Reader Mailbag

My Inbox is getting unmanageable. So if you don’t see your post in the Reader Mailbag, or I take too long replying to your emails, you’ll know why. I need an assistant. Anyone want to brave my excruciatingly tense interview process? You must be: Cute, hot, pretty. Female.

This week’s mailbag features guest contributions from Finefantastic and Damian.

Email #1

I’m writing you because I’ve very clearly done something wrong, and I think you’re probably the only one who can help- being a 3rd party. I’m a NAF that was engaged to a greater beta, we were together for 6 years and engaged for 1. Then he went to NY to intern for a big law firm for the summer and started talking about going out with a coworker all the time. I thought that was a little unusual but didn’t feel the least bit threatened, especially after I met her. The woman was/ is a warpig (AND a female attorney! the least sexy occupation, right??) He’s even acknowledged (after he dumped me for her) that her face is “not her best attribute”.

I’m pissed that he took up the prime years of my dating life (21-almost 27), and bewildered…it’s not like I don’t get hit on a lot, but losing to a warpig will mindfuck you. How could this happen?

Thanks,
A.

Damian:
Never Underestimate the Majestic Warpig!

In the animal kingdom, the wild boar is ungainly, ugly, smelly, and foul tempered. But this member of the pig family is no barnyard slouch! Clever, brave, armed with sharp tusks, and possessing a certain uncanny swagger, it’s no surprise that the boar became a symbol of nobility and charisma in Medieval Europe. Even today it adorns the crest of my favorite cold cuts…….Boarshead!

The lesson here is, you met this woman, and because of her warpig looks, you completely dismissed her as harmless and no threat to steal your man. But little did you know, she was using her other attributes to win him over, most definitely doing all kinds of perverted kinky things in bed, things that you……couldn’t even dream of, perhaps because you never had to, as you’re not a warpig?

Finefantastic:
Oh, warpigs. Maybe she had a heart of gold. Maybe not. Why waste more of “prime dating years” agonizing about a situation out of your control? Besides, a good mindfuck builds character. Spin this into a screenplay or interpretive dance.

Me:
NAF? Northeast Asian Female? Nascent Alpha Female? Nasty Ass Female? I suspect this email is a joke. It has hit on too many of my themes and attempted to subvert them. Devil’s handiwork! He probably hooked up with a 10 secretary and you’re just pissed. If your email is true, then all I can say is… you got beat by a warpig! That’s gotta hurt! Consolation prize: You get to experience the thrill of my attention.

Email #2

I need your advice. I follow your blog religiously, and I am grateful for the pragmatic advice you give. It works.

Recently, I have applied your advice to a girl that I work with. We are currently both attracted to each other (and have verbally confirmed that for each other). We spend time together after work going for dinner and hanging out. We flirt with each other all the time. She lets me grab her ass, hug her, etc. The problem is that she has been in a relationship for about 3 months. She tells me we are just really good friends who have to deal with the attraction that we have for each other, but the physical nature of our “friendship” tells me she is very temped. Obviously I want more. Also, I am currently in a relationship that has been going for 16 months, but is slowly dying. She is aware of this.

A few more details to clarify the problem:

– She use to be overweight, but is quite decent now. Also, she is very insecure, but is slowly making progress overcoming that.
– She seems to have some issues with her current boyfriend (they have been dating for about 3 months and currently moved in together). She has criticized him to me on a couple of occassions. I get the sense that her insecurities make her cling to this guy.
– We have talked about our attraction for each other on numerous occassions. We have both admited that it is difficult to be attracted to each other, and still try to maintain our “committed” relationships with our respective partners.
– When I back off, she encourages me to continue flirting with her, and becomes pouty if I don’t.

Anyway, give it your best shot. I appreciate your wisdom.

Feel free to post the problem and advice, but leave my name out of it.

