The Player Vibe

Reader Walawala asks:

[H]ow do you deal with chicks that suddenly start viewing [my newfound] self-confidence as being a player. “I’ll bet you have tons of girl friends…” etc..

Yes, these are shit tests, I get that, and can deal. But my problem lately has been chicks that get so attached after I bang them, they break up because they fear “it won’t go anywhere and you have lots of girlfriends”…even though quite honestly I don’t. I’m just confident.

This is a common complaint from men who are starting to see results with game. The answer is to focus on the basics. Forget tricky routines or clever quips or nuclear negs. You would be missing the forest for the trees. The specific reply to this type of shit test isn’t important; what matters is the big picture. As long as you recognize the forces at work in the woman’s mind, the answer you give will be good, regardless of the exact wording you use.

So what do you need to know? Really, just one thing. You need to refrain from playing into the woman’s frame. When a chick says “I’ll bet you’re a player” or some similar variation thereof, she expects you to feel shame, and then to backpedal, apologize, act humbled, or otherwise be a magnificent beta seeking her approval. Are you a beta? Because this is what goes through every beta’s mind, (AKA the twitchy guinea pig, if you will, because women are always using them as test subjects), and in this order:

This chick is hot.
She just said she bets I have a ton of girlfriends.
That’s good, right?
Again, this chick is hot.
I better not say anything to piss her off or ruin this magic moment we’re sharing.
Since chicks don’t like womanizers, I will deny being one.
I hope she is impressed by my answer.
Sex, maybe?

And just like that, you are dancing to her tune. No sex for you!

Now put yourself into the shoes of an alpha. This is what goes through his mind when a girl asks him the same:

This chick is hot.
Is she giving me shit already?
Typical hot bitch.
I’m gonna fuck with her.
Too easy.

Once you have identified the trap and have committed to sidestepping it, the right reply will come to you naturally.

“Yes, my harem is huge. Each girl has a specific job to do. How’d you like to be my grape-feeder?”

The above reply is an example of agree and amplify. It isn’t the only way to answer shit tests, but it is a proven successful technique. There are other, equally good tactics, for dealing with Venus Vajtraps. The specific tactic you use will depend on your personality and the comfort you feel using it. The point is that as long as you recognize framing and have the confidence to avoid approval-seeking behavior, executing a precise alpha counterattack won’t be something you have to struggle to find the right words to convey. A solidly grounded “I am the prize” mentality and a sharp awareness of female filtering mechanisms will make the job of finding the right thing to say much easier.

In Walawala’s specific case, girls he has been banging for a while are preemptively bolting because they tell themselves he is a player who won’t commit. Again, the worst thing Walawala could do would be to try to allay their fears. That’s throwing chum in the water as hungry sharks circle.

His problem isn’t that girls think he is a player. That’s just their hamster squeaking. I have never known a girl to break up with a man because she convinced herself he must be good with women. She may bitch and moan (usually facetiously), but she won’t actually walk away from such a man. Particularly if she is hot.

There are exceptions. Less attractive girls sometimes find the will to walk away from high value men because they subconsciously calculate that his slew of options with hotter girls mean there is no future with him. So perhaps Walawala is slumming it.

Another reason why girls may leave when things are going well is if the man is telling girls about his multiple girlfriends after a few months together, when such surprising news could precipitate a breakup. Walawala says that isn’t the case with him.

Barring those exceptions, his LTR issue with girls isn’t the player vibe, but, more likely, not enough vulnerability game. If he wants these spooked girls to stick around, then he’ll have to soften the aloof edges of his alpha game. This isn’t to say he should jettison the supreme confidence that got him the bangs; it is only to suggest that he needs to show more signs — however shallow — of commitment. Men who sleep around often forget that women possess a duality of heart. They lust for those romantic gestures of fealty almost as much as the alpha strut of independence. It can come as a shock to stone cold players when girlfriends suddenly scoot after the three month mark because they came to the sensible conclusion — from their genes’ point of view — that the alpha stud they luv would make a better short term sperm contributor than a long term backrub servant.

One other point: It has been my observation that sometimes, when women cry “player!”, what they are really saying is “beta!”. If there are unsatisfying aspects of your personality or attitude that she doesn’t like, she will be prone to using the more socially acceptable excuse of “player unwilling to commit” to rationalize her loss of feeling for you and subsequent dumping. Many women are loathe to admit, whether to others or to themselves, that they are leaving a man because he became too chumpy, beta, easy-to-please, predictable, unchallenging, weak, unambitious, sexually tepid, or even overly committed. They’d rather sugarcoat the real reasons so they can sleep at night, assured that their peers won’t kick them out into the icy wastelands for being a grade A bitch.

Do not underestimate just how incapable women are of directly acknowledging the ancient forces that drive their ids. Here, as in so many other matters related to sociosexuality and psychological motivation, men and women diverge markedly.


  1. best comment from the last post was

    “men start to mature at puberty, women stop”


  2. Very applicable here too methinks


  3. The answer to this (and anything else you’re unsure of) is Agree & Amplify, as you explained in more words.


  4. good post. This is a much more refined attitude towards game.

    Game truly is a science AND an art.


  5. Roissy is back for a guest appearance. Good post. You’ve still got the touch.


  6. Agree and Amplify is the answer almost all the time. It’s in the tone and delivery.

    AA. Double-A.

    For Walawala: he may have another dynamic going.

    These Chinese girls are probably with him as an experiment, not as a serious BF. They’re just playing around from the get-go.

    As fast as you can say Yap i Sam, they recalculate when they start to like him and they’re gone. Or the time just runs out.

    He’s a foreigner in HK, a place where finding the right Beta is paramount (while letting every Hot Enough guy pound you in complete secrecy while you tell yourself you’re not slutty is also on the menu).

    Chateau is right to say you need good vulnerability game. Any guy who isn’t a genuine alpha jerk can project the right amount of sensitivity, in vulnerability game, to allay fears in women. They just need to call it up. We all have it.

    Chateau missed one thing. They may want the romantic gestures, but you need to keep it counter-balanced with enough alpha jerkiness to make the wheels spin in the woman’s mind. The best recipe is to keep it staggered, and unpredictable, not giving her what she needs. In Samurai Japan, the ruling class kept the peasants in line through oppression designed to control them. Their population never went up or down for several hundred years. The operating philosophy: Don’t let them live, don’t let them die. Take away all surpluses.

    Don’t let her get comfortable,but don’t edge her off the cliff.
    She’s got a dual attraction mechanism : She wants Beta Provider, but is attracted to Alpha. She needs both.

    Do key to them both, unpredictably. Drives them nuts.

    Despite what they say, it’s what they want. Keep them off balance.

    It’s key.


  7. You want girls to know that you have game.

    If they think you are a player, but playing it cool with them, a circuit will click in their head, and they’ll wonder “why is he not trying to fuck ME?”


    Remember, it doesn’t matter what they say, but what they do.

    I had a perfect (work)week once, ie I fucked a different new girl five days in a row.

    I subtly let this slip to my female roommates female friend (who had a BF). She was appalled! Appalled!

    A couple nights later, we’re on the couch and she’s rubbing my dick with her foot.


  8. Ur explanation of women crying player when the guy is actually chumpy, seemed off base at first. However, I can remember a similar situation w my first girlfriend that ur statement resonates with. I was superbeta…no doubt. Only reason I got the girl/held on for a few months in the first place is I broke up w a hot girl to date her, bartender at big nightclub, and good looking. This girl couldn’t possibly have had my balls more securely on a chain around her neck. I remember in one of her many frustrated bitching sessions she highlighted how she couldn’t stand that I worked at a nightclub/was in contact w beautiful women and assumed that if I wasn’t already cheating, there was the inate possibility I could. Me


  9. The occassional romantic gesture is often required.

    Might I recommend the gift of skittles?


  10. Cont… Me knowing I would never do that (read: pussywhipped) wondered how she could even think that. I responded by offering to quit my job (I almost puked just typing that). I wondered why the relationship fell apart shortly thereafter….until I found game. Again, she cried player but what she meant to cry was “no backbone”. I’ve since completed GFTOG nearly 3 times and live the life I was always meant too. Anyway, just a personal anecdote to confirm ur assertion


  11. on December 10, 2010 at 2:26 pm The Man Who Was . . .

    One other point: It has been my observation that sometimes, when women cry “player!”, what they are really saying is “beta!”. If there are unsatisfying aspects of your personality or attitude that she doesn’t like, she will be prone to using the more socially acceptable excuse of “player unwilling to commit” to rationalize her loss of feeling for you and subsequent dumping.

    This is one of the reasons why men don’t understand women. They have certain all purpose phrases which can mean any number of things. This makes it incredibly hard for the average guy for whom this is not intuitive to figure things out on his own. You can flounder around for decades and still not figure it out


    “I don’t think the chemistry is there” can mean two things:

    1. You’re not attractive enough.
    2. You’re attractive enough, but I don’t see us as a long term (for a host of reasons).

    This is usually the former, but when she had been giving you the doggy dinnerbowl look all through your last date etc., attraction probably isn’t the issue.

    “You’re not paying enough attention to me” can mean:

    1. You’re acting too beta.
    2. She’s still attracted to you, but you’re being too aloof, too much of an asshole, and her non-tingle needs aren’t being met.

    Again, usually the former, but for a not insignificant number of times it is the latter.

