American or UK nine, although maybe when I’m older and higher status.

    Like


  3. Pretty good chart. I’ve never considered the simple Alpha/Beta split to be accurate, it makes much more sense the way you have multiple categories.

    One question: where would you classify the sort of man who could have just about any woman he wants, but who marries young and stays loyal to his wife? His relative lack of sexual experience would push him into Beta or lower territory, but he would be an Alpha or Super Alpha if he so chose.

    Like


  4. 2 threesomes makes you an alpha? I’ve had more than just 2 threesomes and I’m nowhere near an alpha…

    Okay, I’m going to have to stop pretending that this stuff has any relevance to gays.

    Like


  5. Dear God I’ve got so much work to do

    Like


  6. Am I a Lesser Omega or a Dreg? I did manage to lose my virginity, but she was a 6-7 thirty something nymphomaniac from Canada who smokes pot.

    I love being a Dreg!!!!!

    Like


  7. BTW, the Dregs, Omegas, and Betas would probably better served by a world with separate functions for women. Sexual women available for sex at low prices, and emotional women for platonic relationships. In turn, said emotional women can have sex whenever they want with the alphas while I have sex with a prostitute who caters to my sexual needs.

    Like


  8. And what’s an “affair”?

    Like


  9. “He had me at hello… No, really, he did. Twice– and once in the ass!”

    Like


  10. Well its official. I am an alpha. Threesomes…check! Affairs…check! Notch count…check! Valtrex…check…wait, what?!

    Like


  11. You should also consider the lone wolf, which is what I consider myself to be. The lone wolf will never be as successful as the pack, i.e the alpha, his wingman, their propensity for gab, and their easy knowledge of the social dynamics of the bar scene, but he still scores and scores frequently. He considers sarcasm, and social slights to be distaff. He neither needs nor seeks the acceptance or respect of the group. On one hand he presents as a beta because of his social awarkwardness. He eschews the group dynamic and instills hostility as opposed to respect from alphas. On the other hand he presents as an alpha because of his cold blooded approach to bedding women. He is all penile as opposed to all tongue. He is the type a woman will take home simply by virtue of a slow dance. It is the bulge of his crotch in baggy jeans as opposed to the brand of jeans that get him noticed. He is neither handsome nor verbose nor socially adept, but women instinctively recognize the sexual charge and men immediately feel threatened. His sense of confidence lies not so much in his number of notches but in how many orgasms he can make his attractive female partner have. His concern is intra-notch if you will. His trysts tend to be with the queen bee, the disillusioned wife and girlfriend, the innocent caught up in the moment, the perennial cockblockers for the 10. These are women who are either too smart or too inexperienced to be talked into an orgasm. They have either heard it all before or are too fresh to be significantly swayed by the peer pressure of their friends or the smooth talk of the alpha. For the lone wolf tens are infrequent but he feasts on the 7’s, 8’s, and 9’s. In fact, he finds the 10 often lacks the “spice” of the 8. Dennis Rodman was a lone wolf. Maddona was a queen bee.
    Check out the book TUNG, The Ultimate Nut Guarantee.
    A preview can be found at http://www.lulu.com/content/1115598
    This book describes lone wolfness taken to the extreme.
    Anonymous X

    Like


  12. It’s fascinating to see this from a male perspective. As a woman who sees the difference immediatly between an alpha and a beta, I have a slightly different explanation.

    When I’m with my friends, and we are introduced to a new male, we all individually assess his status. Because we have varied tastes and interests, it is very rare that one man manages to blow all of us away. We are all varied in attractiveness, intellect, cultural background, and income. The alphiest alpha is the guy who can meet and exceed all of our expectations.

