The Fundamentals

There is so much pickup information available now that it’s easy to lose sight of the fundamentals that govern sexual tension and attraction between men and women. When the information cascade overwhelms it begins to pull you away from what works, and what has always worked for you. Consequently, over-analysis can hinder your spiritual growth as a womanizer. That is why it is vital to step back every so often, ignore the steady stream of advice, and return to a few golden, immutable laws of attraction that will never go out of style.

The one fundamental to which I always return, and has never failed to reward me as expected, is this:

Women cannot resist the aloof and indifferent man.

Of all the compulsions hard-wired in a female’s hindbrain, this one is etched deeper and more enduringly. Every woman, to a greater or lesser degree, feels the burn of lust and the agony of love for a man who projects a “take it or leave it” attitude.

Note that aloof and indifferent doesn’t mean haughty, distant or uninterested. It means disinterested. It means that while you may love her and flatter her and soothe her and give her gifts, underlying it all is an attitude that tells her “I can walk if necessary, and find someone new.”

It may seem counterproductive for a woman to respond so favorably to a man exhibiting this attitude, but the evolution of human sociosexuality offers an explanation: an aloof man is indirectly advertising his skill at seducing women. Such a man will give a woman sons who will inherit his ladykiller genes. Conversely, a man who gloms onto a woman may as well be holding a placard that says “My celibacy is nigh!”. He has no confidence that should his girlfriend or wife misbehave, or leave him, he will be able to find another woman’s bossom for comfort.

And really, that’s what all this talk by women about valuing “confidence” in men means; what women are really saying is that they value men who could dump them on a whim and get with new women easily. Men who can do this are filled with the kind of confidence that turns women on.

The aloof and indifferent attitude can be expressed reactively or proactively, deliberately or passively. She senses it when other women flirt with you and you refuse to act ashamed for it. You don’t rub your desirability to competitor women in her face, but neither do you downplay it.

She senses it when she is the first to say “I love you”, after many months of eager — but ultimately unfulfilled — anticipation on her part for you to say it first.

She senses it when you occasionally pepper your relationship with unexplained absences.

She senses it when you hang out with guy friends who are known players.

She senses it when you drag your feet about going on expensive trips together.

She senses it when you are the first to hop out of bed after climax.

She senses it when your exes are always bumping into you.

She senses it when you announce that you don’t understand guys like her male friend who can only play video games when his girlfriend is not around to castigate him, and when you then proudly and defiantly proclaim you value your “freedom and independence” too much to be like that guy.

She senses it when a half-assed microwaved meal that you cooked for the both of you means more to her than a four course dinner slaved over for hours in the kitchen by a beta would mean to her.

She senses it when you set the bar so low, it becomes a challenge to disappoint her.

The fundamentals. Be aloof. Be indifferent. Be loving.

Do these three things and you will never be lacking for a woman’s eternally grateful love.





Comments


  1. This is absolutely the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

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  2. fucking gods words

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  3. Crap I didn’t make the nerdy “first” comment. hehe

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  4. on November 29, 2010 at 1:28 pm Ari Hinkelberger

    It’s a sad fucking world out there when the only way you can keep the pussy happy is by ignoring it and treating it like shit.

    So much for deep and abiding love.

    Women are totally fucked in the head.

    Like


  5. Funny that what produces aloofness as a side affect – purpose, engagement, presence in the world and in our lives to as full an extent as possible – is what we must simulate.

    Liked by 1 person


  6. No woman can resist the “take it or leave it” atitude. This is money!

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  7. She senses it when you don’t keep a picture of her in your wallet. This one has always irked my girlfriends and still bugs my wife.

    Important to the ploy is that I always *intend* to put a picture there (never make a big deal about not wanting her picture,) I just never get around to it.

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  8. modernguy,

    Aloofness and indifference are good game because they are achievable by a conscious effort. But like many other game techniques, they are evolutionary mimicry of something harder to achieve, taking advantage of shortcuts in the female attraction circuits (which exist because women compete with each other and identifying a high value male faster than other women do is advantageous if there are other factors making mimicry unlikely).

    Aloofness and indifference are only effective if they make a man appear to have higher value — so there has to be a context where other women are theoretically available. But even more effective is direct evidence of attractiveness to other women, that kind of preselection trumps the indirect message that aloof indifference conveys. And other direct DHVs also trump it.

    But it’s still part of the “fundamentals” because as a technique it is easy and effective.

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  9. It’s definitely important to develop the abundance mindset of being able to walk away at any given moment to find another girl.

    IMO this is the top 3, if not THE most important mindset in the game…

    However, I see a lot of guys who are like “Yeah, you’re right, I should be indifferent. That’ll get em’.”

    Then you see them approaching a whopping ZERO woman all night, not stepping up, not leading, etc.

    So I think it’s important for new guys coming at this to understand that although you should be aloof and indifferent this should NOT be in the expense of not taking action, showing your intent, being a man.

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  10. I appreciate the distinction between uninterested and disinterested. Totally true.

    And yes, I just looked up the two words in the dictionary to make sure there was actually a distinction. There, I admit it.

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  11. Your recent tweet

    “You are a player when memories of most of your past lovers swirl into a nameless, faceless apparition. Be thankful for the few who don’t.”

    This is another subtle thing she senses.

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  12. Women don’t want a Man to cheat, but they love a Man who could cheat.

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  13. Since “indifference” creates alot of confusion between the mindset of able to find another women if needed and never taking action because he was trying to be”aloof.” Can another way to view Roissy’s point is taking a girl for granted or stop walking on eggshells? Taking things for granted means willingness to question the value of expensive trips, willingness to not have to explain of ever absence, or openly celebrate the freedom to play video games and etc.

    Right line of thought?

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  14. living next to or in NYC is manna from heaven. I am better impromptu.. but something like this…

    “I love you, but this has to end. there are a million 20 year old [insert age slight younger] girls in NYC dying for a decent guy.”

    the dump threat coupled with a triple neg: age neg, neg on her ability to find a decent guy (competitive sexual market against younger women), neg on her failure to smell the roses and to instead chase off a decent guy- relationship skills.

    the last rear guard defense against the daily shit test.

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  15. Was out watching the Rangers in the world series for the first time ever, and a random young drunk girl gets up from her table and notices my alpha body language, and gives me the old elevator eyes. My girlfriend notices this and says, “she was blatantly flirting with you!” I just dismissively replied, “Oh yeah. Girls do that all the time.”

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  16. Disinterested means impartial i.e. a disinterested third party moderated the debate. Uninterested means indifferent.

    [Editor: Not in this context. i.e., disinterest to outcomes, but interest in the process.]

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  17. Aloofness and indifference has been a key cog to my game for years – it’s gold.

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  18. Nice one Schmoe, you’ve signaled that you’re either a novice at being popular with girls, or exaggerating. Expect more tests.

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  19. Tony Ryan is also correct. I have used aloofness for what I call recovery game; I may have failed to generate the required attraction enough when deciding to go for the digits, and the girl was caught off guard or said no for whatever reason. I then switch right over to aloof game, appearing unaffected. I usually then keep every interaction after that cheerful and friendly, but with the underlying tone of not giving a crap. You’d be surprised what appearing unaffected in that situation can accomplish to turn things around.

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  20. Nope. It’s not aloofness.

    The # 1 fundamental is making her perceive that she got lucky. And this is true of both short and long term goals.

    If a girl is truly “all that” …your options do matter, but so does how you stack up to hers… real or imagined.

