Younger Women Are Good For A Man’s Health

It’s a truism that oftentimes the things that feel good to us are also good for us. A recent German study found that men live longer if they marry younger women, and that the longevity benefits accrue with each additional year the woman is younger than the man. (Hat tip: reader Conscientious Observer)

A man’s chances of dying early are cut by a fifth if their bride is between 15 and 17 years their junior.

The risk of premature death is reduced by 11 per cent if they marry a woman seven to nine years younger.

Every man reading this is saying to himself “They needed a study for this?”. Every woman reading this is saying to herself “I cream for my oevrlord!”.

And in a shocking… shocking, I say!… discovery, older women are bad for a man’s health.

The study at Germany’s Max Planck Institute also found that men marrying older women are more likely to die early.

What about the fabled cougars and their false bravado boosterism for the delights of hard-up boy toys?

The results suggest that women do not experience the same benefits of marrying a toy boy or a sugar daddy.

Wives with husbands older or younger by between seven and nine years increase their chances of dying early by 20 per cent.

Hilarious. As for women dying younger when married to an older man, that’s a feature, not a bug. Since he’s older and has a shorter lifespan as a man, she’ll die right around the same time as him. Hollywood romance!

just right

The study’s authors theorize why this might be so.

Scientists say the figures for men may be the result of natural selection – that only the healthiest, most successful older men are able to attract younger mates.

“Another theory is that a younger woman will care for a man better and therefore he will live longer,” said institute spokesman Sven Drefahl.

I have a better theory. When a man is banging a hot chick half his age he wants to stay alive as long as possible! Incentives matter.

Maxim #93: The rare older woman-younger man pairing is like a lab experiment gone wrong. It violates the natural order of things, and leaves its practitioners emotionally twisted and in a constant mental race to hyperrationalize their subpar mate choice.

saraThe younger man in such a bizarro world December-May coupling has no interest in her rusty muff beyond dumping a few fucks in her until someone younger and hotter comes along. The older woman knows she is an expedient hole and will never be loved by her boy toy, nor will she ever truly be able to love him. (Women are wired to experience difficulty falling in love with younger men.) Hers is a loveless future of cats and belly roll lint.

And so what you see are weirdo new-age divorcees and rode hard and tossed away wet single moms bleating most loudly about the glories of the younger man, because in point of fact they cannot attract the sorts of men they most want. They wave away their sad predicament with a bowl of sour grapes and transparent sloganeering. There are certain types of women nearly all men avoid for anything more substantial than a few rolls in the hay. Two types that are always at the top of that no-go list are eccentric, deranged divorcees and bitter, emotionally arid, caustically unfeminine single moms.

Go forth, brothers, and sweep a younger woman off her feet. You now have the stamp of science validating your lechery.





Comments


  1. Well, it’s all really clear to me, then.

    I have to marry a man that is at least 15 years older than me and SAVE HIS LIFE.

    This is my duty as a medical professional, a human being and a woman.

    Liked by 1 person


  2. Rich people live longer, and also have better chances of scoring obscenely younger chicks. ‘Nuff said.

    Like


  3. Peter: No risks to be taken!

    I’m looking everywhere, trying to find the data for over 17 years/other combos. I hate it when news articles never link the original study. ‘A study said… ‘ Well, how do I know what it says if you won’t tell me how to find it? Dishonest spinning.

    Like


  4. Bhetti

    Preach it young stuff!!

    Liked by 1 person


  5. Well it’s official. I have to drop Sara I now, or risk certain death.

    Long live the sexy young thangs!

    Like


  6. Doug: Now, look, we need to save your life here and if I can just find the original data…

    Like


  7. This topic deserves further research. What about two younger wives? Even if the life expectancy goes down, I theorise the Quality of Life score goes way up.

    Liked by 1 person


  8. “Stay Alive – Fuck ’em Under 25!”

    It’s my AAA bumpersticker.

    I modify it by selecting blonds and keeping far away from brunettes of all ethicities – and especially damn redheads.

    Like


  9. I recently posted this comment over at the highly useful <a href="http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/02/07/top-two-rules-for-dating-younger-women/&quot;
    Top Two Rules For Dating Younger Women entry, but it seems germane in light of these important scientific findings:

    Roissy,

    Great advice. I recently revisited this old post because I’m casually dating three 20 year old women right now, two of whom turn 21 this summer. I’m 30.

    Honestly, after a horrible bout of engagement-laden oneitis for a girl who was exactly 5 years younger, I was under the false impression that this was it for me with regard to sub-25 girls. I irrationally believed that I was now relegated to dating whatever passable girls I could find in the quarter-century+ tier.

    Additionally, a single, 27-year-old female friend told me that turning 30 would automatically close the doors to such young women, and increase the letch factor significantly, and by Lucifer, she’s been dead wrong. How stupid I was for ever believing this about myself.

    To wit, I’ve recently bumped into several old high school classmates only to find them overweight and accompanied by unimpressive women, if accompanied at all. It really underscored the importance of keeping in shape and maintaining the raw vitality of a 23 year old man through working out. While maintenance workouts will suffice for most men, I find that when I’m progressing physique-wise, the confidence I exude magnifies the attraction of women — regardless of age. Of course that’s nothing ground-breaking, but this simple truth just can’t be overstated.

    This, combined with the hands-off “don’t-really-care-much” approach you delineate here has been absolutely killer for me in having a satisfying life of sexual pursuit with no (nonlegal) age limit.

    If I had anything to add to your regime, its this:

    Should a younger woman that you’re dating crack a joke about your age or the age difference, you in turn should laugh mischievously like the sexual scofflaw that you are and then kiss her while smiling, a celebratory act acknowledging that you’re ignoring the feminism-influenced social order and enjoying it.

    Liked by 1 person


  10. Pupu has always known she is altruistic. The test yesterday was wrong!

    Like


  11. on June 3, 2009 at 12:17 pm Colin Bowel

    Funny, I pictured Sara as a blonde.

    Like


  12. Left-wing faggots are so arrogant, they think they can play god.

    1) They think that in order to get younger men to date older cougars, all they have to do is make a few TV shows.

    2) They think that yelling a few obscenities can make gay marriage and other faggotty practices accepted.

    3) They think that weirder and weirder expansions of affirmative action and hate crime laws can change basic natural truths.

    Leftards think they are God. Such is their arrogance.

    Liked by 1 person


  13. A man’s chances of dying early are cut by a fifth if their bride is between 15 and 17 years their junior.

    Look at John McCain.

    His wife is 17 years younger, and very attractive for her age of 55. Thus, the Mav is sprightly and energetic even at 72.

    Like


  14. Bhetti

    This topic deserves further research. What about two younger wives? Even if the life expectancy goes down, I theorise the Quality of Life score goes way up.

    Lord you’re killing me!!! Or you’re saving my life. I theorize life expectancy goes up even more. Yes I do. And that’s just what …

    Like


  15. Doug: That’s it. You need to convert and move immediately. Your life is on the line.

    It’s quite clear why all these polygamous sheiks are living a respectable amoung of time despite their dissolution.

    Like


  16. on June 3, 2009 at 12:42 pm Jesus Christ

    Another load of B.S.

    Like


  17. Bhetti–

    To the Gulf? That would be hard for me to imagine. (Visiting with someone would be grand.)

    London on the other hand…

    STOP. Not this again!!

    J’accuse!! This time it’s your fault.

    Like


  18. Much Younger Wife = No Crisis Midlife

    Here’s some corroborating evidence to the topic at hand as well as much needed dispelling of the myth that something is wrong with men when they experience the fabled “midlife crisis”:

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20070622-000002.xml

    “Many believe that men go through a midlife crisis when they are in middle age. Not quite. Many middle-aged men do go through midlife crises, but it’s not because they are middle-aged. It’s because their wives are. From the evolutionary psychological perspective, a man’s midlife crisis is precipitated by his wife’s imminent menopause and end of her reproductive career, and thus his renewed need to attract younger women.”

    Emphasis mine. Without a doubt, having such an existential, stress-inducing crisis takes years off your life, and should be avoided at all costs. I’m guessing that many man who’s gone through this (pretty sure my dad did, whereas my bachelor uncle didn’t) didn’t even know what hit him, because the pervasive, wrong thinking is that it a result of a character flaw or waning of confidence in the man due to his age. Perhaps this qualifies as a pretty cultural lie set to perish, thanks to science:

    Accordingly, a 50-year-old man married to a 25-year-old woman would not go through a midlife crisis, while a 25-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman would, just like a more typical 50-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman. It’s not his midlife that matters; it’s hers. When he buys a shiny-red sports car, he’s not trying to regain his youth; he’s trying to attract young women to replace his menopausal wife by trumpeting his flash and cash.

    The flash-&-cash part is just one manifestation, I believe. Divorce is another. Mel Gibson surely had all of the material accoutrements prior to his soon-to-be-exwife going menopausal, so all that changed was his overt behavior and lack of caring that others (including his family) may judge him to be a disloyal, lecherous cad. Sure, but he’s a happy one. His Russian tart isn’t even a 10 but he’s as smug as a bug in a multiple-decades-his-junior rug:

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  19. older man/younger woman is easily and clearly the natural order of things, for the reasons roissy enumerated and many more. i can testify from personal experience …

    @bhetti – well, two wives means two mothers-in-law, of only a few years younger than the man for younger brides. as most men will testify, one is more than enough.

    does this mean you would even contemplate sharing your Abelard with another, though …?

    @peter: i’m confused. didn’t you mean to write “Muff” said?

    Like


  20. Correlation does not imply causation.

    Like


  21. Doug: I’m sorry.

    Can anybody blame me for trying?

    maurice: Well, I already do share and wouldn’t dream of depriving womankind of my Abelard. Doesn’t mean I’m not competitive.

    Like


  22. “There are certain types of women nearly all men avoid for anything more substantial than a few rolls in the hay.”

    This is most all women.

    The most healthy relationship for an older man:

    Two young, fly, foreign girlfriends in a Mediterranean beach town.

    – MPM

    Like


  23. I was astonished at Hugh Jackmans 47 year old wife. Jesus, look at that neck!

    FYI for older men dating younger women I agree with Mehow – once you have the tactics down, your lifestyle will make or break your sets. It’s ok to be figuring stuff out in your 20’s, but after 30 you gotta have your shit together.

    Like


  24. Roissy,

    Are you actually stating marriage is a feasible option now? Under these lovely conditions of inequality?

    Where is this study? How many couples were included? for what time frame?

    Younger men bring stamina and vitality to the plate, but lack expertise and patience…yet…Older men bring experience and occaisionally viagra.

    Younger women don’t question, but also lack a knowledge base of where you are coming from….There are levels of being younger….More than ten years leyway on either side is not usually lasting. Daddy’s little girl or a boy toy may be fun and tight-skinned, but are they lasting?

    Like


  25. @Jesus Christ- Somehow, I thought your Second Coming would be heralded by a more dignified phrase. Unless you are a satanic impostor.

