A Test Of Your Game

It’s been a while since I tested my readers’ game skills. Let’s see how you do in the following hypothetical scenario.

You’ve been dating a girl for a few months. Things are going swimmingly. The sex is hot, the time together is easy and carefree, and the affection is genuine. Pat yourself on the back, Lothario, you’ve had win for breakfast.

One pleasant evening you two are sitting at dinner and she drops the name of a male friend she’s known since high school. She’s randomly mentioned this guy before in conversation, and because you were designed by the god of biomechanics to be the most advanced alpha intruder alert system the world has ever seen, the first time she talked about him you had cajoled just enough information out of her to learn that they never slept together and he is just an old friend. Although, as with all women, you couldn’t be sure she wasn’t lying about the sex part, your dirty whore biodetection algorithm made a sweep of her facial expression when she answered your subtly probing questions and you concluded at the time that she was telling the truth.

So here you sit at dinner with her and his name comes up again. And again. She’s complaining about something he did which didn’t involve her, but her complaints are tinged with that peculiar female way of complaining — sprightly and histrionically — when thoughts of the man who has annoyed her have simultaneously tingled her gina. Now she doesn’t bring him up often, but he’s mentioned just often enough that you begin to wonder if she harbors latent feelings of attraction for him. You’ve met the man, and he is a good looking dude with a stoically masculine personality.

You sense — though your evidence is flimsy — that you are at some sort of dating crossroad. You smell an unintentional shit test blowin’ on the breeze. Danger is in the air. Up to now, you have handled her very well. Your alpha cred is intact. Her furrow parts freely and she orgasms wantonly when penetrated by the tumescent expression of your silverback essence. But now, you sit listening to her intently, holding your tongue, pricked by a needle of ambiguity.

What do you do?

Answer carefully. This will go toward your final score.





Comments


  1. Ignore most of what she’s saying about the other guy. Tuck it away for future use, but don’t worry about it.

    Hit on the waitress (assuming she’s reasonably good looking – better if she’s hot) in front of her during that dinner.

    Take her home after dinner – no sex that night. Early if possible. Go to another party/event. Maybe text her from that event, if possible. See if she asks what your are doing.

    Wait and see how she responds to the above…

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  2. Sorry, I forgot this:

    If the waitress isn’t a good target then hit on someone else on the way out the door from dinner. Act like you thought it was someone you recognized, but when you “realize” it wasn’t someone you know ask for their number anyway.

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  3. Say something along the lines of, “Sometimes you have to let people make the stupid mistakes they are determined to make.” You frame him as a fool who needs to learn in order to reach your level.

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  4. Go cold on her. Or, break it off completely. See what the distance/silence does to her. She’s either going to miss you and want to get back together, or use it as an opportunity to meet up with the other dude. Shake her up a bit…if things are in limbo between her and the other dude don’t let her safely jump ship from you to him with no distress in between. Remember, women are like monkeys, they don’t swing from one branch till they have a safe hold on the next.

    The moment she starts consistently talking about another guy who isn’t gay/unattractive enough to not warrant any threat, you should become wary.

    No need to make it complicated. Let her decide under fire, don’t let her contemplate her possible betrayal while under the comfort of your affection.

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  5. – Wait for her to bring him up again. If she is going to bone him, she won’t stop talking about him. If she manages to keep it a secret, then he probably isn’t the only one you have to worry about.

    – When she does bring it up say “Who?” or mix it up with someone else unless its completely obvious.

    – “Oh, that guy. He reminds me of a guy in high school who used to pee sitting down.” Tell a stupid, made up story about a guy peeing sitting down. “Guys like him always have some weird habit like that.” “Pee sitting down” can be associated with some other minor quirky beta behavior.

    – If she mentions him again, just say his name and smirk to remind her of the conversation, but don’t belabor it.

    – Continue all other alpha cred behavior.

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  6. Never slept together? They’re LJBF. But I detect her having a tingly moment? Solution: reinforce LBJF status.
    Try to pull subtle AMOW and push the negative anti-tingle feelings associating negative logical or beta things to his memory.

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  7. She has pedestalized him as her dream bf. And very possibly prefers him to her current boyfriend.

    Give her closure. Unseat the bf with a well-aimed ridicule bomb. (I’d have to know the girl & guy to prepare the proper ordinance…)

    Only ignore if ridicule option unavailable. And do not miss should you choose to fire, or she will write you off and her “gina tingles” for her dream bf will increase…

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  8. Wait for the next time that she doesn’t account for her movements, accuse her of seeing him. Storm out. Then get into a fight with the guy at the next available opportunity.

    Make sure you win.

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  9. @Dan:

    Do you have Robert Downey Jr. as the person in your icon?

    ??

    Like


  10. You sense — though your evidence is flimsy — that you are at some sort of dating crossroad. You smell an unintentional shit test blowin’ on the breeze.

    is there ever a relationship that isn’t fast-approaching some crossroad? is there ever a woman who isn’t just about to throw some shit test in your path?

    in the tao of steve, dex mentions ‘male insanity syndrome’ or the way that no matter how hot the present girl is, a guy is always thinking about the possibility of finding a hotter girl. girls are the same way. no matter what alpha cred you’ve established with her, she’s always wondering if there isn’t some higher status male she could be with.

    in this situation, the worst thing you can do is to overtly react to the perceived threat. if you react to him without a clear reason, you’re just giving him status. the first thing i would do is to take a clear self-inventory and make sure she’s not reacting to some beta slippage on your part. if your shit is tight, then i would ignore all obvious ploys to discuss the situation. don’t let your curiousity get the best of you. you don’t want to be her buddy, discussing some new guy and assessing his behavior. do that, and you might as well start letting her penetrate you with a strap-on, cause you’re fucked.

    what this calls for is some obvious display of your alpha status. get yourself into a social situation with your girl and this guy. if she wants to spend time with him, fine. go flirt with other girls. show her that you’re not threatened; that you have other options. resist every attempt she makes to get you competing over her, but don’t be afraid to show your social adeptness and mastery of any situation. and definitely end the night by giving her the good dick. she should wake up the next morning secure in the knowledge that she went home with the right man.

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  11. on November 18, 2009 at 12:50 pm The Book of Dooderonomy

    I’d defend the guy’s actions, so long as they were short of murder.

    Her: I can’t believe John did *so and so objectionable action*.
    Me: Ha, really? Well, from a guys perspective, it seems he did the right thing. Had I been put in that situation, I’d definitely have done something similar.

    And I’d keep defending it, but defend it intelligently, yet with a hint of me just doing it to get under her skin. Also, I would note to her that he seems like a “really cool guy” and some of his other good qualities, but do it backhandedly.

    She’s annoyed, we finish dinner, go back and have angry sex.

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  12. Get his name wrong. Confuse him with a lesser alpha with beta qualities in your common sphere.

    Tell her you always mistake those 2 guys for each other, but then to go on and compliment him for being a reliable, nice guy.

    Tell her you especially admire him because you aren’t always like that, but appreciate the guys who are.

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  13. Easy, just smile to yourself when she brings him up, each and every time, and each time she asks why you are smiling, just say that you remembered something funny…be sure to make it look legit, and then sit back as her brain goes hyper confused, she can connect the dots to figure out that you smile every time she mentions him but she will go crazy trying to figure out why on earth you are smiling, basically successfully shifting her focus from the other guy to why the fuck you are smiling. Never underestimate the crazy things women think of when trying to rationalize their guys actions that seem irrational.

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  14. Explain ‘ladder theory’ to her and then send her the link to the website. Explain how his friendship with her is all a weak attempt by a beta male to nail her, and how he’s the kind of guy who has never had the guts to ask her out because he’s not very self confident.

    The key to doing all this is to do it in a manner that makes you seem not too interested in it. When she talks about a conversation about him, you smirk. When she asks what, you say nothing and try to change the subject in a way that gets her interested in knowing what you’re smirking about. Then you talk about ladder theory a bit, so she comes to the conclusion that the guy is into her without you coming straight out and saying it at first. If you come out and say it and then explain ladder theory it makes you look jealous. You want to act like you’re looking down on a lesser male who doesn’t know how to act toward women, which in essence is what you’re actually doing.

    Make her see every conversation she’s ever had with this guy as an attempt by him to worm his way into getting with her.

    This will instantly cause her to lose interest in him, since it causes her to see him as a beta and someone who is working really hard to get with her. She will either 1.) confront the guy about it or 2.) slowly distance herself from him.

    If she does the latter, problem solved. If she does the former, the guy will either profess his love for her, after which she will be disgusted and stop talking to him, or he will tell her that no, he’s not actually interested in her. If that occurs it will lead to their friendship falling apart regardless.

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  15. Tease the crap out of her. If teasing is not an option, ignore her. Even if it’s a good relationship you should have one or two backups if things go sideways. For the love of all that is holy don’t get angry or defensive about it.

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  16. I would honestly encourage her to spend more time with him. I’m not a fucking gatekeeper and I got options. What I don’t want is ambiguity only because I find it annoying and it takes my mind away from more important matters. If she takes me up on my generous offer then I win because the situation is no longer ambiguous.

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  17. “Oh, person x? Don’t see him anymore.”

    What tone to use? As Caesar Milan would describe it, calm dominant energy.

    Using a “boyfriend destroyer” is great if you’re the other guy and not the boyfriend. He’s the exciting non-boyfriend guy. You’re way down on the mystery scale but if you’re handling the relationship properly you should be way up on the her personal authority figure scale.

    What if she freaks or says your overreacting? Don’t answer. Let her say what she wants and repeat. Then declare the subject closed. She doesn’t actually comply and stop seeing the guy? Well, then you’ve already lost because she is willing to risk your wrath to see some other guy.

    What she needs in this situation is for ambiguity to allow her play both of you so she can assess value. What you need is her to act when she has more information about your high value and the other guy is a mystery. Women being risk averse, she’ll go with you if your value actually is high.

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  18. I would encourage her to talk more about him and what she thought of him. Defeating the enemy is about target acquisition. When you know a gun is hiding in your bushes, its yours. I don’t suppose my confident demeanor would hurt me either. If I do meet him, watch his pea cocking in front of her and the reactions. I remember my coworker doing quite a dance for my girl once. Stay close but discourage him as a tag along buddy once you have a full assessment. If he is slick he may just land someone else sooner or later. If he isn’t, then just expose the beta that he is.

    A lot of times you will find common ground about what you both know about her. He may take the teasing or the compliments too far. All that is usable.

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  19. on November 18, 2009 at 1:02 pm gunslingergregi

    Tell her to look at a painting on the wall for a second.

    Then break her fucking jaw.

    But seriously though.

    Met the dude?

    She would be rolled into the not for marriage zone but other than that if she was enjoyable company it wouldn’t matter as far as continued ability to hit it.

    The new attitude would be felt by her and cause her to fall more madly in love than ever.

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  20. First thing to do?

    Grab a dictionary and look up “tumescent “!

    Just another reason to love the blog . . . educational on so many levels . . .

    Like


  21. Please, this shit doesn’t phase me. Like I’m fucking scared of some guy she’s known for years and never fucked.

    Me: “Yeah those friendships are hard… the ones you’ve had for a long time, with that will we/won’t we flavor to it. Have you ever considered moving to a cabin in Newfoundland with him to make handcrafts and get away from it all?”

    Her: “Uh, no, not really into the handcrafts”

    Me: “Yeah, besides, you’re too old for that now. You can really only pull off the Nova Scotia handcraft thing before you’re 23.”

    Her: “What?”

    Me: “Yeah, at this point, it would just end with you leaving him because his obsession with ballooning would take a toll on the relationship. I’ve seen it so many times before”

    Just play absurd-funny with it. If you’re assuming she has some latent long-time close-friend-brother-unrequited-love-for-the-guy, just make fun of it. She knows its stupid, and I do too. I’m not afraid that she’s gonna leave me to be with this guy, so I just don’t give a fuck.

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  22. morielan:

    Make her see every conversation she’s ever had with this guy as an attempt by him to worm his way into getting with her.

    This will instantly cause her to lose interest in him, since it causes her to see him as a beta and someone who is working really hard to get with her.

    that’s a big gamble, no? it’s success rests on your ability to cast this guy as a beta. what if he’s not? what if he’s an alpha who slays tail like it’s his job, and the only reason he’s never slept with your girl is because of timing or because he hasn’t wanted to? maybe she’s always thought that this guy was out of her league and now you’ve basically convinced her that she’s got a shot.

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  23. The Book of Dooderonomy – “I’d defend the guy’s actions, so long as they were short of murder.”

    This is the ‘A’ student in the bunch.

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  24. address it directly, with respectful teasing, that she has a crush on him. the particular words don’t matter.

    FOR THE LADIES:
    in the context of a long term marriage, you’ll have little crushes on a few men, perhaps one every five years. I’ve found it best to avoid the men temporarily; the crushes all pass with time. In one case, I happened to meet the man’s wife socially; getting to know her accelerated the “crush dwindling” process.

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  25. My first reaction (if I could no longer ignore it) would be to call her out a bit. Saying something like “I’m not interested in talking about your buddy. That’s what your girlfriends are for. I don’t care about his problems.” The problem is that it would be out of character for me, as I usually enjoy gossiping with girls I’m dating.

    Some of the other suggestions about going cold/hitting on other chicks in front of her sound good too.

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  26. To clarify my first post: Don’t get angry unless she’s the type that likes a five across the eyes every now and then. And don’t get defensive/hurt unless she’s the type that likes intense drama every other minute.

    Complicated shit is complicated.

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  27. This reminds me a story a guy, Jeff, told me. First, a little backstory: he’s mid 40s, got 4 kids from 3 different women, makes a couple million dollars a year and spends it all on strippers and booze. Money means very little to him.

    Anyway, so he’s been dating this girl (stripper, really cute) for a year or two, and she starts mentioning a guy from her past that called her up and wants to get together to catch up. They had dated before and he was still madly in love with her. She says it in a way that suggests she possibly could be open to the possibility.

    Jeff, with her right there, calls the guy on speakerphone, introduces himself as the boyfriend of the girl he wants to get back together with, and Jeff arranges a meeting where they all meet up for drinks. They end up back at his place, and gangbang the girl.

    The guy doesn’t call again, and she never mentions him again.

    I don’t think this is really what you had in mind, Roissy. But there’s the story anyway.

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  28. on November 18, 2009 at 1:13 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””””””’Her: “Uh, no, not really into the handcrafts”

    Me: “Yeah, besides, you’re too old for that now. You can really only pull off the Nova Scotia handcraft thing before you’re 23.”

    Her: “What?”

    Me: “Yeah, at this point, it would just end with you leaving him because his obsession with ballooning would take a toll on the relationship. I’ve seen it so many times before”
    ”””””””””””

    lol

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  29. Before I look at anyone else’s response:

    1) If I actually cared: praise his most praiseworthy beta qualities, and suggest she fix him up with one of her more hapless friends.

    2) If I didn’t care: I’d tease her about how much she was attracted to his more attractive qualities, and pretend to not believe her protestations that she LJBFed him. Runs the risk she might agree.

    3) In both cases, tell her he probably still has the hots for her from back when… she’ll flicker a bit of disgust at his creepy creeper quality if he’s really never made a move.

    I’ve done all the above in my current LTR.

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  30. You lost me here:

    “You’ve been dating a girl for a few months. ”

    But to play along, I like MeMyselfI’s moves.

    I would get the waitress or girl bartenders number when the girl goes to the bathroom.

    Then get a blower in the Lac before dropping her off.

    Then roll to the Gentleman’s Club to swoop more girls.

    All done suited down of course.

    – MPM

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  31. I say tell her that she obviously gets gina tingles from this guy because she is making such a metan effort over him and tell her to call me when she’s ready to be faithful and stay witha real man. I don’t play second fiddle to chumps. Then go out with my buddies for a good time and if the waitress is there, hit on her too, plain or not. Then go party with your buddies and leave her at the restaurant or take her home early. Make sure you flirt with the waitress. Hitting on plain women in front of hot women will really set them off as its a great negative hit.

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  32. don’t have LTRs with any woman who wouldn’t drop ALL her friends for you, let alone any stray males still sniffing around her. she’s a cunt and a whore and a ball breaker.

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  33. on November 18, 2009 at 1:21 pm The Book of Dooderonomy

    How come so many of your gut responses include trashing the guy and making shit up about him being a beta? By the description Roissy gave, it seems like he’s a cool, masculine alpha. Trashing Brad Pitt because he sometimes wears “skinny jeans” or something isn’t exactly going to work in your favor. You guys sound defensive and scared of this guy – not alpha qualities.

    Fuck, if he was cool, I’d probably invite him out with me and my boys for some drinks at my favorite local dive.

    Oh, and please don’t send any chick a link to a website regarding ladder theory. C’mon, man.

    Like


  34. Say this:

    “Yeah, for some odd reason that guy has probably been obsessing over you for years and is just acting out because he’s too much of a pussy to make a move. For all his creepiness, I kind of like him though…just keep him away from the kids.”

    This negs her a bit – “for some odd reason” – because you don’t want her head to get puffed up by beta flattery game, and negs him far lower into “ick” status.

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  35. Well, let’s review our potential responses:

    1. The jealous response

    “Sweetie, I must be honest with you – it makes me uncomfortable when you talk about other guys. I love you deeply and I could not imagine life without you. So I guess I am in an insecure place and I need some assurances from you that everything is OK between us. Are we OK?”

    This would be the standard mainstream relationship advice.

    Grade: Omega

    Demonstrating insecurity is a girl repellent. The only possible reason for this response is if you actually do want to get rid of her.

    2. The I-trust-you response

    “Sweetie, I just want to let you know that I have 100% trust in you. If you wish to get together to have dinner with this guy, I am cool with it. I know I can trust you.”

    Grade: Beta

    From personally fucking many married women I can assure you that women can’t be trusted. The most likely scenario is that she will have a date with the guy and then sex would “just happen” totally unexpectedly. The I-trust-you option is a great way to get cuckold.

    3. Do whatever you want, but not while we are a couple

    “Hey, you seem to have this guy quite on your mind. Maybe you two should get together and see if sparks fly. I bet the two of you would make a cute couple and have plenty of babies. If you do, be sure to invite me to the wedding! But realize that you are not going to hang out with this dude as long as we are together. Your choice.”

    Grade: Alpha

    With this response you are not acting insecure or jealous. You are teasing her in a playful manner concerning the other guy. But you are also making it clear that you have certain boundaries that you not tolerate her to violate.

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  36. Double team her, then break both their jaws

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  37. I would just ignore. By the way, love how you keep using the term ‘gina tingle’. If these were the 90s, that would have been a great name for an alternate rock band.

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  38. Lion,

    The idea of #3 is alpha. The execution is less alpha.

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  39. continued

    You’re doing two things (1) reframing an order as a request, which is something you do with a superior (don’t do this because of x) and (2) giving her a mental image of her and this guy together and happy, probably not a good idea if you want her to stay with you.

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  40. You need to find out this info:

    What are dudes intentions?

    Is he single?

    Does he have game?

    What would a woman do? An alpha uses a woman’s tactics against her:

    She would spy on you – check her email and txt messages when she is taking a dump
    She would make you jealous – spend some time out of the house with your ladyfriends
    She would find subtle ways to cut the other woman down

    Anything he said that was alpha, agree with
    Anything he said that was beta, mock mercilessly. Frame him in such a light that he has a personality disorder, such as Asperger Syndrome.
    Tease her about her “other” boyfriend

    Your goal is to get her to stop talking about other dudes, and preferably to stop hanging out with other dudes, though this would be difficult if she, say, worked in a bar

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  41. Yeah Lion,

    the execution of # 3was beta. I could smell the whoremonal jealousy wisping off my screen from some of those words.

    “Heeyyyy, invite me to the wedding guys!!!…have lots of babies 2 !!!! I’m very beta and gayyyyyy!!!!1!!!”

    Eliminate sentences # 3 and 4, and it is better.

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  42. Hmmm, were this a real life scenario I’d believe she fails to meet his high, non-player (stoic = not a player) standards.

    If he didn’t bang her then (and they obviously haven’t), he simply isn’t sufficiently interested. She’s an orbiter of his.

    The likelihood they’ll ever bang is low, but non-zero.

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  43. From my own experience…

    When this happened early on in the relationship I said, basically, ‘Hang out with whoever you want. I don’t care.’

    For the past year or so I’ve just said its unacceptable and can’t happen.

    If asked for a reason, I just say ‘because that’s how the world works.’

    I don’t know how I’d handle it if she kept pushing, but she didn’t.

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  44. on November 18, 2009 at 1:37 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””Your goal is to get her to stop talking about other dudes, and preferably to stop hanging out with other dudes, though this would be difficult if she, say, worked in a bar
    ””””’

    Yea if the not wanting other guys thing doesn’t come out of her own mouth then hopeless. If your woman having other guys is not for you then you need to move (mentally) on if she is demonstrating thoughts of other guys after three months. She is not the right one for you.

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  45. on November 18, 2009 at 1:37 pm theobsidianfiles

    What does Obsidian do?

    Always play it cool. She’s gonna do what she’s gonna do no matter what anyway; if she wants dude, she’s gonna have him. The way to handle it is complete *Ahimsa* – non-attachment. Listen intently, make like Justice Clarence Thomas-no questions. Just listening. Intently listening.

    And never, ever, loose your cool.

    The Obsidian

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  46. on November 18, 2009 at 1:38 pm СОФИЯ/sofia

    Her furrow parts freely and she orgasms wantonly when penetrated by the tumescent expression of your silverback essence.

