The Lie Of Locking Her In

It’s a nagging crescendo in my ear. Family is saying it, friends are hinting it: When are you going to settle down? Usually the words they use are along the lines of “Is she the one? You should think about sticking it out with this one. Do you want to be alone the rest of your life? Do you think you can play the field forever?”

Yes, I think I can play the field forever.

Why do people balk at those who choose the lifestyle of the love mercenary, of the wanderlust warrior? Envy, mostly. Sincere concern, rarely. These voices — social pressure that sows self-doubt — will influence most men. Very few men have the fortitude to live the life of Oswald Hendryks Cornelius. Marriage, and probable divorce, is in the cards for most men.

Why do men bother to get married? There’s really nothing in it for them. All that marriage offers a man can be had in a loving, long term relationship. So why? These are the best reasons rationalizations I can think of:

  • I have to lock her in because the snatch must flow.

As any dead-eyed married man will tell you, the sex is always hottest until that first bite of wedding cake. Sure, marriage might mean fewer extended dry spells, and a more consistent output of pussy, but the quality of that output is going to take a nosedive.

Fact: Once in a secure relationship (and nothing is more secure for a woman than marriage — the law sees to that) a woman’s sex drive plummets. If you like your girl to move around a bit in bed and actually, you know, enjoy getting jackhammered by your beefy breach, marriage will see to it that she reads a trashy romance novel and sighs with boredom while asking “you done yet, honey?” while you huff and puff your way to another anti-climactic climax.

Fact: Women pack on the pounds after getting married. What good is consistent sex if it’s with a hippo? No wonder so many married men sneak away in the middle of the night to jack off to internet porn.

Fact: Your wife’s pussy will always be the same. Yep, one year, five years, ten years — that pussy looking back at you is like an old, very old, friend — that you no longer want to have sex with. Familiarity breeds contempt. When you’ve memorized the length and location of every pube and the droop of labia draggle, you’re going to ache for fresh meat. For men, variety is the spice of life. If older men maintained the libido of their younger selves you’d see extramarital affairs shoot through the roof.

  • If I don’t marry her, she’ll leave me. And then I’ll be alone.

There are two things wrong with this reasoning. One, if you don’t have the confidence to score another woman in case of a break-up, then you don’t have the confidence to keep your current girlfriend attracted to you. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Think you’ll be alone, then you will be alone, even when you’re not. Or: Fear is the mindkiller.

Two, marriage is no insurance policy against being unceremoniously dumped. Maybe it was at one time, but not anymore. A woman loses NOTHING that can compare to what you will lose if she decides to divorce you. Worse, in 2009 America there is every incentive in the world for a woman to divorce at the slightest drop in her attraction for her husband. Financial, legal, social, sometimes even sexual. The god of biomechanics does not take a holiday from reality once you slip a ring on your beloved’s finger.

  • I might not do better.

Sure, but then you could lament the same thing in non-marital relationships. Look at your LTR. You might not do better. Look at your fling. You might not do better. Look at your fuckbuddy. You might not do better. Look at that old pic of your college sweetheart. You might not do better.

So… how is marriage going to save you from this fear-induced soul searching? It’s not. If anything, marriage is only going to rub your face in your testicular impotence. If your wife thinks you can’t do better, she’ll begin to treat you like women treat every man who can’t do better — shittily. Except now, she’s got the long arm of the marital law on her side, so you don’t even have the option to find out if you can do better without taking a world class ramming up the ass. As bad as dry spells are, they’re even worse when the pussy you used to tap has closed up shop and taunts you nightly from across the bed.

  • She’ll stop loving me if I don’t marry her.

Assbackwards. Women don’t stop loving men for any reason except one — he turned beta. What about cheaters? Nope. Talk to women about their most cherished loves. You’ll notice something. Scorned women harbor their deepest love for the men who gutted their hearts. Not marrying her is more likely to have the opposite effect; the more you resist, the stronger her love for you.

Sure, some women do eventually leave men when it becomes clear to them that they aren’t going to propose. But that’s not the same as losing love for those men.

  • She’ll never agree to a non-marital long term relationship.

You’d be surprised how quickly women will agree to your terms when you have her gina tingle on lockdown. And if she doesn’t agree? Find yourself a woman who does. The mere threat of leaving her over this issue will often be enough to bring her around to your way of thinking.

  • I’ll just get married when I’m older. Late marriages have a lower divorce rate.

The reason younger marriages fail more often than marriages later in life is because younger people in their 20s have more options in the sexual market. Options = instability.

But don’t crow about the benefits of later marriages. For one, older women don’t have as many prime fertile years left in which to bear children. Two, later marriages often feel more like business propositions than ecstatic vows of love. That is not a good thing.

  • I’ll live longer as a married man.

Leaving aside that this statistic may be more myth than reality, what benefit is it to you to live a few extra years shuffling along painfully in well-worn slippers and gazing longingly outside windows at youth frolicking with the joy of health and vigor? My take on getting older: It’s immortality or bust.

  • It’s the right thing to do.

Right thing? I don’t give a shit. Good man? Fuck you! Go home and play with your pud. You wanna good life — don’t close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can’t take this, how can you take the abuse you get in divorce proceedings?

  • It’s good for society.

You’re right, it is. But since when did society give a fuck about you?

  • But I really love her.

Did you not really love her before you dropped to one knee?

  • I want to have kids.

This might be the only halfway acceptable reason to get married. If you want the best for your kids, raising them in a broken home is not the way to do it. But even here, women have the upper hand. No matter how much you love your kids, if a divorce happens (50% chance, 70+% chance the wife initiates it) you are going to be paying child support for the new lingerie your ex-wife buys to sexually please her blogger lover.

I don’t see how any man could want kids, though. Kids are a complete fun suck. They don’t get enjoyable until ages 11-13, after they’ve evolved from bratty ingrates and before they’ve turned into brooding ingrates. If men would think long and hard about kids, they’d come to the same conclusion I did: Changing diapers or sex in the woods? The choice is clear.

To all those imploring that I settle down, I say: Don’t hold your breath. Yes, I will get older. But then, I would have gotten older in a marriage, too. Yes, there is a risk I could live out my final, rapidly deteriorating years in solitude. But then, marriage is no guarantee of a life lived loved. A signature on a dotted line and a jointly filed tax return does not protect you from living loveless and solitary. There is also the small matter of my inquisitive eye. Even when I love the girl I’m with, it seems that when I’m out I can’t help but admire another beautiful woman in the vicinity, and to desire her in the most intimate manner. I imagine scenarios flirting with her, making her smile and her eyes sparkle, her legs cross and uncross in sublimated autoeroticism. This urge of mine does not have an off switch.

I know that hedonic convergence does not magically manifest in the gleam of a gold ring. Life is a parade of worry and high wire risk, of love and loneliness, and no socially manufactured arrangement exists to insulate you from your dreaded fears. To imagine otherwise is beta.





Comments


  1. Among the better marriage arguments I have heard is “you’re more likely to make partner if you are married.”

    But to the kids point, I do find the idea of being an evolutionary dead-end a little disturbing.

    Like


  2. Those family and friends don’t know you very well, now, do they?

    Like


  3. A friend is looking to marry the girl who tricked him into getting her pregnant because he says that the law where they live (PA) will afford him a better chance of getting visitation/custody of his kids if they are married and split up.

    CH (or anyone else), got any ideas about how I can talk him out of it? I’ve already tried mentioning everything in the post above.

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  4. utility function

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  5. Also, sweet Glen Garry reference

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  6. The happiest men I know are all married with kids. People I know who live their lives like you (and me) don’t tend to be all that fulfilled.

    It’s hard to get respect when you’re 30 and talking about your “girlfriend” instead of your “wife.” Maybe you can be Alpha with the ladies, but respect from your fellows is damn important too.

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  7. Great post. Only a chump would get married in this day and age. Loved the Glengarry glen ross reference. Keep it up

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  8. If you’re not going to reproduce, don’t complain when darkie immigrants to your forefather’s nation overrun what’s left of the civilization they created.

    [editor: you cribbing from the obsidian kraken’s playbook? i wouldn’t. this pseudoargument is easily refuted. high fecundity is not necessary to maintain a nation’s native stock. all that’s needed is a wall and some gumption.]

    Femmy want babies.

    [most women do. but a few don’t. i’ve found them.]

    Like


  9. Women have made it really easy for us to want to not reproduce feminfistingx. Btw did you post a pic with your pooper exposed?

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  10. Hey lying dumb dyke—you do realize your sperm-donor, raised by me and my dyke partner kids are going to be messed up, stupider, and failures, because they are raised by 2 dykes and not a man and a woman, right?

    just checking. continue with your delusional rantings.

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  11. ^^^
    femmy want babies

    George Bluth once said……”Don’t give crazy a baby! Don’t give crazy a baby!”

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  12. The only valid reason is to get married is the last one you gave, and kids are nothing like you describe when you’re actually a father. They are anything but a fun suck. I could see how you might feel that way about other people’s kids. But if you really don’t think you would like having kids (and some people certainly don’t like it), then I see little reason to get married, certainly not before 40 or 45.

    Liked by 1 person


  13. on October 29, 2009 at 3:58 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””You’d be surprised how quickly women will agree to your terms when you have her gina tingle on lockdown. And if she doesn’t agree? Find yourself a woman who does. The mere threat of leaving her over this issue will often be enough to bring her around to your way of thinking.”””””’

    Yea don’t have to marry em to get em working towards your master plan.

    That is the part I don’t understand. Why not use your poon getting ability to benefit you. No need to get married.

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  14. I rather wonder how much of the decline in female libido has to do with kiss-five-second-boob-grope-five-minute-fuck-go-to-sleep sex. I mean, if the fairly precipitious dropoff in foreplay is something I’ve noticed in my six-month-long high school relationships, how bad must it be after six years of marriage?

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  15. It’s hard to get respect when you’re 30 and talking about your “girlfriend” instead of your “wife.”

    perhaps this is because misery loves company

    that aside, there’s two reasons to get married: you really want kids and/or you have career aspirations that would be furthered by having a family. everything else is basically societal pressure; in other words, people trying to bend you to their will and use your life to serve their own purposes.

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  16. Thras I am over 30. Will my talking about my girlfriends get me respect?

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  17. “It’s the right thing to do.
    Right thing? I don’t give a shit. Good man? Fuck you! Go home and play with your pud. You wanna good life – don’t close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can’t take this, how can you take the abuse you get in divorce proceedings?”

    Holy crap, I hadn’t thought about Glengarry Glen Ross in ages. Excellent!

    Great man’s movie, btw.

    Like


  18. I think CH shows a high degree of self-knowledge and he absolutely shouldn’t get married or reproduce.

    There are reasons for some people to get married, but they clearly don’t apply here.

    On immigrant birth rates: closing the immigrant gates is an excellent way to encourage lower birth rates in previously emigrant countries. When people think they can always just move away (or freshly arrive) they reproduce at higher levels.

    No one concerned about overpopulation should be in favor of anything more than bare trickle immigration.

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  19. Whether you get married or don’t it doesn’t matter. Whether you have kids or don’t doesn’t matter.

    We are all running towards the same finish line.

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  20. Ozy, in my view, the lack of foreplay and fun in LTR sex usually stems from loss of desire on the part of the woman. Guys aren’t inspired to do those things with a nonresponsive cold fish. But they will still feel the urge to use her to pump.

    Like


  21. “all that’s needed is a wall and some gumption.”

    Who’s going to build that wall? The Mexican illegals that do most of the manual labor in the southwest? The internet omegas that comment on blogs to no end about the fall of civilization?

    [editor: i know you’re not this stupid, so why do you say such stupid things? to troll? that would at least make some sense. for the price of outfitting our military for one day in iraq and afghanistan we could pay a bunch of strapping young white guys to lay down the bricks and mortar and happily patrol with high caliber weapons.]

    And where’s the gumption going to come from? The spawn of all the beta herbs that are settling down and raising babies with wifey?

    [at one time (1950s) america was filled with beta herbs who understood better how to keep a great power up and running. but now that the country is in its death rattle, no thanks to the filthyfuck leftists who have infiltrated every corner of the culture, the gumption has long since gone. perhaps my fighting words of encouragement on this small but growing outpost will spark some hope into the anemic masses of feminized men.]

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  22. Yeah, I don’t think anyone really looks down on a 30 yr old dating. I mean, assuming you don’t live in bumblefuck, Flyover. In truth, a man’s worth is generally measured by money and prestige of profession. As it ought to be.

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  23. ::In truth, a man’s worth is generally measured by money and prestige of profession

    And by how well they yodel and roll logs

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  24. Anon

    “They are anything but a fun suck.”

    I agree. Other peoples kids can be worse than sandpaper on the underbelly of your helmet.

    My son was completely different though. Annoying sometimes yes, but well worth it all other times. I would do it again if given the chance. No question.

    Though some peep will never like it. For those who don’t. Keep your swimmers in your sack, on her back or in the toilet.

    Once again, CH is full of wisdom. Even if he does ignore that people and situations are different.

    Take what works for you and leave what doesn’t.

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  25. on October 29, 2009 at 4:14 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””””’The ideal lifestyle for the successful hedonist is a loving long term relationship, or multiple simultaneous long term relationships, spiced with the occasional fun fling or one night stand. This arrangement satisfies a man’s desires for love and variety. Naturally, within the constraints of the sexual market, compromises will be made. Most men, mediocrities in every way, will have to sacrifice the thrill of the hunt for the sake of their relationships. Or they will have to offer up their freedom and chain themselves within the corrupt institution of marriage in exchange for the love and sexual favors of their girlfriends. And it is a truism that the more power a man has — the more leverage he brings to the market — the less he has to compromise.

    If you get what you want without compromising, you are an alpha. Congratulations. It is you who inherit the earth. The meek inherit your sloppy seconds.
    ””””””””””””””””
    That sounds just right man that was a good post. Yea people always act like things are either or but if you demand it how you want it you can have both or even in ways unconcievable to other people.

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  26. I am going to wear a wedding ring at my next job interviews (almost done school!) to see if there is an effect

    the el chief plan:

    – make enough money to own a big house with a guest house out back

    – marry some fucking bitch that doesn’t love me, but will let me sleep around. one that has good genes (tall, skinny, good looking, good at sports, rich parents). have four kids

    – get a nanny to raise the kids in the guest house out back so they don’t affect my sleep

    – fuck the nanny. replace the nanny. repeat

    – kidnap kids and move abroad if she divorces me

    notes

    – 50% divorce statistic is wrong. that is 50% of *all* marriages (including very old long lasting ones). it’s more like 70% of NEW marriages that end in divorce.

    – married men don’t live longer because they are married. *men that get married* live longer, ie healthy, successful, good looking men. schizophrenics and people with cancer don’t get married much.

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  27. It’s hard to get respect when you’re 30 and talking about your “girlfriend” instead of your “wife.” Maybe you can be Alpha with the ladies, but respect from your fellows is damn important too.

    You must live in a very old fashioned place.

    The most common reaction from married men to single men over 30 is “Christ, you don’t know how lucky you are”.

    Every time you phone them they have to ask for permission to do things they really want to do.

    If your now married mate seems to be avoiding you in all likelihood it is because his wife doesn’t like him hanging around single men.

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  28. Earlier, he posted the polyamorous study. In it, the researchers noted that the spate of court house shootings involved divorce proceedings in which desperate fathers had been driven to despair and murder by evil, child-stealing judges.

    I don’t find it hard to believe that being a father is great. But, the anti-family values crowd has destroyed that benefit of marriage. I tend to rub the older crowds faces in it when I hear them ask for grandkids…where was your respect for family values in the 90’s when you sneered at it?

    This also reminds me of a comment I made where I figured that he intended to ride his Game all the way to the nursing home until the day he dies.

    I do think, though, that this story would convince him to marry eventually…Go Allah!

    http://www.socialmedian.com/story/7949877/somali-man-112-marries-girl-of-17

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  29. Anon
    “Ozy, in my view, the lack of foreplay and fun in LTR sex usually stems from loss of desire on the part of the woman. Guys aren’t inspired to do those things with a nonresponsive cold fish. But they will still feel the urge to use her to pump.”

    Nice insight.

    Like


  30. on October 29, 2009 at 4:21 pm gunslingergregi

    FEminyiest talking about the browns taking over lol

    double lol

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  31. It’s hard to get respect when you’re 30 and talking about your “girlfriend” instead of your “wife.” Maybe you can be Alpha with the ladies, but respect from your fellows is damn important too.

    Mmmm…maybe, but all the married men want to live vicariously through me, which makes helps. On the other hand, I think the married guys are probably the last to be fired if business were to go bad. Because they got mouths to feed.

