Snow = Gina Tingles

Sitting in Tryst, watching the snow fall and eating a delicious smoked salmon sandwich, I couldn’t help but notice the glow of horniness on girls’ faces. I muse. Does a heavy blanket of snow trigger the provider beta attraction switch in women? After all, in prehistoric times in the northern lands a good snowfall meant wet, cold, and poor foraging prospects (food buried under snow). A technologically proficient and future time oriented beta would have planned for big snow events so that when they arrived he would be the go-to guy with the warm shelter and stored smoked meats. The sexy stud would have been building snow forts until his feet got too cold and he trundled home to the cave to an empty fridge. (My fridge is empty and I’m down to half a roll of TP. You ladies and your messy nether regions are paper hogs. Gaia is displeased.) I wonder if extreme weather inspires women’s lust for resource providing men?

Getting lots of looks as chicks walk by and I wink at them through the window. It must be the confidence I display in the face of uber inclement weather. Or my rugged pea coat.

A girl has tied her labrador up to a post. She sits behind me. The dog is rambunctious and pees on a Lexus SUV parked in front. I turn around and tell her her dog just peed on a Lexus, and that she has it trained well. She laughs. Love? Of course.

Guys, if you live in the snow path go out now and ask passing women if this is good quality snow for snowball making. Tell them you want to make snowballs “that only hurt a little.” That should get the ball rolling.





Comments


  1. I guess a post titled “Snow = Penile Shrinkage” would have clashed too much with the general mood of this blog. Not that I’m complaining or anything.

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  2. on December 19, 2009 at 3:17 pm The Book of Dooderonomy

    Awesome, now that you’re snowed in, maybe we could get some responses to the last two Test of Game posts? Give your loyal readers an early Christmas present.

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  3. i’ve always felt that there’s a switch in the human body that forces us to wind down when the weather turns cold. everyone starts complaining how tired they are in the months of october and november. my guess is that we are evolutionarily programmed to sort of go into a hibernation process to conserve energy and calories.

    maybe there’s a seasonal switch for other human behaviors as well.

    women are attracted to dudez on crotch rockets in the summer time; perhaps in the winter time they switch to digging SWPL types who drive Suburus.

    Plus, I think the frigid weather has a similar effect of “Sick Game” or “Hangover Game”. A man is so cold and his physical being is so affected that he cares marginally less about the chick next to him. His aloofness creates “Frigid Weather Game”.

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  4. on December 19, 2009 at 4:13 pm finsalscollons

    The colder the climate, the harder to find food. The harder to find food, the greater the attractive of the beta provider. The greater the attractive of the beta provider, the more monogamous the society.

    This is why tropical societies (where I live) are more promiscuous and polygamous than colder societies.

    This difference was found from the Stone Age till our days.

    See the science in

    http://evoandproud.blogspot.com/2009/10/sexual-selection-and-ancestral.html

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  5. C3H6N6O6

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  6. WTF is it with women and their nether regions? I go through less than two rolls per month, and that’s including using paper to wipe off residue after a Numero Uno (uncut).

    One or two regulars, each around once a week or so, and my TP burn rate DOUBLES. Jesus.

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  7. Europeans know bidets are the way to go for pre and post coital ablutions.

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  8. Ha I wrote and deleted “I need a bidet” at the end of my comment because, well, I thought of the kind of guy who uses a bidet, and, *shudder*.

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  9. The beginning of another series… let me know what you guys think

    (On Bad Faith- I) http://dissention.wordpress.com/2009/12/19/on-bad-faith-01/

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  10. @Roissy

    I wonder if extreme weather inspires women’s lust for resource providing men?

    I think that perhaps extremely cold weather does. See the mating and procreating patterns of people from cold weather regions (Europe) and compare them to the mating patterns of people from tropical regions (parts of Africa, tropical islands such as Cuba) to confirm this.

    People from cold weather countries do appear to have different relationship patterns.

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  11. Maybe this will benefit me, going to a Northern New England college thats snowed in for half the year.

    Then again, the chicks are just gonna leave as soon as the sun comes back out.

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  12. Sheesh, traffic’s really tanking today all over (at my sites too).

