High-Fiving the Ex-Boyfriend

I rarely meet the ex-boyfriends of girls I date.  Considering how many ex-girlfriends or friends of ex-girlfriends I bump into in this deceptively large city, it’s a bit of good fortune that I don’t have to deal with the potential drama or awkwardness of making small talk with a man who has repeatedly penetrated the same pussy that I am penetrating.  I like to tell myself this is because I date only good girls who don’t leave a trail of used condoms and stalkers behind them, but I’m sure it has more to do with pure luck and, when we are out together, her fastidious avoidance of venues frequented by her exes.

No good can come of meeting the ex of your woman.  While you may think he’d be a wealth of inside info on the girl you have stolen from him, in reality his opinions will be so badly jaundiced by the emotional undertow of the breakup, no matter how “mutual”, that anything he says would have to be taken with a flat of salt.  This goes for positive as well as negative reviews.  If she was that great a catch why’d he leave her?  Or if she dumped him, why is he shilling for her?  Don’t expect objective analysis in these situations.

Maybe you’re the kind of guy who heard through his girlfriend that the ex-BF is really cool and so why not throw back a beer with him next time everyone’s out together?  Most guys would agree with me that while this sounds great in principle, in practice it is a recipe for clumsy conversation and weird vibes.  Women, the so-called empathetic sex, demonstrate yet again their inability to put themselves in men’s shoes when they wax poetic mental-rotation-test.gifabout how awesome it would be if the guys currently jackhammering them were friends with the guys who used to jackhammer them.  Two facts about the wiring of the male brain make it difficult for us to act normally around exes of our current girlfriends — the harem mentality and the instinct to mentally visualize every sex act as if it were an object rotation question on an IQ test.

Irrespective of who dumped whom, a man has a module buried deep in his hindbrain that compels him to treat women as property.  This urge is usually beaten out of him at an early age by civilized upbringing and by the reality that even if he were to acquire genghis-like powers to amass a gigantic lay-a-day harem of hot babes guarded by loyal eunuchs, the surrounding culture would never let him fulfill his desires.  He would have to content himself with discreet affairs and serial monogamy.  So the loss of a girlfriend, whether amicable or hostile, is always perceived as a subtraction from his harem.  Men are browbeaten to conceal this fact, but we like the idea of our past girls lingering in our orbit, forswearing all other men, and ready at the drop of a hat to service us sexually when we are in the mood for a sequel.  We especially like this when we can selfishly give nothing in return.

(Exceptions are when the ex-GF gets fat or old.  Harem University asks that you at least pass those basic admissions requirements.)

Thus, for the ex-BF, drinking beers with the man who “robbed” him of one of his concubines is an exercise in social artifice camouflaging his primal urge to steal her back.

Betas who have lost touch with their maleness wonder what all the fuss is about.  This is the kind of guy who thinks it’s male bonding if you share stories with him about how his ex-GF has to bite down on a stick when she gets her ass rogered by your herculean member.

The harem mentality explains why an ex-BF would feel uncomfortable around the new guy.  But the predisposition to visualize every single sex act in all its technicolor glory makes the ex and the usurper uncomfortable.  shower_head.jpgYou can’t help but imagine his cock thrusting and churning inside the girl who is now giving herself to you.  All the positions he put her in, all the jizzbombs he unloaded in her face.  You think to yourself not even the commando 2000 shower head could wash off every one of his man molecules from your little angel.  You wonder if his dick left an imprint on her vaginal canal.

Often, this is why, after meeting an ex-BF, you will go home and fuck your girl so hard her ovaries bounce, because this is your biology’s way of ensuring that whatever DNA he might’ve left behind is thoroughly scoured out of her.  Studies have shown that husbands returning from long business trips will deposit bigger loads of sperm in their wives, subconsciously anticipating that if another man’s sperm is in there they will surrender immediately to the larger army.

If the ex-boyfriend is not someone you like, then strutting like a rooster in his company that you are the rightful heir to his lay is worth enduring the bad mental images of him and her fucking like you and her fuck now. 


  1. You’ve just convinced every woman out there to flaunt their exes liberally – the reward being a great romp in the sack.