    It’s called “faking it”.

    [editor: some of us are experienced enough to tell the difference.

    ps my demolition of hope really got to you girls, eh? too much identification with the victim? the wagons are circling. good. i can feel your hate grow.]

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  47. there’s two general categories of why a woman brings up another dude: (1) she wants to make you jealous and assess your reaction, and (2) she is seriously thinking about ditching you and getting with him.

    most of the responses here are some form of AMOG/boyfriend destroyer. that’s fine if it’s the first case, but if it’s the second you’re basically pushing her in that direction.

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  48. on November 18, 2009 at 1:40 pm gunslingergregi

    The way to tell if you feel the need if she is faking or not is to stick your finger in her ass he he he

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  49. I would say something like

    “Ha ha, that reminds me of my friend Susie – you’ve met her, right? She does the stupidest things sometimes, but somehow her girlish antics makes me like her more. Don’t tell anyone I have a crush on her, that would be so embarrassing! Unless… do you fancy a threeway?”

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  50. @ Lion

    #1
    I don’t really have natural jealousy. I am just not stupid.

    #3 is over done in execution. Though yes I am putting off the “he is no threat” air. As said, in execution, I’d probe her about him with casual interest. Well, heck, this is what I did about old boy friends.

    That said, I would not let my wife get cozy with a “guy fiend” on a date. Its the principle of the thing. If this somehow were pressed, then two can play at that game and I’d make sure I’d win. I am not to be toyed with.

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  51. “call him up…we can both bang you at the same time. I call mouth.”

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  52. LOL @ John

    That is Superalpha.

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  53. when thoughts of the man who has annoyed her have simultaneously tingled her gina

    I’ve annoyed many girls that way.

    What do you do?

    If the subject doesn’t go away, talk about him like you’re complimenting him. Subtle backhanded compliments, about what a nice and decent guy he seems to be, how he isn’t the type to hurt a girl, etc. Make her picture him as a fluffy teddybear.

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  54. @СОФИЯ/sofia

    We notice when we are not making tread marks. At least those of use that use up the whole garage with the RV.

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  55. on November 18, 2009 at 1:47 pm gunslingergregi

    Yea this is hypothetical girlfriend hopefully the woman you make your wife would not be bringing shit like this up.

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  56. “You talk about this dude a lot, why do you care so much what he does? You’re not dating him, it doesn’t affect you.”

    Drop it. If she keeps it up after that or acts shady otherwise as time goes on, relegate her to B Team or drop her.

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  57. Dana’s first answer “don’t have LTRs with any woman who wouldn’t drop ALL her friends for you, let alone any stray males still sniffing around her” is the correct meta-point.

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  58. on November 18, 2009 at 1:53 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””””””’on November 18, 2009 at 1:36 pm Seeking Alpha
    From my own experience…

    When this happened early on in the relationship I said, basically, ‘Hang out with whoever you want. I don’t care.’

    For the past year or so I’ve just said its unacceptable and can’t happen.

    If asked for a reason, I just say ‘because that’s how the world works.’

    I don’t know how I’d handle it if she kept pushing, but she didn’t.
    ”””””””””””””””””’

    “slaps” wake up dude

    wake the fuck up.

    In the future I foresee mass devastation of your wallet and soul with your current woman.

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  59. This is tough, because we’re not talking about a cold approach in a bar. We’re talking a sustained relationship and all the concomitant nuances that we, the readers, don’t know about. In general, however, always remember to tease and escalate. In my current relationship, I’d make fun of her for having a crush, tickle her, and talk sappy to her: “little baby has a crush on somebody. How cute!” I might then say something like, “Isn’t he your Wednesday night man? I think you need to go fuck him right now. He must be getting anxious waiting for you.” Then I’d make some dumb monkey noises, wrestle with her playfully, and grind my hips into her backside. I’d then push her toward the door, swat her on the ass, and say that she should go visit him immediately. Heck, I even want to come and watch. And I’ll film it so we can watch it over and over again. I’ll even post it on the internet so the whole word can admire your love for each other.

    That would work for me. She would start laughing and get all gooey with me, telling me how funny I am. Last night, for example, I tucked her into bed. She asked me to say something nice to her. I said, “you are a whale.” When she made a pouty face and started whining, I said, “a whale swimming in a sea of love.” She laughed at how hokey it was and went to bed happy.

    A side note…..Earlier in the evening, I was with a female colleague. She asked me where I had met my woman. I paused, smirked, and said, “in a brothel.” My colleague grinned and shook her head, but she couldn’t be 100 percent sure that I was lying. She knows I talk shit all the time (and she loves me for it), but she, like all women, believes there is the slight possibility of truth in whatever you say, no matter how outlandish. Use that to your advantage. My colleague, for example, dropped the subject entirely.

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  60. Shit test her back. Playfully say something like: “You know, if I were a girl [or gay], I’d totally fuck him.” and see what her reaction is. If she agrees with you, she’s a slut; if she disagrees with you, she’s a liar.

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  61. This problem is the rock upon which most betas have splintered their ships upon since the beginning of time.

    A oneitis relationship graveyard.

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  62. Your senses are correct; you are at a dating crossroads.

    She is attracted to this guy and is shit testing you so must act.

    They’ve known each other since high school and have yet to sleep together so it sounds like she LJBF him and is now reconsidering for some bizarre reason. Try to find out what changed about him since high school that may make her reconsider her decision to not sleep with him.

    My recommendations:

    She needs to know that she is not the only option you have. Let her see you flirting with other chicks in front of her or let her see other chicks coming on to you. I mean who does she think she is? Because she is dating you she thinks she has a lock on you and she can see/do whoever she wants with impunity?

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  63. Been lurking for months, but this is my first time commenting.

    Book of Dooderenomy (BoD?) is right – you guys are all forgetting the fact that this guy is supposedly a cool masculine alpha. Making fun of him, no matter how subtly you try to do it is probably going to telegraph that it bothers you and that you care – instantly lowering your status relative to his.

    This one is actually easy, and I’m surprised there are so many chode responses. The key is to turn up the Aloofness and Indifference as soon as your spider sense starts tingling. Here’s a step by step of what I would do.

    1. If she brings him up again, smirk and tell her she’s cute
    2. when she asks why, tell her its cute that she has a crush on him. he sounds like a nice boy, so they should get married.
    3. Immediately start flirting with other girls in front of her openly
    4. amp up the rule of 2/3
    5. treat her like a brat (ala dave from hawaii)
    6. when the angry sex comes (and it will because the previous 5 steps are guaranteed to provoke the gina tingles), absolutely ravage her so that she can’t walk properly for the next few days.
    7. rinse and repeat

    Lastly, If you don’t currently have a lot of options since you’re in a LTR, then start going out and playing the field. It will subcommunicate in your body language that you’re not afraid of losing her because you can go out and find a new bitch anytime you want. In the event that the above doesn’t work, then if you get dumped, you’ll want to minimize the downtime between lays so again it pays to have the prerequisite two in the kitty, or at least begin preparing for it when you smell trouble in the air.

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  64. Before reading other comments:
    Your options:
    1. Make yourself look good (eg, DHV)
    2. Slight him.
    3. Slight her.

    1 is try hard and toolish/lame, 2 always makes you look bad, leaving number 3. With 3, she will think the flaw resides with her. If she thinks the flaw lies with you, her attraction for you will diminish.

    Give her a cold look of contempt, think Don Draper, but make it fleeting. Be somewhat more detached for the rest of the night, including a lack of interest in sex. Feign a lack of time for her all of a sudden, for vague mysterious reasons, so long as it was consistent with previous statements. Your actions must be prompt, otherwise she won’t adduce the cause of your withdrawal. When the time is right, re-engage (maybe 3 days later, probably a week, depending on how often you saw each other before).*

    *This seems like the sort of response that would come naturally to any man who respects himself and doesn’t take shit from girls. Basic, respectable response.

    Telling her something like, “oh, you should fuck him” is glib and doesn’t change anything. I’ve done it, though in not-quite LTRs. Little effect.

    After reading comments: Derogating him in a very roundabout way won’t make you look lame but I don’t see it dispatching the fundamental problem. I doubt you can erode this years-long intrigue. And you should be mildly flirtatious with every girl in conversational orbit anyway. She’s already getting good consistent dick from you, so more of the same won’t change anything.

    Discussing ladder theory is retarded, you’re showing too much concern, that creeps girls out.

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  65. These answers are amusing. Something tells me that guns is gonna win.

    I suppose the Roissy answer is some trick like “I keep two in the kitty, so I put her on back rotation after having one of my semi-platonic female friends come over to help trim the hairs on the back of my neck and oops, that girl I am dating ran into her in my apt mid neck shave.”

    The question doesn’t state whether the old male friend and the girl you’re dating should meet, just what do you do in the crossroads. If you’re a mewling beta, be bothered, try to save it because you wuv her forever and ever. If you’re some sort of alpha, the crossroads are always apparent. You aren’t getting married, you aren’t going to settle down, so who cares, things just happen this way. The fickle tingle may be lost, female minds need deniability. So, it’s your fault anyway. Have fun, update resume.

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  66. Hasn’t Roissy said something along the lines of whoever controls the reigns of jealousy controls the relationship? You’re losing the reigns.

    1) Don’t take the bait. Don’t act squirmy that she’s talking about another dude. Try to shift the conversation in another direction without obviously cutting her off.

    2) Make her jealous. Later (that is, not as a direct response to this thread) talk about how you recently had a great conversation with an ex. Or make up a story about meeting up for a drink with a girl from college that’s in town for a couple days. Or simply be flirt with some girl the next time you’re at a party with her.

    This issue should be smoothed over without any dramatic, over-the-top reaction on your part. Everybody’s eyes will rove from time to time. That in itself is nothing to freak about. Deal with it and don’t stay jealous.

    If it’s NOT smoothed over, however, you might have a big problem on your hands. If she still won’t stop talking about the guy, then you’re gonna have to go drastic.

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  67. on November 18, 2009 at 2:00 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””’She asked me where I had met my woman. I paused, smirked, and said, “in a brothel.” ””””””””””””’

    I am beginning to think that might be where all the quality woman are.

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  68. “”Although, as with all women, you couldn’t be sure she wasn’t lying about the sex part””

    It takes one to know one.

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  69. ”””””””on November 18, 2009 at 1:55 pm Bon
    This problem is the rock upon which most betas have splintered their ships upon since the beginning of time.

    A oneitis relationship graveyard.
    ”””””””””’

    Deep thought by bon and truth.

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  70. One of the worst rookie mistakes a Beta can make is attempting to confirm whether or not his GF is interested in another guy. The fact that he’s mentioned at all IS confirmation. It’s concern, and concern is enough. The opposite of love is not hate, the opposite of love is indifference. If this woman was of such character that she’s sufficiently impressed and dedicated to your Alpha prowess, this would be reflected by her indifference to the guy. Women’s silence is more potent than what she willingly offers – there’s no silence here. You have confirmation, and getting her off regularly is no insurance that she’s not imagining this guy banging her while you do so.

    Women never send mixed signals, they tell you exactly what their intent is, they just do so covertly and you have to want to hear it. This woman is saying that you are not her primary concern – in fact she’s said it at least twice. In doing so she’s asking for your permission to be concerned about a potential competitor who’s ” a good looking dude with a stoically masculine personality.”

    So at this stage the real question that needs an answer is whether she’s worth the effort now that her desire has been compromised. Only you can answer this depending upon your present options and/or confidence in generating new options (i.e fresh women to add to the rotation). Yet another reason to date non-exclusively and Spin More Plates. The fact that you even are semi-monogamous enough to make this an issue puts your own judgement in doubt. The Alpha impulse of course is to possessively protect what is his from another competitor, but again, is what he’s got worth all that?

    You could argue that in cutting her off and removing your attention from her you’re conceding defeat to another Alpha, but what’re you losing? A woman who could be distracted from your influence by a”friend” she’s concerned enough over to complain about something he did which didn’t involve her? A woman whose message is that you are secondary to her concern for this guy by mentioning it?

    I think not.

    My advice would be to drop her back onto the bench and let another batter up to the plate. Maybe not an outright NEXT, but certainly put her on the bench for later consideration (if the sex was exceptional enough). In the meantime reevaluate yourself and how you thought she merited a semi-monogamous status to begin with. If a woman is comfortable enough to offer up how concerned she is about another guy, you’ve slipped. This is an indicator you’ve transitioned into that familiar monogamy. Women in a state of lust-fueled sexual tension and anxiety with high value Men don’t have other concerns. The ambiguity of a non-exclusive, non-comital arrangement fosters this anxiety. When a woman alludes that it’s she who is being competed for, this is a very clear sign that this anxiety has been replaced this comfort.

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  71. “Look, we’ve been seeing each other for a few months now. It’s cool. Of course we still find other people interesting and, let’s face it, attractive. If Megan Fox walked in right now and sat alone at the bar over there, I’d be hard pressed not to chat her up while you were in the bathroom. So I’m not upset that this guy is on your mind. It’s natural.

    “But if we’re going to go forward on this thing we have here, whatever it is, I’m going to need you to keep talk about this to a minimum. I’m not your gay friend. I don’t want to be your gay friend. I want to do other things with you. And to you.

    [Depending on the girl/woman, their might be an interruption at this point; an excuse, an explanation, whining, whatever. “Blah blah blah” catches the gist of it. If so, add: “Now don’t answer right away. I don’t want to be with someone who just says yes automatically on things like this.”]

    Now. Directly look in her eyes and close with: silence. This is key. Don’t leave it off, like, “Ya got me!?!” like you’re a drill sergeant. Don’t leave it off like you’re a salesman, though you are. Don’t leave. Don’t break eye contact. Don’t talk. Let her talk next. If it’s more excuses, back up to “I think you should think about it.” Take the pressure off; don’t put explicit pressure. You want her to be a bit unsettled. To avoid that unsettlement, she will probably eventually say something to the effect that she “understands.” Then let it go at that. You’re not angry. You’re not upset. You’re the captain, you’re in charge, you see shit coming and you deal.

    She’ll probably be too caught off guard to respond and up the ante with something like, well, where are we going with this? But if she does that, say something like, we’re going forward, you and me. Something that sounds firm but is really too euphemistic to be called on. If she presses, then you know you’ve got one defensive woman who doesn’t like being called on anything so it’s probably even more important that you deal when shit like this comes up.

    Anyway, the main thing is to nip it in the bud, to demonstrate courage in dealing with shit right then and there. Your exact words can vary a bit.

    (For some reason I’m thinking of the post a few months ago about how having a dog is good practice for having a girlfriend. Alpha’s deal. All the time.)

    Oh yeah, with regard to the if-it-all-opens-up-right-then-and-there-about-the-future, the main thing is, again, to deal with it, but on your own terms: We’re going forward. I have a plan. It’s a good plan. It’s good for you, for me, for both of us. Now is not the time. No, it’s not a secret. All in good time. We’re not there yet. Here’s where you can break eye contact and ask about desert or something.

    After dinner she’s going to go over this with her girlfriends and they’re all going to tell her how you’re such a great guy/what did you expect him to do?/you can’t talk about other guys in front of guys everyone knows that/etc. etc.

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  72. @ Frost

    Very much agree. Immediately start a suppressing counter fire. Put some mud under her feet and don’t make her think you are going to be a nice flag stone for her to step on. I’d immediately begin flirting with other women.

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  73. Rollo,

    Whether she is worth it is a whole ‘nother question. Get the job offer, then you can talk about turning it down.

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  74. @ Guns

    I have no soul.

    Like


  75. I agree it’s a shit test. Obviously if a girl repeatedly mentions another guy she knows it’s going to make her man feel a bit jealous. It seems to me the way to fail the test is to respond in a serious way. Because then she gets to play the martyr and pretend that you are getting all upset about something trivial.

    The next time she mentioned that guy, I would be inclined to say “comon, quit making me feel all jealous about Johnny . . . am I going to have to cut his tires and go to jail . . . . again?”

    But I think the real alpha move would be to say something like this:

    “It sounds to me like you and Johnny would make a great couple . . . did you ever think about dating him?”

    You say it in a teasing/joking way.

    That way you are communicating to her (indirectly) that she is completely replaceable. If she gets upset, you can just say “ok, if you’re that hot for me then let’s agree not to talk about other people, ok?”

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  76. PS There’s this idea that if a girl doesn’t fuck a guy soon after meeting him, he’s in the friends zone forever. Not true for cool dudes. Circumstances may have prevented them from banging.

    Look at college social circles, girls may know a guy for months or years before kissing/fucking him. That is, if the chance came, she’d fuck him. Especially if say, he wasn’t around for a while (eg, studied abroad).

    Trying to frame him as a lame friend doesn’t work for that reason.

    Like


  77. on November 18, 2009 at 3:10 pm Wendy Schwartz

    I don’t get this conversation. No man OR woman should EVER compete with someone else for “love”.

    You make it clear when you are “seeing someone” that you don’t care if they’re monogamous, but you EXPECT to be number 1, first choice, and top priority. You also make it clear you would never compete.

    No one with any sense of self-esteem “competes” for a man/woman’s attentions. That’s seriously an automatic and deserved “pathetic” tag for life.

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  78. I would say that just her mentioning him is a shit-test and should be treated as such. That said, she’s with you for a reason and testing you for that same reason- she’s attracted to you but making sure you’re congruent with the “alpha-cred” you’ve displayed over the course of your relationship thus far.

    Provided the above is true I would take a different approach than the “text-book” way to respond to a ST. She already is into you, why blow yourself out over something so trivial.

    I’d take it as an opportunity to find out where her head really is in our relationship by saying something to the effect of: “you know, there are so many people in my life, constantly coming to me for help, and it feels great to be able to help as many people as I can, and I make an effort to assist them in any way that I am able, however, sometimes people just make it really difficult and those are the people that need to help themselves long before they’re able to seek help from a loved one or friend. I think your friend sounds like a good kid and you should do whatever you can for him, but at some point you’ve got to let people figure things out for themselves.”

    Obviously this would be said from an alpha, almost parental frame. After she hears this she will forget aforementioned dude even existed and you’ll be getting ddb eyes all night.

    No need to be cocky funny here, no need to even run any real game as long as u can identify it as a shit test. Also, you don’t have to mean what you’re saying, but it better fucking appear that way.

    TB

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  79. Basil,

    Per the hypo, you’re in the relationship several months. Slighting may help, and could be added, e.g. something about how he makes no moves and hasn’t had a girlfriend in such and such a time; how he failed to make a move on her/failed to recognize her [whatever great qualities she’s really vain about]. But, while you’re never past the decent slighting, in the main I think this is a test of your leadership.

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  80. i’d either undermine his masculinity/sexual potency (or image as a “doer”) with a seemingly insightful “male” neg or act as though i were listening while checking out the rest of the venue or place or w/e. the trick here is that you absolutely must keep it light — you -don’t- care; this kind of thing is inconsequential to you. keep it playful. be ready to change the subject, mood or frame on a whim and be innovative about it. a lot of this is just on-the-moment, practical confidence game: you either knock a home run when the ball’s played or you don’t. there’s no room for theory.

    also seconding rollo’s comment. start looking elsewhere for your main squeeze. if you ever even suspect you’re beginning to qualify yourself to her, ditch the whole thing. always err on the side of leaving her cold.

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  81. Two ways to handle this.

    Method A: (The Counter Approach) To get her lame, female mind off the dude’s jock, I start talking about my female friend from high school, the wonderful times and the almost perfect connection we had (as friends)….keep in mind this is contrary to how she’s been complaining about her guy friend. Hopefully the jealousy radar will tune in, and her one dimensional mind will get focused on the this girl that she saw me “happily” talking about.

    Method B: (The Cold Approach) I can also pretend to be completely “oblivious” to what she’s ranting about. Every time she brings the dude up, I pretend to listen to her for a few seconds and then immediately withdraw myself from the conversation while taking a big yawn (showing her I am bored). Ignoring her enough times will probably shut her up.

    I personally will pick approach A

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  82. Frost,

    I don’t know. Maybe you’re totally right. Maybe I’m taking this way too seriously. Maybe I’ve fallen into a beta trap.

    But I figure, per the hypo, you’re a little too far along in things –months, banging, etc., to just laugh it off. It would seem to come off as too sociopathic. I’m thinking there’s got to be a time to throttle that back. She’s drifting. But there’s some connection. You’re take seems to be like open warfare; comes off as immature I think.

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  83. as an addendum, trashbagz’s plot would work far better for the average former beta than mine because running the game i outlined involves a kind of genuine disattachment to reality — a lack of any investment in her person or the relationship. it’d be too easy for someone to try and replicate that and go too far, and with one wrong move you’ll blow the whole thing by communicating that you’re actually threatened.

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  84. In my experience, J R and BackdoorMan have it right.

    About 75% of my friends are male, some of them I’ve known upwards of ten years, so this situation has happened repeatedly.

    If any of my lovers or boyfriends flipped a bitch-switch and started trying to game me through the tactics used in the majority of the comments here (and it has been attempted), my ‘gina tingle for them would significantly plummet because they felt threatened by this guy.

    Jealousy is not attractive, not alpha. It’s insecurity. It’s observable worry that some other guy is somehow more desirable than you, and that worry makes it true.

    Total apathy, usually served with a side of rough sex that leaves me bruised and covered in bitemarks. Reminds me who I belong to.

    Any other games make you look like a chick, at least in my experience.

