Freedom

It has been three years since I last played a video game for any length of time. Yes, I include Solitaire in this. I have never played or even seen World of Warcraft.

I built my home computer from the ground up to prove to myself I could do it, but when it is time to upgrade I will save myself the geeky effort and purchase a retail unit.

I have averaged about 2.5 hours of TV watching per week in the past two years, and I went the entire month of August not having watched any TV at all. I watched five minutes of NASCAR out of curiosity. I didn’t get it.

Into the mindless entertainment void I have substituted more hours playing my guitar, reading books, writing (not just the blog. I’m also working on a screenplay. Coming soon to theaters worldwide.), listening to new music, and scoring.

While my retreat from TV has cost me some valuable pop culture knowledge I could have potentially cashed in for connection points with girls I try to seduce, my deeper foray into the indie music scene has put my finger on the pulse of a powerful cultural current that has given me much more to talk about with the type of girls I like than TV ever has.

Discovering new music is more difficult when you are older. As a teenager and college student I was surrounded by people my age tapped into the latest musical fads and concert schedules. New music came to me. Now, I go to the music. I have to put in serious effort to find music I like that is also popular with my target demographic (21-32 year old women), and this means many hours logged onto pitchfork.com and scouring the showtimes at Black Cat and 9:30 club.

There seem to be two orders of magnitude more bands today than there were even ten years ago. A new band pops up daily. Most of them are flashes in the pan with one listenable song that the music critics cream their jeans for using mellifluous nonsense words like “reluctantly noirish” and “emotionally punchy, angular industro-funk-trance”, which makes me wonder how these same critics would have described an up-and-coming Led Zeppelin or Nirvana. Most indie bands have ridiculously long and/or unintelligible names that would make more sense in Esperanto.

The era of the arena band with staying power is long over. The era of the niche “let’s blow our creative load on one album, get laid like gangbusters and make a small fortune off internet viral marketing, then exit the scene” band is in full swing. Making too much money and banging too much pussy off the fruits of your first single release is bad for creative longevity. Led Zeppelin didn’t begin raking it in until their third album.

My favorite song as of this writing is “Atlas” by Battles.

I watch 50% fewer movies in the theater now than I did five years ago. I have missed some good movies, but much crap has also not polluted my sensitive brain.

On balance, I believe I have improved my personal entertainment profile.





Comments


  1. I didn’t realize indie music was so fascinating to woman of that age bracket. Do tell… (seriously)

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  2. try pandora and hype machine. good ways to get cool new music.

    oh, and I love picking up indie chicks at black cat. so cute.

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  3. TV is poison. I don’t watch TV or movies often either. Those things numb one’s brain and make a person seem duller. A sharp brain results in a sharp wit results in creating attraction in women. One of the most alpha guys at work has women flirting overtly with him all day. He plays the guitar, reads, and doesn’t even have cable TV at home.

    As far as indie music goes, it’s easy. Pandora.com has a nice way of picking the songs that are like other songs, so once you find out someone likes a particular artist, plug it into Pandora and you get a ton more like it. A lot of young girls listen to trance nowadays, by the way. That’s probably the connection to club culture, which I don’t know at all — but it’s still nice music. I dig it.

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  4. Roissy: “Discovering new music is more difficult when you are older.”

    As much as I hate to be disagreeable; more accurately there’s SO much new music that to find the gems takes more sleuthing. Of course, with the www, you can spend hours upon hours sleuthing out good/great music. Am a huge fan of music and have discovered many gems in those long hours.

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  5. Newer bands that I love: The Shins, Interpol, Death Cab for Cutie, and Iron and Wine.

    The big name arena acts are gone for good, whether for better or worse. Back in the late 70’s and through the 80’s, the big arena concerts were the biggest events in a teenager/young adult’s life. Those are some of my fondest memories.

    There used to be Monsters of Rock and the Knebworth Festival (England) through the 80’s and Lollapalooza in the early 90’s that filled stadiums, but today it’s the Pitchfork fest.

    It’s just different today.

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  6. Music coming out of the psy/goa trance scene far beats out any indie rock. But how can I fake interest and be decently knowledgeable for the ladies?

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  7. Rock music is pretty much ass any more. And that’s coming from a 23 year old. There is no greater percentage of quality in the indie music scene than on TV. Not watching TV isn’t a badge of pride, it’s just a choice one makes.

    And girls don’t care for wit, its confidence. When you’re too witty, you confuse the hell out of 90% of everyone out there. To hope to meet a girl that meets your standards in that 10% is a fool’s errand. If girls had really wanted wit, I would have been getting blowjobs during class in college. Instead, I just had to settle for them afterwards.

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  8. DC is interesting, because it’s especially advantageous to know about indie music there as opposed to most other major cities. There aren’t that many local indie bands in DC, because there aren’t many transplant artists or musicians. When you combine that with a population that’s driven by the pursuit of high-status jobs, the grand majority of people could give two shits about some obscure band.