    Liked by 1 person


  26. Correlation != causation.

    Like


  27. Ok, how about this…I’m 26 years old and single. I just ended a four year relationship after my boyfriend cheated on me and gave me an STD. Yes, it sucked.

    I always wanted to get married and have children, but I apparently picked the wrong man. I’ve never been the promiscuous club girl type. I’m attractive, I take great care of myself and I’d probably be good “wife material”, but I feel like damaged goods.

    This blog seems to be filled with intelligent men who have no problems being brutally honest. So, any advice for me? Should I still continue looking for a husband, and if so, how should I bring up my status? Or would now be a good time to start collecting cats?

    Like


  28. Hugh Jackman’s wife is 54 and 13 years older than him. She looks like she would have been pretty hot in her younger days, but, good god, he’s a freaking movie star.

    Like


  29. @pez – don’t squirm and evade. the truth is the truth – too bad if it hurts. the study data is right there – why attack it? why do you say that an age gap is necessarily a “Daddy’s little girl” relationship? older men are more mature, emotionally and intellectually, experienced, socially established and powerful, and richer. all the things that women are attracted to. what’s the mystery?

    Like


  30. @kalliope – depends. what’s the STD? If it’s AIDS, there are networks for that, but you’ve got bigger problems than finding a mate. that seems pretty unloikely to eb it, though. if it’s herpes – nothing a little disclosure and care can’t handle. if it’s something curable, then you’re not realyl danaged at all.

    sounds like the damage was mostly psychological – you still feel crappy about having been cheated on, breaking up, etc. best cure for that is to get out and start meeting people and dating around. if you’re 26 and attrractive, you should have no trouble – the only barrier to finding someone better seems to be your own mental state.

    Like


  31. p.s. sorry about the typos.

    Like


  32. Thursday –

    It lends strong credence to the notion that Hugh Jackman is gay.

    I mean, c’mon now. They “tried” to have kids when she was ~45 years old? Wolverine didn’t want a wife, he wanted a permanent fag-hag and an older industry insider to help his career. Not a bad move, apparently. Its doubtful that an openly gay actor would be playing some of the film roles and garner the degree of fame that he has.

    Like


  33. kalliope, I recently got divorced at the age of 25. One might say I fall under the “damaged goods” category. Like you, I also wanted the family life, and so I went into a marriage and tried to have children, thinking it was what was best for me. It really wasn’t.

    Without real love, without the feeling of “rightness,” without a fundamental compatibility between two people, you’re going to find that despite all the other things being seemingly fine, you will experience a soul-crushing emptiness, despondency and lack of purpose.

    I agree with maurice’s assessment that the damage done to you was mostly psychological. An STD is really not that big of an issue if it is not life-threatening, as many people have various illnesses and take long-term prescriptions for one thing or another. Just be honest with all potential partners up front. Though, in my opinion, you should wait at least a few months before that.

    Heal thyself first, before you rush out and try to look for a man. Become a complete and balanced individual able to stand on your own two feet, relish in the independence that you know you are capable of, and cultivate yourself for yourself. Don’t try to “bring up your status” for a man. That is an exercise in futility. Deal with the damage within and become confident in your own abilities.

    Become a better, happier and more fulfilled person, and you might soon find someone who will be better for you, who will make you happier, and who will truly fulfill you. That is what happened to me. I found an amazing man soon after moving out from my ex-husband. It was when I decided that I did not need a man to be with me and that I was just fine with future all by myself, that I found someone who was also walking a path of “fine being single.” We’re now walking a path together.

    Oh and on the subject of “younger women,” my guy is a little younger than me. We were born on the same day exactly three months apart.

    Like


  34. on June 3, 2009 at 1:36 pm deTocqueville

    @kalliope

    The only damage is mental/psychological. Take care of your STD, work out, get some fake titties and bang away. Pity gets you nowhere.

    Like


  35. [email protected]
    “This topic deserves further research. What about two younger wives? “

    Or three, if two’s company, then three’s heaven.
    Does anyone recall the double-mint twins?

    [email protected]

    I’ll take your redheads off your hand, after all, I mean, if you don’t really want them..
    Redheads are proof that god exists, and moreover that god loves me… or at least humor’s my existence.
    Why else would redheads exist?

    Jesus [email protected]
    No, not bullshit. Just science.

    Like


  36. Correlation is not causation;

    A mans (high) status (as in income, educational achievement or position in a bureaucracy) has in several studies been shown to be positively correlated with long life.

    The quality (youth, in this case) of a woman you marry will usually be higher if you are high status.

    The study shows only an expected correlation not causation. I wish it did though.

    Like


  37. Patrick:

    I would have to say that that makes a lot of sense. We always hear about the fact that there are apparently some big name movie stars in the closet for career reasons, but I’ve always wondered who exactly they could be. George Clooney, no. Mel Gibson, no. Tom Hanks, no. Tom Cruise, despite the rumours, definitely no. Brad Pitt, no. Matt Damon, no. Jackman though, definitely fits the bill.

    Almost all gay guys have “tells,” so the phenomena is probably not all that widespread, but a very few gay guys are masculine enough to pass. To go back a bit, the biggest closeted movie star of all, Rock Hudson, wasn’t obviously gay, even looking back now.

    Liked by 1 person


  38. @ maurice

    I think you missed my point in extremes…You’re right about those things being attractive…to a point…I am married to a guy slightly older than me…I wouldn’t want it any different. However, my experiences with this, even vicariously…I have 5 brothers…Believe me when I say I’ve seen almost every dating scenario…Alpha central…the 38 year old guy with the hot 20 year old is I’m sure very enjoyable for a while, they’ve been hangin’ out at my house…(as well as the strippers at Thanksgiving with ping pong ball expertise!!!! But that’s for another time.) then generation gap hits to some degree or a selfishness of youth…they don’t get the big picture….

    If what you want is brief interludes then fine….but otherwise it fails.

    Like


  39. @pez – uh, no. i’m happily married to a foreign woman 16 years my junior and it’s the best thing that happened to us both. (both of roissy’s posts today are close to home for me!)

    the plural of anecdote is not data, though, so i guess we can tell our own individual stories and still disagree in the end. i was just noting how your first reaction to the german survey roissy cited (and geez, we all know how sloppy and careless the GERMANS are) was to aggressively question it. that’s the sign of an uncomforatble truth hitting too close to home.

    Like


  40. Bhetti

    I have to marry a man that is at least 15 years older than me and SAVE HIS LIFE.

    You will be greatly rewarded in the after life, or before if he has money.

    Like


  41. You know Roissy lives and dies by studies and especially German studies.

    Like


  42. There is a historical reason for a young man to marry an older women: Economics. Lots of young men would pick up an older chick because she is already has money and she will cook for you to boot. After a few years she kicks the bucket and you start picking up younger women. I believe Mohammad’s first wife is a good example of this.

    Of course this was before women lived to be 90 years old and look like the living dead.

    Like


  43. Rabalder writes:

    “The study shows only an expected correlation not causation. I wish it did though.”

    Maybe you missed this salient point from the article:

    “The study examined deaths between 1990 and 2005 for the entire population of Denmark.”

    All the study showed was that the younger the wife, the longer the life, essentially. It didn’t bother to examine or control for affluence (as far as I can tell), which is why the commentary offers a couple explanations. Its possible that the benefit was only exhibited by the affluent among the Danish population, but I highly doubt that. It strikes me as quite likely that this phenomenon is exhibited along a cline.

    Denmark enjoys one of the world’s highest rates of economic equality, of course has a very high overall life expectancy as well as GDP per capita, and strong cultural homogeny. In such macrosocial conditions, the benefits of a much younger wife could possibly stand out more.

    Regardless of how wealthy or poor a man is, he should be with a much younger woman, for longevity’s sake. Its intuitive that the natural aging/death process would be stalled if a man’s aging seed still has a fertile womb to ply (and subsequently young children to protect) well past middle age. Clearly more detailed research is in order to determine this.

    If we can get a hold of the actual paper, we might be able to inform our speculation more.

    Like


  44. Kamal S.

    [email protected]

    I’ll take your redheads off your hand, after all, I mean, if you don’t really want them..

    ok – even trade

    One of my quality, used-up gingers for one of your Indian/Arab slices – provided they refrain from Old World placenta-eating and shave their moustache daily

    Like


  45. @ maurice,
    LOL, I wasn’t being aggressive…just my past geekdom of statistical reporting for investment banks popping out…Almost any data can be skewed to favorable results, I know, I’ve done it.

    I’m glad you’re happy with a young foreign lass…but I would still say it is the exception rather than the rule! 🙂

    Like


  46. I feel like damaged goods.

    Is this because of the STD? If it isn’t herpes, then no one will care as long as you get treatment and get yourself completely healthy “down there.” If it is herpes, then you have a bit more of a problem. Some guys will reject you just for that reason alone.

    But if it wasn’t due to you cheating or sleeping around, there are guys out there who will understand. If you truly are the good girl you say you are, a lot of guys will see themselves as the white knight who rescues the wronged woman.

    Like


  47. Younger Women Are Good For A Man’s Health

    this reinforces my view that my future wife is still in high school.

    Like


  48. I feel like damaged goods.

    depending of the STD, you are damaged goods. Tell us Kalliope, you were fine with his cheating until he got this STD stufF?

    Like


  49. Out of hundreds of couples whom I know personally, in only three is the man is significantly younger than the woman. Yet, on internet dating sites, at least a third of women older than 30 specify for their ideal partner a younger age range that is larger than their older age range, signifying that they prefer a younger man. Either a subculture exists of which I am unaware, or these women are delusional about their prospects.

    Like


  50. @pez – understood. now you have to tell us about the strippers with ping-pong-ball skills showing up for Thanksgiving. (you know you can’t just drop an image like that on this crowd and then walk away …!!)

    Like


  51. maurice

    “i’m happily married to a foreign woman 16 years my junior”

    Excellent work.

    Out of curiosity, which nationality is she?

    – MPM

    Like


  52. ’bout time that this type of confirmation is made, unsurprising as it is.

    However, they should have mentioned that only about 15% of women truly dig the older male in a manner compatible with a true LTR.

    Like


  53. again people considering the harem option. with the harem you’ll have to handle both women personal problems plus their problems with each other

    and you’ll have to witness the aging of both

    better the french option, to have a mistress.

    Like


  54. I suppose that any younger partner, male or female, will always be at a disadvantage (unless older partner is rich and very close to kicking the bucket). It really depends on the age difference too, and the personalities.

    Another study had shown that in general married men typically live longer than unmarried men, usually in more traditional relationships where the woman cares for the man’s health and home. Generally speaking, studies show that women often outlive same-age partners too.

    Of course, studies are just a guideline for how things can possibly go and should by no means be taken for 100% accuracy. It depends entirely on how the culture and society work.

    I do sincerely think you take studies a little too seriously. New studies are always arising and contradicting each other, and its pretty easy to skew data. I’d think that any intelligent person would be a little more skeptical about the latest science fad. But like many extremists, you seem pretty keen and satisfied with grabbing whatever valid-seeming study will support your personal suspicions. Once again, the so-called “intelligent” bloggers I see recommended disappoint me!