    Most pickup advice is tailored for guys who have trouble with attraction, both getting and keeping it going, so it tends to overemphasize the most common problem guys have, which is usually being a wimpy beta. But there are a large minority of guys who have no problem with attraction and would see a vast improvement in their LTRs and marriages if they were a little nicer and more sensitive from time to time.


  12. Actually I think the reader you are responding to needs to realize that when you are a player, girls get off on a fling and fucking an alpha. With the player vibe by definition are not the beta provider they want in a boyfriend. This the reaction girls will have without vulnerable game. Hot passionate meaningless sex. They love it too. No need to overcomplicate why girls aren’t sticking around.


  13. i dont have this problem, per se, as women love me even though i’m poor and fugly


  14. “But there are a large minority of guys who have no problem with attraction and would see a vast improvement in their LTRs and marriages if they were a little nicer and more sensitive from time to time.”



  15. “Everything in woman is a riddle, and everything in woman has one solution – it is called pregnancy.

    Man is for woman a means: the purpose is always the child. But what is woman for man?

    Two different things wants the true man: danger and diversion. Therefore he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.

    Man shall be trained for war, and woman for the recreation of the warrior: all else is folly.

    Too sweet fruits – these the warrior likes not. Therefore he likes woman; – bitter is even the sweetest woman.

    The happiness of man is, “I will.” The happiness of woman is, “He will.”

    “Lo! now has the world become perfect!” – this thinks every woman when she obeys with all her love.

    Obey, must the woman, and find a depth for her surface. Surface is a woman’s soul, a mobile, stormy film on shallow water.

    Man’s soul, however, is deep, its current gushes in subterranean caverns: woman surmises its force, but comprehends it not.

    “You go to woman? Do not forget your whip!” –

    Thus spake Zarathustra.”



  16. I don’t know. I don’t ever really get that one from chicks at all. I think they just assume that I’m already seeing someone else. Most chicks don’t care as they have no compunction about stealing someone else’s guy. They just need to know that you’re available and attainable (but still hard to get).

    If I haven’t banged her yet, I’ll usually say either something like “Well yeah, I’ve got women that are interested in me. What makes you think I wouldn’t?” or “Yeah, I got all the bitches.” Which one I use depends on the personality of the chick I’m talking to.

    If I’m already banging her, then the question really means that she’s wanting commitment. In this case, I usually respond with something like, “Look, I’m not looking for commitment right now because of A, B, and C, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care a lot about you or really enjoy the time we spend together.” If she keeps at it I’ll usually say something like, “Hey, you’re totally over-thinking things. We have something really good here. Don’t let your insecurities get in the way.” At this point, however, it’s only a matter of time before she lays down an ultimatum, so have a replacement lined up.


  17. on December 10, 2010 at 2:55 pm The Man Who Was . . .

    RE: Being nice

    The problem with traditional dating advice isn’t that it isn’t true, but that it assumes you already have the alpha male basics down. Traditional dating advice is basically the kind of shit that works for alphas, guys already in her romantic purview.


  18. Evil Alpha

    “But there are a large minority of guys who have no problem with attraction”

    A large minority – is that like an NFL lineman, or more like a small majority?


  19. the last part after “One other point” is exactly what I was thinking when I read what Walawala wrote.

    A girl will never leave because a man is “too alpha”, which is essentially what Walawala is saying is happening… more likely whats happening is that he is overestimating his confidence and alphacred and he’s just not doing it right. Worse than just a run of the mill beta is a beta trying too hard to be alpha and letting his true colors show through. Girls do not like to feel tricked by a beta and will run full speed away if they sense it.


  20. on December 10, 2010 at 3:25 pm Vincent Ignatius

    Agree 100%. This is the most common shit test I get. Agree and amplify always works. I just recently tried treating her like an annoying child after the test and that worked even better.


  21. @ Science.

    Not really breh. All except like 0.0001% of women are going to want commitment from you at some point or another. Then you can only keep them around so long. Either she’s going to leave, or you’re going to get tired of her causing drama about it and drop her. Fyi, by commitment I mean you agreeing to date her elusively.


  22. on December 10, 2010 at 3:44 pm The Man Who Was . . .

    A girl will never leave because a man is “too alpha”

    Good god, some of the guys here never understand the nuances. Game is filled with paradoxes and exceptions, which is why it is so hard for so many guys to get. So, yes, you can get left for being too alpha. For example, as Roissy said, if there is too much of a difference in mate value, she may pre-emptively leave to spare herself later pain.


  23. Walawala, you are getting terrible advice here.

    If you’re not having trouble getting the bang, feel free to disregard the claims — from the unobservant OP no less — that you must be being beta. Whether it’s A&A, ignore, or patronize, I’m sure you’re handling the “you’re a player” shit tests with aplomb.

    However, if you’re looking for a longer term relationship, you need to recognize that once you’ve heard “are you a player?”, you’ve led her a long way down One and Done Road. As you’ve found, motoring past her shit test will get you to the end of that road, but it can’t get you to Soul Capture Lane.

    IMO, you need to prevent this shit test from coming up in the first place. Do that by getting back to basics: after you’ve established attraction, tone down the cocky/funny and run some comfort. Snowflake her a bit. It doesn’t take much.

    [Editor: This is pretty much exactly what I wrote. Troll.]


  24. “Fyi, by commitment I mean you agreeing to date her elusively.”


    The typo is truer than the intended meaning.


  25. “…players, getting pumped and dumped! Can you believe it?”

    I’m ok with this! There’s billions of women!

    Never be afraid to lose a girl….best advice ever!!!

    If you carry yourself that losing her is no big deal, alpha confidence oozes!



    is a good starting point for those who can’t believe that a man might not be done hitting it as quickly as a gal


  27. Specimen

    Fyi, by commitment I mean you agreeing to date her elusively.

    Nice Freudian slip.


  28. WOW

    “…players, getting pumped and dumped! Can you believe it?”

    I’m ok with this! There’s billions of women!

    Never be afraid to lose a girl….best advice ever!!!

    If you carry yourself that losing her is no big deal, alpha confidence oozes!

    I can see the usefulness of false bravado, but it doesn’t sit well with the truth seeking side of hedonism that fuels insight.

    Some girls are better than others. Some are rare. Some rare girls have within them the power to make you 10 times happier, 100 times happier, than other girls.

    Losing rare and valuable things is painful, and they are inherently not easily replaced.

    But go with false bravado, if that works for you.


  29. xsplat, you’re not paying attention.

    You need that “False bravado” if you’re going to get that rare gem.

    Otherwise you’re beta-ing it and you’ll definitely lose her.


  30. ErikZ

    xsplat, you’re not paying attention.

    You need that “False bravado” if you’re going to get that rare gem.

    I disagree.

    Some people need it, apparently. I suggest it’s not the only option. You can accept a genuine fear of loss, and yet still act appropriately.

    I’ve always operated under the assumption that it’s always beset to unify your mind. It’s a Buddhist thing.


  31. xsplat, Ya sure, you may dig the chick, the sex is great, but she is replaceable, things aren’t hopeless like betas treat things.

    Always have a plan B; women in the process of dumping your ass always do.

    The fact you believe women can make you 10X or 100X happier is a sign of weakness and mental illness…..a lack of maturity.

    I have banged 180+ chicks without lessons from roissy, and I can tell you…no woman can make me happier than I make myself. Any happiness women offer me is fleeting and should be treated that way. I de-programmed your way of thinking in my late 30s.


  32. “Do not underestimate just how incapable women are of directly acknowledging the ancient forces that drive their ids. Here, as in so many other matters related to sociosexuality and psychological motivation, men and women diverge markedly.”



  33. She won’t give you any shit tests if you’re choking her with your cock.


  34. on December 10, 2010 at 6:27 pm The Man Who Is . . .

    The fact you believe women can make you 10X or 100X happier is a sign of weakness and mental illness…..a lack of maturity.

    Gotta agree with xplat for once. Some women are decidedly superior than others, some women are amazing, so much so that it is a genuine loss to lose them. Such women are not irreplaceable, of course, but they are rare. Anyway, total self-sufficiency is a myth.


  35. Some women are decidedly superior than others, some women are amazing, so much so that it is a genuine loss to lose them.
    Hence the pedestalization.


  36. Are you 85 yet? 😛


  37. Here is a related question I will submit to the committee.

    I’m coming off a 6 month pick up binge and am looking to take a break. This is consistent with my usual rotation 3-6 months of pick up followed by 3 months or so of dormant activity. When I go into pick up hibernation I usually keep around an LTR, the usual candidate is one of my immediate past pick ups. I have two good candidates for such a role one is a 6 the other a 7.5 to 8. But, the hang up I have is the 6 has some is very feminine. It’s like having a housewife from the 1950’s around and not a drop of feminism in her blood. She wears skirts and pearls, is classy, cooks, cleans, and does everything a guy would expect a woman to do. The 8 on the other hand is in a high pressure, man type career, but fucks like a banshee, but I doubt she knows how to turn on a stove.

    So, the question I have is would a true pick up artist sacrifice a point or two for a real feminine type of woman?


  38. on December 10, 2010 at 8:34 pm The Man Who Is . . .

    Hence the pedestalization.

    The perpetual inability of some of the aspergery kids in this comments section to appreciate any sort of nuance continues to astound me. Pedestalization means valuing a woman above her actual worth simply because she is a woman. It isn’t pedestalization to value a woman who is actually worthy of that value.


  39. on December 10, 2010 at 8:35 pm The Man Who Is . . .

    It should go without saying that most women are actually pretty mediocre.


