Owning A Dog Is Training For Owning A Woman

I was sitting on a bench in a compact, refurbished dog park that had been covered in a fake grass like Astroturf — call it Turdturf — upon which 15 or 20 dogs were frolicking and licking each others’ balls while their owners talked amongst themselves and tried to avoid stepping on the smaller dogs. After spending some time wondering where the dog piss drains in the fake grass, I poked my companion.

“Check out that guy over there. The guy with the boxer. His dog is totally owning him.”

In the middle of the park a khaki-wearing herb was being ritually humiliated by his burly boxer. The dog ignored him, disobeyed him, and generally made a nuisance of itself careening into other dogs and people and sniffing a multitude of crotches with tremendous gusto. The herb feebly tried to corral his dog, begging and pleading with it to behave, and the dog… well, I’m almost positive the dog laughed at him, if dogs can do such a thing. The dog had a look that said “Yeah, this tool gives me free food. What a chump!” It was a demonstration of pure mockery, dog owning owner.

2730The whole scene reaffirmed a belief I have that properly owning a dog is excellent training for properly owning a woman. The behavior of dogs and women is eerily similar, and their relation to man testifies to that.

Like dogs, women need to be led. They *want* to be led. In fact, though they will never admit it, women want to be owned by their men. (I loved that he was so powerful I was nothing. – O on her lover)

Like dogs, women will walk all over you if you let them.

Like dogs, women will test you for your alpha status the moment you show weakness. There’s nothing dogs and women loathe more than being adrift in a non-hierarchical relationship. They both need to slip comfortably behind you in an established pecking order. It is there they find deep, true happiness and contentment.

Like dogs, women need to be trained. Shit tests are essentially a woman telling you “Please train me to respect you.” Oblige her.

Like dogs, women respond best to strong verbal and nonverbal commands. If you stare down a dog, it will always turn away first, if it recognizes your authority. Women will do the same.

Like dogs, women will eventually take to the leash, metaphorical or literal.

Like dogs, women want to be told to roll over.

Like dogs, women will hump anything if you allow them.

Dog training is alpha training; keeping a dog in line and assuming the role of pack leader will redound to other areas of your life. The skills and mindset required to rule the dog pack are not much different than the game required to rule a woman. You will soon learn what it means to have a commanding presence when you are the owner of a naturally unruly dog.

I have no doubt that the herb with the disobedient boxer is a doormat in his relationship, if he is in one. I’m sure that, like his boxer shits on the carpet, his girlfriend shits on his soul. If you are a beta, my advice is to save the $5,000 you would spend on a seduction workshop and instead pick up a dog at your local shelter. Since you will not be sexually attracted to the dog, you will find it very easy to work on your alpha leadership skills with it. Then what you learn with the dog will carry over into your dealings with women.

PS: Has the Afghan hound always been the dog of choice of the upper class? I can see why. The dog looks snobby, and it never sniffs the ground. Afghans keep their heads up when walking. It might as well be called the Alpha hound.





Comments


  1. Afghan hound? Ugliest dog ever.

    Boxers are alpha dogs. You can’t be a beta bitch with one.

    Oh yeah, FIRST!

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  2. I call BS on this one.

    Like


  3. Dogs, like ladies, can sense a beta. A guy who can’t handle his dog is going to be the same guy who gets walked all over by his girlfriend.

    Like


  4. By the way, not to blog pimp, but the “girl holding dog” picture on my blog is better.

    Like


  5. That herb also demonstrated the current form of child rearing, the pleading parent style that leads to feral humans.

    Like


  6. Good analogy

    Like


  7. Russian Wolfhounds are the most regal dogs and they only recognize one master – the alpha.

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  8. Afghan Hounds have a kind of aristocratic bearing about them.

    Though they are dumb as doorknobs.

    Like


  9. Makes sense. Most female dog owners let their dogs run their lives to the point of parody. I was visited recently by an old flame I had not seen in years. She rules her new Herb and her dog rules the both of them. A woman truly in search of an Alpha.

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  10. on September 23, 2009 at 12:33 pm ironrailsironweights

    Since you will not be sexually attracted to the dog

    Presumably.

    Peter

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  11. Watch the Dog Whisperer and imagine he’s talking about your girlfriend or wife.

    Apply the advice and watch your life improve.

    Like


  12. “Since you will not be sexually attracted to the dog

    Presumably.

    Peter”

    Well, dogs do have quite a GNP…

    Like


  13. German Shepherds: best, most gorgeous dogs there are

    Great Danes: the most noble creature on earth besides Man. A deep, rumbling bark, used sparingly but with blood-curdling effect.

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  14. Damn. We had an Afghan when I was growing up. Dumbest dog ever.

    Like


  15. i had this same thought over the weekend. i was in a ski town for a blues festival. being in colorado, it was filled with bohemians and their vagrant dogs. these dogs are the most obedient you’ll find. they can walk around town, amongst cars, without a leash. i was jealous because my dog bolts as soon as he’s freed from one.

    but these dogs are so loyal because their owners treat them like dogs. they don’t beat them, they just don’t elevate them to human status like so many other people do. they fall into that hierarchy. also, these vagrant type dogs follow their masters instead of leading them. it’s a very interesting dynamic. good post.

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  16. Unfair. Dogs are loyal.

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  17. Actually ladies are more like CATS

    and men are more like DOGS

    In fact if you yourself act more like a dog, you can get away with much more.

    In fact alpha males act more like dogs.

    Think about it… when your dog doesn’t understand wtf you want from it and does whatever it wants, you let it.

    Because the amount of time and power it takes to train the dog to not do that is enormous. And you are only able to do it because your dog is alone and isolated in your house. If it’s always among other dogs, forget about it.

    Nah, alpha men are the dogs. Run wild with their natural instincts. Learn to pet a cat and you’ve learned a lot about women.

    Like


  18. Are you implying that you fuck dogs too?

    Like


  19. Damn, OM, you beat me to it!

    I think in “The Game” Strauss discusses how one of the books on their required reading list was about dog training.

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  20. on September 23, 2009 at 12:53 pm Rover Red Rover

    Every time my woman gives me lip I yell, “Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch!” and she obeys.

    This also explains why she likes doggy style and why she is always climbing onto my lap to fetch herself a bone.

    It’s all making sense to me know.

    Like


  21. I saw a twink yesterday in a Prius, with a bumper sticker that said “Wag More, bark less”

    Why, why, WHY must people insist on being walking cliches? And if they must, why not pick a cool one, like a rock star who OD’s in a hotel roomwhile banging a groupie?

    Like


  22. The G Manifesto just called me. He said that cool rock stars normally bang three groupies at a time.

    Duly noted.

    Like


  23. Brilliant. Just…brilliant.

    Like


  24. There is much truth to this post. It deserves a corollary post about how the alpha male resembles a cat: aloof, distant, independent, sparing in its affection. Most cat lovers are women, and it doesn’t seem to be a coincidence.

    Like


  25. Do any straight people own Afghans?

    Like


  26. Roosh did a post way back in 2006 about how men are like dogs and women like cats..some anology about his interaction with a starbucks barrista

    Like


  27. Again, what everyone says is “alpha” is different.

    Sure if you are domineering and violently jerk your dog to where you want to go, etc. you will develop a different dynamic. I’m sure that men who beat their girlfriends also have a different dynamic from men who don’t.

    Women are humans too though…

    Like


  28. It’s also hilarious to see how utterly clueless women are when it comes to taking control of their worthless little dust mops.

    Men were put on this earth to rule man and beast. Women were put here to defer to the authority of men.

    Like


  29. Confession time: the only stranger who ever frightened me.

    I’m sitting in a cafe, sketching to pass the time, not paying much attention to my surroundings. The something like electricity fills the air. I look up to find its source, and there’s a man, tall, and not extremely handsome technically, but with beautiful piercing black eyes. Orbiting him is a small framed woman I recognized as the former girlfriend of my upstairs neighbor. Standing like four legged soldiers on either side of him was a rottweiler.

    He did not ask. His dogs, doing the equivalent of goose stepping alongside him, were joining him in the cafe. The woman followed. I wasn’t sure if to speak to her or not. My internal Domdar was flashing and beeping like crazy.

    Much to my surprise, he smiles. I realize my mouth is hanging open, and I’m trembling a little. He turns and says something I can’t hear to the woman, but I guess it was confirmation that I was someone she’d spoken of before because she nodded, and then they came to sit with me.

    The dogs have not barked, did not put a paw on the sofas, and as he sat, they lay down and waited. They sat up whenever someone passed, and occasionally amused or licked one another, but that was about it.

    It didn’t need to be spoken, but just for confirmation and conversation, the woman had taken my advice and found herself a truly Dominant man. That was a good night.

    I’m not sure why I felt fear, but I’m guessing it’s that “something” alpha, because it’s the same kind of fear I feel around my dad, uncles, and a few male friends. It’s a kind of, “If this person criticises me, I will cry.”

    I don’t feel that often.

    So yes, dogs. A dog will probably tell you how alpha you are, and help you improve if you’re slipping somewhere.

    Like


  30. […] here:  Owning A Dog Is Training For Owning A Woman Bookmark It Hide Sites […]

    Like


  31. Gregory Magarshak

    “BEING NICE IS FOR FITTING IN WITH A SOCIAL GROUP.”

    Being nice is for fitting in with a social group by claiming low status: please don’t beat me because I’m so unimportant. Maybe you still want to do it but realize what you’re doing.

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  32. Fun tip to instantly see if someone is a proper pack leader to his dog or not: when walking does the dog lead or does the person lead? Dogs have an instinct to never walk ahead of the alpha and will follow if they know their proper place in the pack (below the humans).

    Like


  33. O-Face said:

    “Just curious..also when a girl is attracted to you , makes out with you at a bar, how do you transition to your bedroom..Do you explicitly say ‘come back to my place’. how do you dominate the frame to get her back to your place without being too pushy or needy?”

    You don’t ask. you say

    “Let’s go back to my place and play Wii (or smoke a J, or drink some wine, or any excuse).”

    If she protests, say

    “Hour max. I gotta get up early”

    I recommend Wii boxing

    Like


  34. Are you saying that you want to fuck dogs

    Like


  35. Nammers
    have it right
    they eat dogs

    Like


  36. you really really
    imagined that
    well

    Like


  37. Being out and about with a dog (if moderately well controlled and good looking/cute/funny loong in an interesting way) is a great chick magnet too.

    Like


  38. Its not gay

    cuz there’s a girl involved

    Like


  39. Andrew Zimmern has a show on Travel Channel Asia called Bizarre Doods where he fucks a dog, then eats it.

    It’s #1 in Viet Nam

    Like


  40. Man dogs are so much better than ladies anyway.

    Also, don’t date whores, they won’t cheat on you so much yah dood brah.

    Like


  41. I’ve always wanted to know about that intelligence ranking for dogs.

    I once trained my bitch to roll over
    and my dog to stop using his credit card.

    Not bragging, bc there was no way it coulda been the other way around.

    mout

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  42. came upon a lovely quote:

    “The child is laughing: The Game is my wisdom and my love
    The young is singing: The Love is my wisdom and my game
    The old is silent: The Wisdom is my love and my game” (Lucian Blaga – 3 Faces)

    Like


  43. I just looked up photos of Afghan Hounds.

    It’s like looking at Lassie while on acid.

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  44. This is a really bad-trip scary afghan hound Lassie:

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  45. I thought that women love cats because, in most female minds, cats resemble cute little babies. So, they get their estrogen fix off of that. Similarly, most women sorta hate their cats because the cats refuse to act like dolls…since cats are basically asocial murderers. They’d rather ignore the clumsy grasping and hugging of their owners and hunt.

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  46. “exactly. many people believe women swoon for cats because cats embody the feminine spirit, but this is only partly true. women are drawn to cats mostly because cats embody the spirit of the alpha male. The woman with multiple cats is a woman without an alpha male in her life. she finds spiritual succor in her cats where she can’t find it in the men available to her.

    similarly, men generally prefer dogs to cats not because dogs are necessarily male in nature, but because dogs behave LIKE WOMEN when they are properly trained — loyal, loving, submissive, responsive to commands, admiring of an alpha pack leader. in short, dogs allow men to feel like alpha kings. this is why a man with a well-behaved dog is likely a man with a well-behaved woman.”

    What then of (hot) women who love dogs?Particularly,big dogs.I’ve known quite a few.Whats the insight into them?

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  47. Have you also noticed that women are unable to control even medium-sized dogs?

    Women lack the ability to be true alphas. An alpha is a leader of men and beasts. Women, even when ruling a man, do not do so through rising to the top of the pyramid; instead, they suck a man down to her level.

    Women rule men through petty, unrelenting nagging and soul-sucking. Those tactics do not work on dogs.

    Thus, even the same women who have their men in check, can’t even control a medium-sized dog.

    Like


  48. Greenland isn’t all that green

    Like


  49. As long as we’re making generalizations. Women with bigger dogs seem to be better gf material than chicks with small dogs. just saying.

    Think of Mariah Carey or Paris Hilton with their toy pups. skanks. The animal is just an accessory to dote on and ignore. Girls with real dogs are willing to deal with bigger issues and make compromises and stuff. More GNC for female big dog owners.

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  50. the best dog is your parents´ dog or your married brothers´ dog.

    you can play alpha as much as you want and avoid dog´s shit, worry about dog´s food, about the inherent gayness of having a dog looking at you while you jerk off and barking while you fuck a girl

    also, fucking a girl who owns a dog kind of feel, for you and the dog, like a cuckolding

    [editor: if david alexander has a dog, it’s the most psychologically damaged dog in the world.]

    Like


  51. Greenland isn’t all that green

    even the guy who wrote “first” in the first comment considered this comment silly

    Like


  52. You should get a TLC show entitled,
    The Snatch Whisperer where feeble herbs and lesser betas plead for you to come to their homes and teach them how to get their women to ‘take to the leash’ so to speak. That would be a half hour of awesomeness.

    Like


  53. @ anonymous

    are there much timber in Timberland?

    Like


  54. What’s the deal with girls and horses? I have asked a couple of women about this recently, and one of them said something like, “it’s the feeling of power you get by having such a large and powerful creature obey your commands.”

    Like


  55. Backdoor Man:
    “What’s the deal with girls and horses? I have asked a couple of women about this recently, and one of them said something like, “it’s the feeling of power you get by having such a large and powerful creature obey your commands.”

    No, it’s the feeling they get of having a powerful creature between their legs.

    Like


  56. One time in high school I held down and masturbated my girlfriend while she was lying on top of my dog. The whole pack was in order.

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  57. I’ve noticed the more dominate you are with a woman, the more she assumes the doggy style position without coaxing and will often say it’s her favorite.

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  58. What’s the deal with girls and horses?

    same deal with motos and the same deal of being lifted by a man in his shoulders. the thrill of opening their legs in a quasi-sexual way

    Like


  59. He’s going lowbrow with the “X are like dogs” lists. Maybe the day will come where he can market a little birthday card/t-shirt /etc. of this?
    Don’t say it can’t be done. Yesterday, I saw a bumper sticker that said “My Wife says I never listen to her – She’s Right!!” .

    Like


  60. may be you should make a video/audio of one of your pickups..I would love to see how you dominate as well as be funny at the same time..I mean i get you are cocky, but what about facial expressions..do you smile at all? laugh?

    Just curious..also when a girl is attracted to you , makes out with you at a bar, how do you transition to your bedroom..Do you explicitly say ‘come back to my place’. how do you dominate the frame to get her back to your place without being too pushy or needy?