    Obviously, there have been very few men who have done thsi, but here are several examples:

    1) Mr. L: Mr. L is 6’4, very broad, athletic, and rugged looking. He had managed to hook up with at least 4 girls in my immediate circle of friends. Because he had such a great character, none of us had any hard feelings about him not wanting to actually date any of us. We just accepted it, because he was good looking and nice. Mr. L has a very large penis, though I do not know from experience. Mr. L is decently intelligent, and is so confident and kindhearted that even my most intellectually-inclined friends did not mind. Sophomore year of college he fell in love with one of my (very beautiful, kind, and intelligent) good friends, and they have recently gotten married. Overall his alphaness is a sum of the following: natural confidence (not cockiness), him clearly being the most dominant man in the room, good looks, large size, great personality, no hang ups about ever being a beta because he was never one, and amazing heart.

    2) Mr. M: Mr. M is also tall, quite handsome in a pretty boy way, and also very kind. He has been my ex boyfriend’s best friend since high school. One night three of my girl friend’s met him at bar, and individually decided that he was above and beyond the alphiest of the guys they’d seen all night. He engages you in a conversation, he pays attention to your every word, and he took great care to make sure we all got home safe. He is a natural- he does not do anything just to get girls, because the girls flock to him regardless of what he does. Again, his alphaness can be summed up: good looks, height, attention to detail, the fact that he is a very good friend, and amazing heart.

    3) Mr. D: I have known Mr. D since I was like 15 because he took violin lessons with my little sister. He is tall, dark, and handsome. His parents make him work for his tuition, violin lessons, dorm, etc. Because he wanted to fit in with American boys, he adopted the typical cool/macho attitude of fratty mcdouches. A lot of women find this attitude quite sexy, I do not. However, once a girl sits down and talk to him and discovers how humble and hard-working he is, she is bound to fall for him. His girlfriends are always 9s and 10s. Alphaness: looks, confidence, humility, and an amazing heart. Again, I give him an A- in alpha for the cockiness, but that’s just a personal pet peeve.

    Notice what both of these guys have in common- they are kind men, because they never have to act like jerks to get women. I have many other examples if you want me to share, but I think you get the point: most women can totally smell if your confidence is substantial or if it’s a front. To be the alphiest alpha, it has to be genuine and have had to have been that way for his whole life. I’m sure the converted betas do quite well, but not as well.

    Like


  13. on September 19, 2007 at 6:01 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    Warning!

    Irina’s assessment of who is alpha and who is not, leaves out a crucial element that most women conveniently forget to mention: the looks and status of herself and her friends.

    Before anyone takes what a woman says seriously about men, consider where they’re coming from on the looks scale. As any guy knows, it’s very very easy to be confident around women you don’t find all that attractive — or who give themselves away as insecure. It’s easy to be “confident” with someone who isn’t a nine or ten, which is why (let’s admit it) old ladies often mistake the cavalier attitude of younger guys for “flirting.”

    Women don’t realize the above because they behave differently with guys they are not attracted to — they tense up, worrying whether they’ll get asked out. Guys generally let their guard down with non-attractive women.

    Like


  14. on September 19, 2007 at 6:22 pm David Alexander

    He used to be on in this area, but got canceled, for whatever reason.

    I used to listen to his shown, and I felt guilty because he was so mysogynistic and unforgiving towards women. The only thing I’ll give him credence is on the child support issue where men pay, but don’t see their children, or their wives waste the money. In retrospect, he comes across as a whiny douchebag who complains about his poor choices in women.

    BTW, Irina’s definition of an alpha coincides with what several female friends have described as an alpha or some type of ideal boyfriend. In mutual agreement, we’ve agreed that I’m not that man for them, but somehow they all stated one woman’s beta is another’s alpha. Which I think is a proxy for them saying that I should troll around for women who would view me as an alpha, which admittedly is a scary concept since those women at that level are screwed up and hideously ugly and unsexual.

    It makes it hard to determine an alpha because for one woman, an alpha is a BIGLAW associate, while for another, it’s a guy who has a stable income, doesn’t drink too much, and treats them well.

    Like


  15. As any guy knows, it’s very very easy to be confident around women you don’t find all that attractive — or who give themselves away as insecure.

    Since I don’t find most women to be attractive, and I know that have zero chance of scoring a date, it makes it much easier to talk to women because I know that it won’t lead to anywhere except for a possible friendship.