  40. Only put a woman on a pedestal so you can look up her dress.


  41. It isn’t pedestalization to value a woman who is actually worthy of that value.

    No….that’s beta…and only leads to soul death.


  42. Every woman I have ever dated consistently (LTR) has sooner or later accused me of seeing someone else behind her back.
    This comes weither or not I have agreed to a commited relationship with her.
    This comes up regardless if she was hot, or a plain jane.
    This may be a “shit test”, but I believe this is just an expression of womans inate insecurity, and a ploy to get more commitment from you.
    Some place deep within they know their value is diminished if they do not have a man in their lives.
    My reply to them has been consistent.
    “You could be running around on me also”.
    This has always stopped her line of inquiry.

    I do kinda like that “agree and amplify” stratagy. Gonna use that next time the question comes up.


  43. great post as usual

    here is a more intricate scenario i’m on on occasion.

    I’ll ask a girl to come hang out, and they will say “why don’t you ask one of your other girls?” I understand that this is a shit test, but agree and amplify doesnt really seem to work for me. Anyone have some specific advice for me?

    BTW i was just diagnosed as a sociopath last week
    looks like my genes will live on


  44. Might as well just drop this here. Just in case you need to stiffen your resolve not to marry.


  45. @ the end.

    Keep the feminine woman around for LTR and teach her how to fuck like a banshee.

    Keep the 8 on the backburner for possible later friends with benefits if the 6 doesn’t pan out. If she is a true 8 and a career woman she probably has other fuck buddies already anyways.


  46. Plus if she truly is as feminine and as June Cleaver as you make her out to be ( cooks, cleans, does your laundry, blow jobs on demand) then that bumps her up a point to a 7.

    If the 8 has a feminist career cunty go grrll ! attitude that bumps her down to a 7, so in essence you are choosing between two 7s.


  47. This brings up a good point. Attitude can bump or bump down a woman maximum 1.5 points. So technically a 5, could become a 6.5 if she has the most amazing personality, feminine, interesting, accommodating, cooks, cleans, fucks like a champ and is an all around great gal.

    Likewise an 8 can become a 6.5 if she is a bitch, sarcastic, non accommodating, cannot cook, dresses like shit, is flaky and acts self entitled while she reads Andrea Dworkin in her off time.



    Note to betas who fancy themselves a shoulder for the ladies to cry on…

    Being “Captain save a ho” will actually get her killed….


  49. WOW, both your numbers and your comments do no impress me. As the numbers rise the value of the lowers, in my eyes.

    That you no longer fall in love, if you ever did, is pathetic.

    Intimacy is hedonistic. What you are describing sounds soul-less.


  50. The End, why don’t you date the both of them? I’m in a similar situation to you. The girl I’m more fond of isn’t the hottie. So I put the hottie onto a twice a week schedule. Boy is my body happy to see her when she arrives.


  51. An alpha gene characterized. In short, it helps you make informed selfish decisions, and to be aggressive when appropriate.


  52. I used to have a good explanation which I had refined over months of relentless street pickup after pickup. These days I can’t even remember what it was. One day I just realized that the girl had no right to make baseless accusations such as “you’re a player” (despite how true it was), and reframed so that I no longer accepted the premise.



  53. PS defining a “scale” is gay.



  54. Alpha or Beta:

    Professor David Epstein

    Just wonderin’.


  55. In my case, I stay far far away from guys who have player vibes. It isn’t a matter of confidence being present or not. It’s a matter of them reminding me too much of my own father. He constantly had new girlfriends throughout my teens. They all fell for him like pathetic puppies, thinking there was something special about them that would make him want to commit when to him it was a sport. Anybody who displays similar patterns of behavior that he did are giant red flags to me.

    Women need to be taught to stay away and exercise extreme caution. The players on this blog will get pissed at me for saying this, because it means reducing the “supply”. But encouraging the opposite reduces the supply of marriage and LTR worthy ones, and you can already guess which one I’m in favor of.


  56. Once I was asked by a guy ” So, you must have alot of guy friends..(looking straight at me).” I said, with a sweet, soft, smile..(looking straight at him)…IF YOU SAY SOOO”. hee! hee! worked like butter!!!! hehehe!!


  57. xsplat…you have a lot to learn kid.


  58. Women need to be taught to stay away and exercise extreme caution.

    And then next we can teach water not to be wet and rocks not to be hard.

    You can’t win against hard wiring, but by all means waste energy and time trying if it makes you happy.


  59. Vulnerability game is basically soft dominance. You are showing the girl the real you (which by now should be high value) so she has something real to connect with. Thus you are deflecting the shit tests with honesty. Done with self-belief this simply raises your value even higher.

    This is crucial to running an open harem with girls who are not sluts and without spending a penny on them.


  60. Do not underestimate just how incapable women are of directly acknowledging the ancient forces that drive their ids. Here, as in so many other matters related to sociosexuality and psychological motivation, men and women diverge markedly.

    Definitely. You can never truly make any woman aware of it, most men implicitly observe it in their own mothers from a young age. There is an electric fence between a woman’s intellectual faculties and her id/hindbrain. A man with game understands the workings of the latter to his advantage, but no man, least of all a suitor, can disarm that fence. Any (hot) woman who is aware of her inner workings is bad news in one way or another, even for alphas who tick all her right boxes.


  61. Anonymous,

    By your reasoning it is a waste of time to teach men how to be alpha since clearly this is not the biological norm. Or a waste of time to hope for civilizations to be built since they are relatively recent and but a speck on the human evolutionary timeline. Yet here we stand, in a virtual space that by its existence defies the biological realities of overall human irrationality on a blog that for all its preaching on biological truths, gives men advice on rising above their programming.

    Biology may have a large influence, but it certainly has forces that can be mastered and harnessed into various directions. All DNA does is determine the mean and variance in the distribution of behavioral outcomes. It does not determine the absolute outcome for each individual. Merely the likelihood of certain ones to arise.


  62. @ Girly Girl

    Thing is, women rarely every know themselves. Unless they have massive trauma or are unbelievably smart, they have no clue to what makes their pussies tick. You appear to have trauma.

    What’s on this blog is making guys touch the hard wiring that most have. Modern men have been beaten down by two centuries or more of heretical Christian teachings (Great Awakening, Temperance Movement, etc). Centuries of being brainwashed to believe civilization is built by the beta male.

    Women have it easy. All they really need to do in today’s world is open their legs and the state will give them the world. Women are, like they’ve always been, useless except for reproduction and secondary support.

    Alpha men were created to build, change and run the world. Today’s world, its downfall, and all that jazz, were the fault of your kind and that of the beta males that placate you.


  63. Girl Girl, get back to us when you settle into that long term relationship.


    he will be a player, just like your father was

    you will think that you are different than all the other girls

    you will become convinced that you are so special that you can stop his wandering eyes forever

    he will cheat on you, and eventually you will find out

    you will torture and kill what’s left of him with your lawyer and the Divorce 2.0 industrial complex

    end of story. can’t change your nature.


  64. The urban prophet 2pac on women:

    age 17: ‘i get a lot of friends because i have ultra respect for women, but then i was likin this girl and she told me i was too nice. i couldn’t believe it!’

    age 25: ‘bitches ain’t shit. we don’t love them hoes and it’s like dat.’


  65. Most true Alphas I know don’t have a problem with a “player vibe”. It is already known by most women they are banging that there is and always will be other women in their life. Sometimes they even meet each other. It is just viewed as part of the package and women have to deal with it or they have to walk away.

    Most player accusations are what women use on greater betas who might, through some divine intervention, have 2-3 prospects at the same time. It is a dominance move used by women to cage betas into exclusivity. And, for betas, it tends to work every time.

    Me, when I am in pick up mode, make it known to each lady friend I am doing that there are others. Because women are fucked up irrational actors this makes them even more into me. It gets to the point where I just have to say “Sarah gives better blow jobs than you” and she feels compelled by her internal programming to perform better than Sarah. I rarely get a complaint about mentioning other women.

    Also, ladies, learn how to fucking swallow. Any man who is higher than a lesser beta isn’t going to blow his load inside of you, even if you say you take that pill every day and I am wearing a condom. The nanny state has made the risk of doing so too high. One baby that pops out of that hole is going to cost me 1/3 of my pay for 18 years. That price is too high. It’s going on your face or mouth and thats just the way it will be. If you don’t like this have fun dating beta losers and thank feminism and socialism for your plight.


  66. on December 11, 2010 at 1:50 pm Malcolm Tucker

    I am curious about vulnerability game and pretty new to consciously gaming women, so I have a basic question.

    When should I use vulnerability game?

    Using Mystery’s M3 model for the sake of discussion, it must come into play after attraction and during comfort. I’m guessing a little while into the emotional/physical connection C2 stage after establishing that my frame is stronger than hers. Is that right? If not, when and why is it used at that time?

    Thanks for any replies.


  67. I try not to run vulnerability game until after the first bang. Occasionally I will drop a line here and there during the comfort stages (if you follow the Mystery Method), but I find it is warranted after a few good bang sessions. You have to soften the edges a bit or women interpret it as indifference or dislike. They will deal with some of that in the initial stages, but as they get more vested in a man they need at least a modicum (and nothing more) of outward demonstrations of like.

    I usually run two different types of vulnerability game. First, I have this old stuffed animal that I have had since I was a kid that lives on my bookshelf. When women come over I tell them that was my first stuffed animal or some crap like that. They always fall for it. The second it when I am out and walking by a flower shop I will pull her in there and buy her one rose. Then I will tell her to put it up in her hair. Man, that one does me good for a month if not more. These work because I never, never will compliment women otherwise. That makes rare vulnerability games even more of a huge impact.


