This Will Count Towards Your Final Score

Who would you rather be friends with? An honest asshole or an amiable hypocrite?

young woman substitutes

young woman substitutes





Comments


  1. I bet that guy bangs the dog on his leg regularly, it’s clearly his main squeeze.

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  2. Where did you find a picture of Peter? All these puks surely
    must have glorious natural pelts.

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  3. on July 11, 2008 at 2:08 pm SovereignAmericanMale

    In answer to the Topic.

    An honest asshole.

    Your friends wear off on you, and you pick up habits from them. Be friends with people who are excellent, and over time you two shall become excellent.

    Jack Nicholson is a huge asshole, but almost everyone loves him. He doesn’t have to work, he keeps getting type cast as himself, just the names change.

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  4. Joy of joys! Life is wonderful again!!

    I saw a sign advertising this product but thought it was a hoax. Guess what? It’s the real deal! Could this mean that fashions are changing, and that the hideous pedophilic Bald Eagle is on its way out? Christ Almighty, I hope so!

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  5. An honest asshole. Gut I’m getting out of the way when someone punches him in the nose…

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  6. on July 11, 2008 at 3:20 pm Usually Lurking

    Peter, your posts always crack me up. But, are you being serious when you say that men who think shaved mounds are pedophilic? I mean, if the shaved pussy is for pedophiles then a landing strip is ok for, say, teenagers?

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  7. It’s not that all men who prefer the Bald Eagle are pedophiles, but the look appeals to men who fantasize about children but have enough self-control not to act on their urges.

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  8. The look is plain old disgusting and wierd. Like a swollen hairless cat. Or like a girl with shaved eyebrows.

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  9. on July 11, 2008 at 3:55 pm SovereignAmericanMale

    @7 Peter

    “It’s not that all men who prefer the Bald Eagle are pedophiles, but the look appeals to men who fantasize about children but have enough self-control not to act on their urges.”

    Guilt by association, and the usual suspects…
    So much for innocent until proven guilty.

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  10. amiable hypocrite…
    every time..assholes suck…being honest about it..doesnt make it ok…
    xoxo

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  11. on July 11, 2008 at 3:58 pm SovereignAmericanMale

    @8 SeaFighter HSV

    “Check me out:”

    Fast, and Ugly… two requirements for modern milspec procurement. I am sure you will be cloned many times.

    I weep for the Navy.

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  12. Pugs are the best when they are in a bunch. They are baby substitutes for some women, like myself. With five cute pugs, it is very hard not to think about any man in a waggies puggy, snub-nosed way. Pugs are Chinese, and have travelled around quite a bit. They are worldly people.

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  13. … or insufficiently baked cake batter

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  14. Fast, ugly or beautiful depending on your aesthetics, twin helipads and a few single-mount M2HBs.

    So you’re supposed to kill isolated diesel subs and let the Coasties nab a few drug boats?

    This is mission creep made metal.

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  15. Can we please do something about the loser posting weapons procurement garbage and the dipshits that assist in jaking threads with their ‘tard circle jerk?

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  16. At least with the hypocrite one can have fun tying them in verbal knots over a beer…

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  17. Bald eagle is fine. I just want what I see in magazines. These days that means bald eagle or thin landing strip. The thick rectangle or delta is so 90’s.

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  18. Someone who understands the rules of logic enough to spot a false dilemma.

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  19. on July 11, 2008 at 5:24 pm SeaFighter HSV

    “Can we please do something about the loser posting weapons procurement garbage”

    Yeah, ban that guy.

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  20. I’d rather be with an honest asshole, because that’s what I am. I’m convinced there’s a gender divide in how this question gets answered. Men tend to be much more brutally honest with each other than women are. On more than one occasion I’ve watched a group of women I know try and give “advice” and “support” to a woman whose life is clearly turning to shit, and not one of them can flat-out tell the poor soul what she need to hear – “You’re fucking up your life Sally. Stop it.” This feminine idea of “support” has always made me wince. As women have increased their power and stature in society, this way of operating has taken a place in the public sphere as well. This, I believe, is why politicians today have to be more concerned about being “nice” than being “honest”.

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  21. I have a feeling most of your male readers will pick the honest asshole, because to them honesty and assholery are alpha (read: macho) traits. Myself, I think hypocrisy is underrated. If you do not walk the right path, it is at least better to know where it lies than to believe with all your heart that you are on it.

