Your Girlfriend’s Friends Are Your Enemy

Here’s a helpful tip for all the men out there: If your girlfriend starts spending a lot of time with her girl friends, and begins speaking of them in glowing terms, you are being slandered. Count on it. This is how girls bond.

When you first begin dating a girl you’ll notice that she’s all too happy to build a connection with you on the backs of her girl friends. Her cattiness will be a sound to behold. If the world were a scratching post, women would be shredding it to its solid inner core. Knowing this compulsion for betrayal amongst women, you can capitalize by joining her in the robust disparagement. She will appreciate your sympathy and you’ll instill that good old-fashioned co-conspirator feeling in her.

Where it gets tricky is when suddenly, one day, she tells you about the great time she had last night drinking til all hours with her BFF Bitches-a-Lot. Recalling that BFF Bitches-a-Lot is the same friend your girlfriend informed you last week was a skank ho, you inquire as to whether Bitches-a-Lot’s skank ho-dom made an appearance last night. Now pay attention to her answer. Does your girlfriend laugh at your roguery and basically agree with you? You’re in the clear. Or does she patronizingly chide you for saying such horrible things, and then wax eloquently about how wonderful a friend BFF Bitches-a-Lot really is to her?

If the latter, you, my good man, were last night’s scratching post. Your girlfriend and Bitches-a-Lot renewed their BFF love over your moldering carcass. Caustic bean spilling and thinly veiled innuendo were served last night, and you were the main dish. Your dog was the garnish.

Never EVER trust a circle of happy girl friends. If you see a sly smile on your girlfriend’s friend’s face, know that they spent last night cackling over what a buffoon you are, and, if the BFF’s white-hot jealousy breached the conversational etiquette, snidely insinuating that you are:

  1. an unrepentant player
  2. a man ho
  3. selfish
  4. an asshole
  5. likely cheating
  6. bad boyfriend material and
  7. leaving tremendous logs in the toilet.

Who cares if all the above are true? The point is that as a man you shouldn’t tolerate saboteurs in your girlfriend’s ranks attempting to disrupt the good thing you’ve got going on. Single, overweight BFF’s are your absolute worst enemy, because their bitterness at being single and fat will only be assuaged by the cathartic release of wrecking your relationship with your girlfriend. Idle vaginas are the devil’s playthings. A single, fat BFF wants nothing more in life than the company of misery.

Unfortunately, there is not much a man can do *directly* to avoid the machinations of bitter BFFs. Stay a powerful alpha force in your girlfriend’s life, and she’ll humor her friends’ dangerous gossip games. It helps to remind yourself that a woman will never leave a man she loves based on the poison words of even her bestest BFFs.

If you want to be more proactive, an effective counterattack is shame. Women may have a bag full of shit tests and impenetrable bitch shields, but a rip roaring public shaming will bring them to their knees. The next time you are out with your girlfriend and her friends, casually ask the bitterest BFF how her dating life is going. Nod sympathetically as you mention how tough dating in this city can be for those of you who are very picky, and then tell her a good man who can appreciate her *interesting* personality is right around the corner. Remind her that when you were single, you got to catch up on a lot of hobbies, like kite flying and antique shopping. Hide your smirk.





Comments


  1. “Women would find life easier if they picked up men’s socks and cleaned the bathroom”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1209154/Fay-Weldon-Women-life-easier-picked-mens-socks-cleaned-loo.html

    So true . . . a feminist realizes the truth . . .

    Like


  2. It amazes me how many guys don’t realize this. I do notice a difference in how bad of enemy they are though:

    1. Friends she met in post college life, who have BF or are married = relatively low.
    2. Friends from childhood = usually, relatively low
    3. Friends from college who have ALWAYS lived in the same town as her post college =medium
    4. Friends from post college life who are single =medium
    5. The BIG ONE, friends from high school or college who she has been seperated from for a while =DANGER, DANGER, DANGER

    Like


  3. One more note: The same friends who harp on her for “not getting a ring from him yet” will be the same ones down the road her high five her and tell her “you-go-girl” when she decides to get a divorce.

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  4. 1. an unrepentant player
    2. a man ho
    3. selfish
    4. an asshole
    5. likely cheating
    6. bad boyfriend material and
    7. leaving tremendous logs in the toilet.

    All alpha traits, so it cold be worse. You’ll be in the shitter when they start calling you a pussy and a wimp.

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  5. They’re saboteurs, without question. I first learned that in High School, when the BFFs of my first HS girlfriend undermined me relentlessly. This is the way of the world — her friends are your enemies –> unfortunate, but true.

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  6. on August 26, 2009 at 12:40 pm The Fifth Horseman

    RJS,

    Are you going to do a detialed posting on how to work the Nevada family trust law in order to shield assets and income (even if the income is from a corporate employer)?

    Or did you post this elsewhere already?