  68. Girls love this site, because it writes about them.


  69. JohnnyDrama,

    God bless you, and may he bring you much happiness and love into your life.


  70. This has happened to me before. I usually say “Tons of girls; a harem, in fact. Did you want to be part of the harem?”

    Then I’ll turn full front on her, step closer and look her dead in the eyes and state: “Or did you want to be special… because you have the potential to be special.” Then I’ll look away.

    Never have I failed to swoon them at that point.

    ‘Snap’ goes the trap.


  71. Girls hate this site because it reveals their true nature allowing more and more men to resist their futile attempts at controlling and using them.


  72. Keep the vibe alive!

    Don’t give in to the female pressure to curtail your game. That road only ends badly…


  73. “Centuries of being brainwashed to believe civilization is built by the beta male.”

    If was – in partnership with the Alpha Female. The two share a common genetic interest (restricting Alpha Male seed to Alpha Females, allowing Betas to reproduce).

    It is the rise of the Beta Female, operating in conjunction with the Alpha Male, that is destroying it.

    Mature, intelligent Alphas come to recognize that civilization actually serves their interests more powerfully than the alternatives.

    Boomer Alphas never reached maturity.


  74. Can an alpha fall in love and maintain hand when the woman he falls in love with conforms in every way physically and emotionally to what he has desired his whole life ?

    In my social group I have a friend who has been the apex alpha since we all have known him. Tall, good looking, tight game, a natural in every way. He dated the hottest girl in high school and has continued that trend throughout his life. Let me put it to you this way, girls will walk up to him in bars and always say “wow you look like Mr. Big” which honestly he does.

    I had not seen him in some time and we hung out last night with the girl he has been dating for a year and from what I hear they are in love. She is in every way his exact *type*, not to mention she is 7 years younger than him and is the lead singer of a well known electro pop group. She is in every way *hot* (naturally beautiful face and body, think Italian or French actress from the 60s) and has high confidence due to the constant adoration of admirers.
    Basically he met his match.

    It’s amazing to me how much he has lost his *touch* since I last saw him, either that or I am much more attuned to male/female social dynamics. She was shit testing him all night, and although I wouldn’t say he was failing he was definitely not passing with flying colors. Very very unlike the character I have known my whole life (we grew up together).

    It was so clear to me that he has lost his hand in the relationship (ie he is invested) and although I can tell she is invested as well, every time he would capitulate to her tests, you could see her attraction and most importantly respect (they are concomitant) drop in her eyes.

    Truly amazing. I felt like everything I have been learning over the years via Roissy was happening in it’s most distilled form before my very eyes. She can tell that he is invested more than he probably ever has been (I could see it in her eyes, truly incredible !) and she kept on pushing the envelope all night. Honestly, it was the first time I have ever felt sorry for him. Men, (even alphas) if you do fall in love DO NOT lower your guard, ever. Women can smell it from a mile away and the shit tests will begin, and since your love will cripple your ability to pass them well, she will start losing attraction and looking elsewhere.

    It is one thing to read Roissy and theorize abstractly but to see it in its full naked reality is staggering. And when what you see involves a close friend whom you know very intimately it makes the facts even stronger, and more precise in their truth.


  75. “You don’t love me, you just love my doggystyle.”
    –Snoop Doggy Dogg


  76. Off topic- so is there any value to online dating sites such as Match, OK Cupid, and Craigslist? It is so hard to get responses from women when men seem to outnumber women 50 to 1 that I wonder if there is any point.


  77. This happens more than you think. I’ve had my fair share of girls that just up and leave, for no apparent reason other than “you’re too good for me” “you have your life together, and I don’t”… This is simply being the confident man with my life in order.

    It’s easy to pass the shit test “you must see a lot of girls”, but keeping the woman around for an LTR is another matter. The trick is trying not to invest as much emotion into it, and see what happens.

    Its hit or miss, but I think you are correct that there has to be some display of vulnerability game to keep the woman around.


  78. @specimen
    I stick by what I said. Anyone hearing “you’re a player, aren’t you?” is just doing it wrong. I bet he’s too much like a jersey shore guido. AKA retarded douchebag game.
    There is a difference between asshole game (extreme aloof and indifferent) and retarded douchebag game (retarded and douchebaggy).
    Anytime I’ve heard any girl say anything close to “you’re a player, aren’t you?” to a guy, its because he’s acting like a greasy douchebag… granted, a douchebag who gets laid, but still…

    I sometimes get girls that say I’m a man-whore, or that they’re trying to convert me from being a confirmed bachelor, but I have never had a girl break up with me or even threaten to stop seeing me because of it.
    That specific term “player” has certain connotations that aren’t a compliment. If you hear it, you’re being insulted, trust me. When a girl says “player”, shes usually referring to that mockery of a man with cologne stink lines and an orange tan.


  79. @ Science
    Yeah, a chick saying “You’re a player aren’t you?” is definitely a bad thing. They instinctively know if you’re the type of guy that’s going to attract a lot of women; and truth be told, most don’t care so long as they get your attention.

    I was disagreeing with the idea that chicks won’t leave you for being a womanizing scumbag or as some people here say, being too alpha (whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean). My point is that you can’t keep a top notch chick around indefinitely without giving her some kind of commitment. Sure you can keep them for a while, but eventually, she’s going to get tired of you banging other chicks and either leave, or passive agressively causing drama until you fold like a tent in a windstorm or get tired of it and leave.

    @ Malcom Tucker
    Vulnerability game all depends on how you normally come across. If you’re naturally intimidating (e.g. tall and good looking, an outlaw biker, NFL Linebacker) or kind of a prick (lawyer, Doctor, I-banker, etc), then vulnerability game is like kryptonite. If you’re like an average “nice guy”, then don’t worry about it so much. Contrast is key.

    @ Girly Girl
    Here’s the big problem with what you’re saying. Unless you have unusual tastes, the men that you find most attractive will also be attractive to lots of other women. As a result, they have lots of options and will be more likely to have something on the side. Just like how chicks that lots of guys go after tend to be a little more princess-ey. So, unless you want to lower your standards a bit…




    Off topic- so is there any value to online dating sites such as Match, OK Cupid, and Craigslist? It is so hard to get responses from women when men seem to outnumber women 50 to 1 that I wonder if there is any point.

    Good question. Answer: It totally depends on you and what you want.

    Lots of room to score pussy depending on your own physical attractiveness. Nothing else matters in getting responses. Expect to get a woman less attractive than you.

    – Affirmation

    Online dating feeds the female need for *affirmation*. They get All These Great Messages. It’s like Facebook: Everyone seems to be after them. It makes them Feel So Good! It feeds their hamster. Even if each and every guy is a guy they don’t want, they feel better about themselves. Going on multiple dates also makes them feel better – oooh, look, a guy likes me. Another guy. I have so many suitors! wowie! Of course, this is a complete illusion – but half the women I know who date online do it for the self-esteem hit.

    Women need that supercharged self-esteem so much. They misconstrue a guy’s wish to fuck her for a guy’s wish to have anything else to do with her. Explaining this to women never, ever, ever works: They believe their delusions. Oh, this guy or that guy will like me (inevitably, it’s the guy who’s hottest or has the most options). Riiiight. Just nod your head and be thankful you were born male and have a rational brain.

    They get to sit back and whine about the uselessness of this guy or “What The Hell Does A Black Guy Think Sending Me A Message?” or “5’8″? Get real!” or “Nah, Too Ugly” or “Jerk, you have a shitty job you think you can date me?” I’ve actually heard the conversations women have about guys that message them. I’ve watched how they sorted through profiles. It’s fucking brutal. You’re nothing but a big slab of meat. You think men are shallow? Follow a woman as she responds or doesn’t to men on the Internet. Two of my female friends (ahem) date online. They’re as shallow – and amoral – as hollow chocolate easter eggs. They’re worse than men, because test it: just try to get them to admit how vapid they are. It’s a wonder they don’t choke on their own moral hypocrisy. The whole Moral Superiority thing women preach comes crashing down when you see them go through profiles of men who often spend huge amounts of effort messaging them. I had to castigate one friend for being what was, for want of a better word, a vicious bitch with men who messaged her. I was shocked by the hatred and judgmental brutality in the words she used to ditch this guy’s letter or that guy’s profile. None of them seemed very out of place to me, either. When I called her out on it her tone changed and then she said she was just looking for a real connection. You’ve got to shake your head and wonder at the maniacal self-delusional character of women when you see shit like this.

    One friend was having no luck dating online, so over wine and skittles we went through the messages she was getting. I thought lots of these guys were great – some of them seemed genuine upper-beta or borderline alpha, even – but she found one thing after another to insult or dismiss almost all of the guys. The men she *did* pick were all the hottest and most attractive and fittest men. Not the potentially most interesting or most suitable. It was entirely predictable.

    Listen to those vapid, shallow and demeaning conversations on Sex and the City. it’s exactly how actual women think.

    So: In real life, it’s hard enough. Online? It’s misery distilled to a fine liquor, and you have to drink it neat, on the rocks if you’re very lucky and you write a good profile. Unless you’re a top-15%-in-looks male, and not shorter than 5’9″, don’t bother.

    A small percentage of the guys get all of the responses. Online dating totally exaggerates the usual female reaction: Only select the hottest men. It’s a ramped-up Estrogen-pumped Hypergamy Principle at maximum overdrive.

