Wedding Ring Game

I had a friend who used to wear a cheapo gold plated ring whenever he was out in a public place where there might be hot chicks, even though he wasn’t married. I asked him why. He beamed with pride as he said “The looks I get from girls quadruples when I wear this. It’s like a pussy beacon.”

It was true. When I was out with him, he would conspicuously position his left hand on the bar and girls would suddenly gather in clumps nearby, giving us obvious proximity approach cues, or they would go right up to my friend and open him with their lame pickup lines that would never work for a guy.

“Hi, do you come to this place a lot?”

I though maybe they felt comfortable approaching my friend because he seemed safe as a “married” man no longer in the hunt. But that theory was wrong. They approached him because they were intrigued. The sparkle of attraction in their eyes betrayed their tingling pussies. All he needed to do was slip that bad boy wedding band on his finger and it was like wearing the One Ring of Power — Sauron’s giant fiery labia was following him everywhere.

“What do you do when the girl asks about your “wife”?” I wondered.

“You’d be surprised. Half the time they never ask, and of course, I never mention it. I take the ring off in my pocket later in the night, after we’ve been talking for a while and she’s invested her time in me, and proceed to game her as normal. They must rationalize it away in their heads, as is the wont of their fickle gender.”

“And what about the ones who do ask?”

“Depends when she asks. If we’re making out on my couch and then she asks, I tell her my “wife” and I are separated and have an agreement to date around. I know I have her at that point, so the allure of being a taken man is no longer required. If she asks right away, I ignore her question — actually, they will never ASK, like “Are you married?”; instead they’ll hint at it tangentially, like “Does your wife know you are out tonight flirting with girls?” . Evasion is the word of the day. I might say “Does your Mom know you are out tonight letting guys like me flirt with you?” 90% of the time, this works. If you make a girl feel good emotions, she’ll conveniently forget all about your loyal wife sitting at home waiting for your return. For those 10% of girls who keep asking, I just say I’m “having issues” with my wife. Very few actually walk away because they feel bad flirting with a married man. Women are really amoral creatures, driven by their vaginas, like an animal in heat.”

“This all sounds so easy.”

“It is. Which is why I can’t believe more men don’t do it.”

“I guess some guys have a problem with lying.”

“They shouldn’t. Women certainly don’t.”

Public Service Announcement: Most girls can’t tell the difference between gold plated and 24K gold. Save your money, gentlemen.





Comments


  1. This is a great post.

    I knew my wife slightly long before we got involved. I always liked her but never went for her. At the time, I was on an Asian streak, and my wife is white.

    Then I heard, via multiple sources, that she had conclusively turned down a married guy who was separated, solely on that basis.

    I knew him too and asked him about it, and he said that’s exactly what happened. And he was a true alpha type who pulled girls right and left.

    Within six months she and I were engaged. You don’t miss an opportunity like that, it comes along literally once in a lifetime. Never had cause for regret, not for a single day.

    Knowing that a woman is truly loyal and principled is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

    Like


  2. This is some pretty innovative stuff. I have kicked this idea around but never done it.

    Good to know it works.

    “Most girls can’t tell the difference between gold plated and 24K gold. Save your money, gentlemen.”

    True. Most girls can’t tell the difference between a mall Suit for $500 or a custom Suit from Savile Row for $3500. But some girls can, and you don’t want to leave anything to chance. Plus, nothing is more dope than a custom suit.

    I say get the legit ring for the chance that you meet some super fly Jewelery store heiress.

    But that may be just me.

    – MPM

    Like


  3. You buddy may be onto something. I went without my wedding band for a few months about a year ago, after it had become too large for me, until I got it resized. Women may have acted a little friendlier toward me once I resumed wearing the band. It was a very slight difference, hence the use of italics, but I believe it was there.

    Peter

    Like


  4. Reminds me of the scene in the 1989 film “Sex, Lies, and Videotape” in which John Mullaney (Peter Gallagher) explains to Graham Dalton (James Spader) precisely how this process works.

    Like


  5. I have a buddy who got divorced and he continued to wear the ring for exactly this reason.

    Like


  6. “Knowing that a woman is truly loyal and principled is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”

    I always check for the ring, and it wouldn’t work on me.

    Like


  7. It didn’t work too well for George Costanza… but what does?

    It’s true that when you get married the women just come out of the woodwork. The bright shiny eyes, the open body language, the flirtation, increase by a factor of ten.

    Like


  8. “Women are really amoral creatures, driven by their vaginas, like an animal in heat.”

    knowing this you can call them retarded and still bang in the same night…. or so I’ve heard.

    Like


  9. Hello,

    As soon as you see a ring, you walk away?

    Sure, it’s possible. But it’s also very rare. If it wasn’t rare, Roissy’s dbag friend wouldn’t be picking up with his $100 ring as BAIT.

    Like


  10. on November 14, 2008 at 1:16 pm ironrailsironweights

    Allegedly, the way to have chicks really falling all over you is to push a baby in a stroller.

    Peter

    Like


  11. trying to close an html tag…

    or they would go right up to my friend and open him with their lame pickup lines that would never work for a guy.

    Chicks have pretty lame dance moves too. No reason to learn or practice. Then they hit 27 and wonder why no one is hypnotized by their killer dancing anymore — they never were, it was just the heady scent of your 20 year-old pussy, now evaporated.

    Luckily there are naturals out there who know how to make a man feel good on the dancefloor.

    Like


  12. There is a term for this effect in the animal kingdom called “mate-choice copying” and it can be demonstrated in the lab with certain animals like guppies. If you pair a female with a drab, ugly male [apparently even guppies have betas], and let some other female guppies watch, they’ll go for the drab, mated guppy over the solitary, sexy guppies.

    Mate-choice copying has also been demonstrated in the lab with human beings.

    http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn10966-beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-your-friends.html

    Like


  13. But at least in the guppy case, you can only push the females so far — too drab, and it doesn’t matter how many other females are going for him. “Hey, you suckers can take him!”

    Males must succumb to this kind of peer pressure too. Right now, the masculinized look in women is popular among guys — the Pussycat Dolls, Angelina Jolie, Nelly Furtado, etc. No more femmes.

    Still, they’re in the ballpark of attractive, so guys fall for it. If they were too masculinized — like bodybuilders or something — then it wouldn’t fly at all.

    Like


  14. I stay as far away as possible from a dude with a ring on.

    Then again, I am not in your chosen demographic, roissy.

    Like


  15. “Hello,

    As soon as you see a ring, you walk away?”

    Yes I do, and I am rare.

    Like


  16. It’s not all that rare; already three ring-avoiders in only 15 comments….

    Like


  17. Knowing that a woman is truly loyal and principled is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

    Yes, there are women who run away from a ring and those who rush after it.

    Like


  18. Women who go for it are unlikely to admit it, even anonymously online. But yes, the girls dudes on this blog chase aren’t representative of the entire female populace even if they guys think they are.

    Like


  19. my best friend and his wife are actually separated, and it amazes me how many girls hit on him with his band still on his finger. no shame, no concern. instant magnet. spot on again Roissy.

    Like


  20. I did that years ago, going out with a female friend and using what looked like a wedding ring.

    I can vouch for your friend’s experience. I ended up making out with a girl who had a boyfriend.

    Like


  21. $100? That seems like a lot for a pussy prop.

    Like


  22. how much can I buy a fake ring for?

    Like


  23. There is a term for this effect in the animal kingdom called “mate-choice copying” and it can be demonstrated in the lab with certain animals like guppies.

    interesting. social proof is a powerful PUA concept. but it doesn’t work the other way around. men don’t magically become more attracted to women who are surrounded by other men. men only need visual cues. women need alpha cues, which include intangible assets.

    QT:
    Then again, I am not in your chosen demographic, roissy.

    are you standing in my bedroom naked, folding my underwear and squirting cheez whiz on your breastessesss? then you are my chosen demographic.

    Like


  24. I’d go for the stroller before the ring

    Like


  25. How old does one have to be for this to work? I’m a 22-year old in a liberal east coast city. I think most girls would see right through me.

    Like


  26. You can get a fake Purple Heart and say that you were wounded in Afghanistan. Or cut off your left hand and tell the girls that you were injured while with Doctors without Borders in Darfur.

    Like


  27. “Public Service Announcement: Most girls can’t tell the difference between gold plated and 24K gold. Save your money, gentlemen.”

    A metaphor?

    Like


  28. I call it a fake out ring. Keeps most men far away from me.

    Public Service Announcement: Most girls can’t tell the difference between gold plated and 24K gold. Save your money, gentlemen

    Until she has that ring appraised. Some women really have their rings appraised.

    Like


  29. A metaphor?

    Have to give it you, that was good.

    But don’t get a big head.

    Like


  30. *putting on hat to prevent expansion of head*

    I guess keeping the complements to a minimum is good game, huh?

    Like


  31. on November 14, 2008 at 4:47 pm Married But Cool

    Chic –

    He’s saying to buy a fake (cheap) pick up ring, not buy a fake engagement ring for a woman. Sheesh.

    Like


  32. Married men might be perceived as “safe” by married women in regards to having an affair, but they’re not considered “off limits” by single women who are looking to land a provider. This is especially the case where a guy is making six figures and has all the material toys. Plenty of single women who want a life of leisure wouldn’t hesitate to try and take a man who is already “taken” by another woman. Women would rather have part of a winner than all of a loser, especially if they think that they can ultimately get all of the winner eventually.

    Like


  33. MBC He’s saying to buy a fake (cheap) pick up ring, not buy a fake engagement ring for a woman

    I’m sure he has in the past or something similar but thanks anyway.

    Like


  34. “But yes, the girls dudes on this blog chase aren’t representative of the entire female populace even if they guys think they are.”

    Don’t call us “dudes”.

    And who wants the entire female populace?

    I only want the entire hot female populace.

    Model Girls, Playmates, Exotic Dancers, 4 B girls, B actresses, Nightlife Princesses, Fly Rich Daughters, and Dope Civilian Girls, etc.

    – MPM

    Like


  35. “$100? That seems like a lot for a pussy prop.”

    Compared to what?

    If its the “gift that keeps on giving” and it helps you swoop 100 girls, then it pays for itself.

    I guess it just depends on you Bankroll.

    And mine is Thicker than London Fog.

    – MPM

    Like


  36. “I’m a 22-year old in a liberal east coast city. I think most girls would see right through me.”

    Then they will.

    Like everything else in life (and every con), you have to have confidence and swagger.

    If its ok with you, it will be ok with them.

    – MPM

    Like


  37. ironrailsironweights
    Allegedly, the way to have chicks really falling all over you is to push a baby in a stroller.

    It works

    Like


  38. “Allegedly, the way to have chicks really falling all over you is to push a baby in a stroller.”

    This probably works with getting girls digits.

    But if you want a same day swoop, your going to have to find a place to stash the kid.

    Maybe use a fake baby?

    – MPM

    Like


  39. @ G Manifesto,
    The lads on this blog chase after not hot chicks but dumb, shallow, easily manipulated hot chicks. Hot chicks with their heads on straight don’t buy fool’s gold.

    Like


  40. I knew my wife slightly long before we got involved. I always liked her but never went for her. At the time, I was on an Asian streak, and my wife is white.

    Then I heard, via multiple sources, that she had conclusively turned down a married guy who was separated, solely on that basis.

    I knew him too and asked him about it, and he said that’s exactly what happened. And he was a true alpha type who pulled girls right and left.

    Within six months she and I were engaged. You don’t miss an opportunity like that, it comes along literally once in a lifetime. Never had cause for regret, not for a single day.

    Knowing that a woman is truly loyal and principled is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

    Yup. This tactic would only select for girls I don’t want…

    …and on a related note, I really should have known better than to spend much of the last year pursuing a girl who french kissed me while having a long-distance boyfriend. Silly me insisted on principles and waiting for her to end her existing relationship before going any further; I had no use for the short-term fling she was offering. But she had already shown she couldn’t be trusted for any more than that…

    Like


  41. Allegedly, the way to have chicks really falling all over you is to push a baby in a stroller.

    nah, that doesn’t work. babies kill the sexytime mood. she’ll want to coo at the baby, not flirt with you.

    plus, a baby signals that your resources are currently being tied up. a wedding ring with no kid says you’ve got plenty of free resources while retaining the allure of being a taken man.

    Like


  42. A fake baby?

    ROF

    Like


  43. The lads on this blog chase after not hot chicks but dumb, shallow, easily manipulated hot chicks.

    does wishing this were so help you sleep at night?

    Hot chicks with their heads on straight don’t buy fool’s gold.

    false premise.

    Like


  44. “Allegedly, the way to have chicks really falling all over you is to push a baby in a stroller.

    nah, that doesn’t work. babies kill the sexytime mood. she’ll want to coo at the baby, not flirt with you.”

    The more I think about it, I agree with Roissy.

    Paying for a fake wedding ring is so much easier.

    Plus, the little kid might puke on your Gucci suit.