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  21. bossom

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  22. @Ari – “it’s a sad fucking world out there when the only way you can keep the pussy happy is by ignoring it and treating it like shit.”

    So wrong. This post was not about ignoring OR about treating her like shit. It’s about a woman knowing her man is desirable by others and has options. A man who’ll treat me like shit until he gets the next girl is in my life for maybe five minutes. The man who gets my attention does so because I know he can get other girls but chooses to be with me and I know he’s happy he made that choice. I’m also aware that the situation can change, and it makes me more interested and more pleasing to him.

    Men have to believe they have choices and options however, pretending is see through to us.

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  23. November 29, 2010 by Chateau

    There is so much pickup information available now that it’s easy to lose sight of the fundamentals…

    If complex concepts are like, way too diff, for today’s reader, what can simplifying down to See Dick Run do to ease their lesson?

    If, on the the other hand, it’s done as a re-cap for the wise, then I am for it.

    Like


  24. on November 29, 2010 at 3:44 pm pterodactyl guano

    “purpose, engagement, presence in the world and in our lives to as full an extent as possible – is what we must simulate.”

    Or, even better, actually have “purpose, engagement, presence in the world,” which not only makes chicks dig you, but is a better way to live, anyway.

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  25. “This post was not about ignoring OR about treating her like shit. It’s about a woman knowing her man is desirable by others and has options. ”

    yeah i didn’t interpret this post like that either. it seems pretty right on…and aloofness definitely works for both short and long term stuff. there are, of course, lots of other ways to show that you are desirable/have options.

    this does on the whole seem to be a great way to spark a girl’s interest without coming off as a red flag womanizer. and it helps if you don’t have a lot of money too so yeah. totally agree–good post

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  26. your posts make me have a great disdain for woman

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  27. mschro

    this does on the whole seem to be a great way to spark a girl’s interest without coming off as a red flag womanizer.

    you poor dear. you must have been womanized a lot

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  28. So wrong. This post was not about ignoring OR about treating her like shit

    Damn if it ain’t. What do you think a “half-assed microwaved meal” is? Poor treatment is definitely required, but should not be overdone.

    [Editor: Hey, a half-assed microwaved meal is good treatment compared to no home-cooked meal at all.
    You, sir (or madam), need perspective. And a hyperbole radar.]

    Treating her like shit makes two things happen.

    1. Sends a very strong message to her that you have other options.
    2. Makes her appreciate the “niceness” through contrast.

    Good cop/Bad cop in the same Cop is critical.

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  29. Tariq Nasheed as bought the rights and rereleased the book “BLack players: secret underworld of black pimps” (1972)

    I’m halfway through and the book has TONS of game.

    I urge you all to check it out at Amazon or a local library.

    http://www.amazon.com/Black-Players-Secret-World-Pimps/dp/0983104905/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1291064549&sr=1-1

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  30. Firepower,

    Actually I haven’t had problems with that but I have seen it a little with a few friends. if i had been i probs would be trolling the shit out of this blog all bitterly or whatever

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  31. I’m still thinking about the BA, BI, BL. What if being loving means NOT being aloof, and Not being indifferent. Doesn’t it depend on the situation?

    “She senses it when you are the first to hop out of bed after climax.”

    My legs are wrapped around him sooo tight..he can’t get away!!!hehehhe!! NOOOOOO way!!! ha!

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  32. mschro

    Firepower,

    Actually I haven’t had problems with that but I have seen it a little with a few friends. if i had been i probs would be trolling the shit out of this blog all bitterly or whatever

    your friends
    sound kind of interesting

    Like


  33. “She senses it when a half-assed microwaved meal that you cooked for the both of you means more to her than a four course dinner slaved over for hours in the kitchen by a beta would mean to her.”

    It better be chicken…I like chicken. He gets points just for TRYING to cook!

    Like


  34. @Todd – “your posts make me have a great disdain for woman”

    Todd my guess is you already had a great deal of disdain for women, you’ve been burned. Our esteemed host has a lot of opinions but my guess he honestly enjoys the hell out of some women – that’s the point of Game – enjoy the ‘softer sex’ without torturing yourself by getting hurt.

    I’m here to understand men better, it doesn’t make me hate y’all. You have an opportunity to get inside women’s heads and learn how to have more pleasure without the drama, but unless you decide to give up women for men – you might as well accept that we’re different and use it to your advantage.

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  35. A cardinal rule in relationships: Whoever cares less, holds the most power.

    expansion to that rule: Men are meant to be the dominant sex. So when a man is more dependent on his girlfriend than she is dependent on him, he creates an unnatural dynamic.

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  36. Editor: Hey, a half-assed microwaved meal is good treatment compared to no home-cooked meal at all.
    You, sir (or madam), need perspective. And a hyperbole radar.

    Lol. But I thought for sure you were gonna go for… feeding at all is “good” treatment”

    You’re getting old!

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  37. If I meet a girl, I have to make the move. I have to ask her for her number or to go out. how the hell do I do this while being indifferent or aloof?

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  38. I watched a kid today with awesome game. He’s a latte-puller at my local coffee bar, probably makes $300 a week if the tips are good. He’s about five feet tall and skinny, with a weird beard that looks like a carpet swatch glued to his face.

    And he’s awesome. He’s calm-faced and laid-back, but somehow winds up talking to every female customer under 30. He teases them, he manages to mention he’s in a band — and he doesn’t even try to close while “on duty” in the shop. But when he happens to go outside for his smoke break, slips of paper get exchanged.

    I know a sensei when I see one.

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  39. wow Trimegistus, that reminds me I watched the Karate Kid again recently and the karate kid Dan had great game with that one girl. even though he got beaten up all the time in front of her, nothing fazed him. and he acted pretty aloof towards her too. Jack I should watch the karate kid–that guy had a nice balance of aloof/interested towards the girl character.

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  40. Excellent timing CR.

    *She* was becoming unmanageable. I basically told her to fly right or fuck off…I was aloof and indifferent albeit quite loving.

    She’s sent me several texts since and I can practically sense her panties getting wetter with each successive message.

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  41. on November 29, 2010 at 5:17 pm Johnycomelately

    Rules, techniques, sets, psych, behavioural science, approaches, blow outs, alpha projection…..wait I’m still writting, have I missed anything…..

    You know what? Phuck it, I’ll be in my cloistered abbey whittling, let someone else play with the succubi and carry on the flame of ‘civilization’.

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  42. on November 29, 2010 at 5:17 pm Gunslingergregi

    ””’It better be chicken…I like chicken. He gets points just for TRYING to cook!””””’

    Oh god no not another cook!!

    I will be the last man on earth who doesn’t do anything in the house and I am cool with that.

    But yea it is about you don’t care if you split but you do enjoy the time together.

    he he he

    So indiferent I don’t even care if I live or die.

    Why not caring if you die is maximum indiference.
    There is no hold she can have on you no power higher than death.
    There is nothing she can hold above you and you are all powerfull.
    Or something like that.
    he he he

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  43. Roissy, I’m glad you’re discussing this brah….

    Many sites I go to all claim ” be an asshole, be this…be that”. But I have to say, a girl won’t simply hop into your bed just by you being…aloof…towards her.

    Correct me If I’m wrong, but this sounds like something you do when you already have the girl around, not when you’re trying to get with the girl.

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  44. “She senses it when she is the first to say “I love you”, after many months of eager — but ultimately unfulfilled — anticipation on her part for you to say it first.”