    Might as well write a Merry Christmas post and call it a week.

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  13. does this phenom have anything to do with the well-known apres-ski vibe?

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  14. Dominican Republic is 85 and sunny.

    – MPM

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  15. There aint a female alive who doesn’t love snuggling under blankets…

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  16. G are you swooping honies down there? What do you wear

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  17. If any young lady out there is looking for man to cherish her on this wintry day, John is waiting for his princess.

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  18. I see that the feminist-biased alimony laws are being threatened in – of all places – liberal Massachusetts.

    http://www.boston.com/business/personalfinance/managingyourmoney/archives/2009/12/massachusetts_p.html?p1=Well_MostPop_Emailed7

    Key text “A bill before the state legislature would limit alimony payments in many divorces to “a reasonable period of time” which is defined as half the length of the marriage, but no longer than 12 years unless the supported spouse has minor children. The goal of the bill is that “any party needing alimony shall be self-supporting within a reasonable period of time.” The bill would also require alimony payments to drop 10 percent annually after 5 years (unless the recipient is not able to support him/herself through employment or has custody of a child under 16 years old.)”

    On the one hand, it’s about time. On the other, wait for the crescendo of feminist voices and omega males calling this discriminatory. Marriage is for beta chumps.

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  19. CNN claims you guys (D.C.) are in for a possible record snowfall.

    Alaska got 5 feet 8 inches of snow in one day. A record! They got 4 inches in one hour. That is where global warming was supposed to be the most pronounced. A fitting end to Copenhagen. I hope we have a record cold winter with tons of snow just to spite Al Gore and to make the AGW’ers look like idiots.

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  20. “Dominican Republic is 85 and sunny.”

    Field report? I’ll be going there in the spring.

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  21. Hahahahaha… it is still pleasant here in the San Diego – Los Angeles metroplex!

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  22. So now an alpha is someone who wears a pea-coat and has an empty fridge? Um I’ll accept a certain amount of bullsh*t in a blog, but you’re just mailing it in.

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  23. Here’s some seductive music to accompany the action :

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  24. Wow that was some freaky shit.

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  25. Snow another great reason to move out. It used to be fun back when I enjoyed sledding but now it just sucks ass.

    Course this gonna be in reverse he he he

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  26. Roissy might be time to take a little vacation in brazil. The blaze bla feeling could be because of all the brown snow and salt on the roads of dc.

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  27. Ancient cultures in cold climates didnt forage for food in winter. They eat meat. Eskimos didn’t eat anything but meat. The more fat the better.

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  28. A commented above asked why Roissy hadn’t answered the last TWO “test of your game” posts…

    …there is a reason: Roissy went into them trying to apply bar-scene or first date PUA material and as several readers in each post pointed out, the hypothetical women described just aren’t worth your time, “just move on ” was the truly right answer. ROISSY IS TOO EMBARASSED TO RESPOND.

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  29. There’s absolutely something to this. If you consider a major snowstorm to be a minor version of a crisis – as many, including the media, seem to – then it stands to reason that women are more open to a provider and protector to weather the storm.

    I remember while living in Manhattan during a real crisis, 9/11, that virtually everyone I knew – including Alpha, Beta and even Omega males – was shacked up with some broad or other immediately following the horrific events. This included men I knew who hadn’t gotten laid in over a year. Did a similar thing occur in DC?

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  30. Sounds cognate to Funeral Game.

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  31. on December 20, 2009 at 12:33 pm the one and only

    “A technologically proficient and future time oriented beta would have planned for big snow events so that when they arrived he would be the go-to guy with the warm shelter and stored smoked meats. The sexy stud would have been building snow forts until his feet got too cold and he trundled home to the cave to an empty fridge.”

    I thought the last post made it clear that betas build nothing and contribute nothing? That they are, in fact, completely useless wastes of oxygen? Now I’m so confused.

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  32. “I remember while living in Manhattan during a real crisis, 9/11, that virtually everyone I knew – including Alpha, Beta and even Omega males – was shacked up with some broad or other immediately following the horrific events.”

    A lot of people also made big changes to their lives after that, including ending current relationships as well as quitting jobs, moving, etc.