    Go the:

    1. fake wedding ring hustle
    2. Pit bull puppy
    3. Fake baby
    4. Real baby (last resort)

    – MPM

    Like


  45. Woe-is-he,
    Some girls CAN tell the difference between plate and 24k.

    Like


  46. on November 14, 2008 at 5:30 pm Comment_Self_Selection

    The fact that the women who flirted with him ‘didn’t ask about the ring’ doesn’t mean much towards “all women are like that”. Of the women that approached, almost all of them had decided to ignore the ring before flirting with him. The percentage of women who are sluts is not determined by the certainity that some are.

    BELOW IS ACTUALLY USEFULL:
    *****
    I have no doubt the ring works(on some percentage of women), and it might be a good idea for a ‘starter’ in Game to wear the ring for precisely this reason(in a large city, maybe a little different area than normal). This would certainly have a simple, and devastating, effect on a head stuffed full with feminist drivel.
    *****

    Like


  47. Woe-is-he

    needs work.

    Some girls CAN tell the difference between plate and 24k.

    except game is not plate. it’s 24K displayed under warm lighting on a pillow of satin.

    Like


  48. The lads on this blog chase after not hot chicks but dumb, shallow, easily manipulated hot chicks.

    Unfortunately…or fortunately depending on your viewpoint…there’s a LOT of overlap between the dumb chick and hot chick category.

    Like


  49. Hello,

    By the way, “lads?” Where are you from? Don’t often here the word “lads” in the US.

    Like


  50. T:
    I grew up in the dc metro area, but whathisface up there told me not to call the males on this blog “dudes” and “hot throbbing hunks of burning love” is hardly an accurate descriptor

    Like


  51. Well, the question is, how much does it help you? If you would have scored 99 girls without and 100 with? How much is that one girl worth to you? At that level, the difference of one girl has little practical impact on your life quality.

    Truthfully, I could see such a prop as worthwhile. If it entices women to approach you, that takes half your work out for you.

    But not all of us do whatever it is you do. With urban living costs what they are, even at 80k/year, $100 is not dropped carelessly.

    Like


  52. on November 14, 2008 at 6:08 pm Married But Cool

    Its having the ring that counts in this example, not the quality of the stupid gold in any case.

    Like


  53. Of course not all women are like those that approached the guy. But the reality is that the Joker was right about people and double-so about women. They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. And just because they responded doesn’t mean they’re sluts…

    Like


  54. agnostic:

    Males must succumb to this kind of peer pressure too. Right now, the masculinized look in women is popular among guys — the Pussycat Dolls

    Is THIS “masculinized”???

    Tupac’s type, right there, period point blank.

    Like


  55. QT:

    Then again, I am not in your chosen demographic, roissy.

    Post a full jpg and let us be the judge of that, Mami.

    Like


  56. hello:

    A metaphor?

    Heh

    Like


  57. Is THIS “masculinized”???

    Tupac’s type, right there, period point blank.

    If that’s what goes for “masculinized” these days, the world is officially insane TC.

    Like


  58. Agnostic probably thinks Salma Hayek is masculinized.

    Like


  59. hello:

    Agnostic probably thinks Salma Hayek is masculinized.

    Well, she does have that slight lantern-jaw thing going on…

    It always bugged me, like seeing an otherwise gorgeous girl with a GNP.

    Just sayin’

    Like


  60. I think the hour glass figure makes up for it. God, you and Peter. Do you, Pac, do any personal grooming down there?

    Like


  61. Let me see if I have this right, roissy. You’re a liar who thinks with his little head, and the women you’re physically attracted to are liars who are entirely vagina driven. So what’s the complaint?

    Like


  62. hello:

    I think the hour glass figure makes up for it.

    Girl’s hip/waist ratio is off the hook, yeah.

    Do you, Pac, do any personal grooming down there?

    You’re going to have to do better than that if you want a taste.

    Like


  63. Do you, Pac, do any personal grooming down there?

    I shave down there for the girls who will never use it.

    Like


  64. Maybe the ring sends some good messages:

    I am not some shallow kid. I have been/am in a long term relationship. I have money. I am no crazy. I will not be stalking you after we are done. I’ll be discrete and very likely grateful for the time you spend with me. I’ll probably be generous.

    And, about the girls caring about his cheating on his wife: Why should they care? That’s his problem and her problem. And, his cheating on his wife may give them leverage over him. They know if he gets to be a nuisance bye and bye, they can just rat on him to his wife.

    All in all, not bad for $100.

    Like


  65. “The most attractive trait is being attractive to others.”

    I forget the exact phrasing, but it’s from Dawkins’ “The Selfish Gene.” If someone is attractive to others, you can be sure that their genes will be passed down from generation to generation – a genetic jackpot.

    The ring is a simple but definite marker of pre-selection.

    Like


  66. Goddamn, this is brilliant! Gotta go out and get a plate gold ring.

    I had an attractive colleague who once specialized in married men. She’s smart as hell and ambitious, too. Now she’s partner at a law firm with a nice, supplicant beta husband she’ll inevitably cheat on.

    Ah, marriage….

    Like


  67. on November 14, 2008 at 9:58 pm ironrailsironweights

    It always bugged me, like seeing an otherwise gorgeous girl with a GNP.

    A GNP is gorgeous. Not to mention delicious.

    Peter

    Like


  68. I had an attractive colleague who once specialized in married men. She’s smart as hell and ambitious, too. Now she’s partner at a law firm with a nice, supplicant beta husband she’ll inevitably cheat on.

    There is no incentive for a beta male to get married or enter into any relationship with a woman.

    Like


  69. There is no incentive for a beta male to get married or enter into any relationship with a woman.

    Harsh assessment.

    Beta males have sex drives. Why not just enter into relationships for the sex of it? And, who knows. She might wind up liking you.

    I know a young woman who married an older man, sounds like a beta. After about two years of marriage, and one child, she has complained about some of his behaviors, which seem to involve his working long hours and being sorta an old fuddy duddy. “… but, he is well endowed.” she allowed, so, it wasn’t so bad. (She also apparently has a box of sex toys.)

    So, even betas may have some hope if they just hang in there.

    So, having relationships with a woman might be worth if if she is smart and beautiful, and fertile, like this one is.

    Like


  70. joel, I think the consensus on this board, and quite frankly, from real life, is that the sex is merely a lure and will not continue once you are “trapped” by marriage.

    Like


  71. @QT
    There are tens of thousands of (self-reported) studies on sexual frequency in- and out- of marriage, and for singles.

    for starters:
    http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/357/8/762

    why parrot conventional tropes or echo chamber consensus?

    Like


  72. The G Manifesto
    “Allegedly, the way to have chicks really falling all over you is to push a baby in a stroller.”

    This probably works with getting girls digits.

    But if you want a same day swoop, your going to have to find a place to stash the kid.

    Maybe use a fake baby?

    – MPM

    This is funny. A baby or kids might get you some attention, but when you’ve got them on your hands you don’t have any time for women, unless they want to babysit for you.

    Also, as for the ring thing, I’m not so sure. I always had better luck before I was stupid enough to put one on.

    Like


  73. Slick Rick:

    If that’s what goes for “masculinized” these days, the world is officially insane TC.

    Yeah, but who am I kidding. I’d probably never pull something of that quality. The most I’d get it is some witty banter, followed by some initial comfort/rapport, just as the G Manifesto swoops in with is $3500 suits and tales of the Riviera and steals that honey right from under my nose (and probably has, now that I look back). Fucker.

    Like


  74. David Alexander:

    There is no incentive for a beta male to get married or enter into any relationship with a woman.

    Depends on the woman (hot or not?) and whether you want children.

    Do you?

    Like


  75. Peter:

    It always bugged me, like seeing an otherwise gorgeous girl with a GNP.

    A GNP is gorgeous. Not to mention delicious.

    Do you think Clio has a GNP? I’m asking sincerely.

    If not, you should do some soul searching.

    Like


  76. QT:

    joel, I think the consensus on this board, and quite frankly, from real life, is that the sex is merely a lure and will not continue once you are “trapped” by marriage.

    Only if you’re a beta.

    Still waiting on that .jpg, mami.

    Like


  77. Apropos of nothing, but this reminded me of what might happen if DA starts to man up:

    Kinda reminded me of what the vibe of this blog is turning into as well… 😉

    Like


  78. Their bodies aren’t bad, aside from being too aerobicized for my tastes. I mean their faces — the jaw, the length of their face, straight or sloping foreheads rather than bulbous babylike ones, overall bone structure, etc.

    The last time super-feminine faces were popular was the late ’60s and early ’70s. Jean Shrimpton, Twiggy, Audrey Hepburn, and so on. The only contemporary example I can think of, who isn’t a teenager (like Selena Gomez), is Mya:

    She’s half-Italian and half-black, so of course she’s got a great body too.

    Like


  79. So stroller trumps ring around here. Well, hello, QT, chic, come to my place and I’ll show you my gold-plated baby.

    Like


  80. anony – when I said real life, I meant MY real life. I have friends who legitimately do not like sex and getting married is a relief for them – it will be an infrequent chore, and they marry men they can deny on a regular basis. I can’t identify with this mindset, personally.

    tupac – i’m thinking i might let some other pobresita go first on the posting of a jpg. 🙂 but thanks for asking.

    jaakkeli – I am not interested in a stroller, either. I am interested in zero prior resource entanglements. But the gold plated baby is a nice touch.

    Like


  81. on November 15, 2008 at 8:39 am ironrailsironweights

    Do you think Clio has a GNP? I’m asking sincerely.
    If not, you should do some soul searching.

    I won’t even speculate, it would be disrespectful.

    Peter

    Like


  82. on November 15, 2008 at 9:30 am eternalingenue

    He’s right Pac, show some respect.

    *smacking Tupac’s hand and sending him to sit in the corner*

    Like


  83. on November 15, 2008 at 9:43 am eternalingenue

    QT,
    You’re right, many women who don’t like sex find dating problematic. They think marriage will solve the problem, and send their husbands into the arms of mistresses.

    Like


  84. It might be funny if a guy has a serious girlfriend,but slips on the ring to entice a girl for some cheatin’,and while fully ringed up who should he run into? His Girlfriend–and to make it better,the girlfriend is with her large,loudmouthed angry parents–both of whom already think he is an idiot. (And did I mention the guy is employed by the girls father?? Or maybe he is an army private and the girls father is a General? OK, I’ll stop now…) 🙂

    Like


  85. Ha!! These are great!!

    I actually wrote my Animal Behavior term paper (psych 230 or something like that) on the mating habits of the sage grouse. Which resemble the dance club scene…I didnt find anything in there related to any wedding rings though??

    I don’t know if I have the audacity to pull this one off and besides if all a wedding band got you was some lips services – it aint worth it.

    Somebody please post that you bed’d a 8+, who showered (alone) in the AM and left you a wet towel and one less yogurt in the refrigerator before leaving undetected? anyone??

    Like


  86. Can I say one more thing…

    I would pass on the wedding ring, take that same $250 (I would have bought a semi-legit one) and buy a expensive pair a of shoes – because true, a willing chick will see a wedding band from space, but she will also see what type of footwear you are sporting…no bullshit needed. Any ladies contest that you can (near immediately) judge a guy by his zapatos??

    Like


  87. eternalingenue:
    He’s right Pac, show some respect.

    *cringe*

    Yikes.

    New rule: no more internet commenting after making 6 Tom Collins disappear.

    Like


  88. QT:

    I have friends who legitimately do not like sex and getting married is a relief for them – it will be an infrequent chore, and they marry men they can deny on a regular basis.

    Do they dislike sex in general or just sex with their beta husbands?

    If the former, have you noticed any common attributes they possess so that we men can better avoid such women?


    I can’t identify with this mindset, personally.

    Porque tu tiene sabor, mijita.

    Like


  89. If the former, have you noticed any common attributes they possess so that we men can better avoid such women?

    The common attribute of such women is that they all have vaginas. In other words, one would have to avoid all women unless one has magic alpha powers.

    Like


  90. @ David Alexander :

    “There is no incentive for a beta male to get married or enter into any relationship with a woman.”

    Sex? Now the negatives may ultimately outweigh the positives, but there’s *always* sex.

    Like


  91. Depends on the woman (hot or not?) and whether you want children.

    Do you?

    I would like to have kids, but getting married isn’t worth having kids. Plus, the possibility of certain beliefs spreading makes it difficult for somebody like myself to have children in the future. Hell, judging by the progeny of closely related family members, one could argue that it’s pretty easy to write off having kids…

    Apropos of nothing, but this reminded me of what might happen if DA starts to man up

    Funny ass scene, but I hate Afrocentrics.

    I won’t even speculate, it would be disrespectful.

    The Clio foaming is scary, yet somehow, I worshiped Wellesley Queen for three years…

    Sex? Now the negatives may ultimately outweigh the positives, but there’s *always* sex.

    Sex is way too much work, and it’s just too tiring. Much easier to sit in a chair and jerk off… 😛

    Like


  92. @ David Alexander:

    Sex is way too much work, and it’s just too tiring. Much easier to sit in a chair and jerk off… 😛

    For most women, I agree. They’re not worth the effort. I think roissy would agree with that too.