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  32. What about marrying for a “life partner” aka best friend and lover? Someone to share dreams with, who will build you up when you get down, and know how hard you worked for success? A lot of guys get married when their friends start… Buddies can’t fill the best friend as much when they’re busy with their own family. And the best friendships are the long ones (ie not someone you met just a year ago), sometimes

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  33. “Yes, there is a risk I could live out my final, rapidly deteriorating years in solitude. But then, marriage is no guarantee of a life lived loved.”

    By the time a single man reaches 65, there will be three single women his age for every single man. So while the quality of pussy available to single men might decrease as he grows old, the quantity drastically increases.

    So here’s your choice: you can get married and fuck one old and floppy pussy when you’re a geezer. Or you can stay single and fuck an infinite supply of old, floppy pussy.

    Like


  34. I always assumed that the divorce statistics were high because of repeat offenders, people getting married multiple times (cough cough, larry king).

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  35. on October 29, 2009 at 4:27 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””So while the quality of pussy available to single men might decrease as he grows old, the quantity drastically increases.”””’

    I just pissed myself are you happy now bastard he he he

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  36. R, agree on all points, but I’d like to note:

    She’ll never agree to a non-marital long term relationship.

    You’d be surprised how quickly women will agree to your terms when you have her gina tingle on lockdown. And if she doesn’t agree? Find yourself a woman who does.

    The problem is that the “woman who does” is very often not as beautiful as the one demanding a ring. At least that’s how it usually works out. Now, for genuine alphas and super-alphas, it’s not really a big deal to dump a 10 in favor of a 9, or a 9 in favor of an 8, but for lesser alphas and below – those who straddle the rubicon — a stark choice is often faced. Something akin to a sexual Pascal’s Wager. Just saying.

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  37. “perhaps my fighting words of encouragement on this small but growing outpost will spark some hope into the anemic masses of feminized men.]”

    There is not an infinite pool of potential to write fighting words. Your words here, btw, encourage men not to get married and reproduce. The masses of feminized men aren’t reading your blog, so they remain unscathed by your attempt to turn them into evolutionary failures.

    Read inductivists post about alphas and reproduction by IQ:

    http://inductivist.blogspot.com/2009/09/mean-number-of-offspring-for-alphas-and.html

    High IQ alphas are reproducing at the lowest rate out of all categories. Society will only become more and more overrun by what you call anemic masses of feminized men and low IQ big men.

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  38. Marriage is a religious institution, hijacked by secular groups who have no conception of its goals or its meaning.

    Marriage is about building a family and propagating your legacy in the form of children that serve as the vehicles of it. Society derives benefits from this. Women benefit primarily by being supported while they fulfilled their roles as mothers. Men benefit by having achieving their reproductive goals. Both benefit in that they have a partner in life they can rely on, especially because of social and religious expectations that they stand by each other. The ideas of romantic ‘love’ has been emphasised hugely now that women have been ‘liberated’.

    Legal marriage in an American state is signing your life away.

    If religion is not an issue, then why marry? What does marriage even mean to you? Simply settle. Why surrender the parameters of your relationship to The State? Tax breaks, citizenship for some foreigners… introduction of laws that give rights to cohabitation as marriage is much too invasive, despite any benefits.

    If you don’t really want children, then don’t have them. It is one of the gifts of our human composition that being tortured by our progeny is one of the greatest fulfilments in our lives. If you lack this impulse, forget about it. Who wants a father who doesn’t give a crap? Who wants a husband that’s not in it because he truly believes in what he’s doing?

    If a woman has any sense, she would not want him to marry her and he shouldn’t be encouraged to marry anyone. Not given the way he feels and his unrepentant addiction to sex and drama.

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  39. on October 29, 2009 at 4:33 pm gunslingergregi

    @Miley Cyrus

    Again though either or.

    Why not be 65 and have a nice stream of income coming in and pick up chicks still.

    Like my buddy who is now 68 with two housholds which do not hold 65 year old woman but hold woman under 30.

    Life is not always 2 choices lol

    Its crazy but sometimes life is not a standardized test with 4 choices even.

    Sometimes it is life to do with as you will.

    Like


  40. H, per our discussion of whetehr NotMyPresident is alpha or beta:

    http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/29/obama-beta-in-chief-in-23096-words/

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  41. If we can agree that the majority of women are fat, dirty, superficial whores, then the value of one who isn’t who also fucks, sucks, cooks, keeps a good house, plucks my stray back hairs, loves me at my worst and my best is priceless. Best believe I’m locking that down!

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  42. Bhetti, FTW.

    However, Bhetti, logic does nto carry the day. Power does.

    Gays are currently using marriage to force social recognition, rightfully fearful that, like 1930s Berlin, a society friendly to homosexuality may turn upon fags in a hurry.

    So the gay plan is to give gays as much political power as possible over straights—hate crime legislation, marriage, etc.—to thwart this turning of the societal stomach. Once safely esconced in societal sinecures, they feel they will be protected forever.

    Of course gays forget that in increasing governmental power over them, they also risk that anti-gay forces will sieze that power democratically—as Hitler did—and use it against them. They, in effect, are signing their own death warrants.

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  43. Also, why do so many sports stars get married? With all of that testosterone you would think none would. But Kobe, Brady, Jordan, Mannings, Favre, ARod… I think the majority get married, some quite young. Maybe multiple times but they do it. My lil theory is that they want that female comfort and best friend while in the pressure zone of pro sports… Where you’re a hero or hated. Sure some cheat around but ultimately they want that best friend wifey too, it seems. I could be wrong though, but bromance hasn’t caught on that much!. A good woman can support or inspire a man to great things

    Like


  44. One of my favorite reads of yours ever. Bravo.

    Like


  45. It’s ironic that FeministX can’t find a suitable husband. Feminists in the West have been pushing for years for policies making marriage less and less appealing to men.

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  46. “It’s a nagging crescendo in my ear. Family is saying it, friends are hinting it: When are you going to settle down?”

    I used to hear that drivel also. Now everyone has almost given up on it happening.

    Sweet Glorious Silence.

    Keep it up. It will stop soon enough.

    “Do you think you can play the field forever?”

    Yes, I think I can play the field forever.”

    Me too.

    Top to bottom. Top notch post.

    – MPM

    Like


  47. I’m no advocate for marriage; in fact, I openly caution my friends against it. That said, I am married, and I can tell you there are exceptions to these rules.

    First, my old lady’s sex drive has not plummeted. On the contrary. I’ve been married for 10 years, and last weekend, during a 24-hour period, we fucked six times. Hey, it was cold and raining, so we stayed inside and played newlyweds. Even during an average week, we have sex 5-7 times.

    Second, not all women pack on the pounds. My old lady is exactly the same size she was when I met her, and she still wears the clothes to prove it.

    Two important caveats which help explain our success: she is a foreigner, and we don’t have kids. Kids would kill the deal for me.

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  48. I married at 45 to a Ukrainian woman 17 years younger and we live in a foreign country with man friendly divorce laws. I have a great life and I really enjoy marriage. I’ve been married three years. My wife is a 9, blonde, with long legs and a great ass, no cellulite and the kind of body that ages well. I get sex everyday and nothing has dropped off at all. No games, warm meals and good companionship. I think I have an exceptional situation and mine is hard to reproduce. I married because of immigration laws and because I want children. Otherwise, I probably wold have lived together.

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  49. @bhetti

    marriage was Christianity’s attempt to deal with hypergamy. it worked for 2000 years. every beta got his ‘tang.

    then the mother fucking feminist commie lesbo nazi unicorns came along and wrecked it.

    old way:

    [pretty girls]
    fuck alpha
    get preggers
    get married
    fuck alpha til ugly
    get old
    die.

    [ugly girls]
    marry beta
    fuck beta
    get preggers
    don’t fuck beta anymore
    get ugly
    get old
    die

    new way:

    fuck alphas til age 28
    fuck beta (no bjs)
    marry beta
    stop fucking beta
    fuck alpha on the side
    get preggers by alpha
    trick beta to pay for kids
    divorce beta when kids are 18
    fuck alphas til ugly
    get old
    die

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  50. That is, thanks to the society you currently live in, a lot of the benefits of marriage have been annulled due to women becoming men in skirts. And women are not very good at being men, either.

    Let me emphasise: If she ‘forces’ you into marriage, you are doomed. Marry only if you fervently believe in family and children.

    Don’t marry her because she demands it: LEAVE if that’s what she expects and you don’t believe in the institution. LEAVE especially if she doesn’t believe in the institution but wants it only for status. LEAVE if she was not locked in long before the proposal. Marriage is not a tool of keeping someone with you. There is no invisible chain holding you together between your two rings. If you marry to surrender to her demands: What it is is a tool to inflict greater and greater suffering and financial burdens on you, for less and less reward.

    Like


  51. So here’s your choice: you can get married and fuck one old and floppy pussy when you’re a geezer. Or you can stay single and fuck an infinite supply of old, floppy pussy.

    this is a good point. if having the 2.5 kids and the picket fence isn’t important to you, bachelorhood is the way to go. married men tend to earn more, but i suspect that’s because they have to. i live in a neighborhood with a lot of gay men and older gay men seem to have plenty of extra income. they also don’t seem succeptible to that same pudgy malaise that overcomes many married men. i suspect that’s what happens when you know you’re being constantly evaluated by potential suitors.

    the average urban professional bachelor can maintain a very nice life for himself well into his 50s. and like miley says, once you get to the point where it’s damn near impossible to attract women below the age of 40, you’ll have your pick of everything close to your own age.

    Like


  52. Most men and womyn / grrrrrrls can’t be friends. Period. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

    Like


  53. @ lurker

    gays are getting married so that their partner gets their pension if they die. follow the money.

    Like


  54. Agree with Bhetti about the original good and benefits being lost. OK, I can see why some are against it. It is definitely a personal choice, and if your goals don’t match up to what marriage brings, it’s probably not worth it. But! What’s right for one person is not right for all. Nice to read stories of happily married guys phew!

    Like


  55. on October 29, 2009 at 4:48 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””””“Do you think you can play the field forever?”

    Yes, I think I can play the field forever.”

    Me too.

    Top to bottom. Top notch post.

    – MPM
    ”””””””””

    I mean ya don’t want to do that as a poor slob but thats always the equation in the mind of the negative.

    You will be gaming at 65 with no money lol

    Well yea prob gonna be hard then but with money. Bitches like flies on shit. Sucking them old balls.

    Like


  56. Bhetti – so wise, girlie 🙂 my biggest fear is a guy marrying me not because he is madly in love with me but for the “wrong reasons” like you point out. Please, all men listen to this!

    Like


  57. Is it too late–or even possible–to learn game in one’s 40s?

    I’d need to break my cycle of LTRs that are way past their expiration date.

    Like


  58. on October 29, 2009 at 4:51 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””’Tyrone
    I married at 45 to a Ukrainian woman 17 years younger and we live in a foreign country with man friendly divorce laws. I have a great life and I really enjoy marriage. I’ve been married three years. My wife is a 9, blonde, with long legs and a great ass, no cellulite and the kind of body that ages well. I get sex everyday and nothing has dropped off at all. No games, warm meals and good companionship. I think I have an exceptional situation and mine is hard to reproduce. I married because of immigration laws and because I want children. Otherwise, I probably wold have lived together.
    ””””””’

    Just like you can use money to have someone paint a reproduction of anything you want same thing with woman he he he

    Like


  59. This might be the only halfway acceptable reason to get married. If you want the best for your kids, raising them in a broken home is not the way to do it. But even here, women have the upper hand. No matter how much you love your kids, if a divorce happens (50% chance, 70+% chance the wife initiates it) you are going to be paying child support for the new lingerie your ex-wife buys to sexually please her blogger lover.

    I’d say it’s the only reason to get married, but even then marriage is not necessary – or necessarily desirable – for kids. Contemporary law makes no distinction between married and unmarried parents in determining custody, however, it does make a big distinction in terms of alimony and division of assets.

    I don’t see how any man could want kids, though. Kids are a complete fun suck. They don’t get enjoyable until ages 11-13, after they’ve evolved from bratty ingrates and before they’ve turned into brooding ingrates. If men would think long and hard about kids, they’d come to the same conclusion I did: Changing diapers or sex in the woods? The choice is clear.

    There is a range of instincts when it comes to parenting. Some people – including some men – really get attached to kids, whereas others – including plenty of women – just don’t have that instinct. I’m in the former category, but plenty of others are in the latter. In fact, I think a lot of women divorce because they find themselves profoundly unhappy with motherhood and want to break out of that role, which alimony, child support and seizure of husband’s assets often allows them to do. This is a serious problem that is not often addressed.

    I think differences in parental instincts could be a good thing in a healthy society, because there would be plenty of aunts, uncles and others who, despite not wanting to raise kids themselves, could still enjoy the advantages of having a demographically balanced population (it sucks when there are too many old people — especially for the old people). Also, a lot of people who choose not to have kids can get some of the emotional benefits, such as the amusing sight of kids playing in a park, without having to put in as much effort, which would work out well for everyone (except people who hate children, and IMO those people are just strange).

    Like


  60. Children are definitely the only reason to get married in this day and age. Certainly the only reason I plan to. That said, this reason is only valid if the marriage survives, and like she points out, the deck is still stacked against you. If you choose to go this route, screen, screen, screen her. And develop very tight relationship game. Otherwise your kids are screwed, and you are too.

    I am considering letting her know that I will have hidden assets overseas, and will leave the country (maybe with the kids) should a divorce come my way. I refuse to pay for her lifestyle should we split, even if it means self-imposed exile. Anyone have an thoughts on whether a plan for Mutually Assured Destruction could work against the incentives our divorce culture gives?

    Like


  61. lurker: Practicing homosexuals who want to get ‘married’ are utterly ridiculous. They despise religious values, yet want that name, transparently simply to play the equality game. Well, the point that they do have is that the word ‘marriage’ is just as ridiculous in a good proportion of heterosexual partnerships.

    Like


  62. What can I say? *S*

    Like


  63. The system requires a reformatting and rebooting.

    Like


  64. on October 29, 2009 at 4:59 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””””’Cerberus
    Children are definitely the only reason to get married in this day and age. Certainly the only reason I plan to. That said, this reason is only valid if the marriage survives, and like she points out, the deck is still stacked against you. If you choose to go this route, screen, screen, screen her. And develop very tight relationship game. Otherwise your kids are screwed, and you are too.

    I am considering letting her know that I will have hidden assets overseas, and will leave the country (maybe with the kids) should a divorce come my way. I refuse to pay for her lifestyle should we split, even if it means self-imposed exile. Anyone have an thoughts on whether a plan for Mutually Assured Destruction could work against the incentives our divorce culture gives?
    ”””””’

    You need to have mutually assured benefit before getting married if you must. Like saving a couple hundred k together and buying some houses to rent before you get married. Or never getting married but doing the same thing. She should understand that in this day and age the man needs to get something for his time.

    Like


  65. Bhetti: agreed.

    El chief: Don’t agree. The penision plan fiasoc this is because government has stupidly gotten involved in both 1) declaring what a marriage is; and 2) creating government-regulated or run “pension plans” instead of allowing for private savings plans that can be willed to anyone.

    But the pension-plan thing is a red herring, because gay rights activists push for marriage for social reasons. Some people have proposed the domestic partner rule (we have it in NYC), where domestic partners get your benefits regardless of marriage status; yet gay rights are pushing hardest in deep blue nyc.

    Like


  66. on October 29, 2009 at 5:00 pm kevin de bruxelles

    so right about women —
    so wrong about kids.

    It is stupid to get married if you are not planning on having kids. But having kids — for those that want them — makes the very real shortcomings of marriage more than worth bearing. But you do have to raise them right or things can get real ugly later on.

    Like


  67. on October 29, 2009 at 5:00 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””’Lucifer
    The system requires a reformatting and rebooting.
    ”””””

    If ya think about it the sytem is quit easy. I have already been offered to move in and only expected to pay utilities she will be buying the food and paying rent and cooking and cleaning. Plus getting second job. Not to bad a deal.

    Like


  68. on October 29, 2009 at 5:02 pm gunslingergregi

    Plus haven’t even brought out the a material for dick game lol

    Like


  69. Gooch

    “Is it too late–or even possible–to learn game in one’s 40s?”

    Not sure, but it is your only hope.

    Playing Golf and watching team sports on tv certainly won’t get you where you want to be.

    Give it a shot.

    – MPM

    Like


  70. Gooch: 40s is pretty young. Go for it. Life expectancy is at somewhere near 80 these days.

    50year old man the other day who was going to have another cardiac bypass surgery: ‘when can I go back to my yoga, exercise and sex?’

    [He was looking good. Reasons he needs it: smoking, hereditary syndrome of too much fat in his blood even though he isn’t fat.]