    Like


  7. on August 26, 2009 at 12:41 pm snatch magnet

    Great post, truer words were never spoken.
    Misery in fact, not only loves company but actively seeks to obtain company.
    Right below the fat, single friend on the danger scale, is the recently single lush friend who seeks to take your lady friend out for endless ‘girls nights out’. That girl attempts to renew her slutty days of yore as recompense for being dumped by what she will only describe as a no good …blah blah blah.. asshole.

    Like


  8. Women will always talk about their men behind their backs with their girlfriends.

    There is really nothing much you can do to stop this. I know since I work with mostly women.

    Best thing you can do is maintain your game and not really give a shit until you have to.

    Never underestimate the importance of not giving a shit.

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  9. @ Snatch Magnet: “Right below the fat, single friend on the danger scale, is the recently single lush friend who seeks to take your lady friend out for endless ‘girls nights out’.

    I think the lush is actually more of a danger. Most girls dont really think of fatties as their equals and thus dont really count their opinions as much. The luch is bad news all the way and the “girls night out” is always a scam.

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  10. 1. an unrepentant player
    2. a man ho
    3. selfish
    4. an asshole
    5. likely cheating
    6. bad boyfriend material and
    7. leaving tremendous logs in the toilet.

    If your girl is saying this about you, you immediately need to go find her friends and try to bang them. Because they will all be aching to fuck you. The only thing missing is “his cock is too big and he is always hard and inconsiderately jamming it in me like a classless animal”

    Now if she says:

    1. considerate
    2. treats her like a queen
    3. wonderful boyfriend
    4. incredibly loyal
    5. nice guy
    6. never shits or farts or does anything offensive

    That’s when your in trouble. She’ll be sucking random scumbag cock in a week.

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  11. The courtiers discuss the king. The bigger they talk in private, the smaller they feel in your presence. This is loading the cannon for a public, high-stakes shit-test.

    Your girl will appreciate that you allowed her to be the center of attention for the duration of the night. Give her drama every once in a while to talk about on nights like these; give her the ability to steal the attention of the group away from a friend’s relationship and turn that attention to her and her relationship with you.

    These nights are not casualties, with damages to be minimized, but opportunities. Play them right, and she will love you.

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  12. on August 26, 2009 at 12:57 pm snatch magnet

    @Joe
    You won’t have to try very hard to bone her friends, especially if they are seeking to undermine you. They will enthusiastically offer up their cock holsters to you. The catch is no sooner have they drained you of the last drop, they will almost certainly go to your girl and confess the deed and seek forgiveness. That my friend is one of the hardest situations to overcome. Odds are that your girl will stay true to the sisterhood of the drooling ya ya and you will be left in the cold.

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  13. @Joe Sort of, but girls are not this self aware. They wouldnt actually call a “nice guy” a “nice guy.” They would call the asshole/cheater who makes their gina-tingle a nice guy.

    In reality what you need to watch out for is “bored/boring”,”not always comptable”,”adventure”,”energy”,”motivated”,”talented”,”butterflies”….catch phrases like this. They spell trouble.

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  14. In other news, older Brazilian men (60s) are marrying twentysomething women:

    http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5j4kRaee74hsEIN15BUNQ-SrvMYKQ

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  15. It is a good counter example of women lacking real intuition.

    If they had real intuition, they would think about the consequences of trying to fit in with their girlfriends (and their girlfriend’s motivations).

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  16. Carl Sagan

    There is really nothing much you can do to stop this. I know since I work with mostly women.

    You may not be able to completely stop it but you can attenuate it.

    You can shame her about airing intimate laundry. You can ridicule female gossip about their SO’s. You can talk darkly about how you regard disloyalty.

    As well personally I tend to go for girls who aren’t into a pack of female friends. That’s the worst. The female pack. They can be more influential that you, especially is anything goes wrong.

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  17. on August 26, 2009 at 1:19 pm Comment_Whatever

    ed said:

    Single, overweight BFF’s are your absolute worst enemy, because their bitterness at being single and fat will only be assuaged by the cathartic release of wrecking your relationship with your girlfriend.

    Even a woman’s sister will undermine her relationship, deliberately, and with planning, out of nothing more than jealousy. I’ve seen it.

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  18. A key to happiness with your woman: be more alpha then her girlfriends’ men.

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  19. Hmmm… true insight.

    And to illustrate just how screwy these women really are, I have always kinda noticed that since women yap so much about their sex lives (in great detail) to these same friends, if you were an inventive, fun, exciting lover… who also ends up walking away from your now shrewish ex-girlfriend without much drama or fanfare, but simply walks away as if she were the mere easily-replaced sperm toilet she has proven herself to be… the same friends who sabatoged your relationship with princess will often find an excuse to present themselves to you sexually in short order.

    So, if one must be angry and hurt about Princess humiliating you by running off with the thug across the tracks… be polite, tell her that you enjoyed the time you spent together, never speak ill of her to anyone, and 2 weeks later start grudge fucking her best friend… and hopefully do some raw kinky things to the friend that you NEVER did with Princess… and then walk away without ever giving either of them a second thought again. Don’t worry, the best friend won’t be able to keep her mouth shut about it, and you can stand back and go “what the hell did I do?” And walk away with an evil smirk on your face.