    Like


  16. Irina — I disagree with your analysis.

    You presented 3 alphas who were tall, good-looking, kind and confident and then you conclude that the one common factor among the alphas is kindness?!

    Kindness is THE defining trait for betas.

    If you take out kindness, then it’s only height, looks and confidence. But really, confidence is a product of height and looks for men just as confidence is a product of weight and looks for women. Confidence also stems from other “unmeritorious” factors — e.g., skin color, wealth/education, etc. If you’re white, everything else being equal, you’ll likely be perceived as more confident than if you’re not white (even blacks who come off as confident may sometimes be perceived as too confident or arrogant or standoffish).

    I don’t think is truly confident, separate from other characteristics like height, weight, looks, skin color, etc.

    So then really, it boils down to height and looks that determine a male’s alphaness. Women never seem to admit this.

    Like


  17. Women seem to discount physical features like height and looks when evaluating why they like a guy and place disproportionate emphasis on personality. Why?

    Like


  18. on September 19, 2007 at 3:16 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    Anyone looking to up their status (whatever it is) or seeking insight into some of the issues here should really listen to California talk show host Tom Leykis. He used to be on in this area, but got canceled, for whatever reason.

    Here’s a link to a page where you can stream or download his shows (if you have Norton Antivirus, you may need to turn it off to get this page):

    http://www.971freefm.com/pages/4096.php

    I think he should get himself a guest spot on this show.

    Like


  19. Warning!
    Day of Broken Arrows, when I said varied, I meant varied. And you’d think that all of us would have a pretty good picture of what Mr. L is like. We didn’t talk to him for 5 minutes at a bar, some of us have known him for 20 years. I listed these three for a reason- my friend and I have known each of them for at least ten years. Mr. M for example, according to my ex, was the most sought-after guy in their high school. Otherwise, you are right to say that men act differently around women they don’t find attractive. I’m sure you’ve experienced that phenomenon a lot.

    Like


  20. Little too analytical for my taste, but good points nonetheless.

    And yes VK, you do have a lot of work to do. If you’re a good boy, he will give you his leftovers.

    Like


  21. DF, don’t you start with the wait, what? crap too.

    Like


  22. With regards to the personality thing, I really do believe it is a bigger factor than looks for women. I’m not saying that looks don’t come into – of course they do, but confidence and personality can, and do, make up for it. (Really hideous guys don’t count)

    One example: I’m a bar with a few girls. Two guys (workmates of one of the girls) join us. The first guy is drop dead gorgeous. Seriously. Tall, broad shouldered, rugged. Every girl looks as he walks in. The second guy is much shorter, slighter and not nearly as attractive.

    Within about 15 minutes the second guy has all the girls around him, eating out of his hand. He is witty, intelligent, and oozes confidence. The sexy guy had the personality of a wet fish – plently of the girls tried to engage him in conversation, but got nowhere.

    Has I been single I would most definitely have been seeing the second guy again.

    Like


  23. The charts are your forte… a good cross between hilarious and yet at the same time, very relevant. Well done.

    Like


  24. If one were to take a survey of natural alphas – those that have attracted women from youth through adulthood – I would bet that their mean height is greater than the average male, which varies by region and ethnic group. However, height and looks do not provide a proper substitute for game, despite providing enormous leverage to it.

    The biggest loser/beta I know is a lanky 6’5″ hedge fund analyst from Russia and the biggest player I know is a 5’7″ pasty mid-westerner with a receding hairline. The latter is brilliant, charismatic, and utterly fearless. The former is an awkward, one-dimensional Jesus freak that rambles endlessly about the structure of payment systems.

    Like


  25. Hyper Alpha:

    72 virgins in Paradise.

    Like


  26. “Make no mistake, at the most fundamental level the CRUX of a man’s worth is measured by his desirability to women, whether he chooses to play the game or not.”