    Don’t bother replying with some snotty butthurt remark, I’ve seen enough here.

    Like


  55. Okay Maurice,

    Brazillian, hot, young, enormous breasts…my cousin had mentioned she was a dancer before they arrived….I asked in mixed company,age and otherwise, what her specialty was…I thought she would say ballet or something…but no, in her not so perfect English, she tried to say her talent was in how far and accurate she could shoot ping pong balls, then sat down to give a minor demonstration, when no one seemed to get it at first…It was quite funny, and I actually enjoyed her company more than my cousin’s. She knew who she was, and had no bones about earning alot of $$$$ while she could in that particular field while putting herself thru school.

    Like


  56. @GMan – Brazil. actually she was living in Miami when we started dating – long-distance at first.

    @LR – once again, your opinions are clear and strongly expressed, but you are *TOTALLY* missing the point of the post and how it fits in with the philosophy here. your insights are occasionally worth reading, but take a step back and think before you post. if you just say something that’s off-point, you’ll just get the usual torrents of abuse, which will degenerate into the usual thread about yourself and your life which nobody, yourself included, probably wants to see any more of. if you say something that is relevant to the theme and the post, you’ll help generate an interesting thread.

    to clarify, the point of the post is that older man/younger women result in better health and longer life for both – the underlying truth being that this is a natural state of affairs in human sexuality and psychology. this is because older men are more attractive to women, including younger women, because of their higher status, maturity, etc. which have very little to do with their looks. there is a strong ASYMMETRY between what men find attractive and women find attractive, on average, and that can be used by both sexes to generate attraction and happy relationships. that’s the WHOLE POINT of this damn blog. when you write stuff to the effect that this phenomenon does not exist, you come across as incredibly stupid – which you are clearly not.

    just think before you post –this is meant as friendly advice. i’m not a hater, unlike some who have clearly enjoyed cutting on you these past few weeks, but some of your posts just piss me off…! you can do better.

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  57. @pez – really? a demo in front of the whole extended family – a real one, or simulated? boy, that’s a family movie i’d like to see.

    btw, was this in the DC area? there’s a strip club i know where a lot of the dancers are brazilian and one of the dancers there (a couple of years ago by now) might actually have fit that bill…she was going to Montgomery College at the time.

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  58. More likely, an older man who is not able to attract a much younger wife unless he’s in very good health.

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  59. NYC area…Simulated show, but graphic none the less.

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  60. It has been known that the REALLY hot Brazilian “ëxotic dancers” went to Spain. Now that Spain is sinking, I wonder where they are going to.

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  61. @pez – too bad. about the simulated, i mean. that would have been quite something.

    @LR – OK, and i was not trying to insult you as i hope you understood, only commenting on the tendency of your posts to be somewhat off-point and ramble. the more you do that, the more abuse you are likely to get. for example, in your correction, you indicated that an older man would be unhappy with a younger woman only AFTER SHE HAS LEFT HIM. that has nothing to do with the post post and is off point. it’s your opinion – fair enough – but it has nothing to do with the topic or the survey on which it’s based, which has to do with longevity stats in stable relationships.

    think before you post…

    Like


  62. From Wikipedia on the glass shard thingy in Superman II:
    In his DVD commentary, Director Richard Donner refers to it as “the Zone of Silence”.

    Mercy – that’s what’s needed for the Lady.

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  63. It doesn’t actually matter if younger is healthier. Whatever a man finds most attractive which is legal, he should go after. There are 30 year olds who’re as ditzy and inconsistent as 15 year olds. It really is a matter of personal taste.

    The stats are there for decoration and not the point. You feel healthier and happier if you find someone you’re most attracted to and, judging by apparently wealthy and healthy men (although we don’t have the original paper so we can’t see if that variable was adjusted for), that’s younger women. Bitter pill, let us swallow it with the rest of life.

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  64. Lady – i have to ask: In roissy’s post did you perceive any references to yourself?

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  65. @bhetti- nice new pic. btw, what’s the deal with “corrupt”? a plural blog, with generally interesting posts that seem to be all over the place. how did you find these folks and what do they all have in ccommon..? just askin’.

    Like


  66. @ Hope & Maurice – thanks, beautiful responses. I think everyone is damaged goods in some way. Part of me just wants to become celibate and spend my life feeding orphans or something, but it’s hard to give up a dream I’ve had for so long. It just seems too humiliating to put myself out there for rejection if it’s a dealbreaker for most men.

    @Thursday & Gig – yup, it’s herpes. I had no idea he was cheating until I went in for my annual physical and turned up positive. Then when I confronted him he admitted he hit it raw with a random girl. He was devastated and wanted us to stay together, but it was just too big of a betrayal. If I hadn’t found out the hard way, I doubt he would’ve EVER told me.

    Like


  67. Kalliope–

    Ok, how about this…I’m 26 years old and single. I just ended a four year relationship after my boyfriend cheated on me and gave me an STD. Yes, it sucked.

    You don’t sound like damaged goods to me at all. In fact you sound rather innocent and lovely. If you’d presented yourself that way, with the same facts, even more guys here would see you that way, instead of “not as damaged as you think.”

    What other guys have said about the STD issue is right. AIDs is serious, but it’s very unlikely as an American woman not using needles or sleeping with bi men neither of which sounds at all like you that you’ve gotten it. Herpes will turn off some, but others will cope. The rest are cureable except HPV. That’s a pregnancy issue and an exaggerated one. Most people cure themselves of HPV if not the antibody markers for having had it within a couple of years. It’s also very widespread. So probably stop thinking about STDs the way you got one, as making you damaged goods. Come back with the specific one.

    As for the rest, in metro areas your competing with a lot of sluts and heart numbed, fell multiple times in love or no longer capable of it at a deep level women. A woman who’s divorced without kids, or coming off a 4 year long relationship with a man who turned cad, is relatively pure and UNDAMAGED in the things that matter, her capacity to love.

    Think of yourself that way. And project that. Because for the discerning that’s true.

    Now what’s your physical attractiveness on the 1-10 scale. Pictures are best but I don’t have one of the links at hand. So.

    10 = International class gorgeous. Rare.

    9 = Clearly beautiful, gorgeous. Sizzling hot.

    8 = Very very pretty, beautiful. Damn hot.

    7 = Clearly pretty. Hot.

    6 = Cute. Pretty. Or if pressed, fairly pretty.

    5 = Nice looking. Ok.

    4 = Decent. Ordinary. Not ugly.

    3 = Not pretty. Not really ugly.

    2 = Ugly.

    1 = Butt ugly. Hideous.

    Remember these are guys talking and telling the truth. E.g. two guys evaluating a girl neither is involved with.

    Like


  68. Kalliope —

    With herpes it’s important for you to educate them, i.e. to the fact that it’s only contageous turning outbreaks which you can tell you have. Don’t do that when first meeting or on a first date. Wait until he’s into you and trusts you some (but before herpes area, I’m assuming vaginal) sex.

    It’s important that he trust you about it.

    It will narrow the field for you some. I’m about honesty. But not so much as you’re fearing.

    Like


  69. @kalliope – no, the big H is not a deal breaker for a lot of people. It is for some, but not all. There are actually support groups and even dating networks for people who are “H-positive”, which may or may not be a place to start. might be useful for you to work through your current trauma in the near term, but in the long run there’s no reason to restrict yourself that way. what a horrible way to find out, btw – no wonder you’re traumatized.

    you have many years of life ahead of you and seem to have good values and intentions, so – go forth! enjoy the rest of your life! the sooner you move past what happened, the sooner you’ll find someone who values the things you have to offer.

    Like


  70. Offtopic apologies
    maurice: they found me, I add something that’s missing. We’re deliberately quite different on some levels. The commonality is I am in line with its goals, which pretty much is just the individual contributing to collective good and looking for ways to get past problems of modernity for both personal and collective wellbeing. ‘Course, this is in blog format, so it gets diluted with whatever each individual’s finding interesting and their ideas about this, but we’re collectively somewhat traditionalist/conservative if you need to label. The site’s quite old and has been through lots of evolution, so the readership’s an interesting bunch too with nihilistic roots and also several who’ve had a problem with me because of being non-white or non-atheist or ignorant or… something.

    All trying to find the answer to the eternal question: What’s the best way to live, here and now?

    Like


  71. “The point I was trying to make is that while I’m sure it makes them happier while IN the relationship, I doubt they will be “happier” in the end when the younger woman leaves them for a younger man.”

    Typical female who doesn’t understand attraction. Women are NOT men. And the sexes are NOT equal in their natures, behaviors, and motivations.

    Men select for youth and beauty, proxies for reproductive value, the ability to pop out a kid with good genes. Women select for dominance, the Alpha traits often discussed here which are proxies for the ability to protect the family while passing on those good Alpha genes.

    You wish men faced the same cold, harsh realities of aging as women, but they do not. An older man has no fear of losing a younger woman so long as he is an Alpha, natural or transformed by game.

    At 30 I gamed a 19 year old who was easily an 8. She dropped her beta boyfriend of one year like a hot potato and was into me to the point that I was worried about what she might do post breakup (she had too many issues for a LTR). She started talking about marriage before I cooled it off. I could have her at my house on a whim. In fact, the problem was getting her to not be around so much!

    Looking back on the relationship I have no question in my mind that I could have kept her until death due us part with game. My age didn’t mean shit to her. All she new was that I behaved in a dominant, confident fashion, and that I had higher value than the beta boy she dropped. And that made her soaking wet. Cocky funny would spread her legs faster than you could say “slut”.

    Feminism has condemned countless women to a life of lonely nights spent stroking cats. It is a lie that a woman can hold a younger man, a lie that a woman can marry late, and a lie that men face the same age related pressures. It is highly destructive to teach women that they can put off family for career, and there are countless used up sluts who have hit the wall to prove it. The few exceptions out there only prove the rules. Women have a “Use By” date stamped on their wombs, and lies cannot trump nature.

    Keep that in mind “princess” as you embrace the “polyandry” lifestyle that will ultimately leave you a shriveled, dried up, lonely hole.

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  72. I am a little confused as to this post in general. So when women date younger guys they are looking validation that they’re still attractive (supposedly) but when men do the same…. they’re not?

    ..Now I know it’s more common for men to have younger wives and such. I’m referring to dating a “much younger woman”…. for the short term that would be fine, but long term you are going to get dumped for some new dick no matter what way you look at it.

    Dumped for new dick?

    Actually, long term, the most successful marriages I’ve seen often have a 9-12 year age differential between the husband and wife.

    My father’s second marriage for example, his second wife was around 15 years younger, plenty of options on her plate, in her very early 30’s, highly motivated in her career, and generally too much for most lesser men to handle. Met my father and they enjoyed a very passionate almost 18 year relationship before he passed away.

