Reader Mailbag

This is the second installment of reader mailbag. If you do not want your question made public on the blog, say so specifically in your email, and I’ll keep my answer to you private.

Email #1

Hey there!

I need some advice, care to help a gal from Canada?

I met this guy about 6 months ago. We get along great! We have so much fun together, we laugh so much when we’re together so overall it’s been really amazing (the sexual chemistry is amazing too). The problem: I want more and he won’t give me more!! He makes up random excuses whenever I tell him I want more. It’s so frustrating! I came to the point where I told him that we shouldn’t talk/hang out anymore. He agreed but then called me cuz he missed me and said, “why can’t we continue hanging out, we have so much fun together”. He also dates other women…and then tells me about it, which makes me so sad and mad at the same time. I just don’t get it…I’m such an amazing catch!! I’m super cute, independent, fun, funny, easy going (unless I want a committment-haha!), not materialistic, caring, accommodating (esp. in the bedroom, his needs are always met), and a whole bunch of other wonderful stuff! It just blows my mind that he wouldn’t want more. It’s frustrating. So, I told him I was going to date other men (he told me that was a good idea), which I am doing but I’m in love with him, it’s so frustrating because all I want to do is make him happy and take care of him the best that I know how and he’s not interested. do you think i’m crazy? I know i deserved to be with someone who appreciates me and doesn’t take me for granted and it’s not hard for me to meet other men, but the problem is…I want HIM!

He told me that he has issues with trust. But I’m like the most trustworthy person out there…do u think he’s just playing games with me?

Any advice?

PD

You’ve come to the right plane of hell, my child. Let me get this out of the way, like a quick pull of the Brazilian wax strip. Whenever it’s the guy making excuses to avoid sex one of three things is going on.

  1. He’s impotent or has a low libido.
  2. He’s found someone else and his balls are too drained to give you the rogering you deserve.
  3. He has stopped finding you attractive and has substituted porn for your warm hole.

Judging by your writing style I’d guess you are very young, so the odds of your boyfriend having a low libido are slim. Even if he’s much older than you, your hot young bod will spring him to action in a way that an older woman could not.

It sounds more like a combination of 2 and 3. He’s already told you point blank that he dates around, and yet you act as if this is no big deal and shouldn’t affect your relationship with him or his desire to have sex with you on demand. Are you looking to be in his harem’s first or second tier? You’re blinded by your bruised ego and have stopped seeing the forest for the trees. I’ll spell it out for you:

You’re not his number one girl.
You are one of many pussies he is banging.
He no longer feels the need to do anything for you because you slop up his runny shit and beg for more.
You are his safety school. Second fiddle. Back of the line. Slow dial booty call. Fleshlight.

I say this out of love.

“He also dates other women…and then tells me about it, which makes me so sad and mad at the same time.”

…and horny. Admit it.

Note to the men reading: This is how you manage multiple long term relationships. Just tell your girl about every date you go on, then sit back and enjoy the fruits of your pimpdom.

“I just don’t get it…I’m such an amazing catch!!”

Another Stuart Smalley acolyte heard from.

“I’m super cute, independent, fun, funny, easy going (unless I want a committment-haha!), not materialistic, caring, accommodating (esp. in the bedroom, his needs are always met), and a whole bunch of other wonderful stuff!”

Why don’t you just lick the sweat off his moist hairy balls? You believe your value is lower than his and so you try to please him without asking for anything in return but more enthusiasm for fucking you. This type of dynamic makes for the strongest relationships because women want to be the ones working for approval, but there must be some balance in the dominance-submission force. The more you make yourself his lackey the less he will think you are worthy of his gratitude. Play a little hard to get if you feel you are not getting want you want from him. If that doesn’t work then you have no choice but to ovary up and end it.

“So, I told him I was going to date other men (he told me that was a good idea),”

First, your posturing was passive-aggressive. Pouting and telling him you are going to date other men is an admission of defeat. He knows you are lashing out at him in pain, and this will only strengthen his power over you, which you can see it has by his cheeky nonchalant reply. Your better move would have been to tell him you love him, but want to spend some time apart from him to think things through. Then cut off all contact. If he calls you, you’ll now be in a position to dictate better terms for yourself.

“it’s so frustrating because all I want to do is make him happy and take care of him the best that I know how and he’s not interested.”

And that is why you want to service him like a cheap Belarusian whore. Your female reptilian hindbrain is tricking you. You don’t want to make him happy, you want to make yourself happy through him. But relying on others for your happiness is a surefire way to remain unhappy. Newsflash: He will never be interested.

“He told me that he has issues with trust.”

Of course he does. Because he knows what it’s like to break it. The world is our mirror.

“do u think he’s just playing games with me?”

It’s worse than that. This relationship was dead the second he gave you carte blanche to date other men. You are officially his downtime sperm receptacle. Time to hit the field. Go Flirt With Ten Other Guys (GFWTOG). Wear something sexy and head to the nearest bus depot immediately.

Email #2

Hey, got a little situation and wanted to solicit your insight once more (yup, you’ve gone from blogger to counselor).  To keep it short, I’m in grad school with this girl that I used to think was a complete bitch.  She seemed a little too opinionated, took herself too seriously, etc.   Somehow, though, we’ve recently become kind of cool and I’m kinda diggin her.  She’s about a year older than I but acts a little older.  Anyway, we’re kind of at that crucial tipping point where things could go either way and I wanted your thoughts on how best to avoid getting trapped in the friendship box.   Whatever you’ve got to offer would be most appreciated.

M.