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  33. @Taggart

    “So now an alpha is someone who wears a pea-coat and has an empty fridge? Um I’ll accept a certain amount of bullsh*t in a blog, but you’re just mailing it in.”

    I agree, and the bit about the “alpha” building snow forts instead of storing food for the winter was also a bit over the top. If you were going to get stuck in a cave or a small room for an entire cold winter during which leaving for any extended period of time would probably mean your death, and you didn’t bother gathering any supplies, then you would be an idiot. It wouldn’t matter how “alpha” you were or if you were wearing a pea coat.

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  34. Here in Orlando springtime is the magic season. Women are noticeably more amorous. I realized this a few years ago.

    Must be the fact that we haven’t seen a single snowflake in over 10 years.

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  35. I have consistently less success with picking up women during the winter here in the frozen north. It seems that many women get into relationships in the fall and hunker down with someone waiting out the cold only to emerge like a butterfly in the warm spring months. Springtime is the best time for pick-up. Women seem fresh and ready to go.

    Another downside to winter here is that some people bundle up so much it’s hard to tell if they’re attractive or not, definitely less eye candy now.

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  36. When I am in a relationship during the winter I find that I get away with being lazier than usual WRT the woman.

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  37. on December 20, 2009 at 5:50 pm Epoxytocin No. 87

    Jack, Taggart

    “So now an alpha is someone who wears a pea-coat and has an empty fridge? Um I’ll accept a certain amount of bullsh*t in a blog, but you’re just mailing it in.”

    I agree, and the bit about the “alpha” building snow forts instead of storing food for the winter was also a bit over the top. If you were going to get stuck in a cave or a small room for an entire cold winter during which leaving for any extended period of time would probably mean your death, and you didn’t bother gathering any supplies, then you would be an idiot. It wouldn’t matter how “alpha” you were or if you were wearing a pea coat.

    Jesus, you guys.

    There should be a humor-impaired version of this blog, on which comments meant in jest, or with an ironical bent, show up in some different color.

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  38. It’s the change in scenery.

    Ever notice how tourist women are easier than women ensconced in their environment? Or how the easiest time to get laid in college is the beginning of a semester or school year? Its because the ground has shifted, the environment is knew. Women instinctively grasp onto men for support in these times, since in the past a change in environment was a bad thing. Women grasp on via sex.

    Also, when the environment changes, women think they have the power to change themselves, and “go out” and “be adventurous” instead of being the same slutty shitheads they are. lol.

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  39. How does it feel knowing you have single-handedly created the ‘counter reformation’.

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  40. Ahh…cougars in the snow…such a site…call the Beta Brigade…the 30 and 40 something women smartly dressed, sophisticated, stylish, strong and independent got their eco-friendly cars stuck in the snow outside on my street; I hopped in my menacing politically incorrect diesel sucking 4X4 and smiled and waved to the nice ladies cleaning the snow from their vehicles desperately hoping some betas would be their slaves for the day…perfect snowfall here…off to ski gents.

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  41. There should be a humor-impaired version of this blog, on which comments meant in jest, or with an ironical bent, show up in some different color.

    What are you talking about?! EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET IS SRS!!!

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  42. Let us pay the unemployed to consume.. at least they are are not banksters.

    Alternative View on Money- III
    http://dissention.wordpress.com/2009/12/21/alternative-view-on-money-03/

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  43. Maybe women get horny in winter from drinking too much and stuffing their faces with chocolate.

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  44. Perhaps in the depths of winter with the snow falling , somewhere in the reptilian and monkey brain of a woman the nesting instincts are roused and she subconsciously looks for a suitable male to ensure her survival through the harshness of the season.

    What about then the onset of Spring ? …. breeding season baby !

    And Summer … the sun , the heat , more exposed flesh , more competition for attention by other women.
    It surely sends their ‘ginas into overdrive.

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  45. on December 21, 2009 at 7:40 am Phenomenal One

    I’ve gone out during the winter time less & less as the years have gone by. at one point i used to go out more during the winter time than in the summer time.