    Furthermore, honesty is the rule rather than the exception–I don’t know that I’ve ever been lied to by my friends–whereas assholeness is an outright disqualifier for friendship barring exceptional redeeming qualities; there are many funny assholes, for example.

    dizzy,
    It’s only a false dilemma when you present your point as the only alternative, not when you are comparing the relative merits of two things.

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  22. Honest asshole, all the way.

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  23. The one with “amiable” in the description? At least you can say good morning to them without it turning into a pissing contest. (based on a true story)

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  24. Gotta go along with amiable.

    Heck, it’s easy as, well, pie, to be an honest asshole. Being amiable takes constant work…and a decent dose of hypocrisy too.

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  25. Honest asshole, of course. I’m one. That slimy “amiable hypocrite” you are forced to deal with is a weak beta car salesman or real estate agent, worthless when it counts.

    ….now that I think about it, the “amiable hypocrite” isn’t even beta, more like gamma, or whatever Roissy calls those guys who have the baby carrier and wear Birkenstocks.

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  26. on July 11, 2008 at 6:10 pm atheist_messiah

    who do I want to be friends with?

    hmm..

    being amiable and honest myself, I would choose the hypocrite because I’ll naturally look so much better by comparison. Why would I want the competition from the asshole? It’s better to dominate the hypocrite than constantly bang heads with the ass.

    Being a pimp, the choice is clear. You gotta pimp that shit, son

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  27. Atheist_Messiah — you might be shocked. Depending on the situation, the amiable hypocrite could dominate YOU. The Alpha-Beta thing ONLY makes sense in terms of how women pick (usually badly) men. Read Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice.” Wickham was the bad boy Alpha, and a hypocrite, while Darcy just didn’t care much about how people reacted to him. But his power, basically money, meant Wickham would dance to his tune. Even “smart” Elizabeth Bennett at first fell hard for Wickham (because women invariably will chose the wrong guy 9 times out of ten).

    A guy like, say Bill Joy, might not impress women at the bar, might have “beta” type personality and so on, and might be an amiable hypocrite, but at Sun he would give any “Alpha” management or sales type the heave-ho (excepting the CEO) because he’s a “star” and those guys (like Linus Torvalds, the guy who popularized Ruby) have lots of power inside their organizations. Meanwhile, a brilliant guy like Theo Van Raadt (OpenBSD) is a marginal player because of his personality rubbing guys the wrong way. Though his “Alpha” tendencies if he focused them on women would probably make him successful with them.

    Stuff that works with women, generally is poison with men in the workplace. A few exceptions like BIGLAW partners or professional sports aside. Because … men and women are very different!

    Pets? Not “women substitutes,” rather wife/family affection substitutes. A dog will love you unconditionally. The kind of love that men and women used to get, but don’t anymore, from life-long marriages that were largely faithful on both sides.

    After spending, say, 20 years screwing lots of other people, from your teens onward, for most women and men, it’s pretty thin gruel marrying and expecting the magic wand to change 20 years of learned behavior, constant passion. For PUA it could be even worse, the awful suspicion that their partner does not “really” love them, the person, merely the aspects of the game.

    Look at say, Denise Richards. Her pets and her kids probably form a relationship substitute, and she’s hardly alone. Almost every single divorced/single women in their thirties I know acts sort of like that — using pets and / or kids as a relationship substitute.

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  28. on July 11, 2008 at 6:57 pm atheist_messiah

    Whiskey-
    ah that was interesting and thoughtful… i think ur right too because in real life all of my friends are brutally honest, thugs, and/or drug dealers. So, it was a hypothetical answer to a somewhat hypothetical question.. I tend to REALLY enjoy myself around hypocrites though, for the reasons I cited. You get to fuck with them and not have to worry because their hypocrisy usually means they are spineless as well. They CERTAINLY never make the “real friends” category in my mind. But definitely worth it for the entertainment/company

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  29. on July 11, 2008 at 7:39 pm johnny five

    It’s not that all men who prefer the Bald Eagle are pedophiles, but the look appeals to men who fantasize about children but have enough self-control not to act on their urges.

    how is this functionally different from more anodyne “youthful” features that men also fetishize, such as the cute high girly voice, the baby face with big saucerlike eyes, etc.?

    also, the thatch just gets in the way sometimes, if you follow me.

    it’s interesting you’d say this, though, because i’ve always thought the same thing about men who actually feel sexual desire for waifish women (as opposed to just wanting to walk around with them as high-status arm candy): they see them as substitutes for the prepubescent girls that society won’t let them have.

    bring on the hourglasses!

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  30. Honest asshole. Because I can look him square in the eyes and tell him I think he’s an asshole.