    And given that not all men are 6′ tall, super hot and buff, if this isn’t you, you can just give up.

    I know other guys who do this, but their experience is third-party for me. My own was pretty limited, but here it is, for what it’s worth. I’m in pretty good shape and not unattractive (6.5? I’ve had women say I pass for a 7 when well-dressed 6 otherwise), and 5’9″, with an interesting job. For a time about 4 years ago I tried online dating in a big metropolitan East Coast city; it wasn’t such a bad game for me back then, but frankly in a short time, operating day game was a billion times better, with no comparison.

    I like day game much better; throw in night game in social contexts where you’re pre-qualified (my favorite) and it’s all good. I barely ever lose with day game. So my recent experience with online dating is nil.

    However, from memory, I do remember this: online dating was actual fucking work.

    These days, from what I’m told, this is what you get:

    – Women who think, because of all the variety, they only need to pick the best men. The very best. They jump from one to another. They get so many messages, they don’t know what to do. They all think they’re the hottest thing since sliced bread.

    Of course, it’s a false sense of variety. Almost all of the guys who gets picked just fuck their way through dozens of women. The women might go through a few and think there’s variety; the men they’re actually fucking go through many times the number the women do. Almost all of the men get left out. Ergo: If you can be one of those guys, this is easy pickings. If not, don’t bother.


    This goes for both men and women: DO NOT BE FAT. This is the death knell for online dating.

    The place is chockablock full of “a few extra mars bars over the limit”. The non-fat women think that instead of a 6, they’re a 10 online. Sadly, there are so many fat women that this becomes true. A non-fat woman has her choice of which alpha cock she wants to ride.

    Fat men or men without any physical shape are at a major disadvantage. Hit the gym. Do resistance training – don’t bother with aerobic exercise. Lots and lots of resistance training. If you look like you could break things – but don’t have to break things right now – it gets much better for you.

    Extra for women: DO NOT BE OLDER THAN 33. *

    * Note: Online, virtually *all* women over the age of 30 lie about their age. Almost every one. Over 40, add 3-5 years to any age a woman writes to see her real age.

    – GAME: NONE

    All your game is useless. Only looks matter in this zone. Any skills you’ve learned or social abilities mean nothing. It’s like the most brutal bar in the world. The women put on the Super Judge Hat and are merciless.

    – MONEY

    Many women, including one insipidly vaccuous co-worker of mine, I remain dumbfounded whenever I talk to her, are bona-fide gold-diggers. They select for looks, but also for money. basically, if you can lie about your income and inflate it, you’ll get a lot more responses. be warned: these women will lie and fool you. My co-worker regularly lies to her dates about virtually everything about herself: her job, her background, her friends, her goals and desires, etc. Guy doesn’t want kids? Then neither does she. How Prenups are unsexy and say the wrong thing. I’ve heard it all from her and others like her. The internet abounds with these women.


    If you like women older than 33-35, this area is packed. There’s so much unattached (and attached) older pussy it’s hard to see straight, if this is what you like. Some guys I know regularly go through 3-4 “date girls” a month. One guys swears that this delivers so much desperate pussy it’s almost impossible to give it up. If you’re not halfway awful, you can clean up. If you’re in your 40’s like one guy I know at work, you can date an almost endless stream of 30-35 year-olds and string them along without effort. be in reasonable shape (he sort-of is) and you can sleep with them all. Most at this stage are getting pretty desperate. The divorced women are usually in a delusional state about how great they are post-divorce: it means they’re tragically easy to manipulate. You can sleep with them without even the tiniest investment and they think they’re being powerful and desirable and sexy. Don’t educate them – their hamsters just don’t get it and you don’t need to explain it.

    They believe the delusions about themselves so absolutely they’re too easy to fool.

    This guy and one other talk about this all the time. I work in media, so they have good jobs, too – but unless a woman is 27-33 and is hot, they have no intention of giving any women commitment of any kind. But they’ll sleep with lots of different women. One’s been divorced for about 10 years, and says he has more sex now with more different women at the age of 40+ something than he had for the first 30 years of his life. He’s not that attractive, either – my theory is that he just feeds into that Hamster these women have. Let them come to their own conclusions. They believe they’re super and desirable – don’t correct this opinion, and they’re very pliable.


    Any decently attractive woman will have her requirements waaaay through the roof. You can spot them right away. It’s fuzzy for me and my info is third-hand now, so might not be accurate in detail, but I remember doing this myself and thinking, Man, these women expect the world: Leaders of Men, Money, Settled, Knows How To Treat A Woman, Good-Looking, etc. A few profiles seem worthy of lampooning. Seriously, we need to set up a website for some of the more ridiculous ones.

    Some of them are so hyped it’s almost hilarious to read them. You see some from women who are, at best, not ugly, and who demand Only The Best from men – their lists of demands and descriptions (and their narcissistic descriptions of themselves) can run to pages. Holy Shit, if there was even one guy who met the requirements for some of these women, I’d like to meet him myself. I’d vote him for President of the World.

    I can’t speak for today, but even the profiles back then read to me like dream lists – virtually no men could stack up. I’m told it’s much worse today. Hence it’s way worse than a bar: expectations through the roof for unreasonable females.

    The guys who do this tell me this is what it’s like. One co-worker is a serious serial online dater who has this down to an art: we actually call him Datemeister. He can tell from a profile exactly what he needs to do to get a response and get into a woman’s pants. I hear all kinds of stories. But he has no illusions about what women think about themselves.

    He told a whole bunch of us about this woman he met: She wasn’t 37 (she was 43: “But people tell me I look 33!” – she looked 43, according to him), she had 2 kids (she didn’t mention) and she was shocked that he didn’t look quite as good as his picture, and hence was disappointed. I never saw his picture, but he said it looked exactly like him. She was unattractive (but a former hottie – a decade or two before), was used to serious guys with money and solid looks and athletic builds and whatnot – before a marriage that went sour. She expected the same even then. She’d been dating for a few years – and he said she told him before they met that she’d gotten seriously frustrated by the losers she met online, the complete lack of men, and the fact that the only men who were worth her time were nothing but assholes and jerks (ie, tooled her for cheap pussy and then got out asap).

    We all know the score: we all know women like this. They date waaay above their attractiveness quotient and then wonder what the hell is wrong with the guys who just tool them. Online dating seems to draw them out more. All the guys I know tell me stories about women with crazy expectations.

    This is what you can expect. Nobody has told me different.

    When I did it years ago, I met maybe 20 women; I slept with some of them (10? – something like that), but at the time I barely understood game or how women really work; a few were serious ball-breakers and were pretty demanding, for sure. All but maybe one or two (?) complained that men were jerks and dumped them after 3 weeks or so. The internet was filled with jerks and assholes, so women said.

    Nothing was ever said about how they were utterly unreasonable about their expectations, they had grossly inflated senses of their own worth, and crazy demands.

    Women: You want to get the hot, rich, amazing guy? You need to be 22-26, hot and super sexy and also hot and beautiful and hot. Don’t forget sexy, which means young (ie. not old) and hot. And not fat. Period.
    Your job counts for nothing. Your money counts for nothing. Your degree counts for little.
    Women just don’t get this: They think their job makes them something in the dating market. They think being a vegan and Liking Travel and baking muffins means anything. It’s shit.

    A 35 year-old not very hot slightly tubbing out matronly woman with a serious career in (insert public sector boring job here) can reasonably expect a 40-45 year-old divorced guy with dominance issues and a meek personality to be interested in investing in her. Any other guy, with looks, a strong personality or some cash is just going to fuck her and leave her. She’s not worth anything on the Sexual Market. But her brain won’t admit it and the only guys she finds are assholes.

    They just don’t see it. They get fucked over by the guys who love the fact that these women are delusional, because it makes them very easy marks.

    Most of the fault for the women’s bitterness falls entirely on their own shoulders. They’re delusional and they pick the guys who have lots of options and will just leave them. They’re casually savage with guys who don’t quite measure up to their absurd standards.

    Every single woman who dates online knows everything I’ve written here is true. If you don’t think it is: then your hamster runneth quickly, lady.

    A bunch of guys I know are seriously into online dating. Others do it with much less success. I listen and remember. I also sit there and listen to chicks who talk about it. You women can fool yourselves, but when men talk, we know the score.

    That’s online dating.

    That said, I did get lucky and scored a couple of hotter women for a while. One was a doozy; one out of 20, and I only got her because I had some experience by that point.

    Then I went to Asia.

    My lesson, on I can’t stop harping on enough:

    Don’t bother with online dating: Get on a damned plane and get the fuck out of this land of fat and overpriced and largely worthless women.

    Few of them are worth the time or effort and even fewer will make themselves available to you. American women have un-womaned themselves. This makes their self-deceit even more tragic, because they don’t realize how bitchy, brutal, narcissistic and delusional they really are.

    Date women in Korea, China, Japan or even the only other places I know about, France and various parts of Europe. American women are, by and large, but mostly “large”, garbage by comparison. And you men contemplating the brutal game of online dating should understand this.


  81. […] Chateau – “Sex Differences in Book Dedications“, “Is Spain the Worst Country in the World for Players?“, “The Assange “”"Rape”"”: A Case of Spurned Groupies“, “A Man Stops Saying Insecure Things and Finds Success with Women“, “The Player Vibe” […]


  82. @Gorby, the girl in question is Mainland Chinese, now visiiting a friend in the UK. She was all set to come to see me for a few days over Christmas. It was on, then off, then on, then off.