    But there’s a few…like if you REALLY had a chance with one of your porn-star looking ideal girlfriends, I guarauntee you’d put in the work. But yeah, the chance of sex with a 5 (and all the shit you’d have to put up with to get it) vs jerking off…there’s only one choice. 🙂

    Like


  93. Skeptic, porn stars don’t exist in the real world. They’re fictitious creatures like unicorns and fairy godmothers.

    Like


  94. @DA,
    Darling, I’m glad you understand that as I was just about to tell you that porn stars in the vast majority of movies are faking their orgasms. And badly, I might add, whereas actresses in mainstream movies that simulate sex. Kate Winslet in “Little Children” faked orgasm much much better than the fifth rate porn girls who typically lie there looking bored and only start moaning when they look at the camera. There’s a reason that these chicks fail in mainstream cinema and TV and must resort to having sex on film to get the attention they crave; they’re bad actresses. Real women enjoy sex than the girls in porn.

    Like


  95. BTW, to our august blogmaster:
    I simply do not believe that your friend said “They must rationalize it away in their heads, as is the wont of their fickle gender.” That is YOUR syntax, my lamb, and leads me to believe that this post is fake.

    Like


  96. Getting back to the wedding ring thing, has anyone tried to trace the neuropsychological pathway of fucked up reasoning that runs through a woman’s mind when she sidles up to the guy with the ring at the bar, when she flirts with him passing up other guys who are ostensibly single?

    Is it because the element of *danger* is an aphrodisiac to women? Is it because she equates “married” with “desirable”, subconsciously assuming that the guy must have sufficient material resources to maintain a marriage?

    Does she equate being married with a higher likelihood of being alpha?

    What exactly is the daisy chain of feminine “””””reasoning””””” at work here???

    Like


  97. DA said:

    “I would like to have kids, but getting married isn’t worth having kids.”

    David, what you really mean is, “Getting married to an entitled urban American woman (especially in the Northeastern US) isn’t worth having kids.”

    I still think you should go to Kiev or Moscow, just to check out what you’re missing.

    Interestingly, you do see African people in those countries. Yes, racism is pretty widespread and pretty deeply-embedded in the society, but I think gradually, as exposure to the outside increases, people in Eastern Europe and Russia are becoming more tolerant.

    In Kiev this summer I had dinner with friends at a busy Georgian restaurant connected to a small casino and club, a very popular and widely known nightspot in town.

    Standing at the door was a dark black guy, about 6’3″, in a fancy suit. Sort of a combined greeter and bouncer.

    My drunken guess at his accent was Jamaica, but it turned out he was from Nigeria. When he found out I was American, he said “Vote for Obama!”

    I said, “I definitely will.”

    My conservative friend balked, but I slipped the African guy a big tip.

    Maybe 20 years ago, the very idea of having an African greeting customers at a place like this, in Kiev, would have been anathema.

    These days in Eastern Europe, you see more and more Black people in these roles, and I’m sure they’re being paid pretty well, or at least well enough to stay.

    I’ve even seen some BM/WF couples in Eastern Europe — but not yet as far east as Ukraine.

    I’m not saying it’s a phenomenal breakthrough or anything, but I see something like this as a small sign of progress — a crack in the door.

    Like


  98. Joe T:

    What exactly is the daisy chain of feminine “””””reasoning””””” at work here???

    Nothing too fancy. My impression is that women are not as capable as men in assessing objective value, so they eagerly embrace groupthink when there is a tangible proxy like wedding rings to base it on. I’m sure the reasoning is nothing more than: “Some OTHER woman already did the hard work of assessing his value so I am now spared the laborious process of shit-testing and other cat-n-mouse games.”

    As men, we would know a quality woman even if we were shipwrecked on a desolate island and she was the only other person there. Popularity contests don’t play into it.

    There’s also the fact that genuinely high-status males tend to be popular (as defined by their surrounding group), so when there is no group for a woman to compare you to, she has trouble assessing your rank and so reverts to shit-testing and the like.

    Like Roissy said, the modern heirarchical business environment makes it easy for women to categorize you in the pecking order, much as it was in earlier times of smaller commmunites/tribes.

    In today’s sprawling, anonymous and atomized urban environment, her widdle head has trouble assessing objective value in situ and so eagerly embraces any cognitive shortcuts, i.e., wedding rings.

    Like


  99. Tupac – Right on.

    Like


  100. @David Alexander:

    “Skeptic, porn stars don’t exist in the real world. They’re fictitious creatures like unicorns and fairy godmothers.”

    They exist if you roll big enough. 🙂

    What about any plump white girls? Surely there’s lots of that where you are.

    Like


  101. I agree with skeptic. Getting a plumb white middle class girl with a somewhat cute face shouldn’t be too difficult. At least it’s much easier than getting a teen girl.

    Like


  102. In metro DC, even “plump” white chicks with decent faces act like attitude on legs and have an entitlement complexes.

    If a DC area girl is “plump” and decent looking, not ugly, she will typically inflate her own value in the dating narket. If she’s a 5-6, she’ll act like an 8.

    American men are so inured to dealing with overweight females that “plump” now equals “svelte”.

    In order for weight to have *any* negative impact on an American woman’s dating value these days, she has to be downright morbidly obese.

    Anything less, along with a marginally cute face, and she’ll be prancing around like she’s Reese Witherspoon.

    Like


  103. I decided to test this ring thing, having my custom wedding band stil available to me.

    Well, I’ll be damned if the ring didn’t pull a little more cluster effect for me and open up different conversation tangents. Kudos on the evasion angle — I rolled with that for 5 minutes getting her to relax. I even told the truth at the end — “No — really, I wear it to help me pick up women.” — and got the standard punch on the arm.

    So net net, I would say it added +1 woman to my entourage but it did seem to change the type of woman. These women seemed a little more impulsive and more emotion-driven than what I normally attract. I would guess I was getting the more “i want fun, fewer strings” girls. Which is interesting because I didn’t realize i was broadcasting more serious signals.

    Like


  104. “As men, we would know a quality woman even if we were shipwrecked on a desolate island and she was the only other person there. Popularity contests don’t play into it.”

    Paris Hilton hardly lacks for male companionship.

    Like


  105. Paris Hilton hardly lacks for male companionship.

    that’s because paris is cute. duh.

    Like


  106. “These women seemed a little more impulsive and more emotion-driven than what I normally attract. I would guess I was getting the more “i want fun, fewer strings” girls.”

    When I was in retail I flirted with just about every attractive, and sometimes not-so-attractive, man who walked through the door to help pass the time. Some were married and although I flirted I wasn’t interested in them for mostly that reason. In a bar or at a party I would’ve completely ignored them. So I think you’re right and that good time girls who are into this are not representative.

    Like


  107. and that good time girls who are into this are not representative.

    not representative of what? all women? because if you’re claiming that, then you had better be ready to toss out some percentages. if the number of girls who are more attracted to a man wearing a wedding ring is higher than the number of girls who are less attracted, then good time girls are more representative of all women.

    Like


  108. Paris? Her face has a weird shape, she is too skinny. But some guys like that. Still as far as “quality” goes she’s clearly vapid, promiscuous and self-absorbed. I brought her up to question the concept that men can tell a “quality” girl without social cues. I see the opposite: men ignoring overwhelming evidence that a woman is stupid, narcissistic, mentally unstable etc. because she’s pretty. Now women frequently overlook that stuff as well if the guy has game so I don’t think either gender is smarter in this regard.

    Like


  109. “because if you’re claiming that, then you had better be ready to toss out some percentages.”

    Ringed or not, he may never have attracted anyone but good time girls. If a stronger magnet attracts more metal than a weaker one, it doesn’t mean that a stronger magnet can attract all solid substances.

    Like


  110. Paris? Her face has a weird shape, she is too skinny.

    another unbiased third party heard from.

    Still as far as “quality” goes she’s clearly vapid, promiscuous and self-absorbed.

    irrelevant. the most important asset a quality girl brings to the sexual market is her looks.

    I brought her up to question the concept that men can tell a “quality” girl without social cues.

    you are deluded about men’s desire. men do not need social cues to determine a woman’s quality because almost all men need to know is in her visual appearance which is readily obtainable by a split second glance.

    I see the opposite: men ignoring overwhelming evidence that a woman is stupid, narcissistic, mentally unstable etc. because she’s pretty.

    what you wish men would value is not the same as what men actually value.
    nor is it the same as what our selfish genes value.

    Now women frequently overlook that stuff as well if the guy has game so I don’t think either gender is smarter in this regard.

    “attraction isn’t a choice”. your value system has got nothing to do with it.

    Like


  111. chic lite:
    Ringed or not, he may never have attracted anyone but good time girls.

    congratulations on completely evading my point and pulling a chic.

    If a stronger magnet attracts more metal than a weaker one, it doesn’t mean that a stronger magnet can attract all solid substances.

    who said anything about “all”? if a man attracts 10 women in a bar with the ring vs 1 woman in a bar without it, the sensible thing to do is stick with a winner.

    Like


  112. Paris?

    If one likes short-term relationships with skinny blonde girls, then she’s perfect. She’s not in the David Alexander sphere of attraction.

    I was just about to tell you that porn stars in the vast majority of movies are faking their orgasms.

    I don’t mind the fake porn orgasms. They add to the allure of “cock-worship” that porn has. In other words, it’s a woman submitting herself into worship of a male cock, and what man doesn’t long for that at some point in their lives. The problem is that most women just aren’t capable of replicating that experience in real life regardless of their submission.

    David, what you really mean is, “Getting married to an entitled urban American woman (especially in the Northeastern US) isn’t worth having kids.”

    Actually, given that marriage is generally a sexless affair, the entitled Northeast woman is probably best. She’s career oriented and high IQ which means that you’re financially stable, and she’s not one of those useless girls who needs a man to make every fucking retarded decision for her. The “foreign” feminine women outside of the NE may be prettier, but they’re too high maintenance for the long term.

    I still think you should go to Kiev or Moscow, just to check out what you’re missing.

    There’s no incentive for me to visit Moscow despite it’s immense subway system or so-called hot women in stillettos. I have no faith in the tolerance of the locals or the FSB and other functions of their police state apparatus. The Nigerian guy you met there is just simply desperate given how screwed up Nigeria is despite oil wealth. Maybe I’ll go as far east as Hungary, the Czech Republic, and maybe Poland, but crossing into Slav heartland will never be an option. If I want dirty looks for Ukranians and Russians, I can go to Brooklyn and do so, but with the safety of running to a non-corrupt police force.

    They exist if you roll big enough.

    If one has enough money and game, you can get their imitation versions that exist in SoCal, Las Vegas, and Miami.

    What about any plump white girls? Surely there’s lots of that where you are.

    Such girls are more like to have natural D cups and big asses by white people standards, but they’re still lacking in the porn vibes. Once you go porn, you just can’t go back.

    Like


  113. Roissy vs Hello

    The problem is distinguishing what is meant by quality.

    Quality can mean attractiveness. Or it can mean suitableness for a long term relationship.

    Paris Hilton would fit under the first definition (though she is a bit skinny for my tastes). She would not fit under the second.

    men do not need social cues to determine a woman’s quality because almost all men need to know is in her visual appearance which is readily obtainable by a split second glance.

    Men do not need social cues to determine if a girl is attractive, but they do need social cues to determine if she is a quality girl in the sense of being suitable for a long term relationship.

    what you wish men would value is not the same as what men actually value.

    Men actually value traits other than looks quite a bit, but without a minimum level of good looks, the value of these other good qualities will be lost.

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  114. Men actually value traits other than looks quite a bit, but without a minimum level of good looks, the value of these other good qualities will be lost.

    The ultimate extreme of this is David Alexander’s friend zone where females who could theoretically become girlfriends are dumped because they’re lacking in looks.

    Like


  115. Maybe 20 years ago, the very idea of having an African greeting customers at a place like this, in Kiev, would have been anathema.

    Yeah, tell me about it. Someone’s actually *greeting customers* in Eastern Europe? The world must be coming to an end.

    Like


  116. Joe T —

    The alternate theory of female selection on wedding rings is that a married man, in today’s late-marriage, fewer marriages, indicated a man not of just quality but high quality and status and power and social standing.

    Think John Edwards, Bill Clinton, Tony Villaraigosa, Gavin Newsome, David Paterson, and Eliot Spitzer.

    If only the bigshots get married, pretending to be married is guaranteed to have women all over them.

    Also, norms of monogamy are now eroded, as Gay influence over culture (in entertainment) and female empowerment present far less taboos.

    What’s interesting is that the women who flirt with guys wearing rings fear no censure from girlfriends, associates, etc.

    THAT my friends is a massive cultural shift towards gay norms (of promiscuity) just as Paris Hilton’s popularity with women is, if you think about it. [Hilton is a constant tabloid feature.]

    As Roissy points out, another data point for soft polygamy.

    Like


  117. David Alexander:

    The common attribute of such women is that they all have vaginas. In other words, one would have to avoid all women unless one has magic alpha powers.

    How would you know?

    Like


  118. hello:

    Paris? Her face has a weird shape, she is too skinny. But some guys like that. Still as far as “quality” goes she’s clearly vapid, promiscuous and self-absorbed. I brought her up to question the concept that men can tell a “quality” girl without social cues. I see the opposite: men ignoring overwhelming evidence that a woman is stupid, narcissistic, mentally unstable etc. because she’s pretty.