    The Man gives The Woman his LOVE, The Woman gives The Man her POWER; for The Woman to give The Man her love is as much a violation of healthy heterosexuality as if The Man were to give The Woman his power.

    Like


  45. on November 29, 2010 at 5:44 pm Obstinance Works

    @The Gun Slinger

    **So indiferent assured I don’t even care if I live or die.**

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  46. I do have one question that pertains to not just this blog entry, but most of them…

    When do we stop gaming chicks?

    I think I met a woman (15 years younger than me, no less!) with whom I think I’d like to have kids.

    I’m 39.

    Being aloof and using all the techniques I’ve learned here have been fantastic. Now what?

    Truthfully, I WOULD like to start exhibiting some beta-behaviors! I DO enjoy lying on a chick’s breast. I WOULD enjoy a lot of cooking for her. etc etc.

    Playing the Alpha Game is wonderful, and has served me well! (Luckily, most of it comes natural to me, as I have been a born leader since grade school.)

    I am just wondering if I must play these games forever…?

    At 40, methinks it’s time to start thinking about kidlets, no???

    I’d hate for her to stick around just because I am spinning her hamster wheel.

    …So, does it ever stop??!!

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  47. aoefe,

    It will be your privilege to…..

    …..(wait for it, wait for it)…..

    Detox my buttox.

    -GB

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  48. on November 29, 2010 at 6:25 pm Gunslingergregi

    Yea I am not really indiferent.

    Otherwise it would be easier.

    Like


  49. on November 29, 2010 at 6:26 pm Vincent Ignatius

    That attitude comes with having game.

    When you first start developing game, you don’t have a steady stream of pussy and so aloofness has to be faked.

    Then you get to the point that you’re banging a couple girls at the same time, but if you lose one, then your game suffers with the one you have left.

    But finally you reach a stage at which you always have a booty call you can call on, and then a stage at which you know that even if you lost all your girls and booty calls, your game is strong enough to find new girls.

    At this stage, even if you’re only dating one girl, you maintain your aloof aura because you know you can go back to the same cafe you found her in and bag a new beaver.

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  50. on November 29, 2010 at 6:30 pm Gunslingergregi

    ””””””I WOULD enjoy a lot of cooking for her”””””

    Don’t do it.

    Don’t do it.

    Don’t do it.

    AND

    Don’t do it.

    Also don’t cook for her.

    Unless you plan wearing the dress.

    Then hey it is all good lol

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  51. Hmm, well in my experience this has and has not worked. It got me a fuck buddy out of a girl disgusted with my prior chump ways, but that’s all.

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  52. on November 29, 2010 at 6:34 pm Gunslingergregi

    WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE COOKING?

    Is there something I missed?

    Is that what they teach in college or something?

    A man needs to cook for the woman?

    I just don’t get the number of dudes cooking for a woman.

    Is there some popular tv show I have missed that portrayed it as somehow cool to be making some fantastic fabulas meals for your woman?

    Really what happened?

    When I was born I knew cooking and washing dishes and shit was woman’s work.
    Nobody taught me that shit.
    It was instinctual.

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  53. on November 29, 2010 at 6:38 pm Gunslingergregi

    Are guys picking out curtains and shit too to match the fucking coach lol

    Woman know I need them but at the same time I can get another chick to do what they do.

    I am a full time career all by myself.

    You must let them feel needed.

    If you cook and clean and work and pay the bills then all she bringing is pussy then you are fucking up.

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  54. on November 29, 2010 at 6:39 pm Gunslingergregi

    Also you should not even know how to spell coach lol

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  55. on November 29, 2010 at 6:40 pm Gunslingergregi

    Got to be female posters plants talking about cooking for woman to make it seem normal or some shit.

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  56. Well said. I have realized that my so-called non-chalance/aloofness is the ticket in the pick-up game…

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  57. on November 29, 2010 at 6:54 pm StrikeForceMorituri

    This post is probably the truest axiom I have read in quite a while. When used with true aplomb the rewards are truly plentiful.

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  58. http://www.slate.com/id/2276066/

    Apparently it’s important for women talk about their feelings if you want them to accurately calculate the energy of a proton moving at 0.9c. And here I was thinking that you just needed a graphing calculator.

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  59. Reading through comments on this site is like walking through a field hospital for the wounded, sad. The greatest men around here are people like vincent ignatius – who, though he is crippled, has learned to walk, even kick a ball around on a good day and has convinced himself that hey, for a cripple, I’m doing alright! And all the other hopeless cripples lying in their beds look to him for inspiration. But at the end of the day, after you meticulously and systematically build your harem, you might find that something is missing, somehow it’s a bit hollow. What’s missing, and what eludes self-satisfied cynics like CR, is love.

    [Editor: Cynicism and love are not incompatible. Think outside the bullocks.]

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  60. LOL! Great replies! Just checking!!

    It’s not that I LIKE cooking, per se, but in my old beta-days, I managed to get many chicks hooked, and I still left a rather large trail of broken hearts.

    It was just neat having her come over, with chill music; chill vibe; steak/salad/veggies/wine all set up for her. This always seem to have worked for me.

    Being who I am, girls KNEW there was a near-endless stream of pussy for me, so perhaps that TRUMPED my cooking, etc. etc.

    By the way, I meant GRILLING, not COOKING in my post! LOL!

    I am all for the game. I am all for negging women. I am all for emphasizing my alpha attributes. Being aloof does work.

    I was just wondering, now that I am like 40, and met an awesome chick who could seriously make some excellent babies, will I finally be able to do more than reheat TV dinners; and what not!?!?!

    To date, I don’t think any long-term girlfriend has EVER dumped me on my ass, and I always did shit like that for them. I ALWAYS get bored first.

    I am going to have to ponder this for a bit….!!!

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  61. Even though I’ve been immersed in this pick up business for past 8-9 years, I still managed to be a complete snatch in my last (and only) LTR. I was that guy…so try hard, nice guy, well behaved, obsessed, jealous, emotional, pussy-whipped. Almost make me sick thinking about it—I have no idea what was going over me.

    Next chick I met…a bangin’ SoCal blonde. I never cleaned my place when she came over (she’s a total neat-freak interior decorator), maybe ordered some pizza and beer if she came over (I’ve taken her out twice in 3 months…maybe a total of $150 spent), had her pick me up all the time, never even apologized for being late, not pouring my heart out over every little thing I feel, let her catch me hitting on other girls, talk filthy during sex, tell her offensive jokes, never call/text. That said..I have never been mean or mistreated her once. She’s always happy.

    You’ve never seen a happier girl when she’s with me…just gawking and staring all googly eyed the whole damn time.

    This is Gospel. If you think otherwise, think otherwise again.

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  62. “…So, does it ever stop??!!”

    Actually … No.

    Well yes … when you die.

    But then you can still game them retrospectively by what you left behind.

    Like


  63. Girls do this all the time and it’s what creates “one-itis”. The girl who is always available then suddenly flakes suddenly becomes a “challenge” to men.

    Also, the deeper I begin to understand “game” the more I begin to see how girls are doing this all the time.

    When you stop accommodating their mood swings and find other things to do other than be available to them, their first reaction is to go into the various stages of grief:

    Denial: This guy can’t possibly be ignoring me.

    Anger: Fuck him I’ll find someone else…dick!

    Push-pull/shit test: this is where they make contact of some kind to see whether you bite.

    Pleading: begging you to get back together.

    Disappearance: when you accommodate, they flake.

    I think it’s vital to recognize this dynamic and maintain your own frame.