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  85. I noticed I didn’t really put my answer up earlier. My response to this is to go right back to basics in the book of Alpha.

    REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS: REWARD her for opening up to you; give her validation and relate to what she’s saying. Show more interest when someone gives you what you want, and PUNISH by putting your interest elsewhere when she doesn’t. [Read that sentence again, guys. When she’s giving you what you want, she gets MORE interest, more interaction. When she’s not, your interest goes someplace else…this is the logic behind everything from backturns to not calling for two weeks. AFC’s CLING TIGHTER when they don’t get what they want. Alphas move on to someone else; you’re the Leader…people are either contributing, or they’re out in the fucking cold.]

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  86. A lot of these responses are too extreme. You’re running with the assumption this guy is a legitimate threat. These responses where you blow up or playfully push her towards this guy sound terrible and/or pathetic. The right way to act is to change the subject with a touch of indifference.

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  87. Well first off I stop saying gina tingle… what the fuck
    plus “she orgasms wantonly when penetrated by the tumescent expression of your silverback essence”???? maybe you should be writing romance novels

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  88. i also feel “indifferent” or noncommittal game only works smoothly if you’ve been running it the whole time, otherwise a dichotomy between how you usually act and how you’re acting now she’s brought up a challenger will be immediately obvious.

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  89. on November 18, 2009 at 2:27 pm Antonio (in DC)

    In a healthy relationship you must instill dread.

    See: http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/03/27/dread/

    Don’t address this guy. Don’t ever mention his name, he is a fucking speck on the bottom of your shoes. The more you believe this the more she will believe this. She brings him up? you re-frame She keeps going? you agree and amplify.

    Her: Hey, so Kieth is going rock-climbing again, he told me about this time he fought off a mountain lion and blah blah blah
    You: (big smile, NO hint of anger)Yeah, Kieth is great. I think I am going to fuck him. Right in his ass. He is so cool.

    Granted, not everyone can honestly pull off that line, yours should be funny and have 0 bitterness. I hope that line is not misused.

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  90. Well now I remember. This happened to be twice with my first serious girl friend. She wanted to run off with an old teacher from high school. He was 30 something and we were both about 20. She ended up coming back to me but I did mention I liked her girl friend and was thinking of starting up something with her. It was true. She was real understanding that night. The next day she was absolutely out of her mind.

    The second time around was an old boy friend that she just could not get into because of his ectomorph frame. He still was a sharp guy. I am straight meso. By then she was getting to be more a bag to me and when she said she was thinking of this guy and perhaps she should soul search it out, I said go ahead, you should. It was a shit test and she flunked it. When she tried to come back I was more or less saying you have got to be kidding? I let him know too and we compared letters. She was left with nothing. I became best friends with that guy.

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  91. Ignore him as an intruding alpha. The minute you treat him as such, the minute he becomes one and you become lesser. Keep hitting on other girls, keep two in the kitty. Not only will this help you stay secure and non-clingy, it’ll be a plan B if you fuck things up. If she complains again like that about him, grin and neg her hard. “I’m sure _____ would be glad to know he’s got another mother. Does he know you feel this way? Your matronly instincts are adorable.”

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  92. I’d defend the man in front of the girl; then try the following:

    * Have a guys night (whether indoors or outdoors) and invite him along with trustworthy friends

    * Ensure he isn’t an AMOG, let him have fun but hold your frame

    * Insert him into a male mutual respect ‘friendship zone’
    (Using potential guilt as a pre-emptive to weaken his frame when he is around her, not only women do this to men :-p)

    —-

    Defending the guy when with the girl alone portrays an objective view and that you’re not blinded-by-pussy (a beta trait).

    Inviting him to be part of your “tribe”, assuming he isn’t already will go towards making him a friend rather than any potential “threat”. Abusing the association of guilt with inciting a girl to cheat on a friend (as is commonly imposed by society) will lessen the odds of him making any moves.

    Remember: if she really wants him then she isn’t worthy of your time (or mine..). Just as women have time constraints on fertility, men have limited time when it comes to living – so forget about unfaithful, whiny bitches.

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  93. With a cocky smile, make a single joke with the tone of assuming she has already slept with him. Something like “He sounds like an asshole, but isn’t that why you fell for him anyway?” Her answer, and tone while answering, will tell you everything you need to know.

    Mad and defensive: slut
    Calm and vauge: probably used to fuck him, but it’s in the past.
    Laughing and joking: you’re in the clear.

    Pass judgement silently and proceed accordingly.

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  94. POF:

    ‘in my experiece, JR has it right’

    you’re not the first woman to say such a thing. and you won’t be the last.

    the problem with most of the advice is that people are acting as if this is some beta orbiter pestering this girl. that’s not a test of game. that’s everyday life.

    what if it’s not him who is the orbiter? what if the reason they’ve never banged is because he’s been busy banging and dating hotter girls? how do you deal with that? let’s say you’re a 6 or a 7, you’ve managed to get into a relationship with an 8, but this interloper is a solid 9. what then?

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  95. First and immediately, start talking about a girl in class, at work or whatever, and start talking about this attractive girl with the same whiff of ambiguity that she mentions this mysterious man with. Make sure you establish that this girl is obviously into you, and act like she is being an annoying little brat with obvious attempts to get into your pants (like you haven’t noticed her attraction for you, but you constantly have to “fight her off”)

    BONUS – Start casual conversations with women and make sure she finds out about it. Have a flirty text conversation with a girl who your girl KNOWS is attractive and a girl who she is intimidated by and then leave your phone on the nightstand for her to see.

    Then, encourage her to go marry this guy. Tell her that she might want to fix her hair before she goes to flirt with this guy and get him to marry her. Lean back and smile as you say something like, “If he can stand you for more than 10 minutes, I say go with him! Marry him! Have his babies!”

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  96. The situation is sticky:
    *She is letting you know that she has options.
    *She is treating you as one of her friends and not as the alpha you are. (“OMG, this guy, yadda yadda.”) Which means that she recognizes you as one of her friends… which means that this is the source of the problem. No matter what, reassert alpha in all context of the relationship.

    The resolution is clear:
    *Let her know that you have options, but…
    – L Dub/ Basil Ransom/etc are correct. This is isn’t a bar; attacking him directly will make you look defensive and beta.
    – Attacking her head on will make you look defensive and beta.

    Therefore, be subtle. It’s all about the measured responses.
    *Lose interest in the conversation. Never give longer than a three word answer. “Sure, sounds great.” “He sounds nice.”
    *Subtly, let your gaze fall on the hottest girl in the room.
    *(Credit MeMyselfI) Flirt with the waitress. If she’s not hot, at least perk up and smile when she comes to the table. Watch her go a second or two longer than normal.
    *Cut the evening short.

    Then call up the girl you’ve been seeing on the sly and bang her.

    *Ignore your main girl’s calls for at least two days. Don’t apologize during her inevitable bitching.

    Repeat if she brings up this guy again. Like a subconscious Pavlovian response, she’ll learn.

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  97. Let her finish her complaining, let a semi-long pause pass and then one word should suffice

    “and?” said in a tone that implies that you are asking her why the fuck you would care about anything she was just complaining about. Bored with a hint of disdain.

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  98. Look her straight in the eye and tell her, deadpan: ” I want pictures.”. When she responds with “huh?”, expound with “If you’re going to sleep with him, I want pictures.” Then hit on the waitress.

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  99. on November 18, 2009 at 2:45 pm Antonio (in DC)

    fuq.

    Some beluga whale of a woman startled me and my response was prematurely sent.

    It boils down to this: You can not talk the gina out of things. If you choose to deal with this and use indirect alpha maneuvers (like instilling dread) keep in mind that you will have to do it again whenever another alpha comes along. Believe it or not there are dudes out there that are more alpha than you. Guys like… me. Anyway, if you have to remind that chick why she was with you to begin with. She obviously has the attention span of a goldfish gina.

    One last bit, to complete the exam: Recall the 16 poon commandments and FUCK HER GOOD.

    We’ll see how much she wants to hang out with Kieth when she can’t walk straight.

    Like


  100. I haven’t read any of the other comments, so here’s my answer off the top of my head.

    After her monologue has gone on for a few minutes, look her in the eyes, and with a deadpan expression and tone of voice say, “Wow, that was fascinating —- Let’s fuck”.

    Like


  101. roissy

    … you begin to wonder if she harbors latent feelings of attraction for him. You’ve met the man, and he is a good looking dude with a stoically masculine personality.

    Girls don’t ever ljbf guys like this. They’ve either rapaciously fucked – and she’s lying – or he’s a gaylord. It’s the latter. Maybe she wants the three of you to go camping, lover, and he’th too thy to athk.

    Scenarios like this don’t bother me. She’s usually running her own game, shoring up her position, looking to make her New 2009 model year FuckMan jealous, surreptitiously mentioning a guy she knows is good looking, yet secretly, she knows is no sexual threat. Women are fucking evil that way.

    The following suggestion works, if you’re a scary dude:

    Throw her some calculated “jealousity crumbs” to stroke her twisted, warped, female ego. Lead with snide, jerkish dinner table inquiries. When she’s sufficiently stroked, give her The Fuck of The Century later. Ride her hard – put her away wet. Yank her hair. Call her “CuntGirl,” cum on her eyeball, leave bruises.

    After all this, if she’s still really looking to bone some guy she had years to bone in the common era before Firepower (B.F.), and disrupt a current Love Affair – she can have it.

    how long
    has this been
    going on?
    don’t admit
    that it’s part of a scheme
    but i can’t help but have my suspicions
    cuz i aint quite as dumb as i seem

    Like


  102. ”””””””’Seeking Alpha
    @ Guns

    I have no soul.
    ””””””””’

    Oh shit you sold the whole thing to get where you are like it showed in the movie. Got to be original and just sell increments with a time limit he he he

    Well that means you really better enjoy the limited time you have on this earth then doesn’t it?

    Like


  103. Without having read any of the above answers:

    I’d start by making my displeasure known (e.g. let her know I don’t stand for other guys trespassing on my territory), but not make such a big deal that i’d be starting a fight over it. Then i’d cancel a date night on short notice, for a “guy’s night out” on the town, go out to a club and enjoy some female attention. Simultaneously, i’d flirt with some of the women who are after me to get one of them to leave some ambiguously flirty comments on my facebook page, and then maybe go out for dinner or a drink with her to boot. The trick is to let just enough evidence float to the surface so that she knows other women vying for your attention, but not enough to where she thinks that you’re dogging her out.

    Like


  104. Ah the green eyed monster!

    Though women hate jealous men, they definitely do not want a man who shows absolutely no jealousy whatsoever because then she will interpret it as:

    a) he doesn’t care about me at all so why continue this relationship.
    or
    b) he is just too naive and stupid to trust me 100% of my paragon virtue.

    So showing a hint of jealousy from time to time in a relationship is good, however in the scenario above, I assume that these hints did not pay off…therefore, it’s time to roll the big guns out as a lot of women create jealousy ON PURPOSE in men (40% of the times) just to control him.

    The best way to handle this is to get a hot female friend of your own and become close to her and start talking about her as if you two have a “buddy connection” growing between you and your so called “friend”….what women fear the most is losing their alpha man to a hotter & more attractive rival.

    in the end, if she simply doesn’t care then she wasn’t for you to begin with as not every girl is necessarily good for you so break up with her and ignore her…the best punishment is to let the other guy keep her and not turning into an Othello yourself!

    Like


  105. Ignore it. Get a female friend to have coffee with. Give yourself options and her jealousy may save the relationship if it’s worth saving.

    Like


  106. In real life, it makes a huge difference whether you feel threatened by the guy or not. If you don’t, his “interloping” is cute, almost like a mouse that comes up to a cat to be played with.

    But if you do feel threatened by him – that’s when you need your a-game (assuming you want to keep a girl who lets these guys hang around).

    Like


  107. Sigh. Who cares about this situation. If she wants to be with him, let he go. I have other options.

    Like


  108. J R,

    “you’re not the first woman to say such a thing. and you won’t be the last.”

    Love it.

    “what if it’s not him who is the orbiter? what if the reason they’ve never banged is because he’s been busy banging and dating hotter girls? how do you deal with that? let’s say you’re a 6 or a 7, you’ve managed to get into a relationship with an 8, but this interloper is a solid 9. what then?”

    If I was doing this to one of my guys and they did not immediately slide me into their second- or third-string, I would lose respect for them and, therefore, desire for them. Drop me down, make me fight to get back in their good graces.

    Like


  109. The only problem with the answers of showing alpha aloofness and giving the rogering of her life is if she catches on what elicited the response. If she is an evil bitch and connects your actions with her ramblings about the other man, then you pretty much failed the test. If she is a sweet girl, with less foul intentions…then the remembrance of gina bruising animalistic sex will reign over all other thoughts. So, I guess the question is if your dealing with an evil bitch or not?

    Like


  110. reframing the question, have you ever been the other guy ?

    the other guy knows he can bang he, provided she is assured of secrecy, and knows he can take her away from you, provided he gives her assurance (which he can fake…) that he will compromise. the guy will remain over you two like a dark shadow. you will get bitchy anytime he is mentioned, or at least you should. the other guy knows her in msn and facebook, and he knows that a new tagline is enough to create a safe justification for her to call him where he will be playing at home

    since she knows both of you in bed and in social events, the only way to out-alpha remaining is by out-earning him. is she worth it? actually, unless you seriously out-earn him, you risk facing him in social events. you can´t underestimate how does it feel to shake hands with a guy who banged your girl and is considered superior by her.

    what to do, then? finish with her. but don´t tell her. start playing the field again, in anticipation of the break up

    Like


  111. You ignore it, no signs of concern or jealousy. What you learn from it is important though, a woman who has a high interest in you will not discuss another man in this manner. Time to back away, but do so in a subtle manner, it may be time to trade her in!

    Like


  112. Obviously the first thing you must 100% be sure to do, and what we can probably all agree on is that you shouldn’t react too quickly or from a position of insecurity or give her the impression that you’re worried about losing her to this guy.

    Past that…getting her to verbalize how she doesn’t like him would be a good strategy. Just joke with her about how it sounds like she has a crush on this guy i.e. “Look at you go, you totally have a crush on this guy!” (said with a smile and not a hint of jealousy). Since she was complaining about him a lot, it will be a natural enough joke to make, and it will more than likely result in her denying it. It’d work better if the guy and other people she knows are present though.

    Plenty of other strategies though…befriending him would totally work, as then he would have a loyalty to you and you’d be able to manipulate the social situation to eliminate as much of the mystery surrounding him as possible.

    I feel like ridiculing him will almost always be interpreted as insecurity on your part since he’s not beta, so I’d use it as a last resort.

    Like


  113. Speaking more generally than Roissy’s specific scenario, sometimes when in a relationship and your wife/girlfriend is in contact with some very attractive guy and you see some potential for cheating, you just need to cut it off. Issue an ultimatum and make her choose. Yes, its a beta thing to do and, yes, you will take a hit in value. But not as much as you will with some other guy’s penis is inside her. If she chooses you and if there is anything left to your relationship, you can rebuild your value later. The important thing is to cut off access _now_. Unless your wife is heading out to the clubs (a very bad sign), she won’t have regular chances to cheat with attractive guys, so you _will_ have a chance slowly build up your value again ala Dave from Hawaii.

    Also, the key to minimizing the damage to your alphatude is to be resolute and matter of fact and make her choose quickly. Don’t plead and don’t let her drag things out.

    Like


  114. This actually has happened before to me and my husband. He has always done one of two things: 1. ignored it/showed disinterest (Eyes glaze over, start wandering around the room, forgets what I said) or 2. asked me what I liked about the guy and encouraged me to explain my feelings, followed by sex.

    If the girl loves you and you are happy together, she’s not going to cheat on you. Showing your displeasure is stupid, as is all the advice to flirt. She’s either trying to make you jealous (and so you should ignore her) or just having a little sexual fantasy which she doesn’t intend to act on (because 1.she’s known the guy a long time and never slept with him and 2. is telling you about it), meaning she wants sex.

    Most of the commentators seems really insecure.

    Like


  115. I have to admit, I don’t really see how Thursday’s suggestion is beta. Well maybe if you issue an ultimatum and present it as a choice. But if you just say ‘no you cannot see that person’, is that any different than how our alpha role models from 50 years ago would have handled it?

    Like


  116. sometimes when in a relationship and your wife/girlfriend is in contact with some very attractive guy and you see some potential for cheating, you just need to cut it off. Issue an ultimatum and make her choose.

    I agree with you that sometimes in an LTR/marriage a firm request or an ultimatum are called for, no matter what value hit you take. Sometimes you have to lay down the law, and not be cute about things.

    But a “ground rules” kind of thing can preempt the problem. It should be understood that your wife may not have any one-on-one contact o fany kind with males she is not related to. If she loves you, she won’t want to anyway.

    Like


  117. Well yea if you have already commited your life to her and this actually came up. You could say no you can’t talk to this dude (and be disapointed in her). If you have not yet then you should do yourself the favor and get rid of the bitch. As you can see from ab they know what they are doing and so do you.

    Like


  118. Actually that’s a good point Guns. I’m thinking from the perspective of someone already committed to the relationship, but for someone you haven’t been dating very long…

    well I don’t know that I would just straight cut it off but neither would I say he can’t see her.

    Probably the best thing is to ignore it (outwardly), change the subject in a bored way, but keep an eye open for future instances.

    Like


  119. Either she is 1) sexually interested in this guy and let’s it slip by talking about him or 2) she is shit-testing you with some jealousy game.

    My guess is here is probably 2) but my ex-gf used to talk about a coworker all the time. I assumed it was case #2 and usually ignored it, made fun of the guy (toolbag), went out without her, hit on other chicks, or some other don’t-give-a-fuck reaction. Turned out he weaseled his way in and ended our relationship (but that was because of my horribly beta reaction).

    If you’re worried about that, a stern angry confrontation with the girl might shake her up and let her know you’re not to be toyed with. You have options and can walk anytime, and have no desire to tolerate her stupid crushes. The key is to avoid coming off as jealous, but rather, annoyed with her immaturity. Don’t plead, beg, or negotiatie with her.

    Case #2, she’s testing you, and trying to make you jealous. She craves attention.

    Either way, flip the script. Have female names call/text you when your phone is sitting out. Ignore her calls late at night. Let your phone “die” on a friday night. If her interest level is high, she’ll get scared into confronting you about it, and will re-affirm her committment to you with some hot banging. If she’s not worth it, she’ll leave for the other guy (like my ex)

    Like


  120. on November 18, 2009 at 3:37 pm The Book of Dooderonomy

    In reply to Seeking Alpha’s comment above, “I have to admit, I don’t really see how Thursday’s suggestion is beta. Well maybe if you issue an ultimatum and present it as a choice. But if you just say ‘no you cannot see that person’, is that any different than how our alpha role models from 50 years ago would have handled it?”

    ULTIMATUMS IN THIS SITUATION ARE BETA. Roissy said that she “she doesn’t bring him up often,” and in this situation, all she was doing was commenting on a random thing he did wrong.

    How would this play out in real life?

    Her: I can’t believe John didn’t send Jane a thank you note for the gift she gave him for his birthday!
    You: NEVER EVER SEE THAT GUY AGAIN! This is an ultimatum. It’s either him or me!
    Her: Why the fuck are you being an overacting bitch? Bye, don’t ever call me again.

    Ultimatums, in the right context of a situation can be ALPHA. If you overreact in other situations, you’ll get the BETA stamp of disapproval.

    Like


  121. Actually, my suggestion is pretty beta. But sometimes emergency measures are needed. If some other guys penis is about to enter her vagina, the point is to get her away from that situation, because once outside sex happens the relationship will not recover.

    My suggestions is probably most applicable to a long time married couple where there are still significant bonds between the couple.

    [editor: agreed. your suggestion should be used for established LTRs. yours is mutually assured destruction; it risks making the man look beta but if he sticks to his guns and convinces her he will leave if she even thinks about cheating, then she will bend to his will. otherwise, the relationship blows up.]

    Like


  122. It should be understood that your wife may not have any one-on-one contact o fany kind with males she is not related to. If she loves you, she won’t want to anyway.

    i don’t agree with this. it implies that once a woman becomes your wife she should immediately ditch all aspects of her old life and her life should revolve completely and totally around you.

    that may work on a woman who wants that, but how many women are out there like that anymore? most women expect to have parts of their life (work, friendships, family) that are not about you. personally, i don’t find that threatening or at all improper. in fact, i prefer it. it does, however, require that you keep your game tight.

    either you refuse to have anything to do with a woman who doesn’t fit the PA/Dana mold or you simply learn how to handle situations like this one.

    Like


  123. @Thursday

    I agree its an issue if she spends any time with him. He is alpha material. In his presence what ever you are running so is he in some way. Also he is the new guy and you are the old guy. If she is one of those who chases that high then she will. So you must never allow the “friend date” to let him work on her. If she does then you stir up the hornets with your own “friends”.

    Like


  124. @ JR “either you refuse to have anything to do with a”

    Refuse to marry… big difference

    @ Dooder

    I agree with you completely. I think some of us were talking more generally about dealing with a male friend during a long-term relationship.

    Like


  125. Agree with Book here

    Roissy made it pretty clear that she isn’t constantly talking about this guy and hangs out with him on a semi-regular basis.

    An Ultimatum at this point seems like a massive overreaction – that screams of insecurity – that screams of beta

    This is a shit test on her part to gauge your degree of jealously (jealous men = insecure men = beta men)

    Show her you don’t care about whatever the fuck this other guy did and express disdain that she is wasting your time complaining about him.