    You are mixing up two different sorts of male interest. A slut reputation won’t reduce a woman’s ability to attract men as sex partners, but it will ruin her ability to attract men for permanent commitment and marriage. As for being vapid and self-absorbed, I wouldn’t say Paris Hilton is much worse than an average girl these days.

    Like


  119. “In other words, it’s a woman submitting herself into worship of a male cock, and what man doesn’t long for that at some point in their lives. ”

    There are chicks into BDSM if that’s what you want.

    Like


  120. “As for being vapid and self-absorbed, I wouldn’t say Paris Hilton is much worse than an average girl these days.”

    If you date such girls in spite of their personalities anyway you may as well accept it and not complain.

    Like


  121. chic lite:
    Ringed or not, he may never have attracted anyone but good time girls.
    congratulations on completely evading my point and pulling a chic.
    If a stronger magnet attracts more metal than a weaker one, it doesn’t mean that a stronger magnet can attract all solid substances.
    who said anything about “all”? if a man attracts 10 women in a bar with the ring vs 1 woman in a bar without it, the sensible thing to do is stick with a winner.

    ^^^Not my comments darling.

    Like


  122. chic,
    he was saying that my comment is similar to what you’d say. I was rather flattered to be compared to my girl power buddy 😉

    Like


  123. How would you know?

    You learn many things from your female friends and from men who repeated bitch about their non-existant sex lives with their s/os.

    There are chicks into BDSM if that’s what you want.

    Hello, raincoater’s porn isn’t really BDSM with the small exception of some films. For all intents and purposes, good porn is a bunch of actors playing out a male fantasy where the females are hypersexualized and engage in sex acts that are geared towards worship of the male’s penis. The cock is her god, and her body is sacrificed to worship it, and it’s due to an innate desire within her to do so. Porn is for all intents and purposes what some in real life wish sex was like.

    Like


  124. Oh
    Okay thanks for clearing that up hello. I am flattered also as I think your comments add much to the conversation* here.

    Like


  125. Tupac Chopra:

    QT:

    I have friends who legitimately do not like sex and getting married is a relief for them – it will be an infrequent chore, and they marry men they can deny on a regular basis.

    Do they dislike sex in general or just sex with their beta husbands?

    If the former, have you noticed any common attributes they possess so that we men can better avoid such women?

    In my experience, there are two different scenarios that may lead to women treating sex as a chore.

    The first one happens when a girl is a virgin or has had only some brief and unpleasant sexual experiences. If such a girl enters a long-term relationship with a guy who is also clueless and inexperienced in bed, it may happen that he fails to do the right moves to awake her passion, and sex becomes a painful and unpleasant obligation for her, even though she may like him otherwise, perhaps even enough to marry him. In this case, the situation isn’t hopeless if the guy realizes what he’s doing wrong and takes some steps to correct it. (Obviously, this normally happens only among non-promiscuous, traditionally-minded people.)

    The second one is when a girl has sex with one or more extremely attractive and charming players who are way out of her league when it comes to long-term commitment. After such an experience, ordinary guys whom she can realistically expect to keep will look depressingly unattractive. If she finally decides to commit, it will likely be some poor beta guy who doesn’t nearly stand up to alphas who banged her in the past, and who just looks like a less bad alternative to spinsterhood. Sex with him may end up be a chore, and she’ll likely be more than inclined to cheat. This is one of the basic reasons why girls with slutty pasts are usually a very bad choice for permanent commitment — no matter how charming and alpha you are, chances are she’s already shagged someone who eclipses even you, so you’ll be viewed as a compromise replacement rather than a prize catch.

    Like


  126. Some women just have low libidos. When a woman isn’t turned on, having sex is like having someone stick his finger in your nose even if you like the guy. I’ve always had a high sex drive, so I don’t really “get” sexless women, but libido is driven by testosterone and women have less than men. But what Vlad says is true, which is why many men prefer to marry women with as little sexual experience as possible. Of course eventually they realize that their wives had few lovers because they have low libidos and find themselves in sexless marriages.

    Like


  127. Epic comment Vladimir.

    Like


  128. “Hello, raincoater’s porn isn’t really BDSM with the small exception of some films. For all intents and purposes, good porn is a bunch of actors playing out a male fantasy where the females are hypersexualized and engage in sex acts that are geared towards worship of the male’s penis. The cock is her god, and her body is sacrificed to worship it, and it’s due to an innate desire within her to do so. Porn is for all intents and purposes what some in real life wish sex was like”

    DA,
    I get what you’re saying but I’m simply noting that finding a woman to do that in real life is within the realm of possibility

    Like


  129. I get what you’re saying but I’m simply noting that finding a woman to do that in real life is within the realm of possibility

    While you may be right that a few women may exist like this in the real world, I would imagine that most have no desire to do so with your average beta male, and that it takes too much time and energy to find one in the first place. Plus, it’s not like these women look like porn stars in the first place, so it’s all in vain…

    But what Vlad says is true, which is why many men prefer to marry women with as little sexual experience as possible. Of course eventually they realize that their wives had few lovers because they have low libidos and find themselves in sexless marriages.

    Suckers. 🙂

    So, the girls who like sex will compare you to the alphas she’s had, and the sexless girls will become fed up with you. It seems that you’ve added to my case as to why there is no incentive for beta males to be involved in relationships.

    Like


  130. DA,
    Vlad’s comment it very astute, but a lot woman who were pumped and dumped by players eventually see the value in a less automatically alluring but more fundamentally worthy man. The quality of a relationship is very important to the sex life. In my experience if the relationship falters the sex diminishes even though the man’s technique, size etc. hasn’t changed. You know less about women than you think.

    Like


  131. i can personally vouch for the effects of the girl version of roissy’s tactic. i have a fake (sterling and cubic zirconium) engagement ring that i’ll throw on every now and then when i’m headed somewhere with a high percentage of douchey guys and don’t feel like getting hit on. works like a charm. if they don’t spot it right away, i’ll just raise my arm a bit, look down at my finger and say politely, “sorry.” they get the hint, and only rarely do they push any further.

    on the other hand, i’ve personally seen girls hit on my married friends and co-workers and push on relentlessly even after these guys point out their ‘taken’ status.

    i think for most girls it boils down to the guppy thing mentioned above (brilliant, by the way) coupled with a natural tendency to compete with other females. it’s natural for women to want what other women have, which is why we covet each other’s shoes, handbags and husbands.

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  132. but a lot woman who were pumped and dumped by players eventually see the value in a less automatically alluring but more fundamentally worthy man

    No, these women secretly long for an alpha who will desire them. The beta’s value is simply as a place filler until an alpha can be sourced or until the beta’s usefulness has ceased. I have no problem with being a platonic friend for girl looking for an alpha, but I’m not going to waste my time and energy to be a patsy boyfriend to pump her ego.

    You know less about women than you think.

    I know enough to avoid them for sex. 🙂

    Like


  133. hello:

    But what Vlad says is true, which is why many men prefer to marry women with as little sexual experience as possible. Of course eventually they realize that their wives had few lovers because they have low libidos and find themselves in sexless marriages.

    Not necessarily. As shocking as it may sound, there are still girls, even pretty girls, raised in an old-fashioned prudish spirit who have normal libido, but rationally restrain their urges and filter out players. Many of them actually like sex a lot once they meet an attractive guy whom they trust enough to drop their guard (of course, even for an attractive man who gains her trust, it will take some skill to overcome her prudish fears of sex — hence the first bad scenario I described above). Naturally, you still need game to attract such a girl, but it’s a necessary, not a sufficient condition — you also need social proof to register as long-term potential.

    Of course, I don’t deny that there are girls with bona fide extremely low libidos, but I think that the scenarios I’m describing are more frequent.

    Vlad’s comment it very astute, but a lot woman who were pumped and dumped by players eventually see the value in a less automatically alluring but more fundamentally worthy man.

    I’m pessimistic about this. The problem is that when you compare very attractive people, the attractiveness of top alpha males for women doesn’t increase at the same diminishing rate as hot women’s attractiveness for men.

    What I mean is that for men, there is only a small difference in attractiveness between girls over a certain level, and once you’re past 8-8.5, it becomes more a matter of personal taste (no man will mistake a 5 for an 8, but witness the constant haggling over the exact rating of very attractive women — “she’s not a 9, she’s barely an 8, blah, blah…”). However, for women, it’s quite the opposite. For almost any charming and handsome guy, there will be another one who totally eclipses him. Even if you’re in the top 5% of guys, men in the top 1% will have far more powerful charm than you, those in the top 0.1% will dwarf even them, and so on. At the end, there is a handful of super-alphas who literally drive women insane.

    Of course, most high-level alphas take full advantage of their talent and rack up thousands of notches. Thus, even though they are few in number, any attractive woman who has slept around a lot is likely to have had at least a fling with a very high-level alpha (she’s unlikely to have been exclusive over that time, of course). Considering that the difference in men’s charms is so immense, any regular guy can’t look other than pathetic in her eyes afterwards, even if he’s reasonably attractive and the rational part of her mind sees him as “fundamentally worthy”. I have seen this happen in practice. This may easily go on until she panics and settles even less favorably once her clock starts ticking loudly — and with that guy, sex will likely be a chore for her.

    Because of greater disparity in men’s charms than women’s beauty at high levels, this is an even more extreme situation than a guy who’s had a 9.5 but now has to settle for a 5. More importantly, it’s far more frequent situation — hot girls usually don’t go around screwing a bunch of regular guys, so a guy settling for a 5 is unlikely to have tasted anything significantly better, and he may easily end up actually liking her.

    Like


  134. David Alexander:

    So, the girls who like sex will compare you to the alphas she’s had, and the sexless girls will become fed up with you. It seems that you’ve added to my case as to why there is no incentive for beta males to be involved in relationships.

    If you weren’t so blinded by perverse pleasures in self-pity, you would understand two things. First, these are not the only options (see e.g. my post right above). Second, being a beta is something that can be fixed with some effort. In fact, at your age, the effort necessary to improve enough to find a nice decent girl isn’t large at all, even if you’re starting from a very low base — and if you just stopped watching porn obsessively for a short while, you’d realize that real flesh girls are actually quite attractive even without your bizarre fetishes.

    Can’t you see that your perversely pleasurable self-pity is based on delusions as much as all these naive views that you’re denouncing? In reality, you’re just being lazy, and people to whom you keep whining see that very well.

    Like


  135. hello:

    Paris? Her face has a weird shape, she is too skinny. But some guys like that. Still as far as “quality” goes she’s clearly vapid, promiscuous and self-absorbed. I brought her up to question the concept that men can tell a “quality” girl without social cues. I see the opposite: men ignoring overwhelming evidence that a woman is stupid, narcissistic, mentally unstable etc. because she’s pretty.

    We’re talking about attraction here, not long-term relationship suitability.

    Like Roissy said, what matters most for men is physical beauty/sexiness.

    But I would argue that men are still more capable than women in being objective in judging those other traits. Men don’t need a concensus from his guy friends, or the knowledge of whether other strangers like/dislike the girl, to know if she’s bad news or not.

    Like


  136. Vladimir:

    In my experience, there are two different scenarios that may lead to women treating sex as a chore.

    The first one happens when a girl is a virgin or has had only some brief and unpleasant sexual experiences. If such a girl enters a long-term relationship with a guy who is also clueless and inexperienced in bed, it may happen that he fails to do the right moves to awake her passion, and sex becomes a painful and unpleasant obligation for her, even though she may like him otherwise, perhaps even enough to marry him. In this case, the situation isn’t hopeless if the guy realizes what he’s doing wrong and takes some steps to correct it. (Obviously, this normally happens only among non-promiscuous, traditionally-minded people.)

    This might be true in traditional, third-world cultures, but I can’t imagine this scenario being anything than an anachronism in modern 1st world nations.

    The second one is when a girl has sex with one or more extremely attractive and charming players who are way out of her league when it comes to long-term commitment. After such an experience, ordinary guys whom she can realistically expect to keep will look depressingly unattractive. If she finally decides to commit, it will likely be some poor beta guy who doesn’t nearly stand up to alphas who banged her in the past, and who just looks like a less bad alternative to spinsterhood. Sex with him may end up be a chore, and she’ll likely be more than inclined to cheat. This is one of the basic reasons why girls with slutty pasts are usually a very bad choice for permanent commitment — no matter how charming and alpha you are, chances are she’s already shagged someone who eclipses even you, so you’ll be viewed as a compromise replacement rather than a prize catch.

    This is pretty much all women, allowing for your exceptions above.

    Like


  137. *shrugging* You can speak of your experience and I can speak of mine. My mother is severely mentally ill and made our family’s life a living hell. Tantrums, fleeing family vacations in the midst of panic attacks and suicide attempts. My siblings and I used to tell each other that we wouldn’t blame our dad if he left her and us. But he didn’t. He stayed with the family and carried on as best he could raising children more or less as a single parent. Was he “alpha”? He owned his own business and was fairly financially successful but he put up with a lot of shit from her for the sake of the family. Sometimes I wish he had taken us away from her, but he did the best he could.