    Like


  71. on October 29, 2009 at 5:06 pm Not for public

    >that aside, there’s two reasons to get married: you really want kids and/or you have career aspirations that would be furthered by having a family. everything else is basically societal pressure;

    Except that the second is societal pressure as well.

    I’m not entirely sure whether being married is helpful to become partner, either.

    Like


  72. on October 29, 2009 at 5:07 pm gunslingergregi

    Plus she tells me she loves me while I don’t have to return the favor.

    Like


  73. Without societal constraints on divorce and stuff, marriage is all about the wedding, the girl’s (and the gay mens’) I’m a pretty princess moment.

    Like


  74. on October 29, 2009 at 5:15 pm Not for public

    > Plus she tells me she loves me while I don’t have to return the favor.

    Wait I’m supposed to return that? Too bad I don’t really belove in the whole concept.

    Like


  75. No point in getting married if you don’t want to. But your facts are off. You mention that married men live longer (a lot longer: it gives the same benefit as not smoking). But they also have twice the money of unmarried couples (richer); are much happier; have more and better sex; and are healthier (even though unhealthy men tend to marry more often). This is backed up by lots of research conducted on thousands of people in multiple countries. Example: Marital Status and Happiness: A 17-Nation Study, Steven Stack and J. Ross Eshleman, 1998. This is why economists estimate a happy marriage is worth $100,000/year. (Cohabitation gives a small boost to happiness, though not as much as marriage, and does not make you healthier or wealthier). Seems to me like you’d be a fool not to marry, assuming you found the right person.

    Also, as faithfulness in women seems to be important to you, note that wives are 5 times less likely to cheat than girlfriends (even if you are living together) See Sexual Exclusivity among Dating, Cohabiting, and Married Women, Renata Forste and Koray Tanfe, 1998. This is true when controlling for age, race, education, etc.

    Like


  76. Ok..I’m confused.

    Don’t get married. Got it. But you ridicule 30-40-ish something cougars who never found that man to marry them? And have kids.

    Sooo, are these women just shit out of luck since the cads of the world are dating younger women?

    [editor: double standards are a bitch, and then you die.]

    Like


  77. There’s something to be said about open relationships…

    Like


  78. on October 29, 2009 at 5:18 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””””Backdoor Man,
    First, my old lady’s sex drive has not plummeted. On the contrary. I’ve been married for 10 years, and last weekend, during a 24-hour period, we fucked six times. Hey, it was cold and raining, so we stayed inside and played newlyweds. Even during an average week, we have sex 5-7 times.”””””””

    That is the pretty lie. Woman need sex with the right man on a level that is beyond men.
    Of course a womans sex drive doesn’t do down he he he

    Like


  79. askjoe, and the symbolism. Human beings, despite what Hollywood might tell you, are very suceptible to symbolic and ceremonial power translating into actual power.

    Or, another way to put it is: Power perceived is power acheived (from Ernie Hudson in the underrated The Subsitute).

    Example: Lucky Luciano, Mafia Don of Dons from the late 1920s onwards. Luciano won a brutal intra-mafia war for power to take the seat. Luciano wanted to reform the Italian Mafia to be more like a corporation, and dispense with the religious/superstituious vows and rules, as well as removing the “chief of chiefs” ideal and reducing his own pwoer to increase organization and money while reducing bloodshed. Luciano also wanted to integrate all ethnic gangs into the corporation, increasing profitability. He was assisted in this idea by Meyer Lansky, his life long friend,a Jewish gangster.

    However, Luciano found that many Italian underlings not only genuinely liked the blood oaths, etc., but without those ceremonies of making people made men, pricking fingers, etc., the “young turks” were more likely to rebel.

    Also, many members of the ethnic gangs resented working with non-members–Jews distrusted Italians and vice versa, not to mention marginalized Irish and Black gangs, who resented Italian -Jewish hegemony.

    So Luciano reluctantly continued the ruse of sole-Italian dominance in front of the 5 familes, etc., including blood oaths, swears, made men ceremonies to keep the Mafia in line. “Meyer has no vote” became an aphorism among Italian mobsters, desptie the fact that Lansky was Luciano’s right hand man in all transactions.

    Ceremonial power succeeded in controlling people when logic couldn’t.

    Like


  80. dude why don’t you just start a roosh-type of lifestyle (see:traveling)?

    i mean since your getting old just travel around and enjoy. you know shit like that. if you have a strict job then just do it whenever you can.

    Like


  81. In terms of ‘following the money’, gay divorce is very high where its established:
    http://www.narth.com/docs/sweden.html

    Check thisout:

    Divorce laws were created to ensure a fair split of all the assets of the union, including allowances for the emotional support a non-working partner gives to the other.

    Oh, dear, the word ‘fair’ here. Why do homosexual people do this to themselves?

    In fact, the whole document I’ve quoted that from is tragic hilarity: http://www.loveandpride.com/InformationCenter/Tips.aspx?categoryId=8

    Like


  82. economists estimate a happy marriage is worth $100,000/year

    yes. and a winning lottery ticket is worth a million dollars, but that doesn’t make playing the lottery a sensible proposition.

    Like


  83. Anonymous, maybe the ladies shouldn’t have destroyed marriage for men.

    To quote Ms. Hoover “This is nothing but dead, white male-bashing from a PC thug. It’s women like you that keep the rest of us from landing a husband.”

    Like


  84. on October 29, 2009 at 5:36 pm jonathanjones02

    I understand these points, and you are right about divorce laws and the destructive nature of a lot of feminism to society as a whole.

    All the same, however, it seems to me that a long marriage with children is the best human arrangement – and “alphas” that all men would want to be can certainly partake…..I think, for example, of Paul Newman.

    That this has become harder does not make it less satisfactory.

    Michael C. was right – the only true wealth in this world is children. And marriage with a good woman should be the ideal, if society is to prosper.

    Like


  85. JR, most of these studies don’t separate the happy vs. unhappy married people, so the benefits I listed are regardless of how happy the marriage is. For studies that do include that, (such as the effect of marriage on health) even unhappy marriages seem to be better than being single, especially for men (ie an unhappy marriage makes a woman less healthy, but a man is more healthy even in an unhappy marriage than single).

    Also, your chances of having a happy lasting marriage are about 25% (higher if college educated, white, religious or with married parents) which is a lot better than the typical lottery odds.

    Like


  86. on October 29, 2009 at 5:44 pm Not for public

    I would almost single handedly attribute that to positive selection unless you can show that men get HEALTHIER once they marry (for which there may actually be a few plausible reasons).

    Like


  87. on October 29, 2009 at 5:51 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””’watching team sports on tv certainly won’t get you where you want to be.””””””””

    Yea been watching tv and its pretty disgusting with the brainwashing and adds for feminine products and identity theft commercials. Will be quitting again soon.

    Watching cape fear though and I think movies can have something to offer.

    Like


  88. This was a very jaded post, but unfortunately I think it’s representative of the modern view of marriage.

    Like


  89. how much is a single life worth as an alpha?

    but back to marriage…

    so, i have a 25% chance of having a happy marriage, and that is worth $100,000, so the expected value is $25,000 (probability x value).

    and i have a 75% chance of having an unhappy marriage, and I have to give the bitch half my shit. let’s call that $210,000 over a seven year marriage ($30,000/year savings/mortgage). expected value is -$157k

    hm…

    Like


  90. first, let me say that i’m not opposed to marriage, but i am in favor of people going into it with a clear head. and that means debunking some of these arguments for marriage.

    most of these studies don’t separate the happy vs. unhappy married people, so the benefits I listed are regardless of how happy the marriage is

    then the question becomes how much extra money is it worth to be unhappy. not to mention, as i said earlier, i’m sure a big reason why married people earn more is because they have to, so how much of that extra income is going to contribute to your happiness and how much of it is funding your being married. this is especially the case for men as they are likely going to earn more than their wives.

    Also, your chances of having a happy lasting marriage are about 25% (higher if college educated, white, religious or with married parents) which is a lot better than the typical lottery odds.

    fine, it’s better, but 25% is far from stellar. would you invest in an annuity that had a 75% of not paying off after five years?

    Like


  91. first, let me say that i’m not opposed to marriage, but i am in favor of people going into it with a clear head. and that means debunking some of these arguments for marriage.

    most of these studies don’t separate the happy vs. unhappy married people, so the benefits I listed are regardless of how happy the marriage is

    then the question becomes how much extra money is it worth to be unhappy. not to mention, as i said earlier, i’m sure a big reason why married people earn more is because they have to, so how much of that extra income is going to contribute to your happiness and how much of it is funding your being married. this is especially the case for men as they are likely going to earn more than their wives.

    Also, your chances of having a happy lasting marriage are about 25% (higher if college educated, white, religious or with married parents) which is a lot better than the typical lottery odds.

    fine, it’s better, but 25% is far from stellar. would you invest in an annuity that had a history of defaulting after five years 75% of the time? not unless you had some significant reason to believe that your particular annuity could beat the trend.

    Like


  92. on October 29, 2009 at 6:07 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””’fine, it’s better, but 25% is far from stellar. would you invest in an annuity that had a 75% of not paying off after five years?””””””

    Why you have create the annuity first. Think of it as the new dowry system. A woman must prove worth before getting the privelage of marrying you.

    Like


  93. on October 29, 2009 at 6:12 pm gunslingergregi

    or

    until they unequivically prove otherwise.

    Like


  94. “there is a risk I could live out my final, rapidly deteriorating years in solitude. “

    It is to be devoutly wished. Ever see old married couples? Their main pleasure in life seems to be picking on each other. No thanks!

    If I get lonely: I’ll buy a dog.

    Like


  95. The only thing you “lock in” by signing a government marriage contract is the giving away of your life savings, and your own lifetime alimony obligation.

    Like


  96. A good marriage is one of the top factors in raising your happiness. It is well worth having. (See Jonathan Haidt’s The Happiness Hypothesis, the best book on the good life out there.)

    [editor: i don’t believe those studies. did they control for cohabiting couples? unmarried loving LTRs? the happiness of the men before they got married? as i understand it, there are a lot of problems with these studies claiming marriage is good for the happiness and health of a man. for one thing, if it was so great for men, but less so for women, why are women the ones pressing for the ring with the most gusto?]

    Kids are a bit more complicated. They tend to slightly decrease happiness measured from moment to moment, but people tend to list them as their greatest satisfaction in life. Psychologists like Paul Bloom think this has to do with divisions between our long term self and our short term self. See here.

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  97. here’s the other thing about all the pro-marriage arguments: they are highly propositional.

    married men may tend to be healthier and richer, because they tend to have fewer bad habits and make smarter choices with their money. instead of going out and blowing cash four of five nights a week, drinking whiskey, and raw-dogging skanks, the married man goes home and spends a quiet night with his wife and kids. these days, however, it seems just as likely that you’ll marry a woman who will cajole you into buying a house you can’t afford, wrack up excessive credit card debt, and give you an ulcer with her constant nagging and shit-testing. and when her gina stops tingling because life has become mundane, she leaves you with a bill for 60% of your take-home pay.

    whether or not you will benefit from marriage is highly contingent on the girl you are marrying.

    Like


  98. P.S. If you marry a woman with a college education the divorce rate is only 17%. IIRC, if you marry a regular churchgoer the divorce rate is only 12%.

    Like


  99. ab

    “You mention that married men live longer (a lot longer: it gives the same benefit as not smoking).”

    Check this out:

    ‘I’VE BEEN doing some sums following the recent medical assertion that every cigarette you smoke costs you eleven minutes of your life. Let’s take somebody who is aged 100 and has smoked a modest ten a day since the age of 15. That’s 310,250 cigarettes or a total of 3,412,750 minutes of lost time. In more understandable terms, that means this person would have lived an extra six and a half years if he-she hadn’t ever smoked. My question is: would that be much of a bonus?’ Columnist James Whitaker, The Mirror, January 2000″

    Is the last 6 and a half years of your life worth misery?

    – MPM

    Like


  100. The brutal truth.

    Like


  101. Women with high sociosexuality tend to be much more dissatisfied with their marriages and men’s satisfacation with the marriage is largely determined by the woman’s satisfaction. So, don’t marry a slut.

    Like


  102. el chief: “married men don’t live longer because they are married. *men that get married* live longer, ie healthy, successful, good looking men.”

    You know how that statistic came about? You’re gonna laugh: it came about because they EXCLUDED PEOPLE WHO GET DIVORCED. Divorced people die like flies. People who stay married live about as long as people who never get married. But, since marriage has a 50% probability (or more) of divorce, your mean lifespan as a permanently single person is substantially longer than any married person subject to the laws of probability.

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/200902/no-getting-married-does-not-make-you-live-longer

    Like


  103. on October 29, 2009 at 6:26 pm Wilbur Simonson

    All my male relatives over the age of 30 are married and none has divorced. Yet, none has ever told me that marriage is a good deal or encouraged me to get married. The deafening silence is all the condemnation of marriage I need.

    Like


  104. It is to be devoutly wished. Ever see old married couples? Their main pleasure in life seems to be picking on each other. No thanks!

    The ones I see currently seem to put their top priority as caring for each other and giving each other mutual happiness. A couple that lasts but is miserable seems to be a minority.

    The unseen variables is that so many marriages don’t last. These couples are also from times long gone, when people knew how to make it work.

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  105. i don’t believe those studies.

    I like how whenever empirical study contradicts your world view, rather than inject some nuance, you just deny deny deny.

    [editor: i didn’t feel like looking up the links, but others in this thread have. see the commenter who posted a link that the marriage-happiness for men study neglected to include the marriages that ended in divorce.]

    Like


  106. This, was your crowning moment of awesome.

    Like


  107. on October 29, 2009 at 6:56 pm Stud Dynamite

    Still doesn’t give the definite answer regarding kids. You could try baby mama game for a while, but what if another man comes into her life and as beta as it is, raises your kids. That would suck, I think. Mystery is sort of doing that (baby mama game), wonder how that works out for him.

    Like


  108. on October 29, 2009 at 7:01 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””””The Lie Of Locking Her In
    October 29, 2009

    It’s a nagging crescendo in my ear. Family is saying it, friends are hinting it: When are you going to settle down? Usually the words they use are along the lines of “Is she the one? You should think about sticking it out with this one. Do you want to be alone the rest of your life? Do you think you can play the field forever?”

    Yes, I think I can play the field forever.

    Why do people balk at those who choose the lifestyle of the love mercenary, of the wanderlust warrior? Envy, mostly. Sincere concern, rarely. These voices — social pressure that sows self-doubt — will influence most men. Very few men have the fortitude to live the life of Oswald Hendryks Cornelius. Marriage, and probable divorce, is in the cards for most men.
    ””””””””

    Kind of like my dad was worried about me giving my woman in indo money when I was considering giving her 50k when I had a 100k in bank. When in reality he was worried about it working out and never seeing me again. Worste descision I ever made was listening to his failure talk.

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  109. Yeah, he’s right. How can you tell that it’s marriage that makes people happier and healthier? Responsible people tend to get married and take care of themselves; that’s enough to create a pretty significant correlation without necessarily having causation.

    @Anon– I dunno. People tend to get bored of having sex with the same person all the time, yes? Which would manifest in women by being a cold fish and in men by being in it purely for their orgasm. Once it’s started, the two would feed on each other in a vicious cycle.

    @Alex– TVTropes?

    Like


  110. on October 29, 2009 at 7:05 pm Keep a Movin' Dan

    You missed one reason for marriage: dating gets harder has you get older. Given your preferences, I don’t know why you’d rule out marrying a hot foreign 20-year old in middle age for the sake of having someone relatively young to bang in old age. Write a will and pre-nup that dictates she gets any leftover savings if and only if you die of medically-verified natural causes.

    That’s just for your preferences, though. I, on the other hand, will likely get married a few years down the road in service of the great work of passing my genes on to the next generation.

    Like


  111. do you do Sperm bank stuff? I’d love to see or hear how you’d fill out the questionare.

    Like


  112. I don’t see a lot of good younger women, but things get better and better with my wife.

    Like


  113. Thursday, the problem is that we’ve learned over time that people constantly concoct “studies” to prove whatever assertion they wish, simply by improperly controlling variables, choosing bad samplings, confusing correlation with causation, etc. We don’t have time in life to go through each one and thoroughly investigage why it’s wrong. It would be a full time job for life to do so. So, we use instinct.

    Maybe you should also ask why you believe amateurish sounding “studies” whenever they support your world view.

    Like


  114. femx

    Femmy want babies.

    Women need to start, or resume, offering men more in return for supporting their babies and themselves.

    Like


  115. on October 29, 2009 at 7:40 pm anotheroldguy

    Wise advice. Don’t do it. Don’t marry. Ever ever ever ever. One man’s opinion – granted, but from a different perspective from the mostly young community commenting here.