    Like


  126. Expanding on what I wrote above a little, I think we were reacting to this line of thinking that has been mentioned several times, most recently by MKS:

    This is a shit test on her part to gauge your degree of jealously (jealous men = insecure men = beta men)

    While this is correct early on when you haven’t committed to her and shouldn’t care, further on in the relationship, letting her do whatever she wants because you don’t want to come off as jealous is not a recipe for success.

    Like


  127. @JR

    I guess that is why it is nice to have a Russian wife. Also where does she get the time? With a job and a family, I hardly have time for friends of my own sex and the same with her.

    Like


  128. SA:

    i’m talking about marriage. i can’t imagine myself with the ideal 50s housewife anymore than i can imagine myself with a ball-busting, feminist shrew; so, the PA/Dana type of marriage would bore me and i’d definitely end up cheating with more interesting women.

    now, that’s just me. every man should make the effort to know himself and figure out what he wants.

    Like


  129. Take another girl (preferably hotter and younger, keep some friends like this around, even let them in on the plan they’ll enjoy it) out to lunch or some other LJBF type date but borderline LJBF. The date should be ambiguous if its a friend date or more than that. Let your gf find out, but be careful to not make it obvious. Example:

    GF: Lunch today?
    You: can’t, meeting a friend for lunch, she’s only in town for this week. You got me thinking when you brought up what’s-his-face that I should really catch up with some old friends

    Gauge her reaction. Jealousy, you win. Apathy, then her interest level is low and she’s already banging the other guy

    Like


  130. @The Book of Dooderonomy
    I disagree, he also says “that you are at some sort of dating crossroad”. “Danger is in the air”.
    If it was a situation you described, why would he even bother making it a “test of game”?

    Like


  131. ARM’s solution: ignored it, made fun of the guy (toolbag), went out without her, hit on other chicks

    This is a perfect example of what is wrong with most of the commentators’ advice. Your girlfriend was giving you signs she wanted attention and affection/sex, so you act like you don’t care about her (and maybe publicly humiliate her by flirting with other women in front of her). This is exactly the sort of situation in which women cheat. You were especially wrong since she obviously had another option (the coworker), so by you acting like a jerk he immediately looks much better.

    If your girlfriend is sexually satisfied and gets enough attention from you, she will not cheat or leave you. It’s up to you.

    Like


  132. JR
    what is marriage then?

    it is ludicrous to say spouses cannot demand of each other that they not have congress with members of the opposite sex, the entire NOTION of having “friends” of the opposite sex is brand spanking new. go find me a housewife in the 50’s who just “hung out” with an unmarried guy alone and talked to him on the phone.

    an LTR is NOT a marriage, so obviously it has no rules–BUT, if you are going to invest time it should at least be an audition for marriage and a woman who keeps dicks in a glass case is simply not marriage material.

    i never understood ppl who entered marriage with “safety valves”–secret accounts, just in case male friends, escape plans. why get married? you didn’t mean your vows and have no intention of sticking around for the long run.

    Like


  133. @ Seeking Alpha

    I’m not suggesting letting her do whatever she wants. However in my opinion what she is doing wrong here is wasting your time complaining to you like you were one of her girlfriends.

    Gossip is for chicks to do with chicks… her complaints sound alot like gossip to me

    Like


  134. The keys are to pump her attraction for you by 1) negging her and 2) reinforcing preselection by flirting with other girls. You do this while simultaneously finding ways to subtly diss/beta-ize him in her eyes. Then fuck the shit out of her that night.

    Like


  135. I would make fun of her.

    Oh… that’s so cute! Did you write about this in your diary?!?!

    “Oh my god I was walking down the school hall again and Chip totally didn’t look at me when I flipped my hair and popped a bubble with my gum!!”

    Your like this little puppy orbiter. I can totally help you get him. You need to go outside of his window one night with a boom box held over your head playing Peter Gabriel’s song “In Your Eyes”.

    Like


  136. Tell your girl you watched Chasing Amy the other night, and if he’d be interested in helping her earn her Chinese Fingercuff badge.

    Like


  137. on November 18, 2009 at 3:58 pm The Book of Dooderonomy

    @The Book of Dooderonomy
    I disagree, he also says “that you are at some sort of dating crossroad”. “Danger is in the air”.
    If it was a situation you described, why would he even bother making it a “test of game”?

    ***Maybe because out of all her guy friends, this is the one she mentions the most – which still may not be that often? Maybe there is always danger in the air when their is an equally alpha male in question?

    Remember, he said that “though your evidence is flimsy” you THINK you’re at a dating crossroads. Maybe you’re not at a dating crossroads at all and you’re over thinking this.

    I think this is a “test of game” to see how many guys would overreact at something that doesn’t need to be reacted to at all. Overall, just from skimming most of the comments, at least 75% of posters failed.

    Again, like I said in my first post, you’re best bet is to defend the guy, befriend him if he’s cool, and then proceed living your life like normal.

    Like


  138. on November 18, 2009 at 4:00 pm Cannon's Canon

    reframe his strengths in terms of a max one-rep squat.

    several days later, mention that it’s almost time for your annual one-rep max squat workout. don’t hint at your number until she asks.

    Like


  139. Seeing if quotes work [quote]your girlfriend was giving you signs she wanted attention and affection/sex[/quote]

    Ughhh, so many things wrong with that statement. Don’t you think there are better ways to give someone hints that you want attention? You think the proper way is to act like a whore and hint about another man?

    Like


  140. on November 18, 2009 at 4:07 pm The Book of Dooderonomy

    Huh, my bad on some of the grammar in my post, I was typing quickly. One “their” should be “there” and one “you’re” should be a “your”.

    Like


  141. This is a tricky one.

    It is all contingent on your established level of alphaness. If you’re alpha enough you can tell her to keep his name out her mouf, and she’ll listen. If you don’t occupy that position, you’ll come off as insecure. If you overestimate your alphaness, expect her to hammer on that soft spot like a prizefighter honing in on another boxer’s split-open eye socket.

    But let’s say you’ve established middle-alpha status. It’s best to remain rational and not assume the worst. You can’t ignore the issue, but you can’t overreact either.

    In these situations I side with the guy. I’m obviously not rooting for the guy, but I’m not going to vicariously AMOG him because it does nothing for me. If she’s complaining about something stupid he did, I take the side to defend him. She’s shit testing you and whatever thing he did that could possibly elicit such strong feeling in her is being fueled even more by her anger. If you detach her from that anger by making the guy seem not so bad, he loses all of his cache in his eyes.

    You also obtain higher status by not being threatened by the mention of his name.

    Like


  142. Yea really

    She could wear something sexy
    she could trip fall and land on his dick
    wake him up with a blowjob
    when near him she could always manage to somehow have her hand touching him
    Give him the sexy look

    Like


  143. Anonymous: Ughhh, so many things wrong with that statement. Don’t you think there are better ways to give someone hints that you want attention? You think the proper way is to act like a whore and hint about another man?

    Yes, there are many better ways. But I was talking about the real world, not one in which people always behaved rationally and with careful thought: especially since we’re talking about women!

    She’s not even necessarily consciously aware of her feelings. (When I want sex, I’m not even aware of it half the time until my husband points it out based on my behavior). To be happy in any relationship, you have to read the signals of your partner, rather than waiting for them to explain everything to you. Isn’t that the whole point of game?

    Like


  144. dana,

    “spouses” can demand whatever they want of each other. i’m only talking about me and my personal preferences. and i should mention that any foreign women that i’ve ever dated had a large mixed-sex group of friends from her own country. these were women from very traditional societies. in fact, the reason that they socialize that way is because one-on-one dating isn’t really accepted.

    from a larger practical concern, if a man followed your advice and eliminated from consideration all women who don’t fit your criteria, he would be left with an impossibly small pool with which to work. the whole point of employing any sort of LTR game is to make the best out of the situation you’re in. if you marry the ideal 50s housewife, then you can feel free to play the beta provider who displays just enough alpha to keep the worst from happening. the whole point of this conversation, and this site, is that women now have choices; therefore, you’ve got to step up your game to remain her top choice.

    that life is not for everyone, but personally, i’ll be holding it down until the casket drops.

    Like


  145. MeMyselfI is how I would play it.

    I was actually challenged by one of the hotter girls I was seeing at one time. She told me about some guy she was working on some project with. He had a crush on her. He was good looking, but beta, nontheless. I met him, was friendly towards him, and while sharing a cigarette outside, told her just how cute I thought he was, and that she should give him a chance. I splooged inside of her later that night and made her buy plan b the next day.

    Don’t give any power to the other suitor by acknowledging him. Tool him if he challanges you.

    Like


  146. Thoughts about this,
    if a girl is talking about her good friend, i think that’s an unintentional shit test to see what you are made of. Do not ignore her talk, i think she is subconsciously testing you and you need to set your standards. Its not a threat, its nothing to be jealous about, it’s your time to shine and put the things to the right place, where they belong. Be clever and don’t overdo it, to be sneaky and playing asshole game will self select out the crazy ones.

    Like


  147. If you’re man enough to lose the homophobia.

    When she complains about him:
    “You don’t have to try so hard to make him look bad. He won’t steal me away that easily.” 😉

    and go about my business.

    She cheats: i can do better.
    She doesn’t: fabulous.

    Like


  148. It’s a shit test alright, and at a relationship crossroads, or she hopes that it is. She’s maneuvering to make it so, perhaps unconsciously, as Roissy intimates.

    I’m thinking the guy is Roissy several months in with a good girl he’s currently seeing, or one from back when. Regardless I’m gonna assume that alpha has made no exclusivity pledges and neither has she, but he feels sure she’s been exclusive – while alpha hasn’t been. She’s been afraid to broach it, not wanting to queer the hot thing she’s got going and which is emotionally deepening. So she’s instinctively jealousy shit testing R, I mean alpha, into she hopes pledges of exclusivity. Hers but then this. But this may all be just quite instinctual or mostly so. “I bet he DOES want me locked up for him”…

    So the challenge is to make her feel even more that she’s yours without passing the relationship crossroads in the way she wants, by your pledge of return, mutual exclusivity. Your underlying frame should be that quality girls can only have intimacy bonds one alpha man at a time; quality alpha men can go after more than one hot girl. So tease her about him, “Lusting after your other boyfriend are you? ” “Such a slut.” You want her getting defensive. No he’s just a friend. No I’m not attracted to him (even though she is some, but she chooses you). Tell her what a loyal good girl she is.

    As well do play up anything beta he’s said and make fun of it, while agreeing with anything alpha.

    Also yeah flirt with other girls as per MeMyselfI in the first two comments, and do take her home early without sex that night.

    But you should leave it clear that you expect loyalty. If on further subtle probing it appears he’s a possible threat AND you care about your relationship with her continuing, then you should tell her not to see him. The way Steve Johnson lays that move out above is good:

    “Oh, person x? Don’t see him anymore.”

    What tone to use? As Caesar Milan would describe it, calm dominant energy.
    ***
    What if she freaks or says your overreacting? Don’t answer. Let her say what she wants and repeat. Then declare the subject closed. She doesn’t actually comply and stop seeing the guy? Well, then you’ve already lost because she is willing to risk your wrath to see some other guy.

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  149. i commented before reading others’ comments so as to not be swayed by anything. i noticed that there were a lot who advocate for flirting in front of her. first, when has this ever been a “last ditch” strategy? Haven’t we always been flirting in front of our women?

    Women aren’t dumb. If she starts mentioning this guys name and you start laying it on thick with the waitress, she’ll put two and two together and know she has you.

    Like


  150. Since it’s been a few months of solid banging twice per week, and assuming I’ve been applying the DEVI model of Daniel Rose for locking in MLTRs, I wouldn’t worry about the very low probability of her straying.

    If the mentions irritated me I’d be more aloof and make sure the value exchanges stayed tight, i.e. her supplicating.

    Like


  151. it implies that once a woman becomes your wife she should immediately ditch all aspects of her old life and her life should revolve completely and totally around you.

    She should! Otherwise what’s the point, from your perspective?

    how many women are out there like that anymore?

    Again raising the question, “why get married?” That there aren’t a lot of women out there worth marrying isn’t news.

    most women expect to have parts of their life (work, friendships, family) that are not about you. personally, i don’t find that threatening or at all improper. in fact, i prefer it. it does, however, require that you keep your game tight.

    That’s fine so long as I get to have sexytime parts of my life that aren’t about her. Hope she doesn’t find that threatening or improper…

    Like


  152. Get his name wrong. Confuse him with a lesser alpha with beta qualities in your common sphere.

    this, combined with the peeing while sitting thing.

    let her go about her business. if you catch her lying or cheating, peace-out on that bitch.

    Like


  153. not sure what a guy could do ….why is this bothering you exactly ? is it because she is attracted to him ? is that so horrible .

    ive done this before .. iwould say call her out on it but not in a mean way or in a way that can be percieved as jealous

    hint that you think he is out of her league …

    Like


  154. Poetry of Flesh said:

    “Total apathy, usually served with a side of rough sex that leaves me bruised and covered in bitemarks. Reminds me who I belong to.”

    I totally agree. To me, I’m the sexiest motherfucker alive. I’m not worried about anyone else. If there is some small chance that my girlfriend does cheat, there are millions of beautiful women on this planet.

    Like


  155. JR–

    i’m only talking about me and my personal preferences. and i should mention that any foreign women that i’ve ever dated had a large mixed-sex group of friends from her own country. these were women from very traditional societies. in fact, the reason that they socialize that way is because one-on-one dating isn’t really accepted.

    If a woman goes out and socializes in a mixed group on with a group of girlfriends to bars or clubs without you in the insane (for husbands or LTR bf’s to put up with) girls night out, you are VASTLY increasing the chances that she will cheat on you after awhile. yeah even if you’re alpha, if the relationship has some legs on it.

    And guess what, female cheating has gone way, way up from what it used to be.

    Like


  156. @Chuck

    Actually she wouldn’t with me. The reason I would be flirting would be for more practical reasons such as having a rapport for next week. The key to getting it right is that it is no act. That she is jealous is the more incidental of the two. As long as my women is around there is no need to go back. The real issue is that at anytime a women in my life is thinking of someone else, she is no longer the center of my world. When a women loses interest in me, I lose interest. She can’t even compete with me yanking myself.

    Like


  157. @ nadia

    If he is out of her league, yet you are dating her, wouldn’t you be essentially telling her that he is a better catch than you.

    “hint that you think he is out of her league …”

    Excellent way to make sure her gina tingles for another guy

    Like


  158. I do have a question after reading 1/3 of the above comments. How to handle a situation where the girl is throwing this kind of shit test out of fundamental insecurity that she’s underqualified to date you? I’m guessing MM would say, work on qualifying her better. But that doesn’t address the immediate problem of the test. Given the motive, she’ll just keep amping the deception in the face of confident disbelief.

    What ended up happening for me was, eventually, believing her and displaying passionate anger. Which resolved the issue favorably, but was more hassle than I would’ve preferred. Any shortcuts for next time?

    Here are my revised thoughts after reading the comments. For the immediate shit test, pass via indifference and aloofness. It’s not overt enough to justify outrage or any detectable reaction. A great way would be warmly discussing how irritating some high school chick friend was to you, since it’s a congruent segue. I still think given the months of LTR momentum one should be skeptical of the threat. However her behavior isn’t overt enough to be a deliberate attention ploy so you may want to reevaluate her LTR worth. Use jealousy, value exchange management, and powerful sex to cement your hold, if you decide she’s worth it.

    Like


  159. And Roissy’s already weighed in on the issue: “When she attempts the jealousy maneuver by flirting with another guy, act unfazed. Give her pickup tips.”

    Like


  160. Rollo Tomassi FTW.

    Like


  161. “hint that you think he is out of her league …”

    good lord it blows my mind how awful some of this advice can be.

    Like


  162. “It should be understood that your wife may not have any one-on-one contact o fany kind with males she is not related to. If she loves you, she won’t want to anyway.”

    I thought you were supposed to be a fucking Pollack. But that attitude would be completely ridiculed by just about all the Poles I’ve known (who are still _very_ family oriented ) as the kind of attitude typical of peasants or mafia wanna be’s.

    The idea of hoarding a female like a squirrel hoards acorns is exactly the kind of attitude that made Iran and Saudi Arabia and Pakistan such wonderful places to live…

    I realize that the socialization of both females and males has been degraded, but the glories of western civilization were built on _not_ treating every other man as a sexual threat (the jealousy poison that ruins predominantly Muslim societies). And besides locking the windows and doors from the outside whenever you leave the house, how on earth do you propose to carry out your little burqa fantasies?

    [editor: burqas and stones may break her bones but game will always win her.]

    Like


  163. I would jump out in front of the issue, openly identify her interest in the guy in a non-accusatory manner, and declare that we should have dinner with him. Don’t betray that you’re the least bit suspect unless she equivocates on including you in her interaction with him. Joining them will give you an excellent opportunity to project alpha dominance, size up the relative threat, and read their physical and verbal communication for clues to the true nature of their relationship.

    While maintaining alpha status is more important than being a gentleman, the aforementioned tactic works on multiple levels. As an alpha, you’re supervising the nature of the contact and gathering intelligence. As a gentleman, you’re supportive of her social life and eager to befriend her friends.

    In the spirit of being more alpha than thou, Roissy will probably prescribe some hysterical over-reaction that throws this minor sub-plot of the relationship way out of context to make some sort of high ‘n mighty chest-thumping point. The science of game is an indispensible weapon in any man’s arsenal. But it can’t be the only weapon.

    Like


  164. Defend the guy in a subtlety tooling way.

    She says John did X. Propose a defense of John based on the notion that she shouldn’t be so hard on him because he can’t take it / help it / ect.

    John was probably just scared / flustered etc. She should remember that most guys can’t handle such situations. Leave unsaid that you can.

    Like


  165. “hint that you think he is out of her league …”

    good lord it blows my mind how awful some of this advice can be.

    i thought the same thing when i read that. the more i thought about it, though, the more it didn’t seem so bad. women’s egos tend to bruise much easier than men’s.

    if you can make a girl believe, or think that you believe, she is less attractive than she thinks she is, her immediate response is to try to gain your acceptance. it’s instinctual.

    Like


  166. AB–

    If the girl loves you and you are happy together, she’s not going to cheat on you.

    As a general statement this completely misunderstands female nature.

    It’s likely to be true in this case — sort of. Because the relationship is new. It’s likely to be true if she is in fact a quality good girl with a low numbers count and a strong bonding nature (or a few girls with higher numbers that can still bond strongly).

    What she’s likely doing here is probing for more commitment from alpha, in return for her promises to do the same despite ambiguous, maybe temptations. She’s making it that way to not appear too tempted — yet. She’s probing.

    However when a relationship has gone on for a good lot longer, usually a few years, two to four, women can definitely feel tempted to cheat with another alpha even if their primary is also an alpha. Of course they also fear losing what they have. American feminist divorce laws have made women far less fearful of losing his provider committments to her – the law extracts much of what she was getting before post a divorce esp. if she has kids or it’s a strong alimony state like California or Mass. Or Connecticut. If he’s an alpha she’ll also fear losing him, but still be attracted to a new alpha with diff. good qualities, if she thinks she can get away undetected. As women can far more than men.

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  167. Getting back to the question, my reactions would be either (depending on lots of variables you haven’t seen fit to provide)

    1. “Yeah, great” cutting her off before she’s done followed by a change of subject.

    2. The occasional ‘who?’ if she starts to talk about him.

    3. If she’s complaing “sprightly and histrionically” I might volunteer “sounds like a real jerk” and change the subject.

    4. If it gets too bad I’d break it off simply, quickly and brutally by slipping into buddy mode and remarking “You’re really into this guy aren’t you? when are you going to do him?”
    The idea is to let her know she’s gone too far and I’m done with her and showing her the door but being a nice guy about it. If she doesn’t get the message, I might refer to us in the past tense “Remember when we were still together and …..” all in a good natured unaffected way. Repairing the damage she’s done is entirely up to her and I’m walking if she’s not up to the task.

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  168. I think that this is a simple situation.

    First, you show that you are not threatened. You tell her how great it is that she stays in touch with high school friends. This accomplishes a couple things: i) she sees that you are not threatened and ii) it is a very subtle slight to the guy.

    Second re-frame and test:

    “She’s complaining about something he did which didn’t involve her, but her complaints are tinged with that peculiar female way of complaining — sprightly and histrionically”

    I am not sure what “he” did, but let’s assume that he mistreated a woman in some alpha way. You say the following, “He is probably just having trouble finding the right woman. You should introduce him to [Jennifer – a hot friend of hers]. We can go on a double date”. This reinforces that you are not threatened and that you view him as a weaker man that needs help that you, in your alpha magnanimosity, will provide.

    Now depending upon how she responds you will learn some new info:

    If she agrees to set him up with a hot friend, you can be pretty sure that she is not into him. You get to see the non-threat in person and have a chance to be the bigger man.

    If she agrees to set him up, but not with your suggestion rather some “nice” but ugly girl, now you need to worry a bit. She is looking for a head to head match up between you and suitor male. In this case you cannot back down. You need to stack the deck. You pick a double date that maximizes your positives. Also helps to call in a chit from a girlfriend (not known to your girl). Have her show up at the date site and her and her friends marvel in your awesomeness. You win the beauty pageant, move on.