    This alpha/beta, who’s a 8 9 10 matters for one night in a hook up. In the nitty gritty of everyday life having the strength to bear setbacks and work hard for your family day in and day out matters for a long, long time. I am not immune to the charm of the alpha male, but as I do not think exclusively with my vagina I look at him and see a self-indulgent narcissist who can’t even stay with one woman for more than a few weeks let alone his kids for a lifetime.

    I think I was about 20 when I noticed how the intellect and character of beautiful men rarely matched the exterior. I was a little older when I realized that two men I knew with fabulous game, who managed veritable harems, were selfish, insecure and sad. For a man to be a man is important. I’m very feminine and wouldn’t be happy in a relationship with an effeminate man. But when you have to stay up all night with a sick child, or nurse your father in his last days, you need someone who will stand by you and not run off after a cute secretary.

    There is a mythic, almost spiritual appeal in the charismatic alpha. He represents an ideal like the prince who kisses Snow White and wakes her into a beautiful life where she doesn’t have to work for it. A salvation from the ordinary. But life just isn’t like that. Life with men like that is hard because such men give nothing except their periodic presence. A woman may resent her husband for not being a superstud, but the real resentment comes when your husband is out with other women during your child’s emergency appendectomy. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind who I would want by my side.

    The guys on this blog think that women (all women) are so dense and hormonally driven that throughout their entire lives they never see the value in a good man if he is not an uberalpha. I disagree.

    Like


  138. hello:

    Some women just have low libidos. When a woman isn’t turned on, having sex is like having someone stick his finger in your nose even if you like the guy. I’ve always had a high sex drive, so I don’t really “get” sexless women, but libido is driven by testosterone and women have less than men.

    Correction: libido is driven by both testosterone and estrogen, and the relationship between the two. As any steroidhead will tell you: aromatizing anabolics make you feel way better than pure androgens.

    More importantly, testosterone in women fuels one *type* of libido: the predatory masculine variety. But submissive feminine women who enjoy *getting* fucked (as opposed to doing the fucking) are more likely to be influenced by estrogen than testosterone, IMO.

    Like


  139. David Alexander:

    So, the girls who like sex will compare you to the alphas she’s had, and the sexless girls will become fed up with you. It seems that you’ve added to my case as to why there is no incentive for beta males to be involved in relationships.

    Hello, you’ve got to give it to David here: he has a point.

    Like


  140. Vladimir:

    Of course, most high-level alphas take full advantage of their talent and rack up thousands of notches. Thus, even though they are few in number, any attractive woman who has slept around a lot is likely to have had at least a fling with a very high-level alpha (she’s unlikely to have been exclusive over that time, of course). Considering that the difference in men’s charms is so immense, any regular guy can’t look other than pathetic in her eyes afterwards, even if he’s reasonably attractive and the rational part of her mind sees him as “fundamentally worthy”. I have seen this happen in practice. This may easily go on until she panics and settles even less favorably once her clock starts ticking loudly — and with that guy, sex will likely be a chore for her.

    “Women would rather have part of a winner than all of a loser”

    Like


  141. hello:

    The guys on this blog think that women (all women) are so dense and hormonally driven that throughout their entire lives they never see the value in a good man if he is not an uberalpha. I disagree.

    Oh, they can see value in a Good Man(tm): he can be their emotional tampon, personal ATM and babysitter service all in one. What’s not to like?

    Of course, the question is: what’s in it for him?

    Like


  142. “The guys on this blog think that women (all women) are so dense and hormonally driven that throughout their entire lives they never see the value in a good man if he is not an uberalpha. I disagree.

    Oh, they can see value in a Good Man(tm): he can be their emotional tampon, personal ATM and babysitter service all in one. What’s not to like?”

    I should have written ‘…their entire lives they never LOVE a good man’.

    “Of course, the question is: what’s in it for him?”

    Not dying alone.

    Of course, marriages do break up but if you pump and dump your whole life dying alone is virtually guaranteed.

    Like


  143. First, these are not the only options

    You’ll have to excuse my ignorance as I didn’t see an alternative option.

    Second, being a beta is something that can be fixed with some effort.

    Maybe I like being a beta. Why should I try and ape the mannerisms of alphas when I’m not an alpha?

    and if you just stopped watching porn obsessively for a short while

    I actually went a month without porn on a few occasions, and it didn’t magically make real live girls any more interesting or compelling. The problem isn’t that real life girls are ugly. There are plenty of attractive women in the real world, but girls in porn are just so much more alluring and sexual. As an example, my non-date girlfriend is somewhat attractive to me, especially since she got her nails done recently, but she’s still no match compared to a hypersexualized porn star. She’s real, but the porn is just so much better looking, and the sexual attitude is so much better.

    Sadly, a porn-induced delusion is just a better high than having real life sex with your average female. Hell, just thinking about banging better looking girls at work isn’t a fantasy, but more like a screenplay for a poorly written episode for a sitcom…

    As for the fetishes, I’ve actually had the nail fetish before I starting using porn. Back when I first stumbled upon the internet, I would download JPEGs of Lil Kim and marvel at her airbrushed, yet overtly sexualized beauty along with her beautiful acrylic nail French manicures. I found various mind control groups that featured photos, but I didn’t really stumble into porn videos until I discovered how to download porn via P2P networks over my brand new DSL connection, and that was only in response to losing my virginity and dealing with the withdrawal from no longer having blowjobs three times a week. I only started jerking off at that point, and one could argue that basically destroyed my ability to have sex with normal women.

    Can’t you see that your perversely pleasurable self-pity is based on delusions as much as all these naive views that you’re denouncing? In reality, you’re just being lazy, and people to whom you keep whining see that very well.

    I’ll openly admit to being a lazy tool, and it’s one of numerous reasons as to why I’ve avoided dating and bothering to have sex. It’s so much easier to just stay at home, count money, and jerk off to porn than to go out and bother meeting women, going out on dates, and having sex with them which is rather tiring and barely worth the orgasm. Regardless, I know that I’m not well liked here, so I couldn’t be bothered to care about what the “locals” think of me.

    Anyway, one could argue that I live in a delusion, and maybe it is true. Mind you, I don’t think it’s a delusion to believe that women are generally more attracted to alpha males and the beta males who can act like so-called bad boys. This blog has delivered numerous anecdotes of women who went after alpha males while eschewing the “good” beta males that were around them. Based on that evidence along with the actions of various women that I’ve seen in the real world, I’d argue that the alpha male attraction hypothesis may have some merit, along with the idea that beta males are just filler material for girls who couldn’t do better.

    Now, one could argue that I should follow the path of other men who came to similar conclusions, but I’d contend that the best path for me is not the same path that other have taken. One of my closest male friends went to go play alpha and it worked out very well for him, but that’s because his personality was compatible with it. He could look at himself in the mirror, and he didn’t freak out about it. In contrast, I can’t become a man of game because it isn’t me. This isn’t born out of some degree of laziness or religious belief, but because I’d recognize that I’d no longer be the same person, but somebody else in an uncomfortable situation. My qualms aren’t with game, nor is it with women who like alphas or men with game as people like what they’re attracted to, and other react in different ways in regards to such attraction. I have no power of this, and bitterness is simply fruitless.

    Like


  144. Oh, they can see value in a Good Man(tm): he can be their emotional tampon, personal ATM and babysitter service all in one. What’s not to like?

    Remember, the trick is to be the platonic male friend. Once she’s saddled with a kid, you can be the emotional tampon, but you can be a babysitter at your convience, and the ATM function is more like a being a year round Santa. It’s like being the cool uncle instead of the under appreciated dad.

    Not dying alone.

    Long-term care insurance is the answer to that. Otherwise, a long metal pole touching 25kV AC electrical line can solve problems before they begin, and you may get your name in the news if you do it in the right area.

    Like


  145. Tupac Chopra:

    Vladimir:
    In my experience, there are two different scenarios that may lead to women treating sex as a chore.

    The first one happens when a girl is a virgin or has had only some brief and unpleasant sexual experiences. If such a girl enters a long-term relationship with a guy who is also clueless and inexperienced in bed, it may happen that he fails to do the right moves to awake her passion, and sex becomes a painful and unpleasant obligation for her, even though she may like him otherwise, perhaps even enough to marry him. In this case, the situation isn’t hopeless if the guy realizes what he’s doing wrong and takes some steps to correct it. (Obviously, this normally happens only among non-promiscuous, traditionally-minded people.)

    This might be true in traditional, third-world cultures, but I can’t imagine this scenario being anything than an anachronism in modern 1st world nations.

    Even in modern first world nations, there are still quite a few culturally conservative, traditionally-minded people, and I don’t have in mind just places like Utah. Also, in almost any wealthy nation nowadays, there are many immigrants from various cultures whose sex and family customs can be anywhere from medieval to modern. Many of these conservative folks hang out and mate almost entirely within their own tightly-knit social groups, like e.g. churches or ethnic communities. Because of this, and since they’re usually too bland to provide any fun material for pop-culture, one can easily live in modern society unaware that they exist at all. But they do exist, and lots of stuff that you might consider an anachronism still happens among them.

    Like


  146. hello:

    The guys on this blog think that women (all women) are so dense and hormonally driven that throughout their entire lives they never see the value in a good man if he is not an uberalpha. I disagree.
    […]
    I should have written ‘…their entire lives they never LOVE a good man’.

    I don’t think you understood my point fully. The problem with women is not that they can’t love a good man who doesn’t have a devilish alpha charm. They can, but the problem is that a woman can never really love you with honest adoration unless you’re her first love, or unless you convincingly outcharm every other guy she’s ever been with. Otherwise, you’ll be perceived as a compromise and always compare negatively to the thrills of her past, even if the rational part of her mind fully appreciates you as a good man.

    It’s an ugly observation, but everything I’ve ever seen points to that conclusion. Sorry, ladies, but it’s true — getting involved with charming players will burn you out permanently and irreparably. As with most ugly truths, this one is too politically incorrect to point out in public, and modern culture keeps telling women that it’s perfectly fine to slut around if you just make sure to use a condom. Sadly, it’s not so, and in fact, girls get burned out even without being sluts; it’s enough that they naively let themselves fall for charming cads and wake up heartbroken and with emotional baggage.

    Not dying alone.

    Well, even if the commitment is lifelong, someone has to die alone; very few couples die at the exact same moment. Old people are nowadays dying alone in horrifyingly sad conditions not because they are single, but because they are abandoned by their offspring, since the modern lifestyle and the disintegration of the extended family have resulted in them being perceived as useless relics. But that’s a topic for some other blog.

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  147. Vlad,

    A. a man may just as easily resent his wife for not being a 10. Matt Ridley noted in “The REd Queen” that in this regard most marriages are compromises, but that doesn’t mean they’re doomed to unhappiness.

    B. Most men die before their wives, so married men are far less likely to die alone than married women.

    C. no one is perfect and most people in some way wish there mate was different. But over time what you think of your mate matters far less than how you treat them.

    D. Your insistence that no girl (at all) can ever, ever recover from getting disillusioned by a player is as shallow as DA’s reasoning. Most women’s sexuality isn’t that fragile and most people move on from their first love. But if you, like he, prefer porn to real women that’s your choice.

    Like


  148. Even in modern first world nations, there are still quite a few culturally conservative, traditionally-minded people, and I don’t have in mind just places like Utah. Also, in almost any wealthy nation nowadays, there are many immigrants from various cultures whose sex and family customs can be anywhere from medieval to modern. Many of these conservative folks hang out and mate almost entirely within their own tightly-knit social groups, like e.g. churches or ethnic communities. Because of this, and since they’re usually too bland to provide any fun material for pop-culture, one can easily live in modern society unaware that they exist at all. But they do exist, and lots of stuff that you might consider an anachronism still happens among them.

    Thank you for this. It is a point I’ve brought up previously (not quite so eloquently, I’ll admit). There are pockets of “traditional” women in this country if that is what you are looking for – it is not a place where you are going to “score” so not a focus for roissy. What I would question, Vladimir, is how interested the average American man is in a woman with “traditional” values.

    Like


  149. hello:

    A. a man may just as easily resent his wife for not being a 10. Matt Ridley noted in “The REd Queen” that in this regard most marriages are compromises, but that doesn’t mean they’re doomed to unhappiness.

    You are right that many men also have unrealistic expectations, but they are less prevalent than among women. As I wrote above, the basic difference is that female 10s don’t go around having flings and one-night stands with hundreds or even thousands of average guys, but their super-charming male equivalents do, and for this reason, many more women than men have had experiences that gave them unrealistic expectations and emotional baggage. Believe me, I’m not writing this to score rhetorical points or prove moral superiority; I’m merely noticing what I see around me.

    D. Your insistence that no girl (at all) can ever, ever recover from getting disillusioned by a player is as shallow as DA’s reasoning. Most women’s sexuality isn’t that fragile and most people move on from their first love. But if you, like he, prefer porn to real women that’s your choice.

    You’re reading too much into what I wrote — I didn’t say anything about my personal life and preferences. I don’t use these ugly facts as an excuse to become a hermit like DA, but merely as guidelines for prudent caution before I lower my guard.