    Like


  61. CH and Talleyrand on are the same wavelength today:

    What Men Have Selected In Dogs and Women

    Now only if a woman could lick herself like a dog…

    Like


  62. I noticed long ago that the modesty of a girl-jogger’s clothes is inversely proportional to the size of the dog or male companion jogging with her.

    A huge guy letting his girlfriend jog alongside half-naked, knowing she draws stares from guys: alpha or beta?

    Like


  63. “Have you also noticed that women are unable to control even medium-sized dogs?”

    My neighbor, a 40 year old spinster, is like this.

    Every time her dog, about a 40 pound mutt, sees another dog, or has an urge to smell something off the beaten path, she gets violently jerked around and pulled every which way.

    The dog is at least 8 years old. She’s had it for as long as I’ve known her.

    She yells at him and pulls his leash to no avail.

    At least she has an alpha male in her life though. He seems to pass all of her shit tests. I can tell, by all the affection she gives him that she is deeply in love.

    Like


  64. If I speak to my girl in a stern voice and she lays down and pees on the carpet, am I doing it right?

    Like


  65. Dog size is somewhat dependent on locale; lots of women in mountain towns have german shephards, labs, huskies, etc. Those dogs don’t fit well in apartment cities.

    Women can’t physically control large or medium dogs, but they can train them to be obedient. It takes will, just like it does for men.

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  66. The cat thing, yes, relationship game=alpha dog owner, ok fine but for the attraction phase= think of it like getting a cat’s attention? No sudden movements, be cool, don’t grab, etc.

    I do find it funny that girls act like goofballs around cats and can’t help but do an unintentional imitation of what ch calls beta pickup attempts, too much grabby and yelling.

    Like


  67. I keep a box of Triscuts by my bed. When one of my girls does something I like, for instance – let me blast on her face, I give her one and rub her belly.

    Chicks are so much fun, everyone should have a couple.

    Like


  68. Since we’re talking about dogs,I’ve decided to bring back Cigstache.

    http://www.uglypeople.se/view-picture.php?picture=442

    And does anybody remember this charming couple?

    http://www.uglypeople.se/view-picture.php?picture=755

    Like


  69. do you fuck your women like you fuck your dogs?

    Like


  70. on September 23, 2009 at 3:30 pm ironrailsironweights

    Being out and about with a dog (if moderately well controlled and good looking/cute/funny loong in an interesting way) is a great chick magnet too.

    Or, as the dog said:

    Being out and about with a man (if moderately well controlled and good looking/cute/funny loong in an interesting way) is a great bitch magnet too.

    Peter

    Like


  71. on September 23, 2009 at 3:33 pm ironrailsironweights

    Ali Larter was a very sexy girl but small boobs.

    She looks hot while jogging.

    Peter

    Like


  72. guy letting his girlfriend jog alongside half-naked, knowing she draws stares from guys: alpha or beta?

    a guy who encourages slutty behaviour and takes pleasure on the effect of that on others ? this fits exactly with my observation that bigger/stronger guys tend to match with sluttier girls because sluts overvalue physical strenght

    Like


  73. I can just imagine it

    saturday nights with ch

    His girl and his dog

    he beats the dog, beats the girl, forces the dog to mount the girl. Then he fucks the dog in the ass and then sticks his dog-shit covered dick right into her vagina.

    ALPHA MALE BEHAVIOUR

    [editor: the sumptuous, perverted imagination of some of my gay readers. truly impressive!]

    Like


  74. considering how the dyke feministrix and chicy fuckface look and act, the dog metaphor is quite, quite appropriate

    Like


  75. FWIW, I love dogs, and I don’t understand the appeal of cats. But I am allergic to cats, so…

    You know, people own dogs till their deaths, and they love their dogs. They don’t feed them once and throw them back into the streets. At least not outside third world countries they don’t.

    The relationship a human has with a dog is rather unlike the relationship a PUA has with a bar skank.

    Like


  76. boobs are like leather seats in a car: great if they’re there, but not a dealbreaker.

    Like


  77. note also how the dyke comes when she’s called.

    Like


  78. “Since you will not be sexually attracted to the dog, you will find it very easy to work on your alpha leadership skills with it.”

    so if your a beta and your sexually attracted to your dog, the would he have a hard time developing his alpha skills? Will he take the dog out for expensive dog treats or but the dog in a sweater?

    Like


  79. This article states that Afghan hounds are the LEAST INTELLIGENT dog according to 200 judges from Canadian and U.S. Kennel clubs based on how many repetitions it took for these dogs to learn a new command,

    http://www.petmedsonline.org/least-intelligent-dogs.html

    I have no idea if that is true, and am not asserting it, but others on the list were:
    Basenji , Bulldog, Russian Wolfdog, Bloodhound, Pekingese, Mastif, Bassett Hound, Chow Chow.
    Afghans came in first place as the dumbest pooch out there.

    I looked this up because I remember reading an article once many years ago in which a dog trainer complained that “Afghans were so dumb that they couldn’t find the end of their own leash” and remembered it when ch mentioned that breed of dog. They are magnificent looking dogs though with a unique figure, however stupid they may be.

    Cocker spaniels, which are adorable, are given to a host of kidney problems due to inbreeding. There is a “Dog biodiversity”, yet dogs are all still canines of the same species. Its interesting because some look so radically different from one another—with seemingly more genetic disparity than cats seem to exhibit with regards to fur texture and markings (but not color). Interesting that.

    Like


  80. Watch the Dog Whisperer and imagine he’s talking about your girlfriend or wife.

    Absolutely. Cesar has great body language, always “calm and assertive” (to use his words), even if he’s breaking up a dog fight. Most of his advice applies just as well to dealing with people as dogs.

    Like


  81. backdoor man:
    There is much truth to this post. It deserves a corollary post about how the alpha male resembles a cat: aloof, distant, independent, sparing in its affection. Most cat lovers are women, and it doesn’t seem to be a coincidence.

    exactly. many people believe women swoon for cats because cats embody the feminine spirit, but this is only partly true. women are drawn to cats mostly because cats embody the spirit of the alpha male. The woman with multiple cats is a woman without an alpha male in her life. she finds spiritual succor in her cats where she can’t find it in the men available to her.

    similarly, men generally prefer dogs to cats not because dogs are necessarily male in nature, but because dogs behave LIKE WOMEN when they are properly trained — loyal, loving, submissive, responsive to commands, admiring of an alpha pack leader. in short, dogs allow men to feel like alpha kings. this is why a man with a well-behaved dog is likely a man with a well-behaved woman.

    Like


  82. E.g., you never argue with a dog. You tell your dog how it’s going to be. If the dog pouts, you leave it alone in the corner – until the dog is willing to re-engage you are a civilized being.

    Yet when women pout, men run towards them. “What’s wrong? What did I say? What did I do?” We all know how well that works.

    When your dog or woman throws a fit, you leave the dog or woman to sit by itself. Women, like dogs, are social animals. They will redeem themselves, so that they may re-join the pack.

    Of course, if your dog is legitimately ill or injured, you provide aid and comfort. If your woman is sick (real illness; not the, “Come home from work early, I’m feeling needy” non-sickness), you nurture her back to health.

    Like


  83. Very true and very funny. Good post.

    Like


  84. on September 23, 2009 at 4:24 pm Epoxytocin No. 87

    In fact, though they will never admit it, women want to be owned by their men.

    Never, hmm?

    For women, there’s no better truth elixir than the throes of imminent orgasm.

    Like


  85. I don’t see how people can get past that rank dog odour. Dog owners deny it, but all dogs, no matter how frequently bathed, have a nasty smell embedded in their fur and drool. I can walk into somebody’s house and know right away if they own dogs (assuming the dog/dogs are out of sight of course). My sense of smell is unusually sharp though. Maybe normal people can’t detect it? Ugh.

    Like


  86. LOL!

    Like


  87. this is turning into the funniest comment thread ever on this blog. so much better than tjf or DA trolling.

    Like


  88. In fact, though they will never admit it, women want to be owned by their men.

    Yes, I would never, ever admit that.

    SRSLY.

    Like


  89. Haha, oh hey Epoxy.

    Like


  90. BEST POST EVER. The most succinct observation of the freaking year.

    Who do I contact to nominate this for a Nobel prize, hmmm under what category, sexonometrics?

    Like


  91. Hmm, for the record: I like dogs, and cats, and horses. And fish. And octopods.

    I’d say, judging from a lot of these posts, most of you have never, ever owned a dog. You should try it some time. It’s like having a child. SRSLY.

    Oh, and yeah, agree with km & Bonnie: “Do any straight people own Afghans?”

    No.

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  92. “E.g., you never argue with a dog.”

    You never argue with a cat, either. They try to freeze you out? Ignore them in kind, and soon they’re begging for attention. They won’t eat what they’re given? Let them go hungry until they eat what you tell them to. Don’t respond to basic commands? Keep them hungry, and make them work for their food until they learn the rules of the house.

    Of course, most cat owners I know do the opposite. Their cats, unlike mine, have attitudes, are picky with their food, destroy their furniture, and wake them up at every morning at 3am demanding food.

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  93. “but assuming this is a real phenomenon, i’d say it all gets back to how much alpha male attention is missing from their lives. hot chicks usually have all the real alpha male attention they want, so cats are superfluous. for them, big dogs may represent a chance to exert some power over something large and dangerous in their lives, because they don’t have any beta boyfriends to push around.”

    Interesting and plausible.In fact,the more I match that analysis to the women I was thinking of,the more it makes sense.Merci beaucoup Monsieur CH.

    Like


  94. In my view dogs are more noble and loyal than people in general and naturally incapable of deception, which makes them the opposite of even the most “owned” and supposedly loyal woman. I think this comparison is very insulting to dogs and I also think any man who has a dog so that he can feel “in charge” is probably a tool. Dogs = better than people and 10 x better friends than a woman can ever be,
    regards

    Like


  95. However, dogs and humans have more in common than many would think. We’re both highly social animals with refined social languages, signals, and rituals.

    Our males are high-t and constantly trying to gain dominace over each other, while the females are the sexual selectors (in wolves, this discrimination has mostly been bred out of dogs) and the true alphas of the pack. In my own pack of three, the frail 13-year-old, 20-lb white fluffy female is the leader or both the 9-year-old, 80-lb Shepherd (altered), and the 1-year-old, 35-lb Spaniel (unaltered).

    Bonnie gives the living proof of why you should insert sex in any conversation with women as early as possible. if not for opening her legs, at least to avoid listening to their prolix/boring/redundant talk

    Like


  96. olorus:

    Dogs are only ‘loyal’ out of desperation. Ask anyone with a ‘bad’ dog who had a person with palpable calm-assertive energy come into their house and suddenly, their dog is glued to this guy they’ve known for 5 minutes, and doesn’t even look at them anymore (for endless examples of this, watch the Dog Whisperer).

    When a dog goes into a new home with proper human leadership and training, it’s effortless – they adjust happily, within hours.

    Dogs are a thousand times more ‘fickle’ than women, because they have simple emotions barely above those of a lizard, and limited abiliy to reason. Given a choice they would never stay with someone who uses violent displays to try to ‘dominate’ them, no matter how much kibble they got. They would rather go hungry with a confident, natural leader. The same can’t be said of people.

    Like


  97. Here is a suggestion: you should really do some research on BREAST TO WAIST RATIO. I think a lot of guys like me enjoy boobs and so models and ballet dancers don’t really appeal that much. Ali Larter was a very sexy girl but small boobs. I am pretty sure there is an ideal range that men really prefer with waist-boob ratio.

    Like


  98. question for the forum. you are face to face with bonnie and she just started her BS about dogs and humans. Which sexualized answer would you give to stop the verbal torture?

    Like


  99. my answer:

    bonnie: bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla

    gig: you sicko. I came to avenge the old shepherd*

    * supposing “altered” means “neutered”

    Like


  100. gig,

    I have an amazing ability to steamroll right over any flirtateous comment or sexual remark with a boner-killing barrage of personal opinions/vaugely scientific conjecture. Your best wouldn’t be good enough.

    Like


  101. Lilslut:

    “It’s like having a child. SRSLY.”
    —only a whiny woman would compare a dog to a child.

    A dog is a dog. Meat is delicious.

    Go back to attention-whore trolling, skank.

    Liked by 1 person


  102. When a girl gets out of line does this mean it’s OK to roll up a newspaper and smack her on the nose?

    Or is a bare handed smack to the ass better?

    Like


  103. lurker, haven’t you ever had roasted human infant? The most tender flesh in the world.. marbled with baby fat. Dog meat is stringy and get stuck in your teeth.

    DT,

    Only idiots train dogs like that any more. They are not smart enough to connect a beating with bad they did in the past. Rolling up a newspaper and hitting them after the fact will make them more likely to cringe when you’re near, but no less likely to chew your shoes/piss on your floor.

    Like


  104. Aphgan Hounds really are stupid; it is not just an act. Feel their craniums and then feel the cranium of of a smart working breed. There is a big difference in brain volumn in relationship to body mass.
    Aphgans have never been anything but ornaments, going back centuries. They have been bred for exotic looks for so long and with so little concern for anything else they are basically hopeless nowadays.

    Like


  105. “In fact, though they will never admit it, […]”

    Y’all just want them to not admit that they want to be led and you all wish they wanted to be led. Then you can feel all manly and special when you break the barriers down. This is like a video game for dudes. If it’s too easy, you won’t play.

    My chick faculties are awry, so I admit to whatever it is I want. I think it would be sexier if I could do the shit-test charade. But then I do have that feminism schtick. hmm.

    Like


  106. Fictional Beta of the Month.
    _______________________
    Job Became Completely Humiliating So Gradually Area Man Barely Noticed

    http://www.theonion.com/content/news/job_became_completely_humiliating?utm_source=b-section

    SEPTEMBER 19, 2009 | ISSUE 45•38

    CHICAGO—Local resident Stephen Durkee’s job at D&L Media Solutions has become utterly dehumanizing in such small increments that he almost didn’t even notice, the 32-year-old office manager told reporters Monday. Durkee, who has worked at D&L since 2002, said that dozens of minor policy changes, coupled with his easily cowed personality, have gradually served to make each work day an unbroken series of degrading humiliations.

    “Now that I think about it, a lot of little things have sort of slowly added up, like when they reduced my lunch hour to 30 minutes last October,” Durkee said while walking CFO Janice Dugan’s poorly behaved English bulldog, Twombly, a task that cannot be found in Durkee’s extensive job description. “In and of itself, I suppose that isn’t really that terrible. Until you consider the five different job-title changes I’ve endured over the past two years and the fact that I had to buy my own computer for work.”

    “I guess it would be weird to complain about that stuff now, though,” continued Durkee, tying up a plastic bag and slowly getting back up to his feet. “What are you gonna do?”. In addition to the single small raise he’s received and the loss of various benefits that have almost imperceptibly contributed to his professional impotence, Durkee’s good nature and work ethic have made him subject to domination by both his superiors and peers. By his estimate, Durkee has been guilted or bullied into taking on 34 extra responsibilities on top of his regular duties.

    “I don’t actually remember how I got roped into handling the junior executives’ expense reports,” Durkee said. “It’s another one of those things. Like how I have to pick up all of the mail in the lobby now instead of everyone just getting their own.”

    Like


  107. From Cesar’s Way

    Discipline before affection.
    Calm Assertive as stated above.

