Don’t be that girl

Women have a mental laundry list of traits they want in a man.  Unlike men, it is not so simple for them to see an attractive guy from across the room for a sum total of 1.5 seconds and immediately want to have sex with him, no questions asked.  They throw out hoops to jump through and head games to separate the worthy from the pretenders.  As sexual gatekeepers, women rely on this complex social interplay to assess a man’s rank and deny or grant him admission to her body.

A crucial part of seduction is role reversal.  You want to turn the tables on women and use their psyops against them.  A man can magnify his desirability simply by having standards beyond face, boobs, and bum.  It is intoxicating to a woman to be pursued by a man who will judge her for more than her looks.  That means sticking to a mental list of qualifications women must meet if they want to enjoy the pleasure of your company.  The trick is to pay it more than lip service; having standards means nothing if you don’t actually believe in them.

I know from experience and scientifically-valid astrological textbooks that certain character traits and behaviors are like signal flares of a drama-prone incompatible relationship.  If a girl jumps on top of a bar to dance for an appreciative audience on our first date I know she will be a poor choice for a girlfriend but a great ride for a torrid fling.

To any girl I meet:  when I strike up a conversation with you this is what is going through the back of my head:

Don’t be that girl…

… who thinks diamonds are a better best friend than a dog

… who lost touch with her femininity

… who has given up on love

… who pretends she can play like a boy

… who flakes

… who knows what she wants a little too surely

… who is an attention whore

… who is practiced in the art of aloofness and indifference (that’s my job)

… who cannot handle teasing

… who has sexual hangups

… who cannot take a sincere compliment

… who has lost her joie de vivre

… who doesn’t understand that men and women complement, not compete with, each other

… who re-applies her make-up every 10 minutes

… with daddy issues

… who doesn’t at least reach for the check

… who likes being a trophy a little too much

… who reads between every line

… who curses and flips the bird a lot

… who uses too much trendy slang

… who will accept flirting from other men while we are out on a date

… who mugs for invisible cameras

… who is externally validated

This may seem like an exhaustive, impossibly unrealistic list, and for  most girls maybe it is, but compared to the list of demands I occasionally read on craigslist from the sorts of women who’d be happier in love if they paid for it, I don’t think I’m asking for much.





Comments


  1. The only one I disagree with is “who pretends she can play like a boy”. Everything else is pretty good.

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  2. “who mugs for invisible cameras”

    aren’t we all a little guilty of this? Otherwise, an excellent list!

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  3. I don’t get the pretends she can play like a boy either…but otherwise, that list isn’t unreasonable. And not unlike the lists that women make when talking to a potential date…mate…whatever.

    Although I must disagree about women seeing a man across a room and wanting to jump him. Have you seen Leonardo Dicaprio?

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  4. carrie, i meant being a playette – acting out sexually like men do. i’m reminded of the girls i dated who proudly proclaimed their sluttiness, like it was a badge of honor. underneath the bravado i could tell they resented the lifestyle they chose for themselves. they were often the most anti-male.

    leo, sure. what about leo minus the fame? leo the good-looking everyman. fame is possibly the biggest aphrodisiac for women, bigger even than vast wealth.

    and when women speak of wanting to jump a guy in a bar, it’s never with the same immediacy as it is when a man says the same thing. would you honestly have sex with a handsome guy within seconds of catching his eye across the room? because i can tell you as a guy, we would with hot chicks if they would let us get away with it.

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  5. so why is it okay for men to wear their sluttiness as a badge of honor, but it’s something you would hold against a woman? but there i go with that pesky equality thing again.

    leo in blood diamond is hot. fame or no. but that’s the thing, he’s like an immortal. men don’t look like that in real life. his looks are part of why he’s famous, i don’t think it’s the fame that makes him hot.

    your last point i’ll give you. my brain kicks in and ruins it. which i suppose was your point all along. dammit.

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  6. because men and women are not the same, equality is a fool’s errand. sluttiness will elicit unequal social opprobium as long as men’s prime directive is to spread the seed while women’s is to guard the egg.

    leo has got feline beauty. kind of effeminate-looking for a guy, no? he’s not immortal, just symmetrical. there are leos out there, but since they are not famous you don’t elevate them as much. my buddies and i have talked about the hollywood effect. any given stroll down 18th street i see a few girls prettier than the models or actresses du jour. as hot as kirsten dunst is, for instance, on a saturday night i can point out 5 girls at st ex who would pace her in beauty.