    Married at 24. Now 51. 2 daughters grown – med school and the other prof. employed. Provider beta extraordinare that this site so loves to deride (deservedly so, unfortunately). 0n an alternative life path, I could now be comfortably living a life of leisure in the Carribean somewhere after a working career of pulling in anywhere from a couple hundred k to pushing a half million a few years (reasonably good money in flyover country). Instead, my life has been fucking Big House, Bigger House #1, Bigger House #2, fucking private school tuition, fucking Ivy League college tuition, countless fucking SUVs, Golden Retrievers, fucking yard service, fucking pool service, fucking decorators and fucking so on.

    In return, not much. A sexless parasitical roommate. Not a totally unpleasant person, but I figure it would be an even trade to replace with a dog and a housekeeper – and it would be about 200k/yr cheaper – and probably a more pleasant existence for me.

    If I knew at 24 what I know now, I would never have done it. Not even close. Do not repeat my mistakes. I do not think my situation is much different from many of my similarly situated friends and acquaintances.

    Not looking for advice, sympathy or anything else – just one guy’s testimony that you young guys need to listen to him on this.

    Like


  116. on October 29, 2009 at 7:48 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””Instead, my life has been fucking Big House, Bigger House #1, Bigger House #2””’

    That is pretty much what I have seen of married couples always biggest house you can possibly afford but nothing else.

    Like


  117. on October 29, 2009 at 7:50 pm gunslingergregi

    Well anotheroldguy you would be surprized I think how cheap it is to go retire in another country if yea make over 200k you could save money required pretty quick. Not like your dead yet.

    Like


  118. Looking over Haidt’s review of the literature, married people tend to be much more or much less happy than unmarried people, including those living together. That would be a pretty weird selection effect if that were the cause. The simpler explanation is that marriage acts as an amplifier, making good relationships better and bad relationships worse.

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  119. While I’m not looking to get married anytime soon, I do want to have kids 10-15 years down the line.

    I had a very good relationship with my father and I cherish that memory. He has a life that I want to emulate. A hard partying youth(he was a fighter pilot) and then finally settling down with a woman 10 years his junior.

    I think raising a kid is an experience that I want to have.

    Call me a chump if you will.

    Like


  120. on October 29, 2009 at 7:58 pm Anonymous Jankinz

    There does come a time when shagging random barroom sluts gets old, no matter how hot they are. Each face begins to merge with the others, and sex becomes empty. A purely physical act similar to jerking off.

    As we age, the dating pool begins to dry up. The good women get taken off the market by high status men that are willing to commit, and soon all that is left are the sluts, psychos, and other assorted losers. A truly good woman that is beautiful inside and out is hard to find, and she WILL have options, including the option to leave and get someone else if you don’t commit.

    Older men that have never married are looked down upon by decent women for the same reasons that that decent men would frown upon a never married 40 year old woman. When people see this they ask themselves, what’s wrong with this person? What is it about them that makes them unable or unfit to be in a committed relationship with a high status member of the opposite sex?

    If you want to live a life of perpetual bachelorhood, then that’s your choice, and this is the way to do it. But if you want a life of lasting love and companionship, then don’t listen to him on this one.

    Like


  121. on October 29, 2009 at 7:58 pm The Fifth Horseman

    FemX wrote :

    Femmy want babies.

    Go to a sperm bank. You will never get genes of such high quality through traditional means.

    LSB wrote :

    My lil theory is that they want that female comfort and best friend while in the pressure zone of pro sports…

    Explain your understanding of what the difference is between a girlfriend and the legal contract of marriage.

    Like


  122. ” if it was so great for men, but less so for women, why are women the ones pressing for the ring with the most gusto?”

    On the other hand, it is men who tend to be crushed by divorce. It isn’t just the alimony and the child support. Men are often blindsided and emotionally crushed by divorce.

    Like Lupo was saying though those studies generally lump divorced people as “single”. People who never get married may not be particularly unhappy.

    Like


  123. Anyone looking to get married should read what anotheroldguy wrote. It is solid gold. Forward to your friends too

    Like


  124. I don’t see how any man could want kids, though. Kids are a complete fun suck. They don’t get enjoyable until ages 11-13, after they’ve evolved from bratty ingrates and before they’ve turned into brooding ingrates.

    Nah. They’re great from day one. I never would have believed this before I had them, but what they say is true – they’re different when they’re your own.

    Other people’s kids still irritate the shit out of me, but not mine. =)

    The only valid reason is to get married is the last one you gave, and kids are nothing like you describe when you’re actually a father. They are anything but a fun suck. I could see how you might feel that way about other people’s kids.

    Exactly right.

    My son was completely different though. Annoying sometimes yes, but well worth it all other times. I would do it again if given the chance. No question.

    Also right.

    Like


  125. on October 29, 2009 at 8:30 pm Don't Ask, Don't Tell

    As a woman and a socially conservative feminist, I agree with the main “thrust” of the post – that marriage in the Western world has become obsolete, unless you have kids, but probably most people shouldn’t be having kids due to lack of qualifications, ethics and good parenting skills.

    There was a time when people who chose not to marry represented the renounced elite of society who dedicated themselves to service to humanity or God.

    Unfortunately in the post-modern West, people who chose not to marry are not dedicating themselves to anything but their libido.

    So, yeah, I agree with the no marriage part. But not the other part.

    Like


  126. on October 29, 2009 at 8:42 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””’Unfortunately in the post-modern West, people who chose not to marry are not dedicating themselves to anything but their libido.””””

    Well its fortunate if it brings about the death nell of slavery. The only problem is the educated seem to really enjoy feeling better than someone else even with no concrete evidense. Plus they like to create slaves. Kind of a viscious circle since at the same time they are slaves themselves without being smart enough to realize it.

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  127. This should have gone without saying, but Thursday’s persistence indicates otherwise. In addition to the problem sited by the prior commenter (regarding the inclusion of divorced people in the unmarried category), the other problem with the studies on the effect of marriage on happiness is that, in a society that has strongly encouraged people to get married, the “never married” category inevitably includes a shitload of rejects. Being a reject tends to negatively impact happiness, so that’s going to distort any statistical analysis, and I don’t see how you could “control” for this variation. But that doesn’t mean that one who chooses not to marry, despite having options, would be less happy as a result.

    Like


  128. H–

    The reason younger marriages fail more often than marriages later in life is because younger people in their 20s have more options in the sexual market. Options = instability.

    This oft repeated claim from the evidence by feminists and their mangina supporters seems to be an artifact of mixing the sexes together.

    In the large Australian study recently cited here, surveying the characteristics of 2500 couples and then following up on 2000 of them (presumbably the ones who agreed to again answer a lot of questions) 5 years later, they found that when the man was under 25 at time of marriage (or I believe living together) the union was mor likely to break up as compared to him being in the 25-35 range at time of first marriage. However girls under 25 at time of marriage were almost exactly as likely to remain married 5 years later as those 25-29 at time of marriage.

    Myself I’d guess that in America marriage with the girl under 22 is more likely to lead to divorce, above that less likely until 30 or so, then again more likely. She needs some period of independence from her family and living at home to feel she’s lived independently and seen what she can do, to feel happy with her choice of men in most cases. On the other hand, girls that wait forever to get married, past 30, are 1) hard core feminists; 2) unrealistic about their mate market value, for commitment purposes; 3) seriously jaded p*ssy.

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  129. PS, I googled down the PDF of the study, from the limited info the news articles gave.

    Like


  130. on October 29, 2009 at 9:13 pm Conservative Cock

    If FeministX wants kids, she can have kids with me.

    She will sit on the bed while I jerk off in front of her. I will then paint her face with my ejaculate. She can wipe the goo from her face and put it in her pussy lips.

    Like


  131. H & all–

    As one gets older one does enjoy not only love with a girl but living with her, and making a life together. I know I do and have.

    It’s the conditions of marriage, and of no fault female divorce and it’s huge one sided extractions, that are the problem. That’s why living together, or if you want to have children, marriage with a prenup that makes the financial arrangement of marriage upon divorce as close to what it would be if living together as you can manage, the way to go.

    As well though for alpha men, the feminist Western woman’s expectation or demand really on penalty of divorce theft, of total one woman fidelity post marriage is simply unreasonable, deeply unnatural, and utterly ahistorical.

    An alpha man, particular the high achieving, leading, and by the way also handsomely providing as a side effect, sort of non thuggish alpha man deserves to be able to have some other trim on the side occasionally, if done discretely, and provided he still shows his wife (and kids of course) loving attention, affection and sex. Sexually or emotionally abandoning his wife, if she’s worked to remain attractive is not ok.

    Even more so though it’s not ok when women sexually abandon their husbands, or blow up like sea cows so that in effect they have. What a pig to say even more? Well I embrace double standards, and in the hypergamous usual case where he’s the primary provider, then yes even more so. He’s providing in return for ready loving or at least affectionate sex first of all. Maybe kids too but lets not kid ourselves. Women far more often want kids than men do, or more than all but the most empire building and dynastic of men do.

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  132. “[at one time (1950s) america was filled with beta herbs who understood better how to keep a great power up and running. but now that the country is in its death rattle, no thanks to the filthyfuck leftists who have infiltrated every corner of the culture, the gumption has long since gone. perhaps my fighting words of encouragement on this small but growing outpost will spark some hope into the anemic masses of feminized men.]”

    You. Are. A. God.
    Keep fighting the good fight and making women happy. Why the fuck should you care what anyone advises you, you know the truth and it’s shaped like a beautiful woman with a feminine real personality.

    Like


  133. on October 29, 2009 at 9:18 pm Conservative Cock

    Or, better yet, David Alexander and I can simultaneously paint FeministX’s face. She can take a mixture of goo from both of us so that it’s a 50/50 chance either way.

    Like


  134. Conservative Cock–

    If FeministX wants kids, she can have kids with me.

    She will sit on the bed while I jerk off in front of her. I will then paint her face with my ejaculate. She can wipe the goo from her face and put it in her pussy lips.

    You will thereafter owe her depending on your state about 20-25% of your pretax income for the next 18-22 years, or 30-40% of your after tax income. In hyper feminist America, these days.

    This is a recent occurance. A 90’s feminist raping of American men, under the banner of “dead beat dads”. Whenever you hear that phrase “dead beat dads” know it’s be used, successfully, to ass rape American men ever since.

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  135. Ok Con Cock. I’ll just be hitting you up for 18 yrs of child support. I mean, you’d think you’d at least want to get some actual sex if it’s going to cost you 18 years. You just want to jerk off though. Shrugs. Thanks for sharing your interracial not enough sac for a gang bang fantasy.

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  136. femx

    You don’t deserve it of course.

    You’re a marked woman come the revolution. M-4 Carbine marked. Man hating lesbian feminists go first. Of course they should be sex slave raped first by those so inclined. Why not?

    Like


  137. Doug:

    IIRC, as long as the woman is over 20, the divorce rate doesn’t go up.

    Like


  138. Not for public: Unhealthy men are more likely to marry, and marry earlier. Yet married men live longer and healthier anyway. You do even better if your wife is college educated.

    el chief: A happy marriage is worth $100,000/year, not in total. Also, since married men receive salary increases at a higher rate than single men, and since your wife if American will most likely be working (and if not will presumably be cleaning/cooking/otherwise contributing), I think your calculations are off.

    JR: But being wealthier is far from the only benefit: as I said, married people (on average, obviously, since these studies are of 1000s of people) are happier, have more and better sex, healthier, and live longer. So you have more money and more sex: seems win-win.

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  139. Marriage as it stands for 99.99% of people sucks, but he offers no better alternative.

    Like


  140. at one time (1950s) america was filled with beta herbs who understood better how to keep a great power up and running. but now that the country is in its death rattle, no thanks to the filthyfuck leftists who have infiltrated every corner of the culture, the gumption has long since gone. perhaps my fighting words of encouragement on this small but growing outpost will spark some hope into the anemic masses of feminized men

    This silliness is doing no one any good. If masculinity was the wellspring of geopolitical power then Afghanistan would rule the world and Ireland wouldn’t have spent virtually all of its history under an imperialist thumb.

    A larger army, superior weaponry and an economy capable of supplying supporting them is the cornerstone of military power. The United States was top dog in 1950 because most of the world’s capital stock had been destroyed in WWII, but the US had come out unscathed.

    US hegemony is falling because capital is being built around the world. Without a significant increase in US population there will be no way to prevent a multipolar world and one in which the US is a lesser player. A fully industrialized China and India will necessarily be more powerful than the US, as long as they out number us by more than 3 to 1.

    Like


  141. on October 29, 2009 at 9:57 pm gunslingergregi

    YEa but ab realistically all you get from most american woman seems to be slavery married or not.

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  142. Oswald’s roaming did lead to contracting leprosy in that one story.

    Like


  143. “A happy marriage is worth $100,000/year, not in total”

    Yet, the average family of 4 in the U.S. (still the wealthiest major nation) has a pre-tax income of what? $50,000? Yeah, that stat makes sense.

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  144. [editor: i don’t believe those studies. did they control for cohabiting couples? unmarried loving LTRs? the happiness of the men before they got married? ]

    Yes. Yes. Most events (like winning the lottery or having your mom die) tend to temporarily make people happier for a few years, then they go back to the same level as before. Sometimes, events have a permanent negative or positive effect: marriage can fall into either the lasting or temporary category, depending on the person.

    But on the other hand, there is lots of evidence that 1.money 2.regular sex and 3. being healthy make you happier, and since married people have more of all three, it’s not surprising they are happier.

    as i understand it, there are a lot of problems with these studies claiming marriage is good for the happiness and health of a man. for one thing, if it was so great for men, but less so for women, why are women the ones pressing for the ring with the most gusto?

    Because people have no idea what will make them happy (ie: having children even though there is lots of evidence this lowers happiness, especially for women; true even though women tend to want them more). Marriage is about equally good for men and women (women benefit more financially, men health/longevity wise, both are happier and have more sex).

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  145. Anon: Der, that isn’t in actual money. That’s what you would need to be paid to raise you to the same level of happiness/life quality if you didn’t have a happy marriage (we are talking about economists here, so money can buy happiness in every case). In other words, for A (happily married) and B (not married), B would need to make $100,000 more than A in order to have an equally good life.

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  146. on October 29, 2009 at 10:20 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””’Anon
    “A happy marriage is worth $100,000/year, not in total”

    Yet, the average family of 4 in the U.S. (still the wealthiest major nation) has a pre-tax income of what? $50,000? Yeah, that stat makes sense.
    ””””””
    Studies can’t all be true that is a fact.

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  147. 144, hypothecary – precisely. In theory, polygamy perhaps.

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  148. Ok, ab, but that was not the implication of your first post (since you emphasized how much more money married couples had in addition to being happier). I can assure you that I have considerably LESS money as a result of being married and having children.

    Anyway, dammit, I’m gonna go home now and fuck my wife to ensure my marriage health and happiness benefit.

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  149. Or, not exactly alternative, but personal enlightment/ultimate inner game – just stop giving a shit. If you have resources – have family Sopranos style. If not either work on it or just don’t give a shit and don’t have any.

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  150. Love & pussy=reasons stupid men get married. Only one reason for an American man to get married is for children. Choose your mate carefully though. If you don’t strongly desire children then for fucks sake don’t get married you fucking-weak-willed-imbecile-moron. She is not going to be your second Mommy and take care of you forever you pathetic piece of shit. Better a life of fucking after-hours fat chicks than a temporary marriage to a selfish dysfunctional hottie.

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  151. on October 29, 2009 at 10:55 pm Virginia Gentleman

    Cerberus:
    I concur. Me, I’d like to get married for a variety of reasons, one of them being the kids—I don’t intend to have a family line snuffed out, and I don’t think highly of producing a bunch of bastards.

    Screen, screen, screen is the first order of the day. What I haven’t figured out is the exact criteria to use. I’ve got some ideas—education, culture, demeanor, appearance, religion, the usual—but I’m certain that I’m overlooking plenty. Dave from Hawaii is, of course, the primer for the second half of the plan, i.e. LTR game. I’ve been trying to figure out exactly what implementing his experience in my own shoes would look like; it’ll take time to do that.

    I don’t agree with your MAD plan, though—go back a few years earlier and borrow John Foster Dulles’ massive retaliation. If I understand his rhetoric right, the US were ready to essentially play all-out global thermonuclear war over the slightest provocation by the Soviets. It appears to have worked; the Soviets sort of behaved. I haven’t worked out exactly what a first strike and/or massive retaliation look like in the marital context, but it seems to be a better place to start from than MAD. (Of course, you have to be prepared to fight to a bitter end as well, so MAD may be where you wind up.)