    It’s hard. But if you think longer term rather than short-term pussy it serves you well.

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  64. She senses it when a half-assed microwaved meal that you cooked for the both of you means more to her than a four course dinner slaved over for hours in the kitchen by a beta would mean to her.
    ———
    Yes.

    WRT cooking, there are a lot of TV chef personalities that do the alpha Male thing. It works if you are the head chef screaming obscenities at the help (Gordon Ramsay) or a famous dude (Bobby Flay, Jamie Oliver). Every other guy, it is the mark of a Kitchen Bitch. Don’t do it. Ever.

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  65. I guess I will defer to you guys on the cooking thing but since I have lived by myself for a long time I find that I am a better cook than many women. Unless I want to eat garbage all the time somebody has to be footing the bill for constant meals out.
    How about buying the groceries and then instructing them to cook me meals with the ingredients I stock?

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  66. How the fuck do you teach the bitch to cook anyway?

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  67. Gunslingergregi, If I wire you around $800 to your paypal or whatever, will you promise never to comment on this blog again? No new names or anything either!

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  68. The girl is entering your world, on your terms. You have abundance.

    The term aloof is a shorthand for the above. It is not shorthand for indifference. You are into her. She thrills you. You look at her with lust.

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  69. I cook for myself. If a girl happens to be in the room when its served then she’s welcome to share. If she complains then she’s welcome to make her own meal. If she won’t help clean up afterward then her shit stays in a bag outside the front door and she walks home.
    You don’t have to treat girls badly, just treat them as well as they deserve. I’ve yet to meet a girl with a solid gold pussy, though they seem to act like it.

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  70. Cooking for a girl is OK, as long as you’ve already done her, so long as you’re doing it for the pleasure of it, and not by way of apology or supplication.

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  71. It’s exciting just watching him caress the chicken’s thighs, wings, breasts etc…. lol!!!! You CAN incorporate this into your repertoire of game! seeee, be creative!! sigh…..

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  72. Duxbury

    “I love you, but this has to end. there are a million 20 year old [insert age slight younger] girls in NYC dying for a decent guy.”

    Sometimes it comes to that. The girl hasn’t been taking your hints, and hasn’t taken to heart in earnest the importance of serving you.

    So you remind her – even push in her face – how much better other girls are.

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  73. Evil Alpha

    Nope. It’s not aloofness.

    The # 1 fundamental is making her perceive that she got lucky. And this is true of both short and long term goals.

    I think the reason the concept of aloofness rises my dander and bristles my hackles is due to a communication problem. It’s not a clear concept of attraction, and may not be possible to make clear. There is a problem with teaching, versus doing.

    There is a way to look at a girl. A look. A look that melts her. Where your eyes melt together.

    That’s not an aloof look.

    What is attractive is that you don’t play the game by the womans rules. But you do care about her and want her and are into her an have mutual emotions together.

    Like


  74. So let’s get this straight. A woman is attracted to man that is wanted by other women. So when the guy in fact does go after other women, he then is labeled a dog. And when a nice guy comes along, a woman scorned by one of these superior males who is attractive merely because other women want him too, takes it out on him. And what we have left is a guy who by all accounts is innocent being the real victim.

    Boy oh boy talk about running around in circles here. I get all the points written here but women better start waking up to the notion that one day they won’t be wanted by anyone. Age and time will win out so when the wrinkles and sags come gals, is your man gonna run off? Does that even register? I doubt it.

    Like


  75. Treating her like shit makes two things happen.

    1. Sends a very strong message to her that you have other options.
    2. Makes her appreciate the “niceness” through contrast.

    Good cop/Bad cop in the same Cop is critical.

    I spent many years (decades) as a heavy drinker, and had a few small mini-strokes. Plus I have chronic generalized inflamation, which includes the nerves and the brain. So my emotions aren’t as controlled by my frontal lobes as they used to be. I can run hot and cold very fast.

    I have found this to be to my advantage.

    Like


  76. on November 29, 2010 at 10:49 pm Logic = Anti-Game

    I like xsplat’s style. It’s all about INTENSITY.

    Like


  77. Jack I

    If I meet a girl, I have to make the move. I have to ask her for her number or to go out. how the hell do I do this while being indifferent or aloof?

    You don’t. It’s a communication error. The author both misinterprets what is causing his success, and miscommunicates what is causing his success.

    However there is something that is causing his success, and he is doing his best to communicate it, and he is a great communicator.

    Like


  78. Re: Kitchen Game

    In general I would say to run from putting on an apron and acting pissy about the browning of somekind of vegtable sauce.
    But that chef/writer dude Anthony Burdoin is so obviously a hero-of-poon. If you are that smart and write & explicate as well as he does you could wear a fuckin pink tutu and be seen breast-feeding a child and still pull it.
    Read his “Kitchen Confidential” It rocks on so many levels.
    The usually unspoken premise of free-range gaming is that females are highly interchangeable. One is pretty much the same as another, otherwise, there are downsides with this plan.
    Fortunately(or unfortunately) that is mostly true, especially after their 3rd orgasm.
    LTRs are not impossible, just don’t over estimate the extent of the variablity of the genetically installed pussy-activation module – which they share fully with female baboons and alley cats.

    Like


  79. Demi-rogue

    but women better start waking up to the notion that one day they won’t be wanted by anyone.

    This is thespearhead.com lament.

    Don’t hold your breath.

    Like


  80. Rather than thinking about being aloof, think in terms of personal abundance and selfish insistence on doing things your way, even at the expense of the girls feelings.

    Aloof doesn’t enter into it.

    You simply don’t much care about her drama about not getting her way, and you clearly have a rich full life and lots of options.

    Like


  81. The Man gives The Woman his LOVE, The Woman gives The Man her POWER; for The Woman to give The Man her love is as much a violation of healthy heterosexuality as if The Man were to give The Woman his power.

    Not sure what you are trying to say here, but if you mean that the woman becomes the man’s servant, then I agree.

    Like


  82. Hmmm “Truthfully, I WOULD like to start exhibiting some beta-behaviors! I DO enjoy lying on a chick’s breast. I WOULD enjoy a lot of cooking for her. etc etc.”

    You can do all of those on the first date. In fact, you should exhibit some beta behaviors on the first date. Maybe even especially on the first date.

    Like


  83. Truthfully, Doug1s advice for beta behaviours is the best I’ve seen. Express love and devotion, but less than she does.

    Like


  84. Roissy has it arse-about: women don’t like men who are aloof rather women like Alpha men who are aloof because they know they have high dating value. An Om3ga male can as aloof as he wants but he won’t be any more attractive to women because of it. Alpha women know men hang around them like blowflies despite her obvious disinterest in them. Om3ga women alternatively know men won’t hang around them no matter what.

    Like


  85. I’m not so sure it’s about being “aloof”, so much as coming across as totally relaxed and unreactive. That’s the holy grail of game, is to just spit game and be totally chill and relaxed about it. Though I think we’re just using different words to get to the same idea.

    Thanks for the post Roissy

    Like


  86. If you like to cook, it’s beta to not cook because you don’t want to appear beta.

    The point, the only point, is that she is there to serve you. Serve you in the ways that you want.

    If that means she is serving you by eating your cooking, fine. It’s your terms, after all.

    Expressing love is cool. It gets appreciated. Just make certain that she expresses more love than you do. Simply be socially dominant, and make all the rules, according to your personal whims.

    Like


  87. Don’t cook for a woman (even “microwave”). Huge mistake. The most my wife gets is the occasional cup of tea when I am feeling generous.