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  20. Girl friends usually speak kindly of their friends’ beta BFs. Absent of any jealousy factor, girls can rationalize telling their friends that they’ve got a decent deal. The truth is that IF girls are rational beings, betas are generally better deals.

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  21. The good news is that once you get into a serious LTR or get married, your woman ditch her single girlfriends. And once you have kids, she will prefer the company of other women with their own children.

    At worst, those women can be minor nuisances, but rarely saboteours.

    But if your LTR woman still spends time with her partygirl single GFs, that’s a red flag.

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  22. Doug1: In an exchange with 5H at In Male Fide, when claiming that traditionalists had been heedlessly asleep as feminist-promoted misandrist laws were passed, he mentioned that these laws were “changed in secret, with no chance for the public to vote on them, or even learn about them when they change.” He then said that you were the resident expert on how these furtive amendments of divorce laws were implemented. Not being knowledgeable on the subject, could you elaborate?

    Like


  23. I can relate to this post. One of my earliest relationships was consummated because I was my girlfriend’s shoulder to cry on over some drama she was having with her friends. A relationship that took place years ago just after high school. I was Sir Lancelot, White Knight extraordinaire, coming to her rescue. She ripped most of her friends apart in mind numbing detail.

    When it was all said and done, she was back in her friends good graces, chiding me for being an asshole in my attitude about her “best” friends. When we broke up, I was persona non grata with her pals who, previously, I had gotten along pretty well with. I can only imagine how my character was assassinated in gabby girl get-togethers when I wasn’t around.

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  24. on August 26, 2009 at 2:09 pm Cannon's Canon

    Stan has it right. The danger of BFF Bitches-a-lot is in her calling you a beta. As we learned earlier, sluts are not less discriminating, and BFF’s beta radar will be highly functional and a boastful tool.

    My friend lives with his girlfriend of many years. The last time I visited them, I intimated my opinion that her newest BFF was a morally bankrupt whore. After being needled about the stud/slut double-standard with regard to my own application of game, I elaborated to my friend’s girlfriend that spending extended time with this BFF would turn her into the same whore through empathy, proximity, and eventual opportunity.

    In the face of this logic, the welcome mat for me was removed. My buddy understands my viewpoint but prioritizes assuaging his girlfriend’s ego via the path of least resistance. No future predictions are necessary.

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  25. Madras said…

    “5. The BIG ONE, friends from high school or college who she has been seperated from for a while =DANGER, DANGER, DANGER”

    Abso-fucking-lutely. I make a point of gaming my girlfriends friends to keep them all on side but the one from out of town who you’ve never met can come back Nosferatu-like and bite you on the arse…

    If your woman starts corresponding/talking with people from their distant past then be very on your toes.

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  26. Prosec:

    Doug1: In an exchange with 5H at In Male Fide, when claiming that traditionalists had been heedlessly asleep as feminist-promoted misandrist laws were passed, he mentioned that these laws were “changed in secret, with no chance for the public to vote on them, or even learn about them when they change.” He then said that you were the resident expert on how these furtive amendments of divorce laws were implemented. Not being knowledgeable on the subject, could you elaborate?

    You’re asking for a book, or a magazine length discourse, which I’m not going to give. As well, I’m not really an expert on the topic but I have researched it some. I’d have to more to give a really competent full discourse. Though I have no doubt at all about the basic outlines of it.

    Mainly I’m simply old enough to have been a sentient and “religious” news following being at the time the early 90’s divorce law changes were being put through under the “dead beat dads” slogan.

    In a nutshell, the media was just about totally complicit with the feminists, with essential no demurs. As well there was not effective men’s lobbying group in opposition. There undoubted were some legislators who were resistant to some extent but there was no movement behind them.

    The net net was that even though I was reading the NY Times and Wall St. Journal religously virtually every day around then in those pre net news days, I had no idea how large the child support=alimony really was being hiked up to be, or that it was uncapped effectively in most states (that actually was often a somewhat later development) or that fault was being systematically removed not just from being ABLE to get a divorce, but in how the payout to a flagrantly cheating wife would go. (Extending no fault that far was also often a few years later than the initial hiking up of the child support=alimony law changes.) Oh, at the same time the feminist ideology that marriage is an economic partnership in which the woman automatically has a 50% stake was also being put through. I also had no idea that was going through or that it was utterly uncapped, even for very high earning or wealth men, until well after it already had been.

    If I didn’t know this was going on, a Stanford grad, and associate in a very big BigLaw firm in NYC at the time or some of this time, before doing something else similarly high end, who the hell among civilians and not family law insiders did? Just about no one.

    The media NEVER highlighted any opposition or objections to all or any of this that I can recall. Or only in the weakest and most limited and obfuscatory way. Stuff about men’s privacy and too much state enforcement I dimly recall.

