“Get off me”

To the guys:  How many times have you said this to a girl you had just met and were trying to pick up?  For most of you, probably never.  And yet pushing a girl away like this is one of the most powerful moves in the player’s arsenal.  It’s like male T&A.  As soon as you do it, the girl’s eyes will instantly light up with attraction.  Oh, sure, she’ll put on a big indignant drama-fest, but her eyes won’t lie.

Pickup artists call this tactic “push-pull”.  Naturals call it “being an asshole”.  Most men don’t fully comprehend the potency of this maneuver because it seems so counter-intuitive.  Why would physically and/or verbally turning a girl away from you make her more attracted?  Isn’t the point to bring her toward you?  The way you bring a girl toward you is by flipping the script of pursuer and pursued.

The simplest attraction switches are sometimes the hardest to trigger.  When a girl is showing a guy real interest by touching his chest or leg, hanging on his every word, and inching closer into his personal space, his instinct is to lap it up like a thirsty dog.  If she teases him with sex talk he responds with eager excitement.  Then when she has lost interest he wonders why it all went south.  For the average horny guy, it takes supreme willpower to spurn an attractive girl’s sex signals.  And yet doing this will make her hotter quicker for him than anything else he could do.

The secret is that the girl *wants* the guy to push away her advances.  Getting temporarily rejected turns her on.  She’ll never admit this or understand it in any way because the rhythms of her female desire are a mystery even to herself.  For those who want to know why the pushoff works on girls, psychologists would explain it in terms of the scarcity mentality; sociobiologists would say that a desirable man who can afford to reject individual mating opportunities at his leisure is attractive to women because his actions indirectly demonstrate that he is pre-selected by other women.

The player can mimic the sexually sated, emotionally detached alpha male with calculated pushoffs.  When he is reading her palm, for instance, he could say “OK, that’s enough” and push her hand away.  When she rests a hand on his chest after a joke, he could tell her “hey, this stuff ain’t free” and casually remove her hand from his chest.  If she sits in his lap, he says “all right, get off me” and literally pushes her off.  The trick to making this work without seeming like a mean prick is to push her off after you’ve pulled her in.  Just pushing an indifferent girl away you haven’t yet drawn in with your game won’t cause her to run into your arms.

While push-pull is more overt during the attraction phase of the pickup, it continues on a subtle note right into the later stages of the seduction.  As you progress to the point of making out, always be the first to break off the kissing.  Same for groping; break it off first.  Re-initiate after a few minutes of non-sexual chatting.  This “two steps forward, one step back” process is a potent technique for making a girl feel as horny as you do.





Comments


  1. on September 4, 2007 at 2:35 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    I like this idea, and it’s well written. The problem is implementing it in the real world. I did something like the above inadvertantly once when I was about 20. Afterwards, I learned the girl told people she thought I was gay because I didn’t accept her (drunken) touching. She was getting on my nerves at a party, and I really did want her to stop bothering me. This is how she dealt with it.

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  2. This is right on. Do this and you make them feel like they’re chasing after you. That way, when they do get with you, they’ll feel like they caught something worth catching.

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  3. Yeah … with the examples you gave, I’ve found the safest way to do it is make it a clear rejection – firm grip/deflection, lock eyes, hold it for a long moment so she knows you’re serious, and then let her reset as she chooses (almost inevitably positive). That internal knowledge of when you can “get away” with this is key, though, and there’s only two ways to figure that out – natural talent or experience. It’s a numbers game, kids.

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  4. You gotta be careful with the rejection technique. If you play too harshly you’ll alienate the good girl and might reel yourself in a psycho-chick stalker.

    I think the idea is to do this with some amount of teasing or playfullness.

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  5. PA – re: teasing/playful. I was thinking that while writing my comment, and neglected to mention it outright. Good catch.

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  6. Yeah, when I am thinking about someone doing the hard diss (while still ultimately pursuing in the girl), I picture this method filtering out all women except the pissed-off Glenn Close type hissing “I will not be ignored” long after you thought that all that remains between you is a sweet, fleeting memory.

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  7. Sometimes I just punch them in the face, then I laugh so they know I was just teasing…. wait what?

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  8. vk – that comment almost made me choke on my General Tso’s. Well done, sir.

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  9. I see you just turn our coy games around on us. Brilliant. Except we just do it because we mean it, but you are actively in control.

    It works- very well! (But not when we’re not that interested, like you said.)

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  10. To Broken Arrows: I’ve heard of it before. I’ve had to explain to girls that, “Honey, just because he doesn’t want you on his lap doesn’t mean he’s gay” thing several times. Unfortunately, dumb girls don’t get that. If they want a guy and can’t get him, they assume that it’s the guy’s issue and not theirs.

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  11. I find that punctuating a push-pull with a cup check is a very effective strategy.

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  12. bb/pa – yeah, i meant to bring this up. after experimenting with the false rejection, i’ve found that a serious face followed by a little smirk is the way to go. laughing it off or apologetically saying “just kidding” is being afraid of her reaction. you never want to subcommunicate that. barge through as if you don’t care if she takes it personally.

    vk – hah. that’s the “punch away”. works great on strippers and whores.

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  13. this is the method i use to get guys to date me. i works really well.

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  14. pull-push would be a more appropriate name since you should fist attract her THEN reject her

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  15. I dunno. I had a girl I just met glom onto me after I opened her set boldly. I was genuinely uncomfortable with it and pushed her away. She ignored be for the entire rest of the set and was sulking and unhappy.

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