    Good LTR game can involve making your wife jealous of the attention you get from other female relatives.

    Like


  88. xsplat

    Very true. She is there to serve you. That is the traditional belief, and I think when we wander from that, we start to go wrong. You should be kind to her, but out of a position of strength, not because you are frightened not to be kind.

    She should work for you. There is a female blogger who says that she should treat you at least as well as she would her boss at work (plus sex for you of course). I have my wife trained to say “please”, “thank you” and “may I”.

    Like


  89. I like to cook sometimes, but personally feel better loved if the woman takes it as her duty to feed me.

    Love is physical, after all.

    Like


  90. “this does on the whole seem to be a great way to spark a girl’s interest without coming off as a red flag womanizer.”

    god it cracks me up how women try to have their cake and eat it too. oh, so he should be desirable to other women but not a womanizer? the whole womanizing part would really, truly put you off, huh? *coughs* sure. whatever you say toots.

    Like


  91. Cooking for her can be a massive DHV. Just like bachelor-pad accoutrements, it should be a glimpse of how much better your single life is than hers. Keep your knives sharp and know how to use them. Have her chop vegetables for you: show her how if you have to. You’ll get to see right away if she’s a miserable cunt about taking orders. They do all seem to be used to using dull pieces of stamped metal to meticulously shred instead of chop or cut. If you’re real hung up on sex role stuff here, don’t cook anything you couldn’t do on the grill outside.

    Anything that involves fire will give most girls the tingles: i.e. steak diane and similar flambé dishes.

    If you’re doing it right, they will start fretting about how your place is a “woman trap” or “do you do this for all the girls?”. If you’re doing it wrong it will be “no one has ever done anything like this for me before”, but then they’ll have to leave early.

    Don’t throw a dinner party.

    Like


  92. on November 30, 2010 at 11:10 am Vincent Ignatius

    To the men worried about cooking for a girl versus making her a microwave dinner, you need to chill out.

    What matters is if it comes from a place of neediness or not. If you clearly have the power in the relationship, then your girl isn’t going to go running because you cook a mean catfish. At the same time, if you’re needy and not getting pussy on the regular, making a girl a microwave dinner to show you don’t care won’t really help you seem aloof.

    As long as you are in a position of power, demonstrating that you have certain skills and interests will only elevate you more in the eyes of girls. Unless your interest is sucking dick, don’t stress over it.

    Like


  93. on November 30, 2010 at 1:40 pm pterodactyl guano

    “What matters is if it comes from a place of neediness or not.”

    Cooking like absolutely everything is about about how you do it, not what you do. Carry yourself with authority and aplomb, have command of what you are doing, do not be a servitor or supplicant. Carry your own world around with you, and the woman can be part of it on your terms, or not, you will carry on just the same.

    You are alive, so you eat, so you cook. Cooking for someone else is exactly the same as everything else you do. It is not about the cooking.

    Like


  94. on November 30, 2010 at 2:21 pm Anonymouses Anonymous

    @Roissy:
    “And really, that’s what all this talk by women about valuing “confidence” in men means; what women are really saying is that they value men who could dump them on a whim and get with new women easily. Men who can do this are filled with the kind of confidence that turns women on.”

    This is because it fills a woman’s need to feel special. Her thoughts are, “He COULD leave me for someone else, BUT he HAS NOT. That tells me that I am more valuable to him than other women.”

    This is also why shit tests are vital to women. Once they get the feeling a man is finding value in them, they will test his value in her by seeing whether the shit test destroys that value. The three results of a shit test are, 1. Failed test, she loses interest, 2. Passed Shit Test, she is interested, 3. Man decides that she is not worth trying to pass the test for and he goes to find better prey to hunt.

    Like


  95. Cooking is too important to be left to women.

    Sorry, dudes — I’m not going to eat the amateurish crap my spouse throws together just to show what a stud I am. My palate needs pleasing as much as my dick does.

    Like


  96. Tao of Steve…redux.

    Worth repeating.

    Like


  97. on November 30, 2010 at 3:43 pm French Connection

    The sentiments of cooking as a big no no are rather short sighted. As with pretty much every activity, delivery and context is key.

    For example, I used to work at a cocktailbar, and know a decent bit about spirits and cocktails. Girls swoon as I passionately tell them about the random facts, experiences and little tiny details I know as I shake them a Cosmo.

    If you can demonstrate and communicate passion for something together with a skill that produces something pretty/tasty/desirable, that’s alpha.

    The same goes for cooking.

    Even if you can’t cook for shit, simply delivering it properly (giving her directions, slapping her hand if she tastes the sauce before you do, getting her to set the table) will give you the upper alpha hand.

    Like


  98. @gunslingerregi, whom I would also pay to go away:

    “Why not caring if you die is maximum indiference.
    There is no hold she can have on you no power higher than death.
    There is nothing she can hold above you and you are all powerfull.
    Or something like that.
    he he he”

    Carlos Castaneda’s Don Juan tells a story of a petty tyrant, a man who shoots him in the chest and leaves him for dead. If that’s a petty tyrant, who is a tyrant? Death.

    Like


  99. “Do these three things and you will never be lacking for a woman’s eternally grateful love.”

    come on man. who cares about love in our times anymore?!
    it’s just about the fuck. and fuck everything else!

    Like


  100. The brain damage explains a lot.

    Like


  101. Rum said:

    But that chef/writer dude Anthony Burdoin is so obviously a hero-of-poon. If you are that smart and write & explicate as well as he does you could wear a fuckin pink tutu and be seen breast-feeding a child and still pull it.
    Read his “Kitchen Confidential” It rocks on so many levels.

    Yes, the food is the hook, but Anthony Bourdain’s persona is what gets women gaga over him. He has game in spades: is witty, intelligent, teases non-stop, has experience (in life and travel), style, openness, and is laid-back.

    Like


  102. If you enjoy cooking, then fucking COOK. Be great at whatever you enjoy doing in life, regardless of whether you think women will like it or not. What women respond to is the passion for which you live your life with or without them, whether it’s cooking or anything else. If you have that, then women will be interested sure as night follows day. That is inner game.

    Like


  103. “Ari Hinkelberger

    It’s a sad fucking world out there when the only way you can keep the pussy happy is by ignoring it and treating it like shit.

    So much for deep and abiding love.

    Women are totally fucked in the head.”

    Nah Ari. Don’t become jaded.

    It’s just that real love is trusting and it is also sufficient.

    It doesn’t spin its head like a bird for each little temporary thing.

    I believe that most investment and what “beta males” (not fond of this term; I prefer ‘alpha in becoming’) call “love” nowadays is really just done out of fear and self-preservation. Women are intuitive and good at sensing this incongruity.

    Like


  104. aoef said: “Our esteemed host has a lot of opinions but my guess he honestly enjoys the hell out of some women – that’s the point of Game – enjoy the ‘softer sex’ without torturing yourself by getting hurt.

    I’m here to understand men better, it doesn’t make me hate y’all. You have an opportunity to get inside women’s heads and learn how to have more pleasure without the drama, but unless you decide to give up women for men – you might as well accept that we’re different and use it to your advantage.”

    I say: BINGO!

    Like


  105. To cook or not to cook dude, it’s simple –

    “I’m grilling my special X tonight and I’d like you to join me. Bring the wine.”