    Lady Rain, we are all prone to generalizing our experiences and preferences onto others. You should consider the very real possibility that many, many, women may very well think much differently from you in these matters.

    For example your taste in younger extremely fit men with tattoos is rather atypical. Not to say that there are not women with your tastes, because there are millions. But it very well may not be quite the norm for women in your age group.

    Now, in these cases, the older men in question were not slops, rather they were guys who I would consider superior men in most cases.

    Like my dad, ran 7 miles a day into his 50s until he blew out his legs, intellectually very active, could kick my and my brother’s asses well into his early 50s. The biggest let-down my brothers and I ever experienced in our lives was in 2004, helping dad cut down a tree with a chain saw, and moving the logs around, and realizing that gray hair dad couldn’t lift the logs we were lifting. Freaked the hell out of us. It was like “whoa, dad must be getting old now…”

    And even still he could kick our asses, charm anyone he met white or black, put the fear of god into random people in public who pissed him off if an when he wanted to(he used his rage like a strategic weapon, highly selectively), and generally still manage to conduct himself like thrice the gentleman we would ever be.

    Most of the old guys with younger wives I’ve known were basically men at the top of their game well into old age. It is likely that the image of old guy you are thinking of is a balding couch potato. I agree, feeble men might get dumped ruthlessly.

    Real men probably wouldn’t.

    Re/Young men and older men and stamina. Frankly the research about about a man’s sexual peak at 15 is misunderstood by most people. Most men “at their peak” at 15 are at a narrow biological peak in which they tend to shoot their loads in 2.5 minutes after instinctive jackhammering, repeatedly over and over.

    Things are more complex and nuanced. Many guys I know at my age, unless they are total slobs or drink too much, or smote too much pot, can out think, out fuck, out smart, and out do, most typical American younger men. European men at younger ages tend to be a bit sharper, but only exceptional young guys over here are a match for a well refined older man. and these younger guys generally end up gravitating towards circles with older guys and learning from them, making them into dangerously refined and smooth dudes indeed..

    The older guys who can’t keep up are the ones who started going to pot at the age of 24 and were too stupid to wake up. And even then the curve can be corrected, if caught in time. Men can play catchup for certain biological reasons and remain highly sexually competitive to the majority of womankind, in a way that women generally cannot (generally, with exceptions)

    Most traditional cultures, this was a common belief in China, in Arabia, in India, realized that a man reached the peak of his powers at 40. Now of course this is a certain type of man, one whose efforts are aimed at a more qualitative axis of his life, not a quantitatve one.

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  73. I agree that there is a huge correllation / causation issue with this study. Obviously the type of man who is able to attract a woman 15 or 20 years younger than him is likely to be healthier and in better shape than his contemporaries. If a 40 year old guy decides he wants to start picking up on 25 year old girls, the first thing he’s going to do is start going to the gym and start cutting back on the nachos.

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  74. If I hadn’t found out the hard way, I doubt he would’ve EVER told me.

    That’s the way it is for a certain subtype of men. They will lie and keep secrets from others for a long, long time. It also happened to me. I was totally blindsided, not really by cheating (though there was an emotional affair I had zero clue about), but nonetheless the lies were kept alive for years.

    Keep your eyes open, and don’t blame yourself. Do work on yourself, because self-improvement is a worthwhile lifelong process. In the end, every ability you learn, every good habit you acquire, such as cooking or excising, make your life that much better.

    It just seems too humiliating to put myself out there for rejection if it’s a dealbreaker for most men.

    It’s not. Besides that, don’t worry about “looking” right now. Take care of yourself first. That means it’s okay to cry and be angry and depressed for a while. But don’t be too hard on yourself; be optimistic about your prospects. Things are not as bad as they seem. Your emotions are running high, but when you get through this, you will look back and realize that it has all been a good lesson.

    Think about your ex-boyfriend in an objective sense. Why did the relationship go on for four years without even an engagement? Was he actually committed to you, or was he just into you for the sex? Were you deeply in love with each other, or was it just convenient to be together? Really analyze and think about your past, learn from it, and try not to repeat the mistakes that you’ve made while young.

    If you want to keep an open eye for a new man, make a list of the qualities you would like in an “ideal” long-term mate. Be realistic, and only write down traits that you believe you can also fulfill yourself. For example, if you want a fit and attractive guy, you should be this way yourself. Be genuinely happy and comfortable with yourself, and you will more than likely attract a man who is on that same frequency.

    When you meet potentials, don’t get emotionally invested if there is no real connection. Do not let yourself become beholden to someone else’s desires. That means when a guy aggressively pursues you or flat-out rejects you, you should not let this affect your self-image. Reconnect with old friends and get closer to acquaintances who might have fallen off your radar while you were dedicating yourself to the relationship. Find a sense of self-worth outside of the context of romance.

    Know the “numbering” system guys use, and then forget about it. Different men like different body types, nationalities, etc. The person who said “some fake titties and bang away” is not the kind of man you’d be after, anyway. Some men are really into huge fake boobs while others really dig smaller ones. Work with what you’ve got. For long-term relationships which is what you are after, your person — your mind, your heart, and your soul — counts for much more than your body.

    Keep your heart open to love, but do not desperately seek it. Your life is yours to live. You have worth and wonder beyond your “usefulness” as a sex object and womb for producing children. Your external youth and beauty might fade with age, but if you cultivate your internal youth and beauty, these are the wellsprings that will stand the test of time.

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  75. Re: Older Women

    I was going to write an entire paragraph about how older women are more mature, but with the exception of Wellesley Queen, nearly every older woman who was a female friend was just as indecisive as the younger girls who hung out with me.

    Re: Kalliope

    My advice to you would be to find a nice beta, make him your platonic friend that keeps you company and props up your emotions, and find as many opportunities to have sex with an alpha. I’d suggest getting pregnant by an alpha with some money and good breeding characteristics. Then, you can be a single mother, and have the beta friend serve as friend who can assemble a crib, pick up diapers for you, or baby sit your kid when you need a break.

    if it’s herpes – nothing a little disclosure and care can’t handle

    I’d rather be alone than have sex with a girl who has herpes, even if she had high IQ, met my porn star needs, and liked trains. If you have herpes, one should have sex with other people who have herpes, but not with uninfected people. The last thing that I need to be freaked out over wondering if I’ll catch herpes and how much does Valtrex cost when one is uninsured.

    We replaced women with herpes with porn in 2002.

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  76. Hugh Jackman’s mother divorced his father and returned to England when Hugh was a young child. She left him behind in Australia. Anyways, this may explain the older broad thing.

    My wife is almost 14 years younger than me. I really don’t think about her leaving me for some younger guy. She’s more likely to leave me because I am prone to be an uncaring asshole.

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  77. kalliope

    At 26 years it is way to early to be thinking of cats. A failed relationship does not make you damaged goods. The STD only matters if it is not treatable/curable.

    You certainly do not sound like damaged goods, not even tainted, just mistreated.

    Don’t feel the need to rush into any decision either relationships or celibacy. Our bodies and minds have great power to heal themselves. And that is what you have to do, let yourself heal. Surround yourself with friends and things that you love.

    You sound like you have great values and would be a great catch. You will be fine.

    Good luck.

    Like


  78. on June 3, 2009 at 6:42 pm monohechomierda

    Remember, it’s not your age that’s important, but the age of the girl that your with.

    Like


  79. @ Hope – We were deeply in love. It went on without an engagement because we both felt we weren’t ready. I think he did have abstract intentions of marrying me, but there was also some ambivalence there that I was blind to because I loved him so much. I’m not the type of woman to fall in love halfway or stay with someone just for the sex – it’s all or nothing. It makes my emotional life much richer, but obviously opens me up to much deeper pain. You seem to be the same way. Also you are really an amazing, insightful person if your response here is indicative of your personality. May I ask how long it took to recover from the divorce, and how long you’ve been with this new man? Do you ever look back on your past with regret, or did it all seem necessary?

    @ Doug – It’s hard to give myself a “number” since I’m not a guy and not exactly an objective judge. Does it make a great difference in how men will handle this? I think if pressed I would say 7, maybe 7.5 when I make the effort. I did some modeling as a teenager, and people (even strangers) often tell me I’m attractive. I work out and take care of my health, which has made this an even bigger blow. I really like your advice about self-presentation. I know I’m a good woman but I’m afraid men will look at me and see “slut” regardless. Maybe it is too soon and I’m still too hurt by this to put a positive spin on it yet. Either way, thank you for the advice.

    @ David Alexander – Maybe I’m missing some hidden sarcasm, but your advice sounds horrible. Why would I want to be a single mom with a random beta man raising my child? Honestly I’d rather be a cat lady. And as for “only having sex with infected people”…how am I going to know who has it and who doesn’t? It’s not something that comes up in normal conversation and I’m not ready to walk around with a scarlet “H” on my blouse. I asked for advice about disclosure for this very reason.

    @ Maurice – you are a dear. Thanks for the advice and encouragement. Your hot foreign lady is lucky to have you.

    Sorry if I took the thread off-topic. As for the older woman/younger man thing, I was intrigued by Roissy’s quote, “women are wired to experience difficulty falling in love with younger men.” Is this a biological wiring and if so, which studies support this? Recently a 19-year-old bad boy type hit on me. He was hot and had game, but there was no appeal there because I knew it would be nothing more than a one night stand. A much younger man is biologically just as attractive as an older man (if not more so), but he doesn’t have the intellect, life experience or to hold my attention for long. It seems as though the biological imperative would be trumped by social status in this case.

    My younger brothers and their friends, on the other hand, are always talking about “older women” and how hot they are compared to girls their age. Granted they are talking about 25-30 year olds (and not 40+ cougars) but with them it seems like their status goes up if they score with an older woman. Any ideas why?

    Like


  80. Thursday —

    Cruise is gayer than a double heaping of Gay Claikman and Liberace. He’s gayer than gay, allegedly. Jackman? Jimmy Kimmel ran a clip of him on the View dancing around as an “ex-Man.”

    Cary Grant, gay. Allegedly. Travolta was caught kissing a dude straight on the lips. Gay. Allegedly. Scientology is full of (allegedly) gay guys trying to kill their gayness, getting blackmailed.
    ————-
    Kalliope — Seek medical advice. Since it is Herpes, you will of course face rejection by some guys, after you are healthy (perhaps therapy might also help) realize you have real strengths and advantages. You (if you are an attractive woman) can still get a good husband, but it’s more likely to be a “bargain” kind of guy, a guy that perhaps does not impress your friends but makes a good husband, a bit overweight maybe, or not dynamic socially, etc. The female advantage still holds for you, so keep positive!

    You are like a slightly dinged Ferrari. You might have ding. But you are still a Ferrari. As you get older, however, you change from a dinged Ferrari to a Mercedes, then a Lexus, and finally a Toyota. So time is critical.