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  31. this functionally different from more anodyne “youthful” features

    Difference of kind vs difference of degree.

    “Youthful” simply means “adult without signs of age-related decay and wear.” A normal person never confuses that to mean “child.” If you like “youthful,” your’re still on the good side of teh perv/normal divide.

    The Unnaturally Bare Mound, on the other hand, is unsettlingly on the wrong said of said divide.

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  32. Depends on what I’m using the friend for. If it’s just for hanging around with, then honest asshole. If they’re someone who’s going to help me get what I need from another person, then amiable hypocrite — assuming they’re a conscious hypocrite. An honest asshole doesn’t fly under the radar well, and so the jig would be up.

    Could this mean that fashions are changing, and that the hideous pedophilic Bald Eagle is on its way out?

    Dude, read the website for the product you’re rejoicing over — it’s pube dye for middle-aged women with gray hair down there. I’ll take a teen over a woman with a full, gray bush any day.

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  33. @28 whiskey

    Torvalds did not popularize Ruby. He is the father of the Linux kernel. If you want to say someone popularized Ruby, I would say David Hansson (DHH) did so, vis a vis Rails.

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  34. While neither one is all that appealing, I’d go with the honest asshole. I’m far more concerned with honesty than amiability, but I may not be typically female in that regard.

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  35. These aren’t the only two choices in life. Although I’m quite sure Roissy thinks they are.

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  36. on July 11, 2008 at 10:29 pm atheist_messiah

    oh come on now MQ why do you take this blog so seriously? it’s entertainment baby!

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  37. When you hear the stereo cut off, and the dude with the bad scar on his face breaks the whiskey bottle on the bar, you want the honest asshole at your back.

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  38. When that happens Jewcano I tell you what you do. You put him on the ground, kick him in the head, and turn around and look for his friend.

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  39. Animus, yeah that’s what I meant.

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  40. 30 “the baby face with big saucerlike eyes”

    Mmmm…big saucerlike eyes…

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  41. on July 12, 2008 at 3:35 am SovereignAmericanMale

    @33 agnostic

    “Dude, read the website for the product you’re rejoicing over — it’s pube dye for middle-aged women with gray hair down there. I’ll take a teen over a woman with a full, gray bush any day.”

    IMO the return of the bush-afro or pubic hair on men and women will be the forerunner of the future crab-louse megaboom. And the players… will be on the leading edge of it.

    I remember being a young child, and seeing everyone itching and scratching aching for relief.
    You sad bushmen can suffer the afro-crabs all you like.
    As for me, more “nair for men” creme please!

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  42. on July 12, 2008 at 3:46 am SovereignAmericanMale

    Damn moderation checks… wont let me post about the joys of men using “Nair for men” cream on their delicious girlfriend’s punanni, for health benefit reasons.

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  43. Could this mean that fashions are changing, and that the hideous pedophilic Bald Eagle is on its way out?

    Dude, read the website for the product you’re rejoicing over — it’s pube dye for middle-aged women with gray hair down there. I’ll take a teen over a woman with a full, gray bush any day.

    It also comes in “fun” colors for women who want a little variety. Many of the user testimonials on the site tout that sort of use.

    Apparently some men use it too.

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  44. on July 12, 2008 at 6:55 am SovereignAmericanMale

    Whens the last time you pulled a pube outta your mouth, Peter?

    Now you can get to pull a “Fun” colored one out, congrats.

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  45. I would rather just get an anti depressant than dogs (depending on the situation, the loss of sex drive may be an advantage, even). It may flatline your emotions but at least it flatlines them at a high level.

    But then I never had much understanding as to why people bother with pets.

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  46. Which type of person best suits me depends on my needs. Sometimes I need people to be honest with me. Other times I need people to get along with various people around them. Well, not all those people can handle the truth.

    Also, sometimes I can detect dishonesty for that which matters since I have ways to measure assorted outcomes. In that case honesty is optional though still handy.

    I think the world would run better with more honesty and with more intelligence. But I see a greater need for more intelligence than for more honesty.

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  47. I think you are losing the meaning of hypocrite. Hypocrite criticizes others for doing what they themselves do. That isnt really the opposite of honesty. So people, read the question. An amiable hypocrite may also be an asshole, just not an honest one.

    I think when I go out, I would like to have amiable hypocrite around to be criticized for laughs by my honest asshole friend. BTW I am usually the honest asshole so I think having an extra honest asshole around I would be competing for oxygen. I would take the amiable hypocrite so I can honest assholize him myself.

    Dr. Feelgood

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