Grad school girls are almost uberbitches to a woman. Think about what kind of girl decides to pursue postgraduate education. Hint: It’s not the most feminine type. So if you’re going to move on this girl, you’ll need to attack her with very strong masculine energy. “We’ve recently become kind of cool” is not gonna cut it, romcom therapyboy. Farting around like a junior high A/V club nerdling waiting for that perfect moment when the planets align and the moon reflects off her eyes like a big pizza pie to bust a move is asking for failure. Young MC wept.

Also, don’t lie to yourself. You didn’t kinda start “diggin her” after you got to know her. You were diggin her the moment you laid eyes on her cute face, tight rump, and pert tits. Your initial assessment of her as a “complete bitch” is a common defensive maneuver among the invertebratia to shield the ego from outright rejection. Every hot girl is a complete bitch to every guy she meets unless she likes him. It’s how they keep the hordes of betas at bay. You want super duper friendly? Hang out with fat chicks.

“Anyway, we’re kind of at that crucial tipping point where things could go either way and I wanted your thoughts on how best to avoid getting trapped in the friendship box.”

Tipping point? Did you pull out a protractor and measure the angle of her emotions? Come on, man, rule #1: Chicks know within MINUTES of meeting you whether you are mating material. From that point it’s your job to not fuck it up.

I’ve got good news and bad news.

Bad news: You’ve already been LJBF’ed.
Good news: Now you know.

The only way to reverse an LJBF (and it’s not easy) is complete removal of yourself from her life for a few weeks, followed by a major pickup offensive… guns blazing, tanks rolling, hands groping, game spitting. You’ve gotta make yourself less available, make her miss you. Then, when your disappearing act has rewired her brain just enough to flip the switch in a new direction, you have her meet you at your favorite bar while you’re flirting with another girl. It’s important that she sees you enjoying the company of other women.

Then, game her like you just approached her. Trust me, she’ll be pissed and confused when the new, ballsy you pulls the friendship rug out from under her. You’ve got no choice if you want to succeed in changing her opinion of you from friend to potential lover. Callous disregard for her expectations is essential. There’s a good chance you’ll lose her entirely, but that shouldn’t matter to you. It’s really win-win. Either you bed her, or you salvage your dignity.

And for fuck’s sake, don’t talk about grad school. That’ll just remind her of the old neutered you. If she brings it up, tell her you’re not interested and you’re here to have fun.

Email #3

You have a very interesting and entertaining blog, which I just recently discovered.

Question:  I am sure you have mentioned this before, but wouldn’t people who read your blog with any degree of regularity be considered “betas”?  People who take vicarious pleasure in the exploits of an alpha male sexual predator, hero, whatever?  Why would an alpha bother to read your blog?

J.S.

Are people who read stock tip blogs poor? Some are, some aren’t. Everyone wants an edge, so some are betas looking for their first love, some are alphas looking to run the table. If I had to put percentages on my readership, I’d guess 60% were classic beta males, 20% alpha males, 15% chicks who dig me for my devilish charm, and 5% dizzy clones. Oh, and Tyler Cowen reads regularly (Hi Mrs. Cowen!).

PS: Vicarious pleasure-taking is weak sauce. Any girls who want to take pleasure in my exploits directly can reach me at:

The Abyss
666 Dante Blvd.
Circle 2
8675309





Comments


  1. Email #1 points to the problems that even high quality girls have now in getting the most attractive guys to commit. She could be every bit as attractive and nice as she thinks she is. But a lot of girls are chasing these guys, so they have no incentive to settle down, even with great girls.

    Like


  2. on August 15, 2008 at 5:13 pm atheist_messiah

    you sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. honesty and pimpdom go hand in hand! forever and ever, amen

    Like


  3. He told me that he has issues with trust.

    Anytime someone pulls out a piece of psychobabble as an excuse, he’s basically saying “I’m not really that into you.”

    Like


  4. In #1 Roissy is channeling this guy:

    http://manslations.com/

    Only it’s from the perspective of a PUA instead of an engaged comedian.

    Like


  5. I wouldn’t immediately rule out the idea that buddy from the first email isn’t feeling even a little mushy about the chick who wrote it.

    In five years of dating, I’ve almost always had 1-2 girls who I legitimately care for and spend time with and a rotating series of 0-10 girls who I am casually sleeping with. My gut is that this girl is #1 or at least 2/3.

    My advice to her would have been: You can have monogomay or you can have a man you are very attracted to, but you can’t have both. in the sexual marketplace, willingness to overlook other partners is valuable asset. Either accept that you are in love with someone out of your league and ignore his indiscretions, or find a man willing to commit, realistically acknowledging that he will be less attractive.

    #2 has much to learn and internalize before he can start having happy relationships with hot girls.

    Agree with your response to #3. Readers of investment, fitness and literary blogs are respectively wealthier, in better shape and better read than non-readers. Why would seduction be any different?

    Like


  6. Yeah, for mailer 1 – He’s just not that into you anymore!

    Also, some guy bashes Bashes Paul Janka

    Like


  7. @3

    I also “have problems with trusting people” if you ask any girl who’s tried to escalate with me. It’s kind of true, I guess, but really it’s just a great excuse to not commit and still come off as a sensitive, sweet guy who COULD commit if a really SPECIAL girl puts in a month or two of trying to win my affections while overlooking mis-coloured hairs on my pillow and the magical disappearance of condoms from my bedside drawer.

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  8. Let me get this out of the way, like a quick pull of the Brazilian wax strip.

    Christ no, what a vile analogy.

    Like


  9. But a lot of girls are chasing these guys, so they have no incentive to settle down, even with great girls.

    No alpha or beta male has any incentive to settle down with a girl. She will become old and sexless and eventually desire children.

    Anytime someone pulls out a piece of psychobabble as an excuse, he’s basically saying “I’m not really that into you.”