    Instead it seemed to all be about collecting money from “dead beat dads” so welfare had to pick up less of the tab. That’s how it was sold. Really.

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  27. “Girl friends usually speak kindly of their friends’ beta BFs. Absent of any jealousy factor, girls can rationalize telling their friends that they’ve got a decent deal. The truth is that IF girls are rational beings, betas are generally better deals.”

    Pupu is right, as always.

    Like


  28. on August 26, 2009 at 3:29 pm snatch magnet

    @Stu
    I believe what you are referring to is commonly known as Facebook. Its a bitch

    Like


  29. @Snatch magnet (great moniker btw)

    thats why in very serious relationships (only serious ones…like headed to the dreaded M-word), you need to find out her passwords. There are some great keyloggers out there.

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  30. Snatch Magnet Right below the fat, single friend on the danger scale, is the recently single lush friend who seeks to take your lady friend out for endless ‘girls nights out’

    You’re right, unless your girlfriend has a strong will, this friend is best to be avoided. The wild child friend will have your meek girlfriend drinking shots until she’s drunk and making out with random dudes at the bar.

    Like


  31. on August 26, 2009 at 3:54 pm snatch magnet

    chic, tru dat.

    Like


  32. The truth is that IF girls are rational beings, betas are generally better deals.

    cosigning finefantastic and PUPU

    A dirty dog beta will try to use his girlfriend’s friend’s admiration of him to score some side poon. … but I know none of the guys here fit the bill.

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  33. @ Anfernee

    thats why in very serious relationships (only serious ones…like headed to the dreaded M-word), you need to find out her passwords. There are some great keyloggers out there.

    I think this is a bit excessive. Of course, I’m not much for behind-his/her-back-ness and/or snooping. That’s not really ok in my book. Sure, maybe you’ll find secret lovers…and maybe you’re looking for that. But it sounds like you’re just looking for correspondence with old friends which is why it’s…excessive.

    Of course, I could probably tell my boyfriend all my passwords and he’d forget them in five seconds. I’m not sure if he knows the difference between Facebook and “World of Starcraft.”

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  34. (I’m kidding, of course, he totally knows the difference…but he does call it “World of Starcraft,” along with “Luhu.” Luddite.)

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  35. “but a rip roaring public shaming will bring them to their knees. The next time you are out with your girlfriend and her friends, casually ask the bitterest BFF how her dating life is going. Nod sympathetically as you mention how tough dating in this city can be for those of you who are very picky, and then tell her a good man who can appreciate her *interesting* personality is right around the corner. Remind her that when you were single, you got to catch up on a lot of hobbies, like kite flying and antique shopping. Hide your smirk.”

    My sense of humor is slightly different than most people’s (I really *like* Tom Wolfe novels), so the above paragraph was very comically fufilling to me. One could “savor the taste” of the looks on the bitter-cunts faces while their own heart swells with ecstacy, and bring the conversation up privately with their girlfriend later, to do a sackdance about how easily they dispatched with her “respected friend”.

    As a matter of fact, one could really go for some zingers with his girlfriend later by asking (after a good hard fuck), what kind of dildos, plugs, porn, and vibrators that bitter BFF has, and if the answer is zero, one could suggest that they send some to her anonymously only to see the GF’ face turn pink (again!) with co-consipiratorial delight. You could use this hypothetical conversation as a reminder of your bond against the hag at a later date for needed leverage at a stressful time.

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  36. on August 26, 2009 at 5:34 pm a really big fucking deal

    Who cares about what she talks about so long as her mouth is on your dick that night?

    Like


  37. There are upsides to befriending your girlfriends girlfriends, too: it’s both an easy and an enjoyable way to game your girl. Just keep in mind that girls gossip, that’s what they do, and use that.

    (This is especially true when it comes down to negative comments. Actually, maybe short of night of unfathomable passion with the mighty rod, there’s nothing a girl desires more than to tell her friend negative remarks _someone else_ has made about her.)

    An example. I had made plans for gayishly romantic weekend with a girl, but cancelled at last minute to go drinking and fishing with my mates. She was furious, kept calling and texting me, threatening to say goodbye for good. I texted her that we’ll talk later, and then didn’t answer.

    When I got back I saw her best friend who asked me how my weekend was, trying to be sarcastic, and I said something like: “It was ok, even though it took me a while to get in to the holiday mood because of XXX. I don’t know… maybe it’s not gonna work out between us, if she’s so selfish as to try to ruin my weekend with my buddies…”

    Later that same night she came over, pretending to be extremely enraged, called me a lousy hypocrite with double standards, and then we had the best sex we probably ever had.

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  38. Any woman who lets some lame new man she’s porking disparage her girlfriends, doesn’t deserve to have friends.

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  39. “Never underestimate the importance of not giving a shit.”

    I couldn’t agree more.