    You are however right that I’ve engaged in a bit of hyperbole; it’s not like no woman ever manages to shake off the unrealistic expectations due to past experiences. But I know of cases of girls who have ruined themselves exactly the way I described, and who are unlikely to ever settle down happily for a realistic man. Also, even if a girl “moves on” successfully, I don’t think a man can ever get the same loving respect and adoration from her if she is comparing him with much more charming characters from her past, although I grant you that they can still be reasonably happy together.

    I think it’s quite tragic that so many girls nowadays are unaware that messing with charming cads can cause more permanent damage than they think. Modern culture and the PC approach to human sexuality send them very dangerous false messages in this regard.

    Like


  150. Sorry, I messed up the formatting again — I can’t find the preview option. I’ll be more careful in the future.

    hello:

    A. a man may just as easily resent his wife for not being a 10. Matt Ridley noted in “The REd Queen” that in this regard most marriages are compromises, but that doesn’t mean they’re doomed to unhappiness.

    You are right that many men also have unrealistic expectations, but they are less prevalent than among women. As I wrote above, the basic difference is that female 10s don’t go around having flings and one-night stands with hundreds or even thousands of average guys, but their super-charming male equivalents do, and for this reason, many more women than men have had experiences that gave them unrealistic expectations and emotional baggage. Believe me, I’m not writing this to score rhetorical points or prove moral superiority; I’m merely noticing what I see around me.

    D. Your insistence that no girl (at all) can ever, ever recover from getting disillusioned by a player is as shallow as DA’s reasoning. Most women’s sexuality
    isn’t that fragile and most people move on from their first love. But if you, like he, prefer porn to real women that’s your choice.

    You’re reading too much into what I wrote — I didn’t say anything about my personal life and preferences. I don’t use these ugly facts as an excuse to become a hermit like DA, but merely as guidelines for prudent caution before I lower my guard.

    You are however right that I’ve engaged in a bit of hyperbole; it’s not like no woman ever manages to shake off the unrealistic expectations due to past experiences. But I know of cases of girls who have ruined themselves exactly the way I described, and who are unlikely to ever settle down happily for a realistic man. Also, even if a girl “moves on” successfully, I don’t think a man can ever get the same loving respect and adoration from her if she is comparing him with much more charming characters from her past, although I grant you that they can still be reasonably happy together.

    I think it’s quite tragic that so many girls nowadays are unaware that messing with charming cads can cause more permanent damage than they think. Modern culture and the PC approach to human sexuality send them very dangerous false messages in this regard.

    Like


  151. QT:

    What I would question, Vladimir, is how interested the average American man is in a woman with “traditional” values.

    As long as she stays wet after the wedding, I suspect you will be seeing increasing numbers…

    Like


  152. a man may just as easily resent his wife for not being a 10

    I was watching the Price is Right this morning and noted the gap in ranking between some female contestants and the models on the show. It was so bad that it came to the point where you wondered if the models were aliens, robots, or a different species. Even if the female contestants weren’t ugly, the models were just simply better looking.

    You are right that many men also have unrealistic expectations, but they are less prevalent than among women.

    One could argue that the men who don’t hold out are degrading themselves by lowering their standards…

    I don’t use these ugly facts as an excuse to become a hermit like DA

    I may have decided to give on sexual relationships, but that doesn’t necessarily make me a hermit. It just leaves me with more time and resources to do what I like and to do stuff with friends, both male and female. In other words, I’m not wasting my time with girls who say no up front, or girls who will have awful sex with me, but will eventually say no in the long-term.

    Just because I don’t pursue sex doesn’t mean that I’ll stay at home all day. I just do that now to save up money for the stuff that I want to do. 🙂

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  153. Vlad,
    I don’t really disagree with anything you wrote, but will only add that men with promiscuous pasts frequently make bad husbands.

    Pac,
    My best friend was a virgin until her recent wedding. Reading between the lines I suspect that their sex life is not going well. I can’t imagine that her similarly inexperienced husband is much good, and I can only hope that they find help before this ruins their marriage. Read “Psycopathia Sexualis” for stories of young brides surprised on their wedding nights with their husbands’ fetishes and afterwards refusing relations and sending their husbands off to prostitutes. Due to the insistence on premarital virginity many couples used to marry and find out after the fact that they were sexually incompatible. If they were lucky they’d get a quick anullment, but more commonly just suffered a lifetime of sexual frustration or cheated their entire marriages.

    DA,
    I was just being rhetorical darling. You know you’re my buddy. *hug*

    Like


  154. Vladimir:

    You are however right that I’ve engaged in a bit of hyperbole; it’s not like no woman ever manages to shake off the unrealistic expectations due to past experiences. But I know of cases of girls who have ruined themselves exactly the way I described, and who are unlikely to ever settle down happily for a realistic man. Also, even if a girl “moves on” successfully, I don’t think a man can ever get the same loving respect and adoration from her if she is comparing him with much more charming characters from her past, although I grant you that they can still be reasonably happy together.

    I think it can be said that a good percentage of high-status alpha males possess narcissistic traits. An excessive sense of self-regard, me-firstism, and looking-out-for-number-one is undoubtedly useful in conjuring the vast amounts of psychic energy needed to accomplish great things, to say nothing of leading an exciting lifestyle.

    The foremost authority on Narcissitic Personality Disorder, Sam Vaknin, has written the most extensive analysis of narcissism to date, and outlines the psychological counterpart to classical narcissists: the Inverted Narcissist, whom are usually the women in narcissist’s lives. They are the Women Who Cannot Leave No Matter How Hard They Try. He offers excerpts from confessions of such women:

    There are some very few of us who actually seek out relationships with narcissists. We do this with the full knowledge that we are not wanted, despised even. We persist and pursue no matter the consequences, no matter the cost. I am an ‘inverted narcissist’. It is because as a child I was ‘imprinted/fixated’ with a particular pattern involving relationships. I existed purely as an extension of my father. I was his genius Wunderkind…I developed into the perfect ‘other half’ of the narcissists moulding me. I became the perfect, eager co-dependent. And this is an imprint, a pattern in my psyche, a way of relating to the world of relationships by only being able to relate to one person (my father) and then one kind of person — the narcissist…
    I cannot feel on my own. I am incomplete. I can only feel when I am engulfed by another (first it was my father) and now – well now it has to be a narcissist. Not just any narcissist either. He must be exceedingly smart, good looking, have adequate reproductive equipment and some knowledge on how to use it and that’s about it.
    When I am engulfed by someone like this I feel completed, I can actually FEEL. I am whole again. I function as a sybil, an oracle, an extension of the narcissist. His fiercest protector, his purveyor/procurer of Narcissistic Supply, the secretary, organiser, manager, etc. I think you get the picture and this gives me INTENSE PLEASURE.
    So the answer to your question: “Why would anyone want to be with someone who doesn’t want them back? The short answer is, ‘Because there is no one else remotely worth looking at.’
    I am BUILT this way. I may have overstated it by saying I have ‘no choice’ because, in fact I do.
    The choice is – live an emotionally deadened monochrome world where I can reasonably interact with normal people [i.e., betas] OR I can choose to be with a narcissist in which case my world is Technicolor, emotionally satisfying, alive and wondrous (also can be turbulent and a real rollercoaster ride for the unprepared). As I have walked both sides of the street, and because I have developed coping mechanisms that protect me really quite well, I can reasonably safely engage in a primary, intimate relationship with a narcissist without getting hurt by it. It is not the tortuous existence that other wives of narcissists are recounting on this list.
    My experiences with narcissists, to me, ARE NORMAL for me. Comfortable like an old pair of slippers that fit perfectly…I don’t need anyone to take care of me. I need only to be needed in this very particular way, by a narcissist who inevitably possesses the ability to engulf in a way that normal, fully realized adults cannot. It is somewhat paradoxical — I feel freer and more independent with a narcissist than without one. I achieve more in my life when I am in this form of relationship. I try harder, I work harder, am more creative, think better of myself, excel in most every aspect of my life…I go ahead and cater to him and pretend that his words don’t hurt, and later, I feel like a fool, yet, I would rather be a fool with him than a lonely, well-rounded women without him.
    Habits just are, and what they ARE NOT are the be all and end all of love, commitment and serene symmetrical, balanced emotional perfection that is the ideal of the romanticised ‘love-for-a-lifetime’ all-American relationship dream. [Clio wept]
    (I am) terribly turned on by narcissists. The most exciting moments of my life in every venue have been with narcissists. It is as if living and loving with normal people is a grey thing by comparison, not fuelled by sufficient adrenaline. I feel like a junkie, now, that I no longer permit myself the giddy pleasure of the RUSH I used to know when I was deeply and hopelessly involved with an N. I am like a lotus-eater. And I always felt guilty about this and also sorry that I ever succumbed that first time to my first narcissist lover.
    (I feel) that the world is a sepia motion picture but when I am intimately involved with a narcissist, it breaks out into three-dimensional Technicolor and I can see and feel in ways that are not available to me otherwise.
    …DO NOT FEEL ashamed please! Should a physically handicapped person feel ashamed of their handicap? No and neither should we. The trouble with us is that we are fooled into thinking that these relationships are ‘guilty pleasures’. They feel so good for a time but they are more akin to addiction satisfaction rather than being the ‘right match’ or an ‘appropriate relationship’. I am still very conflicted myself about this. I wrote a few months ago that it was like having a caged very dangerous animal inside of me. When I get near narcissists, the animal smells its own kind and it want out…

    Well, put that way, I can’t say I really blame them…

    Like


  155. Ahahaha, I love this post! Roissy strikes again, right below the belt of women, but isn’t that where us guys want to be anyway?

    If only the pussy did all the talking, I think many more guys would be getting laid. Many guys just don’t feel enough self-worth to approach women, so any opportunity to make them approach you is just GOLDEN.

    Damn, I was just in D.C. last month and to think I didn’t even think about chilling with Roissy. My game would have been off the hook in the presence of greatness.

    Like


  156. hello:

    Oh, they can see value in a Good Man(tm): he can be their emotional tampon, personal ATM and babysitter service all in one. What’s not to like?

    I should have written ‘…their entire lives they never LOVE a good man’.

    Does slapping a different label on something change the existential nature of it?

    “Of course, the question is: what’s in it for him?”

    Not dying alone.

    If I don’t want to die alone, what’s to stop me from waiting until my old age to find a similarly decrepit woman to ride that final wave out?

    Do you advocate taking on the risk of a sexless marriage and divorce theft for 50ish years just to have someone wipe your ass for 5?

    Like


  157. Pac,
    When my divorced godmother was 45 she began complaining about the men she dated. She told us that they were all afraid of dying alone and that she wasn’t going to be a geriatric nurse. Now some women, especially older women, are desperate for any man so it might work. But everyone knows that men die earlier than women and most women marry with the idea that they’ll watch their husbands die. Would YOU marry a sickly aged woman just to instantly have a terminal patient on your hands? The odds of someone lovingly tending to you in your last days are a lot better if you have a lifetime together behind you.

    As for the sexless marriage I imagine that married guys in their forties on average get laid more often than their contemporaries. Chris Noth aside most guys in their forties don’t look that good and don’t have the money to attract PYTs. Just make sure you get a freaky-deaky woman to marry.

    Like


  158. hello:

    But everyone knows that men die earlier than women and most women marry with the idea that they’ll watch their husbands die.

    I look young for my age.

    Just make sure you get a freaky-deaky woman to marry.

    It is required.

    Like


  159. Just make sure you get a freaky-deaky woman to marry.

    You do realize that a guy with a wig doesn’t count as a woman.

    Like


  160. Tupac how old are you?

    Like


  161. on November 17, 2008 at 11:27 pm Comment_The_Wall

    Quote for today:
    “A woman is like a tea bag…you never know how strong she is till she is in hot water.”

    Back to my regularly scheduled program:
    Combining some things I have seen on this blog……

    ****
    The second one is when a girl has sex with one or more extremely attractive and charming players who are way out of her league when it comes to long-term commitment. After such an experience, ordinary guys whom she can realistically expect to keep will look depressingly unattractive.
    ****
    And the physical part gets broken…..

    ****
    Most women obey their bosses far more than their husbands. Can you see a husband giving his wife an order the way her boss would? She’d kill him.
    ****
    And the social part gets broken……

    ****
    Modern TV portrays the husband as an idiot who can’t even tie his own shoes.
    ****
    The roadmap just got replaced with a wild TV fantasy with very little basis in reality.

    ****
    Me:
    We are what we repeatedly do. So the longer one takes to get married, the better one is at remaining single… and the more changes it will take to get used to marriage.
    ****
    Late marriage gives tremendous friction to overcoming all of the above….

    Numerous other things….

    These are all big hits… combined that’s a lot of hits. Can it be fixed? Maybe. Maybe not. But not one of them is trivial. So does just scrambling the physical part finish things off? No. Is it a good idea? No.

    Like


  162. hello:

    Vlad,
    I don’t really disagree with anything you wrote,

    Spanked.

    but will only add that men with promiscuous pasts frequently make bad husbands.