    For me, it’s “I’m not really that into you because I think I can do better in the long-term, or you’re too ugly, or you’re a crazy bitch, or because you’d bring me down socially and embarrass me in public you piece of white (or ghetto) trash.”

    You can have monogomay or you can have a man you are very attracted to, but you can’t have both.

    Maybe she should pick the latter, as the former leads to misery and contempt for the male she dates afterward.

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  10. Ummm…I think you got it all wrong with #1.

    She’s a girl, not a guy. When she said “The problem: I want more and he won’t give me more!! ” she meant more in the relationship (ie: love, commitment) she didn’t mean more sex.

    Like


  11. on August 15, 2008 at 6:37 pm random passerby

    “Are people who read stock tip blogs poor? Some are, some aren’t. Everyone wants an edge, so some are betas looking for their first love, some are alphas looking to run the table. If I had to put percentages on my readership, I’d guess 60% were classic beta males, 20% alpha males, 15% chicks who dig me for my devilish charm, and 5% dizzy clones. Oh, and Tyler Cowen reads regularly (Hi Mrs. Cowen!).”

    I laugh at this distinction between “alphas” and “betas.” You’re all trapped in the same stupid, arbitrary rat race. What makes alphas different is that they’re better at running it and convincing themselves that they’re playing the game instead of the other way around. Me, I never joined the race at all. And I never will.

    Like


  12. on August 15, 2008 at 6:38 pm Sara loves the internet

    The gal from Canada presents zero challenge. Hence; she is too accommodating and therefore uninteresting.

    Like


  13. AP:
    She’s a girl, not a guy. When she said “The problem: I want more and he won’t give me more!! ” she meant more in the relationship (ie: love, commitment) she didn’t mean more sex.

    true, but i chose my interpretation deliberately, to highlight that love and sex are first cousins. it was a bit sneaky.

    whether she meant sex or commitment, my advice for her still stands. he has all the power, she has none. her only option to even the playing field is to deprive him of his entitlement mentality toward her. she has to break contact for a while.

    zdeno above said it well: she either learns to settle for a lesser man who will be faithful, or she suffers under the drama of an alpha’s infidelity. you’d be surprised just how many women choose the latter.

    Like


  14. for men at least, love and sex are first cousins

    What? Men often engage in the latter without the former. For men – they’re not related at all.

    Like


  15. on August 15, 2008 at 7:32 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    I have to say, Roissy’s advice to the second writer, M, was spot-on. He’s already in Let’s Be Friends Land.

    Roissy’s way out does work, but you have to be careful and aggressive at the same time. It’s a tricky balance.

    If a woman’s spending a lot of time with a guy, chances are he’s not a total reject, because women avoid those (it lowers their social standing, esp. in a school setting). Rather, he is on the periphery of her dating radar, and the thing that brings him closer is behavior to a large degree.

    Roissy’s plan will work if done right, but I’d like to recommend throwing alcohol into the mix. Drinks are often truth serum for women — even one drink — and that’s when you can morph from a Beta into an Alpha. Men get the upper hand after sex, but if a woman’s kind of prissy, that upper hand begins after a drunken make-out session.

    Of cours,e then you’ll wonder why you wanted to have some grad school beeotch on your hands, but sometimes it’s fun just to know you can lure ’em in.

    Like


  16. you’d be surprised just how many women choose the latter.

    The choice is between degrading yourself or maintaining dignity, and associating with a beta male is a sign of low status. It’s similar to how some beta males would rather stay alone than date ugly or fat women.

    Like


  17. then you’ll wonder why you wanted to have some grad school beeotch on your hands

    Grad school “beeotches” meet family approved standards for a long-term marriage partner.

    Like


  18. #1 – Clearly you’re just not pretty enough to get this man to make a commitment, you should immediately stop investing in all other aspects of yourself. Just take out a loan to have a good plastic surgeon re-arrange your entire face. The recovery from the surgery should afford you the opportunity to start abusing prescription pain killers so you can drop those extra 10 lbs you’re carrying around. Plus, while you’re off “recovering” – he’ll think you’re playing hard to get. Don’t worry – he probably doesn’t notice you much now so while he may think “something has changed” upon you return, he won’t be able to put his finger on it. Just tell him you got a new hair cut. When the kids come out fugly, it will be too late for him to turn back. If he divorces you – saddle him with your plastic sugery debt.

    #2 – Why are you bothering with grad school? The Asians are taking all of the white collar jobs anyway. Do you see any hot chicks flocking to date Asians? Just drop out and deal drugs. That should get any worthwhile broad’s undivided attention. I’ll put you in touch with #1 – she’ll need a steady supply of coke soon to keep up her new slender figure.

    #3 – If you have to ask, “beta” would be a promotion for you.

    Like


  19. on August 15, 2008 at 8:05 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    David Alexander said: “Grad school “beeotches” meet family approved standards for a long-term marriage partner.”

    No they don’t, David. There was a Wall Street Journal last yeary that showed that the higher level of education a woman has, the more likely she is to divorce her husband.

    This doesn’t sound like a good marriage partner to me. In fact, knowingly marrying a high-risk divorce woman and having kids with her sounds irresponsible at best and like a form of potential child abuse at worst. Again, I’d recommend all the guys going to Glenn Sacks’ blog to find out what happens when women divorce men and there’s kids involved.

    Here is a link to the article which was titled “Women M.B.A.s More Likely To Divorce Than Men:” http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB120701350606879161-lMyQjAxMDI4MDA3MTAwMTEzWj.html

    Like


  20. I’m inclined to think that chick 1 is actually fairly high in the guy’s estimation. He’s just treating her the way Roissy suggests an alpha should. Hmmmm…I’m wondering how chick 1 got Roissy’s contact…maybe the guy is a reader. Maybe he’s Zdeno. Z is from up here, isn’t he?