Truly Grateful

Me:
Mistaken Assumption #1: Thinking that a girl “verbally confirming” her attraction means anything. It doesn’t. The only confirmation of a girl’s attraction for you that matters is your penis in her vagina. On the hierarchy of female attraction signals (IOIs), a verbal confirmation counts about as much as a girl saying “could you please pass the salt?”. Thrust your hand under her skirt. Is it warm? Then she’s attracted to you.

Mistaken Assumption #2: Thinking that a girl who has “issues” with her current boyfriend means that she is ready to dump him for you. Nope, it’s just the opposite. When a girl badmouths her BF it means she wants his cock more than ever. Jesus, dude, she moved in with the guy. That should be a clue.

As a former fatty, this chick is obviously exercising her newfound power and LORDING it over you. You are the classic chump. The tool. The AFC. The harmless practice beta she uses for the ego boost. Feeling like shit yet? Good. Now you may begin your journey to enlightenment.

Here is my advice: The next time she “verbally confirms” her attraction for you, or talks to you about her asshole BF, tell her you’re not her therapist. You’re too busy fucking your girlfriend up the ass to deal with her issues. THEN you may have a shot with her.

Email #3

I’m an attractive 27 year old white woman who lives in the DC metro area.  I’ve always been bicurious, but although I certainly find many white women pretty to look at I am rarely sexually attracted to them.  I am primarily attracted to feminine Latinas and Greek/Italian looking women like Monica Bellucci.  I’m not all THAT into chicks, so I’d have to be very attracted to a woman to “go there”, and all of the lesbian/bisexual women I’ve met are even somewhat feminine are white. I have yet to meet a non-butch Latina lesbian.  I’ve met sexy Latinas with whom I’ve had a little bit of flirty chemistry but they’ve never been willing to take it further.  The expats have been ice cold in this regard.  Is this a DC thing?

When I look into the eyes of nearly every white woman of Northern European lineage I’ve ever met I simply don’t see the deep, intrinsic womanliness that Latinas, Mediterrenean, and some Russian women {have].  Sorry ladies, but we all have our tastes.

Will I have to settle for some banal Pink lookalike?

DL

Finefantastic:
Deep intrinsic womanliness? That is hilarious. If you want to avoid the Pink and Eminem lookalikes, I’d suggest Craigslist. Or a prostitute that fits your bill. Or get the sexy Latinas drunk.

Me:
What the fuck am I supposed to know about lesbians? Most of them are repulsive lumpy potato sacks. Bicurious lipstick pseudo-lezzies are great, but their cultural elevation as a male fantasy figure is way out of proportion to their actual numbers in society. Out of 100 dykes, there might be one decent looking feminine girl.

And it’s time the Northern Euro chicks stopped getting pegged as sexually repressed, Puritan, shrews lacking in “womanliness”. The hottest fucks I’ve ever had were with Irish lasses. German frauleins are downright deviant in bed. Polish babes are amazingly romantic. Asian girls are gentle, loving, and obsessed with the anus… you get the picture.

Email #4

Here’s a topic you might want to offer for consideration: women and e-mailing. Every woman I know, and I know quite a few, seems to have a built-in resistance to e-mails.( At least, personal e-mails. I assume they look at and respond to job-related e-mails.) I’ll send them things I think they’ll find interesting, and invariably they say, “I just don’t have time to look at my e-mail.” Yet they always seem to find time for telephone conversations, often lengthy ones, and that would seem to take up much more time than it would to check and read one’s e-mail. I’d be curious to know if other guys have noticed this.

B.

Finefantastic:
I often delete things people email me that I “may find interesting”. Usually it’s some sob-story cash grab, a moronic chain letter or an arcane article about politics. I could care less. If it is in fact interesting, I will take care to read future emails from that person. Separate yourself from the chaff by using shocking and offensive subject lines. As for girls and the phone, we need all the time we can get to ruminate over profound topics (like guys and episodes of Intervention).