    You have to admit that this is a pretty self-serving definition of what makes a male an alpha coming from a self-described pickup artist. It would be like an athlete saying, “A man’s worth is measured by his athletic ability” or a salesman saying, “There is only one thing that matters in life: Get them to sign on the line which is dotted.”

    Dictating how you live your life according to women’s perceptions of you doesn’t sit quite right with me — and I suspect a lot of people who look at the pickup community with wariness. It just seems… “pathetic” is too strong a word, and “sad” implies a level of sympathy that I don’t feel and you no doubt don’t want. Perhaps “empty” is a good way to put it, though not in the hopeless-romantic, “Sex is meaningless without love” bullshit. More as just a human being — pussy is the holy grail? Really? There’s nothing greater that mankind can aspire to?

    I might just be an idealist (or perhaps a “Greater Beta” as your chart would have it), but I’d like to believe there’s more to life than our instincts to pass on our genes. No doubt many here would disagree, though. At any rate, thanks for addressing this topic.

    Like


  27. I think you’re oversimplifying. Have you ever met a guy who is really out of shape, fat, slovenly, drinks beer and eats pizza all the time, but whenever you play any sport or physical game he annihilates everyone, and everyone knows that if he put any effort into it, he could probably play professional sports? His squandering of that athletic talent doesn’t make him any less athletic than he is. Likewise, if you take a swashbuckling, baby-seal-clubbing, leader-of-men-alpha-male and give him mommy issues or a propensity for fat chicks, foot fetishes, or sodomy, he’s still an alpha male. an alpha male with some weird shit going on, but (socially speaking), an alpha male nonetheless.

    Again, as I briefly mentioned above, your formula doesn’t take into account, for example, guys who genuinely like fat chicks or girls we would otherwise find unattractive. Or homosexuals for that matter. Are there no gay alpha males? Can you a person be an alpha male among gays? How about an alpha male among males who like fat chicks?

    If so, then I think you’re kind’ve making a compartmentalized definition of “alpha male” based on this society’s (read: your) definition of attractiveness, which would differ from how a typical “alpha male” would be defined in, say, rural Utah. You ought to make a special tab defining it to better establish the rules of discourse here. Make it an established blog rule/standard and there’s no more quibbling about it. 😉

    ps: Nice use of maladroit. That’s one of my favorite words.

    Like


  28. If this categorization chart keeps up we’re going to end up with trend lines and box plots. Although ‘box plots’ here might be a little nontraditional.

    Irina, from your descriptions, your analysis includes:

    Mr L, who knows what your friends look like naked and is confident you have swapped pleasing descriptions of his genitals.

    Mr M, who has most likely heard descriptions of what you look like naked, and possibly in the interests of avoiding social incest made no attempt to seduce you or your friends.

    Mr D, the fratty violinist. Hmmm.

    First, you start each listing with a physical description. This may be writing style, or it may be that physical features (all are tall, dark and handsome) are making your call for you.

    Second, if you girls have known these guys for 10+ years, if they were still demonstarting the slightest bit of discomfort around you then something’s badly wrong. Any man can be the badass in front of women he’s known forever. Also, there is a strong indication that these men, for different reasons, see you and your friends more as sisters than prospects. As far as I can tell from the definitions bandied about here, the primary separator between alphas and betas is cold game, repeated.

    Gatsby, I can’t believe you would foist thirty years of leftovers on VK.

    Like


  29. Jewcano — would you rather give VK your leftovers?

    Like


  30. Irina – you and your friends immediately compare guys to see who is the “alphiest”? If there was classic beta behavior for women, that would be it.

    Like


  31. Jose Mourinho I considered the ultimate alpha male. Then I saw his wife.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=482986&in_page_id=1770

    Like


  32. He walked with purpose everywhere and immediately cowed men into deferring to him when in social situations.

    Interesting. I’ve noticed that I can dominate any room of men — literally to get them to work on my projects without pay — because I understand men and their motivations very well. I know what to say and how to say it on an instinctive level.

    With women it’s a much more learned thing. Not instinctive at all. Got much better when I read Markovik’s book — from lower beta to lesser alpha on your scale.