    If she does not agree to set him up and shuts down the discussion, then the situation is a little more subtle. On one hand, maybe she is uninterested and there is no threat (unlikely) or on the other, she is far down the road, but wants to view him individually not in a head-to-head competition.

    Now you must bring out the right sticks and carrots. You need to show her that she does not have a free option while you enforce your awesome alpha-ness. Depending upon the individual girl, the right mix changes a bit. You start mixing nights of coming home with stripper dust with nights coming home with flowers [you get the picture]. After a period of confusing her and having highs and lows. You take her away for a romantic weekend as a reward. If properly executed, she has forgotten about him and she feels like you moved the relationship to the next level [or whatever femspeak she uses].

    Threat neutralized, you let her bask in the glow of the romantic weekend while you are out banging Jennifer.

    JB

    Like


  169. on November 18, 2009 at 5:43 pm It's My First Day

    When she brings him up, let her talk about him a little bit. Ask her a couple of questions about him that re-frame him as her friend based on what she says. After a minute or two of this change the subject. Repeat as necessary.

    Now at this point you are not in serious trouble, but you want to put out these embers before it turns into a fire. You have the next few days to handle this. Here is where you up the ante. The next time you talk to her (not during the conversation where she has brought this guy up – that will be seen as a transparent attempt to get her jealous) you casually mention the girl from work you went to lunch with today. Make sure you then do something fun with your girl and finish off the encounter with some good sex. Then disappear for a couple of days. Repeat this one more time, but switch the details up enough so that she doesn’t catch on to what you are doing. This should have her forgetting about this other guy in short order.

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  170. to dana, doug1, tarl and others,

    let me make an analogy.

    thirty years ago people drove american cars because that’s what there was. foreign cars were either crap or luxuries. because of that a guy with a high school education could get a job on an assembly line in detroit and be assured a very good living with great benefits.

    what happened? competition. that era is over and there’s no going back no matter how much obama and the unions want it.

    there was also a time when women married young and at the peak of their beauty. they found the best suitor they could, settled down and remained faithful. they really had no choice.

    those days are over. why? competition. women don’t have to marry at 21 or face a life of spinsterhood. we can fret and moan about this all day, but at the end of the day we only have so many choices:
    -stay single,
    -find one of the few remaining women who are content to be 50s housewives,
    -marry a shrew and be miserable,
    -or learn to deal with contemporary women.

    some of you may think that the last of those choices are impossible. that’s fine. as my personal preference is for neither 50s housewife nor feminist shrew, it’s the option i choose.

    again, it’s all personal preference. i have no desire to keep my wife sequestered away. if my game is tight, i don’t have much to worry about. and if she does eventually strays, then fine. i will not live in fear of the fickle ‘gina tingle. why? cause there’s plenty more out there.

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  171. The chick is testing guy A to make sure he’s the superguy she hopes he is because she’s falling for him. If the chick intended on banging the interloper then she would just do it. No need to continually bring his name up and cause a blip on guy A’s radar.

    I’m not personally concerned about the guys the girls’ I’m seeing openly talk about. If I was going to be concerned, it would be about the ones they don’t talk about. The secret ones if you will. Personally, to qoute one of my drill sergeants, “I gives less than two fucks.”

    This sounds like a shit test pure and simple. The relationship is going swimmingly, the sex is hot, and the affection is genuine. Out of the blue, at friggin’ dinner of all places, she starts chirping about some other dude. He may have come off as stoically masculine to guy A, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been, and continues to be, a sniveling beta to ole’ chickee poo.

    Why sweat the petty stuff when you can pet the sweaty stuff.

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  172. ”””””
    -find one of the few remaining women who are content to be 50s housewives,
    -marry a shrew and be miserable,
    -or learn to deal with contemporary women.””””””’

    But in all of those scenarios if the woman is intentionally disrespecting you in that way is it worth it?

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  173. JC

    This reminds me a story a guy, Jeff, told me. First, a little backstory: he’s mid 40s, got 4 kids from 3 different women, makes a couple million dollars a year and spends it all on strippers and booze. Money means very little to him.

    Do you know what he pays in child support a year for the 4?

    It is capped in some states but only at very high levels usually. Which is outrageous. If he didn’t marry them he should pay what he wants, so long as they don’t starve and he keeps the women off welfare.

    How many were “oops” babies?

    Like


  174. Sorry, I had to post in a hurry earlier today (hence the grammer fart – “your” -> “you’re”).

    Anyway, given the comments I’ve been reading, I thought I would elaborate on my original response to scenario…

    First, the way I read this is the girl is a pretty good LTR or potential LTR. So, no need to nuke it right away, on purpose or accidently. Anybody that wants to do this isn’t secure in their game or themselves.

    Second, if you respond to her *possible* shit test in *any* manner then you’ve given her the upper hand. Bad idea. Complete or near complete disinterest is the first order of business.

    Third, you don’t want to punish her just yet… she hasn’t done anything wrong as far as you know. Except be boring on a date (it probably won’t be the last time, either). This can be delt with later. She can be trained better over time.

    So, the purpose to my actions (above) is to take her down a notch – actually, just *half* a notch. I could go full asshole and deliberately hit on another target in the restaraunt, but this would be at risk to the LTR. My recommendations focused on being subtle, even accidental. If she (over)reacts to this I can say “I’m just being nice to the waitress, does this bother you?”, or “I thought I knew that girl, and even though I was mistaken, she wanted to give my her number… why be rude to her?”

    The key is to see what happens over the next 48 hours, or if she mentions the guy again the next time you go out. If she wants to see you or is worried about why the night was cut short, then you have her full attention. If not, then you know how to proceed in winding down the LTR (e.g. enjoy the sex until it runs out – unless you can determine that she’s actually banging the other guy then your done with her, off course).

    Anyway, hope I get an ‘A’ on the quiz. 🙂

    Like


  175. anal. no verbal response necessary.

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  176. JR–

    some of you may think that the last of those choices are impossible. that’s fine. as my personal preference is for neither 50s housewife nor feminist shrew, it’s the option i choose.

    again, it’s all personal preference. i have no desire to keep my wife sequestered away. if my game is tight, i don’t have much to worry about. and if she does eventually strays, then fine. i will not live in fear of the fickle ‘gina tingle. why? cause there’s plenty more out there.

    You’ve bought feminist stereotypes of what 50s women were like. They’re bs. As well there were 20s women. And 40s ones.

    But leaving aside history, yeah marrying an American high numbers slut is a stupid move. Marrying a girls night out in bars and clubs because you alpha and can count on her — stupid.

    You gonna have children with her? You gonna let her take more than half of your money and the house, if you earn a lot more than she does? You gonna be happy paying her alimony, as you move on to your next fish in the sea?

    Like


  177. But in all of those scenarios if the woman is intentionally disrespecting you in that way is it worth it?

    it depends what you mean by intentionally disrespecting. most of these responses treat roissy’s scenario as some grave trespass, whereas i just see a shit test with the possibility of something greater if i don’t deal with it correctly.

    and i’m guessing that 50s housewife nostalgia is overrated. who knows how many of these broads were cuckolding their husbands with the milkman’s kids. all women shit test. expecting a woman not to shit test is like expecting a man not stare at other women’s asses.

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  178. Well, reading comprehension fail for me. I skimmed over the histrionically-complaining-about-something-he-did-that-didn’t-involve-her part as just “chick noise”. But it isn’t exactly: I don’t get a lot of that kind of thing because I screen girls out that gossip about boring stuff early on: I’m not their girlfriend. So in my world, it’s a good story or she wouldn’t be bringing it up, or it just wouldn’t be registering on my radar. He did something outrageous that’s giving her the tingles.

    I’ll throw my chit in with the defend him crowd, but don’t argue or even say too much. Just maintain whatever he did is no big deal and smirk. She’ll start asking whether you’ve ever done that outrageous thing, and now you get to laugh at her.

    “Blah blah blah and Susie caught him with three other girls!!! In her bed!!! Videotaping the whole thing!!!”

    “Only three?” Smirk. Shut up. Try not to giggle.

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  179. I mean fuck I told a chick to go get another guy and she won’t. So what is the level of desrespect the woman is giving you if everything is going good when she brings up a dude?

    he he he

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  180. @Doug1:

    (Me):If the girl loves you and you are happy together, she’s not going to cheat on you.

    (Doug1):As a general statement this completely misunderstands female nature…

    Why do women cheat?
    1. Attention/emotional satisfaction (because they don’t get this at home): this is by far the most common reason
    2. Anger (to revenge themselves on their partner for something)
    3. Sexual satisfaction (usually because their sex life at home sucks; the desire for sexual variety in partners isn’t that strong for most women)

    If you are happy together, none of these will apply. Men might cheat just for a sexual thrill; women almost always cheat because they feel emotionally neglected.

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  181. @ Cwiff Arroyo And besides locking the windows and doors from the outside whenever you leave the house, how on earth do you propose to carry out your little burqa fantasies?

    I don’t do burquas. Burquas are ugly. I do LTR game. You jealous, beta bitchboy?

    Like


  182. As much as I appreciate Dan’s answer, I think my response would be an off-handed, very, very casual “I think you should do ahead and fuck him and get it over with.”

    Frankly, if I give a damn who she is fucking, I’m fucked…

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  183. As much as I appreciate Dan’s answer, I think my response would be an off-handed, very, very casual “I think you should go ahead and fuck him and get it over with.”

    Frankly, if I give a damn who she is fucking, I’m fucked…

    Like


  184. AB–

    If you are happy together, none of these will apply. Men might cheat just for a sexual thrill; women almost always cheat because they feel emotionally neglected.

    Wrong.

    Women are by nature serially monogamous in as hypergamous a manner as they can manage. Tends to work in about four year cycles. Not true of all women but is of most.

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  185. “Women almost always cheat because they feel emotionally neglected.”

    Where did you get this idea?

    I might argue also that men cheat more for this reason than do women.

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  186. That was to AB.

    Like


  187. are you alpha? do you have alpha cred? or did you just pretend to be alpha (read: game her) into falling for you?

    if yes, i’m sorry but this is where you become unstuck because all the negs, routines, bullshit moves you’ve pulled in the past mean nothing now – you’re still a pussy.

    alphas are comfortable in their own skin & self-assured.

    so you can do one of 2 things – you can maintain your alpha cred, humour her, be cool and not let it “destroy” you (as nothings happened)… IF you’ve got inner game that is.

    OR you can go into lone wolf mode & play some stupid fucking game thats NOT YOU, ignore her calls, NOT fuck her, or anything else that gives you some kind of imaginary victory over her mind & gina – and in the end only serves to deny your own pleasure. be sure to pat yourself on the back as you cry & masturbate simultaneously thinking about how you fucked up a great relationship by turning into a jealous, insecure & needy chump.

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  188. What do you do?

    tell her you were going to meet up at the bar on friday and ask if she would like to come so she can confront him in person.

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  189. ””””fucked up a great relationship by turning into a jealous, insecure & needy chump.””””’

    Not being able to get rid of a woman that disrespects you makes you a jealous insecure and needy chump.

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  190. Firstly, continue to ignore him and every mention of his name, do not rise to it. She is only wanting some type of reaction. Don’t give her this. In time she will then want to push you further to get a reaction, before it gets to this stage you take the game to her first. I would suggest blowing her off on a nigt that you had arranged together and then “genuinely” suggesting that she calls that guy or catches up with him. She will not expect this at all and as long as everything else you have done has been alpha she will never mention his name or think ofthis other guy again. If she does meet up with this guy then you know that she is an untrustworthy whore and you should never mention her name again.

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  191. @PA

    Spieprzaj dziadu!

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  192. Excellent grammar….

    For a faggot!!!

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  193. Me: What a prick, and he seemed like a cool dude when we met. You make him sound like he turned into a tool. Find a new friend.

    She doesn’t defend him – you got nothing to worry about.

    If she defends him –

    Me: Just going by your description. If what you’re saying is true sounds like he has issues. Stick to girls, you can understand them better.

    Change to subject and exude alphaness, maybe a tad bit more than usual. Fuck her good more frequently than usual. Wait a few weeks.

    Me: How’s ol’ what’s his face. Still pissing you off?

    Take it from there. It could go in to too many directions for me to elaborate more.

    The trick is to be on the look out for signs for good and bad. If she still talks about and then suddenly stops – you got issues. They just fucked and it is time for you to split and get it wet in one of the backburners you have been keeping warm. If she continues to talk but in a more LJBF way just act disinterested. Bleh!

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  194. on November 18, 2009 at 7:02 pm Bohemian Rockstar

    Just go Zen on her and say “I’ve always wanted an open relationship” wait a while for dramatic effect and say “how would you feel about that?”

    If she’s considering cheating, she left a long time ago and all you’re doing is fighting a rear guard action which is not from a position of power and is not attractive.

    Having options is power. Acknowledge the “red flag” and make contingency plans.

    Like


  195. on November 18, 2009 at 7:08 pm Bohemian Rockstar

    …even better, say “why did’nt you tell me we could see other people? damn, you should’ve told me”.

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  196. Czy nie stać cię na więcej, buraku?

    It is funny that you think you’re up to insulting me.

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  197. You don’t say anything about him to her face – act like he doesn’t exist. BUT do some snooping: maybe even taking a quick glane through her phone behind her back.

    This guy is clearly not just a friend. She has at least strongly considered fucking him. Even the most hapless beta should know that.

    After only a few months, if you find anything bad, let her go. That easy.

    Note: in a more established relationship, you might consider telling her you don’t want this guy around and putting your foot down HARD.

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  198. “if you can make a girl believe, or think that you believe, she is less attractive than she thinks she is, her immediate response is to try to gain your acceptance. it’s instinctual.”

    that’s true, but you don’t want to do it with her potentially-alpha interest as the pivot. the barometer shouldn’t be you either, i think — at least not directly. i would try to avoid comparing her to what she does or doesn’t “deserve” altogether (in the context of negging.)

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  199. Oh fer christ sake!

    She trying to see how invested you are in her and whether or not you a prone to jealousy. She’s used to men breaking and fawning over her at the thought of her leaving. It’s a shit test with self-validation component.

    Thus, solution, is to point out, subtly, that you have — and always have had — options and pull out the rug from under her on the comments because it is second-class behavior, and second-class behavior from a woman should never be tolerated.

    “You know darling, a man like me never lends his car and never kisses and tells. Assuming you don’t want to be spanked tonight prior to sex, you might want to can talk of xxxx.”

    In one sentence — you have class, you have prior experience, she’s been bad and you are offering an out. If it is delivered properly — calmly and with a touch of “don’t cross this line” — you will be surprised at the speed of the backdown and the intensity of the night’s sex. And a good spanking is sometimes in the making too!

    They almost never escalate if it a shit-test, which means if she does, something else is biting your ass, and we are off the scenario of the post.

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  200. Make her do the work?

    Ask: “I know you told me but, how come you two never got together way back when?”

    Let her go over the reasons she LBJFd him. The reminder would be helpful to her. Nod knowingly. “Hmm.” Change subject.

    If it’s because the other guy always had a girlfriend, “Was she hotter than you? or is he not the cheating kind?” A neg followed by a moral judgement.

    or if it’s any reason more vague, retort with “Ah, ‘he just wasn’t that into you’. Hmm.”

    Complaining about stuff he does….encourage her to share her feelings with him on the subject next time you’re all together. Might not change her feelings towards him, but might put him off her.

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  201. @Ek Guapo: You pretty much get it right, but as I said above, in this short of a relationship I would really think second class behavior MIGHT deserve the boot right away.

    Clearly if you are more invested laying down the law, as you suggest, is the way to go.

    I really piss myself LOLing at the guys who think subtle remarks are the way to handle a girl while in a LTR with her.

    Like


  202. Sounds like something has made him seem more alpha, let’s look at three possibilities:
    1. He was cheating on one of her friends: “He should have talked it out with her instead of trying to make her jealous”
    [I know he should NOT try talking it out, but it matches what she been taught SHOULD happen.]
    2. He shows up with new girlfriend, who is hotter than your GF: Openly number close the new woman, tell GF “I thought we might ask them along sometime.” [Decide on possible followup with new woman later.]
    3. He really has increased his alpha cred, say won Nobel Prize or starred in hit show: Keep working.

    Like


  203. Jealousy is a weak mans emotion. If you allow her words to affect you emotionally then she will use it to destroy you.

    I suggest a nice jealousy plotline, flirt with other women in her presence, make her work for your attention.
    As for the guy, I suggest using a “straw-man technique” building him up to be all these great things he could never live up to. She will try to disagree.

    If she continues to go after this man, keep her on the backburner and don’t talk to her for a week or two. Always keep 2 in the kitty so you don’t feel the need to talk to her.

    Like


  204. Whenever I see a ‘Put your foot down!’ context, it gives me a flicker of unease or incomprehension. Should she really need that much persuasion?

    Shouldn’t she be the overall dynamic be such that it is one where she is trying to prove herself loyal to you, and you not caring as much? So that if you do hint at disapproval or her lacking awareness, she’s the one who suggests dumping the threat to her cred with you? Or feels that any other options to her are inferior?

    I remember a certain alpha seeing this happen with hopeless sluts. The more you show a willingness to leave her, the more she clings exclusively to you. I suppose it might depend on the woman.

    Also a phrase that would work on me which is what many have hinted at is ‘That’s what I would do’ so that she associates any attraction to him to being attracted to you. Because she’s thinking you’re clearly the only man in the world she could really be attracted to. If that makes sense.

    Like


  205. Interesting comments…but perhaps I have something to offer that the other commenters don’t—personal experience. This happened when I was in college with a girl I had been fucking for a weeks. Years ago before I even knew what Game was. She brought this guy up a few times, while were studying together and then twice again while we were at a coffee shop. I never betrayed any hint of jealously—stayed fairly stoic for a 19 year old. I then told her that since she apparently had a crush on him, we could both go over to his place and if I was feeling nice I’d let him hold my coat while watching me bang the shit out of her. We shared a good laugh and this whole thing got put to bed. That night I took her anal virginity—I totally laced that ass. Two weeks later I traded her in for a better, more loyal and more fuckable model.

    The caveat here as that I said it in a really lighthearted, jokey way—and I’m really good at pulling that off. If that’s not your style, then maybe going that hardcore can’t work for you.

    Just my two cents.

    Like


  206. Anything you say to try to discredit him will produce opposite results.

    She isn’t fucking him, but if you get your panties in a bunch she will be.

    Women need SOMETHING to fixate their emotions on. Tap the brakes. Cut back on the phone calls. Only see her 2 out of every 3 times you normally would.

    Cut back just enough that it will cause her to wonder what’s up with YOU. Pay attention to her reactions. Adjust accordingly.

    She doesn’t need to be punished or rewarded, she needs to feel a renewed sense of competition anxiety.

    Fight fire with fire.

    Like


  207. Don’t get insecure or jealous.

    If you do become jealous, you give your power to the woman; you should ask enough questions to figure out what her relationship was with the guy. If you think she is honest, take it for what it is – if you’re standards are you don’t date women that sleep around, dump her. If you are okay with her sleeping around, then stay. If she’s lying, then ignorance is bliss, but don’t be naive.

    If the the relationship spiritless or she owns your manhood, move on.

    Like


  208. First off, when she starts going on and on about how he annoys her, say “Damn, he’s really his own man!” If she shows you a picture of him, chime in with “Wow, he looks a lot like Johnny Depp in that picture!”

    Then tell her this story: “You know, I had this girlfriend in high school and we never had sex either. But then I saw her again, years later. At first we were hesitant about trying to reconnect, because she had this new boyfriend that she was kinda serious about. But eventually, we gave in to what we both knew we wanted and we started making out. And then we had the most mind-blowing sex ever. It was freaking amazing! I think it was because of all those years of pent up desires finally unleashed.”

    Yep. You see, if we’ve been dating for a few months, then now is the time to start thinking exit strategy.

    Yes, yes, I know, the sex with her is great and she’s lots of fun to be around. But understand that we’re only about a month or two from hearing her say, “I know we said we wouldn’t do this, but . . . I think I’m falling in love with you.” Which means “Have you ever thought about leaving your wife?” can’t be far behind. (For you rookies out there, trust me, saying “No, I’ll never leave me wife” won’t end the discussion. It just means that one day you’re going to look out your front window and notice she’s been parked in her car for hours across the street.)

    So obviously we must take full advantage of this golden opportunity and play secret wingman for this guy. Now, don’t fret, we’ll still be able to fuck her occasionally (secretly, of course.) After all, our hooks run deep. The best part is, fucking a girl who doesn’t belong to you is even more satisfying than fucking her as your girlfriend.

    Like


  209. I would take what she is doing as an opportunity to instill dread. If she’s bringing the guy up constantly clearly she’s got the tingle for him and has thought about what he might be like spreading her legs.

    I would call her on it the next time she brought him up, no overreacting but just enough to let her know that I’m in control. Something more on the lines like…….

    Me: Hey what do you think your doing? (no raising of the voice but authority is there)

    Her: (a little confused) What do you mean?

    Me: No really is this a game, because I don’t like games. I really thought you a little more mature than this. (shaming her)

    Her: I’m confused….

    Me: Are you? (Looking into her eyes hard, not allowing her to shake her eyes from me). This is the x time I’ve heard about (blank) and to be honest I have options i could excersise too.

    Her: What’s that supposed to mean? (sounding nervous)

    Me: (Getting up putting on my coat walking towards door) I tell you what let me give you a call later. (Closing door not listening to what she says next.)