Me:
Your observation is absolutely correct. Girls do not answer emails, or they take forever to reply. Which is funny, because they check their email every fucking second, glued as they are by an electronic umbilical cord to their Blackberries and iPhones. Scientists are hard at work figuring out why this is so… and why girls imagine we aren’t on to them. Bottom line: Girls prefer talking on the phone because it’s easier that way for them to tease out any crippling beta flaws you might have. They suspect a guy who has spent a lot of time lovingly crafting an email is not showing her his spontaneous, out of the box, improvisational, real-time worth as a man.

Maxim #52: Girls need to test men for their grace under pressure.

Advice: Stop sending them “interesting” emails. Every time a guy tells me he does this, I know he’s actually sending “LAME” emails that bore the girl to tears. Please re-read the “Sixteen Commandments of Poon” and memorize Commandments V and VI. Stick to text and short phone calls.





Comments


  1. Hilarious.

    If there were a “digg this” button I’d absolutely be clicking it.

    Email 1 is hilarious

    Emailer 2 needs to cowboy up and either swing for the fences or go home. Admitting you guys like each other?? No guts, no glory buddy.

    Email 4: I’ve noticed this too. Send a girl who kayaks a video of some incredible kayaking videos, no reply, or even acknowledgment of getting the email the next time you see her.

    I try to stay clear of emailing. A short text. Here’s something I think worth discussion. After collecting a phone number, what’s the group consensus – send a text or give her a ring? The setup is usually I specify a night, and sometimes location for our first drink, but not a time.

    A girl said a phone call is so much more personable and shows confidence. Texting is fast, more likely to get a reply instead of her voicemail, and you can think about what you are going to say.

    Like


  2. I’d love to see Roissy and Dan Savage in one room.

    Like


  3. The woman was/ is a warpig (AND a female attorney! the least sexy occupation, right??) He’s even acknowledged (after he dumped me for her) that her face is “not her best attribute”.

    I’m pissed that he took up the prime years of my dating life (21-almost 27), and bewildered…it’s not like I don’t get hit on a lot, but losing to a warpig will mindfuck you. How could this happen

    It happened because many men who go into law (many, not all) are status-obsessed to a fault. Unlike most men, they would often prefer a homely chick with a similar legal pedigree over a hot piece of eye candy. An incredible amount of male lawyers choose to get with female lawyers their own age rather than get a young hottie. A lot of my status-obsessed doctor friends are similar about wanting to get with a fellow doctor as a mate, but that’s not so bad as I don’t think female doctors are as bad to deal with as female lawyers.

    Like


  4. Right on about the emailing thing.

    Like


  5. Dear A.
    Whether your letter to Roissy is a farce or not, I fear that you have slipped beyond reading R. for entertainment or gawking. His rigid, narrow views on sexuality, suitability, and attraction may have gained acceptance to you. I recommend a hiatus from reading here. If you desire quality advise, read Corolyn Hax’s column or podcast.

    Like


  6. It happened because many men who go into law (many, not all) are status-obsessed to a fault. Unlike most men, they would often prefer a homely chick with a similar legal pedigree over a hot piece of eye candy.

    Beta Zone: In my deepest, darkest moments, I had reasoned that sexless marriage with Wellesley Queen would have been better than marrying a prole hot girl because Wellesley Queen was going to become a somebody, and by inference, my children would have been somebodies. If putting up with Wellesley Queen was the only ticket to my kids going to an Ivy, I’d take it. One should never underestimate the desire of some for “legacy”.

    The interesting part is that Wellesley Queen is still the “benchmark” that I’ve compared women to…

    Like


  7. I have got to say that I’m fairly certain that with his response to Email #2, Roissy has won the Internet.

    Any further posting by anyone at this point is just a complete waste of time. It’s all there.

    Like


  8. T – I’m an attorney, though not very typical for my type. I think you’re probably right on the money, though there is another angle here.