    This works for running large groups of people and children too.

    Like


  108. @ lurker

    Stop responding to me, it’s ruining your rep!!

    Like


  109. This post is so true. I think the characteristics to properly train and lead a dog are transferable to dealing with women. However, like anything else, it needs to be a conscious process.

    Case in point. I have a buddy, ex-marine, pretty hardcore in a lot of other areas (hand-to-hand, weapons ongoing training, etc.) He has a Belgian Malinois, who are used by the marines and increasingly by military & police forces for guarding & protection. He’s trained the shit out of that dog in attack & protection training. Quite frankly, the dog is a hair trigger. But the main point is that to sufficiently train the dog to the very advanced level he’s at, he always is on top of the dog’s behavior.

    However, he’s attracted to ball busting bitches who like his rough exterior. Invariably, he’ll do one thing (or fail to do) that is less than alpha. Then, magically, trouble starts. Shocker.

    Good thing to remember.

    Like


  110. My sense of smell is unusually sharp though.

    More evidence towards his point.

    Like


  111. Rum, you’re totally wrong. What we know as the ‘Afghan Hound’ is a British-American breed developed in the 1920s. The several breeds of middle-eastern longhaired sighthound which it was derived from are still widely used for hunting today in that part of the world. It’s ancestors were never intended to be more than manageably workable by people, and it’s narrow skull is the same size proportionately as a Rough Collie, which is one of the more workable breeds (#16 on the list).

    Like


  112. many of my paired up yet childless friends have dogs, one couple has 3! They all readily admit they are practicing for when they have children.

    One couple that broke up has a shared custody arrangement for their furry friend.

    Like


  113. The other thing to remember is that a smart dog will always shit test you in little ways also, just like broads.

    Example, my rescued lab is a great, kind sweet, wonderful goofy dog. However, when he’s off leash at the park & I tell him to come, he’ll occasionally wander my direction and then drift off to sniff something else.

    There’s only one response to that. I go over, grab him by the jowel & neck area & put him on the ground & make him stay there for a minute or 2. He knows. And when I release him (verbally), he’s happy as hell because I reinforced his place in the pack.

    And he listens even better.

    Like


  114. Bonnie Dogs are like men, because they lick the alpha’s ass.

    [editor: women also lick the alpha’s ass. that is why dogs are substitutes for the role of submissive women — they give their male owners the feeling of being an alpha getting his ass licked by his admirer.]

    *dead faint*
    *shakes bonnie’s hand*

    Welcome to château R. you and I will get on swell. Let me introduce you to your sisters for the fight of womanhood. There is a war on the horizon we need all the strong women we can round up.

    Here is al ,kym,mandyxd marcus A,anoy,anon etc….

    Seriously, men have more in common with dogs. Women are more like cats. Just think about guys.

    @lilgrl- lurker 👿 can’t stop himself. It’s best to skip his comment when you see his handle unless you’re in the mood(+PMS) for a bit of arguing.

    Like


  115. “then they wouldn’t be smart enough to connect a reward with the good they did in the past, mm?”

    Correct. There’s about a 10-15 second window to effectively reward/punish if you want to create a mental connection.

    Yelling at your dog when you come home because he spread the contents of your garbage can around your house 4 hours previously is retarded on your part. That’s why he keeps on doing it, even though he starts cringing when you come in the door. He’s not ‘guilty’, he just knows you randomly scream at him when you come home.

    Like


  116. “As long as we’re making generalizations. Women with bigger dogs seem to be better gf material than chicks with small dogs. just saying.”

    Interesting. I’ve noticed a similar correlation between women with larger breasts versus women with smaller breasts.

    Like


  117. Bonnie to gig
    ,

    I have an amazing ability to steamroll right over any flirtateous comment or sexual remark with a boner-killing barrage of personal opinions/vaugely scientific conjecture. Your best wouldn’t be good enough.

    Yow!!!

    *chic looks to her fellow feminist and womanists*

    I think we picked a good one here. She will stand strong in our war. I see her fighting front line.

    Like


  118. chic, you flatter me.

    Like


  119. I once had a girlfriend whose dog used to sit by the foot of the bed and watch us fuck. Whenever the girl was having an orgasm, the dog would start barking. Afterward the dog would jump up on the bed and immediately try to lick my pusssy-juice drenched hard cock. The girl would laugh and say, “Stop that.” I never let the dog go that far, but I could tell the girl was a little intrigued by the thought.

    And it is true that women love to be pounded from behind by a strong man. It seems very primal to them and they love that.

    Like


  120. It’s funny to see the commenters here – most of whom are totally dog-ignorant – trying to rescramble their brains to agree with him on this point.

    ‘Oh, yeah – of course dogs are just like chix! Totally, spot on, forget how three threads ago I was saying that big dogs are the epitome of manliness and cats were girly in personality and form!’

    Dogs are like men, because they lick the alpha’s ass.

    Like


  121. LILGRL

    Hmm, for the record: I like dogs, and cats, and horses. And fish. And octopods.

    That’s the asians
    primal
    diet

    Like


  122. @ Firepower

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

    I like you.

    Like


  123. Bonnie…I once had one of my hunting dogs bust out of his kennel and kill several of my chickens when I was not at home.

    In fact, I didn’t even discover the dead chickens until the next morning.

    I beat the dog with the dead chickens. I shoved his face in the guts of one of the chickens he eviscerated and beat him with a stick.

    Other than this one instance, I don’t ever hit my dogs. Ever.

    I can now let the dog out when the chickens are out, and he doesn’t try to kill them anymore. In fact, he ignores them completely.

    Seems to me he learned that lesson, well after the fact.

    Like


  124. I’m surprised no one mentioned the Cane Corso as an alpha dog. I’m guessing they’re not common enough to be readily known.

    Like


  125. What does this prove? Did he ever kill chickens when you were there before?

    Like


  126. :-Bonnie:

    “And the reason you maintain this site is because all the women you supposedly have fawning over you in the real world aren’t enough. You crave the tender, prolonged lickings of the men who aspire to be like you.”

    Ugh. That’s quite the disturbing mental image.

    Like


  127. I think it proves that dogs certainly can learn from punishment…even if it occurs well after they did something wrong.

    Than again, my dogs are highly intelligent hounds. I’m positive he figured out that killing my chickens was connected with the one beating I ever gave him. He’s never killed a chicken since.

    Like


  128. Ultimate bad-ass breed: Neopolitan Mastiff. Jaws like a bear, so vicious you can’t even keep them in opposite sex pairs. Those Italians make some good guard dogs.

    Like


  129. but what about love and caring?

    Like


  130. I completely agree that if you’re beta with your dog you’ll be beta with your woman.

    However the converse is not true. You can be and many guys are easy assured alphas with even very difficult dog breeds, but not alpha with women. However it probably is highly unusual to be a “dog whisperer” that can quickly turn around an badly unruly dog used to terrible human training, and be truly beta with women.

    There is some overlap between absurdist PC training of men into the dog sphere, but it’s weak. It’s full bore on white guys with Asians assimilating, and even comes from the conservative side side via chivalry, and moral and other pedestaling, with no longer the assumed and assured areas of male social role leadership.

    Still, being alpha with a large or aggressive dog is a place to start. German shepherds are a good one. The dog we settled on in my family growing up.

    Like


  131. We’ll have to agree to disagree on this one, Dave. All the hard science (peer-reviewed, controlled studies) on dogs and wolves says punishing or rewarding a canine after the fact is useless.

    But there is huge variation in individuals, canine as well as human, and I doubt any of those studies assessed the capabilities of dog brains to apply a punishment when applied to orevious serial killing of prey animals belonging to his alpha. So..

    Like


  132. Ahem. That should read ‘to process a punishment when applied to previous serial killing of prey animals belonging to his alpha.”

    Like


  133. Research says:

    ignore bad behavior
    reward good behavior

    that’s the best way to train animals according to many trainers.

    This works for both men and women in relationships.

    Like


  134. Speaking of sniffing butts, when are you going to do a blog on sents…..it’s intriguing to me that we can pick out the right partner by their sent. I can vouch for this. I’m never with a man if I don’t enjoy the way he smells.

    Nothing like the smell of a man…yum!

    Like


  135. More like:

    Don’t reward bad behavior (with attention, or with submission to their demands)
    Do reward good behavior

    And yes, it does work with all animals, humans included.

    Based on this, I predict that men that submit to shit tests, playfully or not, will increase their incidence.

    Like


  136. Ignoring bad behavior can be dangerous. The punishment should fit the crime. For some misdemeanors, an icy silence or withdrawing your attention for a time is enough.

    Like


  137. @ Mike

    Have you also noticed that women are unable to control even medium-sized dogs?

    Yeah, I’ve not known this to be true. Perhaps you just know more women with tiny dogs? To be honest, I don’t know any women with dogs > 60lbs (if they have dogs), so yeah.

    My dog is big, but also a big pushover (yellow lab), so that doesn’t really count.

    Like


  138. Sorry, that should’ve been < 60

    Like


  139. …I just realized that might be confusing, so it should read: I don’t know any women with dogs less than sixty pounds.

    Like


  140. Doug,

    Dogs are indeed much like children. Not because you nurture and cuddle them (I don’t do much of that to mine), but because they are dependants who you must train to fit into your home and society. You can choose to treat either like helpless infants, or you can train them to reach their full potential.

    Parenting styles: Authoritarian, authoratative, permissive.

    Dog training styles: Physical/’dominance’-based (old school), calm-assertive, rewards-only (new school, can lead to disaster).

    The middle ground for both has been proven most effective in getting the damn dog/kids to do what you want them to, by all the real research, so far. Additionally it tends to lead to a more positive (you could say loving/tolerant) relationship on both sides. You do not need to ‘dominate’ dogs or children to be an effective authority figure. But you do need to disipline them effectively. If more mothers understood this and tried to apply it, we’d have fewer problems in general in our society. Permissive parenting is a scourge. Authoritarian parenting has better results, but does not facilitate happiness or understand, and can backfire mightily (when applied to ‘teenagers’, who in the American system are forced by law to act as children after physical maturity at 13-15).

    Future moms: it might be useful for you to get a dog and learn how to make it understand what you want it to do.

    Like


  141. on September 23, 2009 at 8:07 pm Victoria Stillwell

    Bonnie’s face should be rubbed in dog shit. That’ll learn her.

    Like


  142. LOL Victoria. You have no idea what you’re doing and your show sucks!

    Like


  143. Cats are fun (and funny to watch). They certainly can be affectionate, they will often come running to their favorite people to beg for petting or to lick people. They are social animals. I’m severely allergic to them however so watch from a distance. Some women like them because they are small and don’t require much work to train in the basics. I’ve seen some in my neighborhood though walk on a leash or free, behind dogs.

    I knew a gal, pretty good in Escrima, who had the typical chic car — Volkswagen Jetta convertible. Only with three, well trained Rotties in the back seat. They would follow her anywhere like she was Cesar Milan. Generally few women train their dogs well, but those that do often do so at a higher level than most men.

    Most Aristo dogs are lapdogs for ladies, King Charles Spaniels, pugs, etc. I don’t care for them. Warren Harding had an Airedale, Laddie, who even had his own seat at the Cabinet. Other aristo types have mostly owned hunting dogs: Weimeramers, Vislas, Retrievers, Labs, etc. The larger working dog terriers: Airedales, Irish, Welsh, Kerry Blue are probably the hardest but most rewarding to train. They are intelligent, high energy, terrier-stubborn, easily bored, feisty, and very, very cute. [Draw your own parallels gents.] They all look like teddy bears come to life, know it, and will do “cute” things to get their way. Because they are incredibly cute if hand-stripped in show trim (you need to do this yourself) in any public place women cannot resist them.

    There is a huge downside to dogs, however: their short lifespans. The smaller ones live longer. You will love them (it’s only human to do so) and their inevitable deaths will hit you hard. Harder than the hardest break-up with any girl.

    Like


  144. Whiskey
    *throws arms around whiskey*

    Your back my love.

    We were worried about you 🙂

    Like


  145. LILGRL

    @ Firepower

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

    I like you.

    I know…
    but I’m
    taken

    Like


  146. @ Bonnie

    Girl, we are mostly chill (even if you’re taking this thread a bit too seriously — Y SO SRS?), but

    Whiskey, I don’t get very sad when my pets die.

    😦

    Stop it.

    Like


  147. **Generally few women train their dogs well, but those that do often do so at a higher level than most men.**

    true enough. Girls tend to get pets for the wrong reason and don’t know how to socialize them. But that’s not a big insight. If their dog is a mess, then chances are…

    If you get a good cat, you get a good mix of social skills and self-sufficiency. Even smart dogs are basically one inch away from walking off a cliff, eating poison, and need to be washed groomed fed and generally looked after like a coma patient.

    Like


  148. @ Bonnie
    Unfortunately it sounds like you’ve never had a dog. Dogs will respond to assertive calmness even from strangers, however, their loyalty will not go to the stranger, no matter what you see on the edited “Dog Whisperer.” And even on that show you see the dog run to its original owners very happily when they return from camp. There are reports of dogs traveling very large distances looking for their masters. Dogs also have sympathetic reactions, if your leg hurts, their leg starts to “hurt” too. You’re a woman so your heart is cold as ice and have no clue about dogs.

    In regards to everything else, this post is an insult to dogs who are much superior to women.

    But the post is correct because it finally admits implicitly that “alpha male” is a man who has a power over other men, not over women. If you let women decide who’s “alpha” you’ve already given them your balls.

    Like


  149. bee in her bonnie:
    Only idiots train dogs like that any more. They are not smart enough to connect a beating with bad they did in the past.

    then they wouldn’t be smart enough to connect a reward with the good they did in the past, mm?

    lilgirl:
    Stop responding to me, it’s ruining your rep!!

    you do realize no one can win that game.

    Like


  150. olorus, I have three dogs currently and have had at least one dog for the last 12 years, since I was 11 years old. Additionally I am a 90-lb dog nerd and have read all the science there is about canines and their training.

    I never said dogs do not form bonds with humans. I just said that those bonds are forged quickly, easily and will be strongest with the most assertive person in the room, few exceptions. Sure a loose dog will travel miles to get back to it’s pack.. unless they meet someone better on the way (most lost dogs don’t get back to their owners through their own means, or choice).

    I don’t even know what to say about a dog’s leg hurting what your does. WTF are you smoking?

    It is true I’m not a sentimental crybaby. Unlike you, I hate chick flicks and am not interested in lying to myself about the intentions of other mammals.

    Like


  151. LIL, I’m always serious. It’s very tiresome for other people.

    I might be pushing it with you but I don’t get too sad when people I care about die, either. I’m just not very emotional, and death isn’t scary for me. Everyone has a beginning and an end.. when someone’s gone, I won’t forget them, but I move on quickly.

    Like


  152. Bonnie is like a woman: all relationships are temporary and for crass gain only. This is why she thinks dogs and everything else is the same; but she can’t understand dogs or horses.

    These animals are not capable of deception, BOnnie, like your kind! Women’s only weapon is deception, you literally can’t understand most animals…

    Like


  153. Tucker Max likened seducing a woman to owning and training a dog on his forums a few years ago.

    Humorously — or seriously — he suggested to his male readership to read the works of ‘Cesar Milan’ [“The Dog Whisperer”] to reorient ones own self on how to best deal with and enjoy the company of women.

    This seems to be a pretty potent meme amongst PUGs.