    Notice what both of these guys have in common- they are kind men, because they never have to act like jerks to get women.

    Those who have much can afford to be kind.

    then you conclude that the one common factor among the alphas is kindness?!

    Kindness, like generosity, is a marker for abundance. Betas are needy. Their kindness is sycophancy or borne of weakness. They are “nice” because they have no other option.

    PS:

    Because he wanted to fit in with American boys, he adopted the typical cool/macho attitude of fratty mcdouches. A lot of women find this attitude quite sexy, I do not. However, once a girl sits down and talk to him and discovers how humble and hard-working he is, she is bound to fall for him.

    $50 says Irina has a thing for him.

    Also:

    Frat-Guy Boyfriend Not Like The Other Frat Guys
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27651

    Like


  33. on September 24, 2007 at 3:58 pm Loki on the run

    Irina sez:


    Otherwise, you are right to say that men act differently around women they don’t find attractive. I’m sure you’ve experienced that phenomenon a lot.

    It’s amazing how quickly women resort to insults when they are losing an argument.

    Like


  34. I’m happy with this chart. Thought I was a beta but apparently I’m a lessera alpha! I suddenly like the SMV theory more than before.

    Like


  35. >>He was, according to my traumatized metrosexual roommate, hung like a Clydesdale.

    Just curious — circumcised, or not?

    Like


  36. If we’re going to take one quality to define an alpha, it is his level of social skill.

    Like


  37. Clearly, Winston Churchill, Teddy Roosevelt, Jesse James, and Jimmy Stewart were Omegas because they only slept with a few women each.

    Like


  38. steve – yes, those guys were alpha males because many women found them attractive. they had the potential to cash in on mounds of pussy if they so chose. the fact that they willingly abstained from reaping the bounty of their alphaness does not affect their male ranking. that is why i wrote that a man’s worth is measured by how many women would want to sleep with him, not how many he has actually slept with. since most alpha males DO collect their rewards, the point is somewhat moot, and my chart stands as a reliable guide.

    now if celibate males who were attractive to many women were celibate because of some deep-seated emotional sickness making them incapable of connecting with women even when they wanted to, that would invalidate their alphaness.

    Like


  39. Don’t you love it how alpha males are so humble?! *cough* Neways all Alpha Male behaviour is acting a certain way. Any one can do it, its a skill …. its really not that special =) So all you guys need to get over yourself haha

    Hot Alpha Female =)

    http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com

    Like


  40. This is certainly entertaining, as long as we don’t mistake it for scientific. A hypothetical sperm-bank donor might net dozens of grandchildren, yet in active life couldn’t score at a whorehouse. Genetically an alpha, socially a dreg. Another man is a total player, but has fertility problems. Genetically a dreg, socially an alpha. What are we measuring?

    Like


  41. CH, you seem smart enough to realize that it makes no sense to objectively define worth. Worth is a relative thing, depending on the preferences of the person doing the evaluating. If some guy doesn’t care about being successful with women and devotes his life to higher mathematics because it is more satisfying to him, in no sense is he objectively worth less. Judgments of worth require an evaluator and your standard of worth is based on the evaluations of normal women. There is no reason why we should use their evaluations to determine our own worth.

    Like


  42. looks like i am a lesser alpha!

    Like


  43. mmmm. great post. very self-affirming 🙂 Thanks.

    Like


  44. i think prefer any of the alpha varieties.. but the others can be fun- when they have enough alcohol poured on them.

    Like


  45. I really enjoyed this after my Saturday night date, LOL. The guy literally stripped in the front seat of his car, expecting that being well-endowed would make me do the same. I think he truly believed himself to be a ladies man, or an alpha, but the boy just has no idea.

    Like


  46. Golly, I rank as a lesser alpha, and here I thought I was a beta. 25 partners, a couple of threesomes, five relationships that lasted more than a year (max was five). Some of those women were beautiful — and many others could turn some heads.

    And back in the day, I was well on my way to alpha-dom according to this list, because I had multiple affairs going at the same time (three at several points).