    This guy is clerking so he’s not a lawyer yet. He’s in law school and he’s landed a clerkship with a big city firm. If he doesn’t fuck it up, he will get a job offer.

    He has been told and now knows exactly what will be expected of him to succeed at that firm. There is no way his non-lawyer girlfriend is going to stick with him through that. His only hope is to find a fellow sufferer.

    Like most big firm associates, he’ll eventually realize the game is complete bullshit and go do something else, but right now he sees the prize: partnership.

    And to do the things that get you a partnership at a big city big firm, you aren’t going to have time for a non-lawyer girlfriend, nor will that girl put up with it.

    Like


  9. Email #2

    – If you’re willing to write off the friendship in the medium to long-term, you might as well bang her.
    – If you like being pretend boyfriend, then you maybe the status quo is best, but it’s not going to last beyond the medium-term at best.
    – Roissy is right, bitching about a boyfriend doesn’t mean you have a shot. If you run “teh game”, you may win a coveted spot as her secret hidden boyfriend with an eventual downgrade to legit boyfriend.

    Like


  10. Jourdan, you are definitely right, the shared lifestyle also plays a big part. There are nonlawyer girls who will put up with it for the status though, but it’s likely they’d be fucking other guys on the side because the guy will never be around. So he’ll either find a nonlawyer girl who won’t put up with those hours, or one that will put up with his hours but he has to constantly worry about cuckolding him because she he’ll never be around. At least with the fellow big firm girl, she’ll be too busy suffering alongside him, plus they’ll have a lot of time to spend together at work. And of course, there’s the status thing, which I think means more to male lawyers when evaluating partners than to most other men.

    Like


  11. you may win a coveted spot as her secret hidden boyfriend with an eventual downgrade to legit boyfriend.

    this may be the funniest thing you have ever written here. there’s hope for you yet.

    ps: i had a bad dream last night about you killing yourself. there was a tombstone with ‘DA’ carved into it. i just knew it was you and it was a suicide. no joke. could you please get laid so i never have another dream with you in it? :shudder:

    Like


  12. on November 21, 2008 at 1:54 pm ironrailsironweights

    Here’s something I think worth discussion. After collecting a phone number, what’s the group consensus – send a text or give her a ring? The setup is usually I specify a night, and sometimes location for our first drink, but not a time.
    A girl said a phone call is so much more personable and shows confidence. Texting is fast, more likely to get a reply instead of her voicemail, and you can think about what you are going to say.

    I’ll go with the phone call, as like the girl said it shows confidence. It’s more challenging because of the immediate give-and-take and the inability to spend time thinking about what you’re going to say. Texting can almost be thought of as the coward’s way out because of its lack of immediacy.

    Peter

    Like


  13. I’ve been puzzling on the meaning of NAF. Newly Available Female? Naked Ass Female? Nerdy Asian? Naturally Asexual? Neighborly Albino?

    I may not sleep until this is cleared up.

    Like


  14. I read it as native american female, but perhaps that is simply because I’m in the West.

    Like


  15. Regarding email, I’ve also noticed that many girls hate using it even though they paradoxically love other similar ways of communication such as SMS and Facebook messages. It seems to me that among the young female population, email has kept some undertones from the old times when internet itself was something only geeks cared about. For many girls, it’s perceived as something that’s necessary for work, but nobody except nerds would do just for fun.

    This could be due to the fact that email still has a technical air about it — you purposely log into a machine with the sole intention of sending and receiving text messages, and even in the best designed webmail pages and email clients, everything is full of formalized, technical-looking details that are aesthetically repulsive for many girls. In contrast, SMS and messaging on social networks came as a prepackaged part of other stuff that girls find incredibly fun, and thus share its coolness. Also, the aesthetic experience of using a modern cell phone or a website like Facebook is far superior to email for a typical girl, with all the customizable cute pictures, addressing people by names, etc.