    I think I even vaguely remember David DeAngelo making a comment similar to this in an article, once…

    Like


  154. @ Bonnie

    Eh…I’m never serious, and I’m sure that gets tiring as well.

    However, what I meant was…you’re all up on the spectrum, girlfriend!

    Half of these people are being cheeky, and the other half are trolling. One or two are making constructive comments (hint: I’m not one of them), a few are chillin’, and the rest are, like yourself, taking it way too SRSLY.

    SRSLY!!!!!!!11one1

    Like


  155. Actually, my relationships only tend to end when the other party dies. Not my fault that it happens so often.

    Like


  156. Bonnie,

    I might be pushing it with you but I don’t get too sad when people I care about die, either.

    Okay, that is pushing it, a little. Either your autistic, or I don’t believe you. Not sure which, yet.

    I can understand the not-getting-too-upset-when-people-die thing. Really. I can. But people I care about? Um…isn’t that the point? Of caring?

    I, too, do not get upset when people in my life (note: not people I care about) leave (this city, this country, this planet, this existence). But the people I care about are everything to me.

    Of course, there are only about seven people in the world that are really important to me.

    Anyway, if you’re not getting upset when people you care about die, you don’t care. Which is fine. But, call it what it is.

    Like


  157. LIL, I consider myself a troll. I’m just a SERIOUS troll.

    Dude, we need to get you a handbook on Trolling 101 ASAP.

    Like


  158. several our ago I said, after Bonnie made her first comment about dogs, that the alpha thing to do was to sexualize the conversation as early as possible if not to bang her( she is miles and miles away), at least to stop her from talking.

    the beta crowd out there failed my test and she kept on and on, no-stop, a SWPL Fidel Castro who substitutes the proletarian revolution for dogs

    Like


  159. people may wonder when to sexualize the conversation. just keep track of she is saying. once she crosses the rubicon of acceptable female bullshitting, sexualize it. or else she, ifyou are meeting face to face, will put you in LJBF status

    bonnie’s first comment was a textbook example of why women shouldn’t be let free to talk as theywish

    Like


  160. no bonnie, you are not a troll. you are female

    Like


  161. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1215603/Jealous-HSBC-banker-strangled-unfaithful-wife-affair-sons-tennis-coach.html

    A millionaire banker strangled his wife after he spied on her and learnt she had been having affairs with two men, a court heard yesterday.

    Neil Ellerbeck, 46, became enraged when his wife Kate, 45, asked for a divorce to move in with their teenage son’s tennis coach, it is alleged.

    Fearing the loss of his two children, home, and fortune, he killed her – then picked up his tenyearold daughter from school as if nothing had happened, a jury heard.

    Ellerbeck, chief investment manager for HSBC, learned of his fitness fanatic wife’s deception by secretly taping 127 hours of her calls – including intimate chats with tennis coach Patrick McAdam.

    The day before her death, Mr McAdam saw Mrs Ellerbeck at the tennis club, and said she wasn’t her usual ‘chirpy and bubbly’ self when he suggested they spend time together. ‘She replied that it was too dangerous at that moment,’ Mr Brown said.

    The next day, both Mr and Mrs Ellerbeck took the day off, to drop their daughter at school at 9.15am to sit an exam. By 12.09pm her husband made a 999 call – and paramedics-found that Mrs Ellerbeck was dead.

    In a police interview, Ellerbeck said his wife became ‘very, very violent’ when they got home.

    ‘They were upstairs, when Kate said, “Haven’t you got the hint yet? Why are you still here when you can leave?”,’ Mr Brown said.

    ‘The defendant told his wife that he was not going anywhere, to which Kate retorted, “Maybe I’m just going to divorce you”.’

    A fight broke out, Mr Brown said, adding of the defendant: ‘In his own words he was “getting angry” and he claimed that he pushed with the heel of his hand quite hard up to her face, although he later said it was to her neck.’

    Like


  162. Bonnie

    What does this prove? Did he ever kill chickens when you were there before?

    Don’t be obtuse.

    Dave from Hawaii’s story indicates a whole lot. Absolutely scientifically proves? No. But it’s VERY indicative. Much more so than most anecdotal evidence because 1) it’s a dog and 2) it was such a strong effect. Absent that lesson, we could have expected the gratification from letting loose on atavistic dog instincts and getting immediately rewarded with fresh killed raw meat dog deliciousness to have lead that dog to kill chickens around the place virtually every time Dave wasn’t looking.

    If you know 1) know anything about dogs (which you surely say you do) and 2) aren’t been super stubborn and/or aren’t in denial about the disproving of your theory.

    Like


  163. Bonnie intoned:

    LIL, I’m always serious. It’s very tiresome for other people.

    I might be pushing it with you but I don’t get too sad when people I care about die, either. I’m just not very emotional, and death isn’t scary for me.

    dude
    that is so totally Alpha
    you must score more pussy
    than Obsidian

    Like


  164. LIL, I am not on the autistic spectrum, but I am an odd person.

    I’m not saying I don’t cry at the funeral. But I don’t grieve the way a lot of people seem to. I’m a natural lone wolf, I just happened to find a mate. Like I said, I would be devastated if I lost BF, and I’ve never had a loss of that degree. He is the only person I have ever felt I both can, and do, depend on (parents did not fulfill that capability for me within memory), maybe that is why. I do not need emotional support from other people, and don’t have friends that I lean on, although they do lean on me. I love helping people with their problems, prefer to deal with my own on my own.

    This past summer, BF’s dad, who I only knew for 5 years but loved very much and who I very much wanted to meet our future children, died very suddenly. Also, a beautiful, brilliant, and mentally ill friend who I’ve known and cared for since we were babies around 2001, committed a spur-of-the-moment suicide that I know she would not have chosen for herself if she had been in her right mind.
    I can’t say I was or am very upset by either. Sad, yes, but their deaths did not fuck up my life or my emotions in any way I can discern.

    Like


  165. LILGRL–

    Just when I wonder did “dude” start being widely applied to girls?

    I’d like to reverse that horrendous folk pathways development forthwith.

    You of all people LILGRL. For shame!

    Like


  166. “But it’s VERY indicative.”

    Okay, I’m convinced!!

    Read my reply at 7:46.

    Like


  167. Bonnie–

    Or I am just a cold bitch?*

    ***

    *okay, I know the answer to this one

    Well, yes, in fact. Narcissistic (beyond the female norm) and/or somewhat psychopathic. Yes. If you never get seriously hurt when a favorite pet you’ve had for some time dies.

    It does make me question how good a mother you’d make. You might do fine do to forebrain guidance so long as the going didn’t get too rough. But if it did? If real life choices had to be made (well the do have to all the time).

    That is revealing. It simply is.

    Mothering instinct is not something you’re over burdened by.

    Like


  168. LILGRL

    My dog is big (yellow lab)

    You must be
    the most popular guest
    for Vietnamese
    Thanksgiving

    Q: What do you call a nammer with 2 dogs
    A: a rancher

    Like


  169. Bonnie

    You say you read a lot about canine psychology then you say something very wrong about bonding.
    The essence of a modern pet dog is that it is a wild canine selectively bred to retain juvenile qualities for life.
    Root stock canines like wolves and coyotes will form bonds with people but only while they are infants/adolescents. Fully adult and differentiated they do not bond with strangers. Neither do they bark for no reason or goof around a lot.
    I spent time in Alaska around Malamutes. They are closest to wolves of any (sort of( domesticated breed. They howl in ways that even an expert cannot tell from the real thing. They absolutely do not bond with new people after puppy-dom.
    The larger ones have a way of staring at you with ice-cold, pale blue eyes that reminds our human hind-brain of things about “the wild”we would rather forget.

    Like


  170. Hey Gig were you the one posting photos of yourself over on /b/ with the beer bottle in your asshole?

    Your penis is really tiny

    Like


  171. In other words, the breed of dog is the real factor in the degree of bondableness. The more like a real natural canine, the less the late life bonding.

    Like


  172. Bonnie

    All the hard science (peer-reviewed, controlled studies) on dogs and wolves says punishing or rewarding a canine after the fact is useless.

    Usually it is useless. Because “dogs can’t figure out what the hell you’re so upset about”.

    Dave f Hawaii held the dog’s nose to the fresh kill that dog had not that long ago killed. That bridged the language and abstractions gap. That made if vivid for the dog.

    So to the bit about never beating a dog. The answer is almost never and never too much. Instead the warning and demo that it really COULD be a lot worse. But won’t have to be.

    Like


  173. how fitting is it that dana writes a comment on a post about bitches.

    Like


  174. When your dog or woman throws a fit, you leave the dog or woman to sit by itself. Women, like dogs, are social animals. They will redeem themselves, so that they may re-join the pack.

    Seconded.

    And same goes for pouting.

    Even crying. Yesterday my girl was quietly sobbing, and I told her she could tell me about it if she wanted, and otherwise didn’t pay much attention to it. A while later it came it was some drama with her mom. Not my business to fix her up, and be ridden by her emotions. I just let her lay on top of me while happily playing with my compute and watching TV and copping a feel of her ass.

    Pouting is met with indifference, bitchiness with a slap down, and crying with silent support.

    Like


  175. chic it would be more apropos if it was a post about cunts

    Like


  176. Doug1 chastised:

    You of all people LILGRL. For shame!

    That dog
    won’t hunt

    Like


  177. aoefe–

    expand
    your pool

    Like


  178. Firepower,

    And Italian lapdogs.

    Like


  179. @doug? – expand you pool

    Huh? Blond momento…

    But no seriously need a man’s advice.

    Was introduced to a guy today, I didn’t realize until a few mintues in that it was a set up for me to meet this dude – happened at work.

    Man is 8 years older, attractive to me and is a police officer (dominant??), also farms which where I’m from can be quite lucrative.

    He gave me his number I didn’t give him mine. I did say it would be nice to get together and have coffee sometime which is when he gave me his number. I felt there was some attraction on both sides.

    Do I call him tonight? Or do I wait? My tempation is to text and give him my number and say ooops my bad forgot to give you mine….call me if you’re interested in meeting again.

    What say you experts, what would you like to see if you were a man??

    Like


  180. Crap ignore last line it should say if you were THIS man…I know you’re a man…. gawd.

    Like


  181. Mike

    Have you also noticed that women are unable to control even medium-sized dogs?

    Women lack the ability to be true alphas. An alpha is a leader of men and beasts. Women, even when ruling a man, do not do so through rising to the top of the pyramid; instead, they suck a man down to her level.

    Some women can. I would bet for example that nearly all dykes can if they want to. (Many/most might regard dogs as too much trouble; others might like for the image.) Women with a seriously dominant side can. Most female lawyers, certainly if they’re decent courtroom litigators and not just in the trenches good study bitches sorts of lawyers, can as one example.

    Most women don’t WANT to be that dominant. Doesn’t make them feel feminine on their personal side. Since this isn’t a politicized area (until the feministing types read here) and doesn’t earn them money of approval from feminists, career women don’t feel a need to prove themselves in this area generally.

    A widowed or divorced country woman with a tough gritty side to her might well want to keep owning dogs. In her case i wouldn’t read too much negative into it necessarily.

    Like


  182. Oh and as to the post (gotta keep on topic a lil bit), I don’t mind saying I love the idea of being owned by my man…no issue at all there.

    Like


  183. ganttsquarry

    Firepower,

    And Italian lapdogs.

    hmm. She does have small tits
    but I don’t think she’s azn

    Like


  184. Chic no worries about me being discovered I have VERY few Canadian readers. None in my province at all let alone any where near my small city. Cool that you were. I wouldn’t mind at all really. Course I like a little attention. 🙂

    Like


  185. i would literally like to jump up and down on your feeble dick wearing cleats

    Like


  186. Hi Anonymous! First time visitor. 😉

    Like


  187. Chic, I’m finding it a little weird that Doug or Dana would be trying to call someone else out on being a cold bitch.

    I mean…

    Anyway, I’ve been thinking about the dogs vs. cats thing. I have 11 cats, and they’re all well trained. One has a little alpha problem that he can’t poop where everybody else has pooped, but that’s about it. He even does it near the box if he can’t get outdoors. It’s just that his has to be special.

    I have a few cans of coins around the house. When they are doing something wrong, I shake the can, and they back it up and stop doing whatever it is they’re doing.

    The youngest two, I’m attempting to train to bathe themselves in water. They already know to come to me for their morning bath. They’ll tolerate it for about 2 minutes.

    Definitely, cats are more like men. To train them, you have to make them think that doing what they’re supposed to do was their idea.

    Like


  188. aoefe pleaded:

    Man … also farms which where I’m from can be quite lucrative.

    keep the convo bubbly
    limit it to pigs n’ taters

    Like


  189. Ghost of Nicole! 11 cats – why oh why would you make THAT confession?? You will now have the handle of Crazy Cat Lady to add to your collection.

    Like


  190. Firepower – bubbly I got down… don’t know much about pork bellies.

    Like


  191. if any of you actually hit your girlfriends or wives, put your head in the fucking oven and keep it there

    Like


  192. Anonymous have you thought of creating a more exciting handle? It’s really really hard to tell you apart from all the other anonymous people.

    Like


  193. aoefe

    What would the guy want to see? How about a 15 minute vid of you rolling around naked on a rubber sheet all covered in olive oil.
    It would be a great way to break the ice, so to speak.

    Like


  194. its getting hot
    in herre

    Like


  195. the fact that a woman is commenting on this right now in a non-outraged manner instead of carving this dude in half with a broken bottle is baffling

    Like


  196. aoefe-

    What i might LIKE to see if I was already determined I was hot to see you would be for you to just throw caution to the wind and call me.

    However what would WORK best on me probably is your text idea.

    No. Scratch that. Do leave the ball in his court. But in you text giving him your number, sound a little more eager to see him, rather than just giving it. Some slight hint of liking his confidence or air of manliness or something would be good. He saw you in a work context after all and you may make more than he does.

    Like


  197. No, anony has not thought of that or he/she would have done it already.
    Anony = not ready for adult company.

    Like


  198. bonfire of the buttplugs aka spungen:
    Sure, some women want to lick the alpha’s ass too.

    you misspelled most.

    So, the reason 90% of the regular male commenters on this site are droolingly submissive to you is because they percieve you as a super-alpha and it chubs them out.

    90%, droolingly submissive, and chubs them out are the telltale hyperboles of someone trying to make a point based on imaginary evidence.

    They’re much less interested in applying your advice to women in the real world than aching to be in your godly presence..

    you don’t see all the emails i get from men telling me my writings helped them land, fuck, and keep women. funny, though, the only emails i’ve received that could be construed as an aching to be in my godly presence are from women.
    not that i’m complaining or anything…

    too bad this site is as close as they can get…

    or maybe they’re just not the stalker type.

    And the reason you maintain this site is because all the women you supposedly have fawning over you in the real world aren’t enough.

    that’s not the reason. when i strum my guitar does that mean the women in my life aren’t enough?

    You crave the tender, prolonged lickings of the men who aspire to be like you.

    lickings, no. save your perversions for quiet time with your dog.

    Like


  199. the fact that a woman is commenting on this right now in a non-outraged manner instead of carving this dude in half with a broken bottle is baffling

    Right–because women should only behave according to your dictates, hmm?

    Like


  200. Thanks Rum great advice, wanna film it?

    Like


  201. Aoefe, I like being a Crazy Cat Lady. We even have a kind of CCL network around here. There are so many pubs and restaurants around that if one doesn’t have cats, they will have rats.

    Big cat sized aggressive gangsta rats.