    Her: WAIT !!!! (shrilly voice)

    At this point I would ignore her calls for a day, abruptly answering saying hey I’m busy I’ll call you later, ignore texts and not call her for the whole weekend. When I did see her I would be aloof and go in the other room to take phone calls.

    I predict that she would understand that I had options, and she would give me mind blowing head quickly.

    Like


  210. Rollo: “My advice would be to drop her back onto the bench and let another batter up to the plate. “

    Win.

    BDM’s approach is also good. I don’t know how anyone could possibly be faced with something like this without making fun of the silly female, or like someone else said, gangbanging her with her “friend.” Actually, suggesting that would be a good source of jokes; “does this mean we can do a threesome with your hot friend as well; sweet!”

    Crude chest thumping, “him or me,” crap is just absurd, unless you’re living with her or something, in which case you’ve already lost the battle of wills. Negging your rival; no matter how clever you are at it, is going to be perceived as a sign of weakness and insecurity, because that is what women do.

    Also; in terms of self reflection, and I think Rollo is very right that you should reflect on such matters. For example, why is this woman talking to you about trivial stuff, rather than doing useful housework? Female hen-like clucking sounds can be most unpleasant to listen to, even when they reveal useful information, like the fact that they’re enamored of someone else. I think most men should opt for hearing them as little as possible.

    Like


  211. on November 18, 2009 at 8:43 pm unlearning genius

    dude, if you have to actually care about this … you aren’t alpha enough … nuff said.

    Like


  212. forgot to add when i did answer the phone there would always be women in the background, laughing and giggling. maybe enlist a girlfriend (FWB) to yell in phone something raunchy.

    Like


  213. Sophia: “It’s called “faking it”.”

    “When a woman becomes a scholar there is usually something wrong with her sexual organs.”-Friedrich Nietzsche

    Like


  214. Ah, also; I’ve been looking for this website since the marriage threads:

    http://www.nomarriage.com/

    Like


  215. Get on one knee… and tie your shoe.

    If you think it’s a problem, it’ll probably become one. Just ignore it, and her, like usual.

    Like


  216. You’ve been dating a girl for a few months.

    The fuck I have. Test passed.

    Like


  217. Male Slavery….

    Paternity Fraud….up to 10% of Fathers not biologically related to their own Kids!

    Whoring pays

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/22/magazine/22Paternity-t.html?_r=1&hp

    Like


  218. I’m a woman but most of the guys I know who seem to be alpha males would probably, in this situation, say in a dismissive or bored tone that the guy sounds like a douche or a pussy or loser, and then change the subject to talking about themselves and something cool they did or whatever they wanted to talk about. Alpha males as well as normal guys interested in a girl will always put down other guys that are brought up in conversation especially if they think you might like them. I think it is habit or instinct.

    Either that, or if they thought the complaint was stupid, they would say that it was not a big deal and to stop complaining about it.

    Only a very insecure guy would overreact or freak out about something like this and if they did anything else to make a big deal about it, it would reek of clinginess and desperation.

    Like


  219. Express your interest in another woman.

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  220. Ok, since I am rather direct I would confront the issue. No dancing around:

    “Obviously you have this guy on your mind. If you want to go to him then go. But don’t expect me be waiting around.”

    Delivery is important. If you want more drama then be angry (of course then she’ll think you’re jealous and press her advantage at a later date).
    However, if you want to blow this guy out, then come across as bored and aloof. As bored as you’d be if she had just been reading a Jane Austen novel to you.

    Like


  221. late to the thread, but i agree with those who have said that dissing him is a DLV. let it roll off your back.

    Like


  222. This is no shit test. She has mentioned him at least 4 times on at least 3 seperate occasions. Talking about him at this frequency means that he is on her mind a lot. At minimum she is very intrigued by him. She probably even fantasizes about fucking him. That is the reality. You as an Alpha are going to have to deal with that situation.

    Like


  223. This isn’t hard.

    You’ve been fucking her for several months, time to drop her and go back to cruising the bars for the next conquest.

    Like


  224. Just respond:

    “Cool, introduce me to this guy, my bowling league needs another member. Oh, and BTW, if he gets you pregnant, I’m not supporting or raising his kid. Anyway, did you see those latest unemployment numbers, wow, the Dow Jones really took a beating today….. blah, blah…”

    Like


  225. on November 18, 2009 at 10:04 pm Passing through

    What I think makes this particularly difficult is the characterization of the prospective shit test as “unintentional.” A lot of things one might do could well be much worse than doing nothing — because doing the wrong thing might make intentional something it would be better to let pass in its unintentional form. Or is the intentionality or lack thereof immaterial to an imperative a shit test raises to respond?

    Like


  226. Just downplay the guy slightly but don’t go overboard as that might seem too reactive and insecure.

    Trying to pickup another women right then and there if the guy never done it before would make the guy seem too unsecure. Same for talking about other women.

    Even if she wants to invite him to some gathering with you and her there, you can always AMOG him by maintaining a strong frame, etc.

    Be like Hank Moody in Californication.

    Like


  227. And I agree, it doesn’t seem to be a shit test.

    Like


  228. Stick up for the dude, make a better defense of his actions than he could present for himself, but then criticize his method of doing whatever he’s doing. She will probably get pissed off at you. That is excellent. Four considerations:

    1. The fact that dude is being annoying is making her vaj tingle. This probably means he’s not shooting milk through his nose. It means he’s making his own rules and violating those set by women. She is “annoyed” that he’s breaking the rules. She’s also wondering how big his dick must be to get away with it.

    2. An eloquent defense of the justice of dude’s actions steals his thunder. “Everybody knows this, and I’d behave the same way. Spare me the surprise.” That puts you in violation of the same rules that dude is violating.

    3. By making the better argument for his defense, you are the stronger male in the pack. You’re basically telling her, “this dude has my permission to piss you off.”

    4. Subtly criticizing the way he does it can highlight the douchier, more beta ways in which this dude is inferior to you. “He’s right to take that position, but if he weren’t so insecure/angry/retarded then he’d have been nicer to your friend. Just because your friend was in the wrong doesn’t give him the right to be mean to her.” Plus, now you’re pissing everybody off but passing the judgment of Solomon. You are the alpha.

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  229. “What the hell, Benedicta McFicklestein? Last week you were telling me this guy was like your bestest friend since that secret talking faun in your backyard when you were 8 that only you could see, and today you’re ripping on him? Aren’t you a little more loyal than that?”

    Whatever denials, complaints, or faux-indignant noises come out of her mouth, cut her off in a teasing manner after 3.5 seconds to signal the waitress and order another drink.

    Like


  230. “” She’s complaining about something he did which didn’t involve her, but her complaints are tinged with that peculiar female way of complaining — sprightly and histrionically — when thoughts of the man who has annoyed her have simultaneously tingled her gina. Now she doesn’t bring him up often, but he’s mentioned just often enough that you begin to wonder if she harbors latent feelings of attraction for him. You’ve met the man, and he is a good looking dude with a stoically masculine personality. “”

    Don’t react , play it cool , listen and say little , then move on to the next topic.
    Though keep a mental note and observe carefully how she behaves with him next time you are there , or how she talks about him in the future.

    Like


  231. on November 18, 2009 at 10:48 pm Marcus Halberstram

    I am with unlearning genius. Real alphas have better shit to do with their time than worry about some guy their girlfriend hasn’t even fucked. If she ends up fucking him she’s a whore, not LTR material, and should be dumped anyway.

    Like


  232. You got this girl, you can get another. Always keep that in mind.
    T
    But this kind of shit test is nuclear, given the timing within the relationship. A cross road is looming up ahead and her hind-brain is aching for primal data regarding what his intentions ands abilities add up to.. “Is my guy really alpha enough to give real respect to and look right for a real LTR or should I dis-invest in him and enjoy a side-fuck with Elroy (or whomever).”? It will all be over but the prolonged agony (of some of the actors) within a short time.
    Like it or not, this nasty drama is routine in modern LTRs these days. It normally happens when the want-to-be-wifey feels the need to cut to the end of the script and say, ;”Well,why aren’t you marrying me then?”
    If you have a fallout shelter, learn to sleep in it. And keep dogs.

    Like


  233. on November 18, 2009 at 10:51 pm СОФИЯ/sofia

    ps my demolition of hope really got to you girls, eh? too much identification with the victim? the wagons are circling. good. i can feel your hate grow.

    What is this even in reference to? I don’t hate you at all.

    Like


  234. @Sofia:

    “What is this even in reference to? I don’t hate you at all.”

    It’s kind of hard to hate someone you only know through the internet, amirite?

    I’d just attribute it to Roissy being dramatic. What he said sounded a lot better. Plus, it might be a hint that someone else is next.

    Like


  235. who’s next? YOU’RE NEXT… ON MY LIST!

    Like


  236. The Book of Dooderonomy:

    I’d defend the guy’s actions, so long as they were short of murder.

    Right on. Alpha males appear, to their inferiors, to be all part of the alpha male conspiracy and back each other up. If a girl can get males quarreling over her, both lose status. Of course, males do quarrel over females, but unavoidably take damage in so doing.

    Like


  237. on November 18, 2009 at 11:15 pm СОФИЯ/sofia

    I just have no idea how Roissy’s purported “demolition” of Hope got to me or how that was even demonstrated. Or any of the other girls I blog with, for that matter. He just um, re-published some quotes from Hope’s putative ex-husband repeating things Hope said on her blog.

    Like


  238. I would jump out in front of the issue, openly identify her interest in the guy in a non-accusatory manner, and declare that we should have dinner with him.

    Oh Lord, why not offer to help guide his penis into her vagina while you’re at it?

    Like


  239. You should excercise one of the many tools in your arsenal of game. Occaisionally clam up and dissappear for a week or so.

    Like


  240. on November 19, 2009 at 12:17 am personal trainer

    Is this another dating crossroads in our relationship? Do u want to fuck other guys? If thats what you want to do, then u dont have to drop some guys name…Now give me head.

    Like


  241. Fuck man, I am glad I finally got to your blog (thanks to a friend.)

    Well, you could do a few things.

    1. Confront her. Then when she lies/tells the truth we all know to be true, blow about the room with the ferocity of silverback, make her submit, mount her casually while chewing a banana, then step off after you are done.

    …that one may work, I saw it at the zoo.

    2. Misdirection. When she brings this fella who she has obviously fucked (if not in the past, and not now, definitely in the future) you should break out the kettle corn, pour a glass of red, and listen intently. Regardless of the issue, when she talks about the guy she is really fucking in one shape or another, pay homage as if you are an interested girlfriend and NOT the angry boyfriend.

    …this one works on quite a few levels actually.

    3. How I would do it, recipe style. Mix equal bits of mad monkey, soul sister, sad bunny. Throw in a dash of sincerity, two parts guilt, just a smidge of shame, add 1/2 cup of “I will get along just fine without you”, blend just enough that the parts are combined but still a bit distinct. Served warm or cold…

    Like


  242. Further to my previous answer …

    ” Don’t react , play it cool , listen and say little , then move on to the next topic.
    Though keep a mental note and observe carefully how she behaves with him next time you are there , or how she talks about him in the future. ”

    Take her home , work your magic on her , fuck her doggy syle deep and hard and at the moment of her climax …. give her a donkey punch.

    Like


  243. “If you like and think about him so much you should go back to him.”

    Replace “back” with “fuck him” or “date” depending on the context. You’re alpha you have options.

    Like


  244. Kill him.

    Like


  245. Pony Boy, I’m going to assume you are not a troll but a naive kid who chose a random moniker. You should probably go and look up the meaning of the word pony boy in BDSM circles and then reconsider using that name.

    Like


  246. just man up about it ? if she s gonna cheat i would have another girl anyways

    who give a damn about some other guys , you have too much insecurity in the first place anyways

    i had date extremely hot girls before and imagine the kind of shit i had to deal with : 50 guys hitting on her daily , all these stupid comments on facebook she was like a donuts rolling down the street in Ethiopia

    here is my reply : any girls i run game on , i would root my hook so deep right at the beginning that once they break up with me it would turn their life up side down :

    get her emotional ,financially , physically , effort , time invested in me

    if a girl talking about another guy got you so reactive , my friend she s got your emotions hooked your man-gina tingled

    game for me isnt just about sex , its more about seducing the mind and soul of a person

    Like


  247. just man up about it ? if she s gonna cheat i would have another girl anyways

    who give a damn about some other guys , you have too much insecurity in the first place anyways

    i had date extremely hot girls before and imagine the kind of shit i had to deal with : 50 guys hitting on her daily , all these stupid comments on facebook she was like a donuts rolling down the street in Ethiopia

    here is my reply : any girls i run game on , i would root my hook so deep right at the beginning that once they break up with me it would turn their life up side down :

    get her emotional ,financially , physically , effort , time invested in me

    if a girl talking about another guy got you so reactive , my friend she s got your emotions hooked your man-gina tingled

    game for me isnt just about sex , its more about seducing the mind and soul of a person

    Like


  248. I can sense the presence of GNXP and Marginal Revolution nerds in the comment thread… ugh. Their cluelessness really shows in threads where actual girl experience is mandatory.

    Like


  249. Don’t focus on the other guy, flip the script and make her focus on you.

    Listen very carefully to what she is complaining about and then act in the same way that that gives her those tingly/pissed off feelings. Exaggerate the behavior that she is complaining about but don’t seriously provoke her. Just get her worked up a little. Tell her how cute she looks when she is mad.

    Laugh at her for getting mad over something that didn’t involve her. Mock her justifications. Let her know that if she wasn’t so nerdy it would be creepy. Ask her if she dresses in a chicken suit and stalks him at night too. Well, maybe not that, but make her qualify herself to you.

    Like


  250. Oooh, another Anti-Roissy blog awaiting inspection from proprietor of the chateau…

    ~

    http://idledisquisition.blogspot.com/2009/10/roissy-in-dc.html

    About Us
    “Idle Disquisition was born of a late-night conversation between three recent Princeton grads:

    Erica, originally from Brookline, MA, is a cognitive psychology graduate student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

    Nathalie, originally from McLean, VA, runs a high school writing center on the West Side of Chicago.

    Sarah, originally from Atlanta, GA, writes copy for a pharmaceutical advertising agency in New York City.

    Our conversation that night touched on feminism, religion, the culture wars, and other issues that are important to us – issues on which we rarely see eye-to-eye. The educational and entertaining discussion made us wonder why such conversation in our society is rare; people with differing backgrounds and views don’t often come together to talk about current issues in a civilized manner.

    This blog is a public telegraph system of sorts. It is a way for us to continue our conversation.

    We hope that the discipline of putting our thoughts into words will help the three of us become clearer thinkers. More importantly, we hope that this blog will motivate other young people across the country not only to talk about important issues, but also to open themselves up to other points of view, replacing gossip with disquisition.”

    Like


  251. in random news..women are evil…

    Like


  252. OT. More satire from the inimitable Daily Mash. This time on hypergamy. “SCIENTISTS PERFECT FEMALE LOW SELF-ESTEEM PILL ”

    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/scientists-perfect-female-low-self%11esteem-pill-200911182236/

    Like


  253. if he isnt gay just kill him, at least its not a hate crime

    Poetry of Flesh´s and Wendy Schwartz´s boyfriend would have to reach hitleresque levels of killing

    Like


  254. Agree and Amplify. This will make whatever she thinks/worries about ridiculous. Take it over the top, make sure she laughs and sees the light and that the only choice is you.

    Like


  255. pull her towards me so she lifts of the chair, then give an resounding slap with a flat hand on her butt-cheeks.

    “I think you like those slaps as you keep asking for them.”

    Do not accept any steps to dominating your relationsship, if you do you will be left with nothing.

    If you do not give any room the slap, will be rewarded with moist vagina.

    Like


  256. Sofia´s EMO looks compete with AOefe´s Ian from Hamburg looking avatar.

    also, wanna know what the definition of idleness is ?? Idleness is having time to find, read and recommend a blog by three women discussing current events. I can´t wait to have some free time to know what those three girls say about healthcare and the Afghanistan war.

    “When a woman becomes a scholar there is usually something wrong with her sexual organs.” quote of the month !

    Like


  257. if he isnt gay just kill him, at least its not a hate crime.

    Like


  258. If she doesn’t get the message, I might refer to us in the past tense “Remember when we were still together and …..”

    this is one of the comments That I have read here that fights for the prize “the most unrealistic comment ever”. This would work with someone trying to sell you some over-priced item, by leading him to lower the price.

    since Cliff is not that much experienced with women, he projects his experience with overpricers into women and we get such pearls.

    Like


  259. on November 19, 2009 at 7:39 am You Know I'm Right

    Roissy — you are too intelligent to be wasting anymore of your time with this PUA garbage. Stop contributing to the degeneration of White Western/American culture and start becoming a part of the solution.

    American White Nationalism is the future. Better get with it while you can, maaaan. – http://www.toqonline.com/2009/11/secrets-to-a-happy-life/

    Like


  260. Putting the guy down, even if it’s well executed, is still caving to the shit test. To me it doesn’t matter if the shit test is unintentional.

    Mild indifference would be my answer (partly because I wouldn’t know what to do). It’s probably mild indifference, not putting her on a pedastal, and being enough of an asshole that brought you to this point – why change?

    I’d just make sure that I’m not overacting when I show that I don’t care. I’d make a point of not showing any insecurity.

    Also, as you’ve said, have 2 in the kitty (or however it was phrased).

    Like


  261. Listen to her drone on.

    Go out on the weekend, pull some girl, fuck her brains out.
    Roll in at 3 pm the next morning.

    Wonder why the merry fuck one has a girl friend in the first place and wish the smuck will bump up his game, so you have a clear excuse to dump the bitch so you go out and fuck with pleasure and not worry about some extra variable sharing your bed with you each night.

    Or go and see your other girlfriend or two.

    Like


  262. Some of the advice here is stunningly retarded, e.g. “hint he’s out of her league”, “tell her to stop seeing him”, blatant attempts to lower his value, and displays of obvious anger and insecurity (masquerading as signs of no-bullshit-accepting and high standards).

    But besides that, the majority of answers are very good.

    Like


  263. on November 19, 2009 at 9:06 am Trail Mix-A-Lot

    This one’s pretty easy. Basically, “fall back” subtly, almost imperceptible, so as not to appear punitive.

    1) Take longer to reply to her: She calls around lunch, let it go to message, call back around 3 ~ 4PM. Ignore txt’s wholesale or reply 6 ~ 8 hrs. later

    2) Flake on 1 or 2 dates in favor of spending time with the guys, or even alone watching my favorite movies.

    “Oh baby, I’m just going to chill at home tonight, you always said you hated David Lynch movies anyway…”

    3) Put a little more into my workout. Go for the extra rep. Torture myself with one more cardio interval or 10 more push-ups. Get JACKED.

    4) Buy an item of clothing, a shirt for example, that she hated (“it looks dorky”), but you loved.

    5) Favorable but funny comment about the way one of her hot girlfriend dresses.

    “I know Amanda must wear thongs all the time, because you never see any panty-lines when she’s wearing tight pants!”

    6) When you do have sex… make it intense as hell, BUT have it be focused exclusively on your “nut”.

    Baby’s got snacks!

    Like


  264. Easy. Find this dude and challenge him to single combat. Once you win, take all his stuff and spend all his money on whores, ale and revelry.

    Like


  265. on November 19, 2009 at 9:16 am Trail Mix-A-Lot

    Also…. and most importantly…

    Say nothing at all about the guy she keeps mentioning….

    You say:

    “I had Elevation Burger for lunch today..” “Have you ver had Elevation Burger?” “Good-eatin’ burger… and the fries…”

    Like


  266. on November 19, 2009 at 9:19 am Catherine Omega Jones

    But …. this question is so easy. What would an Alpha do? well, what does James Bond do when he notices Vesper is still wearing a token from her Algerian boyfriend? He’s not bothered. Vesper’s with him now, not the Algerian. End of answer. Really, I can’t believe how many convoluted, agonising, whiny, bullying, self-justifying answers there are on this thread. Ask yourselves, chaps, would Bond do any of these things? No, Socrates, he would not. Hmm … maybe I ought to start charging for advice.

    Like


  267. would Bond do any of these things?

    It depends on which James Bond.

    Post-80s James Bond was cowed by Judy Dench’s “M”, failed Miss Moneypenny’s shit test, and fell in love with a girl who had been rogered by a North African.

    Would a 1960s Bond have done any of those beta acts?

    Like


  268. on November 19, 2009 at 9:52 am Patrick Bateman

    I agree with doing something like the fall back scenario and tracking her response. She’s proven she doesn’t deserve to be treated as well as you’ve been treating her so demote her. You should be fucking other women anyway. If her behavior doesn’t improve, let her find clues to your cheating and then follow Roissy’s advice when a woman accuses you of cheating. She’ll know you did it, but rationalize to herself that you didn’t and will desire your cock even more.

    Like


  269. I agree with doing something like the fall back scenario and tracking her response. She’s proven she doesn’t deserve to be treated as well as you’ve been treating her so demote her. You should be fucking other women anyway. If her behavior doesn’t improve, let her find clues to your cheating and then follow Roissy’s advice when a woman accuses you of cheating. She’ll know you did it, but rationalize to herself that you didn’t and will desire your cock even more.

    How is this “helpful” advice? MOST women don’t really care if a guy is cheating as long as she can ALSO cheat.

    And if you are both “seeing other people” then they are not your bf/gf anyhow and SHOULD be seeing other people. Fucking another woman never would and never COULD work in your favor.