    Like


  16. I thought Non Attached Female after I failed while trying to fit “Dumped” in the acronym.

    Like


  17. “But this member of the pig family is no barnyard slouch! Clever, brave, armed with sharp tusks, and possessing a certain uncanny swagger, it’s no surprise that the boar became a symbol of nobility and charisma in Medieval Europe”

    oh Zeets, you just made my day!

    Like


  18. I would assume that “NAF” is a reference to the “Nascent Alpha Female” category on Roissy’s Dating Market Test for Women.

    Like


  19. Email #4: I think you’re spot on about email Roissy. If she’s got you in the running to penetrate she needs to test if you’re worthy which can’t be done effectively via email. However, women release endorphins when engaged in conversation, which is why chicks love gossiping and talking incessently. Instances in which a woman prefers messaging or commenting on Facebook and MySpace is when it serves her massive black-hole-like need for attention.

    Like


  20. Regarding email, I’ve also noticed that many girls hate using it even though they paradoxically love other similar ways of communication such as SMS and Facebook messages

    SMS, Facebook, and IMs are essentially easy ways to leave small comments in a conversation like manner while e-mail still reeks of that need to have properly written and coherent paragraphs and some basic semblance of grammar and spelling. It’s similar to the difference between Nextel Direct Connect and calling somebody on the phone.

    Like


  21. David Alexander, just FYI, nobody knows who or what “Wellesley Queen”is, so stop acting like its obvious. I think I visited your blog a while back but got bored and I don’t remember seeing it there. So please, for future reference, just say “my friend”, or “the one girl whose leg ive prematurely ejaculated on”. Any other bizarre allusions to people nobody else knows but you would be best given in similar user-friendly references. This paragraph demonstrates much more care than I actually have toward you. Not trying to be a dick, just sayin.

    Also, the email thing I never noticed until people here brought it up, and I am heartily amused. Totally true for the most part from what I can tell, and I agree with the whole analysis in comparison to Facebook, etc. One of my favorite things is calling BS on the lame ideosynchracies that the majority of girls share for bad reasons – which this site does a great job of. Something that has been mentioned in past posts that I think works well to a point is calling them on shit like that saying “god, why do all girls like X?” or something like that. Really makes them feel average and just one of the herd.

    Like


  22. The Wellesley Queen I remember is a riverboat casino in Biloxi, Mississippi. As fine a ship as I have e’er seen.

    This email question does present an obvious business opportunity: email prostitution. A witty girl who doesn’t mind taking it up the inbox could make a decent buck by conversing with the email/internet habitants who get itchy, flaky scalp at the mere thought of a live conversation.

    I nominate FineFantastic to be the digital madame.

    Like


  23. That email observation is the best thing I heard in a while. Years back when I used to use social networking sites, I used to always think it was stupid to receive an email in my inbox from saying “You have a message,” then going into the site and logging in to read and respond to the message, then logging back out again. I would think about what a waste of extra steps it was to do that and suggest that we just continue via email rather than always logging onto the stupid social network to talk. And every time I did that the communication would stall out. Yakking on the social site they would be willing to do like crazy, but an email turned them off. After that I learned to not use email too much with women.

    Like


  24. Can I give some advice to Email #3?

    1. Yes, there are a lot of dykie looking dykes out there. So if you want a feminine girl then you’d be better off trying to score a straight girl. Most of the women I’ve been with were straight women in straight relationships. not that I always knew that at the time.
    2. It sounds to me like you don’t want pussy bad enough. your standards are very high and i don’t think you’ll ever get your dream scenario which is: hot lesbian does lots of hot things to you while you just lay there. It won’t work because any lesbian hot or not can see you coming from a mile away and know you will be a bad lay.
    3. Maybe it’s a matter of personal style but the phrase “they weren’t willing to take it further” tells me that you were doing something wrong. I’ve never had a woman not want to take things further because they were always the one trying to take things further with me. In this way, you getting women into bed is not much different than a man trying to get them into bed. If anything it can be easier because a woman does not set off the same alarm signals that a man does. I’m not saying you can get any woman you want, far from it, but it’s not that difficult. There’s pretty much one in every crowd.