    Ladies: this is EXACTLY why it’s crucial, even for a “good girl” who has only one partner at a time, and few if any lifetime, to carefully assess the nature of the man she’s with. You are particularly vulnerable to cheating, a guy who’s on the side with other girls or prostitutes (think Spitzer). It’s better to trade “down” IMHO on a partner who’s far less likely to cheat than to accept RISKS on the cheating for a more dominant guy.

    Sex is not something that should just “happen.” It should only happen after you’ve carefully assessed the guy, and know who and what he is to near certainty. You can’t afford to be taking those risks.

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  81. on June 3, 2009 at 7:23 pm Virginia Gentleman

    kalliope said:

    My younger brothers and their friends, on the other hand, are always talking about “older women” and how hot they are compared to girls their age. Granted they are talking about 25-30 year olds (and not 40+ cougars) but with them it seems like their status goes up if they score with an older woman. Any ideas why?

    I’ll hazard a guess: They’ve managed to do better than a clueless teenager at a party by catching someone who (from their standpoint) would be wiser and more experienced, someone who’s had time (and perhaps opportunity) to improve their personal appearance, through completed physical maturity and more readily available resources.

    At least, that’s the way I would try to sell it, if the situation called for it.

    By the way: DOBA, let’s have that address. We’ll plot away!

    Like


  82. on June 3, 2009 at 7:27 pm Steve Johnson

    “As for the older woman/younger man thing, I was intrigued by Roissy’s quote, “women are wired to experience difficulty falling in love with younger men.” Is this a biological wiring and if so, which studies support this?”

    Women care about basically two things in men:

    1) How much will he invest in our children? Some guy can not invest out of choice (he’s got a wife, he won’t commit, etc.) or not out of choice (he’s got nothing to invest because he’s dirt poor). Clearly women get it on with guys who will invest nothing in children so it brings us to…

    2) What quality are his genes? Ultra high quality genes? Girls will throw themselves at guys who’ve got it going on with no hesitation. This is where you see girls flip out; for example, girls will be pretty indifferent to looks even if the guy is good looking but if you find a guy who is super good looking they start acting the way the most beta guys around hot girls do.

    What does a younger guy have that an older guy doesn’t? Well, he can provide “protection” better. Of course, he’s got to stick around to do that and girls who go for young guys don’t tend to pick the guys who will stick around so that can’t be it.

    Younger guys are at a physical / athletic peak tho. If a woman is trying to judge genes and only pick out the strongest genes, she’s got a very good idea of who’s got the best genes by comparing guys who are at their best.

    Even this is trumped by the fact that if a guy is older and can compete with younger guys in physical areas, he’s shown signs of genetic superiority.

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  83. This post fills me with joy because it means my dear old Dad will be living longer! My parents have 14 years between them. I was raised to think this was not strange at all.

    Like


  84. I was lookin’ through the Puffington Host today, and ran across this, which makes my nuts retract into my abdomen:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lesley-m-m-blume/6-of-the-worlds-most-beau_b_209735.html

    Like


  85. on June 3, 2009 at 7:41 pm Tupac Chopra

    Lupo –

    That was a fucking horror show.

    Like


  86. Kalliope–

    I think if pressed I would say 7, maybe 7.5 when I make the effort. I did some modeling as a teenager, and people (even strangers) often tell me I’m attractive. I work out and take care of my health, which has made this an even bigger blow. I really like your advice about self-presentation. I know I’m a good woman but I’m afraid men will look at me and see “slut” regardless. Maybe it is too soon and I’m still too hurt by this to put a positive spin on it yet.

    Yes, looks make a tremendous difference to men. If you’d read here longer you’d realize that or anyway realize that everyone here agrees, but I think you’d also see how persuasive Roissy and to some extent others here on how much this is true. Granted they matter more for casual relationships than the serious one you’re looking for.

    So you’re good there. I suspect given your whole presentation that you’re NOT overstating your looks. It’s even possible your somewhat understating them. Possibly a low 8. But lets go with 7 or 7.5.

    What you should DEFINITELY be able to get is a higher beta that’s loyal and loving. Your chances of snagging a lesser alpha have gone down considerably. (Lesser alphas can pull 7’s and maybe possibly 8’s in clubs for casual. Higher betas can’t there except by an act of god, but can get 7’s as gf’s and pick them up in less competitive at any given moment settings – e.g. workplace, activities, house parties, etc.

    Higher betas can have very good or great jobs, including doctors, lawyers, executives and so on. Not likely major, major power players there or clearly headed there at the time of your meeting them (which would tend to kick them up to lesser alpha at least), but very good jobs. Or very good looking without being edgy without having such a great job. I have a feeling that you’d be very happy with the right sort of higher beta for you. (The beta means he can’t get skads of sluts to f*ck him quickly and easily.)

    If you give me more feedback or questions, I can feed you more valuable advice, I say modestly.

    However, the good news is it sounds to me like you’re

    Like


  87. Kalliope,

    You are too hard on yourself. It sounds like your biggest problem right now is getting your internal emotional state and self-confidence together.

    As long as you don’t have AIDS, STDs aren’t that big of a deal. Even herpes is very common and does not produce symptoms in most carriers. Even if you do have an occasional outbreak, medicines like Valtrex can make it almost never happen.

    It’s not something that I’d mess with, but I’m a nascent player with options. My goal is to enjoy a steady stream of women and then marry someone 15 years my junior when I am in my mid-30s. You would make a nice catch for a nice beta who is a good personality match for you.

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  88. [email protected]

    ” Do work on yourself, because self-improvement is a worthwhile lifelong process. In the end, every ability you learn, every good habit you acquire, such as cooking or excising, make your life that much better.”

    I agree, it’s about self-cultivation.
    This is the only way any of us keep growing, really. And after tragedy, after heartbreak, expanding our interests, our skills, learning and seeing new things can help heal us. Make you more inwardly attractive for people. Plus it puts you in contact with other people. And self-cultivation in all cases enobles a person.

    Like


  89. David [email protected]

    My advice to you would be to find a nice beta, make him your platonic friend that keeps you company and props up your emotions, and find as many opportunities to have sex with an alpha. I’d suggest getting pregnant by an alpha with some money and good breeding characteristics. Then, you can be a single mother, and have the beta friend serve as friend who can assemble a crib, pick up diapers for you, or baby sit your kid when you need a break.

    Good God man, with all due respect that is just about the worst, most damaging, advice I have ever seen anyone give in my entire life.

    She’d be better off just marrying that “nice beta”. Much better off, she seems like the type of girl who has sweet and loving instincts and has very few miles on her. I have no doubt that if she finds an attractive “nice beta” with some backbone to him, the two of them can find much happiness together.

    Counseling her to a future of multiple pump and dumps is just about the most inane, obscurantist, passive aggressive, way to drive her into early cat girl-dom.

    That’s mean man. Just simply mean.

    I’d rather be alone than have sex with a girl who has herpes, even if she had high IQ, met my porn star needs, and liked trains….

    That’s what condoms are for, that and having some understanding when an outbreak occurs.

    I swear by God most high, reading your advice hurt my head and is making me wince. Coffee isn’t strong enough for it. DA you might have driven me to Gin tonight.

    I blame you for any future inebriation. Anything to erase the memory…

    Like


  90. Younger woman exert a soothing balm to a man’s soul that cannot be explained by appeal to rationality. Gawd, bring it on. If happiness leads to a longer life, and they say it does, a younger woman certainly can’t hurt.

    And yes, I think that women have been lied to about the benefits of delaying marriage and childbirth. But, as I think about our world, I realize that almost everything we are told or read in the newspaper, or in a standard book on the subject, or told to us by our parents, is a lie to a certain extent, sometimes a complete lie.

    Imagine, almost everything you think you know is a lie. Only what you have experienced directly or cross checked extensively, can you believe.

    This is why I come to this blog. Roissy blows away many of the lies that have confounded me in the past. (Yes, I cross check Roissy’s stuff, too.)

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  91. on June 3, 2009 at 8:56 pm David on ipod

    I have driven a man to gin. I think I am capable of worse things.

    Regardless it makes no sense for her to get entangled with some chump beta male that she will eventually have contempt for. She should maximize her beauty and it to secure excellent sexual experiences and then embark on single motherhood with a child that will love her.

    As for her herpes, if you need to have a condom to have sex in an LTR, it’s pointless, and one may as well go find girls at the club and have sex with them. There is no understanding about herpes given that her outbreak can put me in the pool of damned and unwanted.

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  92. on June 3, 2009 at 9:07 pm Richard Gozinya

    [i]Lupo –

    That was a fucking horror show.[/i]

    JAY-SUS
    Is the Puffington Host selling cat food for revenue these days? Deranged cat women are the only audience I can come up with for that piece.

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  93. “the pool of damned and unwanted”

    David – you’ve been doing laps in that pool since i’ve been reading this blog.

    Like


  94. I’ve always thought it makes sense for young woman-older man. And I’ve always wanted to be with an older man, 5-10 years older. Some issues I have:

    – Some guys don’t look their age! I’ve accepted dates from guys who I thought were 30+ who turned out to be mid-late 20s. Since that’s close to my age it’s disappointing…

    – Where are the much older men and why don’t more of them ask me out? I rarely get asked out by older guys (5-10 years older). Are they out at more upscale clubs/bars or something? I hardly do the club/bar scene, and when I do I’m usually with a guy (who’s close to my age). And I really don’t want to go out alone…Also why don’t older guys in like Starbucks ask me out like younger guys do? I don’t get it… I get asked out fairly often but by guys close to my age.

    – Guys my age tend to think I am younger than I really am! Seeming younger would be awesome if it’s true, but isn’t that kind of confusing to the guys – maybe they think there is the 5 year gap when they ask me out? Still, why aren’t the guys 10 years older asking me out?

    **Toughest issue: what if I’m really into a guy who turns out to be my age or even younger by a year or two? Should I drop him even though he’s great and he’s treating me well? This has been a big issue for me. I get insecure knowing he may leave me some day for some one younger… even when he’s telling me how great I am and even using the L-O-V-E word. **

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  95. One more issue:

    – Some older guys are suuuuuuuuper boring and/or creepy. This tends to be true of the guys who maybe peaked their professional success at 30 and are not really going further beyond that in the rest of their 30s. How can I get myself to like a super boring and/or creepy guy who is the right age? I try really hard to focus on their good qualities and even to force myself to like them! I try to hypnotize myself…. But it seems like a lot of the good guys (who may be beta but have energy and a life) get taken up in their late 20s.

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  96. Kamal, don’t sweat it brotha, *no one listens to Dave Alex* nor takes him seriously. Remember when I asked him if whether he got any new converts to his way of life? The answer: NONE.

    Dave Alex is a Pity Party of One.

    As it should be.

    A Man who can’t even get laid on the regular has absolutely no business dispensing advice to anybody.

    O

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  97. Kalliope:

    On behalf of all decent men everywhere, I would like to apologize for the existence of David Alexander. That was creepy advice.

    You will have a tougher time of it on the dating market, but all is not lost, and you shouldn’t just restrict yourself to others who are h-positive. And your situation is such that it will be partially offset by the fact that a lot of men love to rescue a damsel in distress. Quality men are going to test you out a bit more though to see if you really are the good girl done wrong. Don’t be offended by that. Again, all is not lost.