    Maybe he’s me! No, wait.

    Like


  21. Women with M.B.A.s described themselves as divorced or separated more often than women with only bachelor’s degrees (12% of female M.B.A.s compared with 11% of women with only bachelor’s degrees).

    WOW. I’m glad I never went for that MBA. I’d have a 1% higher chance of being divorced or separated.

    By the way – correlation does not imply causation?

    Like


  22. on August 15, 2008 at 9:04 pm Steve Johnson

    “WOW. I’m glad I never went for that MBA. I’d have a 1% higher chance of being divorced or separated.

    By the way – correlation does not imply causation?”

    What exactly is your point? That women with MBAs have something else different about them that causes them to get divorces and MBAs? So what? Once you know she’s got an MBA she’s in that category and is more likely to divorce you. There are other women out there who, due to circumstances, didn’t get an MBA and have trait x that makes them more likely to divorce but you don’t know if you have one of those on your hands.

    And it’s not 1%, it’s actually almost a 10% increased chance. Increase from 11% to 12% is a 10% (a bit less) increase. That’s not trivial.

    End of reasoning 101 lesson.

    Like


  23. LJBF can be reversed quite regularly; all you need is time apart + appearing more confident the next time you meet. I don’t think you need to go all out gaming like you said, rather just give off a vibe that your time is more valuable, ie she doesn’t ride for free anymore.

    Like


  24. And it’s not 1%, it’s actually almost a 10% increased chance. Increase from 11% to 12% is a 10% (a bit less) increase. That’s not trivial.

    End of reasoning 101 lesson.

    Maybe I should have gone for that MBA after all.

    Like


  25. “…Why don’t you just lick the sweat off his moist hairy balls?”

    Dr. Phil said the same thing on his show this morning in response to some little white trash girl crying that her man left for another woman. Imagine the odds!

    Like


  26. Yes, women will stay with a philanderer. That fact that he’s cheating is proof positive that other women want him. That therefore, he’s worth-while.

    Of course, with kids involved it becomes a disaster. Girls resent their father, pencil in all men as cheaters, and engage in disastrous affairs that makes them absolutely miserable. Guys go overboard in not being a cheater, end up alone, miserable, and predictably misogynist.

    Not to mention the fact that for every guy with a string of girls, there’s an equal number of men without girls (equal to the number of girls – one that is). Who will react negatively, both to the Alpha and to women. Given that modern life enables anonymity, that is not a healthy development.

    But it’s a women’s unlimited choice world, and they want short term benefits. Short term happiness with a man with other girlfriends. Long term unhappiness (probably including STDs, lack of interest by other men, misogyny incrementally increased).

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  27. yo roissy, Circle 2 is for betas – Circle 8 is where it’s at – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Divine_Comedy#Eighth_Circle

    props on the detail of your literary reference, i am forever your acolyte.

    Like


  28. He has stopped finding you attractive and has substituted porn for your warm hole.

    She’s been replaced by porn. I wish that more men would do too.

    No they don’t, David.

    You guys must have relatively low social standards for what constitutes a marriage partner, or your families must obviously not give a shit.

    the higher level of education a woman has, the more likely she is to divorce her husband

    I suspect what’s happening is that in some cases, the women are settling down with beta males to get married, and they’re divorcing them once they become to miserable to tolerate living with him.

    But it’s a women’s unlimited choice world, and they want short term benefits.

    Except the alternative world you describe saddles me with third rate sex with a female who decreases in sexual appeal, but increases in terms financial support.

    probably including STDs

    If the alphas stay clean and the women stay loyal to the alphas, then nobody should be infected.

    lack of interest by other men

    If women are only attracted to alpha men, then it makes sense that most beta men would give up and not bother trying to court such women as it’s a waste of time and money.

    misogyny incrementally increased

    If grown ups are told to accept that they’re not going to become mega-rich and mega-famous, then men will simply have to learn and accept that women are simply luxuries for the alpha male class.

    Like


  29. I applaud you for identifying the dom/sub nature of girl #1.

    However, there is a chance he loves her in a way that most may not understand. This girl sounds like a classic submissive slut- and that’s meant as a compliment. She is on her way to being a superb slave.

    Masters love their slaves. And the slaves love them for it.

    Like


  30. Not to get off-topic or anything, but I just read what is quite possibly the most sickening and disturbing thing imaginable. I am on the verge of vomiting.

    Like


  31. Roissy your advice is correct, right, accurate, and boringly repetitive; as in negative. I think negativity is your specialty.

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  32. Women always: overestimate the power of their beauty, it’s duration, and their beauty itself.

    Girl #1 probably is not as hot as she thinks she is. And all women will have a younger one as a threat.

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  33. “If grown ups are told to accept that they’re not going to become mega-rich and mega-famous, then men will simply have to learn and accept that women are simply luxuries for the alpha male class.”

    Hail, Prophet Alexander !

    Like


  34. Hail, Prophet Alexander

    Interestingly, while I have no problems with Roissy and his fellow alphas pumping and dumping women, I will fight polygamist marriages until the end. Admittedly, it’s because pumping and dumping can sometimes leave women who use beta males for “friendships”. In contrast, polygamy seizes up women for long-term emotional use as well, which is wrong.

    So while Roissy may use the women for sex, I’m using them for friendship and emotional comfort.

    BTW, that group should have been deemed as a cult with the State seizing their assets and the children placed in foster care, adults placed in deprogramming, and the leaders jailed.

    Like


  35. Well, women as luxuries for the Alpha Male class never ends well. Never.

    Moreover David, there is no real difference other than degree between the pump-and-dump “weak” or “soft” polygamy of women chasing Alphas, and the “strong” polygamy of Muslim and FLDS groups.

