Gay Bars are Great Pick Up Joints

…for straight men.  It’s not usually what guys think of when they’re choosing happy hunting grounds, but the gay bar has many advantages going for it that the typical hetero bar does not.  The key is to limit your forays to the dainty side to informally gay bars.  These are the establishments that don’t attempt to skirt anti-discrimination laws with “no high heels” door policies intended to keep women out.  Gay guys go to these bars in numbers exceeding random distribution, but the overall vibe is ambiguous.  Along with the gays, you will find many women and a few straight men, as well as question marks.  If you are a young, reasonably good-looking straight man you will not feel uncomfortable walking into this kind of place.

Formally gay bars, while not designated as such in the strict legal sense, are widely known to be hangouts specifically catering to gay men.  Straight men and lesbians never step foot in these places.  Straight women will occasionally patronize the hardcore gay bar, but the practice is frowned upon by the regulars.  If you are a young, reasonably good-looking straight man and you walk into one of these bars you will feel like a rape victim waiting to happen.  All eyes will be on your crotch.  You will feel urges to slouch and conceal your pecs with crossed arms and to avoid eye contact with anyone.

Most straight men live in deathly fear of their masculinity being questioned and so will never think to seek out a pick up location that features more than a tiny coterie of token gays.  But these are exactly the venues that afford the best opportunities for picking up women.  Let’s examine the evidence:

  • Straight women number almost as many as would be found in a straight bar, especially at the beginning of the night when they are getting warmed up.
  • Considerably fewer straight men (the competition) than would be found in a straight bar.
  • The flirtations of the gay men are kept in check by the ambiguous ambience; they can never be sure who is gay and who isn’t.
  • Gays bring enthusiastic fun fun fun wherever they go.  Their infectious fun germ lifts the spirits of all the women, making your job of amping up their emotional state a lot easier.  It’s a piece of cake to open a woman who is all smiles and giggles rather than one with a dour look and her back turned to the entire room.
  • You can fly under the radar.  She’ll assume you are gay on your approach.  Defensive shields down, thermal exhaust port in sight.
  • Gay guys provide lots of situational opener material with their antics and overwrought drama.  Example: I think that guy just flashed his boob at me.  I feel like a piece of meat.  I can tell you’re really enjoying having the tables turned on us guys.
  • All the gayness will magnify in comparison the dangerous sexiness of your straight male presence.  The harmless and safe fun of the gays will make her vulnerable to your predatory aura.
  • The gay guys will social proof you, in a way.  While it’s not as good as being seen with an attractive woman, a gay man telling everyone in earshot what a juicy hunk of beefcake you are is bound to elicit some feelings of intrigue in the girls you’d like to impress.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that the male-female ratio in your venue of choice will determine your success at hooking up more than any other factor besides the skill level of your game.  How many times have you noticed in bars where the men heavily outnumbered the women the 5s and 6s behaving with the haughtiness of 9s and 10s?  Artificially inflated demand is never a good quality in women.  But gay guys throw all that out of whack.  When half the men aren’t remotely sexually interested in the women their market price takes a nosedive.  If you are really good, you can enlist a gay guy who has a crush on you to wing for you.  Just keep him guessing that one day you might convert. 





Comments


  1. “Artificially inflated demand is never a good quality in women. ”

    For this reason mediocre goth girls are a surprisingly difficult score: they’ve spent a good portion of their puberty years as the ‘only girl’ amongst a group of pimpled male dorks, and so have an inflated sense of self esteem due to the attention received. On the other hand, hot Eastern European girls are easy because they’ve spent their lives amidst other hot girls, and didn’t receive as much attention as their objective hotness would warrant.

    Like


  2. The great thing about gay bars is the attention you’d receive all right, and it being a gay bar, the attention would be in your face, and thus ‘in her face.’ It’s been proven that women rate a man as more attractive if they see another woman is interested in him, and they might feel the same if they saw a gay guy flirting with him (albeit probably not to the same extent, as women recognize that guys are different and only want sex)

    Like


  3. “Gays bring enthusiastic fun fun fun wherever they go”
    “The harmless and safe fun of the gays will make her vulnerable to your predatory aura”

    this made me crack up.

    Although it just seems morally wrong to go to a bar bar for the specific purpose of bedding a straight woman, you are correct in your observations.

    Like


  4. Though unrelated to today’s post, I wanted to give you a little “Don’t Be That Guy” shout out:

    (P.S. You might need some waterwings to go with your t-shirt.)

    Like


  5. P.P.S. Oh NO! Please don’t tell me your link to isteve.com means that you empathize with these guys!

    http://www.minutemanhq.com/hq/

    Or THIS guy!

    http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/lou.dobbs.tonight/

    Ahhhh, and I was so ready to like you!

    Like


  6. Looks like you’re stealing ideas from Guatemalans…

    http://elguapodc.blogspot.com/2007/06/new-technique.html

    Like


  7. Gay bars are fun, and I go there to have a good time and snort some free blow. I’ve been hit on by straight guys at gay bars, which was awesome because I was getting sick of all the hot men only wanting other hot men.

    Like


  8. Irina, I’m surprised that while trolling the gay bars you didn’t manage to snag Mr. Brin. I’m pretty sure he married a dude, and now Sergey’s partner will have all the billions to spend on quality blow.

    Like


  9. what does trolling mean?

    Like


  10. nikita – ha. that is hilarious. good thing he didn’t do a triple lindy into the pavement.

    “Ahhhh, and I was so ready to like you!”

    being ready ain’t got nothing to do with it.

    interesting – perhaps the guatemalans are stealing from me? perhaps i AM the guatemalan? si, the gay wingman is gold.

    Like


  11. Trolling has many meanings, i.e., fishing or browsing but it is often used in a pejorative sense meaning posting incendiary comments on fora with the sole intent of causing strife.

    Like


  12. You know I’d never bring Love into this.

    Like


  13. “Defensive shields down, thermal exhaust port in sight.”

    What’s with the Star Wars reference?

    Like


  14. O’RLY?

    In keeping with the theme of the post:

    “You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Let’s see how well you handle it. “

    Like


  15. it’s a trap!

    Like


  16. Good stuff. One important thing to remember when trolling in the gay bars is to make sure that you are prepared to give your straight ladies a REASON why you are there. Tell them something like you were supposed to meet a group of diverse friends here for a gathering (they will like that you are straight and used to word ‘diverse’), and you just missed them or they’re not there yet. Whatever you spout, you ultimately decided to stay because the place had a great vibe full of fun people. Whatever you say, be prepared to give a reason. Otherwise, it will be a dead giveaway that you are there to pick up straight girls.

    Like


  17. Yeah Sure…might get AIDs from these women…they maybe BIs…meaning screwing gay men…I would not want to take a chance …

    Like