    There are two important things to figure out when planning this: The divorce laws where the marriage “lives”—they’ll control just how any retaliation could be done—and whether you want to announce your willingness to pursue such a course.

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  152. I definitely have more money as a result of cohabitating (though not necessarily from marriage itself). We have two incomes and are able to share a lot of expenses (housing is the most obvious and most substantial).

    The important thing is to find a hard-working and frugal woman with a high level of impulse control. I think I own more pairs of shoes than my old lady does. When she finds some crazy bargain on a new blouse she really needs for work, she asks my permission to buy it and still feels a bit of guilt for spending money. Even after all these years, and our growing salaries, she feels lucky to have what she does. She doesn’t have a sense of entitlement or ask me to buy her stuff. She grew up in a huge and dangerous foreign city, but really, she’s just a simple farm girl with a big heart.

    Yeah, I could replace her with a slightly younger and slightly hotter girl, but character is hard to come by. And character matters in the long run….a lot more than most posters here can understand.

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  153. “Somewhere in space…this may all be happening RIGHT NOW”

    p.s. DJDamage, loved that.

    Like


  154. Why do most men care about the future of humanity or their legacy? Does it matter?

    Let the world go to hell, it has not done anything worthwhile for many people.

    Like


  155. “This great evil. Where does it come from?”

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  156. I love the married tools who come here to tell everyone about the benefits of marriage.

    Misery loves company, eh?

    Like


  157. My lazy fat frigid wife cooks for me, washes my clothes, takes care of my kids. She kind of sucks at leading my kids. I don’t have to take time off from work to wait for the cable guy to show up. While she’s a lazy leach now, she probably earned more in 10 years than most chicks make in a life time when she was working. She was very good looking and smart so I got good genes for my kids.

    She even fucks me 3 times a month – it’s not really bad sex all the time but I’ll admit it’s not great sex. And starting this year I get to fuck other women too – but I have to sneak most of it so it sucks. However I sneak back in the house at night and next morning I wake up to breakfast being made and my kids singing to me. To bad it won’t last. I’m going to miss it.

    Like


  158. JerkDogg has it figured out. Good on him.

    Like


  159. Femmy want babies.

    [most women do. but a few don’t. i’ve found them.]

    And for those that want them, many are willing to give up one or two years of their best breeding years. It’s not a huge thing to as for a couple of years of the girls twenty something years. She probably wouldn’t be using them to better ends anyway.

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  160. Dune and Glengarry Glen Ross references in the same post. Nice.

    Like


  161. Gooch

    Is it too late–or even possible–to learn game in one’s 40s?

    I’d need to break my cycle of LTRs that are way past their expiration date.

    Sure. Start with travel. Necessity is the mother of invention. After several weeks alone in a foreign city, you will feel compelled to do whatever it takes to get laid. You’ll go out, you’ll use the internet, whatever. Depending on where you travel, you’ll be more marketable. If you can transplant yourself, you’ll be more able to change many life habits – start working out more, less TV, what have you.

    Travel makes change easier, and habitual travel makes a person more flexible and up to new challenges.

    Travel is also the easiest way to end an LTR, or to change the nature of it.

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  162. on October 30, 2009 at 12:06 am too late for romance

    Sheep get sheared.

    Like


  163. Excellent! Bravo!

    As a married man, I enjoyed kids after they were 3, till they became teenagers. As older kids, if they are smart, they can be like friends. So it is in my case. The wife, not so much but at least she is not an American bitch. If you have to marry, go foreign.

    The wife can be horny but you are right.. They have too much other crap flooding their little brains. The biggest house, etc. etc. Ideal scenario is to be able to have affairs in parallel to keep the mind balanced. I’ve discovered that affairs and flings improves the marriage, believe it or not! Only never admit to anything, in true style.

    I am a guy in my 40s, married and all that but I’ve learned a great deal from him and some of the stuff is working in a matter of weeks, even at my age. Its all about projecting dominance, alphaness plus add your own unique personality to taste. The libido of older men goes down but its selective (for the familiar).. give me an attractive unfamiliar woman, its like being 20 all over again 🙂 I could do her multiple times in a single night.

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  164. What seed, what root did it grow from? Who’s doin’ this? Who’s killin’ us? Robbing us of life and light. Mockin’ us with the sight of what we might’ve known. Does our ruin benefit the earth? Does it help the grass to grow, the sun to shine? Is this darkness in you, too? Have you passed to this night?

    Are you righteous, kind? Does your confidence lie in this? Are you loved by all? Know that I was, too. Do you imagine your sufferings will be less because you loved goodness, truth?

    We were a family. How’d it break up and come apart so that now we’re turned against each other, each standing in the other’s light? How’d we lose the good that was given us, let it slip away, scattered, careless? What’s keeping us from reaching out, touching Alias Clio?

    Like


  165. Anotheroldguy,

    The advice in your post, which artfully compressed your life story, is appreciated…but, how exactly do you propose we continue civilization absent marriage?

    I’d bet that there are contributing factors to your misery you leave unmentioned or implicit. You imply with your disdain for your consumerist lifestyle that it was your wife who pressed for those trinkets. If that’s true, it’s clear that you married a status-obsessed materialist, but not all guys are cursed to do so. Also, you mention that you married at 24; given that age, you must have violated his advice and married a woman close to you in age. I’d wager that you married your wife primarily because of her looks, and overlooked her character flaws, as Type-A, highly driven men like yourself are particularly prone to this kind of shallowness. (No offense.)

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  166. Depends on the person I suppose – myself I doubt marriage really makes much sense and any relationship naturally exhausts itself within 1-2 years ; same-old-same-old nothing new under the sun doesn’t sound much fun for those who need novelty.

    I think mid-term relationships lasting 1-2 years are probably optimal, and then move on.

    Like


  167. on October 30, 2009 at 12:52 am Conservative Cock

    FeministX,

    I must admit I am a bit self-conscious about your high IQ, half-way-thought-out comeback. And in hindsight, adding a milquetoast like David Alexander isn’t so sexy. David Alexander is too limp-dicked for even my creepy displays of consciousness hereabouts.

    So I will do you a favor and give you my new fantasy…

    We are in my apartment sitting on the edge of the bed facing the large flatscreen TV, and Nancy Pelosi is fulminating against the Republicans for trying to obstruct health care legislation. I tell you I am fed up with that cunt, so I decide to play my favorite recording: Sarah Palin speechifying about the need for more traditional values in our great country.

    As Sarah Palin discusses her Great Vision, I pull out a baggy with an 8-ball. I proceed to lay a mirror on the bed and set up some lines for you and I. Alarmed, you tell me you aren’t into that type of stuff. I dismiss your unwillingness to experiment as a byproduct of your provincial culture. I then snort 1/4 of a gram and feel the euphoria work its way from my central nervous system to my chest. I am in dopaminergic bliss with Palin in the background. As my high begins to diminish, you lay down on the bed without shirt and bra, your tits looking succulent and teasing. I then take my rolled-up bill and snort another 1/4 of a gram, and put my goodies away.

    I start sucking on your brown nipples and can feel them getting hard. You are breathing more forcefully, and Sarah Palin disappears into oblivion. I continue to suck your delicious breasts until you pull your shorts off and throw them to the floor. I forcefully pull your panties off and start sucking your lips until they are engulfed with my saliva. I lick you like the Energizer Bunny on coke.

    I take my clothes off and I am rock-hard with anticipation. I force you to suck me off, dictating exactly how I want to be sucked off. At this point I am at a peak experience of bliss, biochemically and psychosexually with an Aryan princess. I then flip you over and pound your brown buttcheeks, squeezing your ass with my hands, spanking it, and intermittently biting and licking it. I pull your hair and while still pounding you doggy-style proceed to spray the biggest load of my life into your contracting, juicy, pink pussy.

    I turn the TV off, we lay on the bed, and we discuss the fine points of the Bhagavad Ghita and our future with beautiful Aryan babies. I tell you they will run the country with their good genes. They will make fine Republicans.

    ***THE END***

    CONSERVATIVE COCK

    Like


  168. Pupu always remembers that Lou told Lil, in the Waste Land, “What you get married for if you don’t want children?”

    Like


  169. Coyote

    I think mid-term relationships lasting 1-2 years are probably optimal, and then move on.

    We’re agreed on this. However it’s also invigorating to throw in periods of non-monagamous dating.

    Like


  170. I am a married man of Middle Eastern ancestry with two kids of, and have been for the last 8 years. I must say married life has its up’s and downs. For me at least these two moods are in a perpetual war, and so far it looks like downs winning but I am sure it will balance itself out again. I just wished I knew this blog when I was starting up. I now feel like an adult in a candy store, and only kids are allowed to eat. The adults can just look.
    I am 32 years of age now, and have had countless opportunities with women since getting married; I must add I haven’t exploited any of those opportunities. I didn’t close because to be honest I didn’t know how to close, and to boot I was too damn scared. Scared of my wife finding out or my family, scared of getting an STD and passing it on too.
    With regards to STD’s I personally do not know anyone in this world who is more scared of them than me. I am super scared of them, even before I was married I was scared of STD’s and felt revulsion at kissing a girl in the mouth because I thought I might catch something. So I never really had that many sexual partners, well I had two and the third was my wife. Both those two the relationship lasted about a month. Also all these two would be classified here as 5.
    In school I had been out with a girl for six months but we never had sex. Our idea of making out was me touching her boobies and her ass; almost in all instances she was fully clothed.

    My wife is not working, and never has. I don’t see the point of her working as she will not make much anyway. It won’t even cover the baby sitting. She was 18 when she married me and she was a virgin on our wedding night. Her beauty scale is an 8, although because she is exotic looking I think to most people she is a 9, however in the community she will be an 8 due to the fact she has curly hair and a bit darker skin. If my wife suddenly calls herself a mixed race of block black, white, and Native American then she will be considered maybe even a 10. Men absolutely go Gaga over her, and people who have an eye for sisters think she is a demi god. She doesn’t have a clue of the racial narrative that makes her especially attractive in here, so she thinks she is just normal beautiful. She looks very much like Salli Richardson. This has been repeated to her a million times.

    Anyway back to who I am. Looks wise I am 5-8in. Lookswise I am probably a 7 if you just saw me on the streets, I don’t know but in reality given my beta confidence is a 4.
    I make around 120 K a year before taxes. It’s a good living but less to what I was born into, but much better than what she was born into. This figure barring any silly lifestyle decisions will most likely increase respectably.
    It is absolutely true regarding getting the bigger house as I too have one. Four bedroom house with 3 bathrooms. One of the rooms is never used and I don’t remember when was the last time I walked into it; only used for guests. Another room is my office, but also a place where un ironed clothes are thrown in and also the place where I throw any loose paper work which I might need later, which however after six months when I review my mounting paperwork cause the wife has scolded me I decide I actually don’t need the paperwork anyway e.g. I never throw copies of the economist magazine that I have not read properly which means I don’t throw any copy; after six monthly review all are thrown and so is the national geographic magazine- unread.

    I could not afford the house but my parents agreed to pay 40% as down payment. I have no intention of paying this money back. So I only pay the mortgage on the remaining 60%.
    I did not get my wife through my own efforts. I figured out pretty quickly that I will get a much better quality woman if I go through the matchmaker route, and that’s how it turned out. I am very happy with the quality I got. She is not the smartest chick out there, so if that means according to some people here my kids will be average than that’s cool. Average people I think are happier anyway.

    My friends who mostly had high standards in college now seem to have married extremely average women, albeit educated women. These same friends would never even have considered dating the women they are currently married to when they were in college. 80% of my friends never got laid in college at all during undergraduate years. And if anyone in the group did try to get something that was “substandard” in their eyes, then one was made fun off. Needless to say I regret having these Olympic masturbators as my wingmen in my formative years.

    Anyways, my wife is growing in power every year and if present trends continue then I will be probably be castrated in 10 years time and thereafter be sodomised by the big wooden spoon that she uses to mix the rice with. If I don’t do anything I will be in big trouble, no question about it. But I don’t see myself leaving this girl as her powers are probably the same powers that my mother developed after marrying my father, and so forth. Many times I will take her to a very nice restaurant and will be sitting in this table next to wall. I will be eating with my wife talking, and my eyeing the other tables. A lot of the times I will see a guy doing his magic on a girl, and will feel quite envious of him. At the same time I will absolutely not want to be that guy, going through all that dating, not knowing if you are going get some at the end of the night, or will he go home alone that night after spending $300 on food that probably cost $20 to make. I will thank god I am with my wife, even though I am sometimes looking at her and getting angry for absolutely no reason.

    Hmm I think this post is getting long so in summary, I think for a person with my idiosyncrasies, getting married is a good idea. It is also a good idea for most of my friends and I have a feeling me and my friends are not unique in this world, dare I say for a good proportion of you getting married is better than long periods of pointless dry spells.

    Like


  171. “Dune and Glengarry Glen Ross references in the same post. Nice.”

    yes, but, FTW (i.e. best movie) from Tupac, Thin Red Line.

    Also, from way up top:

    50% divorce statistic is wrong. that is 50% of *all* marriages (including very old long lasting ones). it’s more like 70% of NEW marriages that end in divorce.

    This seems to be bad math. It’s like saying that “70% of all kielbasas are eaten right away but only 50% of kielbasas overall are eaten.” Somebody snuck some extra kielbasas into the back of the syllogism!

    If 70% of new marriages end in divorce then *at least* 70% of all marriages must end in divorce.

    If, say (I’m making up these stats), 40% of marriages end within 5 years, and 45% within 10 years, and 50% within 20 years, then that’s how you get to 50%. The percentage of failed new marriages must be lower than the overall percentage of failed marriages.

    Like


  172. Overheard a gal at starbucks today, telling her girlfriend:

    1. She is close to 30.
    2. She dated an immature guy who cheated on her and could not hold a decent job for 6 years.
    3. Currently dating an unemployed guy who has cheated on her.
    4. Biological clock is ticking..

    What can I say.. *smile*

    She now has a fat ass, wrinkled face and thunder thighs.

    I bet you that if a decent provider type had approached her, he would have been ignored him for being too boring. The cunt got what she wanted.. too bad she did not like it!

    Like


  173. If I knew you, I’d make a bet with you: in five years, you’ll be married. You’ll meet that hitherto unrealised dream-woman of yours – beautiful, vivacious, intelligent, younger (though not too much so) – and she won’t be satisfied with anything less than marriage. Nor will you be. You’ll have three daughters, all lovely to look at and talented, and spend your declining years worrying about the men who pursue them and whether they’ll choose a good one. You’ll probably even be – and I hesitate to write this but think it’s quite possible – faithful to her.

    And when she gets old you’ll tell her you love her for the pilgrim soul in her, and the sorrows in her changing face.

    Like


  174. on October 30, 2009 at 1:39 am gunslingergregi

    And that clio is the womans dream to change a mans ways.

    Just like my wife prays that one day it will just be her.

    Good thing she is willing to wait forever for that to happen.

    Like


  175. @ Married Guy.

    Your comment is one of the best I have ever read on this blog. This line alone makes you immortal:

    “if present trends continue then I will be probably be castrated in 10 years time and thereafter be sodomised by the big wooden spoon that she uses to mix the rice with”

    Plese keep commenting.

    Like


  176. If 70% of new marriages end in divorce then *at least* 70% of all marriages must end in divorce.

    this is incorrect. hypothetically: if 70% of new marriages end in divorce but only 30% of older marriages do then the average in any given year that a married couple divorces might be the mean at 50%.

    Like


  177. Con Cock, I’m flattered, but please lay off the coke.
    That fantasy is certainly an improvement though (no offense, DA).

    Like


  178. “yes, but, FTW (i.e. best movie) from Tupac, Thin Red Line.”

    The Terrence Malick snoozefest?

    Like


  179. Alpha – of all time?

    “Somali man, ‘112’, weds girl, 17”

    “Hundreds of people have attended a wedding in central Somalia between a man who says he is 112 years old, and his teenage wife.

    Ahmed Muhamed Dore – who already has 13 children by five wives – said he would like to have more with his new wife, Safia Abdulleh, who is 17 years old.

    “Today God helped me realise my dream,” Mr Dore said, after the wedding in the region of Galguduud.

    The bride’s family said she was “happy with her new husband”.

    Mr Dore said he and his bride – who is young enough to be his great-great-grand-daughter – were from the same village in Somalia and that he had waited for her to grow up to propose.

    “I didn’t force her, but used my experience to convince her of my love; and then we agreed to marry,” the groom said.”