    Both produce “excess” males who cause trouble. Wonder why Mohammed Atta’s comin at ya in your office window, piloting a 747? Or someone just like him? Simple — he couldn’t have a relationship or get married. Despite being a well trained professional man in Architecture. Educated in Germany even.

    FLDS just dumps young men so they won’t compete with the old farts for 14 year olds girls. Disposable young men. Fortunately there’s not many FLDS so the social cost is bearable — for now.

    Want a simple explanation for Jihad (and the 72 virgins?) It’s the polygamy silly. I see the formation of a similar pattern here. Whenever I hear of some awful shooting, I think of: male, loner, no women in his life, very uber-beta, mental illness erasing boundaries and restraints, often targeting women and Alpha males. The VT shooter, the Columbine kids, the random guy killing lots of people. That’s the pattern I see forming.

    Men in significant numbers, when denied the ability to form families, either engage in various peasant/slave/serf revolts that are EXTREMELY bloody (Taipeng Rebellion killed 20 million, around the time of the US Civil War with much the same weapons), or end up taking over a society that is unable to muster defenders due to Alphas dominating family formation.

    Examples would be the excess Mongol males simply overthrowing the Abbasid Dynasty, the Persian Dynasty, the Turks, and Eastern Europe into Poland. Or Rome overthrowing Egypt. Alexander and his outnumbered men conquering the Persians. Guys will fight plenty hard to protect their wives and children. That of the Alpha? Not.

    And yes that still matters. See Russia. Or ask a Georgian.

    Like


  36. FLDS just dumps young men so they won’t compete with the old farts for 14 year olds girls. Disposable young men. Fortunately there’s not many FLDS so the social cost is bearable — for now.

    whiskey on a roll. what’s new?!?!

    i truly think the west’s GREATEST WEAKNESS is its compassion for those who don’t deserve it.

    this can take a myriad of forms, but there’s no doubt in my mind that this will be the death of the west. an ascendant china will quickly dispose of such antiquated notions. i predict that if the FLDS grows too onerous and society grows too poor and dysfunctional, we’ll see a return to genocidal tactics of alphas who don’t deserve anyone’s sympathy, like the men who run FLDS for starters.

    Like


  37. Men in significant numbers, when denied the ability to form families, either engage in various peasant/slave/serf revolts that are EXTREMELY bloody (Taipeng Rebellion killed 20 million, around the time of the US Civil War with much the same weapons), or end up taking over a society that is unable to muster defenders due to Alphas dominating family formation.

    one critique whiskey. i think razib of gnxp pointed out that the VAST BULK of muslim families are one wife- one husband nuclear families. i know the jihadists of 9-11 were single. but, they weren’t poor or uneducated. i think they were largely single by volition, and they devoted their lives as hermits studying islam with other hermits doing the same. nonetheless, it was by choice and not coerced upon them- unlike the young men FLDS dumps out of the community.

    Like


  38. on August 16, 2008 at 11:09 am SovereignAmericanMale

    29 Emily

    I applaud you for identifying the dom/sub nature of girl #1.

    However, there is a chance he loves her in a way that most may not understand. This girl sounds like a classic submissive slut- and that’s meant as a compliment. She is on her way to being a superb slave.

    Masters love their slaves. And the slaves love them for it.

    Its nice to see another BDSM devotee, on this highly vanilla site, Emily.

    So, Emily, You peaked my curiosity.

    Are you lifestyle or a scene girl?

    Are you well versed on Absolute Power Exchange?

    You write as a switch, or a fem Domme would.

    Like


  39. on August 16, 2008 at 11:16 am SovereignAmericanMale

    @30 Peter

    Uh Peter, how the hell did you wind up landing on a page like that. I mean what key words are you google-ing these days, to wind up at something like that.

    I have bile at the back of my mouth now.

    Like


  40. Uh Peter, how the hell did you wind up landing on a page like that. I mean what key words are you google-ing these days, to wind up at something like that.

    It was on Gothamist, a site of which I’m a regular reader. They had picked it up from an article in the New York Post.

    Like


  41. Re: Shortage of women causing various cultural psychoses:

    1) You think the Muslims are bad, watch China. Their gender imbalance is already bad and will get much worse. With the hypercompetitive nature of their culture, there’ll be some poor schmuck who can’t get laid running off the rails every five minutes. I think the only thing stopping it now is that prostitution is somewhat more available and accepted. Wanna bet that was at least part of what made that nut stab those Americans and then jump off a tower in Beijing?

    2) It’s not just polygamy causing nutjobs to proliferate in Muslim culture, it’s backlash from the knowledge that they’re losing their grip, the same way the Church did in Europe. People who are getting laid regularly, or at least have the hope of it, don’t go around blowing up markets or otherwise kowtowing to celibate men in dresses. It’s only when 72 spiritual virgins are your only shot at sex that you do stupid shit like that. (Unless of course your family is starving to death anyway and you might get them some money to eat with if you do it, but that’s a different problem.) The rabid anti-sexual preaching will only get shriller and shriller and produce more and more wackjobs at the margin until Islam has the equivalent of a Protestant Reformation. They’re about due, aren’t they?

    S

    Like


  42. Well, well, Sovereign A. M. You’ve gone and outed yourself. I hope you weren’t caught in the hack trap that was executed by that sociopath web troll profiled last week in the NYT mag. That would be really embarrassing. Maybe Emily’s just the same guy trying it here.

    I advise caution. Anyway, Patrick Bateman’s probably already killed and eaten her.

    Like


  43. 8675309

    They need to come out with a 10-digit dialing remix.