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  98. Some older guys are suuuuuuuuper boring and/or creepy.

    This reminds me of the number one rule for dating younger women:

    1. Be fun!

    The others are like unto it:

    2. Have a real job (though pay doesn’t matter that much).

    3. Don’t be needy.

    4. Stay in shape.

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  99. But it seems like a lot of the good guys (who may be beta but have energy and a life) get taken up in their late 20s.

    As a general rule, for both sexes, the good ones get snapped up first. This is doubly true in smaller religious communities where you can’t have sex before marriage. There are some sad sack losers (male and female) in 30s singles groups at churches. 😦

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  100. @Doug – I think the rest of your post cut off. Regardless, I like what you’re saying. I don’t think I was ever in the race for alphas anyway; first, because I’m not a 9 or 10, and also because I’m not looking for a casual/pump-and-dump scenario. The “higher beta” does sound like a good choice, but I’m not attracted to weak men (being more submissive myself.) He would have to have some grit for me to admire and respect him. So I guess my question to you is, where is the best place to find such men? I’m afraid of being cheated on again, as obviously my instincts were not as sharp as I thought. I have a tendency to go with my heart, and it usually serves me well but in this case it screwed me over. How can a girl maximize her ability to screen for men of quality and values?

    @Kamal S. – Enjoy your gin, but I wasn’t going to take David’s advice anyway. He is speaking from his own insecurity rather than any desire to help. I have no interest in either casual sex with alphas or single motherhood, which I thought I made clear. Reading back I see he is voluntarily celibate and prefers porn to women anyway, which renders his advice moot. I won’t be taking advice on my sexual market value from someone who isn’t even involved with it.

    @Jackson – honey, be careful. I know you’re saying herpes is “not something you’d mess with”, but I wouldn’t have messed with it either and here I am now. 1 in 5 women are infected, and the rate is probably higher in the type of women susceptible to alpha players. If you’re really getting a steady stream of women, some of them ARE infected and condoms don’t always protect against outbreaks. Also, men are much likelier to become carriers without any outbreaks, so you may get it without knowing. I’m not trying to scare you, just telling you to be careful. I would hate to see anyone else dealing with what I’m going through.

    Overall, this is a great blog with some wonderfully intelligent people.

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  101. Kalliope —

    That’s what condoms are for, that and having some understanding when an outbreak occurs.

    I completely endorse everything Kamal said in his post this quote is from, which as you know you can use find on some phase within it to jump to the post.

    As well when you do marry he may very well cease to feel any need to continue using condoms, if you use another method of birth control (or of course looking to conceive). This is aside from the fact that if you genuinely can’t tell after education that an outbreak is occurring, the only big downside to most (all?) kinds of genital herpes is that it’s a scarlet letter to other lovers. If you are committed to each other for good and neither of you is going anywhere, what’s the big deal? In a way it becomes more like an old fashioned marriage in some respects. The disincentives to break up are a lot larger, particularly yours (unless and until he contracts).

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  102. kalliope- thanks for posting here about your situation. Hopefully someone will take something from what you’ve posted.

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  103. @ Thursday – thank you dear, like I said I wasn’t going to take his advice anyway as it was bizarre and inappropriate. And I knew that some guys would reject me for this, it’s only fair. I might’ve rejected a guy for the same thing in the past. It’s encouraging to know I still have a chance, and I’ll certainly be more careful in the future. I will stop browsing the SPCA website for cat listings now 🙂

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  104. On behalf of all decent men everywhere, I would like to apologize for the existence of David Alexander. That was creepy advice.

    Yes, we should encourage her to find a nice little beta to infect with herpes and ruin his life too, right when she dumps him? Given that her herpes is basically going to scare off any quality man with options, she may as well maximize her beauty and use it to extract some great sex from alpha males instead of wasting her vagina away with some loser that she’s incapable of loving, and spends her mental energies creating a web of lies to prop up her relationship.

    My advice isn’t creepy or horrible, but prudent for protecting her from loser males and loser males from her. Oh, no wait, there’s a Whiskyist undercurrent that seeks to enslave and entrap beta males. Fucking pricks.

    how am I going to know who has it and who doesn’t?

    Don’t they have message boards and groups for that?

    being more submissive myself.

    Read: “being more useless myself”

    Reading back I see he is voluntarily celibate and prefers porn to women anyway, which renders his advice moot.

    Freaks are the ones who can spot their fellow freaks hiding in society.

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  105. kalliope,
    sorry to hear about you getting genital herpes… someone up thread said that you can only transmit during an outbreak… this is not true.. you can have asymptomatic shedding of the cells which infect a partner… however acyclovir / valtrex suppress the outbreaks when its extremely contagious along with the asymptomatic shedding… the suppression therapy is very effective… google herpes transmission rates if you’re into digesting scientific type papers

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  106. You are a sad person, David. Your insecurity and self-loathing seeps out of your writing. At the end of the day I’m still me, with or without a disease. Your disease is in your soul and that’s much harder to treat. I don’t know if you’ve always been this way or if some awful woman made you like this. Either way I feel sorry for you, and think you are making the right decision to stay away from women.

    Thanks for the medical advice, turtle. And thanks to everyone else for the time and advice. It’s great to find a place where the level of discourse is so high.

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  107. On herpes-

    never had either one…. but isn’t hsv-1 (cold sores) actually worse than hsv-2? hsv1 invades your brain and if you have the apoe4 gene is strongly correlated with dementia/alzheimers. my understanding is hsv-2 hurts your willy really bad for a couple times a year and then kind of fades.

    Don’t get me wrong – both probably suck ass… but i’m not so sure it’s the end of the world.

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  108. > But it seems like a lot of the good guys (who may be
    > beta but have energy and a life) get taken up in their
    > late 20s.

    All the good ones are married. If a chick is 30 and never been married, then she’s probably half nuts. Better to cheat with a married chick that’s over 30 than bang one that’s never been married.

    Same is probably true for many guys – unless they’ve figured out (like many of the ones here) that marriage is for suckers.

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  109. You are a sad person, David.

    David’s beta male penalty brake application has engaged, so he’ll feel sorry about ranting on a girl who feels depressed and may have an STD. If somebody had said similar things to his non-date, he’d feel upset, so it makes no sense for him to say what he wrote above. 😦

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  110. It’s ok David. I understand. Life is tough and makes no sense sometimes. 😦

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  111. It’s ok David. I understand. Life is tough and makes no sense sometimes. 😦
    Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!

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  112. @ kalliope: Life is only tough and doesn’t make sense because you have everything wrong. Your premises are faulty and therefore the way you live your life is wrong. You do A, expecting B to happen and instead get C. You should be doing D to get B, but you’ve been told all your life that doing D is wrong, so it makes life seem hard and confusing. Spend more time on blogs like this and searching for the truth and eventually the beautiful simplicity of it all will hit you.

    Don’t do what DA does, which is whinge about the conclusions, but keep following the same premises, expecting it somehow to turn out differently the hundredth time around.

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  113. “Life is only tough and doesn’t make sense because you have everything wrong. Your premises are faulty and therefore the way you live your life is wrong.”

    Can you explain this? Which of my premises are faulty?

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  114. Kalliope,

    I know if I become a successful player, I’ll be at risk for some kind of STD. As long as it ain’t the HIV, I’ll deal with it and move on. If I am a successful player, I’m sure by that point I will have developed the self-confidence to not let my self-worth be wrecked by a skin infection.

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  115. By the way, does Roissy have herpes yet? Given his sexual history, one would think there is a pretty good chance.

    It seems to me that from an evolutionary perspective, having sex with birth control is essentially the same as masturbation. Except that masturbation carries no risk of contracting herpes.

    If Roissy has fathered a lot of children, then maybe he has something to be proud of. Otherwise, he’s just pursuing a fetish which is risky for himself and others.

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  116. I am going to bull shit on your story.
    Your man was a dirty dog an alpha through and through.

    He didn’t just fuck one girl raw dog and catch herpes- with just that ONE indiscretion.
    What are the odds that one random fucking without a condom would give him herpes?

    No!
    I believe he was cheating on you- and he cheated, and cheated on you many times- and he did it RAW DOG- then he came home and fucked you raw dog with that same dirty dick!

    He had to be a great liar (pure alpha asshole) to keep this from you- he never loved you- at least not in the way you thought.

    You think just because you are a 7- that you are better than dating a loving and devoted beta- just because!
    Fuck that!

    Every day that I read this blog I begin to realize more and more just how fucked up the situation out there really is.

    Since I am still beta I will say this: you fucked the bad boy alpha over the nice betas and he gave you herpes- somewhere in me I still felt bad for you when I read your tale- now though I think on some level you brought this upon yourself for dating the jerk.
    Date the ass, date the jerk, fuck the bad boy- and you will reap what you sow.

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  117. I detect a lot of… bitterness floating in the air.

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  118. Ok, I think you’re just baiting me…but I’ll bite, for now.

    “What are the odds that one random fucking without a condom would give him herpes?”

    Of course it’s possible. And of course he may have been lying when he said it was only once, but…what difference does that make now? What’s done is done.

    “He had to be a great liar (pure alpha asshole) to keep this from you- he never loved you- at least not in the way you thought.”

    He did love me. And he wasn’t an alpha asshole, at least not in the four years we were together. As I said above, he was maybe a bit immature and had some ambivalence about our future, but I remained blind to that because I was in love. Have you ever been in love, really? It makes fools out of otherwise rational people, and in this case I was the fool.

    “You think just because you are a 7- that you are better than dating a loving and devoted beta- just because! Fuck that!”

    Where did I ever state or even imply that? I think you’re projecting your own issues with women onto me. I’m a monogamous girl looking for a husband, so asshole player alpha types have never appealed to me. My boyfriend was quite loving and devoted during our time together. It’s possible he was hiding his true dirty dog nature the whole time, but it seems a difficult ruse to uphold for four years of cohabitation. It’s more likely he was unsure about us staying together and rather than discuss that with me, made an impulsive mistake. I am already paying for this mistake, so the meanness is unnecessary. We don’t live in a black-and-white cartoon world, and sometimes betas cheat too if conditions are right.

    You know very little about me to be making these massive character judgments. I didn’t come here for pity OR abuse, just advice on what to do in this difficult situation. I got excellent advice from Hope, Doug, Whiskey, Thursday, Maurice and others. Your bitter comments reveal a lot more about yourself than they do about me.

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  119. “The “higher beta” does sound like a good choice, but I’m not attracted to weak men (being more submissive myself.) He would have to have some grit for me to admire and respect him. So I guess my question to you is, where is the best place to find such men? I’m afraid of being cheated on again, as obviously my instincts were not as sharp as I thought. I have a tendency to go with my heart, and it usually serves me well but in this case it screwed me over. How can a girl maximize her ability to screen for men of quality and values?”