    An ex of mine would bitch out her friends all the time. It was a turn off, really. Her friends were complete whores. One was fucking her married boss. The other was fucking three dudes, one of whom was a drug dealer. Immoral creatures. I’m sure she was getting great advice from them :S

    Since your GF will mention, to her friends, every bad thing you do, it can be useful to occasionally, and randomly, do some nice shit for her, to keep her friends on your side.

    I refuse to meet a woman’s friends until at least 3 months in. Keep the mystery strong. When you do meet them, dress sharp, be funny and positive, and run game on them.

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  40. Rightriver–

    Great story.

    called me a lousy hypocrite with double standards

    When a girl accuses you of having double standards, enthusiastically agree. Then say of course, men and women are significantly different and also naturally play different roles. So of course there are and should be double standards, despite what feminists say.

    Embrace being anti-feminist, other than being ok with women competing for any position they can win without AA or favoritism in the workplace.

    In general never be defense but rather enthusiastically agree with any alleged flouting of feminist and thus now PC dogma.

    Yes you’re sexist in some ways. No being anti-feminist isn’t being misogynist aka a hater of women. Just feminists. Yes you believe men should be dominant. No you don’t believe in 100% female equality – sure women should have equal (but not more than equal such as AA) legal rights, and sure women are equally valuable (but not more valuable). However men should naturally have more power and status and should naturally lead, both generally and in most harmonious relationships. It’s biological. With rare exceptions.

    And so on.

    Not saying you don’t know this. I’m using your mention of her double standards accusation as a springboard, is all.

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  41. Her friends were complete whores.

    Never be afraid to judge the quality of a women by the quality of her friends. Whores and degenerates hang around with other whores and degenerates.

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  42. Thursday–

    Never be afraid to judge the quality of a women by the quality of her friends. Whores and degenerates hang around with other whores and degenerates.

    Right.

    And even if she hasn’t acted on it yet, she’s likely tempted and fascinated. As well they’re almost certainly trying to recruit her especially at the first sign of any kind of disturbance in your relationship.

    Her having a single and not too close such friend isn’t that bad, especially if that friend is something of a help project on the part of your gf. But if she has several of them, and not a lot more of the other kind, real bad news.

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  43. Speaking of this, have been attempting to help my friend out in her fledgeling relationship:
    Her: “I’m really getting annoyed now. He still thinks I’m breaking up with him every time I can’t answer a call.”
    Me [actually have pointed this out first time he did it]:”He really needs to stop that… comes off as insecure. But you know, these days, men aren’t taught to act like men anymore. So bear with him and try to get into his head.”
    Her: “I’ve tried telling him I’m not that kind of girl and I’d just tell him if I wanted to break up with him…”
    Me: “No, that doesn’t work. Men don’t understand that. I know, tell him it is a Turn Off.”
    Her: “… I’ll try that.”

    Like


  44. on August 26, 2009 at 9:06 pm msexceptiontotherule

    I did the stats/scorebook when the mr. played baseball with a local men’s rec league (btw, I was never a baseball fan, so I had no clue how to keep score before this point) – I think I went through an entire weekend of watching pro games dvr’d and doublechecking sources online figuring out what I was supposed to keep stats on and how – but that’s all just lead-in material for the point –

    Sitting on the bleachers with the other wives and girlfriends was annoying, not to mention distracting me from my all-important task of keeping stats and answering questions from the official scorekeeper who didn’t do his job much. These women weren’t my friends, which totally didn’t bother me at all, having to sit near them was kind of embarassing really. They constantly tried to drag me into conversations they had regarding their sex lives, what their husbands were like at home, blah blah blah – not my kind of discussion to have, particularly with alchohol-excreting, personality deprived, whiney, bitchy (and not in the hot sexy way kind of bitch) housewife sluts. I don’t share that kind of trashy-gossip information with the friends I’ve had for the last 15 & 24 years, even after we’ve had a few drinks. The whole first season was miserable. The second one was not going to be the same endless weeks of misery, I was adamant. So the first one to ask me how things were with the mr. and myself was the example for the rest of them. I was mean, and I was *right*, particularly when referring to things that weren’t supposed to be known outside of their little bitch circle, but I didn’t have to deal with them sitting anywhere near me afterwards. Which was the point.

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  45. Well, the good news (sort of?) is that no matter how many times a girl’s friends tell her that she should break up with her boyfriend, she won’t actually listen because all girls will place their boyfriends above their friends in the end, which used to really bother me, but eventually I had to just accept it or be friendless.

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  46. Boyfriend first. Boyfriend always comes first. Friends later.

    A friend of mine has been having problems with his girlfriend. She continuously shit tests him. Lies to him. Attempts to manipulate him. He calls her out on her shit, but it just never registers with her. He’ll break up with her, she’ll plead with him, then the cycle continues. Now, she is making up some bullshit story about how her ex-boyfriend who she just recently broke up with is her only friend in America (she moved to the U.S. from Bulgaria FIVE years ago, she has a host of other Bulgarian ex-pat friends there). She uses that as justification to spend time with him.