    Like


  106. “Dreamer

    Since “indifference” creates alot of confusion between the mindset of able to find another women if needed and never taking action because he was trying to be”aloof.” Can another way to view Roissy’s point is taking a girl for granted or stop walking on eggshells? Taking things for granted means willingness to question the value of expensive trips, willingness to not have to explain of ever absence, or openly celebrate the freedom to play video games and etc.

    Right line of thought?”

    You are what you love. How about that?

    A man whose mind is filled with that which he loves is full of life, and he provides life and energy to those around him.

    And this man has so much to love that he needn’t waste his time thinking about what he doesn’t love, or negativity, or nasty things, or things going wrong… or doubts, or self-monitoring, or worrying.

    This mindset procreates itself, just like a doubting mindset reinforces itself by finding things to make its doubt ‘about’.

    In terms of this post, the message is this:

    A lover’s love is sufficient. He is not indifferent to what he loves: he is moved by, inspired by women, he approaches them, he enjoys them to the fullest. Even their darker natures and even their storms. He stands naked in the moment, unmitigated, unfiltered, and so vulnerable that he is actually invincible. He leads with his guts and his passions and drives.

    Because his love and passion is utterly sufficient, he has no need for fantasy or mask, or investment in some flat dry certainty or promise. No need for hope or faith and therefore no fear of doubt.

    He is indifferent to *loss*, and therefore fearless, and beyond measuring sticks.

    Overwritten, to be sure.. but it’s just an ideal.

    Like


  107. PS Would you believe that women when loved and opened up into their fullness are capable of discerning the above qualities through intuition?

    Contrarily, cover your woman with words and law and she will only crave release.

    Like


  108. True story.
    Some basics:

    > Alpha bodylanguage (lean back), eye contact, touching (e.g. talk about her digit ratio)
    > Openers: environmental observation
    > Don’t give a shit – indifferent to outcome
    > Tease. Everything she says is cute.
    > Venue changes
    > Psychoanalyse couples
    > Evade her questions with humour or counter-questions

    I have a question:

    Why hasn’t natural selection weeded out omegas? Why are these losers still amongst us?

    Like


  109. on November 30, 2010 at 5:27 pm Anonymouses Anonymous

    Legion, an easy to explain reason is genetics. The right combonation of genes could make someone an auto-Omega. Could be the lazy gene, the fear gene, or whatever genes make up an Omega.

    Could be parental treatment. I doubt much beyond, “This is my child” is genetically implanted. The rest has to be learned. And, the level of parental knowledge probably has more to do with the creation of Omegas than any other influence.

    Like


  110. I went down to breakfast this morning, and my wife had placed it all at the head of the table for me. She had my tea poured out ready as I like. She doesn’t work today, so she had gone back to bed.

    So I had my meal made for me, and I could eat it in peace without feminine chatter.

    Perfect. Like having a maid you can fuck.

    Like


  111. This description reminds me a lot of Russian men. In general, they appear to simultaneously embody kindness, a sensitive soul and strong sense of confidence in their capabilities and goals. The ones that do no succumb to alcoholism, anyways.

    Like


  112. on November 30, 2010 at 6:02 pm Gunslingergregi

    So the bulb explodes and electricity goes out in house at 2 in the morning or so.

    Someone borrowed ladder.

    So my woman stands on my shoulders and we do a nice little circus act and she takes out bulb and we back in business.

    Teamwork the other fundamental.

    he he he

    Like


  113. on November 30, 2010 at 6:19 pm Gunslingergregi

    I finally have haters that is what I am talking about took a while.

    he he he

    ””””’Serious
    Gunslingergregi, If I wire you around $800 to your paypal or whatever, will you promise never to comment on this blog again? No new names or anything either!
    ””””””””

    I was planning on giving 10 g’s for this blog being open so your gonna have to up that offer.

    ””””Mehcan
    How the fuck do you teach the bitch to cook anyway?
    ””””

    She has to teach herself. It is her becoming better to please you that cements the bond to an extent.
    Sure some of the stuff will be bad for a bit if she never cooked for anyone but her willingness to learn for you makes it special.

    Guys can do it all but then what the fuck is left?

    Like


  114. A woman can learn to cook. Some of my wife’s early efforts were a bit odd, but I survived.

    Some men like cooking. I don’t.

    Like


  115. on the fundamentals. This idea of shit-tests and sexual tension is a key to grasping the whole male/female dynamic.

    The other point is the logic vs emotion approach.

    The more guys approach with logic, the more beta they seem.

    Here’s a recent exchange. Comments are welcome. It’s from a girl I’ve been banging who had first agreed to visit me over Christmas, then sent me an Instant message exactly a week ago to the effect: that she couldn’t come visit because it would never work out between us, she doesn’t want to fall in love with me and get hurt etc.

    I waited a week and replied by Instant messenger:

    Me: Interesting photo

    Her: Hiya…blah blah blah what about you?

    Me: Busy

    Her: snowing here, blah blah blah

    Me: strikes in London

    Her: Blah blah blah

    Me: good luck

    Her: What do you mean?

    No response from me. A few minutes later:

    Her: Does that mean we’re never going to see each other again?

    Me: Did you get your ticket?

    Her: Ticket to where?

    Me: I’m busy, chat later

    Her: what????

    No further replies from me…

    I could see the hamster turning. I kept it to one-word replies, then tried reframing.

    The pre-game me, would have been wordy, tried to convince her to change her mind, and gotten into some type of discussion.

    New game me is trying to keep hand.

    I’m intersted to hear how I could have handled this exchange differently and what my next move is?

    I’m thinking…no move…just move on.

    Like


  116. david,
    yea I don’t see you as the “kitchen bitch” type.

    Animals living close to humans are getting fatter, too

    ever read what’ s in dry animal food or wet cat/dog food? A whole lot of stuff they don’t eat in the wild.

    and they don’t exercise as much as those living in outside.

    Like


  117. @whiskey

    Who is that in your gravatar?

    Like


  118. Are you noncookers fucking mental? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dropped jaws when, after suffering through mediocre feed from a trying-hard woman, I throw together some easy shite that makes her blink and feel totally outclassed. “I dunno, luck?” I say. Instant DHV. Then I say I hate doing it and don’t do it again until I’m disgusted enough. You cannot let some bullshit rule determine whether you have skill and pleasure. Learn some first-rate easy quick stuff and make it look effortless, not like some servile puppy embarrassment. And buy a scary fucking knife. Jesus, if we all followed Whiskey, we’d be eating and offering Alpo. Where is your pride?

    Of course, if she can cook really well, NEVER let her know you can do it yourself.

    Like


  119. @Mehcan

    You teach her like you teach her to shoot. Put the biggest, sharpest knife in her hand, get behind her, guiding her hand, and neg. Keep it simple. Lots of heat.

    Like


  120. chic noirbuttox,

    You have done an excellent job in detoxing my buttox, and have paid a great deal in royalties for the privilege.

    As a reward, you shall now be honored with a more complicated task :

    First Botox,…
    Then Rrrrrectox,…
    Then Blastox,…
    Then Detox,…

    ……….my Buttox.

    As it is now the holiday season, the previous lavender essence of summer and apple/cinnamon essence of fall will have to be replaced with pine, frankincense, and myrrh essence.

    Oh, one more thing…….I have to fart..

    ………Oooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh……

    OK, now,…

    Detox my Buttox.

    Like


  121. Nestorius

    “Do these three things and you will never be lacking for a woman’s eternally grateful love.”

    come on man. who cares about love in our times anymore?!
    it’s just about the fuck. and fuck everything else!

    You mean you don’t have at least one girl who loves you?

    You are doing it wrong.