    Like


  44. 8 Peter [after hearing Roissy’s reference to the analogy “a quick pull on the Brazilian wax strip”] “Christ no, what a vile analogy”
    ===Ah HA! Peter has divulged his kryptonite. How does that make you FEEL, Peter? The image of a THICK, LUSH, DENSE GNP being entirely removed in one shrieking RRRIP! Bwahahahaha!!!

    [end humor, resume serious]

    30 Peter “Not to get off-topic or anything, but I just read what is quite possibly the most sickening and disturbing thing imaginable. I am on the verge of vomiting. [link to article on permanent preteen pubic hair removal via waxing]”
    === Oh man, this could be a whole other post.
    First, there is no reason whatever for that article to have a photo of little Jonbenets. except to rile people. The practitioner quoted in that article must have gagged when she saw it. It was put there just for the shock value: to incite the very emotions Peter expressed, to help flame the stupid equating of mens’ preference for bald eagles with pedophilia. Face it, Peter, you are in the minority. Follow the money, my friend. If men wanted to see GNPs, more porn films would have them.

    What the article *is* about is preteens getting their vellus removed a few times as_a_means_of_lifelong_removal. The purpose of the procedure (for normal people) is not to make 8-year-old beauty pageant contestants look hot, or to make little Muffin enticing to her raping stepfather. That kind of shit is Andrea Dworkin propaganda.

    I’ll grant you that such a permanent treatment may be questionable to have minors doing (what if they wish, as adults, to have a GNP? Few will, but it will happen sometimes). But it is WAY less serious than penile circumcision, which is performed without consent on almost all males and isn’t a mere appearance issue (a GNP has zero utility, while a strong case can be made for foreskin). In both cases, the parent is making a far-reaching decision on behalf of the child.

    In short, I agree that it’s controversial, but only mildly so. What’s puke-worthy about that article is the photo, not the content (except to guys like Peter who love GNPs). I’m not going to lose any sleep over the fact that a few women will wish they could grow a bush later in life. That’s a mighty small problem to have in the scheme of things. Speaking to my own personal preference, I wouldn’t mind if female crotches were (by nature, like a woman’s cheek or palm) bereft of hair. I predict that when genetic engineering gets to the point where such things can be easily controlled, almost all parents will choose for their unborn daughters to have no hair follicles at all excepting the scalp and perhaps the eyebrows. It could even be the case for males, though I admit that’s more speculative. In any case, the point at which that technology exists will also be a point where causing hair follicles to develop in an adult–wherever the person decided he/she wants them–will be a piece of cake. At that point, no one would have reason to be upset about the issue since any 18-year-old will be able to have whatever hair they want, wherever they want it. The parental choices will just be the beginning default and not everlasting.

    Like


  45. “What the article *is* about is preteens getting their vellus removed a few times as_a_means_of_lifelong_removal. ”

    It was a standard procedure in ancient Greece.

    Like


  46. #41: Re the need for an Islamic reformation

    Islam can’t have a Reformation because Islam is a Reformation. That’s part of its problem. Islam already has all the characteristics for which the Reformers fought. Sunni Islam, by far the largest branch of Muslim believers has no equivalent of the Magisterium (the teaching branch of the Catholic Church, which determines the validity of doctrine based on tradition and the Scriptures); no ritual priesthood but rather a priesthood of all believers; faith based upon scripture – the Koran – alone, which each man or woman is essentially free to interpret as he or she likes; and no institutional structure or leader of all Muslims. All these are exactly the issues over which the Reformers of the 16th century fought with the Catholic Church.

    You could destroy all vestiges of institutional Islam, such as they are, and the faith would survive quite nicely. It would have been far more difficult – though no doubt still possible – for Catholicism to survive such a blow, because of the nature of its priesthood and understanding of faith.

    When Iran was still the US’s major Islamic enemy your argument might have made sense, because Shi’a Muslims do have a more ritualized faith, dependent on a kind of priesthood for its celebration. Back in the 1980s, all the analysts went running around saying “see, the Shi’as are exactly like Catholics, and look how much trouble they’re causing compared to those nice, protestant-like Sunnis in Iraq who are being attacked by the wicked Shi’as!”

    Well, we all know what’s happened to that theory since then.

    Clio

    Like


  47. sovereign am-

    I believe I was addressing Roissy in my comment.

    Not a lifestyle girl or a scene girl. Just very adventurous, experimental, and knowledgeable.

    And it’s ‘piqued’, not ‘peaked’.

    PatrickH-

    Not dangerous, or a man. Simply an average woman with unusual interests.

    Like


  48. on August 16, 2008 at 5:30 pm random passerby

    “1) You think the Muslims are bad, watch China. Their gender imbalance is already bad and will get much worse. With the hypercompetitive nature of their culture, there’ll be some poor schmuck who can’t get laid running off the rails every five minutes.”

    Well, I suppose it can happen to some weirdos. I’m not psychologically unstable even though I know for a fact that I will never, during my entire life, have any sort of physical intimacy with women. I guess some people are just weak.

    “2) It’s not just polygamy causing nutjobs to proliferate in Muslim culture, it’s backlash from the knowledge that they’re losing their grip, the same way the Church did in Europe. People who are getting laid regularly, or at least have the hope of it, don’t go around blowing up markets or otherwise kowtowing to celibate men in dresses.”

    Islam is inherently insane and backwards by design, and always has been. Islamic terrorism has nothing to do with women, sex, polygamy, monogamy or the alignment of the planets. Killing unbelievers is simply their religious imperative.

    Like


  49. What the article *is* about is preteens getting their vellus removed a few times as_a_means_of_lifelong_removal.

    It was a standard procedure in ancient Greece.

    Yeah, well, the ancient Greeks were also champion fudge-packers. We should imitate them? Christ, what a ghastly thought.