    I have pointed said male friend in the direction of ch, and advised him, “If she puts her friends first that is a terrible sign. I will never put my boyfriend before my friends. It is the ultimate sign of disrespect.”

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  47. “Boyfriend first. Boyfriend always comes first. Friends later.”

    Why being a girl sucks.

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  48. I don’t know. Being in a romantic relationship is pretty special. It’s like putting your spouse first. It’s just a given. That isn’t to say that I don’t love and get along with all my female friends, because I do. And they’re great. But if it ever came down to the wire…

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  49. Lol! Gents, remember to take these girl’s advice tongue in cheek.

    A woman will remain loyal to you until she won’t.

    Period.

    ALL relationships are time limited, and these women’s advice is mere hindsight justification of why they screwed their last man over.

    And the one before that…

    And the one before that…

    And so on…

    And so on…

    She will stay extremely loyal to you… until she’s not!

    This behaviour is centuries old, as are their tales of undying loyalty for the right man.

    Sean Connery was a smart man.

    Keep two in reserve.

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  50. Personally, I like women who are too catty and hot to have female friends.

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  51. Ah yes, the friend. I was a beta tool in college, couldn’t kiss a girls ass enough to make her feel special. That lasted up to this past year after I found the gospal. The wife’s friends would talk shit about me contantly teling her she could do better blah blah blah blah blah. Then as if channeling ch the following occured.

    I was out with the wife and her friend and the friend’s husband. Her friend decided that she was going to “discuss” a topic with me. It got pretty heated and her herb beta husband sat in the corner with his cock and balls tucked back. At one point she even told him to stay out of it. Since then the wife cannot do enough for me.

    The next time we were all out, her friend told the group that the discussion really “got her juices flowing” but that it upset her husband. She then belittled him for it and flirted with me with my wife sitting right there. I had none of that.

    Her and the wife went out the next Friday. I already had plans. When the wife got home she told me all about their night. Including “she said that she could never be married to you because you argue too much”. To that I thought “she may not want to be married to me but she sure does want to fuck me”.

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  52. Dude in your case the girls are right.

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  53. I’m drunk, so I’m going to tell a classic el chief story.

    It’s called “I give terrible facials”. This is a two-part story.

    So I’m about to fly back to Vancouver from T-dot after my sister’s wedding. Airplane has some mechanical problem so we switch planes. My seat was at the back of the old plane, but there is no such seat on the new plane. Busty blonde Dutch stewardess comes to the back, picks the guys with the biggest units to come sit in first class, and obviously I’m on that list.

    So I’m sittin’ up in first class, ordering triple G&Ts for my five hour flight home, and running game on blondy. I am totally hammered by Winnipeg. Nonetheless, I slip the busty blonde Dutch stewardess my number before I leave. She calls the next day.

    A week or so later, I torque a few out to some solid MILF porn. Later on that day, busty blonde Dutch stewardess calls me up and wants to come over and fuck. I just busted three nuts to some granny upskirt shit, but hey why not.

    So she comes over, she does some weird shit where she’s doing cowgirl but slapping her big tits on my face. Good times. Then she flips on her back and asks el chief for a milk delivery on her face. I oblige. Unfortunately, I got nothing but Coffee Mate. I let out a sweet Lexington Steele roar, but barely get a trickle on her chin.

    Part Two

    I meet this cute Chinese chick on the arpatubes. We go for drinks. I invite her home.

    Her: “I don’t sleep with guys on the first date. I am going out with my friends”
    El Chief: “No problem. Why don’t you call me after you hang out with your friends and we’ll have a second date”

    She calls me about 3 hours later, and comes over. We’re on the couch, she starts rubbing the balls. Alls of a sudden, my balls are in her mouth.

    Next thing you know, she’s bent over the couch, with a penis deep in her abdomen. Lexington Steele roar, I pull out, she kneels down in front of me, and I cover her face in a Lake Athibasca size load.

    Except… I missed her face, and shot all over her brand new $400 cashmere sweater that was sitting beside her.

    My name is el chief, and I give terrible facials.

    Like


  54. single GFs have a big problem. Once you take her friend out of the market, they lose company for going out at night.

    it may be the case that you need to go out with your GF and her friends in order to minimize this effect

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  55. there is a huge difference between nightclubs and bars. If you go with your GF to a bar with her friends, you will feel the full bitterness of single friends

    nightclubs, due to the noise, avoid that. so if you should go out with the harpies, take them to nightclubs. If they go to abar, arrive late, as elchief said dress sharp, be funny and positive, and run game on them, leave early and take your GF with you when you leave

    but allow her to arrive without you

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  56. And why are you hanging around with the bitch’s friends?

    She will not meet your friends, and you shall not meet hers.

    She will not meet your parents/relatives, and you shall not meet hers.

    No co-habitation, no marriage, and DTB before 2 years are up.

    Zero tolerance policy for shit tests.

    Women are toilets, so treat them like toilets.

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  57. “Women are toilets, so treat them like toilets.”

    Everyone co-habits with at least one toilet. I hope.