    I found out that if I made the effort, I could shoot down a lot of women (strangely enough, though, sluts and tough girls used to reject me. But the nice girls — they’d give it up.) Finally, I got bored with the drama, looked inward at what I wanted, and determined that it wasn’t 300 before 30. I wanted a mature woman capable of a life-long relationship. I converted to Christianity. Decided on personal chastity.

    Oh my, you wouldn’t believe the reaction. I’m not kidding — as soon as I decided for chastity, five women took the initiative to try to sleep with me within the next six months. (I took three of ’em up on it.) It’s like they couldn’t stand not having sexual leverage …

    Anyway, somewhere along the line I really lost my game and drifted all the way to somewhere between omega and dreg … but then I got it back. I psyched myself out for a few years and remembered what to do. A lot of “game” is not letting yourself get pushed around, surprising and delighting women, and simply paying attention. Little things, details.

    I’ve always thought of myself not so much as alpha — well, let me put it this way: There probably isn’t a man on this earth who let as much pussy get away as I have. Saying stupid things, letting them off the hook, not showing up for trysts.

    Because you know what? It ain’t what I wanted, deep down. There were a lot of women who literally fell into my lap because I’m tall and handsome. None of that means a damned thing to me. What matters is actually making a relationship work.

    BTW, if any alpha or super-alpha uses game to bang my current girlfriend, he better be an alpha at fighting, too, because I’m gonna beat him to a bloody pulp otherwise.

    Like


  47. We really are 99% chimpanzee aren’t we, eh?

    Like


  48. A man’s alphaness is considerably within his control. As long as his outward appearance is no lower than a 4, he can practice game enough to become a decent alpha.

    At the same time, there are guys who are 9s in looks but still Betas. I knew such a guy in grad school. A 9 in looks and set to go to a great job on Wall Street. Very polite too. But no awareness of game, so he was a greater Beta at best, where he could have been a Super Alpha.

    There are many men who are both good looking and in high-paying, impressive careers, that are still Beta when it comes to women. It is because they are clueless about game, or worse, that they comprehend the mechanics of game but are inept at executing it/practicing it.

    Liked by 1 person


  49. on July 8, 2009 at 6:24 am Babaero Serrada

    you overestimate the difficulty of getting threesomes

    Like


  50. I agree with your definition of alpha, but I just want to say that famous guys are by this definition much more alpha, no matter how “beta” they may act, than actual alpha guys, simply because more hot women know about them and can thus become groupies.

    Like


  51. I am leaning towards being a Greater Beta so far. Not too shabby but I’ll need to try harder.

    Like


  52. Well, its like this I am a Alpha of sorts but NO multiple affairs.
    my wife is just worn(too much sex) out but we love each other dearly .
    So whats for me to do ,just look and don’t touch!we both agree on that!Actually if by magic we could have 27 year old bodies,we would both slow down the time cycle on having what comes natural. yeah! do it all over again but this TIME do IT much Better and longer LOL.
    So all you guys and gals out there ON the Internet and the freaking World > make love all the time ,as much as you all can for ever and ever amen!

    P.S. “you all” can always go back to fighting and killing each other on this planet earth!

    Like


  53. According to the dating market value test for men I’m a solid mid-range beta, but according to this Alpha-ness scale, I manage to achieve lesser Alpha status.

    LOL!! I must be punching above my weight!

    Like


  54. on April 14, 2010 at 2:41 pm Martian Bachelor

    Many want to believe that getting girls is ancillary to being a true alpha male; that the real measure of an alpha lies in his ability to dominate other men, or his command of his environment, or his thirst for swashbuckling adventure. While these are admirable alpha traits, they are nothing but a means to an end. Make no mistake, at the most fundamental level the CRUX of a man’s worth is measured by his desirability to women, whether he chooses to play the game or not. Pussy is the holy grail.

    And thus yet another new religion focused on women and what they want and how men can give it to them is born…

    IOW, total BS. It’s a tautology, which goes like this:
    1) women want alpha males.
    2) what’s an alpha male?
    3) it’s what women want.