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  7. I can point out 100 girls that can pace kirsten dunst in beauty, b/c kiki is not pretty. you say tomato…the fame has zero to do with it, my dear. men don’t look like round these parts. hollywood is full of hotties, men and women. b/c that’s part of what it takes to be holly wood famous (steve buschemi and the like notwithstanding). take a walk around hyde or whatever the club du jour is in LA and you can’t swing your dior bag 2 feet without smacking one of them. nyc? swing your coach/LV bag at least 3 cars before you hit one that’s close.

    still don’t get why a woman who wears her ‘sluttiness’ as a badge disqualifies her though…

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  8. maybe kirsten was not the best exemple. my tastes run a little out of the mainstream. how about rachel weisz? a true beauty. i saw two women yesterday who were in the same league. to say that fame has no effect on how women perceive a man’s attractiveness is to be living in an alternate universe. jack nicholson is not looking too hot nowadays but he’s still got the young babes lining up.

    but i take your point about LA. from my observations, there are proportionally fewer hot women than in other cities. this may extend to the hotness of men as well, but i wouldn’t know since all men look ugly to me.

    a woman who admits to being a slut is basically saying “hey guys, if one of you decides to invest in me you will have little assurance that any kid we have will be yours!”

    a man who admits to being a slut is saying “hey girls, i’m attractive to lots of women. perhaps you will be the one to win me over?”

    and i say this as a guy who loves sluts. they make my job easier.

    if the double standard really bothers you, you could always change human nature. it’s not like it hasn’t been tried before.

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  9. The double standard is the product of weak minds and generations of hypocrisy. It’s not human nature, it is societal mores. Women experience repressed sexuality expectations put upon them by society because they bear the burden of unwanted fruit. It’s ridiculous to suggest this is human nature. Women are equally as sexual as men and in the context of a more open society they would behave differently. Only weak minded men judge women for allowing us to achieve exactly what we’re trying to achieve.

    It’s kind of funny to hear that kind of fallacy from someone who is blogging about “game”. Women are generally more promiscuous than they let on and men are generally less successful than they portray themselves to be. That’s the socially acceptable standard, not human nature. How many guys do you meet that have had 50 or 75 or even triple digit partners and then you meet women and they usually have a number like 3 or 7 or maybe 20 at the outside. Obviously the math doesn’t work out very well.

    Every guy is constantly on the prowl. It is in our genetic wiring though some will deny this, this is human nature. The difference between guys with game and guys with no game is just a combination of tools (looks, fame, money, power), confidence and skills (rap, experience, target knowledge).

    Side Note: Women generally look better the warmer the weather in their geographical location. If you’re going to spend 8 monhs of the year in shorts and bikini’s you’re more likely to feel a need to be in the gym.

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  10. The double standard is the product of weak minds and generations of hypocrisy. It’s not human nature, it is societal mores. Women experience repressed sexuality expectations put upon them by society because they bear the burden of unwanted fruit. It’s ridiculous to suggest this is human nature. Women are equally as sexual as men and in the context of a more open society they would behave differently. Only weak minded men judge women for allowing us to achieve exactly what we’re trying to achieve.

    It’s kind of funny to hear that kind of fallacy from someone who is blogging about “game”. Women are generally more promiscuous than they let on and men are generally less successful than they portray themselves to be. That’s the socially acceptable standard, not human nature. How many guys do you meet that have had 50 or 75 or even triple digit partners and then you meet women and they usually have a number like 3 or 7 or maybe 20 at the outside. Obviously the math doesn’t work out very well.

    Every guy is constantly on the prowl. It is in our genetic wiring though some will deny this, this is human nature. The difference between guys with game and guys with no game is just a combination of tools (looks, fame, money, power), confidence and skills (rap, experience, target knowledge).

    Side Note: Women generally look better the warmer the weather in their geographical location. If you’re going to spend 8 monhs of the year in shorts and bikini’s you’re more likely to feel a need to be in the gym

    ^ this total bunk

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  11. “Women are equally as sexual as men and in the context of a more open society they would behave differently.”

    No. Your a fucking idiot. If women were just as sexual as guys they would be masturbating everyday. They don’t. There are tonnes of surveys that confirm this. And I know tonnes of girls that I am on an intimate enough basis to know they don’t. However when women are in a sexual relationship with a guy they are very attracted to then everything is different. In this case you may find women masturbating all the time. In this case they are sometime even more sexual than the guy they are with. But this type of things is rare.

    Women are contextually sexual.

    Men are always sexual.

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  12. wow, you sound like a completely different writer back then…..so…real and pure….

    [editor: god’s lonely man.]

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  13. “I know from experience and scientifically-valid astrological textbooks…”

    lol

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  14. “scientifically-valid astrological textbooks” kind of just invalidated your whole blog….

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