    Like


  50. @47 Emily –

    I looked at your site, cool. Especially the big t*t fetish 🙂

    So what’s your opinion on the Glorious Natural Pelt issue?

    Like


  51. The Abyss
    666 Dante Blvd.
    Circle 2
    8675309

    Is this for real, roissy? Wow, you’re so evil.

    Like


  52. God, not another fake trend causing another fake panic. Look, just because a couple of neurotic mothers in Manhattan are having their daughters waxed doesn’t mean it’s a trend. The chance of this happening is probably 1 in a million.

    And it doesn’t matter that elite parents are doing it, as though they’re going to influence the bulk of society below them — have you ever walked into Walmart or hung out in a prole house and thought, “These people are imitating the culture of the rich and powerful”?

    Like


  53. Emily 47: And it’s ‘piqued’, not ‘peaked’.

    I guess from your correction of SAM’s language, that you like to swing from the top end of the bat.

    Nice to encounter you, in any case. Very interesting blog. Look forward to hearing more from you, there, here, elsewhere.

    Like


  54. E-mail 1 was written by a dude.

    Like


  55. Cantankerous — Mohammed Atta, for example, was from a middle class family in Egypt. However, the shortage of available women, caused by wealthy men bidding up the bride price, left him without any ability to find a “proper Muslim girl” which is a common lament among Jihadis. It’s significant that the one 9/11 plotter among the pilots who wished to back out was married (to a German Girl).

    It doesn’t matter if “most” (something I really doubt, given under-reporting of polygamy by wishy-washy PC Western researchers) marriages are single wives, if enough are polygamous, it reduces the available pool of women and causes unhealthy attitudes among men: advance by conquest. That mobilization of men was of course, Islam’s “secret weapon” culturally during it’s expansionist years in the first few centuries after Mohammed’s death.

    Sardonic Slob — Islam has already had it’s Protestant Revolution, which is Wahabbist Islam/Salafism. Rejecting syncretic approaches incorporating “pagan” elements and a corrupt attitude towards “sin.” Quite Calvinist. Poor Muslims hardly ever make the news blowing people up. The poverty and isolation of Chad, Mauritania, etc. leaves them busy with struggling to survive. The dangerous ones are those with time, money, resentment (at no women). Technology makes them equal in a way, destructively, to even a modern army. Anthrax or nukes, or chemical weapons. Or a hijacked 747.

    Yes, I fully expect China to be an aggressive power, wrt it’s neighbors. It would be shocking if it were not.

    Like


  56. Jenny Jenny who can I turn to?
    867-5309
    867-5309

    Guess the band.

    Like


  57. 56: Tommy Tutone.

    Like


  58. on August 16, 2008 at 10:35 pm SovereignAmericanMale

    @47 Emily

    And it’s ‘piqued’, not ‘peaked’.

    Ahh yes. If you look to my past posts on this message board, I clearly have shown the correct usage of piqued.

    I knew what I was doing.

    Which raises a interesting point, for you Emily.

    Do you know why, you felt the need to correct me?

    Was it common courtesy, like: “hey dude, your zipper is down”.

    Or something darker and more sinister?

    Like


  59. 26 whiskey

    Yes, women will stay with a philanderer. That fact that he’s cheating is proof positive that other women want him. That therefore, he’s worth-while.

    My hormones must be peaking today, because this comes off as an extremely ignorant statement; not that roissy wouldn’t agree with you. Please allow me to set you straight. This scenario has nothing whatever to do with his “value”. Your statement is akin to saying a crack addicts addiction proves the value of crack.

    Women get sexually addicted to men and believe me, if there was an easy cure, they would take it. It’s the most extreme form of chemical addiction. Women who are addicted to philanderers hate them and themselves for being unable to break away. The only value is a huge lesson in what has no real value.

    Like


  60. SAM 59:

    Emily wants to top your ass, amigo.

    Like


  61. on August 17, 2008 at 2:29 am SovereignAmericanMale

    @59 sara I

    I think its more like, because women fight over a man, he must have a value. Even if he doesn’t.

    But then I have noticed something about canines. I toss a pair of toys to two different dogs, and one will be indifferent about his toy, but the moment the other dog show pleasure in his own, the other runs over and tries to take it.

    I don’t want “any” toy he thinks, I want “that” fun one.

    Enter the dog fight.

    And yes… I have a-dick-ted more then a few women. The chains around the heart are the hardest to break. Sorta like the string in some Doll’s back. Oh Wait… its Exactly like that.

    Its a good thing I am an empathic & benevolent master these days. I used to be a cruel and merciless man.

    The king size, shackle equipped, headboard in the storeroom still reads in 5 inch Old English script:

    “Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here”.

    Like


  62. on August 17, 2008 at 2:41 am SovereignAmericanMale

    @60 PatrickH

    She may get to, try to top from the bottom, if she can prove herself worthy.

    However, Her DDs are one strike against her, out of the starting blocks.

    “Anything more then a mouthful is a waste”.

    But by God, the woman ain’t built yet, to top the Sovereign.

    Like


  63. 61 S.A.M.

    The chains around the heart are the hardest to break. Sorta like the string in some Doll’s back. Oh Wait… its Exactly like that.

    Sorry Romeo, but you flatter youself. Love and addiction are not exactly the same thing. Bottom line they were addicted to their own hormones. It wasn’t you in particular; it could have been any dick. It’s called animal instinct. Very far removed from human spirit.

    The king size, shackle equipped, headboard in the storeroom still reads in 5 inch Old English script:

    “Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here”.

    Assuming your serious–are you serious? Does your little virginal Halo know what a pervert you are? This kind of crap is for people who are so jaded that only gross overstimulation gets them off. You sound like a very desensitized person who needs more and more sensation just to feel something.