    I got the “player vibe”…”afraid to fall in love..” etc.

    Here’s how I handled it, and why…and her reaction.

    Radio silence for 5 days after the last “did you get my email?” Instant Message…regarding canceling her trip.

    Then, after 5 days:

    Me: “Hey, good luck” straight from this blog. She replied in a mili-second with some nonsense.

    Me: “Do what you want” (this was my own variation of vulnerability game)

    Her: My friends told me not to go , they same I’m too innocent, you won’t do anything for me. What will you do for me?

    Me: You’re friends are right. I’m no good for you. I’m bad. Totally bad.

    Her: What will you do for me? I need someone to take care of me….

    Then the vulnerability game line:

    Me: When I kissed you goodbye that last time we met in Shanghai, I never thought it would be the last time I’d see you.

    Me: I’m not your servant. Get one of your girlfriends to find some guy who will spend money on you.

    Her: I don’t want that.

    Me: I thought you were different. But you’re just like the rest. (Again from this blog)

    Her; Ok, I’ll come to see you.

    Me: Forget it. I don’t want to see you. I thought you were different.

    Her: If you want I come. If not I won’t.

    Me: Listen to your friends, they know what’s best for you. Look at the great guys they’ve snagged for themselves. (I saw some variation of this)

    She wrote some other stuff about wanting to come out. I left it there.

    It’s been a week. We’ve had no contact.

    But this worked. She wrote things on her IM “What’s on your mind” line: “Break up” and then something in Chinese regarding being love-sick.

    What was interesting about this version of vulnerability game was that she immediately flipped from being too afraid to come, to getting ready to put money down on a ticket right then and there.

    What was interesting here was all the game suggestions in this blog helped me to turn this all around.

    Now I’m waiting for the requisite 3 weeks before any further contact.

    But to Gorby’s point. There is an expectation with Chinese girls that you will at least demonstrate some vulnerability after establishing alpha cred.

    As for the Agree and Amplify. I did that all along. She found it funny.

    Her friends egged her on to try to do what Chinese girls do…get me to buy her airline ticket or whatever. I was able to re-frame this.

    The other one who came out with this was a married woman who’s western filandering husband I think prompted her to do the same.

    When it started to heat up with us, she pulled back.

    I would have liked to continue banging her, but left that one alone. She was clearly having guilt pangs.

    In a few other cases, when they took a step back, I took two.


  83. @ Flip: no, there’s no point in online gaming. go find real women, who are hundred times better looking anyways. hot women don’t have time for internet profiles other than their “modeling” ones… hah


  84. Da Player Vibe: Bitch, I got me 50 women, make me a better offer!


  85. Question: why would any man want to play all these games in the first place? Would you put up with the behavior attributed to females (sh*t tests, etc.) if it were coming from a man? I don’t think so. Much of the problem here is that men think they have to have a woman in their life. And so will jump through all sorts of hoops to get access to a vagina.

    Another point to be considered is why, if women claim they “can’t meet men,” they play all these games which are designed to shoot down a sizable chunk of men, often over the most trivial reasons? Of course, it can be argued it’s all genetic programming, females selecting for the “alpha” males so they can pass on higher quality genes, etc., etc.

    Another explanation is that a sizable chunk of women act like spoiled children, and can get away with it because men bend over backwards to indulge them.

    Yes, men must be aloof and be able to walk away from any woman, no matter how “hot.” A woman does indeed find this more attractive than a guy who showers her with attention. But then again, men ought to not have this attitude simply because they think they will have a chance at gaining access to her bodily orifices.

    Men need to liberate themselves from the games women play.


  86. Burton, I have a hard time believing that you believe your own questions.

    Do you not enjoy female company? Have you ever been loved? Do you enjoy being in love?

    I find it difficult to believe that there exist some people for whom the experience of love with a woman is not the ultimate hedonistic experience.

    I think some people are using philosophy in place of pragmatics, when searching for quality of life. Quality of life is mostly physical, and for men requires a woman.


  87. @Gorbachev RE: Online dating

    Dude, that’s an awesome summary.

    Online dating is exactly as you describe. The self-inflated opinions of women have of themselves are crazy.

    One thing you said I think bears extra emphasis: pictures are everything. My success with it went way up when I got some great pictures. Like you said, you gotta be in shape. I’ve been hitting the gym like an animal the past couple of years. I bought some made-to-measure dress shirts and slacks that make it apparent. Then I found a semi-professional photographer on Craigslist to go to a scenic place and take a couple hundred pictures of me in various outfits, scenes and poses. I picked the best three or four from that session and it helped my success on dating a lot.

    Like you said, there *are* tons of thirtysomething women that are bangable and will respond but are too low for my league. So, bang them and cut them loose when you’re done. If you want to up your notch count with thirtysomething girls it’s not that hard.

    Catching hot twentysomething women without children is almost impossible. Those girls are getting 50-100 messages every single day. You’re better off getting out in the real world and day or night gaming. It’s obvious if you think about it: most hot twentysomethings are besieged with options in the real world. What kind of hot twentysomething needs to go online to add more options?

    The other thing I’d say about online dating: there’s just lots of weird girls and plain weirdness. When you meet someone in the real world you can trust your intuition based on how they act and speak. In online dating you don’t have any of that. So, I always followed this rule: the moment you get a weird feeling about a chick, just drop it.

    I couldn’t agree more that fatness is the kiss of death in online dating. There’s tones of porkers. I only dated girls that said “slim” or “athletic” in their profiles, and even then some of them turn out to be porkers. Any girl that says “average” for her body type is going to turn out to be fat.

    The hard part of online dating is getting to the first date. If you can get there and you have good dating skills, game, confidence, style, it’s easy to stand out from the competition. Online dating is filled with beta and omega guys.

    You’re going to have to write a lot of messages. I think I was sending out about 25-50 messages for each first date.

    Gorbachev, the single best thing you said is “Don’t bother with online dating: Get on a damned plane and get the fuck out of this land of fat and overpriced and largely worthless women.” I’ve spent a cumulative sum of about three or four months in Russia and met lots off girls off a dating site called An upper-beta western guy with confidence, style, game and some Russian can meet more high-value twentysomething girls than he’ll know what to do with… and he won’t have to deal with the whole bitch complex of American girls.

    It really IS a different world once you leave the West. Solid upper-beta guys are in huge demand in the east among hot girls. It’s also obvious once you think about it: in places where life is hard and money isn’t growing on trees and feminist BS hasn’t permeated everything, young women KNOW that their time to catch a quality guy is limited. They simply can’t afford to ride the cock carousel for so long. They know where that path leads. Catching a good guy in the east is the single most important thing a girl in the east can do to improve her life.


  88. @Gorbachev

    Completely agree with your assessment of online dating. If you want to pump women that are 5-6’s who are in their early to mid 30’s its great. That is if you are good looking, have something interesting about you, and have a good/interesting career. If none of the above, don’t even bother.

    I tried eharmony for awhile in my days of early gaming and it would pay out about 5-7 women a month without tons of effort. If you are new to game then you might want to try online dating if not just for the fact it will help you understand the psyche that is the modern woman. All the profiles look the same, they all have unrealistic expectations, and all the pictures have the same setting. Almost every profile will have a picture a woman holding a baby, one at a wedding reception, if they think or actually are over a 6 one in a bikini (if they have such a photo don’t even bother with them, not worth your time), and a shot of them hanging out with their gal friends. It is so uniform it is actually disturbing.

    Also, online dating helped me get used to rejection. I would swap a few messages with a woman who looked interested and then boom nothing. The flake factor was about 90%. Even though I didn’t realize it at the time this was actually good for me. In less than 1 month I normed to the idea that women are, as a collective, a disposable product.

    There also isn’t much “game” to online dating. The most you can do is try to make your profile look like you are interesting and enjoy travel. Then when talking to women keep it brief and intermittent. Wait at least 1-2 days before every response. When you talk to them ask them stupid questions that make them think like “I went to Italy last year. What is your dream vacation?” Online, this stuff is chick crack and because you seeded the question that makes them think about their self absorbed, hedonistic dream vacation they will associate that thought experience with you. This will make them think you are “interesting” or “fun” which will make them inclined to meet you in person. And get them off line with 3-4 substantial messages. If they balk at meeting at this point they will either cease communication or flake at a later date. Don’t waste your time on them. Also, don’t forget that the virtual “back turn” works very well to women online. They use online dating to fuel their self absorbed obsession about themselves and it really offends them when a guy they might like just stops contacting them. Back in the day, I would have women that I hadn’t communicated with for a month or more contact me out of the blue wanting to do something in person.


  89. @julian

    I had a similar experience this summer. I routinely visit friends at the Jersey Shore at least once a year. I would stay in their shore house which the same 6-8 guys would get every summer. These guys were straight up Alphas and cleaned up the shore every year. They had great jobs, drove sports cars, dressed well, and ran tight game. They would inflate their numbers a bit but most averaged about 20-25 women in a 3 month period and that was mostly only working it on the weekend.

    I missed the last two summers due to work, but I made a return trip this summer. Turns out over those two years most of these guys had either gotten married or had really LTR girls. Most were on the porky side whereas before most of them were slim if not buff. The married guys had traded in their sports cars (probably at the nagging of the wife) for cars like station wagons or dad sedans. The guys looked miserable and when their women were elsewhere (off shopping and spending the guys money) they would complain endlessly about the lack of sex.

