Why You Should Never Delete Stale Numbers

From the archives:

Girl: Hey, how are you! I saw you upstairs and wanted to say hi. We met already. Remember me? Sarah?

Me: [scanning her face… thinking… thinking… drawing a complete blank.] Yeah! You do look familiar! Hi, it’s nice to see you.

Girl: You too! I know we kind of left it off in a weird way. My life was really hectic at that time and that’s why I didn’t get back to you. I really was in the middle of a big move. But everything’s back to normal now.

Me: [remembering now] Oh yeah! I remember you. [shaking head] I thought that was an uncreative excuse.

Girl: No, it was the truth!

Me: You know what this means… You owe me 20 drinks and lots of flattery for hurting my sensitive feelings. You’ve got some catching up to do. You’re already in the hole, behind, like, 100 points.

Girl: Haha. Well, we’ll see about that. Anyhow, just wanted to say hi. [looking expectantly at me]

Me: Hm, I suppose now that you’re settled in we could take another shot at meeting up for a conversation.

Girl: Do you still have my number?

Me: I’m not sure. Lemme check. [SLOOOOWWWLY scrolling through my phone list, like I’m going through a thousand numbers] Here we are. Um, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve got a few Sarahs in here. Don’t worry, some of these are old numbers from weeks ago. Let’s see if I get the right Sarah on the first guess. XXX-XXX-XXX?

Girl: Yep, that’s my number!

Me: OK, go back to your friends. I’ll give you a call sometime. Bye.


  1. Smooth!

    Makes sense to not delete stale numbers.

    I used to, however, delete dead numbers. “Dead” means tel. numbers of girls who broke dates without a counter-offer, acted uninterested or rude, or dodged the first kiss.


  2. hmmmmm… i have just recently deleted some stale numbers. meh, no worries. there are many more to come i suppose.

    but yeah, good advice…


  3. Still – why is Sarah Palin qualified to be VP?
    Cause she was friendly to you?


  4. Yeah, its works in the USA to keep stale numbers… Almost no names ever repeat.

    Unfortunately, in Russia, there are only about 3 names for girls so I have about 50 Natashas in my phone. Even writing down the name of the place where I met them doesn’t help anymore. It’s like Natasha 26 — Fabrique Club, Natasha 27 – Fabrique Club, Natasha 28 – Fabrique Club. I’ve even resorted to entries like Natasha Fabrique Club, June, Blonde, Red Dress and it still doesn’t help to job my memory.

    I need to buy the phone where you can put their picture next to the entry.


  5. on September 12, 2008 at 11:08 pm Glengarry Glenpoon

    @3: Closing with that VP means waking up with a smile.


  6. @ Dynamo Kiev:

    In Soviet Russia, girl calls you!


  7. JP, you magnificent bastard! As I was reading Dynamo’s comment, I thought, there’s gotta be a “Soviet Russia” joke in here somewhere it, and dammit, you beat me to it.


  8. “Um, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve got a few Sarahs in here.”



  9. yeah, twice i’ve had late night calls and follow up messages left while my phone was off….but didn’t have the girls number anymore or couldn’t figure out what her name was. *sigh* keep them just in case is sage advice Roissy.


  10. on September 18, 2008 at 4:26 pm JimVanMorrissey

    @ Dynamo Kiev:

    I hear you. Here in Budapest I’ve got a total of three “Jam Pub Zsuzsi”‘s in my phone.

    Maybe it’d be better to further qualify the entry with a rating out of ten…


  11. I am officially hooked to this blog!


  12. Did you spelunk her various cavities later?