    My alpha cat Pazuzu sometimes “adopts” one for about half an hour and then releases it to be killed and eaten by the others. It’s like he does the trash talk and torture, and his henchmen and biatches do the wetwork.

    Like


  202. on September 23, 2009 at 10:13 pm Names don't matter

    Prime content?

    This is like

    friday night stand up material at the local comedy club

    except there’s no actual humor

    just faggotry

    Like


  203. this isn’t even controversial it’s just regressive and dumb

    [editor: and yet you respond. too easy.]

    Like


  204. Too bad I can’t bring myself to say such controversial and untrue things as many of the posters here. Sadly I am left with saying moderate things that are fairly accurate, so no one gets excited over them.

    Should I continue? 😛

    Like


  205. this isn’t even controversial it’s just regressive and dumb

    And I bet those grapes were sour anyway.

    Like


  206. I am going to say one controversial thing…

    *drumroll*

    Most women are secretly bisexual and society just suppresses this through their upbringing. But if properly managed, they can be brought back to their FMF threesome glory.

    Hmm, still doesn’t have the same controversial ring.

    In a free market economy, wives should have less monthly income than hookers. After all, their marriage plan comes with benefits that hookers don’t have.

    Okay, that’s approaching the right level.

    Like


  207. laffin’ at all the pseudointellectual men up in here thinking it is real cool to be a misogynist keep it up guys

    Like


  208. aoefe

    If I filmed it, it would not be olive oil you were covered with.

    Like


  209. :-GONicole:

    Eleven cats? Jesus.

    Women with more than four cats talk about them in narrative terms. As in, they tell stories FROM THE CAT’S PERSPECTIVE in the third person.

    It’s fucking frightening.

    Baggage Rule-for every Six Cats, the woman has as much baggage as one kid.

    Like


  210. Whiskey, I don’t get very sad when my pets die. Dogs are just dogs, for chrissakes. They’re great fun but ultimately replaceable. They aren’t ‘children’ to me and I don’t mourn their loss. Wheras I would be beside myself if my boyfriend died, or even just left me. Is being queer about your dogs a man thing? Or I am just a cold bitch?*

    Tip: if you feed your dogs and cats entirely on raw animals they will live much longer. My seniors are frisky and problem-free while my friend’s dogs the same age or younger are dead or degenerating into blindess, drizzling urine on the carpet or being consumed by bowel cancer.

    So long suckas, I’m done working and off home to feed my carnivores raw, skinned rabbit heads (mm, brains).

    ch said: “90%, droolingly submissive, and chubs them out are the telltale hyperboles of someone trying to make a point based on imaginary evidence.”

    I never imagine my evidence unless I absolutely have to.
    I learned ‘chub them out’ from this site, btw, never heard it before! One more thing you have blessed me with.

    *okay, I know the answer to this one. 😉

    Like


  211. i’ll say one thing ….. at least for me … id o want the man i’m with to gain my respect .. or rather “train me to respect him ” as you say … although that’s a bit much …

    Like


  212. I suggest taking out a GOOGLE KEYWORD account soon where you specify your own keywords. Namely: “alpha”, “money shot pills”, “BDSM” and “Romance Novels” (for the chicks). This will bring in the most revenue.

    Like


  213. Names don’t matter opined:

    This is like

    friday night stand up material at the local comedy club

    except there’s no actual humor

    just faggotry

    I hear ya. It’s just like
    The Daily Show

    Like


  214. How did you embed that video?

    Like


  215. Funny how the trolls always degenerate into caricatures–as though that will convince others the regulars are misogynists.

    Like


  216. ALPHA MALE CAGE MATCH IN A VIDEO

    WHO IS THE BIGGER ALPHA,

    A) Christian Bale
    B) Bill O’Reilly

    Vote below.

    Like


  217. did will wilkinson link here all of a sudden? perhaps a tweet from topper?

    Like


  218. Anony

    You are showing us your insecurities. That is rarely a pretty sight. Unless, of course, you are beautiful woman. Which I doubt.

    Like


  219. @nicole- Do your cats really let you bathe them?

    I tried that with one cat and it was hell every time. She scratched me with what looked like Wolverine claws.

    How many male cats do you have?

    Like


  220. anonymous- watch out for rum, he has pet snakes.

    Like


  221. Arrakis, I probably do have issues…especially since my cats are well trained. I don’t even make them stay indoors. They come and go as they please, but they understand that I’m the queen here. There is no jumping on my bed, scratching up of my furniture, or wandering into my kitchen.

    But this is what an old lady does for love and pest control. Just because the sex drive starts to wane or become more sane doesn’t mean the nurturing drive goes anywhere. I think it’s a kind of habit people get into, and one chooses the kinds of pets that they like as companions, just as one chooses the kind of friends they like to be around.

    I’ve never been a very controlling person of others, but I have clear boundaries about myself. I don’t like cats who need to be forced to stay in the house not to stray. I never liked friends or partners who had to be trapped not to stray.

    Like


  222. Chic, the trick is to start when they’re young, and make it as pleasant as possible with big rewards.

    Make the water lukewarm. Dip and splash gently but quickly (15 seconds) at first. Do it every day around the same time, and eventually they’ll let you do it a bit longer. Have a nice soft towel waiting to wrap them in after, and soft words. Stroke them like you’re a big mama cat cleaning them.

    If you’re starting with an older cat, you have to wet your hands and rub them a little more and more over time until you can spray them with the shower. It might never take. Start with kittens though, and they’ll hopefully get to the point of going into water voluntarily.

    Five of my cats are male. Of those, two including the alpha, are neutered. The younger males defer to him because he basically raised them. Others (the peripheral cats who eat on our porch, but aren’t really ours) defer to him because if not, he or one of the others will tear them apart.

    Like


  223. Why does Anon keep quoting Willard Libby posts?

    Like


  224. anonymous troll

    there is no convincing necessary it is obvious that anyone who likes this blog is a textbook misogynist

    If someone being deliberately unlikable, as you are being, is the best example you can give for female communication style, then damn straight i’m a misogynist.

    Anonymous, I hate you.

    You clearly want me to. And I oblige.

    Like


  225. The level of misogyny in this post is incredible. People are not dogs. Mature adults do not have to establish “dominant alpha male” behavior over each other. That’s something a frat group would do.

    Like


  226. Also the generalization of all women here is appalling.

    Like


  227. nicole and soft words. Stroke them like you’re a big mama cat cleaning them.
    Yea, I had to talk/sing to my cat when I tried to bathe her. the moment I stoped, she would become worked up again.

    @ruby- well at least this troll(s) isn’t repetative.

    Like


  228. Hey, I believe I pointed this out a month ago!

    Seriously, go read the website I mentioned. Dog training rules at game. I always wondered why the girls would bark at me. I just thought it was because I was hung like a mule.

    The articles at the bottom on training and maintaining alpha state in the mind of a dog:
    http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/searchcategories.htm

    Like


  229. olorus
    you wanna sausage party much?

    Like


  230. Ruby, in my case, I’m pretty sure that the “problem” is that I was one of those girls who was meant to be barefoot and pregnant with 10+ kids, but had her dreams derailed. There is a part of me that probably prevented me from finding someone with whom I could pick up where I left off when the first marriage tanked, because I did feel tainted in a way…cheated out of something I would never get back, but more because of my own stupidity than someone else’s.

    I did get one wonderful daughter out of it though. She’s not half as stupid as I was.

    So the question is then where to go from there? I tried the bohemian partner way, and that worked itself into a very intense platonic friendship. So at this point in my life, I’d rather be a cat lady than put myself out there to be an ugly girl instead of a dignified older lady.

    It attracted a boyfriend, but he’s 6 years younger than me, so I expect that to go platonic soon. My competition are much younger, very skilled, very well connected stealth hoes. Even as a financial prospect, I can’t compete with them. I’ve heard rumors already, but from people I trust.

    The good news though, is that cat lady is in some ways far more attractive to well intentioned men than cougar. There’s some consolation in being the second to last resort rather than the last resort.

    Like


  231. It is true that cats have an alpha aura to them. If you own a dog it will tolerate humiliation for approval. Not so cats.

    My cat has an orange file at the vet’s office (only specially trained assistants are allowed to handle him) because of the last time they tried to take his temperature anally. He got so angry that even I was cowering in the corner of the room.

    He’s even gotten me in trouble with the law for beating up female cats and their weird, spinster owners. This one female cat pissed him off so bad that when she was trying to get away he body-slammed her while she was trying to jump the fence and then ripped a few chunks of fur off her back. Watching her cartwheel through the air after getting knocked off the fence was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

    I’ve always had a special contempt for most dogs. I grew up with a couple German shepherds, and they were OK (one of them, to his credit, killed a poodle for chasing our cat), but for the most part dogs are to be reviled. Wolves, on the other hand, are noble animals. Let men never sink so low from our natural state as dogs have from wolves.

    Here in Seattle, dog owners are the most contemptible herbs of all, and they are extremely common. I enjoy early morning walks through the parks, and there is nothing that bothers me more than some foul dogs romping in the wetlands, scaring off the songbirds and shitting all over the place. There is a leash-law here, but the herbs ignore it, so I’ve taken to carrying an Irish blackthorn stick (AKA shillelagh) on my walks to ward them off when they get aggressive. It is satisfying to chastise the herbs for letting their dogs bother people — they always apologize abjectly as though they are dogs themselves, and then even their dogs grovel before me.

    There is nothing more disgusting than the middle-aged dog-lady. She always smells like rank dog, her canine companion often has his muzzle buried deep in her fleshy muff, and she is a fake blond three-quarters of the time. Dog love is perhaps one of the most annoying traits of Northern Europeans (of which I am one). No other people in the world have such a deep, incomprehensible love for dogs.

    Perhaps it truly is an expression of betatude.

    Like


  232. speak for yourself ruby. so far they are very entertaining.

    I see whelmer quoted thursday in that comment.

    Like


  233. Doug,

    Just when I wonder did “dude” start being widely applied to girls?

    I’d say sometime in my middle school years.

    I’d like to reverse that horrendous folk pathways development forthwith.

    You of all people LILGRL. For shame!

    Doug, I think you mistakenly see me as a girly-girl. When…um…I’m clearly not. Actually, I’m pretty much a teenage boy in heels.

    P.S. A correction: “Either your autistic, or I don’t believe you. Not sure which, yet.” Should obviously be “you’re” (I know, I was typing fast…but I’m still kicking myself.)

    Anyway, Bonnie, I can kind of see where you’re coming from. A little bit. Like I said, there are very few people in my world that matter enough to me that I’d be seriously upset by their disappearing from it. However, I wouldn’t say that I (legitimately) cared for someone unless this were the case. So, yeah. I don’t really get you.

    Like


  234. note how chick always responds like a yapping little chihuahua?

    women are dogs. some of them are ugly, unneutered stupid whores like chicy fuckface, and some are just stupid whores.

    Like


  235. on point: i’ve always been a dog lover and a ferocious cat hater. i sort of agree that cats, because they are aloof and not ususally submissive, give off a vibe which is similar to that of the prototypical alpha male. But otherwise, they’re cold, sneaky, and creepy. that’s neither masculine nor feminine. dogs may be dumber and more submissive, but they’re more open and share your emotions.

    Like


  236. @ Welmer

    Wolves, on the other hand, are noble animals. Let men never sink so low from our natural state as dogs have from wolves.

    An ex of mine had (not “owned”) three wolves on a farm in N. Carolina. Not easy animals to keep.

    Like


  237. To Chic Noir:

    Remember about a week ago when I was talking about how the export and import of Entropy across Systems stimulated growth within them?

    Remember how I stated that a blog’s lifeline [novel topics & stable patronage] was analogous to a dynamic System?

    Remember how you desired for ‘a bit-o-Entropy’ to reinvigorate Chateau?

    Well this post almost achieved it… Almost.

    He seems to be ramping up the ‘Prime Content’ once again. The paradigm-shifting, vitriol-inspiring, ultra-controversial content.

    It’s not at full power — But it is getting there. All the tell-tale signs reveal themselves:

    * More intense inter-patronage flame wars.

    * Increased overt troll frequency.

    * Many new patrons and more posts by old patrons.

    No need to worry, dear hostess. Chateau lives again.

    [Heh.]

    Like


  238. maurice

    on point: i’ve always been a dog lover and a ferocious cat hater. i sort of agree that cats, because they are aloof and not ususally submissive, give off a vibe which is similar to that of the prototypical alpha male. But otherwise, they’re cold, sneaky, and creepy.

    Only if if they don’t know you. My cats have always been pretty warm and affectionate. They even bring me their kills from time to time, and I give them cat snacks as rewards for keeping the house clean. The only thing that bothers me about cats is that they really know how to be annoying when hungry. When they really cross a line you just toss them out the nearest window and they don’t hold it against you. Kipling wrote about the compact between cats and men. It’s not such a bad deal.

    LILGRL

    An ex of mine had (not “owned”) three wolves on a farm in N. Carolina. Not easy animals to keep.

    No, they aren’t. You have to literally beat them from time to time to keep them in line. A male wolf will continually challenge a man for alpha status, and those jaws can break bones.

    Like


  239. the girls + obsidian on this site are incredibly annoying, just go on for paragraphs and never let up the passive-aggressive crap, why do you humor “bonnie” the buchenwald carpetmuncher

    dogs are honest, cats are not btw …cats hide their poop…that’s the reason they’re considered feminine, because they’re sneaky. dogs are not sneaky and truthfulness = manly

    Like


  240. SERIOUSLY THOUGH

    I PREDICT THIS BLOG WILL SOON BE IN THE TOP 5 BLOGS IN THE WORLD IN # OF COMMENTS PER POST.

    The userbase wil just keep growing. Nice work!

    Like


  241. A couple years ago I was at Vancouver airport and saw an older couple with a HUGE grey wolf on a leash. At first I thought at first that it might be part wolf or a Timber Sheppard, but no, it was pure wolf. A large, beautiful, well socialized wolf on a secure leash. I spoke for a while with the couple until some airport functionary came by and told them no dogs were allowed.

    Like


  242. LILGRL

    Doug, I think you mistakenly see me as a girly-girl. When…um…I’m clearly not. Actually, I’m pretty much a teenage boy in heels.

    No. I get that.

    Result being, girly girl and tomboy (brainy nerd devision) both. I’ve liked that historically. As one of my several likes.

    Like


  243. i’ve just added “own a wolf” to my bucket list. i don’t recall hosting more than two activities at a time on such a list, as i exclude my weight training goals.

    the one prominent remainder is to have a girl “blow coke off my oak”, “hype sniff off my piff”, or “throw beak off my peak.” i don’t know why exactly, but it strikes me as very domineering. obviously, i’ve never hung with a coke crowd, or this item would be an easy check. if i’m ever seduced into marriage, i will make sure this happens at the ‘bachelor party.’

    for the record, i’ve historically preferred cats to dogs. nascent beta? although i might be completely making this up, it really seems that cats AND dogs are more friendly to me since i started applying game. that is: attitude, eye contact, economy of movement, etc., not the scent of pussy juice necessarily.

    regarding wolves: i heard somewhere that if you ever encountered an aggressive wolf in the wild, showing him your neck was a feral sign of submission, and he was more likely to leave you alone. is there truth to this?

    the new michigan football ‘strength and conditioning’ coach was said to have once owned two wolves while living in west virginia, on top of being a cage fighter and hobbling away from a car accident with a broken leg to hold practice on time. mike barwis, for those interested. though he is married (to another fitness maniac), it is not hard to reconcile his alpha status.