    I mean, how much more beta/omega can you get than basing your worth on what women do or do not do?

    That’s what women do, with the sexes reversed of course. They base their personal self-worth on men and their relationships with them.

    A “holy grail” is any esteemed object long sought for or attained only after great endeavor, which kinda contradicts the ideas of 1) not pedestalizing women; and 2) pick-up artistry makes getting them easier.

    Methinks you’ve bought into the feminine program too thoroughly.

    Like


  55. Martin–

    Actually you make some great points.

    Where the evo psych / PUA alpha male concept comes from is mammalian zoologists. They consider the dominant alpha male to be the one who get all or most of the females in his band. For a time at least, while he remains the alpha. In these societies there’s usually just one alpha.

    It’s also been more recently realized however that in some primate species in particular but not just them there’s a “sneaky fucker” male strategy that can work too. Females are receptive to this too or some of them are, on the down low. Both she and the sneaky fucker risk harm by the alpha if caught.

    Anyway so the easiest way of identifying the most dominant or alpha male is by looking at which male lays the most females in a period of time.

    He gets that privilege though mostly by fighting off other males in dominance matches that rarely go to death but are ended when it appears clear that one male could kill the other.

    In other species the females do more choosing by ale characteristics and it’s less about male dominance fights or matches. E.g. peacocks.

    Anyway yeah the PUA obsession on laying huge numbers of girls all the time is a bit perverse after awhile if you ask me.

    Particularly when you realize that the evolutionary reason why some men but only a small percentage of men are far better at attracting casual non commitment and non provider role sex, so that they have more babies in a self reinforcing feedback loop, and because there’s also utility in having clear natural leaders w/charisma and dominance in the group, is short circuited for the most part by birth control. Esp. with feminist level child support=stealth alimony from the at all economically successful alpha male’s point of view.

    Like


  56. on April 14, 2010 at 3:19 pm Dilbert Hole

    Martian, perhaps your critique needs to stand up to a simple one-word insertion:

    1) women want alpha males
    2) what’s an alpha male?
    3) it’s what OTHER women want

    You have yourself more than hinted at the herd mentality of women. This is not a circular definition, it’s a RECURSIVE definition.

    I’m no consumer of PUA bromides, by the way. But the metaphor of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps (or, I’m afraid, in the PUA’s case, your tampon strings) is not a difficult one to grasp.

    Like


  57. I hate the Game.

    A woman’s value is her looks
    A man’s value is how conceited he is.

    I’m out of it.

    Like


  58. There is nothing more beta, than trying to be alpha.

    [Editor: Super beta Arnold shoulda quit when he won his first mr olympia.]

    Like


  59. Your writing reminds me a lot like Stendhal; you should start writing novels.

    Like


  60. Was your father an alpha male:

    Like


  61. It’s so funny, so much concern about who is getting laid and who isn’t, when no one is actually passing on his genes. Sex is a game now, which is why sexual attractiveness is also just a superficial thing. Everybody is fucking everybody yet the actual reproduction rate is below the replacement rate. This is why “alpha” has no meaning now except as a bragging right.

    The most beta thing you can do as a man is judge your self-worth by the attention women give you. True “alpha” has nothing to do with getting your dick wet, no matter how much evolutionary bullshit and ape psychology you want to justify it with. It’s amusing that one of the principles of “game” is that women are attracted to men with their own purpose and direction, and that the disciples of game make it their purpose to attract women.

    Like


  62. I had to comment after reading some postings on this site.

    One suggestion I picked up from somewhere is that alpha males are competitive. So to be a better alpha is to participate in male competitive “sports”

    Where I worked at I was an outcast. One day I picked up a deck of 52 playing cards (the only thing I was good at) and challenged anybody to play poker.

    In school I was an outcast. But while at school I was determined to bet into Columbia University (which I never did). Somehow I noticed in all my classes in school people
    started to try to outdo me.

    Competitveness can be anything really.

    Like