Yuppie Child Substitute Part 2

I was walking down the street when I crossed paths with a woman in her mid-30s pushing a stroller with tinted mesh over the top to protect her child from the sun and bugs.  Here’s something you don’t see everyday in the city, I thought.  A smiling mother and her baby. As she passed, I looked in the stroller… to see a toy dog staring back at me, oblivious to its elevated status as a newly minted member of homo sapiens.

I didn’t have my camera with me to record this beautiful metaphor of barren yuppie womb, though it looked like this:

“tell mommy you love her!”

I believe this is one of the signs of the apocalypse.


  1. People like that should be taken out back and shot. They’re making the rest of us look bad.


  2. I guess these women need to treat their pets like people, otherwise how will they justify the annual supply of peanut butter used for crotch licking inducement while they sleep with their pet. Can’t do that with a real baby.


  3. I just cackled out loud at my desk. That is obscene.


  4. I guess that I can no longer cart my extra-teeny, teacup chihuahua – Princess Hello Kitty Pom-Pom McGee – around in my Kate Spade Baby Bjorn. And I just spent $875 on matching booties for she and I.

    I don’t understand the world today.