Bad Date

How a man and woman describe the same bad date.

Man

she kept talking about herself… she talked about the most boring shit… when she blabbed about her ex i tried to change the subject… her left tit was smaller… her breath stank… her ass was kinda flat… i put my arm around her waist to check for rolls and she’s got a little muffin top… she turned her face at the last second when i went for the kiss, i hate when a chick plays coy… i just want to bang her and get it out of the way, then we can get to know each other…

Woman

he kept talking about himself… he wasn’t listening to me at all… he kept interrupting me when i asked about his dating history, god he’s got so much baggage!… he was staring at my boobs… his shoes were scuffed… i caught him checking out my ass, he was so obvious… he got too touchy-feely when he put his arm around me… he tried to kiss me and i could see it coming a mile away, his timing is so bad… i just want to get to know a guy before i sleep with him…





Comments


  1. human irony at its finest

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  2. Opposites attract.

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  3. she turned her face at the last second when i went for the kiss

    When I used to date this was a clear sign to me that a girl isn’t physically attracted to me and probably never will be.

    On exception would be if the girl is from a religious or conservative background but gives other cues of her attraction to me, like bright eyes.

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  4. First date kisses send the wrong message to a a girl/woman who wants to get to know a guy/man before they get intimate. Rising hormones make a woman lose whatever rationality she may have. Let’s face it; kissing is intimate. I mean, can we agree on that? It could also mean she’s not attracted to him of course. If as a rule she doesn’t kiss on first dates, maybe she should just tell him. Of course who is direct these days?

    Saw an attractive man last night and wanted to flirt but realize I am now terrified of the whole process.

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  5. I lol’d. I can’t wait till this devolves into a 50 post discussion about evo psych.

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  6. Learn to dance.

    “Dancing is one of those things that can either greatly enhance or totally destroy your chances to score depend on how good you are at it. Many guys would actually be better off just standing around trying to look cool, if the alternative is dancing badly. Women treat dancing as a form of “safe sex””

    http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Guide_to_Social_Activity/Body_Language

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  7. How about… she’s thinking, hmm, he didn’t have much muscle tone when I touched his arm… has a little pouch under the t-shirt… nasal hair coming out of nostril…

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  8. Fantastic… Very amusing and very true.

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  9. bridget said:

    Learn to dance.

    I’ve achieved some results from latin + ballroom dancing, especially salsa. When you are a skinny white guy, this type of dancing is better than trying to do the normal hiphop/club dancing. You also get to meet some different types of women.

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  10. Hey! I wasn’t that obvious when I checked out her ass. She’s making that up!

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  11. 11 PatrickH, if it makes you feel better, women are checking out guys asses and crotches all the time, but are not getting caught. Because we have better peripheral vision we’re able to see more without moving our heads. On the other hand, men get busted because they have to move their heads.

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