    Most women either:

    1. Shrug their shoulders, tell every woman they know what a slimebag STD-spreader you are, and be disgusted at the idea of you touching her ever again….

    OR

    2. Don’t care enough to do that, but also don’t care enough to keep seeing you. You’re aware that there’s lots of attractive men that DON’T cheat, right?

    I really wish men would stop giving EACHOTHER the “make her jealous, dude it totally works” advice. Women don’t have to compete for “sexual attention”, we don’t have to learn game, there’s never a “dry spell” so why would you try to use “sex” as a weapon against the ladies?

    It’s like carrying an unloaded pistol.

    Like


  270. Some other answers, (Really this is only by holding the frame of your still qualifying her, which is something that is pretty much done for life with chicks, since one can never truly trust the little scamps).

    “When I suggested a 3 some, I didn’t mean me you and some guy you know, I meant me you and your hot friend xxx”

    “is he rich? You could string him along, milk him for cash and use it to buy me expensive stuff (big smile, like she has a mouthful of shi*)”

    “He sounds great, now pass the salt” – Sort of like seeing her has a cute annoyance, that is almost on the borderline of being replaced if she doesn’t turn off the record.

    “Mmmm yes chicken (or some other stupid name) sounds wonderful” (Whilst remembering fucking the hot young blonde girl you had at the weekend). Really not caring about her either way, too caught up in the zone of fuc*ing other chicks to really give that much of a shi*.

    “Does he have a hot sister, is she single”?

    Really though, this sort of action would relegate her to borderling Fuc*buddy, Time would be far better invested in taking out another piece of skirt, let her worry about if she wants to fuc* him or not. It is clear she has crossed a boundary anyway, women communicate rather freely their intentions, she is simply stating “You have competition, so smarten up your game”… My attitude to that sort of shit is….”this chick really has no idea, I’ve cheated on her more times than I can remember already and you’ve just given me the green light to do it again”

    Like


  271. Just a quick thought…

    Why all the shit talking?

    Comments like this:

    Really, I can’t believe how many convoluted, agonising, whiny, bullying, self-justifying answers there are on this thread. Ask yourselves, chaps, would Bond do any of these things?

    No shit. If we were all Bonds here, we wouldn’t be here in the first place, would we?

    We’re all here for the same reason: improve our relationships (whether casual or serious) with women.

    If you have a suggestion, or a critique, state it like a man.

    A little more camaraderie and a little less catty name-calling. At least while we’re discussing game.

    Catherine Omega Jones: Would Bond have written a whiny post on other people’s whiny posts? Or would he have, at worst, ignored them or, at best, offered helpful suggestions.

    Like


  272. Didn’t mean to make the entire thing bold.

    Like


  273. Act like the dude doesnt matter.

    Cut her off for 1 week. Freeze her out.

    Like


  274. It’s a shit test for sure. I would not want my man to go all ballistic with jealousy or say something dumb like “I think you like him, so go date him then.” I’d want him to act nonchalant, acknowledge what I’m saying, not react, but seem confident (even if he’s not) about my affection. Then he could say something like “I’m not a girlfriend, save that kind of shit for those bitch sessions.” He’d say this with humour, or slight irritation but he wouldn’t show me he had any fears. Then he’d grab me by the hair drag me to the bedroom and say this is what we ‘talk’ about. 😉

    Like


  275. on November 19, 2009 at 11:26 am СОФИЯ/sofia

    Sofia´s EMO looks compete with AOefe´s Ian from Hamburg looking avatar.

    Um, do you know what emo is? I think you just dated yourself. It’s also not an acronym for anything, it’s an abbreviation, so you don’t have to capitalize it. I’m smiling and wearing colour. I can’t help that I naturally have jet black hair by virtue of my race.

    Also, you realize quoting people is empty and there’s no real fact in it, just conjecture? Aside from that, people can’t decide between the fact that I have high-functioning sexual organs, or if I’m high-IQ. All I have to say is that people are dynamic creatures. Who knew?

    Like


  276. on November 19, 2009 at 11:31 am msexceptiontotherule

    “So here you sit at dinner with her and his name comes up again. And again. She’s complaining about something he did which didn’t involve her, but her complaints are tinged with that peculiar female way of complaining — sprightly and histrionically — when thoughts of the man who has annoyed her have simultaneously tingled her gina. Now she doesn’t bring him up often, but he’s mentioned just often enough that you begin to wonder if she harbors latent feelings of attraction for him. You’ve met the man, and he is a good looking dude with a stoically masculine personality…

    …You sense — though your evidence is flimsy — that you are at some sort of dating crossroad. You smell an unintentional shit test blowin’ on the breeze. Danger is in the air. Up to now, you have handled her very well. Your alpha cred is intact…
    What do you do?…
    Answer carefully. This will go toward your final score.”

    Hire a private investigator and have her followed, or inject sodium thiopental and start the questioning under a single very bright lightbulb in a filthy basement. Tying her up to a chair is optional.

    Like


  277. Wendy Schwartz, I hate saying this about any woman, is right.
    Deny her dick and she will get other dick.
    Be an ass and get no ass.
    Be a man think with your head and get head.
    Ignor the c-block, your getting laid, he isn’t.

    Like


  278. “I really wish men would stop giving EACHOTHER the “make her jealous, dude it totally works” advice. Women don’t have to compete for “sexual attention”, we don’t have to learn game, there’s never a “dry spell” so why would you try to use “sex” as a weapon against the ladies?

    It’s like carrying an unloaded pistol.”

    Now I see the reason for the reputation. You equate wrongly as if one drop of seed is like another. Stud males in any species that have desired traits are virtual Krupp siege cannons. That is the reason stud males are worth the most in horse racing. Its the best blue print. Fertile females are worth less than the top males. Lastly, the bottom males are good for kitty chow and glue.

    Seeing how women lose their minds to rock stars, you would think this would occur to you.

    Like


  279. Anonymous

    Wendy Schwartz, I hate saying this about any woman, is right.
    Deny her dick and she will get other dick.
    Be an ass and get no ass.
    Be a man think with your head and get head.
    Ignor the c-block, your getting laid, he isn’t.

    Minus those pesky
    spelling n’ grammar errors
    this is almost
    a passable imitation
    of me

    Like


  280. @ sofia

    if you-re-read Roissy´s posts you will see that a girl´s status, unlike a man´s status, is not lowered if she´s an EMO. Nonetheless, the overall tone of your answer was pretty EMO.

    are you a scholar?

    Like


  281. Wow, there are a whole lot of females commenting on this website nowadays. No wonder the overall quality of the comments has plummeted so much.

    Like


  282. Wendy Schwartz, I hate saying this about any woman, is right.
    Deny her dick and she will get other dick.
    Be an ass and get no ass.

    wendy isn’t even close to being right.

    Do you really think most women don’t care if you cheat; as long as they can indiscriminately spread their legs for strange dick as well? Seriously?

    This is some kind of grrlpower fantasy, where any guy can make them cum, and they can just grab dick from any streetcorner, because they don’t want to admit that they can’t have the men that they actually want.

    It’s the female equivalent of when men say that beautiful women aren’t worth it because they are ‘high maintanence’, when in reality what they are saying is that they think they can’t pull above a 5.

    Like


  283. The right course of action is easy, but as always the case with game, the execution is hard.

    There’s a reason she’s telling you this information about her other-friend and not keeping it bottled up. Did she complain about her other-friend problems at the outset of your courtship? Doubtful.

    She’s trying to elicit a reaction from you, and it’d be foolish to take the bait.

    After she’s done with her lament, say something along the lines of “That’s too bad, I hope everything works out”. Then abruptly change the subject to something amusing – like a prank you pulled on a co-worker or a time you did something crazy with a friend.

    The important thing here is that when you change the subject, you are redirecting the mood of the conversation from downbeat to upbeat. As a man with a stronger frame and an enjoyment of life, you refuse to get sucked into her world of trifles. You’re going to have a good time and while you acknowledge that her other-friend histrionics are annoying, it’s all part of the game.

    After you’ve changed the tone of the discussion, flirt with her, sleep with her if you can, and end the evening with poise and composure. If the conversation took place late night and she’s sleeping over, find a reason to have her leave early in the morning.

    Assuming that your starting to develop an attachment or fondness for the girl, take some time away and cool your heels for a week. Allow her calls to go to voicemail, and respond briefly to text messages. Live your life as you did prior to meeting her, reconsider her standing in your world, and then rekindle the spark if you’re still interested.

    The game can be tough, but no matter what you do, don’t go down her rabbit trail and don’t act bitter.

    Like


  284. if you really believe that she is cheating on you , she will . there is such a thing called self-full filling prophecy

    being a man in a relationship is like driving a car , and the woman try to take over your wheel is same as her shit testing . and also if you are driving on a cliff edge , focus on the road not the valley(the valley is the same as shes gonna cheat on you)

    if you think a good looking dude can steal your girl , my friend you have weak weak game , since looks and game are mutually exclusive .

    if her gina tingled because of that guy , its your fault. as a true alpha male / leader of the pack /ceo of a company , when theres a problem , complain is a luxury that you dont have , if you are beta , well you can . if i have a girlfriend and there s another guy trying some stuff out with my girl i dont think he ever has a chance , unless the girl is a slut , then i wouldnt date her in the first place

    she could be mentioning his name as a shit test to see if you would be reactive to it , roll right over it , shes trying to take over the wheel , hold on tight to it and keep driving

    Like


  285. Gig,

    My boyfriend?? What sort of delusional world did you take up residence in?

    Like


  286. if her gina tingled because of that guy , its your fault.

    This is so much horseshit it’s not even funny. That’s not how our bodies are wired. No matter how fucking pimp you are, she’s still a human female, an animal. Her body can barely discriminate between you and every other hard dick on the planet.

    Like


  287. Lot of good commens here—and a lot of shitty ones.

    Look, just cause she feels the tingle for another guy doesn’t necessarily mean it’s your fault. She’s a woman—she’s weak—and this other guy does seem fairly alpha. By telling you, she’s basically letting you know she’s at least in the beginning stages of infuation with another guy. This is the time for you to continue or re-assert your dominance. In my post above I did that—by playfully threatening to fuck her five ways to Sunday in front of the man while allowing him to hold my jacket. The trick is to be cool & humorous, unpeturbed and completely in control while delivering this.

    No need for hardcore ultimatums or intense negging of the guy. All she wants is just a little remind of who’s property she is. What I did (plus nailed her later that night) did exactly that.

    Like


  288. This is not a test of your game, its more like a test of your paranoia and if you’re sweating some guy in the background that may or may not have had a thing with your girl then hand in your alpha credentials cause those papers were obviously forged. The moment your fear losing a girl, you’ve already lost and this post stinks of that. I don’t even want to read the 300 comments of garbage I’m sure have been posted.

    Like


  289. on November 19, 2009 at 1:00 pm Phenomenal One

    No Anonymous, LR is wrong

    Woman compete against other woman and even thou a woman may be able to get another man, if you show her that she may lose you, it’ll work.

    How many times have we seen and heard of a woman who could have any man she wanted going back to a guy we thought was’nt sh*t ?

    Like


  290. AMOG him, and then put her on ice.

    Like


  291. on November 19, 2009 at 1:35 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””’Rum,
    If you have a fallout shelter, learn to sleep in it.””””’

    lol

    Like


  292. on November 19, 2009 at 1:40 pm gunslingergregi

    ””game for me isnt just about sex , its more about seducing the mind and soul of a person”””

    Cool thoughts.

    Like


  293. on November 19, 2009 at 1:46 pm СОФИЯ/sofia

    gig,

    No, I’m not a scholar.

    Like


  294. on November 19, 2009 at 1:48 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””””Cabpainter
    Easy. Find this dude and challenge him to single combat. Once you win, take all his stuff and spend all his money on whores, ale and revelry.
    ””””’

    This one for the win.

    Like


  295. on November 19, 2009 at 1:50 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””””’Catherine Omega Jones
    But …. this question is so easy. What would an Alpha do? well, what does James Bond do when he notices Vesper is still wearing a token from her Algerian boyfriend? He’s not bothered. Vesper’s with him now, not the Algerian. End of answer. Really, I can’t believe how many convoluted, agonising, whiny, bullying, self-justifying answers there are on this thread. Ask yourselves, chaps, would Bond do any of these things? No, Socrates, he would not. Hmm … maybe I ought to start charging for advice.
    ””””””””””””’

    Yes but in this day and time to have a woman who tests you at that point like that is not worth keeping around long term since she is not reliable and a woman who is not reliable with current laws isn’t worth shit.

    Like


  296. on November 19, 2009 at 1:56 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””’aoefe
    It’s a shit test for sure.
    ””””””””

    So as you can see pretty much all the female name type posters agree that the shit was premeditated to get you to respond in some way. The thing is a woman who really loves you should be beyond bringing up premeditated shit about other guys with you. I mean the shit don’t happen. So if you think she is the one and this comes up more than likely not.

    Like


  297. on November 19, 2009 at 1:58 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””’Hire a private investigator and have her followed, or inject sodium thiopental and start the questioning under a single very bright lightbulb in a filthy basement. Tying her up to a chair is optional.”””

    This is good option if your married to her.

    Like


  298. LR,

    jesus christ… you’re a moron!

    there’s a lot of people on here with whose opinions i often disagree, but no one says more dumb shit than you do. if i had a dollar for every stupid and/or empirically false thing you’ve posted on this site, i’d have… well, i’d probably have quite a few more dollars then were once shoved down your sagging g-string by slackjawed ohio yokels.

    women don’t compete for attention?

    women don’t get jealous?

    women never have dry spells?

    go back to stripping, cause if you have to make any money on your intellectual ability you’re likely to starve. although, judging by your latest pictures that may not be such a bad thing for you, tubby.

    Like


  299. So, we’re all agreed that if the girl you’ve seen for two to three months (and apparently not calling a girlfriend) mentions a male acquaintance that she’s known for years, she is going to bang that guy now and the only way to stop this is to reframe, freeze her out, DHV, and run caveman game while presenting an aloof, yet in her face hostility.

    got it.

    Like


  300. After you’ve changed the tone of the discussion, flirt with her, sleep with her if you can, and end the evening with poise and composure. If the conversation took place late night and she’s sleeping over, find a reason to have her leave early in the morning.

    Assuming that your starting to develop an attachment or fondness for the girl, take some time away and cool your heels for a week. Allow her calls to go to voicemail, and respond briefly to text messages. Live your life as you did prior to meeting her, reconsider her standing in your world, and then rekindle the spark if you’re still interested.

    The game can be tough, but no matter what you do, don’t go down her rabbit trail and don’t act bitter.

    This would be my answer to the question as well.

    I think this is the best way to re-frame.

    Like


  301. now bhetti
    really does
    have a bright
    future

    Like


  302. You don’t know for sure if she’s planning / considering / willing to cheat with this guy, and if she is there’s nothing you can do about it anyway. And if she does, it’s no slight against you… nothing says that a woman will only feel “gina tingle” for one guy at a time. Us guys routinely want more than one woman in our lives, should we expect our women not to want a little strange from time to time as well?

    Forget it.. if she cheats, she cheats. If she does and you never find out, then who cares? If she does and you do find out, then deal with it as appropriate. If you demand exclusivity in relationships (hopefully she knew that going in) then dump her and move on. If you can accept her desire from some strange, then have a laugh about it, propose a threesome (or not) and then go bowling.

    Remember, we’re all dead in the end anyway.

    Like


  303. I would wait until she brings him up again and the say something like “He seems like a real caring and sensitive guy. I bet he would make a great husband for some lucky girl someday.”

    Just to indirectly remind her of his more “unattractive” qualities.

    Like


  304. I’m a little shocked at the quality of the answers here. Most of you are falling back on standard-issue, general rules of gaming that are not context specific. Cutting her off for a week, for example, might be good when she criticizes YOU. But it doesn’t apply here.

    I am also shocked at how many of you have advised our protagonist to throw a hissy fit because it sounds like she might want to fuck this guy. Guess what, dudes? She wants to fuck this guy. At least, she’s thinking about it. Throwing a hissy fit about it will do nothing but hurt you. Your sexuality cannot be threatened by the hypothetical sexuality of a dude who’s not even there. Your challenge is not to take yourself out of the competition, but to win the goddamn thing.

    I am shocked at how many people are missing the point here. Why would a woman’s gina tingle when a dude acts annoying? It has to be related to the fact that he’s acting alpha. It means he’s playing by his rules. Your challenge is to make sure she recognizes that YOU, the protagonist, and not some dude whose dick has never been worth seeing before now, are the alpha.

    Press the advantage you have: you’re there next to her, and he’s not. This automatically disqualifies cutting her off. (Who’s she going to call when she’s feeling lonely? The guy who cut her off, or the alpha “not yet” friend?)

    The best thing to do is to neg his alpha by making your own alpha appear stronger. This does NOT work in reverse. Hence the reason you should stand up for him, defend him better than he could defend himself, and then call him a bitch because he executed poorly.

    If what he did made her gina tingle, then do what he did and do it better.

    Like


  305. on November 19, 2009 at 3:20 pm gunslingergregi

    Yea but confidunce what are you winning?

    Like


  306. stoically interested and attentive…

    “you have mentioned *Dave* before. You two go way back right? I met him … but just briefly … tell me about him?”

    listen listen listen … if shes not in the mood to yammer on and on about this something is amiss

    maybe use the information to goof on him if she brings it up again … this reaction will yield even more info

    in the end you might have to write her off but now the best thing to do is not panic like a jealous little girl – get info and make a decision – be a man

    Like


  307. ^^ me … i dont wana be anon

    Like


  308. For all the people arguing that you shouldn’t drop the big guns at the first whiff of trouble, I think it’s implied in the scenario that this isnt the first time this dude’s name has come up. She’s brought him up several times, seemingly out of the blue, and you HAVE taken note of it in the past.

    Assuming your powers of intuition are finely tuned through lots of calibration with different ho’s and are reliable to 90% accuracy, for the purpose of this discussion, the question is – what are you going to do if you, alpha that you are in this relationship, have gauged that this girl is beginning to feel tingly feelings in her nether regions for another dude who is at least as alpha as you are, perhaps a little more.

    The scenario also implicitly suggests several other things – that you are in an LTR, and if possible you would like to keep the pussy juices flowing freely for awhile longer. The guys saying that she’s going to do what she wants to do anyways and if you sense she’s a cheater, you should dump her right away are missing the point. If you’re dating a beautiful woman, say a 9, and you are a 6 in looks, not accounting for game, then OFCOURSE she is going to be hit on constantly and will have to deflect an endless barage of temptation. Are you as a man going to cut the leash at the first sign of trouble?

    Thus, to reiterate, the question is simply – If you, self aware alpha that you are, want to maximize your happiness given the constraints, what is your best course of action? This is game theory in the nash equillibrium sense, as well as in the context of women and relationships.

    Whether this is an explicit shit test designed to elicit a response, or a subconscious one that she just word vomits without thinking doesn’t actually matter. Your response is more or less the same, because either way, she either consciously or subconsciously wants you to reaffirm your alpha status and dominance over her.

    The easiest way is the application of game principles. Straight up confrontation could work depending on the circumstance, but it is rarely your BEST option because she has too much plausible deniability. Putting your foot down and ‘forbidding’ her to see or talk about the guy on the other hand is probably your worst possible course of action. Forbidding someone to do something is even worse than encouraging it. She is going to associate him with temptation, and you are setting yourself up to be cheated on.

    As this isnt the first time she’s brought the guy up in conversation, you probably dindt react to it in the exact same way the previous occasions. So most likely, the first couple times you addressed it the way others have recommended – by playing it cool, listening and taking note, then changing the subject. You may have even tried giving her a bit more attention if you feel that’s what she’s looking for. However the question clearly implies that she has the dude on her mind and he’s popping up again and again because he is conveying alpha qualities, if not directly to her, then at least tangentially or by proxy. Your only option is to out-alpha the guy. You have to display higher value and the best ways are through established game principles.

    Push-pull – get her into a heightened emotional state then cut her off before she gets resolution. then do it again.

    aloof indifference – dont jump the gun, just start teasing her exactly the way you did at the beginning of your relationship when you first began dating her.

    have more options – set up your fallback plan. it will subcommunicate in your body language that you are not needy

    cocky funny – an oldie but a goodie; get her to reassociate good feelings of laughter with your alphaness

    flirt in front of her – you dont have to do this explicitly, you can do it subtly to form a jealousy plotline in her head

    etc. etc.

    I believe I deserve an A+ and a cookie.

    Like


  309. on November 19, 2009 at 5:35 pm Wendy Schwartz

    JR–

    I’m sure women DO get jealous, but a guy who is nasty and fucking several women at once is NOT a prize or a catch.

    The point is that men are the ones easily influenced by “sex”. Women are not. Using sex as a weapon against a woman is always going to be a big fail.

    It’s like trying to sell candy to Willy Wonka.

    Like


  310. on November 19, 2009 at 5:40 pm Wendy Schwartz

    And no, Kyle I date extremely attractive men because I admit that I’m shallow and only care about that physical characteristics.

    I don’t care about their job, their money, or their personalities….but I DO care about their looks, their height, and their sense of style (& grooming, obviously)

    Like


  311. on November 19, 2009 at 5:46 pm Wendy Schwartz

    women don’t compete for attention?

    women don’t get jealous?

    women never have dry spells?

    Yes, that is exactly what I am saying. When when “compete” for male attention they are not doing something special. The woman who waves him off because she doesn’t give a fuck about him is the one who wins. She wins by doing nothing.