    You don’t want a beta- no matter how loving, how devoted; even if the beta was willing to take you with your disease- you still wouldn’t want him!

    Check yourself, before you wreck yourself!
    Even now you defend the alpha dick!

    You tell us
    “he did love me”
    “No no- he only cheated “ONCE!” And that one time he happened to catch herpes!”
    “But he is so so sorry about that!”

    You sound like the battered wife that is defending and excusing her man.
    In other words you were a slave to the alpha cock! And even now you defend it.

    Check yourself, before you wreck yourself!

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  120. By definition, battered wives return again and again to their abusers. I immediately ended the relationship once I learned of the cheating. I came here for advice on how not to repeat my mistake, and I got it – from people much more insightful than you. I’m sorry you’re an angry beta male who’s been treated badly by women, but I didn’t do that to you so there’s no reason to take it out on me. If there’s any constructive advice hidden beneath your attack, thanks for that at least.

    Rant on if you like, but I’m done.

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  121. I’m afraid of being cheated on again, as obviously my instincts were not as sharp as I thought. I have a tendency to go with my heart, and it usually serves me well but in this case it screwed me over. How can a girl maximize her ability to screen for men of quality and values?

    Fear is the mind-killer. You must face your fear before it overtakes you and consumes you. Recognize that betrayals are part of the world, as are pain, suffering, and negativity. You can filter for good people and strive to be a good one yourself, but you can never be completely sure, and you, too, can sometimes also falter.

    If you want a man of quality and upstanding character, look at what he does, not what he says. If his actions are not congruent with his words, then you know that he is capable of being a liar. I missed those signs when I was younger. Often when people lie they justify it to themselves, because they have a “good excuse” or they don’t want to “hurt” someone else. Screw that. Find a man who is honest and open above all else.

    Look for small things. They add up. For example, my ex-husband told me played the guitar, and I believed him. I never saw him pick up a guitar in the 10 years I’d known him. My current man — his guitar is sitting not more than 10 feet away from me. He composed his own scores and had performed in front of audiences when he was younger. His mother apparently jokingly said, “I never thought I would have a son who has his week ruined when he breaks a nail (to pluck the guitar).”

    @ Hope – We were deeply in love. It went on without an engagement because we both felt we weren’t ready. I think he did have abstract intentions of marrying me, but there was also some ambivalence there that I was blind to because I loved him so much. I’m not the type of woman to fall in love halfway or stay with someone just for the sex – it’s all or nothing. It makes my emotional life much richer, but obviously opens me up to much deeper pain. You seem to be the same way. Also you are really an amazing, insightful person if your response here is indicative of your personality. May I ask how long it took to recover from the divorce, and how long you’ve been with this new man? Do you ever look back on your past with regret, or did it all seem necessary?

    Like you I also went with my “heart,” and I ignored sound advice from many around me. Your ability to love deeply could be something to be taken advantage of by someone else. I am not suggesting that you were the one who stayed with him just for the sex or halfway into it, but that he was the one who was not as committed to you. A truly emotionally committed man would not have strayed and certainly would not have lied about it.

    Marriage is not something you need to be “ready” for — if you are living together, sleeping together, supporting each other morally, and have entangled finances and so on, you’re already living a “trial” marriage. I had lived with my ex for 7 years before I actually married him, and the marriage lasted a little over a year. Truthfully there was not much difference between the two, except for the legal complications and the different way that others look at you.

    It sounds like you are still in that stage of “needing” a man to love and love you. You are upset by what has happened to you because you feel like your “worth” to men has been lowered. That’s somewhat how I felt when I got divorced, because I thought, who would want to be with a divorced woman?

    But it was fear that kept me from leaving my ex and moving out in the first place. My ex was also loving and devoted, but he was not right for me. He also wanted to hold me down and chain me to him, rather than focus on that. He had told me things like “Who else would love you like I do? All the other guys would cheat you and leave you when you’re older.” Reading the stuff on Roissy’s blog didn’t really help, because I thought most men thought this way.

    In my opinion, your ex did not make an impulsive mistake. Nobody just goes out and have sex “impulsively.” There is a very specific series of steps a man has to go through in order to bed a woman. He has to seduce her, pursue her, and lie in one way or another if he is already in a relationship. No woman simply falls into a man’s arms willy nilly. You say that “betas cheat too if conditions are right.” This guy created those conditions — the conditions did not simply “happen.”

    I tell you this because I was someone who emotionally strayed quite often, especially in my teenage days with my ex (I met him when I was 15 and he was 21). I knew that he and I were not right for each other. We fought all the time, had disagreements over very fundamental things, and even spiritually we were incompatible. I hated his way of mysticism and how he kept trying to convert me to his world view.

    I’m not saying this to excuse my behavior or his behavior, but it could very well be that he was too weak to leave you. My ex and I broke up and got back together many times, and that should have been a warning sign to me, but I again ignored it. By the time I asked for the divorce, I knew that the relationship had been over three years ago. I stayed with him because I was weak.

    When I finally moved out, I realized just how strong I could actually be. At first, as a newly “single” woman, I looked online on some dating sites and found a bunch of very uninspiring men. Some of them believe they can just buy their way into a girl’s pants, and some believe they are god’s gift to women despite being mediocre, and some believe playing various games would be their ticket to success. Soon I decided looking for romance was silly, and I started looking for friends, both male and female. Because I started opening myself in that way, I struck up a friendship with a man that I had known for a bit before I actually moved out.

    He turned out to be a lot more than I expected. We started out as friends, and that friendship caught on fire. The flames progressed so quickly that neither of us could have predicted it. We are in love with each other, but it is not an unhealthy relationship like the previous times I “fell in love.” We have been together for about 3 months now. We are interested in similar things, we are both self-aware and know that we must constantly strive to improve ourselves, and most importantly we communicate. We also have not yelled at each other a single time.

    P.S. Don’t bother interacting with people who are insulting, selfish and mean. Ignoring them is the best policy. They want to provoke you and make you respond. Don’t give them the attention they crave. There are many men out there who are “true alphas,” who do not feel the need to put others down, who are uplifting, inspiring and positive, rather than demotivating, petty and negative. They are out there, believe me. 🙂

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  122. Have you been following the exploits of Silvio Berlusconi lately?

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article6418583.ece

    He is dating an 18 year old (denies it casually, but is likely true and part of a looong string of very young flings). He now wants to offer her a seat in the European parliament.

    Alpha?

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  123. Funny how it’s okay for younger women to date older men but once it goes the other way people get uncomfortable and start muttering about “Cougars.” Look it’s very simple, younger men are great for the same reason that younger women are great: less baggage, open hearts, better bodies and after that it all comes down to getting along. And here’s the thing, I wouldn’t have an opinion on this and know for sure you’re wrong about older women-younger men’s abilities to love each other if I didn’t experience it for myself. So, just respectfully disagreeing on that.

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  124. @ kalliope: Oh you are a woman? I thought you were another DA-like beta. Ignore what I said about life only being difficult and not making sense; it doesn’t apply to you.

    @ Lisa: Try reading some of the other comments before posting.

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  125. This young wife thing is not entirely risk-free. In the XIX century one of my ancestors married a woman 30 years his junior. A year later he was killed in a bar fight by his young farmhand who also happened to be her lover. Still worth giving it a shot, though a 30 year difference is pushing your luck.

    The craziest young girl I ever dated had the same last name as that ancestor. Perhaps a very distant cousin of mine?

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  126. My girlfriends are 16 and 17 years younger than, which makes me worry that I’m slipping. I did meet one when she was 24, which is reasonable, but the 2nd was already a late blooming 27 when I accepted her into the fold. Makes a man wonder about maintaining edge.

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  127. “Funny how it’s okay for younger women to date older men but once it goes the other way people get uncomfortable and start muttering about “Cougars.”

    (sigh…)
    I don’t think that you are getting the point. And that is a tragic thing.

    It is not funny, really. It’s irrelevant whether you or I or anyone think that it is a funny double standard.

    In the mass, aggregate, by and large, what Roissy wrote on this particular subject is factually correct. Whether it should, or should not, be correct is irrelevant.

    Many who get hung up on the fairness or not of certain double standards miss two points.

    – Such double standards exist

    – That they exist illustrates profound things about human nature.

    I’ve dated older women, and depending on the one it is entirely possible that I could again. The first serious relationship I was ever in was with an older woman. I find many things charming about older women with experience and maturity.

    That said I have a clear preference for women a bit younger than me, have since the 10th grade, it is something that is pre-rational, intensely strong, and seems innate to my character. My strongest physical response is to women 10 years my junior.

    And the weird thing is that they older I get, the more they respond to me. I’ve found out that quite a few of my kid brother’s friends have crushes on me. In many cases these are girls I had an initial strong gut level erotic response to when I met them in social scenes but chose not to followup on because of their youth and the fact that they are in, well, my kid brother’s circle.

    Imagine my surprise when they start to pay inordinate attention to me and I start to hear multiple rumors of their affection for me. Odd. I couldn’t figure it out at first, but then it clicked.

    Back when I worked at a couple resturants, I can’t tell you how many of the 16, 17, and 18 year old hostesses on the staff had a huge thing for me, and the ladies over 37. It was like, no middle ground. Dangerously young girls want me, dangerously old divorcees want me, but no one my age. Bwaaa haaa haaa.. 😦

    I didn’t figure out why for years though.

    Most men, and most women, I maintain, are like this. The ones with a clear preference for older women / younger men are in a minority. Our society stigmatizes excessive age poaching, but in social circles in which that conditioning is less relevant the natural order emerges.

    Socially, genetically, biologically there is more of an upside for both parties for younger women to mate with older man, than for younger men to mate with older women, and while there certainly are many younger men who would mate with older women – through history it’s been the exception to the rule (one good historical example of this exception was Islam’s Prophet Muhammad, whose first wife was much older than he, and who also after her death married a few older co-wives. Most of his later wives however were considerably younger)

    The rules of human nature cannot be observed from the behavior of minority outliers.

    -Women who prefer men younger than they are exceptions.

    -Men who prefer women older than they are exceptions.

    -Most people fall on a rough spectrum inclining towards one end or another, in general most women I’ve seen seem to end up with guys a little older than they, and vice versa. In liberal professional and academic circles there seems to be more age equality in the dating, maybe a 2 year difference at best, but it is possible this is simply out of personal ideology and not reflecting true innate desires.

    The extreme ends are statistical exceptions, outliers. The assumption that this is for social conditioning reasons is simply wishful thinking. They can be observed in multiple cultures and appear to be a norm of human nature. Don’t believe me, go to a local university library and do the research in the cultural anthropology and sociology sections . You will find exceptions to this of course. You will also note that these exceptions are, well, exceptional and in no way the norm.

    There are many double standards that I personally do not happen to like. When they appear to be norms of human nature the realization that they possess some sort of usefulness and utility in the grand scheme dawns on me.

    Your genes and my genes do not care about “well that’s a funny and unfair double standard” they do what they do and compel us to do what we do, and intellect, cultural conditioning, can and do trump them but our innate instinctual urges always remain below the surface, waiting.