    I’ve noticed that a night out with my girlfriends (and without him) produces a similar result. I’ve thought that perhaps I was imagining an increase in ardor and intensity, but you’ve just made it all very clear. Although his saying, “You’re MY woman!” over and over again should have done that, I suppose.


  2. I don’t know if it’s just a male thing. There are women that like to think their exes are just waiting around, abstaining from all other women, sitting by the phone and awaiting their call.
    I don’t believe in staying friends with the exes. You can’t be friends with someone you had sex with. One of you will always be thinking about doing it again and it will just be an awkward mess. As for introducing your ex to your new sig. other…..why? Why on earth would this even need to happen?


  3. fk – it’s true. just remember to keep a steady supply of exes on call for when things cool off. your journey to the dark manipulative side is almost complete.

    mm – there are a couple of crucial differences with women. one, it’s pretty rare for a woman who dumped a guy to fantasize about him waiting around for her. they find that creepy. usually, they just want their ex to find someone new so he doesn’t bother them with midnight booty calls out of the blue. two, women imagine one ex awaiting their call. men are capable of imagining 100 exes awaiting their call. if you don’t believe me, ask yourself if you would really have sex with every one of your exes tomorrow, assuming no one would get hurt. men would. in a heartbeat. it’s in our acquisitive nature.

    re: friends w ex, in my case, it wasn’t a planned intro. she happened to be good friends with her ex and they had a lot of mutual friends. i recused myself from that scene for a while but eventually her group wanted to meet me.


  4. I think that males shy away from the thought of competing with another male for a female’s attention – an unnecessary additional expenditure in energy, once you’ve banged her, banging her again shouldn’t require too much extra effort. While females are biologically and socially conditioned to enjoy that competition – they are validated by having a partner who is wanted by other females.

    Of course there is jealousy, but an alpha male is not likely to be phased by that.


  5. harem mentality or whatever aside, nothing good can come of your girl coming into any contact with her ex. this should be obvious to every guy out there. if you’re a single dude and you meet your exGF, you have absolutely nothing to lose by trying to bone her again. i mean, why not? if you were able to trick her into doing before, it’s very possible that it could easily happen again, ‘specially depending on certain factors: alcohol? slammin sex? how is her current relationship? is she getting all jealous of you talking to other girls wherever you are? did you make a comment to make her feel insecure and now she’s hell bent on “showing you” that she doesnt need you (by boning you)? lotsa things to consider, but as a single guy, i will go out of my way to exploit the bejesus out of any and all of those things, especially if i know her current boyfriend is a douchebag.

    all guys i know think like this.

    ok, so now from the current BF’s perspective: so now you’re a guy in a routine-yet-good relationship. knowing the above info, do you really want your girl to be out in the same bar with her ex while you sit at home playing halo? didnt think so.

    as for “hanging out” with your girl’s ex, do people actually do that? the only hanging out that would happen wouild be me and my friends hanging him by his ankles over a balcony because i got some weird vibe off him.

    insecure? maybe. but there are a lot of dirtbags out there, so you have to take care.


  6. abe, it’s tied in with the gross-out factor. me and the ex-bf have shared the same pussy so there’s this bond there that neither of us would rather have. and that goes to your competition point. men not only like banging pussy, we like hoarding it too. we’d avoid competing with another male if possible (path of least resistance), but when we do have to compete, the feeling of conquering a foe is almost as good as the reward of sex.

    paully good points, especially if we’re talking about a breakup dynamic that favored the ex-bf (that is, NOT one where the ex-bf got dumped and proceeded to grovel for his girl to take him back). those are the ex-bfs i worry about because it means she still has an emotional attachment to him. that’s when his harem mentality kicks in and he’ll try to tap that ass one more time.
    yeah, like i said, i don’t make a point of “hanging out” with ex-bfs of current girlfriends, even ex-bfs who are totally harmless. it’s just too weird. though sometimes i do like to rub it in his face if the guy is a known douche.


  7. why would you “go out of my way to exploit the bejesus out of…” especially when you are out in a bar where there are lots of other women? you could instead focus on bagging something new and exciting.
    if you wanted to fuck her that much, why did you dump her?

    i’m not like that at all. when it’s done, it’s done. i could see her and act friendly, but i would not actively pursue sex again. something new is way more fun, even if you don’t get it at least you have a good time trying and sharpen your game.