    It’s all the more beneficial, therefore, to know about indie music in DC, because one will definitely stand out. It’s even better if you’re not a passive wallflower like most DC hipster guys. Many a successful night could be spent at Wonderland (Haven’t been in two years since I moved out of DC, so I don’t whether it’s been taken over by yuppies or not).

    If you’re in a city like Philly or New York, however, everyone seems to know about every band, and there’s a huge local music scene. As a guy, you’re basically expected to be in a band to have a chance with most cute indie girls.

    Unfortunately, as a fellow guitar player who appenticed under a jazz musician, I find that a lot of indie bands don’t really bring it live. Most of them sound like they are rehearsing the songs by rote from the record. I’m not asking an indie group to get all crappy jam-band on me, but bring something different to a performance other then replaying the records. Two exceptions to this: TV on the Radio and Calexico.

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  9. When you’re too witty, you confuse the hell out of 90% of everyone out there. To hope to meet a girl that meets your standards in that 10% is a fool’s errand.

    1 out of 10 odds is pretty high, all things considered. You can get critical hits 3 times in a row with a 10% crit chance. 9 out of 10 people reading that previous statement won’t get it. But perhaps one person will know and might grin. Men and women both need to stop looking for the “one” and look for the one for them. I’d think to do otherwise would be foolish.

    how can I fake interest and be decently knowledgeable for the ladies?

    This is the other thing that bothers me a bit about the “scene.” It might stem from my isolation from other women and their mindsets, so forgive me if the question is outlandish. Why don’t girls take the time to get interested in the subjects in which men are knowledgeable? She might then “get” more of the things that the intelligent men talk about, which would feedback loop into his rapport-building that she is able to pick up on his witticisms.

    Is this a case of too much of a good thing, because men are ultimately put off by women who are tuned into men’s interests? Would most men rather go after the young, hot women who don’t care about Richard Dawkins or economic theories? Must it always be the one-way street where the girl sits and looks pretty, waiting for the man to come in and dazzle her off her feet? I’m missing something here, because the lack of mental connections between two people seems like it would make sex very boring indeed.

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  10. 1 out of 10 odds is pretty high, all things considered. You can get critical hits 3 times in a row with a 10% crit chance. 9 out of 10 people reading that previous statement won’t get it. But perhaps one person will know and might grin. Men and women both need to stop looking for the “one” and look for the one for them. I’d think to do otherwise would be foolish.
    Since I’ve already admitted to being a beta, I’ll admit I got that even though that game didn’t have criticals when I played it. 😉
    It’s a matching problem. There are 10 guys who think like that for every girl who does.

    This is the other thing that bothers me a bit about the “scene.” It might stem from my isolation from other women and their mindsets, so forgive me if the question is outlandish. Why don’t girls take the time to get interested in the subjects in which men are knowledgeable? She might then “get” more of the things that the intelligent men talk about, which would feedback loop into his rapport-building that she is able to pick up on his witticisms.
    I think the VAST majority women are more interested in confidence than brains, to be honest with you. You are probably the exception.
    It could just be that you’re wired to chase after ‘dad’s instead of ‘cad’s. That’s not necessarily bad for you–most nerds make solid long-term mates (no wife-beating, no cheating) if you don’t mind the lack of passion and spontaneity.
    I suspect, and you may accuse me of racism if you like, this may be one of those evo-bio things; you’ve said you’re of Asian descent, and it wouldn’t surprise me if Asians evolved to chase after ‘dad’s given their long history of settled agriculturalism in a large, organized empire, where ‘cad’ qualities were as likely to get you castrated or one of the other awful Five Chinese Punishments as they are to get you ‘play’. Remember how Roissy gives you points for having gotten in a fight or been arrested in his Dating Market Value? In America, with its chaotic business culture (derived from the descendants of Europeans who felt like taking enough risks to cross the sea–remember that the Europeans who stayed put have now developed a very different culture), ‘cad’ qualities are better (in moderation enough that you can stay out of jail!). If you’re born middle-class or higher; if you’re lower-class you’ll probably wind up in jail.

    Is this a case of too much of a good thing, because men are ultimately put off by women who are tuned into men’s interests? Would most men rather go after the young, hot women who don’t care about Richard Dawkins or economic theories? Must it always be the one-way street where the girl sits and looks pretty, waiting for the man to come in and dazzle her off her feet? I’m missing something here, because the lack of mental connections between two people seems like it would make sex very boring indeed.
    I think you may just be atypical. (That’s not bad per se, you seem to have gotten yourself a hubby you’re very fond of.) Remember that this is a blog for people who are into the seduction game and similar ‘cad’like behavior.