    Duh. They have options.

    Options = Instability

    Like


  163. Comment The Wall – What if you are really good not at being single, but being a serial monogamist? I don’t think that does anything to prepare you for marriage, really. Not that I speak from experience or anything….

    Like


  164. Pac,
    DA likes heels and acrylic nails, and you like spanking. Just documenting the fetishes…

    Like


  165. DA likes heels and acrylic nails

    Don’t forget the makeup, tattoos, piercings well done hair, and slutty clothing. Oh wait, I just described an entire porn star.

    Honestly, maybe a 6 or 7 girl + nails and some make up and periodic heels might be enough.

    Like


  166. Pac,

    “I look young for my age.”

    Lying about your age to get a woman? So beta!

    Like


  167. hello:

    Lying about your age to get a woman?

    Only the 19 year olds.

    Like


  168. hello:

    Vlad,
    I don’t really disagree with anything you wrote, but will only add that men with promiscuous pasts frequently make bad husbands.

    Well, of course. Any girl who expects permanent good treatment and fidelity from a successful player is deluded. In fact, for practical purposes, you may well assume that there is no such thing as a man with only a promiscuous past, except for those who become physically impotent, disfigured, etc. Sadly, few girls nowadays are raised in a way that teaches them that message; they usually learn it only when they get badly burned, if ever.

    My best friend was a virgin until her recent wedding. Reading between the lines I suspect that their sex life is not going well. I can’t imagine that her similarly inexperienced husband is much good, and I can only hope that they find help before this ruins their marriage.

    This seems to me like a typical case of “scenario 1” that I described above. You should definitely take some initiative in talking to her, or perhaps even him. I understand that this might be extremely hard to do it in a way that will convey the right message instead of creeping them out, but if she’s your best friend, then it’s your duty to try your best to find the optimal strategy to do it. If she likes and trusts the guy (and I guess she does, if she married him as a virgin), then a few basic tricks and a moderate amount of pleasant effort should be enough for him to fix the situation to the point where things go on well spontaneously.

    Read “Psycopathia Sexualis” for stories of young brides surprised on their wedding nights with their husbands’ fetishes and afterwards refusing relations and sending their husbands off to prostitutes.

    Yes, but you can’t possibly take a few extreme examples from a book dedicated to sexual pathology as representative. But in any case, I agree that in a culture where premarital virginity is the norm, and any discussion of sexuality is taboo, “scenario 1” can be a frequent problem (although I’d expect that some taboo-breaking chit-chat always happens, and goes a long way towards solving the problems).

    Also, there are societies practicing non-companionate marriage where sex between spouses is usually restricted to the needs of procreation, and married men satisfy their urges mostly with prostitutes. From my reading of various literary classics, I got the impression that even some Western societies moved somewhat towards this model in certain historical periods, but that’s a complex topic.

    Like


  169. David Alexander:

    Honestly, maybe a 6 or 7 girl + nails and some make up and periodic heels might be enough.

    That’s hardly an unrealistic goal, even if your present situation is every bit as bad as you describe. And before you start yammering how it would require you not being yourself blah blah, read below.

    One of my closest male friends went to go play alpha and it worked out very well for him, but that’s because his personality was compatible with it. He could look at himself in the mirror, and he didn’t freak out about it. In contrast, I can’t become a man of game because it isn’t me. This isn’t born out of some degree of laziness or religious belief, but because I’d recognize that I’d no longer be the same person, but somebody else in an uncomfortable situation.

    But to snag a cute 6 or even 7 who will be happy to please you in the above described way, you don’t need any sort of advanced game that’s necessary to become a real PUA. You’ll just need some attitude adjustment and learning some basic principles of proper behavior, mostly about what not to do (i.e. how to avoid coming off as eager and needy). If you’re in a bad physical shape or a lousy dresser, both can be fixed with minimal effort and cost. You don’t need to have any money or trendy interests, although these can make things run a bit more smoothly. You don’t even need to work on cold approaching if you just figure out how to get into social circles where you can meet girls casually (this shouldn’t be a problem considering your existing outlandish social contrivances such “platonic female friends”, “non-date girlfriends”, etc.).

    Now, when it comes to “authenticity”, think about it the following way. Imagine a man who is socially mobile upward, but in order to join polite society, he has to overcome his existing low-class habits (e.g. bad table manners, foul language, low-class dialect, lack of social etiquette…). He will initially feel fake and uncomfortable when he’s trying to stick to proper manners, but after a while, they will become a part of his regular personality, and he will scoff at his former crass self. Men with zero game are in an exactly analogous situation. Just like a low-class man who wasn’t taught good manners as a kid will look like a savage in polite society, a man who isn’t a natural charmer and who never learned any game (either from real-life role-models or other sources) will behave in a way that makes women see him as a loser or creep. In both cases, a modest effort can improve things dramatically.

    “It isn’t you”? Well, any time you behave politely instead of savagely, you could argue that it isn’t the real, authentic, natural “you” — it’s manners that your parents taught you, and if you had been less lucky and grown up ill-mannered, you wouldn’t be betraying the “real you” if you tried fixing that to improve your life prospects. Think about it.

    Mark my words: if you don’t at least try, once you reach a certain age, you’ll seriously want to kill yourself when you realize your missed opportunities.

    Like


  170. “Yes, but you can’t possibly take a few extreme examples from a book dedicated to sexual pathology as representative.”

    Many of the cases he details are not what we now think of pathological. Many were just ordinary gays who had no choice but to be closeted, people who were otherwise normal and today would be thought of as normal. Gays aside, guys with harmless tastes (like foot fetishists) frequently have trouble finding women who are understanding and GGG. As Kraft Ebbing notes these guys had a much harder time in his era when sex was even more poorly understood by women in general than it is now. A lot of modern women don’t know that pre-come will get them pregnant. Is it surprising that they don’t know that odd-sounding fetishes are not generally not signs that a guy is a serial killer?

    I’m not saying that we live in a sexual utopia, for either sex. Maybe you think that foot fetishists are total freaks, but I am a sex positive woman who thinks that many women’s “creep-intuition” (which is a good think, btw, because men are always trying to sleep with women and
    we need to tell which ones are likely to leave us dead in a ditch) is unnecesarily sensitive to offbeat sexuality.

    “Also, there are societies practicing non-companionate marriage where sex between spouses is usually restricted to the needs of procreation, and married men satisfy their urges mostly with prostitutes. From my reading of various literary classics, I got the impression that even some Western societies moved somewhat towards this model in certain historical periods, but that’s a complex topic.”

    What about the desires of women?

    Like


  171. Why liars are so very, very special!

    People start telling lies because it gives them a specialty: they can pretend to know things nobody else knows. Truth is universal, the lie is private. It is your own creation, nobody else knows it; you become very special, the knower…

    People love gossiping, people love telling lies, inventing lies. By inventing lies, they have special knowledge that nobody else in the world has; it is their own invention, so nobody knows about it. They can decorate it. They can decorate it in different ways, they can rationalize, they can create many many strategies to protect it. And it always brings joy to people when they can befool others, then they know they are wiser than others.

    This is an ego trip. The ego is the greatest lie in the world, and the ego feels good whenever it can feel special And it is not a question of whether you are telling a lie or not, the whole question is whether the other is believing it or not. If the other is believing, at least for a moment it looks like truth. And when you create many believers in you, it gives you power.

    Truth needs no believers…
    First: when you are lying to somebody, if you become aware, IMMEDIATELY, in the middle of it, ask to be forgiven. Tell him immediately: “This was a lie, and I was getting into my old trick again. Forgive me please.” It will be hard, but there is no other way. When a habit has become very deep-rooted, it has to be hammered.

    Second: become aware when you are just preparing to tell a lie. It is just on the lips, just on your tongue: stop it then and there, absorb it then and there.

    And third: become aware when a lie starts arising in your feelings, in the heart.

    If you can create these three awarenesses, lying will disappear. The moment lying disappears, truth arrives. And truth is the only thing worth seeking and searching for, because truth liberates.

    See if you can guess who said this.

    And now back to our regularly scheduled reality show.

    Like


  172. Sounds like M. Scott Peck. Am I close?

    Like


  173. hello:

    Also, there are societies practicing non-companionate marriage where sex between spouses is usually restricted to the needs of procreation, and married men satisfy their urges mostly with prostitutes. From my reading of various literary classics, I got the impression that even some Western societies moved somewhat towards this model in certain historical periods, but that’s a complex topic.

    What about the desires of women?

    Uh…they already *got* their husband/ATM/babysitter.

    Vladimir’s example is about addressing *mens’* needs, once they find themselves in sexless marriages — the ones that you yourself admit are a common occurrence.

    To then ask, “what about the desires of women?” (after they’ve gotten a husband) is to display the shameless greed that is common for your kind.

    Like


  174. my bad on closing the comment

    Like


  175. That’s hardly an unrealistic goal, even if your present situation is every bit as bad as you describe.

    Actually, you’d be pleasantly surprised. It’s a fun battle between the prole girls who I described as theoretically ideal in the real world, the upwardly mobile women who appeal to my status-whoring side, and of course, the current set up of porn and female friends which requires no work and very little responsibility from me.

    Regardless, yeah, I could work out at the gym, and buy some new clothes that fit a bit better to replace some older stuff, I don’t think it will paper over in the long-term the fact that I’m still a somewhat social phobic twenty-five year old weirdo with weird hobbies who still hasn’t finished college yet. In other words, most girls have better choices, and even if I improved, ones who think I’m a still a good choice freak me out…

    You’ll just need some attitude adjustment and learning some basic principles of proper behavior

    Ah yes, the delusion of self-confidence and self-esteem. The only way that’s coming back is with a time machine and some massive cheating and jury-rigging.

    You don’t even need to work on cold approaching if you just figure out how to get into social circles where you can meet girls casually

    You’d actually be pretty surprised. Most of my female friends have been products of work with only one friend via my hobbies. If it wasn’t for school, I’d pretty much be alone as my non-work circuit is basically riding trains, driving to the middle of nowhere, going to the local Barnes and Noble, and lugging around my camera. You’d be surprised at how bored said female friends can become when they’re listening to me drone on about my “adventures”.

    Now, when it comes to “authenticity”, think about it the following way.

    The big difference is that in your example, it only works if the man desires to overcome and his low-class habits and feels socially out of place. If an upwardly mobile male doesn’t feel ashamed of his lower class roots and mannerisms, it’s very unlikely that he’d defer to the tastes and sensibilities of the upper class. In regards to game, if one feels comfortable and happy as a beta, is the ability to chase after women more important than being comfortable and happy? Given the choice between being comfortable and happy, and becoming the faux-alpha player, I’d much rather be me and content and give up on women.

    if you don’t at least try, once you reach a certain age, you’ll seriously want to kill yourself when you realize your missed opportunities

    So the options seem to be try and fail and remain alone, or don’t try and go about my life. Somehow, wasting money on trying seems to be rather foolish, so the latter option seems financially and emotionally prudent.

    And as for suicide, as somebody who was once suicidal, the inability to have a girlfriend was not the main source of my depression. It was the fact that I basically failed out of school, and that my chance to be upwardly mobile and respected was gone, and that I destroyed my parents hopes and dreams for me. I kept kicking down the suicide date from turning 20 to 21 to 25 to 30, but it’s unlikely that I’ll do it because I’m too much of a pussy to do it, and because killing myself will only make people sad, especially my niece and nephew.

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  176. David. You “could” work out at the gym, but you won’t, because girls would be turned off by your “weird hobbies”.

    NOBODY IS FORCING YOU INTO WEIRD HOBBIES. Working out is a good hobby in every possible way: it’ll make you feel better about yourself, it’ll make you more attractive to women (guys with good bodies attract even with bad game – trust me on this one), it’ll make you healthier. If you can, go for it.

    You’re just avoiding it because it doesn’t fit your self-image as a “weak” “beta” guy. Fuck that. Start doing different stuff and your self-image WILL change. These game forums are full of guys who feel that they can’t do something, they can’t talk to girls at bars or go to the gym or dance at clubs or whatever, because they’re “not that kind of guys” – they think they’re stuck forever being what they’ve been since high school. It’s never like that. Start doing different shit and you’ll feel like a different guy.

    And no, you’re not happy and comfortable with your lifestyle and weird hobbies. If you were, you would be just living them and not worrying about them on the net.

    Like


  177. Some advice on that…If you’re going to play the married game, pretend that you’re in an open marriage, or that you’re just having some kind of stress or something.

    Absolutely do not tell a woman that your wife has stopped having sex with you. Just…don’t.

    I’m a bit of a freak, so to me that tells me that the guy is a sucker who married a whore, and that he prefers whore type women. It’s like a big flashing FAIL. He’s living that lie because he likes it, and doesn’t have the balls to get out.

    To most women though, it says that they can marry you and then stop having sex with you after a baby is made, and you will still pay their bills.

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  178. > See if you can guess who said this.

    Osho.

    Like


  179. NOBODY IS FORCING YOU INTO WEIRD HOBBIES

    Of course not, and I enjoy said hobbies. If I didn’t enjoy them, I wouldn’t partake in them. Hell, there’s a reason why I plan my trips to go to places with rail transit while eschewing Cancun and South Beach…

    You’re just avoiding it because it doesn’t fit your self-image as a “weak” “beta” guy.