    Like


  58. why hang around her friends?

    – I like the company of women

    – the company of women serves as social proof not only for your GF but for any other eventual future GF

    – you can always invite your cooler friends and be a matchmaker,so it also serves as social proof for men

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  59. Spunk said: “Women are toilets, so treat them like toilets.”
    finefantastico replied: Everyone co-habits with at least one toilet. I hope.

    Perhaps, like in times gone by, we just need to keep them outside.

    PS:
    finefantastico, when did you add the “o”. Did you marry an Italian? Or just read the book that this blog is based on (“Story of O”).

    Like


  60. i added the ‘o’ just minutes ago.
    for the hell of it.

    Like


  61. @finefantastisch

    OK

    Like


  62. spunk

    Zero tolerance policy for shit tests.

    That’s retarded. With that policy, if really acted upon as opposed to just being blowhard announced, you will fail them. It’s only after you’ve passed that you can maybe get away with blowing hard like that. But you do sound too retarded to figure and of this out.

    Women are toilets, so treat them like toilets.

    This sort of idiotic, first stages of puberty, adolescent misogyny can only serve to make a truly stupid and clueless boy feel better about his standing with women.

    Meanwhile it gives drive by feminists things to point to in their urge to be dismissive. Not that I care all that much about that, but you’re just being, yeah again, retarded.

    Go away someplace and shoot yourself. The desert somewhere, so you don’t get your useless blood over anything of value.

    Thank you.

    Like


  63. Speaking of shit tests. Women HAVE to do them it’s a our way of figuring out if you’re The Dude. We even feel great in the beginning when you do our bidding or respond as we want you to- proof we’ve got what it takes. We then brag to our friends about what you are willing to ‘do’ for us. Jealousy raises its head in some female friends but honestly I don’t think it’s given much weight because we’re too into the guy. Eventually passing (female version of passing) our shit tests translates to us as what you’ll ‘take’ for us and it’s not nearly as attractive. You become our bitches. When we realize we now have you by the short hairs we just want to pull them painfully. We complain to our gf’s and now their comments are taken seriously because we’ve already turned the corner in our own minds.

    Summing it up – the shit test is deadly. Don’t over think your response but when you’re tempted to reply exactly as you think she wants you to – beware. Just sayin…

    [editor: bingo.]

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  64. “Idle vaginas are the devil’s playthings.”

    an unspecified hideous cunt-rag cracks my door, cranes her neck, and plies her tittytabulous friend from my lair right at the critical end-of-night escalation point

    i’ll titty fuck this chick later, and her friend will have a dead cat soon.

    Like


  65. aoefe

    Will you PLEASE stop making me feel so f*cking attracted to you?

    Bitch.

    Like


  66. Doug

    Well unfortunately calling me bitch totally turns me on. Try again. 😉

    Like


  67. never trust a sly smile on your girlfriend’s friend’s face
    that’s so true.
    that’s why spencer of ‘the hills’ keeps pushing away heid’s friends like lauren

    nice strategie to keep your girl yours

    Like


  68. Here is a suggestion that I don’t think anyone has posted yet, (I haven’t read everything on this blog, so correct me if I’m wrong).

    Following the logic:
    If girlfriend has lots of “happy female friends”
    Then you are being used as a gossipy scratching post.

    With that logic, it might be ideal to seek out a girlfriend who surrounds herself with more male friends than female. A woman who would rather surround herself with male comrades may be less interested in the “gossipy” and “drama loving” social aspect of prototypical female interaction.

    Like


  69. Bhetti my experience with women who have more men friends than women friends is they are pretty masculine in nature. Either that or they are so bitchy/catty/man hungry they can’t keep a woman friend if she tried and they sleep their way through their men friends.

    Like


  70. Women HAVE to do them it’s a our way of figuring out if you’re The Dude.

    I will purposely fail every shit test to drive women crazy…

    “Two high speed rail lines and no shit tests by 2015…”

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  71. aoefe: That wasn’t me. I don’t have a positive experience on more male friends either. What one needs to establish is a ‘no discussing and definitely NO bitching about our relationship with girlfriends’ policy from early on. Some brainwashing of this as abuse or controlling maybe. But she should have enough judgement to discern whether to get out or make it work without external input. I think this exchange of trust and so on is critical. To some extent, it is natural to talk to other women but a different frame is directly or indirectly how to better please a man.

    Like


  72. “Bhetti my experience with women who have more men friends than women friends is they are pretty masculine in nature. Either that or they are so bitchy/catty/man hungry they can’t keep a woman friend if she tried and they sleep their way through their men friends.”

    Agreed. The girls I know who hang with the boys are either butch, or do so because they themselves cause too much drama to have lasting relationships with other women.

    I have only female friends, and it’s because I am so low-drama. I never fight with my girl friends and I don’t like the sexual tension that comes along with straight male friends.

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  73. on August 29, 2009 at 1:06 pm Betti is not Bhetti

    Aoefe and Bonnie

    I think Betti is different from regular poster Bhetti.

