Ode to Bicyclists – A Poem

City streets to drive are harrowing
frustration mounts all red lights
no room to spare lanes are narrowing
oh fuck there’s a biker in my sights

he’s on the street obeying the law
no bikes on sidewalks where people roam
but this potholed lane can’t fit us all
i hit the brakes he ain’t armstrong

cars to the left of me biker to the right
i want to smash his sweaty face in with all my might
no room to maneuver there i stare
at this fat fuck’s plumbers crack in spandexwear

i’m late for work driving slower than idle
my sanity will suffer in a short while
this sidewalk policy is dumb and dumber
bike nerd needs to get off the road before i run him under

finally an opening to get around!
it’s a tight squeeze his ass is profound
i hit the gas and pass unopposed
then spew my carbon footprint right up his nose.





Comments


  1. “…it’s a tight squeeze his ass is profound…”

    Wait, WTF???

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  2. Did you by any chance write this at work?

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  3. gatsby – yeah i snuck that in there to see if the class was awake.

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  4. Love when the Bike nerds curse at drivers busily talking on their cellphones!

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  5. on July 28, 2007 at 3:38 am nullp0inter

    Bicycles probably go faster than cars during Rush Hour. I can maintain 25 MPH when it’s not too bad.

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  6. whatever, he’s on point, these bicyclists give me a fuckin heart attack, they should knock it off…

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  7. on July 28, 2007 at 6:00 pm nullp0inter

    It was bicyclists that originally got roads paved. So cut us a little slack. Plus riding a non carbon fiber road bike on the sidewalk feels like someone is jackhammering your balls.

    Why I paid 2k for a carbon fiber road bike instead of a used car.

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  8. Give me an old cool bicycle, and I’ll ride around the city for days.

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  9. oh my god, your syllables are awful 😦

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