    I think Chic Noir and I should meet for a girl chat and decide once and for all to give up this stupid blog site; speaking of fascination with the negative.

    Like


  64. Sara, most women DO stay with a philanderer.

    First, it’s hardly shocking. A guy who was dating other women besides his wife is not going to be a shock when he does that in marriage.

    Second, women respond to assessments of value in men by other women. When George had the picture of “Man Hands” in Seinfeld, as his supposed girlfriend, and it worked (beautiful women went out with him), it was funny. BECAUSE it was true.

    Some guys even resort to having pretty women make over them in bars just to validate their worth. Very effective.

    You did not see Silda Spitzer, or Hillary Clinton, or Gary Condit’s wife running for the exits. That each had affairs or sex with other women PROVED their men were worthwhile.

    Women do not like cheating, but they’ll put up with it. Men just won’t.

    Like


  65. 64 whiskey

    Second, women respond to assessments of value in men by other women.

    I guess this is some of the reigning bullshit on this site. You’re in good company, whiskey! But 99% of what’s touted as knowledge or wisdom just has no application in my life. I’m hoping to break this bad habit very soon. Whatever garbage you believe in, may be true for some regretful percentage of the population. But who cares? It’s completely uninspiring to say the least. Bye-bye…….

    Like


  66. on August 17, 2008 at 8:43 am SovereignAmericanMale

    Sara, but love is addictive. Here is a general knowledge fact: Women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex.
    That love & sex produces intense hormones for the first 24 months a couple is together that addicts the pair to each other, natures gift to help foster child birth and rearing.

    Bottom line they were addicted to their own hormones. It wasn’t you in particular; it could have been any dick. It’s called animal instinct.

    And here is a fact for you.

    It couldn’t have been any dick, yet it takes more then just a dick.

    Degree of female orgasm magnitude x number of them = How much more she feels in love with you.

    Sara, my virginal Halo, is very aware of my bdsm dominant nature. She is a BDSM Submissive. She knows exactly what kind of a perv I am, and she loves me all the more for it. She knows how *Not* desensitized I am. She knows my empathy.

    Apparently you have no idea of the joys of bondage, and the amount of time spent learning the art form called Shibbari (very erotic, Japanese rope bondage).

    Also you failed to note the headboard is in storage. As in I don’t use it anymore.

    As for your girl chat and all that…

    Don’t let the door hit you, where the Lord split you.
    If like a woman, you change your mind, welcome back.

    If you don’t like the show change the channel, but for crying out loud stop bitchin’.

    While your up bring me, Ham Sammich.

    Thank You.

    Like


  67. 64: You did not see Silda Spitzer, or Hillary Clinton, or Gary Condit’s wife running for the exits. That each had affairs or sex with other women PROVED their men were worthwhile.

    Their staying very likely has far more to do with other aspects of the lifestyle that the semblance of unity allows them to perpetuate.

    It’s a mistake to look at very public marriages as templates: there’s a lot more business than romance/sex involved in them than there is in marriages not under the media microscope.

    Like


  68. @ Sara

    Love and addiction are not exactly the same thing. Bottom line they were addicted to their own hormones. It wasn’t you in particular; it could have been any dick. It’s called animal instinct. Very far removed from human spirit.

    Yes, and that animal instinct has evolved in yourself and other women to respond most intensely to high-value males, even when your more “civilized” intentions decree otherwise — and are usually powerless to stop.

    So when an aging beauty finds that she can’t court the alphas of her heyday, she will often recast her somatic memory of the actual value of those alphas as some sort of “sickness”. This affords her the opportunity to obsfucate the actual superior value of those mates and by extension, allow her to “discover” all sorts of new “qualities” and “hidden value” in her new beta-male lovers.

    How’s that working out for you, BTW?

    I think Chic Noir and I should meet for a girl chat and decide once and for all to give up this stupid blog site; speaking of fascination with the negative.

    Shit or get off the pot already. Damn.

    TC

    Like


  69. I’ll note Sara, that a number of women have written about how they helped male friends of theirs by feigning interest in him in bars, then left, came back and were amazed to see how women responded by coming on to the guy.

    It always works — even Larry David knew it well.

    There’s probably a business opportunity there — women showing up as a “date” to “feign interest” in some guy, then leave.

    Women will put up with cheating. Not all women, and not all the same level. But other women wanting their guy — it means he’s worthwhile having. This is reality.

    Women praise many things about men: looks, power, physique, aggressiveness. Fidelity and faithfulness? Never. It isn’t that important for most women.

    Children? Yes. Most definitely so. But that’s another story.

    Like


  70. An excellent post, and Mrs. Cowen (who was born and raised in Moscow) got a big kick out of seeing her name.

    Like


  71. Dirtball said: “LJBF can be reversed quite regularly; all you need is time apart + appearing more confident the next time you meet.”

    He’s right. Somehow when you are better than the last time they saw you you are suddenly irresistable. Once again, if you want people to fucus on you — focus on yourself.

    Like


  72. Sara, my virginal Halo, is very aware of my bdsm dominant nature. She is a BDSM Submissive. She knows exactly what kind of a perv I am, and she loves me all the more for it. She knows how *Not* desensitized I am. She knows my empathy.
    Apparently you have no idea of the joys of bondage, and the amount of time spent learning the art form called Shibbari (very erotic, Japanese rope bondage).

    Blecch. Sexual fetishes are gross. Unless it’s a nice wholesome fetish, like mine.

    Like


  73. I’m a beta (at least I know, just found out), and when I imagine what it’s like to be an alpha, things like status and money and respect are usually at least implied in the scenario.

    But what am I imagining *doing* as an alpha?

    Fucking the women.

    Like