    Turned out to be a horrible vacation. I left a few days early under some sort of pretext it was so bad. I was expecting a week of drunken debauchery and running game. Instead I sat around drinking nasty beer with depressed guys as their women barked commands at them.

    So, yes, it is easy for an Alpha to go completely Beta and it doesn’t take long.

    Keep in mind women only use their womanly strengths to get in the door. The cooking, cleaning, and endless sex magically ceases the second they have their claws into you. That is why I think LTR’s longer than 6 months are dangerous.

    Unless you find yourself a truly feminine woman (which there are some still out there) they will eventually turn into the raging monster that is the modern woman at some point on you. Once the power dynamic shifts and you are in her frame it is almost impossible to get back into yours. At that point you are better off dumping her or getting a divorce if you were a fool and married her.


  90. I love the haters of game. Their “criticism” is always the same.

    Q: Why do you want to play these childish games with women? Just be yourself and have fun.

    A: I tried the “just be yourself” tact for the first 30 years of my life and I got a grand total of 3 women. After running game for a fraction of the time I have racked up probably close to 150+.

    Q: Shouldn’t you respect women?

    A: You mean shouldn’t I be subservient to women.

    Q: Women are more refined than men. If we just let them lead we would be better off. Why can’t you see this?

    A: Show me, in the entire 6000+ years of recorded history, one successful civilization ever run by women and maybe I will let you tell me some more.


  91. The End

    Keep in mind women only use their womanly strengths to get in the door. The cooking, cleaning, and endless sex magically ceases the second they have their claws into you. That is why I think LTR’s longer than 6 months are dangerous.

    Unless you find yourself a truly feminine woman (which there are some still out there) they will eventually turn into the raging monster that is the modern woman at some point on you.

    With enough dominance and the right dose of jealousy (including some on your part) you can keep that first day fresh feeling happening. It’s an art. Some guys use travel to help renew longing for the really long stretches.

    I have a girl who I’ve known for five or six years who is still my little bitch, even though I’ve moved on. She still cooks, cleans, sucks dick on command, and would marry me within fifteen minutes of asking.

    A woman isn’t feminine. No woman is. You make her feminine.


  92. I had three girl friends, all LTR’s, break up with me for one reason. I wouldn’t commit to marrying them. This was all back when I was in my twenties. All three ended up quickly marrying someone else (within a year) and two got divorces and third I lost track of because she moved out of the area.


  93. Here’s the most difficult part for me. It’s not necessarily playing aloof and indifferent *after* I’m already engaged with an interest; there are plenty of ways to demonstrate my indifference once interaction is underway. The problem is how do you convey indifference when entering a place filled with beautiful women? A simple stare (particularly from my hungry yearning middle age weak beta eyes) immediately does me in. And if I can’t break the ice without violating the indifference rule, always being careful not to gawk at anyone, how can I ever hope to play the asshole?

    I’ve been in that situation countless times and sometimes I step back and look around. The saddest thing as someone like me is looking around and spotting a half dozen or so other middle aged betas doing exactly the same thing, looking at exactly the same women, yearning in exactly the same way, with no clue on what to do about it.

    How do you address the need to balance?


  94. @greenlander

    @Gorbachev RE: Online dating
    Dude, that’s an awesome summary.
    Online dating is exactly as you describe. The self-inflated opinions of women have of themselves are crazy.

    I have no idea what to add to it, because my recent experience is limited. I think I originally sent out many times more messages than I got responses to. On the other hand, I was in my early 30’s and I got messages from 35-42 year-olds who sent genuinely tempting messages all the time. I must have had about 3-6 a week (20-something women get 10-50 a day).

    Women get lots of attention but have to put up no investment or risk. It churns the mill of their hamster wheel without cost and inflates their sense of self-worth exponentially. I never tried this, but it occurs to me that mega-aloof game – show interest, back right off, etc., would work well.

    One thing you said I think bears extra emphasis: pictures are everything.

    First response is 100% looks. Evenmore than for men looking for women. Your game is worth nothing.

    Like you said, there *are* tons of thirtysomething women that are bangable and will respond but are too low for my league. So, bang them and cut them loose when you’re done. If you want to up your notch count with thirtysomething girls it’s not that hard.

    My 40-something associates say snagging a 30+ woman is dirt easy if you have your shit together. You can jump from one to another with relative ease. On the other hand, if you’re not attractive or things aren’t great, then forget it.

    Catching hot twentysomething women without children is almost impossible.

    *THAT* I remember. Probably more true now.
    Even mega-alpha dudes must have trouble with this. They’ll get comments like, “He had a shirtless pic.” The standards for the hot women are so high you wonder how they ever get laid.

    Don’t bother with dating for these women. Game. Play it in rea life, it’s a million times better.

    The other thing I’d say about online dating: there’s just lots of weird girls and plain weirdness.

    I remember that, too. If a woman is getting desperate at the age of 32 and isn’t ugly, then there’s usually a reason. OCD, weird ticks, paranoia, exaggerated suspicion, bad habits. Women who lie about everything (smoking, drugs, age, relationship status, education, everything). So many women lie I personally found it impossible to trust anything anyone said. The women told me the men mostly lie about height (as if they can get away with it) and money, but less about money. Mostly about height.

    Says everything.

    I had two women I never slept with (dodged that bullet) go on about how men persecuted her. One stalked her, one used to belittle her in public, etc. They just went on and on and on and on about it. Resentment issues, any? One turned out to be a little crazy and called me for weeks afterward; I was actually too scared to acknowledge her and tell her off, even. She eventually sent me insulting messages, and then sweet ones and little missives and notes asking how I was. Holy crap, scary stuff.

    I couldn’t agree more that fatness is the kiss of death in online dating.

    For guys, too. Even non-skinny women want a muscly tight guy. Be in good shape and you get to fuck them all. They all have this sense of entitlement.

    Gorbachev, the single best thing you said is “Don’t bother with online dating: Get on a damned plane and get the fuck out of this land of fat and overpriced and largely worthless women.”

    Can’t be said enough. American women are largely worthless as women, compared to those I met almost anywhere else. This can’t be said often or loudly enough.

    Women get angry at this and men dismiss it. Once you actually live abroad, you realize how true it is. It rings out like the ring from a loud, clear bell. I’ve no idea about Russia, but it strikes you as undeniable in the East.

    I’ve heard the same thing about Colombia/Venezuela and Brazil, too.

    If American women knew how awful they were, they’d be humiliated. Lots of guys complain about how much hatred American women spew when they see good American guys married to or dating foreign women, especially Eastern Europeans (who they see as real competition); if anything, they should have even more hatred. From what I can see, there’s a vast amount of justification for it. American women are embarassingly awful.


  95. Bob Turk … say you are in a bar and there are many attractive women around and you are there with a buddy of yours.
    First and foremost you and your buddy need to look like you are having a great time together. Talking , joking laughing and so on. You are subcommunicating that you are having a great time regardless of the talent around you ; that your good time is not based on them but in spite of them.

    I have a “wingman” … and I am his “wingman” , and we are good mates (to use an Australian term) , we catch up for a few drinks , talk and have a laugh and you would be suprised how many times women will either come over or you are able to “open sets” in the vicinity.

    A good guideline is no more than three guys in a group … too many becomes too intimidating for women and you become too focussed on the interaction and dynamics of your own group.

    Standing around in a bar or club , looking outwards and around is not a good look.

    Men need to take into account the dynamics and nature of subcommunication on its many subtle levels.


  96. Haters and critics of the game are usually people that have either run out of options , running out of options or are aware that they are low down on the status ladder compared to their peers.

    These are the people on the sidelines that lack the fitness, nous and value to play in the game; or have just plain given up.

    For example: How often do you hear an attractive woman say , “It is what is inside that counts” …. hardly ever …
    Whereas you will find unattractive , low value women saying this self-serving crap all the time.

    Looks in many cases may only be skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone.


  97. Julian

    Men, (even alphas) if you do fall in love DO NOT lower your guard, ever.

    Much more sensible than the cowardly option of simply avoiding love. More hedonistic, as well.


  98. Ther alpha never ends. Just look at the fuckin approach to the mike


  99. @Gorbachev

    Your comment about online dating is pure genius. I’ve only been on the periphery of the phenomenon through work experience, friends and acquaintances but I had sensed what you put into a brilliant assessment. Also to your point have you seen the latest Zoosk commercials? It is vile on so many levels!


  100. Modern Civilization is to an alpha as air is to a fish. Alphas thrive in chaos, not order.


  101. Gorbachev is right on the fucking money here and you can test it for yourself.

    If you find yourself on an online dating site; create a second “fake” profile and subtley make it out to be the modern woman’s “ideal man” , use fake pictures from the net of some male model.

    Ideal Man – well paying job , loves to travel , good looking , works out , …. blah blah blah

    The late 20’s and 30 something chicks will lap this shit up like a fat hungry chick let loose in an ice-cream factory.

    Needless to say , you will not be suprised by the amount of interest you get and the amount of shit tests you can throw their way.

    Even then , you will STILL find the enormity of the the self-entitlement and hampster spinning beggars belief.

    After you have had your fun with them … summarily reject and delete them.


  102. Obamacare discriminates against men.

    More feminization of America.

    On average, women live 5 years longer than men. So why is research skewed towards women’s health and not men’s?

    Oh yeah, the feminist power lobby.


  103. “Modern Civilization is”

    an oxymoron.

    Modernity, from Passchendaele to our present Butthexing, is the antithesis of civilization.

    The alpha thrives regardless of chaos or order, but the latter provides a more fruitful field in which his seed too can grow and thrive in its own right without being swept away in the storms of the former.

