Designer Vaginas

So it seems that aging women, all too aware of the loss of sexual power accompanying their fading youth and unable to accept their inevitable decline, are turning the surgeon’s scalpel to their private parts.  At the risk of losing sensitivity they are chopping away at the low-hanging hammocks their vulvas have become.

Known as elective genitoplasty, the surgery usually entails shortening or changing the shape of the outer lips, or labia, but may also include reduction in the hood of skin covering the clitoris or shortening the vagina itself.

Just like other types of plastic surgery, they’ll probably go too far until the vagina looks like a mannequin cat.

Men, however, do not usually want the size of their genitals reduced for such reasons.

Scientists are baffled.

Patients who sought genitoplasty “uniformly” wanted their vulvas to be flat and with no protrusion, similar to the prepubescent look of girls in Western fashion ads, they found.

One piece of advice, ladies.  Don’t fuck with the camel toe.  (Snark alert: “Prepubescent” is bittercode for “youthful”.)

Wizard sleeve enthusiasts are up in arms:

It is the negative meaning that makes it into a problem — meanings that can give rise to physical, emotional and behavioural reactions, such as discomfort, self-disgust, perhaps avoidance of some activities and a desire for a surgical fix.

Yes, right, negative meaning.  That’s the ticket.  Maybe older women and the betas who go down on them just think adolescently smooth, tight vulvas look prettier than wrinkled, floppy bologna slices?  Everything else on a young woman looks better than the older version of herself, so why would vaginas be exempt from this natural law?  Gravity and cell senescence don’t give the genitalia a pass.  These modern day Puritans need to stop badgering people for their decisions to delay the horrors of aging as long as possible with the tools of science.

I figure most of the nip/tucking is being done to older vaginas that have suffered one too many blows — childbirth, piercings, repeated slammings by large cocks, vibrator overuse — and now flap like bedsheets hung to dry in the spring breeze.  Since I stopped dating women less than 5 years younger than me once I reached my late 20s, I can only go by the mature porn I watch religiously to satisfy my secret fetish for things that gross me out to the point of seizure.  And old cooze is not a pretty sight.  Obese women with grossly distended vulva may be getting their vaginas refashioned, but if that’s the case, if I were their plastic surgeon I would tell them to concentrate on other parts of the body first, like the parts that are actually seen by people.

Young women with genetically oversized labia might be availing themselves of this procedure as well, but their numbers must be few in comparison to the older patients.  There is a lot of variance in the shape and size of the young pussy, but it’s the kind of variance that is still pleasing to the eye.  I feel bad for the girl who is way outside the norm in labial aesthetics for her age group.  It’s like having what could’ve been a sexy mole right *on* the lip instead of slightly above it.





Comments


  1. on November 22, 2010 at 4:20 pm Ascending Alpha

    First!!!!

    Like