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  128. Even MSN (sort of) gets it

    Though the language has a “shaming” quality (e.g., ” Ego Trippin’,” “Men Are Pigs”).

    Still it is better than the usual cougars will steal your 20-something man article.

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  129. The rare older woman-younger man pairing is like a lab experiment gone wrong. It violates the natural order of things, and leaves its practitioners emotionally twisted and in a constant mental race to hyperrationalize their subpar mate choice.

    Yes. Last year, I picked up my Argentine Spanish professor. She was 7 years older than me. Surprisingly, it became a relationship. Unsurprisingly, it failed catastrophically.

    How’s that song go, again? “I can’t be with a woman who gets drunker than me.” There’s a verisimilitude in there somewhere, if you know where to look.

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  130. I am a 42 year old, single female. Apparently very attractive! Due to a very healthy, daily sport regime, no smoking, drinking, or drugs I would get a good 7, often a good 8!

    I am single because, unlike most, I deliberately chose not to be with men who wanted to do the family thing. I don’t have hang-ups it is just something I have never aspired to. My dream was/is to pursue a creative career. I have gone back to college to do a BA at 30 and an MA again at 41. I never let age be a controlling factor in my life.

    In relationships I was a very late bloomer. All of my boyfreinds were between 7 to 11 years younger than myself. I’ve dumped and been dumped. I have had the men I wanted and they also wanted me…even if it was not forever.

    Any creative career comes with big highs and lows but one just does not give up. What I am trying to say is…that I am still not financially very stable.This probably does not put me in the category of ‘Cougar’ woman…as they all appear to be finacially very successful.

    O.K..so here is my point…or my question

    According to your statistics I have absolutely NO hope of having a successful relationship with a young, dynamic man! So, given that I am still very attracted to younger men, should I try to change this? Are all my relationships doomed for failure?…I would honestly like to know, what kind of man, alpha or beta, is going to be interested in me??

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  131. on July 4, 2009 at 4:13 pm Willard Libby

    JuJu – I am a 42 year old, single female. Apparently very attractive!

    Nope. Maybe to 70 year old White guys, Latino illegal aliens or black ex cons.

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  132. on July 4, 2009 at 4:40 pm Gunslingergregi

    JuJu,
    I’ll take ya on but your gonna have to work 84 hours a week and give me half.

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  133. How old are you before I consider it???

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  134. […] Younger Women Are Good For A Man’s Health « Roissy in DC […]

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  135. I can see that they do not publish every women’s comment’s, because alot of women have published comments. I am with a man 15 years younger than me and I am 45, and I look better than any twenty year Old. and I am now pregnant with his child. I have been with him for 10 years, and there is no one on this page that can tell me he will want a younger woman. This is all B/S because women have turned the tables on men, and they are so threatened. It is not to be a surprise, it is something I can say! To you men! I can promise, you are all probably, overweight, low class, have no money, no compasion, and just think with you dick! YOU would never have a chance with a beautiful young woman as my self! I always have dated younger men, and have felt this desire all my life. so please, know this everyone does not see through your little chat group. So go on wishing for and hoping to date younger, much younger, but in reality, you are still old perverts. This does not still change that you are OLD! Move over times are changing and will continue to change!

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  136. No renee only feminist blogs delete everything that doesn’t agree with them.

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  137. @ Renee

    because women have turned the tables on men

    women only turn the tables on men when ordered to wash the floor below

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  138. obviously the men here have power issues. this is the most disgusting thread i’ve ever seen. why not round up all women over 35 or who don’t rate 7 or above and just put em in the gas chamber. maybe this is “factual” but it reveals the baser, animalistic side of human nature and a lack of imagination or desire to aspire to something beyond heirarchy, power and “success” ok nuff said. i’m gonna go kill myself now.

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  139. oh and another thing. a small minority of us aren’t interested in breeding, being power players or sucking some guys dick to be provided for (i.e whoring out our lives for some dude).

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  140. Only a woman would put factual in quotes.

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  141. on November 1, 2009 at 3:46 pm Personal trainer

    Total shock!

    Its true and I never heard it put so well…

    I dont even consider myself a health freak but I just want to be my best and be presentable.

    Personal Chef and trainer. I eat and drink good food, natural teas and studied 3 styles of martial arts…..

    In my 40s now and cant relate to women my own age. I was an executive VP at 25, raised children alone. I relate to women who are into global economics, could be cause I traded commodities. Most women my age don’t look like me, have my energy level etc. Thats just my life and choice to age slowley..But because my x abandoned me and our children, my career ended and fortune was spent on lawyers and raising children. Its a fact of life that younger women want cash or at least someone who has NOT “done it all already”.

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  142. I made love to very old women & very young girls and found no fun or taste to make love to older but enjoyed the most with girls of 14 or 15 years as and when they want & beg for sex and my friend told me that he is 67 and he enjoyed good sex with 10 11 years lod girls in Thailand etc.

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  143. on November 5, 2009 at 6:43 pm HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS YO

    ^ lol

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  144. I actually prefer a man my own age. If he’s 1 or 2 years older then thats fine but 5,6,7, or 10 years older…..no. I’m not gay but I don’t plan on having kids anyway.

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  145. im american and the only way us 19-22 year old would want to have sex with OLD BALLS is if they have money cause we can always close our eyes:) plust if your old your assleep early so i go out a SCREW whom ever i wish. If you enjoy sex with the age bracket of 11-15 how you you feel SCREWING someone who is the same age as your daughter. THE MONEY IS ONLY REASON YOUNG GIRLS LIKE YOU IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE MONEY AND WE CANT WAIT TO GET IT ALL!!!!! DONT BE DELUDED ! WE DONT RELATE TO YOU OR CARE ABOUT YOU…………….. We just want what you have and because we are young we will get it all:) love it!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  146. Look me and my sorority sisters make fun of old men like the guys in the post we just like the stuff you buy us we dont like you! Old men we consider 10 years older.. They are pathetic thats why we prey on them …. why else:) Plus to “DS” if your friend has sex with 11-12 year olds in THAI you are now on a child porn list for posting something that DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I guess in Europe everything goes ..ewwwwwwwwwww thats the reason why we will aways control you:)

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  147. lexi…………. You are the embodiment of all that is wrong with women. Does this come naturally or did you have to work at it?

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  148. lol I need chicks like her to use me when I am old.

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  149. What about the longevity of women who marry younger men? Do they die later along with older men who date younger women?

    And I’m sorry, but at 25, I can’t see myself marrying someone years older than me (of course I say this now, but who knows). My parents are a year or two apart and they have been married for 27 years. I would rather age WITH someone.

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  150. WOW! what an eye opener.. har har

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  151. This is one of the most fascinating and entertaining posts I have read!

    I have two other articles that pour HUGE anthropological and societal fuel to the fire!

    As a 26 year old bartender in the 80’s I had my share of cougars…it was incredibly intoxicating and adventurous. The best part of the thread was “blaming” my midlife crisis on my 54 yr. old wife! Hilarious…

    “The Monogamy Puzzle” is a great read. http://bit.ly/ak5yK
    “Listening to Your Inner Penis” is a hilarious read about midlife crisis. http://bit.ly/18EQGt

    Enjoy

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  152. Ha Ha. I would want to live as long as possible if I ever found myself a younger bride. In fact I am looking for one now to keep me on my toes.

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  153. To maurice who wrote:

    “to clarify, the point of the post is that older man/younger women result in better health and longer life for both – the underlying truth being that this is a natural state of affairs in human sexuality and psychology. this is because older men are more attractive to women, including younger women, because of their higher status, maturity, etc. which have very little to do with their looks. there is a strong ASYMMETRY between what men find attractive and women find attractive, on average, and that can be used by both sexes to generate attraction and happy relationships”.

    I’m sorry, but how do you know this is what women are attracted to?” As I have already stated the first thing that attracts me to a man is indeed his LOOKS. Status is irrelevant to me, I mean what good is a man’s status to me, if the idea of having sex with him makes me feel sick? Sounds far too similar to prostitution to be ‘attractive’.

    If historically, women did choose men because of specific ‘qualities’ it’s because they did not have much of a choice, surely anyone can see that. I think you have to be careful about using the word ‘attractive’. Many women who do end up settling for some older financially equipped man, very often end up having affairs with younger men. So I do not believe there is this strong ‘Asymetry’.

    What a woman actually wants and what she ends up doing are two very different things. This is largely to do with pressure form society, family, her economic status and biological clock. I’m not trying to be some lefty feminist, although why not, but just stating the fact, that it is wrong to assume you know what attracts one person to another, when there is simply no way you could really know what was going on in another person’s mind. Never confuse attraction with a lack of choice.

    For centuries, men have relied on the fact that women have fewer choices if they want to be seen to fit in to the norm of society. There would probably be hardly any marriages if women held out for the type of man she really wanted.

    Please don’t assume because a number of women end up with men because the men are rich or indeed because they are nice, that the women were necessarily ever attracted to these men in the first place. Men have the fortune to go for the woman they want, provided they fall into the financially stable, or mature nice guy category, whereas women tend not to be able to go for the guy they want, so they have to go for the guy that wants them, or end up alone. Yes this has always happened and maybe it always will, but please at least recognise the fact that who women end up with, is usually not what they wanted. Women have very strong sexual desires for good looking younger men, it’s just harder to marry them.

    I am 30 and will probably end up alone, due to the fact that I won’t settle for someone I don’t want. the idea of marrying some older guy for his money and his so-called maturity (do men actually mature?) makes me feel lonelier than ever. I simply did not sign up for a life of sleeping with an older bloke and the looking after him into his older years, being poor seems more appealing.

    I do not mean to offend older men, as each relationship is it’s own thing, I just can’t stand men patronising women, and telling them want they really want, I mean how the hell would they know? There will be some women into older men, but everyone has their type, and the fact that there are so many articles written on how women are attracted to status and that stuff, really upsets me, makes me feel like I am some kind of freak for being attracted to good looking younger men. Sure I like money, winning the lottery would be great, but I’m not willing to sacrifice my happiness for it. How could I enjoy money if I was unhappy? On the plus side, there have recently been studies into the quality and quantity of men’s sperm after the age of 35, which states that a woman, has a bigger chance of a healthy pregnancy if she mates with a younger man. Previously, the emphasis has been on women’s fertility declining with age, but this study also stated that women who are nearing the end of their fertility age, are more likely to get pregnant and have a full term pregnancy with men who were under 35. In terms, of evolution, maybe this explains why I am attracted to younger men.

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  154. Hi All,

    My boyfriend is 5 years younger than me. I am 26 and he is 21. Both of us are deeply in love with each other, but people say that cos women age faster because of childbirth , he might leave me for someone else when we are in our forties..
    Especially this is the worry of my family.

    Also,do women lose interest in sex earlier …like in forties with men still wanting more of it…?

    pls clarify someone….

    Thanks a bunch in advance.

    Like