    It would raise jealousies if I mentioned the number of girls who clean my apartment and do chores for me and fuck me on demand and tell me that they love me. So be jealous, then guys. It’s three. Three and a ping pong buddy who I will eventually seduce.

    A guy needs at least one girl who loves him. Not needs, like he needs a car, or a computer, I mean needs like he needs tasty food other than rice gruel. You won’t die without it, but you won’t feel satisfied either. And once you get a taste, you realize you were missing the best of life.

    Like


  122. A ping pong hottie whom I could also seduce…

    I have wasted my life.

    Like


  123. The three results of a shit test are, 1. Failed test, she loses interest, 2. Passed Shit Test, she is interested, 3. Man decides that she is not worth trying to pass the test for and he goes to find better prey to hunt.

    That’s one workable theory for the mechanics behind the shit test.

    Mine is that women genuinely do want the power they try to grab from men. They genuinely do want to make a beta kitchen bitch out of a grand alpha. They aren’t giving you an exam when they ask you to wash the dishes, and you fail it when you comply. They want a servant as much as men do.

    It’s just that if they win, they lose interest. That part will never occur to them, so they don’t feel like they are giving an exam. What they feel is a genuine power grab.

    Like


  124. Fundamentals

    1. Achieve something.
    2. Be as self-sufficient as possible.
    3. You don’t need her. There are plenty others as good or better.
    5. Get fit, for Chrissakes.
    6. Be able to put sex in how you look at her.
    7. Learn how to make her crazy in bed.
    8. Make serious money.
    9. Do interesting things you can talk briefly about.
    10. Learn how to tease and make her laugh, but mostly keep your mouth shut.

    That’ll get you pretty far. It helps to be tall, dark, good looking, and well-hung, but it’s not everything.

    Like


  125. Hmmm . . . all the posts since Marwinsing’s are in italics. I wonder if there’s a missing end tag that somehow gets carried over from post to post. Let’s see if this: fixes it. If this sentence is not italics, it worked.

    Like


  126. Nope. That didn’t do it. Oh well.

    Like


  127. @xsplat

    The fu is strong in you. You’re right that women tend not to see the connection between shit test failure and their diminished desire. They build up actual contempt, and then expect the beta’d male to pursue them sexually. Sickening to see. I told my BIL to start amplifying and teasing back, and he was shocked to see it work. The test wasn’t about the content of the test, but the testing itself. Now he’s helpful, which makes her feel loved, but not compliant, which makes her feel subordinate. Nature restored. Everyone happy.

    Like


  128. gaybuttox I had no idea you read my blog, thank you.

    Like


  129. ptero

    “What matters is if it comes from a place of neediness or not.”

    Cooking like absolutely everything is about about how you do it, not what you do. Carry yourself with authority and aplomb, have command of what you are doing, do not be a servitor or supplicant.

    And this is precisely why I bristle at the advice to be aloof. You can be passionate, engaging, interested, flirtatious, horny, emotional, vivacious, and vulnerable, all while not being needy.

    The word aloof implies that you are none of the above.

    Like


  130. What be the manner of this italicization?

    Like


  131. sorry doods, but this hilarious. Post about aloofness essentially translating into “if you worry how to keep her you will lose her” (which is true only to extent, some game and planning is necessary, but still very much true) ended up with comments on how to cook “like an alpha” and “keep pussy happy”. Worry about her making you happy. Yes, easier said than done, but doesn’t make it false.

    And to the poster asking about aloofness when opening and early game, well, if you hit on some girl you see for the first time and she’s not interested, so you can’t be indifferent, you f’n next her.

    Like


  132. Argh, it be butthexin’ bad luck, matey!

    Like


  133. wow, Feh, nice list. If that’s what it took to get laid or worse get a “relationship”, I’d ship my dick to India and stick with videogames. Have you tried this list:

    a) cock
    b) balls
    c) enough balls to offer butthexing by a & b to women

    Like


  134. Jeeeesus christ some of you take things too literally. Stop trying to define the word “aloof” and just get the fucking point he was making in the blog. It’s not that fucking hard to understand.

    Like


  135. @stud

    (laughs) Yeah, sometimes that worked all by itself. Especially with those impossible to lay bar skanks. I get tearful just thinking how beautiful that was. It was almost as beautiful as watching USC get spanked.

    Like


  136. Deep down inside, I always knew that being aloof and indifferent was the key to getting women. The problem was I was so shy I could never pull it off. Shyness is simply poison for game. I think if I had found this blog earlier, I might have been able to develop the confidence to overcome my shyness sooner. Now that I’m almost 40 and married, I worry that if I have a son, he’ll inherit my tendency towards shyness (I don’t worry about that if I have a daughter – in fact shyness can be an advantage for women).

    Like


  137. @FEH

    You’re advice is way over the top!

    It reads more like a Cosmo cover wish list than practical advice on pussy fundamentals. This post is about basics.

    Like


  138. @EA

    Cosmo? Right.

    My point is that there are fundamentals of game, and then there are fundamentals. It’s off-topic, but not entirely. A lot of my list has to do with building the basis of right attitude, and that careless attitude is what the Chateau post is all about. You can fake it for a while, but it’s better not to fake it. Xsplat lays this out pretty well with his “abundance” idea.

    I have never seen a beta puppy get anything other than a pat on the head, a shit test, or slow-burning contempt. I hate to see my fellow men take that kind of abuse. It sickens me.

    The basis of everything should be this: who cares what women think? They ought to thank the god of chocolate or whatever that we don’t leave them to fight among themselves.

    Like


  139. @stud

    You could just go to where the sluts are and pick off the desperate 5’s and below just by appearing willing and able at closing time, but for 6’s and up, when you’re solo, and if you’re not a pitiable sack, here’s how you can get laid. Off the top of my head:

    1. Go to where the layable 7+’s are.
    2. Have money but don’t offer it first.
    3. Be amused and a little aloof.
    4. Ask questions.
    5. Show some intelligent follow-ups.
    6. Sometimes tease or ignore her.
    7. Talk well with other people in her presence.
    8. Make sure she knows that sex is on your mind.
    9. When she makes an opening, don’t waffle, but some women don’t require a pass. There’s just an understanding.
    10. Have a place, and be ready to go.

    You’d be surprised at how many points of failure this represents. My friends go to the wrong places, spend money like anxious puppies, fawn over women who aren’t worth fawning over, are incapable of holding a varied conversation, give off nervous neurotic asexual vibes, barge in like drunken ox when they shouldn’t, and don’t have a plan or place for sex ready. And they wonder.

    Women have libidos: when they’re really available (if they aren’t, you’re not getting in that night), they’re not necessarily waiting for Awesome Asshole Alpha, they’re waiting for Not Too Shabby Mr Available.

    It’s Mount Venus, not Mount Everest. No woman is unattainable.

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  140. Johnny Boy-

    Shyness is substantially a biologically-based trait, but coping mechanisms can be learned, practiced, and refined. Don’t worry about your hypothetical son; not only will you be able to clue him in, but he’ll also have this and other blogs available during his adolescence, unlike the older generations.

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  141. ‘Cosmo? Right.”

    Yup… and that’s why you went from the “what makes a hunk” survey to spitting some damn good practical tactics for getting ass.

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  142. i demand MY posts
    be italicized
    also

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  143. @Feh

    8. Make sure she knows that sex is on your mind.

    How? Any tips on this?