    Like


  180. Bear in mind that he is black, so counting is understandably quite a challenge for him.

    Like


  181. Married Guy:

    Thanks for your heartfelt post. Much of what you feel has to do with your age. You are experiencing the internal conflicts that most married men feel at one time or another. The French have a good solution for this. They just screw around and do it carefully, respect their partners dignity, and keep things quiet. Europe in general is like that. You’ll likely find that you find it a waste of time that you come to secretly regret. Temptation is always more promising than its fulfillment. You imagine things to be so much more wonderful. You may well find you prefer your wife. I think at the heart of your post, you feel powerless. You need to learn relationship game. You are falling into your cultural paradigms as a couple and you need to regain control. I scope women all the time and because my wife is hot, even very young women will flirt with me in front of her, which reinforces my game with no effort from me. I then use it very effectively to my advantage. It keeps her interested in me. Like I said before, I’m happily married to a beautiful Ukrainian woman. I love my wife because whenever I see her, she just makes me happy and even giddy and we have that effect on each other. She never irritates me or gets on my nerves either, and we are together all the time, we even commute to work together and we talk a lot. I think much has to do with when you get married and to whom. I’ve seen enough strange to last me for a while and frankly, for me at least, sex with someone you really love and feel a strong bond with is vastly superior to casual sex. There are some people that are very compatible for each of us, but we almost never meet them because dating is hit or miss. If my game fails and I get divorced, I’ll just go back to Kiev and live there and hunt babes until I die.

    Like


  182. 112? Really? Probably in Somali years.

    That’s about 47 in American years.

    Like


  183. on October 30, 2009 at 2:55 am gunslingergregi

    ””””””I’ve seen enough strange to last me for a while and frankly, for me at least, sex with someone you really love and feel a strong bond with is vastly superior to casual sex. ””””””

    Got to admit I have never fucked a chick until I couldn’t fuck anymore because my dick was fucked and bleeding until I met my current wife.

    Like


  184. I see that “Hookers and Liquor” retirement plan is still in effect——LOL.

    All kidding aside……………………thats probably the biggest downside that men who have slept with large numbers of women face: it will undoubtably be harder to ever settle for merely one female and maintain personal fufillment and excitement. No matter who she is, or how cute she is, the same man will have memories of so many other attractive women to compare her to that he will ultimately probably experience dissatisfaction. Even if she is a 9 or 10, the memories (and possibly videotapes) he has will be of other women when he was younger and there was more thrill in it all.

    H brought up husbands and porn in this post. Those “tube” sites on the internet have probably contributed to a lot of men feeling slighted at home. If a man hasn’t seen a hot young woman naked in a while, redtube is probably quite a jolt to the nervous system. “Was it ever really that good?” is something he assuredly asks himself, as well as, “I wonder if I made a mistake with the old ball and chain in there?”, etc.

    Like


  185. i think for everyone .. .not just men , variety is the spice of life ..
    i wouldnt want to get married either, especially because itshard to find a person that can satisfy me very long in bed .
    not that i have a crazy sex drive…… but theres is nothing like a new person … you can never get that again from one person

    Like


  186. Heretofore we have had religion to give life meaning. We all expected to go to a worry-free heaven if we were good boys and girls, and to be punished by torture in hell if we were not.

    Someone who doesn’t believe in any of that is faced with “existence” and getting the most out of life as the point of the whole excercise. Is it any wonder that hedonism is the response? Its the natural alternative. Civilization however, was proably founded upon religous beliefs making humans cooperative enough to co-exist in close quarters without stealing each other blind, murdering each others over females (or each other’s bad breath, loud speech, drunkeness, etc). Taking heaven and hell away from the imaginations of humanity probably will lead many others to the conclusions of how to live-out-their-lives that he has come to. However, the demographic realities are that other parts of the world are still quite fertile and will be enroaching on this eden at some point, but probably not in his lifetime.

    Like


  187. on October 30, 2009 at 3:18 am gunslingergregi

    Another bonus is probably false accusations or bitches acting crazy goes down to about 0 when your woman is there during the process.

    Like


  188. Married Man:

    My guess is that you live in No Va and are chained to a big fat mortgage and your wife is well above average and will notice that fact soon enough as she likely already has. She needs to feel replaceable and that you are somone special. If down the line, you really do feel assraped by the wooden spoon, You can wait this out too if things become unbearable. However, prevention is the best cure.

    With good relationship game, you can get morning head everyday and have her singing while she cooks you breakfast and find yourself thinking how happy you are to be married while you walk to your car in the evening. If your wife is as lovely as you say, then most women you could possibly cheat with would be a step down in looks.

    If you eventually do feel ass raped with the wooden spoon, you can replace your wife easily enough too if she becomes too complicated. Go back to the home country for a visit with her and divorce her there for instance and take the kids. People from Muslim countries usually have a big advantage there.

    Divorce is war and one must fight to win. But stay quiet, don’t show your hand at all, even act to the contrary. Men can be treacherous too. Women need to learn that. Surprise is paramount in divorce. It bestows a huge advantage to the one who uses it first and even bigger advantages to women than to men.

    The downside to dumber women is that they don’t know how to analyze their emotions and are more easily controlled by them and by stuff like magazines, advertiseing, friends and soap operas, than more rational women (yes, such women do exist, but are rare.) The up side is that you can more easily outsmart them and apply game and you will both be happy. Morning head is a great way to start the day!

    If you plan well and need to, you can divorce relatively painlessly and you could then arrange another marriage or take your accumulated wealth and go live somewhere friendlier and live a good life for your remaining years. Never let a woman crush your soul. Remember, as Cicero said, where there is life, there is hope.

    Like


  189. on October 30, 2009 at 3:31 am gunslingergregi

    ””””’it will undoubtably be harder to ever settle for merely one female and maintain personal fufillment and excitement. No matter who she is, or how cute she is, the same man will have memories of so many other attractive women to compare her to that he will ultimately probably experience dissatisfaction.””””””’

    The one mate thing is where you are fucking up. Sometimes you can meet a woman you want to spend your life with through it all.

    ””””””’H
    The ideal lifestyle for the successful hedonist is a loving long term relationship, or multiple simultaneous long term relationships, spiced with the occasional fun fling or one night stand. This arrangement satisfies a man’s desires for love and variety. Naturally, within the constraints of the sexual market, compromises will be made. Most men, mediocrities in every way, will have to sacrifice the thrill of the hunt for the sake of their relationships. Or they will have to offer up their freedom and chain themselves within the corrupt institution of marriage in exchange for the love and sexual favors of their girlfriends. And it is a truism that the more power a man has — the more leverage he brings to the market — the less he has to compromise.

    If you get what you want without compromising, you are an alpha. Congratulations. It is you who inherit the earth. The meek inherit your sloppy seconds.
    ””””””””””””””””
    ”””’Z
    I see that “Hookers and Liquor” retirement plan is still in effect——LOL.””””””””

    AS you see from his past post it doesn’t have to be hookers and liquor only. If you look at his ideal for the successful hedonist. Loving long term relationship is included with occasional flings. I think that is the ideal.
    Game helps so that a man can determine when a woman is best suited for him by having experience with other woman. Yea even though you have had a lot of woman you can still meet a woman who does blow your fucking mind and fits the majority of what you are looking for in a woman for the long haul. Being able to put what you want into concrete thoughts is what makes you able to know when you find that woman and experience is what helps you to know as well what a woman needs to have in order to be able to go the distance.

    My first wife had all the traits of a wife I was looking for except two.

    My second wife has all those traits plus the two and stuff I could have never imagined nor dreamed of.

    So yea experience can be beneficial to you.

    Like


  190. One thing I should add is that I was lucky to get it from my wife 1x per month before I started cheating on my wife, which I did shortly after starting to read this blog. Now I get it 3x per month and the quality is better – and she doesn’t disparage me in front of her friends anymore. She sees the way other women look at me. There is something to all this.

    Despite all this my game still sucks. I have done well with women but it is because of my looks,status, money etc… I’m a good deal for most women and if I confidently approach women it becomes clear that we both know that I’ve got the upper hand. My “game” mostly consists of not being a fucking moping idiot around women anymore.

    But ultimately I feel the urge to have more kids with a smart, introverted chick that doesn’t look like a troll. I don’t want to cheat… I don’t think I’m a “natural” cheater but rather a “situational” one that was driven into it by a stale relationship.

    Like


  191. on October 30, 2009 at 3:57 am gunslingergregi

    Really there has never been a person that I have loved, admired or hero worshipped more than my wife. Things is I think it does take keeping the availablility of other woman as an option so that I don’t turn into a drooling vegetable yes man with no balls around her so she can then lose all attraction for me. Got to keep her a little on toes and myself as well.

    Like


  192. on October 30, 2009 at 4:07 am gunslingergregi

    Jerkdogg what does she say when you take the pussy?
    Like tossing her ass on the bed or floor and applying dick to pussy.

    Do ya try just bending that shit over while shes cooking and going to work?

    Does she say no when you initiate sexytime?
    kissing touching tits whatever.

    Like


  193. on October 30, 2009 at 4:09 am gunslingergregi

    She does know your cheating more than likely they can smell woman on you. So hence the extra effort.
    Maybe she wants it to work. Tell her shes too fucking fat and buy her an excercise video. More than likely up occurances of you taking the pussy.

    Like


  194. on October 30, 2009 at 4:35 am gunslingergregi

    The too fucking fat thing actually came from my first wife who predicted her future weight gain and told me to tell her if she was getting fat. Which I never did. Kind of creeps up on you and hard to notice but does have an impact on sex appeal. Her body was the type that was perfect big tits nice ass but could easily fall into fat category which it did.

    Like


  195. this is incorrect. hypothetically: if 70% of new marriages end in divorce but only 30% of older marriages do then the average in any given year that a married couple divorces might be the mean at 50%.

    True. The confusion is in the phrase “new marriage”. There are two questions here: “What percentage of prospective marriages will end in divorce” vs. “What percentage of existing marriages do end in divorce”.

    Like


  196. on October 30, 2009 at 5:35 am unlearning genius

    “perhaps my fighting words of encouragement on this small but growing outpost will spark some hope into the anemic masses of feminized men”
    The savior has arrived. Yes sir, a nation full of perpetually adolescent womanizers is exactly what we need in this time of ‘crisis’. Your writings are very entertaining, I will give you that. But they are mere caricatures of reality. A life of voluntary celibacy is not a reasonable goal for most men – feminized or whatever. But hey, as long as your small outpost keeps growing, why care about a balanced view? ..you get your serotonin kicks and that book of yours sells well .. you go on to become a super alpha ….selling false hopes to ‘betas’ is indeed the smart way to alphadom.

    Like


  197. Another thing that can’t be underplayed is treating your wife like a sex object on a regular basis interspersed with genuine affection and periodic tirades. You have to keep women in a constant state of mild arousal to get regular sex. Drama means arousal so give them some drama. That means patting their asses, cupping their breasts, blowing on their neck at random intervals throughout the day. All day too. Start at breakfast and do it all day. Treat her like she’s your property when you do too. I like to unsnap her bra for instance and then feel her up while she’s trying to put it back on. Just do all the childish stuff you wanted to do to girls in high school. Let her know she’s sexy and your property to bone when you want and it will make her easier to bone. Three times a month would not be anywhere near enough for me. You also have to go DI on her periodically for stuff she does that pissed you off. Then do the silent treatment and get her to beg for your attention again.

    If she doesn’t come around soon enough, disappear for a few days and then be evasive about where you were when you come back. Its even better when there is mild evidence of other females. Less is better than more. Panties in your jean pockets are a good one. Just buy them at walmart and stick them in your shorts for a few hours. Tell her some stripper gave them to you but you don’t remember the details because you were drunk at the time only that she smelled like …. and had a cool tattoo on her ass of a flamingo.

    Shit, just go hang with a buddy. Its the uncertainty that is powerful here. You have to use women’s weapons of manipulation against them in a relationship. If you argue with them, don’t try to make logical sense, argue to win and throw the same crap back in their faces they throw at you. Shit tests work both ways.

    Like


  198. on October 30, 2009 at 6:30 am Phenomenal One

    My parents got married when they were 18 & 19 years old.
    They’ve been married for over 41 years and now live in a ranch home in Long Island, New York enjoyin retirement.

    you should’nt make the decision to get married based on the success of others.
    there are few “textbook” marriages.

    Like


  199. A happy marriage is worth $100,000/year, not in total

    a study like this is so obviously bogus that whenever someone uses such an argument, this person shoots his own foot.

    people, just because someone “made an study” about something, it doesn´t mean it´s serious. The hottest girl I banged in college, for example, was a biology major who studied ” survival of scorpions in extreme conditions ”

    one of those “extreme conditions” was starvation. In a highly recommended study, she concluded that a type of scorpion can survive 18 months of complete starvation. If you are wondering, her study consisted of letting the scorpions in their aquariums without any food and then checking every day if they still moved. She got money from the university, equivalent to one minimum wage, to make such awesome discoveries.

    Yet …… how I miss those green eyes…………

    Like


  200. I say that my green-eyed princess´ study was waaayy more serious than thursday´s bogus citation

    also, his anti-marriage mindset is the natural consequence of living in AMerica. Let him get the same job in Eastern Europe or SOuth AMerica, his mind would change fastly. Given what I read about North America, his case is absolutely correct there

    Like


  201. Q: What does a tornado have in common with a North Carolina divorce?

    A: Someone’s gonna lose a trailer.

    Like


  202. Did anyone mention that you can have a much higher standard of living with the 2-income family that marriage brings (assuming you don’t have children).

    Like


  203. Did anyone mention that you can have a much higher standard of living with the 2-income family that marriage brings (assuming you don’t have children).

    A zoo animal in captivity also has a higher standard of living than an animal running free in the wild. Doesn’t change the fact it’s still living a pathetic existence in comparison.

    Like


  204. DaveinHackensack

    Dune and Glengarry Glen Ross references in the same post. Nice.

    70s movies are way kwls

    Like


  205. maurice stereotyped

    Q: What does a tornado have in common with a North Carolina divorce?

    A: Someone’s gonna lose a trailer

    I’m shocked.
    That a black man,
    would post something
    as hatefully racist as this

    Like


  206. Did anyone mention that you can have a much higher standard of living with the 2-income family that marriage brings (assuming you don’t have children).

    do the math dude. if you’re making more than her, then your per/person income drops one you say “i do”. you may be saving on shared expenses, but you may also be spending more money to keep her happy. and then we get to kids, which unless you plan to put them to work in the coal mines are earning no income, but costing a fortune.

    the point of this post is that people will try to paint marriage as a choice between growing up and doing the right thing and remaining an immature frat boy who only bangs bar skanks and lives in his own filth. the truth is anything but. any man with a modicum of looks, a decent earning potential, and some game can spend his life in meaningful longterm relationships, ranging from a few months to several years, with shortterm dalliances intermixed. if you don’t want kids, i would say that is the optimal solution.

    either way, married or not, the answer is game. you’ll need it to keep attracting women if you’re single and you’ll need it to keep your wife in line if you’re married.

    Like


  207. “one” = soon as

    Like


  208. “A zoo animal in captivity also has a higher standard of living than an animal running free in the wild. Doesn’t change the fact it’s still living a pathetic existence in comparison.”

    But for the overwhelming majority of guys who don’t have game, “freedom” is just the freedom to sit at home watching porn and playing WOW. It’s not like they’re having there ability to get poon restricted, because they don’t have any such ability (or very little).

    Like


  209. Thursday:

    “P.S. If you marry a woman with a college education the divorce rate is only 17%.”

    Hey, same odds as Russian Roulette. Where do I sign up?

    Like


  210. god damnit!

    But for the overwhelming majority of guys who don’t have game, “freedom” is just the freedom to sit at home watching porn and playing WOW.

    do yourself a favor and read some of the archives. you are on the verge of being a troll. the point is, there was a time when the average beta could get married and know that he had a better than average chance of remaining so. these days, the sort of man you are describing is more than likely to end up married to an overbearing shrew who will eventually leave him with an inflated alimony/child support bill. that man is now both poorer and more unhappy than he would have been had he just stayed single.

    Like


  211. The timing is different for men and marriage – there’s no age limit where it seems like marriage is no longer an option for men. I was just talking to a guy who said maybe he wants kids, maybe in 10 years. The guy was late 30s. Men just have more time, and therefore less pressure.

    Like


  212. When I consider my kids, their friends, and the neighbor kids, I am assured that the future is in great hands.

    You must be missing out
    on vibrant diversity
    Poor thing

    But don’t worry
    The authorities and the
    county zoning board

    are on it.

    Like


  213. “Ideal scenario is to be able to have affairs in parallel to keep the mind balanced. I’ve discovered that affairs and flings improves the marriage, believe it or not!”