    Like


  244. In Response to Ghost of Nicole:

    Houellebecq explored that theme heavily in the novel, “Platform” — The universal tendency for women’s sexual desires to wane with age, but the desire to love and be loved only increasing.

    His conclusion, though, was that the modern world and our society’s “Cult of Youth” doomed all women… whether they have children or not… to broken hearts in advanced age.

    Children of recent generations have become more active parasite of their parents rather than loving progeny. This process concludes with the children leaving their parents a frail,withered husk in advanced ages, alone.

    Pets usually die before their owners; Magnifying heartbreak.

    Women who have concentrated on some other aspect of their life in lieu of fulfillment of their biological imperative feel possibly the worst of these conditions, surrounded by reminders of past hedonistic pursuits, unreliable friends or relatives and no close, intimate ties. [CH’s assessment of female lawyer’s futures, I presume.]

    This comment really isn’t in criticism of you — I just felt the need to link your previous comment with Houellebecq’s damning of our modern society,

    Like


  245. on September 24, 2009 at 12:59 am unlearning genius

    If you want to learn how to wield power over people practice wielding power over people … power over people is not as simple as that over a dog .. all this “alpha” talk is just chest beating by adolescent boys …. This shows that you are uncomfortable in a situation where the power balance is nearly 50/50 or against you… Anytime I feel that I have too much of a hand i choose to walk away because I take it as a hint that i am playing WAY below my level …

    The notion that women are generally less human and more hind-brain following is certainly too simplistic …
    typical case of pot kettle black … selecting women based on child bearability in subsaharan africa does not strike me as profound either …. It is very likely that in post agricultural human societies with reduced pest loads women with cognitive prowess would have had an evolutionary advantage .. thus their reduced “looks” plus the cognitive ability (mostly empathy related social intelligence) would have given them an advantage over dumb but more symmetrical looking sisters.

    Like


  246. anony

    Sometimes I type nonsense. But most of the time I have the excuse of being exhausted and/or a little wasted.
    The archives of the sphere exist. They are right here and easy to access. Many, many curious, interested people are readying from them. You should as well.
    This material will be on the Final Exam.

    Like


  247. You can take it as a rule that the level of affection felt towards an alpha predator increases with distance.
    People who live in Mr. Bears actual neighborhood general fear Mr. Bear and that turns to hate as sure as the sun rises.
    Wolves have a way of bringing down large prey that strikes the average human observer as profoundly wrong if not completely sinister. Wolves start by biting the genitals off and then waiting for the blood loss to bring the animal down – so they can close in to eat the contents of the gut cavity. With wolves, there is no easy way out.
    Sometime after that, the death-agony moans of the prey die down.
    Ranchers and what not who know wolves intimately are incapable of putting them on a pedestal
    When I was in Alaska, I spent about an hour alone in the woods with a pack of half breeds that had more or less convinced me that I was their next lunch. That got me past a point of clarity.
    I have subsequently shot dogs when necessary. There were no qualms. The spell for me regarding dogs was broken about 15 miles outside of Fairbanks.

    Like


  248. god it’s great to not have Obsidian here.

    Or willard libby. Or “mu’min loves fat bitches”.

    Like


  249. on September 24, 2009 at 1:42 am unlearning genius

    This whole objectivity of female attractiveness is such BULL! As my previous argument implies that men must be attracted somewhat to women who are not supermodels. Again since most of you guys here are more interested in seeming to be alpha both to yourself than to others, you will admit to banging nothing other 10s and occasionally on a bad day a 9. A 9 or a 10 is + 3 sigma and + 4 sigma respectively and would mean less than 2% of the female population!

    If you are CONSISTENTLY banging in this range EFFORTLESSLY you must consequently rank in the top 1% of the males yourself. If you also have total power over this girl you must be very impressive indeed. What is more likely is that you are deluding yourself about the true quality of your mate.

    Like


  250. Dogs are not humans. They are not children. They are (generally) loving companions. Anyone with emotions will cry and grieve when they die. Even though they are not human. They still love you, often very much, and show it. Cats too, though their ways are different.

    Some cats btw love water. There is a breed that will want to take a bath or shower with you.

    Like


  251. The simplicity, clarity and insight of this post ranks it among the best ever of the Chateau.

    It’s dead-on accurate. I like the corollary point about women and cats. Perfect.

    Like


  252. Dogs hate beta males. I was watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with my invisible friend and I noticed the hate in the eyes of Buffy’s dog when her beta male friend came over to the house. Trust me, pure hatred.

    I knew a guy who was a total beta and he was mauled nearly to death by an Airedale while playing with his Star Wars action figures.

    Yet as soon as this other guy came over – a total Alpha who had tattoos, wore a flat bill cap and combat boots – all the dogs treated him like a god.

    *sigh*

    Like


  253. Dachshunds are cool dogs. They are always looking for a hole to crawl into and sniff around. I bet the brown dachshund in the photo is an alpha dog.

    Like


  254. Dogs hate beta males. I was watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with my invisible friend

    LOL

    Like


  255. Dogs are not humans. They are not children

    this blog certainly made me a wiser person

    Like


  256. i think the 5:00 AM post is someone spoofing whiskey. should have been “dogs HATE HATE HATE beta males” – but that would’ve made it too easy.

    Like


  257. “Chic, I’m finding it a little weird that Doug or Dana would be trying to call someone else out on being a cold bitch.”

    actually, her transgression was typing “I” with such alarming frequency. i don’t give a flying fuck if some dumb bitch i don’t know is “cold”.

    That anyone could dispute the wisdom of this post is beyond me. i am a mouthy cunt of a jew lawyer type who has a man with no discernable traits of “success” in the old fashioned sense ruling my universe with exactly these techniques and i have never been so happy. it didn’t start out that way or happen overnight. i have no idea how much it naturally evolved or how much of it he planned and it was unequivocally “training”.

    how would men aspiring to train a woman in this manner deal with the fact that much of this “training” consist of EXACTLY what is taught in anger management classes and women’s magazines as “emotional abuse”? male dominant behavior has been pathologized to the point where in many oversocialized women i imagine the alarm bells that go off upon displays of dominance may muffle the attraction signals.

    or is it like physical chastisement, it only becomes “abuse” when shes not attracted to the man anymore?

    Like


  258. The difference between dogs and cats is that dogs are pack animals, so they run with their pack and want to have an alpha leader (should be *you*). Cats, on the other hand, are soloists and bond, generally, with *one* person — think of that person as the “Cat God”. Cats are aloof and standoffish and prissy with other people, but not with the Cat God. If you are the Cat God, you get a lot of affection and attention from the cat. Over time, if someone moves in or something like that, the cat may (or may not) warm up to that person, but that’s a coin toss. And in any case, that person will *never* be the Cat God. Dogs, on the other hand, will accept someone new into the pack if the Alpha accepts them.

    Like


  259. @ maurice

    just check the avatar. for each email, there will be a different avatar.

    Like


  260. see?

    Like


  261. nova, have you ever had a cat?

    They are, of course, not pack animals, but are hardly ‘loners’ like the majority of cat species, defending a territory and only interacting to fight or mate. Feral cats usually live in colonies of 3 or more, with a complicated social structure, and cats living in the same household are extremely social with each other, and multiple humans.

    My younger cat is as social and enthusiastic as a Lab, and not at all reserved with new people. He far outstrips my dog in this area.

    Again, individual variation is the rule.

    “A male wolf will continually challenge a man for alpha status, and those jaws can break bones.”

    LOL. Uh, no. My 110 lb female friend works with wolves in research, no is beating necessary for her or any of her colleges. Their jaws can break bones, but so can any dog’s. Don’t forget that N. American wolves are only about 80 lbs, a larger domestic dog would find cracking your bones much easier.

    Wolves are generally much more timid than dogs. Attacks by wild wolves are very rare, and the majority of fatalities from wolf and wolf-hybrid pets are children under 6 (same as dog fatalities).

    Like


  262. “Still, being alpha with a large or aggressive dog is a place to start.” – Doug1

    It’s better to be mauled to death by a large dog than get emasculated from women by being lesser-Beta with them.

    “ignore bad behavior
    reward good behavior” – G. Magarshak.

    Pffff. That should “immediate unpleasant punishment for bad behaviour, mild acknowledgement of good behaviour”.

    “I knew a guy who was a total beta and he was mauled nearly to death by an Airedale while playing with his Star Wars action figures.” – whiskey.

    How embarrassing. An human Alpha male would not have been able to restrain from beating that Om3ga to within an inch of his life either. It would look like a certain scene from Spaceballs.

    Like


  263. Dana says, “actually, her transgression was typing “I” with such alarming frequency. i don’t give a flying fuck if some dumb bitch i don’t know is “cold”.”

    I feel that you are pointing out a “transgression” that is not. She was discussing her life, her perspectives, and her opinion, and “I” is the term English speakers normally use to reference themselves. Would you prefer she spoke of herself in third person?

    This is also a clear case of someone in a glass house throwing stones.

    “That anyone could dispute the wisdom of this post is beyond me. i am a mouthy cunt of a jew lawyer type who has a man with no discernable traits of “success” in the old fashioned sense ruling my universe with exactly these techniques and i have never been so happy. it didn’t start out that way or happen overnight. i have no idea how much it naturally evolved or how much of it he planned and it was unequivocally “training”.”

    I may be mistaken, but you don’t seem very happy to me. That you even notice that your man has no “discernable traits of ‘success'” is very telling. My eye twitched upon reading that.

    I would venture, short sighted pseudo racist that he is, his success is merely non conventional. For some reason, a mental image of a Minuteman Project type of guy comes to mind the few times you describe him. I disagree with some of their peripheral worldview, but I respect those guys. People are getting killed by drug dealers and other thugs far enough away from the actual border that it shouldn’t be a problem if the government was doing its job.

    I guess they’re waiting for missiles like here. It’s coming if they don’t get their act together.

    If he’s just an armchair talker of crap, then fine…I could get your low opinion of his success because he’s not meeting his own measure. If he is out there actually defending our borders or otherwise served or is serving the public in a real way though, then I don’t care if his wet dream is a bright, White, blue eyed, utopia of transparent skinned albino polygamous people with all songs except the national anthem outlawed. He’s doing his job as a man. That’s what success is, without the social extras.

    “how would men aspiring to train a woman in this manner deal with the fact that much of this “training” consist of EXACTLY what is taught in anger management classes and women’s magazines as “emotional abuse”? male dominant behavior has been pathologized to the point where in many oversocialized women i imagine the alarm bells that go off upon displays of dominance may muffle the attraction signals.”

    I don’t think they muffle them. I think they just might determine whether someone is interested in being their partner or not. Too little judgement and the girl thinks she’s facing a wuss or the guy doesn’t want her. Too much, and she thinks the guy doesn’t want her.

    Men don’t abuse women they value. They maintain discipline, which is different.

    “or is it like physical chastisement, it only becomes “abuse” when shes not attracted to the man anymore?”

    The way she’d lose attraction is if he was slipping in other areas and made her feel less belonging to him. If a guy lets a woman dress like a slut and flirt with strange men, but then hits her for spilling wine on the carpet, that’s going to be received as abuse because he allows himself to be punked on one end but is overly demanding about stuff that doesn’t matter.

    So attraction does have a lot to do with how things are received, but it’s for the same reason you value the advice, especially criticism of a friend over a stranger…or of someone you know has your best interests at heart over someone you know hates you to the core.

    Like


  264. GoN

    if i don’t “sound happy” to you it is because like all women you cannot believe someone could hate someone ELSE for THEIR traits (it is only ‘jealousy’ or ‘issues’ on the haters part, never EVER the utter intrinsic loathesomeness of the object of their hatred) or be angry at the state of the world while being fulfilled in their personal life.

    this is typical female self centeredness.

    in fact, it is the general equanimity of my personal life that affords me the LUXURY of being angry at the state of the world at large.

    as for the rest of the stuff you just made up out of whole cloth, uh yeh–whatever…minutemen, border, aliens, transmitters in your teeth, too many people stomping around on your bridge…my eyes glaze over

    Like


  265. oh also Gon,

    11 cats?

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090311085151.htm

    cat shit causes schizophrenia–discuss

    Like


  266. Dana says, “if i don’t “sound happy” to you it is because like all women you cannot believe someone could hate someone ELSE for THEIR traits (it is only ‘jealousy’ or ‘issues’ on the haters part, never EVER the utter intrinsic loathesomeness of the object of their hatred) or be angry at the state of the world while being fulfilled in their personal life.”

    Um…

    No, you don’t seem happy to me because you narc’ed on your man’s extreme racism to make a point and still missed the point, have a history of shagging guys for social status points in futile slut culture therefore missing opportunities a smarter whore could have capitalized on ethically, and now you’re downgrading your current man’s success because again, you’re a whore who judges success in dollar signs and social status.

    So you’re like…a failed whore who is trying to convince other people that you’re so very happy even though you know you’re a failure as a whore.

    …dissing a wifely type who admires her man’s non conventional success and has the requisite independence of thought and emotional resillience to do so.

    You’re capping on Bonnie for not feeling like she’s sacrificed enough, and not slicing her veins and bleeding enough with fake nurturing.

    Bonnie: My man is off the grid, and I’m proud of this, and we’re doing our thing, and anybody who doesn’t like it can screw themselves.

    Dana: My man is unsuccessful and fucked in the head, but gosh darnit I worship him even though I think he’s an unworthy sod.

    Me: My man is probably in Tel Aviv banging a hot 25 year old. I hope he has fun. It proves that I’ve aged out, but I’m cool with that and probably should have gone for an older guy anyway. My bad. Life goes on.

    Bonnie and I are both happier than you. We think our men rock. Whatever shortcomings they have, “success” is a whole other issue. Maybe it’s because both our men can still shag hot 25 year old chicks.

    “this is typical female self centeredness.”

    My self centeredness is far above typical. It just doesn’t prevent me from empathizing with others. Yours, though perhaps less, apparently does.

    There isn’t a damned thing wrong with looking out for yourself so long as you’re not unduly harming others in the process. Her not being willing to be phony doesn’t make her a narcissist…just selective about who she invests heavy emotion into.

    “in fact, it is the general equanimity of my personal life that affords me the LUXURY of being angry at the state of the world at large.”

    So angry at the state of the world at large that you gauge your man’s success by that same fucked up world’s fucked up standards.

    I’m thinking of a word…two words…

    Poser and hoe.

    “as for the rest of the stuff you just made up out of whole cloth, uh yeh–whatever…minutemen, border, aliens, transmitters in your teeth, too many people stomping around on your bridge…my eyes glaze over”

    Yeah, just like TJF’s.

    Keep it glazing.

    Like


  267. “Mothering instinct is not something you’re over burdened by.”

    LOL! If this were true life would be much easier.