    Betti or Bhetti can comfirm/deny.

    Like


  74. aoefe Bhetti my experience with women who have more men friends than women friends is they are pretty masculine in nature. Either that or they are so bitchy/catty/man hungry they can’t keep a woman friend if she tried and they sleep their way through their men friends.

    Same thing here aoefe. Those types love to brag about not having female friends too,burns me up.

    Like


  75. I likewise find women with exclusively male friends unbearable, and in fact, overbearing about rubbing this in your face. They are usually exceptionally out of touch, who don’t know how to interact on a personable, laid-back level. They are the worst drama-queen, high-maintenance bitches, and not very feminine at all, for that matter. I love my female friends: we get along, we share things with each other in healthy ways. You simply need a female outlet as woman to let all those emotions and hyper-analytic neuroses out. Really.

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  76. Oooops sorry Bhetti – my bad for not reading my betti’s right.

    Personally I think there are quite a few female posters here who’d get along very well with each other in the real world. Girl’s girls and with a few of us girly girls thrown in to it. We’ll always save our hearts for the boyz though. 🙂

    Like


  77. No, Betti is not Bhetti. I’ll use a different name to avoid confusion since Bhetti was the original.

    But yes, I mostly agree on this point. In social circles women can be sharks.

    In high school and early college the danger rate is especially high amongst the gf’s female friends.

    I’ve noticed that this danger tends to decline a little (but not completely) amongst females after college, but perhaps that’s because they have gradschool/jobs/marriage/kids to keep them out of drama.

    Also, does it seem like these same social circles of female sharks who treat the bf like a scratching post also prey upon the prettiest/alpha female of the group? I know this doesn’t happen all the time, but it does seem frequent. Just curious about your opinions.

    Like


  78. I have very few female friends, and I am a bit masculine by today’s standards. The female friends I have are of a similar persuasion. One in particular, a friend since high school, is into extreme sports.

    The male friends thing happened because well, like my true female friends, they don’t play the silly status games, and we’re truly interested in each others’ wellbeing. Honor in either gender is rare, but it’s easier to find an honorable man than an honorable woman because women aren’t generally socialized that way.

    In order to be honorable, a woman has to be swimming against the stream. We don’t get many rewards for doing the right thing or not being full of crap. Men generally don’t either, but they seem to be more butched for that than women.

    There’s also the problem of women being too slutty these days. I don’t want to hang around women who are desperate, overly entitled, and have no grasp of reality. I get into too many arguments with them, and end up saying something too real, and classed as mean…like the time I told one of them that she was wrong for disrespecting her man, especially in front of other people, and that she didn’t deserve to have him around if she was going to treat him like crap.

    …and truthfully I can’t even stand being around men who hang out with those kinds of women. So the gender isn’t the relevent thing for me really. It’s the type of people. The type of people I like to spend time with and confide in usually happen to be male.

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  79. Ghost of Nicole: “In order to be honorable, a woman has to be swimming against the stream. We don’t get many rewards for doing the right thing or not being full of crap.”

    Truth

    Like


  80. A cartoon devoted to the wisdom of this post at http://unemployeddad.com/?p=892

    Like


  81. sup fanclub, just want to say hi, you all look so stylish

    explorer

    Like


  82. Im in the same situation. I love my gf like crazy and she loves me. But she has a close friend who has never been in a relationship and liked me before I met my current gf. I swear its like they are married. My gf’s friend is a jealous controlling bitch. She is poisoning my gf’s mind and i’m scared my gf will heed her advice. Any suggestions?

    Like


  83. im a women who has a freind who is engaged anouther with a kid and one who is getting devorsed. i like alpha men i like my guys slightly possives and very doment with a romantic side. lite me tell you if you dont wont to be the topic of a bitch seshen witch bty is the way you guys get out of the “why dont you tack me any were nice ‘ jessys bf got her a ring why havent you got me one..” so on lecters then give your dam gf a ross once in a wile tack her out to nice exspanive dinner once every blue moon threghen anyone who macks her cry and play the tufe guy never a bigger tern on for a chick you most probley will get sume from your girl, bty no girl wonts a wimp if thay wonted a pussy thay date anuther girl.

    Like


  84. First of all, can i just congratulate the author on a great article. It’s only too true!

    I’ve been going through this a lot lately. My girlfriends bff from uni is always saying how much she misses their single nights out together. Obviously as soon as I detected her resentment towards our relationship I started thinking of how to deal with this two-bit ho.

    I decided to fight fire with fire. And seeing as I spend a lot more time with my girlfriend, I’ve been able to subtly put ideas into her head about what a shit friend this skank is. And recently it’s all paid off 🙂 The schlaag has let my girlfriend down on a number of occasions and my girlfriends contempt for her is growing!

    Unfortunately my girlfriend is still due to move in with the slut very soon, so although the battle was won the war has probably just begun.

    Any advice on further ways of getting this bitch outta the picture wud be appreciated?

    Like