    Heres my married guy story: Im 34 asian/french, fairly successful (over 100k). Been with my girl for 13 years (married for 4). I never cheated on her until 6 months ago. This is saying a lot because, I play in fairly popular band around town and have many oppurtunities. My wife was an 8/9 when I met her, she was a model. As the years went on she slowly degraded to a 6/7. She put on weight. Six month ago at my job (around the time I started reading here), I started gaming this 23 year old admin assist, shes an 8. Within a month she was down and we began hooking up (bjs during lunch, dive bars and banging after work in the back of my beemer). Not sure what made me finally cross the line but I did and I was having a blast! Long story short: I got caught. My wife found an email I left open. No way to deny. I had to face the music. Divorce was threatened, but never happened. I told her i was sorry and that it was a mistake that wouldnt happen again. After a few months of hell (while I was learning to apply LTR game) my wife began to trust me again and this is when the changes started happening: morning bjs, sex on demand, candlelit massages, home cooked meals on a nightly basis, love/affection and appreciation that I hadnt experienced in years! She also lost 40 pounds and weighs less than when we first met! Not sure what my point is here….but after reading the quote above from sani I felt inclined to pipe in. Would I marry again? Probably not, but having an affar, getting caught and LTR game defintley improved my marriage…..for now.

    Like


  214. @FP-

    black man? nah, i can’t jump. also the joke was race neutral…

    Like


  215. anony mewled:

    When I consider my kids, their friends, and the neighbor kids, I am assured that the future is in great hands.

    You mean those kidz who’s parents never insisted they learn how to use a lawnmower because that would cut into PlayStation time?

    The kidz who’s eyes are conditioned to dutifully glaze over whenever MLK’s (blessings and praise be upon him) name is mentioned?

    The Campbell Soup-Barack Hussein Obama Mmm Mmm Mmm Kids?

    Now I know who to mail my gold teeth to when they put me in the Re-edumication Camp

    Like


  216. But don’t worry
    The authorities and the
    county zoning board

    are on it.

    If you don’t want black people in your neighbourhood, deprive them of any employment and send them back down South, and have them be replaced by European immigrants.

    [editor: shut the fuck up, freakboy.]

    Like


  217. Firepower, FTW.

    We are so screwed by this generation of limp wristed, self-loathing, self-sacrficial beta faggots.

    Like


  218. FTW Lurkie – I must agree. Shameful.

    No amount of delusional “tough talk” or fisherman’s tales about secured borders means anything tangible – coming from SWPLs with 1.2 kids.

    Ghetto Queens pump out that many per 9 months, and 20 times that hop the border every day.

    Pahluniak had a great line about “wanting to bash the Panda that wouldn’t even fuck for the survival of its species”

    SWPLs:
    Outbred
    Outgunned
    Out of Luck

    Like


  219. on October 30, 2009 at 12:15 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””””’PA
    When I consider my kids, their friends, and the neighbor kids, I am assured that the future is in great hands.

    You must be missing out
    on vibrant diversity
    Poor thing

    But don’t worry
    The authorities and the
    county zoning board

    are on it.
    ””””””””””””””
    Yea no shit right. The black chick I am seeing moved an entire generation out to where she lives. Took over about 6 houses on a street where the mojority are single mothers and don’t pay rent. They actually immigrated from dc to have a better life. Yet they keep bringing more of dc with them lol Wonder if this area is going to improve or get worse over time?

    Like


  220. on October 30, 2009 at 12:16 pm gunslingergregi

    Plus she helps make sure they fill out there paperwork and get all there benefits that they are entitled. She is a real humanitarian.

    Like


  221. Firepower, SOuth Park had a great early episode about the unintended consequences of saving species that refuse to breed themselves.

    Environmentalists never seem to understand natural fucking selection. Strange.

    Like


  222. on October 30, 2009 at 12:22 pm gunslingergregi

    I used to visit this area for spates of pure white goodness and girls to get a breather from my ghetto roots but yea not pure white anymore baby yay diversity.

    Like


  223. The French have some wonderful ways of dealing with the problem of having to fire at the same set of holes every time for all eternity – practically all straight successful men have mistresses (and I won’t even start talking about the gay ones), and open marriages and prostitution is widespread. Not only that, but they had the equally wonderful policy of impregnating beautiful women in their colonies, creating more beautiful mixed race children who would more often than not grow up to be leaders in their countries. Hell even in a country as unsexy as Germany prostitution is fully legal and mostly considered normal, which means even many young, sexy, horny girls worth banging are doing it. Even in some European countries, a high worth male won’t have a problem finding a good wife who lets him fuck a new girl every day all his life as long as he doesn’t blow all his time and energy along with his wad. So yes, you CAN have both marriage AND a relatively easy steady stream of fresh puss. Just not in the repressed parts of the Western world.

    The feminist crowd seem to misunderstand causality, as usual – miserable old bachelors are likely to be judged miserable because they are bachelors, but successful old bachelors are not likely to be judged miserable just because they are bachelors. And as he points out – you can have long term relationships (as well as new ones) just like in marriage outside of marriage too. Especially if you preselect your partners for not getting married. The only problem is, most men aren’t likely to have the pulling power to make decent quality women stick around while getting new ones. But some can – and those who do are usually very well off with it. In fact, nothing makes most people’s jaw drop harder than seeing a guy who’s old but still surrounded by far more attractive women than they or their male relatives will have at any age.

    Like


  224. [editor: shut the fuck up, freakboy.]

    You win. I’ll go away.

    [editor: your exquisitely honed passive aggressiveness is repulsive. how about you just stop stupidly trolling.]

    Like


  225. Overheard a gal at starbucks today, telling her girlfriend:

    1. She is close to 30.
    2. She dated an immature guy who cheated on her and could not hold a decent job for 6 years.
    3. Currently dating an unemployed guy who has cheated on her.
    4. Biological clock is ticking..

    What can I say.. *smile*

    She now has a fat ass, wrinkled face and thunder thighs.

    I bet you that if a decent provider type had approached her, he would have been ignored him for being too boring. The cunt got what she wanted.. too bad she did not like it!

    After hearing this, Lucy the 5′ 2″ herb, who certainly would never have had the courage to approach her himself, shuffled away staring at his feet with his hands in the pockets of his polyester pants, thinking, “Thank God I haven’t been stuck with a woman like that – her existence completely validates my use of porn and hookers.”

    Like


  226. on October 30, 2009 at 2:50 pm Marcus Aureliette

    Somebody snuck some extra kielbasas into the back of the syllogism!

    That sounds painful!

    Like


  227. on October 30, 2009 at 3:08 pm Rollo Tomassi

    “If mom calls, tell her I’m shitting… Son, marriage is about not having to lie about taking a shit.”

    – Justin’s Dad from http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

    Like


  228. Western civilization, back when it was still civil, considered a married man’s responsibility to take care of his family. Whether or not he screwed prostitutes or house maids was just not talked about, and quietly accepted as long as it didn’t wreck the finances. I can’t imagine how anyone could find it so hard to believe that some of this attitude remains in countries where prostitution is legal and widespread, like Denmark or Germany. After all, it makes perfect sense to everyone involved. The guy gets the benefit of marriage and still gets to screw around, and the woman gets a good quality husband because of the large added value the deal by the man not being tied to the same pussy forever as long as things are kept discrete. And as a bonus all the extra marital sex will usually make the man a lot more attractive to the wife and her to him.

    In prudish countries and places people might react to it, but trust me, people in places where prostitution is legal and women don’t have society by the balls actually have better things to do than gossip about who likes hookers and not. It’s about as interesting as gossiping about who smokes a joint after work in the Netherlands (or screws hookers there, for that matter).

    Like


  229. Doug1 says:

    “As well though for alpha men, the feminist Western woman’s expectation or demand really on penalty of divorce theft, of total one woman fidelity post marriage is simply unreasonable, deeply unnatural, and utterly ahistorical.

    An alpha man, particular the high achieving, leading, and by the way also handsomely providing as a side effect, sort of non thuggish alpha man deserves to be able to have some other trim on the side occasionally, if done discretely, and provided he still shows his wife (and kids of course) loving attention, affection and sex. Sexually or emotionally abandoning his wife, if she’s worked to remain attractive is not ok.”

    Couldn’t have said it better myself. Well done.

    Like


  230. on October 30, 2009 at 4:17 pm Not for public

    Unknown: Sure, society won’t give a damn. I doubt most wives will be much in favor of it, though.

    BTW: Joint > hookers

    Like


  231. Tax and health benefits?

    Like


  232. on October 31, 2009 at 2:48 am msexceptiontotherule

    “[editor: i know you’re not this stupid, so why do you say such stupid things? to troll? that would at least make some sense. for the price of outfitting our military for one day in iraq and afghanistan we could pay a bunch of strapping young white guys to lay down the bricks and mortar and happily patrol with high caliber weapons.]”

    What, you want us to have the arduous task of finding said strapping young white guys who are looking for work when the majority of the group (the strapping young white guy group) prefers to devote its attention to studying ways to meet-drink-transport somewhere for the purpose of – banging women? Besides, I’m not sure I’d want to put a slingshot in any hands belonging to someone from that group on gp grounds alone. After all, reviewing the options we’ll be choosing from the first generation we’ve seen a substantial increase in single-parent homes on the national level – leaves me looking for anything else available as an option.

    Like


  233. I’m 50 and the girlfriend in the European college town I am living in is 24. She knows she has to eat right and watch her weight to remain a full-figured 9 (breasts and bubble butt to die for) because she can swing to being an overweight 6 in any given two week period – and she’s smart enough to notice that has an effect on whether she gets a rise out of me.

    It is the same for any woman I’ve dated…I like the full-figured Goddesses but they can lose their looks in any given 2 week period.

    So, yes, children would be the only reason to get married. But then I will only get married if:

    1) Polygamy becomes legal (she’s the gf I have in this particular town but there are other towns)
    2) VAWA is repealed or totally overruled

    So, CH, I am an example of what your life could be like in 15 years. You can still play the field at 50…and with women in their early 20s (if you want them as there are some gorgeous women of all ages).

    Regarding the people who say that you get more respect in business if you are married – The opposite is true now –

    In the USA, it does help to show you are in a solid relationship. But take this example:

    I was at a mostly CEO-attended Conference in Paris at the Charles V Hotel for 5 days attended by a lot of old American CEOs and their frumpy spouses. I brought a 25 year old 8 gf to the conference with me and bought an evening gown for the occasion.

    Result:

    1) All the frumpy wives wanted to be best friends with my gf, arranging shopping trips with her during the day while the men did their business at the conference…she was like the most popular girl in school.

    2) All the married men were drooling and, THEREFORE, admiring and envying me. Business was brisk. The idea that they would want to screw me over so she might leave me miserable like them…did not seem to cross their minds.

    Instead, these men were assuming that I must have a lot on the ball to get a gorgeous woman almost half my age. They wanted that magic to maybe rub off on them by being my friend and business partner.

    Do married men really get paid more? If they are Beta, yes. But the married man doesn’t get to take the exciting overseas assignments that could ultimately make him a millionaire. Married men are less likely to risk it all in a new startup.

    That alone is enough reason not to get married for me (startup participation + ability to take assignments in resort areas or foreign places where gorgeous women outnumber men 5 to 1).

    On health and marriage: I feel healthier whenever I have been sleeping in the spoon position next to a wonderful woman. The idea is to arrange life so this happens much of the time….marriage not being necessary to make that happen.

    Gunslinger: In case you were implying this, the above man’s Ukrainian wife was not motivated by money anymore than any American woman would be. The standard of living in the Ukraine is high and most women there will not date US males. This desperation myth is perpetuated by Marxist feminists.

    Like


  234. on October 31, 2009 at 12:58 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””’What, you want us to have the arduous task of finding said strapping young white guys who are looking for work when the majority of the group (the strapping young white guy group) prefers to devote its attention to studying ways to meet-drink-transport somewhere for the purpose of – banging women?”””””’

    What they also enjoy laying bricks in the midle of nowhere. Who do ya think has been laying the groundwork for the solar power or putting up windmills or building the ethanol plants he he he

    Like


  235. on October 31, 2009 at 1:04 pm gunslingergregi

    Plus they already came up with how to seal the border.

    Build the wall and every 50 to 100 yards or so put a remote control gun mount with thermal imaging and motion sensors. Manned by maybe 50 people in another location who are good at first person video games. No one will come into the country that is not invited in through the border. I am willing to set the whole thing up just like when I proposed how to secure the roads in iraq and afganistan. Oh well the worlds not ready for 100 percent wins in war I guess.

    Like


  236. on October 31, 2009 at 1:09 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””Gunslinger: In case you were implying this, the above man’s Ukrainian wife was not motivated by money anymore than any American woman would be. The standard of living in the Ukraine is high and most women there will not date US males. This desperation myth is perpetuated by Marxist feminists.””””””’

    Really are you serious?
    I mean I would think anytime a man had all the time in the world and could wisk any woman away cinderella style to live happily ever after. And also in the beginning of a relationship to have no distraction to romance would be able to find quite a few woman willing to partake of such a deal no matter where in the world he was. The reason I would say in certain countries it might not be pheasable would be because of divorce laws not really so much the woman. Although maybe you could find one that was special it just would be harder than being in a place where any woman would be ok to woo as they couldn’t take all that you had built and fuck with it.

    Like


  237. on October 31, 2009 at 3:19 pm msexceptiontotherule

    If the whole point for getting into a war was to get it all done quickly, well, there wouldn’t be a reason to go to war anymore, now would there?

    And I don’t think they’d want to assign me to a post for gun duty – first person video games make me dizzy and nauseated and that’s just watching someone else playing. I have more geeks in my family than I should, but I never was able to find anyone willing to take a few off of my hands. Maybe I just hadn’t marketed them in the right way to the right people, but at this point I figure I’m stuck though at least they’ve started to move so they’re all in one place that’s across the country from me. That much distance can be good to have in such situations.

    Like


  238. on October 31, 2009 at 3:37 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””’And I don’t think they’d want to assign me to a post for gun duty – first person video games make me dizzy and nauseated and that’s just watching someone else playing. I have more geeks in my family than I should, but I never was able to find anyone willing to take a few off of my hands.””””””’

    You should point them towards asian woman. They will give them a reason to maybe do other thing like make more money. Incentives matter he he he

    Like


  239. on October 31, 2009 at 3:45 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””’If the whole point for getting into a war was to get it all done quickly, well, there wouldn’t be a reason to go to war anymore, now would there? ”””””””

    You could still have war my way albeight one sided total annihlation.

    Like


  240. > I was at a mostly CEO-attended Conference in Paris at the Charles V Hotel for 5 days attended by a lot of old American CEOs and their frumpy spouses. I brought a 25 year old 8 gf to the conference with me and bought an evening gown for the occasion.

    I call bull. The Paris Four Season (the most likely candidate for such an event) is named George V not Charles V. If you cannot even get the name right….

    Like


  241. on October 31, 2009 at 4:02 pm msexceptiontotherule

    Doesn’t total annihilation take the sport out of things?

    If we’re ever going to manage to get enough in the category of strapping young white men to send out to build us a real border between us and anyone we need to have one built …of course it would only be for our protection, just to make sure everyone knows that…we can’t go around making changes that would eliminate any possible part that we could lure them in with, such as the sporting portion that comes with waging a global-scale kind of war against no one specifically, just a couple of countries we’ve put into the group because we haven’t gone and carpet-bombed the entire mapped area in addition to cutting off all supply routes in that entire continental region for each of the countries at the top of the list – at least not for a very long while, and it’s always good to rotate total annihilation around the world….

    Like


  242. on October 31, 2009 at 4:04 pm Not for public

    >I have more geeks in my family than I should, but I never was able to find anyone willing to take a few off of my hands. Maybe I just hadn’t marketed them in the right way to the right people, but at this point I figure I’m stuck though at least they’ve started to move so they’re all in one place that’s across the country from me.

    That brings me to an interesting question: is there something like an alpha geek?

    Like


  243. on October 31, 2009 at 4:07 pm gunslingergregi

    The four seasons owns the found me mountain dew even though I didn’t see it in any stores.

    Like


  244. on October 31, 2009 at 4:10 pm gunslingergregi

    Sometimes againt an aggresive ideology it takes total anihilation to cure the disease.

    Like


  245. ab–

    No one should take any of your spouting seriously. You cite no studies nor provide enough information for anyone to google them. That would be a minimum requirement for taking you seriously. Really what would be needed is to trust that you are fairly citing from what’s out there, instead of just cherry picking for you side.

    Like


  246. Another reason why men who stay married or live with a full-time cook after age 40 is the ease with which they obtain the nutritional requirement of older males that can keep them from dying early like their ancestors.

    Prostate cancer looms for those men who don’t eat plenty of tomatoes, pomegranates and apples (or an equivalent healthy diet). Men need to avoid eating “bachelor” processed foods like hot dogs, spam, hamburgers, potato chips, etc. A good wife or good cook or a series of live-in girlfriends can keep an older male properly fed and free of cancer.