    Rum said:

    “You say you read a lot about canine psychology then you say something very wrong about bonding.
    The essence of a modern pet dog is that it is a wild canine selectively bred to retain juvenile qualities for life.
    Root stock canines like wolves and coyotes will form bonds with people but only while they are infants/adolescents. Fully adult and differentiated they do not bond with strangers. Neither do they bark for no reason or goof around a lot.
    I spent time in Alaska around Malamutes. They are closest to wolves of any (sort of( domesticated breed. They howl in ways that even an expert cannot tell from the real thing. They absolutely do not bond with new people after puppy-dom… blah blah blah, Malamutes pierce you with their icy eyes, etc”

    Rum,

    FYI, they have done genetic analysis of dog breeds and determined which ones were bred from the oldest stock and have most genetic similarities with wolves. The Malamute is indeed one the of the breeds closet to the wolf (and is certainly similar in appearance) – the AFGHAN HOUND is another. Heh.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_dog_breeds

    While you are correct that dogs are neotenous and that wolves don’t bark much, you are incorrect that wolves don’t play. They play a great deal with other members of their pack, and especially with any puppies. You are also incorrect that an adult ‘wild’ canine (wolf/coyote) is incapable of bonding with a human. Certainly an adult canine with no familiarity with humans would be difficult to tame, but with persistence a relationship can be established. As I said, I have a friend who works with wolves (research and observation). These animals are not hand-tame or kept as pets, but they do have to be friendly enough to observe on their territory, and have people get close enough to perform various experiments. Even though they live in the open in their pack, they easily adjust to different researchers arriving, observing and handling them. They bond pretty closely with some, hardly at all with others.

    I maintain my position that the bonds dogs form with people, while certainly meaningful and rewarding for both, are more transient and easily broken than sentimental dog-lovers like to believe.

    Like


  268. Dana says, “cat shit causes schizophrenia–discuss”

    Some people have very strong immune systems and strong minds. So those people don’t trap their cats in a building where they have nowhere to shit but in the house. Consequently, such people can have a natural relationship with many cats, and not have more shit to deal with than their immune system can handle.

    Rank has its privileges.

    Like


  269. I love me a good race thread… it’s like an e-UFC fight. And it clarifies. But they should happen only every, say, five posts. I don’t want the girls getting bored with guys bashing each others’ heads kind of thing and then leaving. Because sausage blogs suck.

    Question, if you wanted to write a post that is guaranteed to pull the biggest number of female commenters, what would it be about?

    The easy answer is a post on sex/romance, maybe celebrity gossip. But maybe there is a counterintuitive real answer?

    Like


  270. ”””””””””””””xsplat
    anonymous troll

    there is no convincing necessary it is obvious that anyone who likes this blog is a textbook misogynist

    If someone being deliberately unlikable, as you are being, is the best example you can give for female communication style, then damn straight i’m a misogynist.

    Anonymous, I hate you.

    You clearly want me to. And I oblige.
    ”””””””””””

    What a guy he he he

    Like


  271. Doug,

    Just when I wonder did “dude” start being widely applied to girls?

    LILGRL confessed:

    I’d say sometime in my middle school years.

    So, doug, as you’ve been informed, this is a very recent trend.

    Like


  272. Thor

    Dachshunds are cool dogs. They are always looking for a hole to crawl into and sniff around. I bet the brown dachshund in the photo is an alpha dog.

    “Alpha-ness” is not mere psychosocial domination – no. Nor is it merely concocting an extensively fabricated “routine” designed to ‘”ame” the female of the species. No.

    “Alpha-ness” is not simply being confident enough in displaying a brilliant sense of humor. It is not even about using “excessive” quotation marks.

    Alphaness is all about taste. One could presume Sonny Barger’s tatoos either tasteful or not, depending on one’s sense of aesthetics, but a uniformly agreed upon sense of The Good – and all that is just plain “good” is generally accepted as perfect.

    Alphaness, is, in fact, taste. That wienerdog displays it perfectly by targeting those whities. That is one perfect ass.

    Like


  273. maurice

    i think the 5:00 AM post is someone spoofing whiskey.

    You really think so?

    should have been “dogs HATE HATE HATE beta males” – but that would’ve made it too easy.

    That’s why I put in only one “hate”.

    Like


  274. nicole

    it is not “narcing or snitching” to say something about someone both you are extremely proud of and find admirable and masculine. any white man that says he isn’t a racist is a fag or lying.

    as for the reams of made up stuff that followed…ok, whatever you say

    Like


  275. Question, if you wanted to write a post that is guaranteed to pull the biggest number of female commenters, what would it be about?

    I think he already did, how to identify a slut; imagine it was posted now that this blog gets so many hits.

    Like


  276. Dana, I can’t make up your behavior. I only reference it, and anytime my accuracy suffers, anybody here is welcome to chime in.

    Bottom line: nobody here except maybe DA is interested in getting seriously entangled with a hoe. Hoes provide a service to humanity, but when they step out of place, they cause problems for wives that they shouldn’t…especially when someone is dumb enough to actually put a ring on them.

    You understand very well and make it very clear that you think your man is just that kind of dummy, even though you claim to love him because he pimps you well. However, because you even notice he’s a dummy and will say as much online, means that he’s slipping.

    So I’m just going to tell it like it is. You’re 40…my age. If you’re going to find your old sugar daddy, this is probably your last shot, although my “spider senses” tell me you’ve already hit your wall. So you best learn to stay put and as far as I or anyone else on this blog is concerned, your man, according to you, is the most wonderful man on earth and you could never even think of anyone else, and his success…is your success and you support him fully in whatever ventures he chooses, and respect the choices he has made in his life to the utmost.

    You dig?

    No trash talking your pimp, hoe…not even poison laced backhanded compliments from now on.

    Like


  277. Here’s a real horror story regarding North American wolf attacks:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenton_Joel_Carnegie_wolf_attack

    Like


  278. gig

    @ maurice

    just check the avatar. for each email, there will be a different avatar.

    I thought it was a sendup too, then as both whiskeys linked to his site I thought it was him, and was going to congratulate him on a sense of humor I never suspected of Whiskey.

    Congratulations instead to the parody meister.

    Like


  279. 11 cats?

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090311085151.htm

    cat shit causes schizophrenia–discuss

    Dana, are you calling Ghost of Nicole GoN, as in Gono (last name Rhea), one of Cinderellas sisters?

    Regarding toxoplasmosis, it also makes women horny sex kittens.

    I think my GF has it, as she used to own 100 cats, in a country rife with rats, who are part of the life cycle of the parasite.

    I love toxoplasmosis.

    It’s bad for men to get though.

    Like


  280. Cannon’s Canon

    i’ve just added “own a wolf” to my bucket list. i don’t recall hosting more than two activities at a time on such a list, as i exclude my weight training goals.

    I’ve wanted to own a wolf, but it would be far too much trouble here in the city, as amusing as it might be to take him for walks in the hipster and ghetto parts of town.

    If I were a rich man of leisure I’d like a pet wolf and raven.

    regarding wolves: i heard somewhere that if you ever encountered an aggressive wolf in the wild, showing him your neck was a feral sign of submission, and he was more likely to leave you alone. is there truth to this?

    LOL

    Wolves are not dumb animals — if you give them an opportunity (such as offering your neck to them), they will usually take it. You’d do better to show him the barrel of a gun and look him right in the eye. He’d probably get the point, and if not you could decorate your home with a wolf pelt.

    Like


  281. It is rare to ever encounter a wolf in the wild, as they’re mostly very timid animals. Showing typical canine signs of submission have worked for many in the past when fending off an attack. Wolves that will attack people with the intention of killing and eating them, rather than defending themselves if cornered, their pups or their territory, are very rare.

    Canine signs of submission: get low to the ground, don’t make eye contact, all noises should be high-pitched.

    Like


  282. If I were a rich man of leisure I’d like a pet wolf and raven.

    How evocative. There’s an opening line to a book in there somewhere.

    “VonBrown opened the briefcase, and retrieved piece after piece of filet mignon, which he tossed to the mouths of his pet wolf and raven.”

    It is rare to ever encounter a wolf in the wild, as they’re mostly very timid animals.

    I was once tracked by a large coyote during a midnight sojourn in the woods. Knowing that coyotees never attach humans kept me from feeling more than mild apprehension, but it was spooky.

    Like


  283. If I were a rich man of leisure I’d like a pet wolf and raven.

    How evocative. There’s an opening line to a book in there somewhere.

    “VonBrown opened the briefcase, and retrieved piece after piece of filet mignon, which he tossed to the mouths of his pet wolf and raven.”

    It is rare to ever encounter a wolf in the wild, as they’re mostly very timid animals.

    I was once tracked by a large coyote during a midnight sojourn in the woods. Knowing that coyotees never attach humans kept me from feeling more than mild apprehension, but it was spooky.

    Like


  284. @doug

    I missed your advice last night cuz my power cord was left at work, so here’s what I ended up doing.

    I called him. When I told him who I was he was very pleased I could tell by his voice. He said he’d called the woman who’d introduced us and told her to tell me to call him as I hadn’t given him my number. He asked if the introducer had called me to tell me this. I said no I’d called before I got the message he was pleased again. We talked for an hour. Went well.

    Today he texted me. Generic…I replied. He texted again and he said he’d call me tonight.

    Nice. Mutual attraction. And hey guess what? His name is Doug… cool huh. 🙂

    Like


  285. Firepower —

    Doug,

    Just when I wonder did “dude” start being widely applied to girls?

    LILGRL confessed:

    I’d say sometime in my middle school years.

    So, doug, as you’ve been informed, this is a very recent trend.

    Hah! Yep, like two years ago.

    Like


  286. hehehehehehhehe

    Like


  287. Xsplat, FYI, I’ve never had any STD’s in my entire, very interesting life. It’s not the what as much as it is the who with.

    It’s not a good idea to try to save hoes from the inevitable consequences of their behavior, one of which is to get knocked back by wifely types and the variable but ethical, whose nerves they grate with their incessant doubletalk.

    Hoes playing the role of wives with guys who aren’t sugar daddies are not happy, and the bitterness building within always oozes out. It only gets worse as they get older.

    Maybe you and some others don’t see it because you’re dating and hanging around younger women, and haven’t seen how these things play out in the long term, but some of the divorced guys whose wives left in the 30’s and 40’s have some idea of why I’m annoyed.

    Some who saw the hoe in their wives and kicked them to the curb before things got worse also know what I’m saying. Nothing you do is ever good enough.

    I have a friend making pretty good money, doing three jobs, two that are occasonal, but one with a big salary. His wife also works, making less but still, their combined income is pretty sweet. She is always telling him he doesn’t make enough. He could run two households well just on what he makes, but it’s not enough for her. They’re not high status jobs, and he has to take enough crap at work, and then come home to more crap.

    So you have to forgive my low tolerance for women who are eating, with a roof over their heads, messing around on the internet, etc. but saying their man isn’t successful.

    At the very least, he is successfully a man, which is more than can be said for a good number of guys these days.

    Bitter hoes don’t, in the moral sense, deserve to have husbands. They never appreciate them. In the natural sense though, I guess they do “win” since some guys are stupid enough to make a contract with them.

    I just don’t like to see someone rubbing her victorious scam artistry in other men’s faces.

    Like


  288. dogs smell fucking horrible, they shit everywhere, and their saliva leaves a film on your hand when they slobber on your hand. they’re dirtier than pigs, and don’t taste nearly as good. Owning a dog for anything other than hunting is an exercise in wastefulness and filth accumulation. Dog owners are betas.

    Like


  289. Like a good dog, Pupu was violently attacked by fleas two days ago. Sharing a red floral patterned cushion with an unfamiliar toy dog is a bad idea. Two beers later, Pupu found a hundred some tiny bites. Yucks!

    Like


  290. LILGRL

    LILGRL confessed:

    I’d say sometime in my middle school years.

    Firepower aptly assessed: So, doug, as you’ve been informed, this is a very recent trend.

    Hah! Yep, like two years ago

    then that
    makes you
    too old for me

    Like


  291. on September 25, 2009 at 2:23 pm drunk explat who will rue his post in the morning.

    “Xsplat, FYI, I’ve never had any STD’s in my entire, very interesting life.”

    Where did that “response” come from?

    Ok, that was not an STD. Not a cancer. But was that thought process sick?

    Hebephrenic.

    Unrelated and disjointed thought processes.

    You have no clue how different you are from the normals.

    Some elder may deserve respect, even in their deterioration of brain.

    You didn’t earn it.

    Like


  292. xsplat you’re an idiot. Coyotes attack humans.

    Welmer, when I was a toddler my dad brought home a very young puppy that was half belgian shepherd half wolf. He loved my brothers and I dearly. He frequently killed rattlesnakes that showed up in our yard when we were out playing. He slept in my bed with me every night. We did not live in the best of areas and I think my mom felt safe having him to protect us.

    But he repeatedly tried to attack the mailman when he’d try and come in the yard while we were out playing. In fact, he’d go after any stranger who came near us.

    Then when my little brother was born 4.5 years later, he wanted to kill him. The dog went to live with my grandfather.

    Three years later my grandfather was joking around and grabbed at me. The dog launched himself at my grandfather and shredded his arm. Dog was put down.

    Wolves are alpha. They will bond only to people they perceive to be part of their pack (my brothers and I were his litter mates) and that is it. They are an incredible danger to anyone else. They are not pets.

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  293. Coyote attacks are incredibly rare. And just like wolves and dogs, the majority of the attacks are on children under 10. There is only one recorded fatality, a 2-year-old.

    Wild wolves and coyotes in their natural habitat are nearly zero threat humans. Canines not used to humans are incredibly timind. But when they are forced to live closely with humans or brought into the home, trouble starts.

    Like


  294. lolrof
    willard, you deserve an award for that whiskey send up.

    Like


  295. on September 27, 2009 at 5:08 am msexceptiontotherule

    Ahhh…my dog has a definite air of confidence in her combat skills against both other humans and other dogs whilst she’s out walking with me. Nevermind the fact that she’s appraising the neighbor’s rott-german shepard mix who is tall enough to sub for pony rides at a 4 year old’s birthday party if needed…in exactly the same way as the floor mop on a leash that lives only a few units down the way. It’s something that she only does with me, to the same extent as her being willing to listen and to obey her command words – no outside person is acceptable to go out and walk around with, as far as she’s concerned.

    My cat, hates me, but that’s something I’ve grown accustomed to. It’s the sudden leaping up onto some piece of furniture near me, for the purpose of biting my shoulder and then taking off to hide out that I find uncomfortable. And I’m the one person that kept her from getting sealed inside a wall by a contractor doing some work at my place, after she’d gone exploring and then trapped when he resumed his work. I guess it’s her revenge on me for being willing to own such a hostile *though very small* animal.

    The mr. taught the dog to go immediately to hostile tactics whenever someone is around me without her there inbetween as a buffer, along with barking until I actually acknowledge with the right phrase because he worried that I wouldn’t hear the door or may have a prowler that needs to be chased off, so he did his best to make sure the dog would be able to assume these tasks in his absence despite the difficulty because she’s always been more bonded with me and that affects her willingness to listen to someone else…we both miss him, though I don’t think she knows the permanence factor to the situation.

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  296. Hopefully you will see him again one day.

    Like


  297. Here is a suggestion: you should really do some research on BREAST TO WAIST RATIO. I think a lot of guys like me enjoy boobs and so models and ballet dancers don’t really appeal that much. Ali Larter was a very sexy girl but small boobs. I am pretty sure there is an ideal range that men really prefer with waist-boob ratio.

    I don’t think its the boob-to-waist per say. Most men prefer a large C cup and cup size of course related to the boob to rib-cage ratio. However, because cup size is additive its not exact.

    However, there is a strong ribcage to waist ratio. The smaller the better. Ideal body is going to be a narrow rib cage, sligtly narrower still waist, flairing hips and an ovoid pelvis.

    Its not so much the size of the butt but how it hangs off the pelivs. Women with large gluteus mediuses or heavy upper butt fat deposits can fake this look. However, women with a small backside can have just as strong of an effect if the pelvis is shaped correctly.