    Hope this helps.

    Like


  25. About email #1, I believe Roissy’s answer is the most plausible. There are guys out there who are very turned on by power in a woman, but you have to have at least a little something going for you in the looks department to pull it off as sexy power and not “warpig”ness.

    She may be chubby or even at the low end of fat, but have a fabulous smile, pretty eyes, great hair, a good waist/hip ratio, and be very cultured. Perhaps she also has good family values and at least says that she’d put her career in the background to actively raise her kids.

    Yes, these are things less media pretty women seem to need more than the 7-10’s, but it’s the reason most wealthy guys’ first wives are not usually at the upper end of media pretty. She may well be an Alpha female…a future matriarch, and may already be functioning as the she-thug of her mom or grandma.

    Wave a steak in front of a wolf.

    Email #3, doesn’t really like women. Find another hobby.

    Like


  26. on November 21, 2008 at 7:01 pm ironrailsironweights

    Courtesy of “Horny Cow” (Moo!), here is today’s tasty GNP contribution. Mom always said that dairy products are healthy for you.

    Peter

    Like


  27. For what it’s worth I think social networking sites are a waste of time.

    Like


  28. Email #2

    I think this girl definitely does not belong in the madonna half (read girlfriend end of the spectrum vs the whore end of the madonna-whore spectrum). Do you really want to deal with what sounds like a whole lot of un-fun if you do become her boyfriend later? You do not want to be the one that breaks her low self-esteem cycle. Ignore anything that comes out of her mouth as feedback, watch only her actual behavior – thats the only truthful observation you can make, then hit it, follow up with Ali style ‘rope a dope’ for the rest of the time…. =p cheers!

    Like


  29. Woman in email #2 probably takes joy in nursing thoughts of disloyalty in the guy and ending the 16 month relationship.

    Email reeks of “regular mail.” And regular mail=junk mail.
    That’s why I hate it, anyways…

    Like


  30. The J. Geils Band had the best take on Email 1. (Note, this was J. Geils in the 1970s when they were an awesome blues-based rock band, not the 80s J. Geils.):

    Some fellas look at the eyes
    Some fellas look at the nose
    Some fellas look at the size
    Some fellas look at the clothes
    I don’t care if her eyes are red
    I don’t care if her nose is long
    I don’t care if she’s underfed
    I don’t care if her clothes are worn
    First I look at the purse!
    Some fellas like the smiles they wear
    Some fellas like the legs that’s all
    Some fellas like the style of their hair
    Want their waist to be small.
    I don’t care if their legs are thin
    I don’t care if their teeth are big
    I don’t care if their hair’s a wig
    Why waste time lookin’ at the waistline?
    First I look at the purse!
    A woman can be fat as can be,
    kisses sweet as honey
    But that don’t mean a thing to me
    If you ain’t got no money
    If the purse is fat….that’s where it’s at.
    Some fellas like the way they walk
    The way they swing and sway
    Some fellas like the way they talk
    Dig the things they say.
    I don’t care if they wobble like a…
    or talk with a lisp
    I still think I’m a good lover
    if the dollar bills are crisp
    First I look at the purse!
    First I look at the purse!
    First I look at the purse!
    First I look at the purse!
    I don’t care if you got yourself a wrap
    all I want is your pretty green cash
    Bought me a suit, bought me a car
    Want me to look like a hollywood star
    Money, (Money!) I want money (Money!)
    Baby, ain’t no “why”, baby (Money!)
    I need money!
    First I look at the purse!
    First I look at the purse!
    First I look at the purse!
    First I look at the purse!

    Like


  31. I certainly find many white women pretty to look at I am rarely sexually attracted to them. I am primarily attracted to feminine Latinas and Greek/Italian looking women like Monica Bellucci
    😯
    What have I started???