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  144. @openbreak

    Ok, when she talks (blah blah blah), smile faintly and make sure your eyes don’t simply look into hers. You should put them *on* her from time to time. You don’t have to rake her over, just make sure she notices you noticing her. Maybe it’s her hat, or her cleavage, or her neck, or her ass as she walks to the bathroom. Women love to be noticed physically.

    You should also sometimes, when she’s talking, almost seem to forget what she’s talking about. Try also to seem almost to be laughing at the subject of conversation because, you’re implying, the more interesting subject is the one not being expressed. Think to yourself, “right, fascinating, but we both know that sex is better than talking.”

    This might all seem ridiculous, but it’s the only way I know how to describe the mechanics of what you’re asking. Tension is an undercurrent you both know is there but aren’t identifying as such. You have to use your eyes and infuse gallantry with a smiling and sincere appetitiveness. Anything else comes off as over the top.

    Again, we’re not talking bar ho’s at closing time. I once had a drunk co-ed at two o’clock turn around and grab my crotch after I grabbed her ass. Didn’t say a word to her before that, just made eye contact. (Where’s GBFM? Talk about desouled. She made me swear off smokers.)

    On the subject of eye contact, what I’ve found is that most urban American girls, on the street, most of the time, will not make eye contact when they’re less than twenty feet away. Maybe they’re calculating risk. Twenty feet seems to be the magic radius. So you have to monitor their eyes at that distance, and work from what you find. If you’re at a party and make eye contact at ten feet or closer, for more than two seconds, that’s an invitation.

    Hope that helps. Sounds pedantic. The trick is to enjoy it.

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  145. Is this another way of saying that guys shouldn’t let emotions take control of their decision-making?

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  146. great post…keep it like this

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  147. She senses it when you set the bar so low, it becomes a challenge to disappoint her.

    This should really be a corrollary (sp) to Maxim #87.

    SET THE BAR LOW. Be visibly proud of yourself to her after having done so. If she complains, tell her that the bar was even lower for past women and that she therefore ought not be an ingrate. Tell her this with a confident, smug grin on your face.

    They love it.

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  148. Achieving something is important, but what you choose to be good at is just as important. Some things are more manly than others, and it’s getting harder to express masculinity in our paper-pushing world.

    Some parts of this world are becoming so feminized that it might be wise to avoid them, especially when it comes to choosing a career path.

    Take higher education. Is there anything masculine about it any more? Is it even possible to express alpha-ness if you work on a college campus (somewhere other than the athletic department or ROTC)?

    Here’s a whole blog about reasons not to go to grad school: http://100rsns.blogspot.com/

    The first reason should be: don’t go if you have a Y chromosome and any self respect.

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  149. Anon

    Shyness is substantially a biologically-based trait, but coping mechanisms can be learned, practiced, and refined.

    I’m a shy guy. I’ve been called unspeakably shy. I no longer consider myself shy, but everyone else seems to.

    You can be confident in your shyness, if that makes any sense. It can be just your style, that you wear proudly, and not an impediment.

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  150. Bitch, my cock is leaving at ten– be on it!

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  151. @Snake Eyes

    “”Is this another way of saying that guys shouldn’t let emotions take control of their decision-making?””

    Don’t get too overly invested in the outcome.

    This is an important hurdle to overcome.

    It becomes a win at all costs which means trying all available actions.

    From this blog and experience, there’s a time to do and a time to wait.

    Getting too emotionally invested in whether she likes you or will respond leads to beta behaviour and is in general not attractive.

    It smacks of desperation.

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  152. Anno Anon: “Some things are more manly than others, and it’s getting harder to express masculinity in our paper-pushing world. … Take higher education. … Here’s a whole blog about reasons not to go to grad school: http://100rsns.blogspot.com/
    The first reason should be: don’t go if you have a Y chromosome and any self respect.”

    Amen, brother! College/grad school suck hard– and it’s because they suck, not ’cause they’re actually hard any more! They best years of your life? Aiigh, it gets worse?!!

    Like


  153. I think this advice is wrong. Whether “aloof” communicates disinterest depends on who is doing it. The short guy? He’s disinterested. The tall guy? He’s aloof. What makes the difference? The viewer. If you’re what the woman wants, what you do or say gets a positive interpretation. If you aren’t, what you do or say gets a negative interpretation. Most women despise short men, so the rationalization hamster says “disinterested” (or just plain “creep”). For the tall guy, the rationalization hamster says “aloof, stay around”. The short guy’s downfall wasn’t his objectively bad game, but his lack of control over the hamster.

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  154. “The short guy’s downfall wasn’t his objectively bad game, but his lack of control over the hamster.”

    I’m short. From my perspective it’s a complete misinterpretation of the cues you are sending out to say that being aloof is an attractiveness trigger.

    Yes, while being aloof, you may ALSO send out abundance cues. But you don’t have to be aloof to send those out, and you won’t be sending out other attractiveness cues while being aloof.

    If you’ve seen pictures of R you’ll see he’s tall and attractive. He’ll interpret accordingly.

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  155. If you are tall and attractive and have not yet much experience with women, a shortcut to appearing more successful is to act aloof. This will help get you laid.

    If you are of average or below average appearance, you can’t take that particular shortcut, and must work on the deeper and more significant underpinnings of why that shortcut can work. You must build up comfort with girls, by fucking a lot of them – even if it means starting with older women. You must build up your social skills with women through constant dating or serial monogamy. You must work on your wealth, your appearance. You must do meditations and body centered practices to get you at ease in your own skin and your own mind. In short, you must do whatever it takes to convey ease and success and comfort and joy. People must be attracted to your presence. Once you do that, you’ll see that being aloof is actually unnatractive – not attractive.

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  156. The whole aloof and indifferent concept has always flown over my head. Tried it out for about 2 months and I ended up coming off as cold & rude(which I don’t give a shit about lol) and uninteresting. It’s coming off cold and uninteresting that really makes me doubt this strategy. 0 intrigue creation over here man.

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  157. […] – “The Fundamentals“, “The Perfect Christmas Gifts for Your Girlfriend(s)“, “Want Fewer Sex […]

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  158. @Josh…

    “”The whole aloof and indifferent concept has always flown over my head. Tried it out for about 2 months and I ended up coming off as cold & rude(which I don’t give a shit about lol) and uninteresting.””

    The idea isn’t to be rude, it’s to be actively disengaged….not to get too demonstrative. Be engaged, then distracted and walk away.

    Start, then pull away. Push-pull.

    Don’t know what specifically you were doing. But if you’re just ignoring the vibe, then you have to be more present. Just not over-the-top.

    Also, it’s about the walk, the posture, the alpha attitude.

    Much of it is also about inner confidence. What’s the non-verbal I’m trying to project?

    My problem is that I end up banging these girls and they get so emotional and involved they immediately pull away and tell me: “I’m afraid of falling in love with you.”

    It’s an odd position to be in.

    It’s happened twice in the last couple of months: intense hot banging…then girl pulls away claiming she’s “afraid of getting hurt”.

    I have no response to that….I let them go….

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  159. […] a recent post, I wrote about the fundamentals of pickup — namely, the attitude and behavior a man must exhibit to guarantee success with women. The […]

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  160. […] ist entspannt, lässt sich nicht stören. Indifferent. Ignoriert es […]

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  161. […] Zudem hat auch der unnahbare Kerl, dem es egal ist, wie er aufgenommen wird, sondern der einfach ist, wie er ist, eine gewisse Anziehungskraft auf Frauen. Um es mit Roissy zu sagen: Women cannot resist the aloof and indifferent man. […]

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