    I actually tried working out with my cousin’s gym equipment when he lived with us, and it didn’t make me feel better about myself nor did I feel any better, and I felt tired despite getting reasonable amounts of sleep. Regardless, these days, I still (try to) do some push ups and sits up every morning.

    Like


  180. DA,

    With all due respect, your non-girlfriend is typical of American women of Mediterranean heritage, and given compatible personalities, you could probably have a decent relationship with someone like her.

    Also, any AA techie with a social life can teach you how to get women with railfanning and digital photography. It’s true that my friend benefits from a resemblance to feu Isaac Hayes, z”l, but a little skill in digital photography and digital music goes a long, long way with nerdy white chicks. I can see you quite happy with someone like your non-dater, cheerily watching home-made SkyTrain videos as she re-does her acrylic nails. I even look forward to your arrest by the RCMP for the guerrilla cinema creation of the first railfan porno.

    Like


  181. hello:

    A lot of modern women don’t know that pre-come will get them pregnant.

    Actually, it won’t — see here for one study debunking this myth. Coitus interruptus is a reasonably reliable method of contraception if the man can control himself (which can be problematic, of course), especially considering that the reliability of condoms and pills in practice isn’t really stellar either.

    I’m not saying that we live in a sexual utopia, for either sex. Maybe you think that foot fetishists are total freaks, but I am a sex positive woman who thinks that many women’s “creep-intuition” (which is a good think, btw, because men are always trying to sleep with women and we need to tell which ones are likely to leave us dead in a ditch) is unnecesarily sensitive to offbeat sexuality.

    True, but unless these offbeat desires are highly disgusting, humiliating, or painful — in which case he is a freak — the man can first build the necessary trust and then introduce them slowly and tactically. If he doesn’t know how to pull this off, this can be viewed as a special case of “scenario 1”.

    “Also, there are societies practicing non-companionate marriage where sex between spouses is usually restricted to the needs of procreation, and married men satisfy their urges mostly with prostitutes. From my reading of various literary classics, I got the impression that even some Western societies moved somewhat towards this model in certain historical periods, but that’s a complex topic.”

    What about the desires of women?

    What makes you think that I support such arrangements? I’m just noting that they have existed historically in many societies, including Western ones, and I wouldn’t be surprised that even in some parts of 19th century Europe, many women had the mentality that it’s OK if they have sex with their husbands only as much as necessary to make kids, while he gets off by regularly visiting prostitutes. I don’t have any illusions that the past was idyllic when it comes to sex, marriage, and family customs.

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  182. “If he doesn’t know how to pull this off, this can be viewed as a special case of “scenario 1″

    Once in college I was making out with a boy and without warning he flipped me over and tried to spank me. I ran out of his room so fast I forgot my purse and sent a friend to get it. He apologized but I never spoke to him again. This a “for Dummies” book waiting to be written.

    “What makes you think that I support such arrangements?”

    Vlad, this is Roissy’s blog. I think more than a few regulars would only marry in Taliban-like circumstances.

    “in some parts of 19th century Europe, many women had the mentality that it’s OK if they have sex with their husbands only as much as necessary to make kids, while he gets off by regularly visiting prostitutes.”

    The literal Madonna-whore complex. Ironically, I’ve known some rather sex-phobic women who’d like such an arrangement as much as some guys here. Birth control used to mean husband and wife sleeping in separate rooms so it must have been quite prevalent.

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  183. David Alexander:

    Regardless, yeah, I could work out at the gym, and buy some new clothes that fit a bit better to replace some older stuff, I don’t think it will paper over in the long-term the fact that I’m still a somewhat social phobic twenty-five year old weirdo with weird hobbies who still hasn’t finished college yet.

    Yeah, and let me guess: if I tell you that you should get off your lazy ass and finish college, you’re going to come up with some even lamer claptrap about how you have “low IQ” (oh poor you) and how you enjoy being an unskilled loser anyway, as long as you can afford to download porn.

    As for weird hobbies, who cares? Hell, I’ve had hobbies that make yours look like Steve Fossett’s in comparison. You can enjoy hobbies as nerdy as you want and it won’t hurt you at all unless you have a habit of talking about them to people (especially girls) who don’t share your interests. And if a chick dislikes you just because of some geeky interest you have, even though you didn’t push it on her, then she’s a bimbo too stupid to bother with anyway. That’s the mentality you need to cultivate, not being ashamed of your interests.

    Ah yes, the delusion of self-confidence and self-esteem.

    If you take the effort to improve yourself, it won’t be a delusion. Your current attitude that this is impossible is a delusion, which you are extremely afraid to question — hence your defensive reflex of spewing out prefab lame excuses like a machine gun as soon as someone tries giving you some well-intentioned advice.

    You’d actually be pretty surprised. Most of my female friends have been products of work with only one friend via my hobbies. If it wasn’t for school, I’d pretty much be alone as my non-work circuit is basically riding trains, driving to the middle of nowhere, going to the local Barnes and Noble, and lugging around my camera. You’d be surprised at how bored said female friends can become when they’re listening to me drone on about my “adventures”.

    Blah, blah. More lame excuses and self-pity. You don’t even need me to point out what you’re doing wrong and the possible paths to improvement here.

    The big difference is that in your example, it only works if the man desires to overcome and his low-class habits and feels socially out of place. If an upwardly mobile male doesn’t feel ashamed of his lower class roots and mannerisms, it’s very unlikely that he’d defer to the tastes and sensibilities of the upper class. In regards to game, if one feels comfortable and happy as a beta, is the ability to chase after women more important than being comfortable and happy? Given the choice between being comfortable and happy,
    and becoming the faux-alpha player, I’d much rather be me and content and give up on women.

    First, you obviously don’t feel comfortable and happy in life, or otherwise you wouldn’t be addicted to public pity-parties. Second, what I suggested you doesn’t necessarily involve any faking whatsoever, as I’ve explained in detail. Third, you don’t need to become a player to establish a relationship with a nice, solid-looking girl who will be happy to act out your fantasies and provide an experience far superior to lonesome jerking off to porn. You’d be surprised how nice it would be to feel like a man for a change.

    (Now I guess I should take cover in expectation of a thousand word rant on how all women in the world are either frigid and asexual or can be led to orgasm only by alpha males whose inborn superiority to your poor self you would never dare challenge, and how porn is better than real women anyway, yadda yadda yadda…)

    And as for suicide, as somebody who was once suicidal, the inability to have a girlfriend was not the main source of my depression. It was the fact that I basically failed out of school, and that my chance to be upwardly mobile and respected was gone, and that I destroyed my parents hopes and dreams for me.

    Ah, please don’t break my heart. Dude, you don’t even have an idea of what it means to realistically lose hope. You’re 25 years old, not crippled or disfigured, a native English-speaking U.S. citizen, literate and cultured, and without a rap sheet or major debt. There’s a fucking world of opportunity for you out there, just waiting for you to get off your lazy ass. If you don’t, one day you’ll realize what you missed, and it won’t be nice.

    Like


  184. With all due respect, your non-girlfriend is typical of American women of Mediterranean heritage, and given compatible personalities, you could probably have a decent relationship with someone like her.

    Dude, she scored 900 something on her SATs, and she’s has the tendency to get upset easily or have a desire for revenge. She isn’t nerdy, but typical of your average white ethnic prole. OTOH, she’s really nice and sweet which helps given her desire to teach elementary school. As I’ve told my friends, in theory, she’s a good “for now” girlfriend, but given my elitism and IQ-paranoia, she’s an awful long-term choice. I get along with her, and she’s always complimenting me, but I don’t think I could have a good relationship with her.

    She’s kinda flaky, and it’s obvious that she loves drama. She needs a guy with game to keep her occupied and content. Plus, she gives that bad vibe. I get the feeling if I bang her, I’ll be trapped with her forever, and stuck with a kid…

    any AA techie with a social life can teach you how to get women with railfanning and digital photography

    Apparently, she swooned when I showed her some of my non-railfan photography. I’m almost tempted to buy an iPod Touch as a platform for showing off my photos in person. She still has no real clue about railfanning, but I suspect she may be rather tolerant of it. My female friends know about it, and it wasn’t the magical kiss of death for our friendships. It was just a unique factor that makes me a unique person. 🙂

    cheerily watching home-made SkyTrain

    Vancouver 2010 Bitch. Portland-Seattle-Vancouver trip to nail three transit systems, three interesting cities, and three cities where white girls dig black guys.

    she re-does her acrylic nails

    She’s getting her nails done tomorrow. 🙂

    RCMP for the guerrilla cinema creation of the first railfan porno

    Shudder.

    Like


  185. if I tell you that you should get off your lazy ass and finish college, you’re going to come up with some even lamer claptrap about how you have “low IQ”

    Oh dear god no. I’d kill to finish college just for personal pride and the satisfaction of knowing that I did so. Sure, finishing absurdly late may prohibit me from the best jobs or associating with the high ranking people with power careers, but it can open up the doors to a decent living which can pay for comfortable lifestyle for myself. In other words, it’s much better than nothing.

    unless you have a habit of talking about them to people (especially girls) who don’t share your interests

    Amazingly, I’ve somehow recently managed not to blurt out the minutia of the train trips except to give a brief summary of my trip for the purposes of talking about what I did, and most other people in the hobby agree with limited details if we discuss our trips with “normal” people. Admittedly, you are right about not being ashamed about the hobby.

    otherwise you wouldn’t be addicted to public pity-parties

    I’ll be honest. The pity parties are kinda fun every so often.

    You’d be surprised how nice it would be to feel like a man for a change.

    Explain?

    Now I guess I should take cover in expectation of a thousand word rant

    As I’ve said before in regards to porn, the women in porn just seem to have a hypersexual look that girls in real life just don’t give for some reason or another. I’ve had many situations where my male friends will point out girls that they find hot and want to bang, and somehow, I see nothing sexual in such women. Of course, one will probably argue that I’m influenced by porn, but somehow, I need that blatant “come fuck me” sexual look to induce sexual thoughts and fantasies.

    While I’ve said that an above average girl with nails and proper body dimensions could do, the problem is that smart girls with nails seem to be rare, and the girls would have to be really good fucks to compare with porn. Given my sexual experience, porn has been delivering slightly better experiences than a real woman IMHO, and I’ve gone bareback and that couldn’t get me hard or near orgasm. The real downside of course is the lack of a warm body to make out with and perform oral sex upon. I miss that more than real penis-in-vagina sex or blowjobs.

    In regards to alpha males and female sexuality, yeah, I’ll believe that until the end even if I had a girlfriend. When you’ve had girls openly admit to holding out for alpha males or longing for them, the theory makes a lot of sense. The only modification that I’ve made is the theory that one girl’s beta is an another girl’s alpha was dropped as it just didn’t make much sense. By that little snippet of intellectual crap, I’m some girl’s alpha, and that obviously makes no sense.

    major debt

    $20K in student loan debts actually, much of that induced by my own idiocy. Otherwise, I’ll agree that I lucked out compared to a lot of other people, even those that I know personally.

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  186. […] “Thanks for the visual” award go to supertroll David Alexander in my post about using wedding rings to game girls. I shave down there for the girls who will never use […]

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  187. hello–

    *shrugging* You can speak of your experience and I can speak of mine. My mother is severely mentally ill and made our family’s life a living hell. Tantrums, fleeing family vacations in the midst of panic attacks and suicide attempts. My siblings and I used to tell each other that we wouldn’t blame our dad if he left her and us. But he didn’t. He stayed with the family and carried on as best he could raising children more or less as a single parent.

    What it sounds to me is that your father should have left your mother and taken you kids with her. That would have saved you as well as him from that, quoting you living hell.

    And then found a sane woman. Probably a divorced one with a kid of her own.

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  188. The first time I went to a college bar in College Park, MD I nearly pulled a tall hot blond wearing my old wedding ring. (ultimately got cockblocked by her friend–wing FAIL) Anyway, not once did the topic of the ring, wife, or my relationship status enter into the conversation. Plus I found out later the girls were underage and mine was between 17 and 19 based on a certain year she said she was in 5th grade. Point of the matter is that the handful of times I’ve toyed around with having a wedding ring at best it got them intrigued and at worst they conveniently ignored it.

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  189. […] And so it goes with divorcées. Divorced men can see a boost in their attractiveness to women (as long as they avoid bringing up the ex-wife in reverent tones during pickups), while divorced women see no boost, or even a negative hit, in their attractiveness to men. Consequently, my advice to divorced men is to mention your divorced status early in a conversation. My advice for divorced women would be just the opposite — refrain from bringing it up, and if he asks, lie. This double standard is so entrenched that even *married* men will see an increase in their pickup success. […]

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  190. […] – it makes the ‘gina tingle, even if the gina isn’t aware at the time. A lady called Angela that I met in Egypt handed […]

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  191. Resigning myself to a lifetime of frustration.

    Can’t make it with the Ladies and no guts to blow my brains out.

    Death can’t come soon enough.

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