    Like


  32. Chic, did you write that?

    Like


  33. No

    I just think it’s funny:)

    Like


  34. “Asian girls are gentle, loving, and obsessed with the anus”

    What did you mean by this?

    Do they like to receive it in the anus?

    Or did you mean giving? Do they like giving rimjobs?

    Or just accessories…..like butt plugs, anal beads, etc.

    Like


  35. on November 22, 2008 at 4:23 am Cannon's Canon

    @ b ritz

    haha, gotta tell ya… went to west garden last year with some coworkers, a rub-n-tug around midtown manhattan… not usually my scene, but anyway… the massage was legit, but the asian chick starting using all her techniques as soon as she rolled me over for the finale: tight grip, high speed, etc. i figured i’d be playing it cool to tough it out a few minutes mentally and enjoy my wank, little did i know! there was a whole lot of lube going on down there and the lights were so low i couldn’t make out what was happening, not necessarily a visual image i’d savor for later anyway… BUT SUDDENLY! a cold hard index finger slipped its way beyond the sunshine, and lo and behold, i was on a massage table getting fingerbanged by a “crazy asian handjob masseuse.” anyway, the sensation was minimal, and the excessive lube was positively numbing. after about ten+ minutes, she said to me, “yoojah!” i said, “what?” she asks, “yoojah?” i say, “no, i don’t want a drink.” she counters, “no, you jahhk now.” so i started cranking that souljah boy while she two-fingered my asshole (in my defense, her hands were the size of compact discs). when i got ready to pop, i told her to take over, and i laid back while she one-handed the mic and two-fingered the turntables. as per usual in the rub-n-tugs, she laughed when i popped and said, “OHHH STWONG BOY!” then literally ran out to wash her hand which i am sure, despite the dim lights, was stained brown with my poo.

    and that, my friend, is why asians are obsessed with the anus.

    Like


  36. Roissy – you are such a fucking pornocchio; give it up man.

    Like


  37. Nate “[if one sends] a girl who kayaks a video of some incredible kayaking videos, no reply, or even acknowledgment of getting the email the next time you see her.”
    === Few things are less interesting to an enthusiast than getting a link to something related to their hobby. They follow it from the inside, so anything an outsider or dilettante sends them will be something they’re already aware of.

    “After collecting a phone number, what’s the group consensus – send a text or give her a ring?
    == R and Roosh have noted what a boon texting is as males can use it so efficiently to weed out girls who are only marginally interested (if she doesn’t respond to a text, why would a phone call work better [if you’re sure she’s not wife material, that is])? And of course impersonal forms of communication are not what estrogen-wired brains are into.

    PA “I’d love to see Roissy and Dan Savage in one room.”
    === I’ll bet Savage would love it more.

    Lisa
    === Ah, for a world where DA was absent from this blog and his posts were replaced by a Lisa’s lez advice…

    I’m just wondering how unattractive the NAF who wrote the letter could be. The thing about females being not as attuned to physical attractiveness probably doesn’t apply as much between females as it does to woman evaluating males. Plus I smell “out of league” here. A female looking for a cute female who gets rejected left and right sounds like a troll male going for nines and tens. Ain’t gonna happen, especially in the case of primarily hetero girls, who obviously fantasize about Angelina Jolie more than Andrea Dworkin.

    Roissy was right about most lezzies being ugly. Smoking hot lesbians have got to be rare at best, since what makes them hot (high estrogen) isn’t going to make them desire women. It seems the ultimate gay fantasy is the same for both sexes who have any attraction to members of their sex: the object of their desire is very masculine or feminine in both appearance and manner.

    In line with the old joke of “If I were a woman, I’d stay home and play with my breasts all day,” I’d like to have two superpowers: the power to morph into a smoking 10 female at will, and to read minds. I would then proceed to lasoo endless bi-curious women, the ones who would be willing to visit the other side if the bi pursuing her was a grinning, uber-confident 11.