    So that and the good night’s sleep (chemical/hormone release) they get from hugging someone throughout the night, can keep a man healthy if it is constant (which is what stable LTRs bring).

    I’ve also come to understand that steady sex in one’s 40s and 50s keeps prostate cancer from happening. The last thing a man needs in that age range is for someone to divorce him and steal so much money that he is unable to date a high quality other woman or travel or join a startup that can make him millions.

    Or the last thing a man needs in his 40s and 50s is to be with a woman he does not WANT to have sex with…thus leaving his prostate unused and prone to cancer.

    More on the lethal effects of the Divorce Theft Industry that can leave men with unused prostates in their 40s and 50s:

    Heck, even those men who go the prostitute route couldn’t afford – if raped by alimony payments – the $1000 necessary to convince a healthy upper middle class stripper to get used to being with him, to go to dinner with him and later agree to $300 “massage” sessions (for health reasons, I would not advise any man to have intercourse with a prostitute who would sleep with anyone and does not need to be wined and dined by a prospective customer).

    Men don’t discuss enough how they’d not only rather spend their alimony amounts on lapdances than give it to an ex-wife…but that it would be healthier for them if they did do that.

    I want to repeat that the Divorce Theft Industry’s ability to stop a man in his 40s from traveling and/or joining a startup is the equivalent of trying to kill him. Thank God I didn’t get married and caught in that industry’s clutches.

    [I call bull. The Paris Four Season (the most likely candidate for such an event) is named George V not Charles V. If you cannot even get the name right….]

    Go jump in a lake – are you a visitor here? Do you think people here need to say “I worked for such and such Corporation and we were at the George V last October at the Such and Such Trade Show”?

    1) Do you think people on this site or men in general have the luxury of accurately describing the exact (irrelevant) places, names and times of events that can end up pissing off their business partners and their wives if the man makes comments about their depressing marital state? Sure, it would have been the George V if the event were actually held in Paris instead of an equivalent. The names were changed to protect the innocent – myself.

    2) It sounds like you have a vested interest in pretending men do better who are married – discrediting someone because they seemingly and quite innocently got a proper name wrong, possibly after several years, is the oldest trick in the book for people who cannot debate properly. People forget proper names quickly. The events that surround the use of proper names are what they don’t forget. So even if the event did take place in Paris at the George V, I could easily have remembered it as Charles V.

    I don’t even remember the exact local name of the actua hotel in the actual city. I could look it up in 30 seconds if I wanted to but the info isn’t relevant. Think about…why would I provide that kind of info? Why would I bother to take the 30 seconds to look it up for my own interest now?

    The relevant info that I do remember without looking up is that, because I had the luxury of still being single, I bought a college student a fancy dress and promised her a 5 star vacation in a dream city in Europe and she shared my $400 per night room and impressed the daylights out of a lot of American + European CEOs and their wives.

    QED: It is a total myth that being married helps your career…unless you are talking about the added (considerable) benefit of having someone to iron your clothes and cook you a fried egg while you are in the shower in the morning. But you can hire a maid to do that. Getting married because you cannot afford a maid is a dumb idea.

    The reality is that being successful helps your SINGLE love life. Why be married while you are poor so that, when you are later in the 5 star hotels, you aren’t able to leverage that into hot dates?

    Believe me, many young woman would gladly go with you to Las Vegas or Monte Carlo for a week, and you’d be stupid not to ask if someone else is paying for your double room (and your plane ticket) anyway.

    3) You call yourself “Anonymous”. I bet that is not your real name. If you can’t get that right….wait…my name isn’t real either. I forgot what name I am supposed to use for this post. But it doesn’t matter because proper names are simply not relevant in a discussion like this.

    When an idiot briefly took over another men’s forum last year, he got angry with me for saying the Republican Party was screwed if it continued to condemn premarital sex.

    The excuse he used to stop my writing privileges temporarily was that I got the name “Dallas Fort Worth Star Telegram” wrong. Apparently it was just the Fort Worth Star Telegram or something that totally did not matter.

    What he was really dissing me about was my opinion on premarital sex (porn and strip clubs) needing to be embraced as an “individual right” by the Republican Party.

    Like


  247. Jack Weldon–

    1) Polygamy becomes legal (she’s the gf I have in this particular town but there are other towns)

    The law is not the main problem re: polygamy. It’s the culture. The women’s friends most of all.

    If you are legally married to one woman, no you can’t also be legally married to another woman. The question appropriately asked here is why you’d want to be legally married to any woman.

    That will automatically give the woman you’re legally married to strong rights as compared to the other woman. It can be less so with a prenup. A lot less so. Women bearing your children will automatically have support rights under current American law in all the states, but that’s irrespective or marital status.

    Like


  248. Bhetti

    you quoting a swedish study:

    Divorce laws were created to ensure a fair split of all the assets of the union, including allowances for the emotional support a non-working partner gives to the other.

    That emotional support the non working or lower income partner provided was recompensed during the union by things the other partner provided during it, including probably material benefits.

    Why should it be recompensed further after the union dissolves when both partners can work, or if one can’t, it’s due to their particular individual disabilities, rather than falling into a class (women in some times and places) who couldn’t or could only extremely rarely do so in any well paid way?

    What we’re down to here is a theory of an implied promise of lifetime support. Or extended support. If the idea of post marital benefits to the lower or no earning spouse is to have any validity. With gay divorce throwing this into sharp focus.

    Why shouldn’t such a promise have to be explicit — since so very often the supposed promising party only thinks there’s such a promise if the other party also enforcibly agrees to love them forever?

    Like


  249. on October 31, 2009 at 9:33 pm msexceptiontotherule

    If there is such a thing as an alpha geek, the only way to find out is by suffering through the process that takes place AFTER you ask the question.

    It’s so trying I won’t even put myself in the position of having to deal with it just because I wanted to ask some of the family one simple question.

    Simple. Yeah, as long as it hadn’t been fully uttered with enough of a pause they decided was enough of an end in what I was speaking about and mistakenly addressed to them.

    Dinner can be very pleasant when they’re all out in other countries at the time. At least the missionary ones, and the ones that only had enough money to go, not to come back though.

    Like


  250. Doug1
    ab–

    No one should take any of your spouting seriously. You cite no studies nor provide enough information for anyone to google them. That would be a minimum requirement for taking you seriously. Really what would be needed is to trust that you are fairly citing from what’s out there, instead of just cherry picking for you side.

    Hi Doug,

    Actually I cited two studies in my first post: Marital Status and Happiness: A 17-Nation Study, Steven Stack and J. Ross Eshleman, 1998 and Sexual Exclusivity among Dating, Cohabiting, and Married Women, Renata Forste and Koray Tanfe, 1998.

    But there are many more, and googling happiness and marriage ( or health and marriage, etc.) will bring you to a huge number of them. Virtually all serious social science research agrees on the large benefits of marriage. Waite 1995 provides one overview of the literature on these benefits (she wrote a book later which has been dumbed on for the general public; the scholarly article is better).

    This is a heavily studied issue so a lot of research exists: here is more: Gove Hughes Style 1983, 1990; Kessler and Essex 1982; Glenn and Weaver 1979, 1988. Any demography/sociology textbook will tell you the same.

    Like


  251. Spoken like a true child. Whether married or not, we need to make women chase us, lest they chase others. And yet, the end goal should be to recognise and acknowledge our life partners when we find them, and in doing so, to move beyond aplha. It isn’t a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength.

    On the other hand, if they feel as though we will one day commit to them forever more, and we have no such intention, we are guilty of deceiving them in the most selfish, despicable manner. Long-term deception of this kind is never okay.

    Like


  252. @Dreamer

    This was a very jaded post, but unfortunately I think it’s representative of the modern view of marriage.

    I don’t know if it’s jaded, more like realist. Notice there isn’t really a ‘value’ judgement here, just an crystal observation of the situation.

    Like


  253. on November 1, 2009 at 1:30 pm Passing through

    Van Gogh:

    “From time to time, just as the waves crush themselves against the deaf, desperate cliffs, a storm of desire to embrace something, a woman of the domestic hen type, but anyway one must take that for what it is, an effect of hysterical over-excitement rather than an accurate vision of reality.”

    http://www.lrb.co.uk/v31/n21/julian-bell/for-those-who-dont-know/print

    Like


  254. @Thras
    ——–
    The happiest men I know are all married with kids. People I know who live their lives like you (and me) don’t tend to be all that fulfilled.

    It’s hard to get respect when you’re 30 and talking about your “girlfriend” instead of your “wife.” Maybe you can be Alpha with the ladies, but respect from your fellows is damn important too.
    —–

    You’re hanging around with the wrong people. You don’t get your validation from married folks.

    And you don’t talk about your girlfriend. Talk about the things you do, the places you go, the liberty you have, and if you feel like it, the number of chicks you boned…. something married men will never get a taste of after signing that contract.

    More often than not, married friends disappear from your life. They have their own obligations and duties. Can’t blame them though. You can catch up with them once in a while, but it is time to make new UNMARRIED friends, or find something else to do. They want to play the legal soulmate/breeding game, so wish them good luck.

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  255. @Ace

    —-
    On the other hand, if they feel as though we will one day commit to them forever more, and we have no such intention, we are guilty of deceiving them in the most selfish, despicable manner. Long-term deception of this kind is never okay.
    —-

    Nothing wrong with stringing her along for a ride. Efficiency in game.

    If confronted, declare you have no intention of marrying her, or marrying at all. Reply with this: “I never said that I will marry you one day, you just assumed that some day I will. If you’re unhappy, there’s the door.”

    Seriously, there is nothing wrong for a man to be a cad and break some maiden’s pure loving heart. On the contrary, Miss Maiden’s gina may tingle more furiously and experience greater wetness at your display of nonchalance. Because at the end of the day, gina tingles are your desired results. She is nothing more than her hole, end of story.

    Like


  256. ab —

    1) I strongly doubt the causality as opposed to some correclation. Most successful and high status men still marry. Among those who don’ marry are men who can’t get much sex without marrying; these men are unlikely to be happy.

    2) Marriage usually does make people happy initially; or even more accurately; people do tend to be happy and in love before they get married, and that doesn’t usually disappear immediately. In the West in this age of non arranged marriages I do think that the period of engagement is usually a very happy one.

    3) divorce often makes men very unhappy, and much more unhappy than before they were married. I think this is particularly true in the last 10-15 years, when divorce extractions have gottten worse and worse, and alimony and even long term alimony has come back in many states, making men long term unwilling indentured servants to their ex wives, who live off them. Many studies on the effects of marriage on happiness exclude divorced men. You can’t be divorced and forced to pay alimony on top of child support containing an alimony component without getting married.

    4) Marriage has gotten worse for men even before divorce. Wives cook and do housework less than ever. American culture essentially tells American women that they rightfully have overwhelming say in what housework will be done and what the children’s activities will be, plus the right to assign half of what she wants done to her husband. American women are told by our entertainment media and culture that their husband should largely cater to them in the marriage, agree with their choice of house and neigborhood, and that the wife is always right and should be agreed with, wise husbands learn. Game can reverse a lot of this but it’s a battle, and the battle is much tougher when she has the security of a ring on her finger and divorce American style a call to her lawyer away.

    Like


  257. @Doug1
    your comments here are pretty interesting… although i don’t reveal much about myself on the site b/c i’m not into giving away much online, it’d be great to talk to u sometime otherwise – [email protected]. 😉

    Like


  258. SMH @ dreamer moving in on Bhetti’s man.

    *chic noir thinks to self*

    Folks wonder why I tease him about being a smooth alpha. Tom Jones came proper.

    Doug American women are told by our entertainment media and, agree with their choice of house and neigborhood, and that the wife is always right and should be agreed with, wise husbands learn.

    This is something a couple must must must sit down and discuss before marriage. Who will do what chores under what circumstances. In two earner households, will babysit his children should he become unemployed. Of course some people will try to change things after they have the ring on their finger …

    The fact that so many people do what popular culture tells them without deeper thought is troubling.

    doug culture that their husband should largely cater to them in the marriage

    I see this a bit differently. I think both spouses are taught that they must cater to their children 24/7 365. marriage is for the benefit of children but couples need time for each other and personal time. I don’t get why so many Americans feel the need to micro manage every breathing moment of their child’s life even to the determent of the marriage.

    Like


  259. on November 2, 2009 at 7:52 am msexceptiontotherule

    Alright, I’m gonna suggest something that may cause some people to flip out and tell me it’s horrible and likely to bring about an end to the world….

    If you have a problem with how much the woman in your life spends cleaning and making sure that the house doesn’t only look nice superficially so it can be exposed for it’s actual state just by opening one cabinet door, though everywhere else in the house will have something similar that will no doubt launch and bury any small children you may have in the debris that rained down after you opened that hall closet door…..

    You could try maybe picking your feet up when she’s trying to vacuum around where you’re sitting doing nothing critical. Maybe even get off your butt and do some cleaning yourself, but that’s probably better suited to someone who isn’t throwing rocks at their glass house for some reason when they call their woman lazy.

    Or you can marry someone who spent time serving in the military. I never folded so well in my life before the Mr.

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  260. on November 2, 2009 at 8:00 am msexceptiontotherule

    It’s actually getting more important to be able to pack everything needed for 5 days of clothing appropriate for two entirely different environments and everything else one piece of luggage small enough for carry-on AND without wrinkles when unpacked – with the new airline fees now. Of course it still sucks that they only allow one book of matches; not everyone plans something terrible as the reason for needing a lighter when traveling!

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  261. Since Jack brought it up, Ukrainian women are not always keen to marry and go overseas, at least not the US. My wife was dating a 30 year old Russian oil executive when I met her, who made very good money and had a promising future. My wife speaks six languages and is a trained simultaenous interpreter. She had a lot of options. I truly wanted to lock her in and consider it oen of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. That is indeed a feminist myth. My marriage has also boosted my career but because my wife is young and beautiful and my peers think I have my shit together because I could attract and keep such a woman.

    For Anon: as someone who also lives the ex-pat life, Jack talks like the real deal. I believe him based on his postings.

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  262. Thras
    “The happiest men I know are all married with kids.”
    Thras, let me let you in on a little secret. The men are lying. When I divorced and I discussed it with my closest friends they were all shocked because I looked like a ‘happily married man’. Good men keep their bad marriages secret. And most of them are bad marriages.

    Having been a ‘beta-provider’ for 23 years and married 18 of those and even raising her two kids from a previous marriage only to be aggressively persued in the divorce courts of not one but TWO countries the answer is this. DO NOT GET MARRIED.

    I had sex with three women to 45, one of them only once. Last 18 months I guess it is 15-20 and they are HOT and in the 30-35 bracket which looks pretty young to me. I have women who want to marry me so badly they will stay at my place for the entire weekend giving me everything I want. Man, this is THE life. No wife and kids to pay for. I pay no spousal or child support because they are voluntary and I don’t volunteer. Nope..most married men are far less happy than most single men.

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  263. Bhetti
    “Marriage is about building a family and propagating your legacy in the form of children that serve as the vehicles of it.”
    Go fuck yourself with a vibrator you stupid bitch. Marriage is nothing more than a three way contract that puts the state in the prime position and screws the man over for life….period. There is no religion in marriage. You don’t get divorced in a church, you get divorced in a court. It’s only about the contract. And the contract is actually fraudulent.

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  264. Tyrone
    “I married at 45 to a Ukrainian woman 17 years younger and we live in a foreign country with man friendly divorce laws.”
    Way to go Tyrone! My fav#1 is Ukrainian and 11 years younger than me…and I am 45 as well…these chicks know how to please a man….and they know they have to keep going after marriage as well I am told by guys who have married them.

    “My wife speaks six languages and is a trained simultaenous interpreter.”
    Yep…my fav#1 speaks 6 languages quite well…english is one of her lesser languages. When we go to dinner she usually orders in the language of the restaurant we are eating at…german, french, italian, etc. Guys who see me sitting with her just shake their heads in wonder how a guy a bit ‘past it’ can land a chick like that. Simple. She wants a husband. She has been trying for 18 months but I think we are starting to drift apart now. She’s dating other guys and I date other women. Feminism works very well for men when there are lots of hot young chicks flooding out of eastern europe!

    Thursday
    “A good marriage is one of the top factors in raising your happiness.”
    Only trouble is, there are no good marriages in the west any more because there are no good western women. Tell you what, rather than reading biased and bogus studies talk to some divorced guys who are no longer protecting their wife about having a ‘good marriage’.

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  265. […] quote she attributes to this blog is from this post. I notice she decided not to quote more pertinent passages from that post, which would add context […]

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