    @ I_Affe

    I see that with alot of people when Spring hits.
    we’re basically stuck inside our homes and winter-wear for months and to finally be able to just take a walk down the street is great.

    I consider Spring the beat season because it’s not to hot and it’s not to cold, it’s the perfect combination.

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  46. Gina tingles good. Penile shrinkage bad.

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  47. My girlfriend needs me but I don’t need her.

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  48. on December 21, 2009 at 12:51 pm a very attractive woman

    Snow is beautiful in and of itself. If you get there to that feeling you’ll have more than gina tingles to look forward to.

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  49. on December 21, 2009 at 1:23 pm PERSONAL TRAINER

    Living in snow belt country as I do and watching women eat like pigs till their asses grow to massive snowball sizes.

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  50. Oh man, this blog is hilarious.

    At first I thought it was satire, sadly a more thorough read makes me think it is not.

    I need to correct something.

    Wolf pack structure:

    I noticed men are classified as “Alpha” “Beta” and “Omega”. Since the only other place these terms are used are to identify roles within a wolf pack, I’ll assume this is where it was ripped off from.

    It is true that wolf packs are organized with an Alpha breeding pair, however the Betas are generally the offspring of the Alpha pair. They do not challenge the Alpha pair because they were raised from birth not to. Challenging of an Alpha wolf (male or female) does not happen in the wild because most pups go off to found their own packs once fully mature. Omegas are almost only found in captive human reared packs with unrelated wolves, and become an outlet for the entire pack to release the stress of captivity on. They are not generally observed in the wild.

    Alpha pairs are ALWAYS monogamous. The Alpha female suppresses fertility in all other females (her daughters) so the male only mates with her (it is not evolutionarily prudent to mate with one’s offspring). The Alpha male is not the leader because he is the biggest wolf douchebag of all, he is the leader because he is the father of the entire pack. The Alpha female is not one of many mates the male keeps around to sow his seed, she is the only unrelated female within the pack, and has actively suppressed estrus in the other females. If anybody is wielding any power within the pack, its her.

    Applying these terms to humans is folly as they don’t really exist the way you envision them in wolf packs.

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  51. Well, yeah, buddy. Almost right.
    I’ll offer another theory.
    Girls look for healthy males, so if you manage to look fit with this weather, that qualifies you.
    But were I to leave my bed and “walk” around coughing, I don’t think i’d get quite as many IOIs.

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  52. “rugged pea coat”

    ….ha….ha. I was at tryst as well, must have been at a different time, I would have noticed a pea coat wearing mountain man.

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  53. Alaska got 5 feet 8 inches of snow in one day. A record! They got 4 inches in one hour. That is where global warming was supposed to be the most pronounced. A fitting end to Copenhagen. I hope we have a record cold winter with tons of snow just to spite Al Gore and to make the AGW’ers look like idiots.

    Yeah, global warming is a total hoax. I mean, who woulda thunk D.C. and Alaska would see all this snow… in the middle of December. NASA, the National Academy of Sciences, the IPCC, Royal Society — they’re full of it. Someone should send a note pointing them to ‘z’ over at this wordpress blog.

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  54. Europeans know bidets are the way to go for pre and post coital ablutions

    argh

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  55. […] But the fact of the matter was at our deepest most human core, we were all horny. So horny. […]

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  56. PhoenixR: Doesn’t matter what wolves do. Alphas in humans tend to be defined as those who get sex with mostly their choice of a variety of high quality females while Betas are chosen by one female to be a provider and do what SHE wants (men don’t want to be monogamous but do so when ordered by a superior or demanding female) and Omegas suck wind (get no sex).

    You make no point when you try to define wolf packs as your perfect feminist society.

    Roissy: Yes, Snow = Sex – It just started snowing heavily, again, in Eastern Europe and my phone has been ringing with booty calls – they know I have the heat on high and they can cuddle in down comforters without clothes and not worry about having to wear sweaters at home in their dad’s apartment (where papa wants to save on heating bills).

    In DC, however, I am sure there is less interest where women are already living in warm apartments with all the luxuries…where Daddy is rich, it is less fun just as in the Beach Boys song “She’ll have fun (rejecting guys) til her Daddy takes her TBird away”

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