    Like


  38. Thoughts:

    1 – If this isn’t some kind of joke (my guess), you are hiding a hideous secret. Do you have a cock and we just got an email from Boy George? Does your ass release clouds of flaming, gaseous sulfuric composites during sex? I’ve read more implausible things, but most of them were written by Hunter S. Thompson.

    2 – My take is this – she wants the attention, wants to know she has the power to break you up from your girlfriend, and doesn’t want to fuck you. You know what verbally confirming attraction is? That’s when she’s got her lips wrapped around your cock and you can’t hear what she’s trying to say because it all comes out jumbled. That’s verbally confirming attraction. Either make a hard play to hit it, or drop it.

    3 – No comment; chicks who dig other chicks are a waste of space from my self-absorbed perspective on life.

    4 – E-Mail with chicks only works if you are one hell of an edgy, seriously talented writer. If you couldn’t get your shit published, don’t bother. If you can, you might have something, but I doubt many of us are the Malcolm Fucking Gladwell of email. Other mediums of communication (phone, text, throwing rocks with notes wrapped around them) will probably work better, unless you hit her in the head with the rock.

    Though some chicks are probably into that.

    Like


  39. David Alexander had to buy a text messaging plan for his phone due to his non-date girlfriend’s text messaging addiction.

    Like


  40. on November 22, 2008 at 3:08 pm ironrailsironweights

    For today’s viewing delight, here’s a woman who’s not going to win any beauty contests, but proudly sports a GNP. I’d take her any day over a “10” who has a hideous pedophilic Bald Eage.

    Peter

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  41. Hate to jump in here off-topic,but if it aint too much trouble,I need some help. May I ‘splain? I am trying to make that long trek from Omega to alpha. I have bought a group of PUA books. Louis & Copeland,/Mystery/Tony Clinks Layguide/Inner Psycho by Brett Tate/ and a few books and tapes on NLP and self confidence. Any suggetsions????? I plan to get the Roosh book,if I can spare the dough—I’m sure it wont be cheap. yes I have a crummy job,am fat,and have lots of “issues”. But still I am considered goodlooking by some–I have been hit on by young mexican chicks,but not the “hotties’ i crave. I am white. I am older than I should be for doing this. Any help would be appreciated from you guys,who are getting the poon!! Me? I have a polyester t-shirt that I masturbate into! 😦

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  42. Cannon’s,

    Got it. Thanks for the heads up.

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  43. Cannon, I’m sorry but in order for someone to get a finger in while you’re laying on your back, you have to open up.

    …says the kinky warpig.

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  44. Girls prefer talking on the phone because it’s easier that way for them to tease out any crippling beta flaws you might have.

    Paranoid much?

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  45. Cannon’s Canon
    so i started cranking that souljah boy while she two-fingered my asshole

    DEAD

    *crawls into coffin*

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  46. Honey, if anyone who posts here sleeps in a coffin I don’t think it’s you.

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  47. Anton,

    The point is not what they like. The point is what works to get into their pants.

    If email = not getting laid, then don’t use email. It’s not rocket science.

    That’s like saying “Fuck what the girl wants, I like to dress up like a clown and then strap a dolphin-shaped sculpture over my cock, and if the girl doesn’t like that, too fucking bad for her.”

    And too fucking bad for you when you’re jerking off with a vaseline-covered dolphin sculpture for the 9,000th night in a row.

    Keep in mind there is a major difference between giving a girl what she wants because you are beta, and doing what works to get her naked and getting what you want.

    Like


  48. There are attractive, feminine bi Latinas in DC. I know, I have fucked a few. Contestant #3 is either not looking very hard or in denial.
    Tip: Some of them don’t admit it right away due to the Catholic thing.

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  49. Jackson,

    So you would “dress up like a clown and then strap a dolphin-shaped sculpture over your cock” to get laid? Hmm, maybe a phone call every now and then wouldn’t be so bad….

    Like