    The creation and maintenance of civilization is the ultimate service an Alpha Female can provide her man. It is homemaking wrought large.


  104. The Twelve Days of Christmas goes politically-correct… check it out:


  105. Off topic , but an illustration of what happens when an entitlement complex and a womans rationalisation hampser spin dangerously out of control.


  106. Off topic … but why Islam cannot take a joke.


  107. “The alpha thrives regardless of chaos or order, but the latter provides a more fruitful field in which his seed too can grow and thrive in its own right without being swept away in the storms of the former.”

    The latter creates a world where he is restricted by law and custom. The former allows to him to carve out his own law and custom, usually in his own self interest. The former is preferable. The latter is the pipe dream of humanity.


  108. on December 13, 2010 at 9:18 am Personal Devilopment


    That is only a half of the story. In the chaos world, you did not last past the age 40. Aging and disease did a number on you so the next alpha (about 25yo) had an easy job of disposing of you, if you did not die in defense of your turf or offense against another. The order world was initiated by alphas that wanted to extend their fortunes. They instituted the order, in ways that fit their prerogatives, by setting down the laws and customs. The cutthroat competition with other alphas never really went away until fairly recent times, but your chances of reaching 60 and beyond in the order settings increased dramatically.


  109. Dear, The End and those who complain about women spending all the money:

    The LP says: Us normal women – us haters of feminism, lovers of men and subservient types? ah, we are the silent forgotten group of women. We love to clean, love to cook, love to be reasonable creatures and let the man lead – Causing as little drama as possible, asking as few questions as possible and be married life partners.

    As for blowing money on stupid stuff: That is the mans fault and her stupidity. Once a worse depression-recession-regression into a 3rd world ramps up everyone will be equally broke.

    The problem is that Americano soceity is a wreck and chicks like us are staying single cuz it ain’t there for us.

    As for my pro marriage stance? Well, it ain’t in America but it does exist someplace else. I have seen for others and its real. I rejoice in happiness for others.

    Merry Christmas and thank God for this blog!


  110. Somewhat OT: Regarding male body image; most men after 30 gain some weight that is not really “fat” its just the naturally progression from youth to a normal adult male. It is not really fat its more like stalky or a more well rounded image. Still appealing, still normal. I worry about how healthy the guy is over extreme gym style body images. The only person I apply the hardcore pro-ana/workout/CR/healthy eating nutcase stance is 2 me.

    These images of buff bods are kinda underwhelming when poor man is a complete idiot or looks unhealthy and too freaking tan.

    Perfection is a hard master to attain and a real bitch to maintain. Minimal levels of perfection are out there. It is a lifestyle commitment.

    Back to the topic, using game is not player-esque. Men are not players, they are just guys being guys. Let us stop the war on men!


  111. Specimen,

    As a group, women who sleep around make more wrong choices than those who don’t. Higher number of sex partners are correlated to higher depression rates, more divorce, and lower satisfaction with their personal lives. This is the flip-side to the science that is frequently discussed on this blog. These are the sociological reasons.

    In more conservative societies, it was implicitly understood that even in more restricted conditions, women still made wrong choices (though to a lesser extent). This is why families often played an important role in who she choses to marry. The man a woman became involved with had to pass many societal tests and filters before coming into intimate contact with her.


  112. on December 13, 2010 at 12:33 pm Personal Devilopment

    @The LP 999

    The LP says: Us normal women – us haters of feminism, lovers of men and subservient types?

    Subservient is an iffy word. I use deferential, I want my wench to be able to stand on her own, because there are situations in life when it is required, yet still tacitly acknowledging my override whenever that is forthcoming.

    The problem is that Americano soceity is a wreck and chicks like us are staying single cuz it ain’t there for us.

    How so? What prevents you to get the “right” man? What is not there for you? Sounds a bit like an entitlement problem/excuse of some fashion. People were capable of forming long term relationship (e.g. marriage) even in times when the circumstances were dire.


  113. Off-topic, but…

    “Judge in Va. strikes down federal health care law,” AP via Yahoo! News, 13 DEC 10,


  114. Gorbachev’s description of online dating is pure gold and that essay needs to be spread widely so that all the guys who do online dating can learn the truth.

    I’m an online dater but of a later generation (I’m 48) and what he says exactly mirrors my experience.

    This quote summarizes the experience:

    “Online dating? It’s misery distilled to a fine liquor and you have to drink it neat or on the rocks if you’re very lucky and you write a good profile. Unless you’re a top-15%-in-looks male and not shorter than 5’9″, don’t bother.”


  115. CLAIRE: “Are ALL these your girlfriends?”

    BENDER: “Some I consider girlfriends, some I just consider.”


  116. I like the grape feeder line. My mom once went out with the quarterback at her college and she told me she was feeding him grapes at one point.


  117. @ Personal Devilopment

    Do you want to live to the point of living death like I see everyday? I don’t. Like all in this world of mass everything, people think living to a certain age means something. It doesn’t. If you’ve been a beta all your life, its not a life… its a waking nightmare.

    I work around some of the most slovenly, disgusting people you’ve ever seen. One man has gout. Fucking gout, for God’s sake. One man who was at least 400 pounds stopped coming in a few months ago, most likely dead from the diabetes that was eating away at his leg. And that’s the people with jobs I’m around. There’s the plethora of fat fucks at the grocery store in pajamas, and their women. The illegals, shoving you aside, making their way to the Western Union to send our money back to the drug nations.

    Modern civilization, this Western empire we have (not just America, who came late to the game, but all of the West), has brought out the very worst in humanity. People think murder is evil, but they’ll condone the death of their very souls for what? Cheap hamburgers? Cheap shoes? They condemn their race to destruction because they can’t get off their lazy ass and do the dishes or the gardening. People won’t have kids because it interferes with dinners and wine tasting. Only the worst of the worst are having kids and teaching them to cry like bitches until they get what they want without any work.

    The worst thing to happen to the West was peace.


  118. on December 13, 2010 at 9:24 pm Personal Devilopment

    @ harmonica

    I think you conflate the social hierarchy status and relational status. These are not the same. I also think that you romanticize those times when life was hard, short and brutal and often not very glorious.

    In bygone times, while men were subordinated socially to other men, they were still alpha (a majority) in their own homes. I’ve seen it (I know I am dating myself thusly) and know it to be true. There were relational betas, even omegas, but less so than today.

    Our times see a reversal, you can see it in the case of TOTUS “I don’t want Michelle mad” BHO. In fact a lowly apprentice carpenter may be more alpha as wenches go that some schmuck much higher up on the social ladder.

    What you present is not a result of western civilization, but rather a perversion of it. What is the name of this poison that transmogrified a viable system into a caricature? Socialism.

    It won’t last. There would be a steep price to pay for this asinine experiment and for many the time that the bill will come due will be terminal. The things will return to a more natural order, including relationships between men and women.

    As for the swelling numbers of fat people, there are many factors and though a sizable portion is due to gluttony and a lack of physical activity, it is not the whole story. Highly processed food sweeps another sizable segment and the rest is due to viral causes.


  119. This new iPod app should also come with a bonus extra single shot – single use sawn off shotgun for its users to put themselves out of their own misery with some semblance of nobility.


  120. Hi All…

    I’m organizing a New Year’s Eve party. A girl I’m gaming, cute, aerobics teachers bought a ticket.

    I’ve been gaming her by teasing, kino, and am getting good IOI’s.

    I “volunteered” her to help…my way of getting her involved.

    She of course agreed and asked for instructions.

    Given my over-gaming and often player-vibe….any tips on how to play this so I bang her at the party while maximizing the compliance she’s already giving me….

    We need basics for this thing, party supplies, then help setting up.

    She’s keen for “instructions”….I’ve been cool, aloof, funny and alpha…but don’t want to over-play this.



  121. Why would any man cheat on Liz Hurley ?

    Down here in Oz, we have an expression.

    Why does a dog lick its balls? Because it can.


  122. When the bad boy walks in the room, a woman’s list of requirements goes out the window. When the beta walks in, her pussy snaps shut and the list comes back. God damn life so predictable!


  123. Mr. C

    Why would any man cheat on Liz Hurley ?

    Because she’s a demented star-fucker who’s hit 40.


  124. modding?
    So, I’m punished for my quick wit.

    Yet another instance in America, where competence is punished…


  125. Yep, this post is right on. All of the “rational” things that girl mentions are pretty superficial as is. I mean does she REALLY care that much if her dude knows wine?

    that pretentious checklist can be easily overridden by not only game, but even the scent of a dissimilar immune system ( )


  126. Mschro …. you bring this to mind ….


  127. mschro

    I mean does she REALLY care that much if her dude knows wine?

    cufflinks and Bogart movies too – kassyk does, and she’s the bee’s knees missy


  128. an update….I’ve taken all these posts and advice to heart in my recent gaming of a girl who I would consider a more serious prospect.

    True to form, after gaming her and banging her, she started with the questions/shit-tests about my reputation for banging other chicks.

    I toned down the cocky-funny and went direct. I used “we’re good for each other. We’re both intense…” My thinking was two-fold: the “we” part eliminated any beta neediness in using “I think”…. The “we’re intense”…also played to her ego while pairing it up with my own alpha cred. It struck the right note without over-gaming. Also the fact it was a contrast from the cocky-funny gave it more cred.

    Then back to cocky-funny.

    The result: hamster still spinning evidenced by “you never take anything I ask seriously”.