    Most men would rather go after young, hot women period. The stereotypes aren’t universally true, but they’re true enough that deviating from them vastly diminishes your options. Particularly in the case of minority interests like art and science which skew to one gender; in these cases it pays to be of the ‘wrong’ gender (artsy man or sciencey woman) because of the ratio.

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  11. Particularly in the case of minority interests like art and science which skew to one gender; in these cases it pays to be of the ‘wrong’ gender (artsy man or sciencey woman) because of the ratio.

    So long as they are genuine interests, at least in the case of men. Men have been pretending to be interested in artsy things as a way of meeting chix for many years if not decades. For their part, the chix certainly have little trouble in figuring out which men are faking it, and of course ignoring or rebuffing them.

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  12. “Most indie bands have ridiculously long and/or unintelligible names that would make more sense in Esperanto.”

    Their names makes don’t make any sense even in Esperanto

    I Recommend Last.fm

    They even have music in Esperanto:
    http://www.last.fm/label/Vinilkosmo

    😛

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  13. If I may be so bold as to make one suggestion…

    http://gorillavsbear.blogspot.com/

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  14. Hope,

    I wish you were right, and that talking about politics or evo-psych will wet a girls pants, but I’ve learned that it doesn’t. SFG also addressed your potential bias, though the high numbers of asian girls going out with white guys possibly indicates that things may change in the future.

    However, girls do like a guy who is into the art stuff. Why? Well, art functions as a fitness indicator better than more practical subjects.

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  15. BTW, that’s an average difference. I’m simply postulating that higher numbers of Asian than white women are wired to prefer dads over cads. Certainly there is no shortage of Asian women lusting after cads (ie the girls in Roissy’s photo). Just a theory.

    dad versus cad in the evo-bio sense of ideal spouse (loyal, kind, reliable) versus ideal sperm (masculine, impulsive, spontaneous).

    how does art function as a fitness indicator? Seems to me most of the arts pay poorly unless you are the 1 in 10,000,000 actors who becomes Brad Pitt, and have less conversational opportunities than sports, at least in power-track fields. Unless you mean it’s a class marker, which is certainly true…

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  16. “let’s blow our creative load”

    I did that once with a feminist art-student after multiple bong hits, She was not impressed with the landing spot.

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  17. Yes, discovering new music is very much more difficult as you get older. Part of the reason for that is the shattering of the pop music market in thousands of sliver-like fragments. When we listen to the car radio I prefer smooth jazz (although lately that format has jumped the shark too) and my wife prefers oldies, but the local oldies stations have a very limited playlist. And for all the bilge written about her, I don’t think I’ve heard a Britney Spears tune on the air in the last five years–and very few plays even before that.

    The reason the whole music business is changing is the dramatic reduction in cost of entry and distribution. The old model of stereo LP vinyl disk, CD, or (forgive me) 8-track or cassette with 10-12 tunes is obsolete in an era of iTunes, MP3s, and other downloads. This makes it possible for hundreds of new bands (most of whom, undoubtedly, suck) to record in studios requiring little investment to set up, put their product on-line, and market themselves. I am on e-mail lists for a number of such bands here in northern Nevada.

    Under the old system, the traffic cops were the record labels, the “hip” FM radio stations, and the retail outlets like the now defunct Tower Records. Today it’s every band for itself, and you know what? It’s better that way!

    Incidentally, I find the best, most obscure oldies can be heard over the PA at the local casinos and even the local supermarket. The other day I heard The Supremes’ “The Happening” (1967) and Friend and Lover’s “Reach Out of the Darkness” (a top ten hit in 1968), which I would NEVER hear on the radio, rolling my shopping cart down the beverage aisle.

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  18. 17 sestamibi: “The Happening”? That is cool. It’s so much fun to hear a song that you’ve forgotten but have fond memories of. I just pray that sound quality becomes important again. MP3s sound sucky on anything other than an iPod to those who can still HEAR and more importantly FEEL the music.

    9 Hope: I’ve noticed that except for a few posters here we’ve gone back to discussing sex & relationships.

    I want to comment on the question of intelligence, dating and mating. As a person of average intelligence I feel I’ve made big efforts to become more intelligent in ways that matter to me as a woman, mother, and human individual. I have been in love with (and married to) two men with very high IQ’s. My first husband had an IQ of 152. The second, also very high. The man I loved the most though, was by far the most average in the IQ department. He found ME to be too intellectual, yet I had no problem with his lack. In the end, it was a big problem though. In my opinion, a person has to at least be willing to examine themselves or the relationship stagnates and dies.

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  19. I haven’t watched TV for 2 years now and the only music I listen to on a regular basis is Nick Cave and Tom Waits.
    Before we all get into weekend mode, I’d like to wish Roissy and everyone here a very merry christmas! And for the multi-culti crowd, happy holidays!