    Like


  298. on September 29, 2009 at 5:37 am msexceptiontotherule

    Gunslingergregi: yeah, just as long as it doesn’t end up happening sometime in the next year or so….I’ve still got some things that need to be changed and others that need to have a plan to make sure that I’ve given sufficient consideration for the future needs of the damn animals, so that should I die suddenly, they don’t also find themselves being suddenly transported to a shelter where they wait about 72 hours before they get to go into the “showers” before finally they are unceremoniously thrown into the crematorium with the other animals waiting for there to be enough for an efficient group cremation cycle. But other than that, and making sure my house is completely free of things that I don’t think the parents should ever see and probably wouldn’t know existed with their conservative christian life and all – you would have died laughing if you heard the title of the book my mom gave me the day before I got married and couldn’t actually make eye contact while saying I should read it before the wedding night and all that jazz. Very weird moment as it was…I probably have it keeping an end of some piece of furniture totally level so the pile of paperwork isn’t going to easily slide off….but at least it’s finally getting used for something. 😉

    Besides, it’s kind of hard for me to believe he wouldn’t want me to do more living first, otherwise he would have specified that I must sacrifice my life in a certain time soon after losing him..right? The guy that it seemed like I had just talked to the day before and said he’d be home pretty soon but only for a few days …who just…was gone and all I had was an officially presented message brought to my door which didn’t tell me much about how it went, felt totally surreal and like it would have been better if I’d at least been able to talk to him so he knew it was ok to go…but the mr. was definitely not someone you can find more than just the first one which was enough of a task to handle so a second round when it’s already known that you won’t find out there, so why put all that effort and time into something you still won’t find. Like when you forget to take money out of your pockets before tossing your clothes into the wash, but before you remember it your cousin has already swiped it after getting all into your stuff because it’s there and she’s getting her crap out of the dryer before running out too quick for you to catch her from driving off to spend it on weed. You know it’s gone, but you can’t seem to not check to make sure because you can’t believe the bitch would be that scandalous when you know that’s how she always is because she’s around and part of the family that you only see when they need something.

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  299. on September 29, 2009 at 11:11 am gunslingergregi

    lol go into the showers.

    Yea I think he would have specified if he would have thought of it. I have told mine I do expect her to come with me into the next phase of life and hopefully there is something there if I go first. Exactly how is my woman gonna find a man like me. Impossible he he he
    So if your gonna stay you may not be able to find an exact match to him but maybe you can find someone you enjoy being with. That might be possible.

    Like


  300. on September 29, 2009 at 10:40 pm msexceptiontotherule

    The difficult part is trying to figure out what that would include and also present characteristics found in the currently existing population of unknowns that are going to be available and I don’t share well with others. I have that written on every one of my kindergarten report cards for that whole year…”does not like to share with the other students, difficulty doing so to point she prefers to be sent to sit at table instead of sharing things.” What can I say, my mom must have started teaching me early that it’s terrible to borrow anything of someone else’s for a long list of reasons and also because they can start to consider themselves owed for letting you. I don’t really care if it’s something another woman is willing to accept from her man, but I’m more likely to kill them both and use my connections to dispose of the bodies and go back to living life and not worry about it coming back and causing a problem later. If anything I still have a few things (other than t&a) that allow me to know where I can find all of the caustic chemicals removed from various meth labs that no one has figured out what to do with since you can’t just dump it down a drain and all so there is enough for dissolving a few things randomly tossed in with it and not have anyone notice. So, now that that’s settled and we’ve established that I will be the only one (help us obi wan, you’re our only hope!) in any future relationship with an as of this moment still unknown man and so shall I be only with him (even if we don’t share a joint checking account ever or at the least have a private account to retain anything we may own before this ltr of the speculative future type without having to make it complicated and forced into equally splitting it because we were silly enough to co-mingle it all because we thought that would be a demonstration of trust and love even though there are a thousand ways that WOULD do that and financially chaining yourself and all that will include in future times in life – to another is NOT one of them); what am I supposed to do with the time that’s been freed up on the schedule now? Outside of diversifying my investments and what not that is, with the whole personal accountant that manages the estate planning and protection of financial assets invested in the best way to keep it from sudden and total *wtf?!? do you mean there’s no money left, what the hell happened!?!?* loss of what was supposed to be a retirement savings account that would have had enough to really be living comfortably and not just saying that so the kids don’t worry so much and don’t like to complain with how little time it’s going to be something that still matters anyway. I don’t want to have anything unprepared for the possibility or inevitability of something happening and know that my family will be the people who would make those decisions for me in the event I die tomorrow – mainly because I know that they’re going to completely fuck up and do exactly what I didn’t want because it’d be easier for them. It’s like they only deal with things by moving on as quickly as they can with their lives but WTF exactly are they in a hurry to get to, death? Seriously, they’re retired, how long do they plan that will take to get there?

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  301. msNOTanexceptiontotherule

    Can you please learn to format your incoherent ramblings?

    I’m not going to bother reading your posts anymore.

    Like


  302. on September 29, 2009 at 11:10 pm gunslingergregi

    It takes an iq of 300 to read her posts for some understanding he he he

    Actually thats perfect I always used to share myself when younger so it is normal for a guy I think. A woman should be into not sharing herself with everyone that comes along. She should only share herself with one other.

    Like


  303. on September 29, 2009 at 11:12 pm gunslingergregi

    Oh yea and all ya got to do is teach the kids to beat life and they will be fine. No resources required for them that they can’t aquire on their own. Of course they should be able to chill at the house if they want to aquire resources but not a requirement.

    Like


  304. on September 30, 2009 at 5:36 am msexceptiontotherule

    Gunz; man, mb is seriously missing the point when I comment and it’s not directed generally; it means that anyone not directly named is unlikely to understand it because they weren’t the target audience. Besides, if they think my comments are incoherent rambling, you’re probably right about them being unable to meet the intelligence standard required to comprehend things I comment with.

    “A woman should be into not sharing herself with everyone that comes along. She should only share herself with one other.”

    So are you referring to God or just one guy that she crosses paths with randomly maybe? You seem like you share a lot of things with people; girl at restaurant, girl drunk and cuddling, girl you meet god knows where else; lots of sharing. I hope you’re making sure to wear the proper protection levels according to how much sharing any particular one has done in their past. Sometimes it’s easier to climb out a bathroom window on the 5th floor using only the drain pipe for the roof to shimmy down rather than take the chance of something breaking down the kevlar and decontamination suit intended to withstand the immediate exposure to chemical agents for long enough to go through a full contaminant threat elimination procedure not unlike a firehose when first arriving at a very hardcore prison and then followed by delousing.

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  305. on September 30, 2009 at 10:42 am gunslingergregi

    Well the random guy that becomes her god anyway.

    Yea I don’t think I will be sharing to the level I shared in high school. I would have to hire a secretary to handle the phone so I could have me time. Trying to focus on hobby right now mon thru fri 930 to 4. Maybe just do some light petting. really really not trying to pop out kid so I use the full body kevlar suit he he he

    Like


  306. on October 1, 2009 at 10:40 am msexceptiontotherule

    gunz:

    Oh my. Well, there’s always the option of lying and saying you don’t have a cell phone on you for most of the day because it’s not permitted to have it on and doing any answering of calls while doing work-related tasks, even the ones that require “field work”. If you’re convincing enough, you shouldn’t have any further questions from the ladies about what kind of work you do anyways.

    But light petting sounds kind of like what it starts with for anyone new to state prison accomodations, of course it would depend on their cell mate…and it definitely doesn’t have the concern over the possibility of any baby-making, unless it’s the womens facility and the guards can get enough time in a hallway before someone (like a female guard or a large group of other inmates as they are ferried into another area with the supervision of a few more guards…) comes along.

    Kevlar can be helpful in more than just keeping bullets from killing you. They can save your life from a really crazy hoe who wants to have your baby so she can get money for selling it to anyone willing to buy it. Sometimes, there are a lot more buyers than people may think. At least when it comes to cute and snuggly babies that have well-shaped heads. Gotta make sure that they aren’t always laying so that they get one of those flattened areas, especially if it takes a while for the kid to grow a decent amount of hair.

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  307. ””””””””But light petting sounds kind of like what it starts with for anyone new to state prison accomodations, of course it would depend on their cell mate…”””””

    Well I was just in county so all the things I could have done in life are basically complete. Wasn’t that bad except for breakfast being a peanut butter and jelly sandwitch and lunch being a tuna sanwtch one each with one piece sandwitch bread on each side. There was no light petting of any kind except for the guards. The “population” was very nice. I made like 4 new close friends and some aquantances who told me all about there lives. I proceeded to tell them how they could adapt to a legit way of achieving more income than their current lifestyle choices were creating. They taught me about the current legal system. It was like cheers not like a movie about a correctional institution at all. You wanna go where everybody knows your name and their always glad you came. You wanna go where people know, people are all the same. You wanna go where everyone knows your name. It was like joining an elite club. I guess why a lot of them it was the 5th or 7th time they had returned to spend some time. Really would have not minded staying for a couple years but their was no smoking. Add smoking and I think it was one of the more fun clubs I have been to since being home. Lack of available drinking water though was also a drawback I would say.

    Like


  308. Still got to see you make a goat pass out though I think even if that would be all that would occur.

    Like


  309. on October 2, 2009 at 7:37 am msexceptiontotherule

    Gunz(and ammo, or at least his housemates – who will always abide by the rule of no fighting in the house, even if they’re from two cars greenlighting on each other…which is almost always not permitted after there were a few incidents where they kept putting new guys into the cell with a crazy guy who said he’d kill everyone they assigned to his cell. The last one he killed with a pen and a piece of metal from an unknown origin 30 minutes into his arrival and housing assignment.) –

    I’ll consider whether or not I can release anything that would show me doing my damndest to make goats faint – the mr. found it almost as entertaining as the time my dad did the whole “Be vewwy vewwy quiet, we’we hunting wabbits!” to my mom after she’d gone into this long speech about wanting the rabbit to get into her little cage/trap so she could relocate it and try to save her flowers from being eaten. They live in Nebraska for Gods sake, and what if she relocated the mother rabbit to a place that’s miles and miles and miles from her family that starved to death so that my mom didn’t have to worry about the thing eating her garden & so the grandkids didn’t freak out over what happened to the bunny – they were worried that after in the trap, something horrible would be done. Hard to explain to them at their ages that if anyone is going to be more likely, it’s my dad who would get stuck with the duties such as gopher tactics using a hose and waiting with a 3 prong hoe…the gardening kind…at my mother’s insistence. He refuses to do anything involving rabbit-homicide since the one hunting trip years and years ago.

    But whether or not it’s possible to share anything will depend largely on the risk factor associated with my identity being compromised enough in regards to being employed by “the man” responsible for every act and plan to ensure the plot started with the signing of the constitution to always do what was necessary for keeping everyone down. They can be weird about stuff…even if it’s as silly as me doing my best to scare goats into fainting, which is more likely to succeed when they actually are
    afflicted with myotonia congenita. Otherwise they just want to eat any buttons that I may have on my clothing, along with the feed I won’t share with anyone, not even little kids who might be there. The mr. used to tease me about having to talk the angry parents out of trying to do anything, sometimes saying that it was better to just back off and that he was assigned as my personal security making it against the law to interfere. They probably thought we were crazy.
    Goddamn I miss him a lot sometimes.

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  310. Yea I think movies and tv have helped a lot to presume guilt just like trying to show that most people are not leading lives of quiet resignation desperation. There are really only a few with interesting lives their all in prison.

    Like


  311. Or maybe a few escaped that with luck but yea their will probably be some outliers. The norm I think is the norm and pathetic.

    Like


  312. So yea in a month been in prison and some chick says shes pregnant and wants my kid he he he
    Great to be home.
    Hopefully just another false pregnancy like all the others.

    Like


  313. on October 7, 2009 at 3:45 am msexceptiontotherule

    ooooh, so there are a lot of hopefuls in the race to have their babies fathered by gunz…you can always consider a vasectomy so that any time a woman comes to you and says that she’s pregnant and you’re the father, you can tell her “Is that so? Good luck with that, feel free to try pursuing it in court. In fact, here’s my sample ahead of time – take note of the lack of sperm biyotch.”

    Besides, that way you don’t have to coat the kevlar suit with spermicide.

    Like


  314. on October 8, 2009 at 4:13 pm gunslingergregi

    Well she started her period yesterday so yea off the hook. I think my sperm are some good soldiers willing to commit hary carie when told.

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  315. on October 8, 2009 at 4:14 pm gunslingergregi

    I want to have kids. I just don’t want to lose my freedom and have the gov involved in my life constantly up my ass.

    Like


  316. Interesting to see how this went from an analogy about weak men, dogs and woman to solely about men and their ego’s.

    The original post was fantastic, wholly controversial and very funny.

    I agree about getting an unruly dog to learn the ropes but it can just as easily go the other way. The dog takes over and commands its bitches, like the herb so well described in the article.

    Some people just aren’t born to lead…..they should be born with rings in their noses….it would save a lot of time.

    Like


  317. on October 10, 2009 at 7:27 am msexceptiontotherule

    “gunslingergregi: I want to have kids. I just don’t want to lose my freedom and have the gov involved in my life constantly up my ass.”

    so essentially what you’re *really* saying is that you don’t want kids then?

    And exactly how long do you plan to take for your freedom phase; is it going to end up moving to the mid-life-crisis phase on its own, maybe the I’m-Michael-Douglas-my-wife-is-really-hot-and-I-don’t-know-how-I-landed-her! phase? Better be careful that you don’t wait so long you find that the time for children has passed and leaves nothing to carry on the legacy for the future.

    “I think now would be a *great* time to have a car with ejection seats!”
    “You may want to get a convertible for that…”
    “How about I just kick you out the passenger side instead? What else would I have taken out the seat belt and not repaired the lock on that side for?”

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  318. Naaa trying to have kids asap just not in us of a.

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  319. ””is it going to end up moving to the mid-life-crisis phase on its own,”””’

    I had my mid life crisis at 18 he he he

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  320. on October 11, 2009 at 11:09 pm msexceptiontotherule

    gunz: but I was referring to YOUR midlife crisis, not what the women were going through when you were 18 and at the perfect age for the mrs. robinson set! Silly!

    Like


  321. This post goes immediately into the Hall of Fame. Dead on, baby.

    Like


  322. sand free love scenes by dog

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  323. You know this is very true. just says it all.

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  324. Some how I feel that my ex and me were just an very, very odd couple from this blog. I’m either a beta or some form of greater beta but my ex cheated on her boyfriend who she said was like 6’3″ worked 2 jobs, had a 10 inch cock and loved the hell out of her. She was still a virgin.

    All I did was look her in the eyes a few times and ask her if she what she likes to do for fun on a date that SHE asked me to. I may be a beta but I got laid every single day. She said she didn’t eve like sex that much but she was always turned on by me.

    It was a pretty decent relationship. I would go over to her place play video games while she studied, we would fuck and talk about our day.

    She broke up with because I wouldn’t marry her and she was afraid the break up would be too hard. Plus she said something about not wanting to marry some one who was going to hell, whatever that means.

    From this blog it would seem I had the shitiest relationship in the world. I sure was happy as fuck.

    Of course getting a new girl after that has been near impossible but she was pretty high quality girl. Though no girl that religious would ever date an atheist.

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  325. Yeah except dog can’t run away from you.

    Like