A Day With Zeets

Zeets on game:

Me: [while helping him set up a new TV I belch loudly] BEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLCCCCCHHHH.
Zeets: Was that a neg? [imitating me approaching some girls] Hi, I’m… BEEEELLLLCHHH… haha hey girls that was a neg! You like me now!

Zeets on long distance cockblocking:

Me: So there’s this girl who lives in another country who loves me. She told me a guy hit on her last night and she turned him down by telling him she had an internet lover.
Zeets: Wow, that guy must’ve felt like shit. Cockblocked from afar!
Me: Yeah, it’s one thing to get cockblocked by another guy in the bar, but to get cockblocked by an internet dude… humiliation!
Zeets: A girl who rejects someone by saying “No, I’m in love with a guy on the internet” is a lot worse than “I have a boyfriend.”
Me: It’s like saying “Your physical presence can’t even compete with an IM”.

Zeets on blogging:

Zeets: Everyone’s got their little blog now. Get up at 1 in the afternoon, trundle to the store to buy organic hipster meuslix, come back and blog about it. [makes exaggerated typing motion with his hands] Blog, blog, blog. Blogging piglets!

Zeets on the consumer culture:

Zeets: Help me carry out this TV. [we were leaving Best Buy with his new 1,000 inch LCD TV purchase]
Me: This is gaudy. You’re rolling out with the biggest package in the place.
Zeets: Notice how all eyes are turned towards me. The women are aroused by my display of materialism. [looks over at a middle-aged woman and winks] A big purchase will make you feel like a man and boost your testosterone major.

Zeets on herbs:

“I WANT TO CRUSH THEM ALL.”





Comments


  1. The women are aroused by my display of materialism. [looks over at a middle-aged woman and winks] A big purchase will make you feel like a man and boost your testosterone major.

    If you have to pay for it, it’s not worth it.

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  2. Zeets needs a blog. Or a Youtube channel.

    If you have to pay for it, it’s not worth it.

    In one way or another, we all have to pay for it. Just not always with cash.

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  3. It’s like saying “Your physical presence can’t even compete with an IM”.

    I hit a lot of guys with that back in the day. The IM guy was no better than flesh and blood guys around me, and probably worse in many ways. But I couldn’t have him, and so I wanted him all the more more desperately. Now we’re married.

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  4. on August 25, 2008 at 3:30 pm Peregrine John

    Zeets (on blogging) described twitter and its lookalikes perfectly. How does one live like that? Reminds me of an exchange from Arthur.

    Arthur: Do you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to take a bath.
    Hobson [drily]: I’ll alert the media.

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  5. So who is Zeets?

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  6. When life seems too tough to endure, some sex or shopping seems a cure.

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  7. on August 25, 2008 at 5:08 pm Usually Lurking

    I agree. I love shopping for sex.

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  8. on August 25, 2008 at 5:59 pm Dr. Grzlickson

    I’m already sick of Zeets.

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  9. Zeets rhymes with Teats. Your nipples, they speak ?

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  10. hipster mueslix?!

    Zeets is a genius.

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  11. Fuck you Dr. Grzlickson 🙂

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  12. on August 25, 2008 at 8:26 pm A show of hands

    Raise your hand if you agree that this Grzlickson tit-turd should FOAD.

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  13. #12, I agree.

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  14. on August 25, 2008 at 9:15 pm SeaFighter HSV

    Yeah, fuck Grzlickson.

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  15. Wow, I see that the insightful writing and wit that I have come to depend on from this site is well and thriving.

    Like


  16. on August 25, 2008 at 10:25 pm A show of hands

    Scott,

    Your contribution has been noted.

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  17. on August 25, 2008 at 11:46 pm Dr. Grzlickson

    Dr. G is…

    Listening to some Randy Newman.

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  18. Zeets sounds like a great guy. What are the tv’s specs?

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  19. “Me: This is gaudy. You’re rolling out with the biggest package in the place.”

    Translation? I need not say more. LMAO!

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