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  20. 10 SFG: “Most men would rather go after young, hot women period.” What of the trend in men going after older women? Especially those who aren’t interested in having children or just want a more mature woman in general. Younger men, older women: is it becoming more common? As an older women, I get hit on by men in their 20’s sometimes and they seem quite serious and not necessarily desperate either!

    19 VG: Same to you, sweetheart!!

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  21. A lot of man enjoy humping older women. They may even enjoy such a rrelationship for a few years. But men don’t consider older women long term relationship material, so when a 20 year old man dates a 30n year old women the relationship may last 10 years, but then the man (who is 30) will marry a 24 year old woman to have kids with and ditch the older woman.

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  22. You want kids. Even if you don’t buy the rest of the evo-bio stuff, that you have to admit is evolution!

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  23. Come on, what’s the screenplay about?

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  24. “The era of the arena band with staying power is long over”

    True i guess but

    The Who killed at the Virgin Festival last year

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  25. Ahsan: ooooh new Cut Copy. thank you thank you. me likey.

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  26. “The Mating Mind” has a huge chapter on the evolution of art and how females who sexually selected artistic men ended up having more kids.

    Art is a good indicator, because it is useless. If a guy is able to devote mental and time resources to artistic endeavors, then that means that he has all his other, practical, shit under control.

    So, as a female, would you mate with the hunter, or the guy who already finished his hunting and was well into his second porno cave wall painting? And then the painting became a shortcut indicator of a guy who has his shit together.

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  27. As usual, Gannon #21 is right. I knew a couple exactly like that: at 46 she married a guy my age (then 31). It lasted about ten years (which was about nine longer than I thought it would) when he left her for someone slightly younger, with whom he had two kids.

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  28. Well, s’mibi, it seems that Gannon is only partly right. The man you speak of must have considered his older woman to be “marriage material”, or he would not have, you know, married her.

    If you mean that the long-range prospects of such relationships aren’t good, however, then I agree with you. A man who is not himself in the first flush of youthful virility will find it difficult to maintain a sexual relationship with a woman who is considerably older than himself. When sexual expression begins to be a source of contention (rather than slowly fading away as the couple grow old together), the possibility of hurt feelings and estrangement increases greatly.

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  29. 27: So you think Gannon is right? Well, it certainly is probable, which is why I will never date a guy more than 10 years younger and that’s pushing it unless they’ve already had kids or a vasectomy. I’m amazed at how many young men say they never want to have children. Is that just more “massaging” of the truth in order to get laid? A dumb question, I know.

    Honestly, I don’t believe anything anyone says anymore. Unless the words and body language really match up, the person–male or female–is not to be trusted. The truth always comes out eventually. Obviously being needy, insecure, or desperate makes you an easy target for any shyster.

    Shyster: Probably from German Scheisser, literally, defecator.

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  30. sara–

    Those of us who are members of the Tribe know what shyster means.

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  31. I have accused of being too esoteric and it’s quite true–at least where most of this group is concerned–so I’m leaving you with this;

    ESOTERIC: Intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest: esoteric philosophical debates.

    ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Greek esōterikos, from esōterō, comparative of esō ‘WITHIN,’ from es, eis ‘INTO’ Compare with exoteric .

    EXOTERIC: Intended for or likely to be understood by the general public : an exoteric, literal meaning and an esoteric, inner teaching. The opposite of esoteric .
    • relating to the outside world; external : the exoteric and esoteric aspects of life.
    • current or popular among the general public.

    ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: via Latin from Greek exōterikos, from exōterō ‘OUTER,’ comparative of exō ‘OUTSIDE.’

    Being that the outer is a manifestation of the inner….

    Happy Holidays All.

    “sara”

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  32. John Smith — the idea, as you’ve phrased it, is wrong. The logic is right — if art honestly signals already having your basic stuff together, then it’s a signal of waste and thus attractive.

    However, producing art is not an honest signal of having your basic stuff together — throughout history and up to today, artists do not have their basics taken care of, and relied on some form of patronage or led a bohemian life.

    That’s especially true in the case of indie rock bands — it’s not as if they work on Wall St and make the same amount in half the time, allowing them to do the rock thing on the side. At most they have a “day job” (Starbucks, Barnes & Noble, etc.), and at worst they’re layabout sponges.

    Whatever the appeal of rockstars, it is not an honest signal of already having the necessities taken care of through other means.

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  33. At least your taste in music is semi-decent, given your one track indication…

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  34. anon – here are two replies to buller:

    http://psych.mcmaster.ca/dalywilson/reply%20to%20david%20buller.pdf

    http://www.epjournal.net/filestore/ep042622732.pdf

    short answer: buller misprepresented the views of evo-psychs, and he seems to miss the point that older divorced men don’t “choose” younger women as often as younger men do because they don’t have the OPTION to do so. it’s got nothing to do with older men sexually prefering older women.

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