    A woman who gets jealous (and shows it) is SHOWING her lack of self confidence to the man she likes and also to her “competition”. Once again, if you are confident ….you don’t GET jealous and that also means you “win” without doing anything at all.

    And women only “have a dry spell” when they CHOOSE to have a dry spell. I don’t know why you asked that question as if I had announced that I was alien from another planet. I think pretty much everyone knows that a woman who is confident and happy being by herself is never going to be “desperate for dick”.

    Like


  312. gunslingergregi asks, “Yea but confidunce what are you winning?”

    I don’t mean to pick on guns when I state that if you can’t identify the prize, then get out of the game.

    This prize is your primal superiority over the “not yet” friend. It is the exclusive access to her gina when you want it. No one else gets to dip his pen in your inkwell.

    Like


  313. You got lucky, babe
    When I found you
    by Tom Petty

    Like


  314. women are emotional creatures and they cant resist a stimulus that give wide range of emotions, and a man should tap into her emotions like playing a piano to attract her, jealousy is one of those key , neg is also a tool to tap into her emotional circuitry . being a pick up artist , we tap into her positive emotions , assholes also get laid because they tap into many negative emotions

    Wendy Schwartz this comment
    “A woman who gets jealous (and shows it) is SHOWING her lack of self confidence to the man she likes and also to her “competition”. Once again, if you are confident ….you don’t GET jealous and that also means you “win” without doing anything at all.”

    is the description of a real man or the alpha male–> a man who get jealous (and shows it ) is showing his lack of self confidence to the women he likes and also to his” competition” once again if you are confident ….you don’t GET jealous and that also means you “win” without doing anything at all.

    could be a game tactic for this scenario –> dont get jealous with that alpha male intruder , hes second rated

    “man should be like a rock in the storm , unshakable , will not be moved , while a woman is the storm , keep trying to move him”

    women get jealous

    reading through some of the comments that say do this do that to get her to feel jealous , come on guys that s what women do to stir shit up ,men dont do that . if you are alpha male who is preselected and attract women naturally she would discuss with her friend about evil plans how to get you jealous anyways , or trying to “mention” a guy name a few time to shake you

    Like


  315. on November 19, 2009 at 6:28 pm gunslingergregi

    ””””””’Confidunce
    gunslingergregi asks, “Yea but confidunce what are you winning?”

    I don’t mean to pick on guns when I state that if you can’t identify the prize, then get out of the game.

    This prize is your primal superiority over the “not yet” friend. It is the exclusive access to her gina when you want it. No one else gets to dip his pen in your inkwell.
    ””””””””

    I believe the prize should be a woman who worships and loves you anything less is uncivilized he he he

    Like


  316. i’ve been dating the same guy for nearly 4 years, but have had brief crushes on others here and there that didn’t really lead anywhere.

    now, my boyfriend is not what you’d call an alpha (but i do love him anyway.) so the fact that i’m not cheating on him with my crushes is not really an indicator of excellent game on his part. but nevertheless, i find that i’ve gotten over my crushes faster when he playfully teased me about them. (stuff along the lines of “oh, going to see your other boyfriend today?” nothing too mean.)

    a jealous reaction from the boyfriend is like literally telling me that he feels insecure and threatened by another man whom he perceives to be higher value. so i start thinking more about the other guy and comparing them and having the occasional “hey, i could probably do better” thought—> takes me longer to get over my infatuation.

    just saying.

    Like


  317. Bhetti–

    I remember a certain alpha seeing this happen with hopeless sluts. The more you show a willingness to leave her, the more she clings exclusively to you. I suppose it might depend on the woman.

    Also a phrase that would work on me which is what many have hinted at is ‘That’s what I would do’ so that she associates any attraction to him to being attracted to you. Because she’s thinking you’re clearly the only man in the world she could really be attracted to. If that makes sense.

    Heh.

    Like


  318. “Lady” Raine–

    JR– women don’t compete for attention?

    women don’t get jealous?

    women never have dry spells?

    @LR– Yes, that is exactly what I am saying.

    You’re right. Low standards sluts don’t have dry spells and are less likely to get jealous. They do generally compete for attention, that’s just rubbish, but you’re a sociopathic unfeeling outlier, so who knows with you. Probably lying though, just as part of your general female superiority and trumped up lording it over guys stickt.

    Quality girls do have dry spells, because they want a real two way emotional connection and some commitment first. They also compete and get jealous though they try to limit the later, because they’re very choosy and what they’re looking for isn’t so easy to find.

    Getting laid by a reasonably attractive man on a now commitment, doesn’t care about you basis, or a young puppy loving beta isn’t hard though. That’s true.

    Like


  319. anna–

    Useful feedback. It has the whiff of honesty and of your being able to understand how you yourself really tick. Not so common esp. in girls. Like aoefe. Well, it’s one comment.

    It also jibes well with what I’ve observed works. Or one of the things that does.

    Like


  320. Wow. Wendy Schwartz is almost unimaginably deluded.

    No wonder you guys give her such shit!

    Like


  321. Ed:

    Finally the anonymous sex blogger from Diary of a London Call Girl comes clean to The Sunday Times. She’s Dr Brooke Magnanti

    Holy shit! I think I knew that girl back when I was a college student! No joke!!

    “She went to high school in Florida because both her parents, about whose former occupations she is frustratingly evasive, ended up there for work. She is an only child”

    Like


  322. That’s GOTTA be her. Same name, same fucked up skin.

    Like


  323. My first reflex was to unleash a strong “Shut the fuck up Kay” bit. (A laser-guided depedestalizing is theoretically ideal, but too much work, too risky.)

    Other potential romances are not allowed to be mentioned in your presence, period.

    After a few days of on-and-off thought, I’ve come back to it.

    If you’re like me, that’s the ideal response. If you’re Roissy, with greater verbal mastery, I’d recommend knee-capping the other guy with a single, subtle ridicule.

    (Yes, it may *appear* another man has gotten to you. But in this case it’s more important to masculinely set bounds. He’s probably a high school crush you can’t do anything about, who she’ll probably never fuck, anyway.)

    Like


  324. A friend just gave me some semi-confirmation that it is indeed her. She had some FUCKED UP acne when I knew her. I do remember she was involved in the medical school. She was weird and kept to herself. Probably overcompensating for her lame romantic life as a youngster. Shit, I was pretty beta then and even *I* wouldn’t have done her.

    Small world.

    Like


  325. Confidunce

    “I am also shocked at how many of you have advised our protagonist to throw a hissy fit because it sounds like she might want to fuck this guy. Guess what, dudes? She wants to fuck this guy. At least, she’s thinking about it.”

    I have been blabbering about my good friend, and it means nothing of what you say above.

    Like


  326. on November 20, 2009 at 9:02 am Wendy Schwartz

    Holly, schwartz sister: The last time a man got all jealous and insecure it made him completely unattractive to me and drove me away. Insecurity is very unattractive. After reading this blog and all the comments the thing that sticks out most in my mind is how confident you are in the fact that you’re giving her fantastic orgasms. AND the fact that you know when we’re faking. Not ONE of you know when we’re faking because if you did you would all go running with your tail between your legs. And those of you that advise “break her jaw” are ridiculous. If you cant keep your woman on your qualities and need to resort to physical violence that doesnt say too much about YOUR qualities, does it? If merely talking to another man is enough for her to possibly leave and cheat–guess you’re not doing YOUR job as a man to keep her huh. Meaning orgasms dumbasses.

    Like


  327. biktopia,

    I’m confused. Are you saying that the girlfriend in this question does NOT want to sleep with the friend?

    That is not the hypothetical. There are situations where a woman suddenly realizes she wants to sleep with a “not yet” friend.” Blabbering about him and feigning annoyance are ways women express that feeling. Whether you want to argue that that is not ALWAYS the case is irrelevant. That is the case here.

    I don’t understand this whole “what?? A woman would NEVER do that!” mentality.

    Like


  328. What about just beating the shit out of the guy and telling him to never speak to your girl again. Obviously it shows jealousy, but it also shows that you can physically own any potential rivals. I don’t think silverback gorillas talk down their rivals, they kill them.

    Like


  329. on November 20, 2009 at 4:52 pm Wendy Schwartz

    Doug–

    As always, you can shriek and deny all day because everyone knows that the ONLY women you like are sad, pathetic, brainless “housewives in waiting” (like Aoefe) who will take any old, ugly guy who has a couple of $$$ to throw at her because she DOES fit the stereotype in your tiny little brain where “all women want marriage and babies and are desperate to attain it”.

    Doug I am hardly the only woman who knows that NOT being jealous, NOT checking in on him, NOT asking where he was, NOT competing with other women, and NOT wanting clingy emotional pussy-bitchs if the sure fire way to ALWAYS have a harem of young, attractive, physically fit men at your disposal.

    The women who “compete”, care where a man is, get paranoid about her weight/looks/age, and are “desperate” for marriage and babies are the SAME women who take the desperate Beta losers (like you) off our hands.

    I would never want a woman-beating, deadbeat, piece of shit bag of trash like you to think I’m a “quality woman”. Now THAT would an insult!!!!

    Like


  330. Roissy–

    Enough time already!!

    Weigh in.

    Like


  331. on November 20, 2009 at 8:04 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””””””””gunslingergregi permalink
    I guess the diference between men and woman or me and everyone else. If I was obsessed with some actress I would do what it took to be able to hit that ass. he he he

    Why would it be out of the realm of posibility?

    So really are you testing me lol

    My very own test of my game thread yay!

    And against a celebrity no less.

    Reply .2009 November 21 gunslingergregi permalink
    “flips switch relegates to no long term prospects”

    he he he

    ”””””””””””””””””

    Ok so this is what I would really say he he he

    Like


  332. Further investigation has revealed that Belle de Jour is indeed the girl I broke bread and shared beers with. I confess this with a heavy heart, but during my first year at university I was heavily involved with the campus Randroid/Objectivist club. She was the secretary/treasurer for a brief period. We used to hang out after the meetings at the local pizza joint or at one of the member’s houses. Unbelievable.

    After reading her blog it’s apparent she is a Poetry of Flesh clone. Except, Ms. Magnanti was smart enough to get PAID for her whoring.

    I’m still shaking my head.

    [editor: did you bang her? i wonder if randroid chicks are more likely to slut it up than hippies, libs, or repressed catholics.]

    Like


  333. No, she was a quiet, somewhat mousy chick with HORRIBLE acne. Blonde, too, which is not my type. And I was an idealistic, naive beta then. At the time I was in the midst of my first and only Great Obsession with an exotic filly who was the impetus for my first baby steps into the seduction community.

    But I did bang the PRESIDENT of the Objectivist club. 🙂

    And you’re right about the appeal of Ayn Rand to slutty women. That president girl I banged confessed to me that I was her 60th(!). And you would never have known it. She was articulate, intelligent and ambitious.

    All those Dagny admirers are whores.

    Like


  334. Also, I remember she drifted away from the club after she started dating a *fundamentalist christian*!

    Like


  335. on November 21, 2009 at 5:58 pm gunslingergregi

    ”””’And you’re right about the appeal of Ayn Rand to slutty women. That president girl I banged confessed to me that I was her 60th(!).””””””””

    I bet she tells all the guys that to get them to fall in love. Think I will stick with whores or former whores for ltr material. You know what your getting.

    Like


  336. LR if you keep dropping my name in your comments you’re going to raise my Q-score – keep it up!

    Like


  337. Aoefe–

    Sorry, I just said that to needle Doug because I know how much he hates it when someone insults you (and especially when it’s me doing it).

    Nothing personal, just business.

    Like


  338. Here’s another picture of her:

    She was a 6.5 at BEST when I knew her.

    And she’s a lot shorter than her photo in the UK article would suggest, I’m guessing 5′ 6″ tops.

    I was lame back then but I had no designs on her.

    Like


  339. Hi Dana

    Like


  340. on November 22, 2009 at 12:46 am СОФИЯ/sofia

    Tupac,

    She was weird and kept to herself.

    Details! What were her other interests? Did she have many friends? Did you get to know about her home life? How old does this make you!

    Yay for gossip hour!

    Like


  341. on November 22, 2009 at 1:03 am Conservative Cock

    I’ll take a wild guess here.

    As soon as she mentions this herb’s name, you pin her against the bed and stick your dick in her mouth.

    Like


  342. on November 22, 2009 at 1:08 am СОФИЯ/sofia

    “[M]y clients were men who were addicted to success. They knew I, as a call girl, would respond positively to their advances, whereas outside of the transaction a woman like me might not.” — Belle de Jour/Brooke Magnanti [NYT]

    The above is a quote from the London Call Girl on why men saw prostitutes…

    Like


  343. Thinking of becoming a whore, Sofia?

    Whore.

    You dirty dirty whore.

    Like


  344. Heh. Toupie is drunk. Cool. I hope it was fun.

    Like


  345. on November 22, 2009 at 1:44 am СОФИЯ/sofia

    Yes, if I need to proclaim I want to be a whore to get the scoop, so be it. Spill!

    Like


  346. I didn’t know much about her. My friend had to track her down after she left the club to get her signature for campus club organization purposes. I was a freshman and she was…I don’t know what she was. She ended up dating a fundamentalist christian and dropped out of our circle. She was nice and smart and had horrible acne. My one clear memory is being at a friends house while we listened to TMBG’s “Istanbul, Constantinople” while getting drunk on Budwieser. She asked quiet questions here and there but was never in the limelight. She worked in a medical lab. That’s about it. I never thought she was all that hot. There were other girls in the circle who more effectively grabbed my attention. She really kept a private life to herself and never introduced us to her boyfriend, probably recognizing we would have judged her negatively for dating a Christian.

    Bottom line: I would never in a million years have guessed she would turn out this way.

    Maybe you’re next, Sofia. She was interested in philosophy after all. As we all were…

    Like


  347. I would say to her:

    “So we’re hanging out with ‘other people’ now? …okay.” Then I would change the subject and keep changing the subject for the rest of the date. I would look distracted and check my phone for texts and possibly start reviewing other women I might call. I would flirt with other women and I would end the evening early.

    Beyond that I really have no plan other than to start working on alternate women to hang out with (if I had no alternates). The next time she brings this guy up it will either be to call me on my “behavior” (You don’t trust me-blah blah blah) or to tell me that it’s over. If it’s the former then I know I still have her attention and now I just have to deal with the “being jealous” issue. If it is the latter then I need to have sex with a really hot girl that she knows and hates.

    Like


  348. She’s looking for Alpha reaction out of you. Be dismissive, but securely so. (As in “Are you gay?”– “No.” not “NO!!”) Ignore, she’ll think you don’t care and/or that you approve. Bitches.

    Like


  349. Now that I think about it. A better response to her shit test would be: “Are you trying to make me jealous? That’s so cute!” If I have been paying attention to the lessons, that should end the matter right there.

    Later that night I would have sex with her. If she denied me, I would have a clear picture of where I stood-NEXT! Either way, I would try also to have sex with an alternate in the same evening. Having sex with multiple women in the same evening boosts a man’s confidence greatly and thereby makes one more attractive to women.

    Like


  350. el chief:

    Anything he said that was alpha, agree with
    Anything he said that was beta, mock mercilessly. Frame him in such a light that he has a personality disorder, such as Asperger Syndrome.
    Tease her about her “other” boyfriend

    Normally el chief is spot on with his game advice but this seems to be overreacting to a beta fear.

    aoefe:

    I’d want him to act nonchalant, acknowledge what I’m saying, not react, but seem confident (even if he’s not) about my affection. Then he could say something like “I’m not a girlfriend, save that kind of shit for those bitch sessions.” He’d say this with humour, or slight irritation but he wouldn’t show me he had any fears.

    This is about right. The strong man leads his woman to a better place.

    Like


  351. on November 23, 2009 at 2:27 am attention whore

    Answer carefully. This will go toward your final score.

    Your final SCORE? Get it? Oh my God.

    Like


  352. I turn to the HB8 waitress, smile extra wide, “That outfit is adorable. Yes, I will have another.”

    “I’m sorry, baby. What was that? You have a friend where?”

    Like


  353. Women are emotion adicts. What is the equivalent of a hangover in this case? Boredom.

    I’d keep cool, and when the pops his name, I would yawn theatrically.

    Like I’m saying… “this guy is boring, and you get boring too, when you talk about this dude”.

    Supose she didnt catch. She did not associate the yawn to the guy subject, and pops his name again?

    I yawn harder. Then I find any excuse to leave the table for a minute (like… going to the bathroom), and pull a conversation with someone in the way.

    OR… say “just a minute”, pull my cell phone, and make a phone call to someone. And pull another subject when the call ends.

    When you are not scared with shit tests, and when you seen so many that you are not angered – you’ll probably get bored at them.

    Its no harm to externalize this reaction. Even fake it if you need.

    Fuck… other guy’s names in convos bore me as hell. Is it too much to expect NOT to be bored by your date?

    Like


  354. Some of these replies remind me of those medical self-diagnosis charts: do you have a rash on your ass yes/no, does it itch yes/no, what happens when you scratch it …, until you find out what to do.

    How do you keep your head from coming apart after memorizing all this choreography?

    I agree with dana: “don’t have LTRs with any woman who wouldn’t drop ALL her friends for you, let alone any stray males still sniffing around her. she’s a cunt and a whore and a ball breaker.”

    I also agree with Lion, minus the sentences that others also wanted removed:“Hey, you seem to have this guy quite on your mind. Maybe you two should get together and see if sparks fly. But realize that you are not going to hang out with this dude as long as we are together. Your choice.”

    I keep things simple, and I am always ready to walk. And I never get into the whole jealousy analysis. I just tell her that I have high standards for any kind of relationship that lasts for more than one night.

    I start by requiring her to be respectful from the moment we become more than strangers. For example, no talking on the phone when she is with me. If she takes a call, I take her wrist gently but firmly, take the phone out of her hand, and tell her caller that “she isn’t allowed to talk on the phone when she is with me”. I then turn the phone off, hand it back to her and say “leave it off or leave”.

    I establish dominance from the beginning, and I maintain it in a straightforward manner, and that can include the choice of accepting a spanking or leaving.

    Because I make sure that there is no doubt in her mind that I am in charge and won’t tolerate any bullshit, she rarely feels the need to shit test and I don’t have to worry about whether doing nice things for her and with her will make me seem beta.

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  355. Belief in monogamy and a suspension of disbelief in the depravity of humanity are both foolish and detrimental to a man’s well-being.

    In the case presented by Roissy, I’d accept the reality of the situation for what it is and going forward, I’d simply become more selfish and not go out of my way for the girl anymore, come what may.

    Like


  356. @Nikon

    “… I’d accept the reality of the situation for what it is and …”

    I understand what you are saying, but you can never really know what the reality of the situation is.

    Is she one of the good 3% and is just making sure that you are not a pussy?

    Is she just another one of the disloyal cunts that is the majority?

    So I don’t bother with questions to which you can never really know the answer.

    Instead, I simply set boundaries and enforce them. And she either enjoys them and complies, or she leaves. Also, I let her know, up front, that if she leaves, she can’t come back.

    Like


  357. Bring up your female friend. Encourage her to go see that guy and pull away for a couple days. Done.

    Like


  358. on November 29, 2009 at 1:47 pm Wendy Schwartz

    Judging by the last few comments here you guys are going to continue to fail hard with women.

    “Women are emotional addicts”??????

    WHAT? Did you see that on Lifetime or Oxygen or something? It’s no wonder you guys fail to entice the female mind for more than a week or so. Seriously, I could care less if a man EVER shows me an emotional side, engages me emotionally, or even HAS feelings. I don’t like to see, draw out, or be drawn into anything involving those things.

    And I really doubt I’m the only woman on earth who feels that way. I’m only engaged by extreme wit, intellect, and sarcasm. Everything else I just pretend to listen to….nodding, smiling, and thinking about something else.

    Like


  359. @Wendy Schwartz,

    Men actually have stronger emotions than women. See the violence rate, suicide rate, music, poetry, screenplays. We don’t need to seek emotional drama, because we already have it. See the URL at the bottom

    Women are emotional addicts because they are soulless shells. They seek emotional drama, like a fat chick seeks validation. Because she’s empty inside.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6582892/Getting-married-brings-18000-worth-of-happiness-to-men—but-only-half-that-to-women.html

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  360. You guys are all wrong.

    You sit listening to her intently, holding your tongue, pricked by a needle of ambiguity.

    You continue eating your steak, nod up and glance at her sideways, casually responding, “Hey, he sounds like your type. You two should get together sometime.”

    You smirk. The ambiguity shifts onto her and now she wonders at what you mean, as she glazes at you as you continue eating.

    Hth.

    Like


  361. […] 21, 2009 by roissy Way back in November I posed the following scenario. What do you do when your girl keeps mentioning the name of another man she’s known since […]

    Like


  362. HI, WHY ARE YOU HAVING A BABY.

    you didn’t even tell your husband and is’t that a pitty

    Like


  363. This only happens if she has doubt. Transform her doubt in devotion and the scenario disappears.

    In this case I would have her tell me about the guy, then in an instant with my genius man-brain pick apart the value she got from this guys space in her mind and create that in the moment, with someone else. Probably a waitress. Then she can work for it later. Probably while her brain is still overloaded with “how do I get this fucking man to marry me” emotional chaos juice.

    Such a delicious parfait…

    Like


  364. ?No need to make it complicated. Let her decide under fire, don’t let her contemplate her possible betrayal while under the comfort of your affection.”

    Brilliant!!!!

    Like