Reader Mailbag

As I’ve mentioned before, if you do not want your question made public on the blog, say so specifically in your email, and I’ll send my answer to you privately. Honor among players, and all that.

Email #1

I am a senior @ Princeton.  I read your sight daily and need your help.  I am ultra-beta…and can’t get any girls as a consequence (in college!).  Need tips on how to change…I’ve read all the literature, done most of the stuff.  I just need fundamentals on becoming beta (fuck, even my e-mail address is fucking beta).

I try to act like an asshole, but that just pisses girls off and they get aggressive or storm off.  I’ve read Cajun’s stuff, but all I can manage to generate is asking beta-casual questions or acting nonchalant (which gets me zero attention…I’m not that attractive, just 5’5”).

Any words of advice?  Anything?  I could really use help…I’ve read all your archived shit, read the comments on a regular basis.  I just need fundamentals.  Where the fuck do I start?

Thanks in advance (I hope)…

-[initials withheld]

Ah, Princeton. I spent quite a few weekend nights in that leafy town prowling for smart co-eds. Birthplace of Thomas Sweets ice cream. Sir, technically an “ultra beta” is a lesser beta. Please brush up on the terminology.

Let’s get the harshness out of the way first. If you can’t get laid in college, you are going to get laid even less after you graduate as a lesser beta. Why? Because it is ridiculously easy to get laid in college, if that’s all you want. Maybe WASPy Princeton girls are especially frigid, but regardless you should consider your failure to score as a college student an unused condom in the coalmine. Troubles lie ahead.

Your attitude is very negative in this post. You remind me of a lot of beta friends I’ve known — always beating themselves up, pinning everything that goes wrong on their own stupidity or cowardice, never seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Realism is an important first step to begin your self-improvement journey to respectable womanizer, but you need to leaven realism with optimism. Your inner game will shrivel if you’re negative all the time. “Fake it till you make it” isn’t just a slogan. It works.

I just need fundamentals on becoming beta (fuck, even my e-mail address is fucking beta).

Perfect example. I’m going to demonstrate how you should have written the above to train your mind to begin thinking like an alpha.

“I just need the fundamentals on becoming a James Bond-like pickup alpha machine the girls can’t keep their hands off of (fuck, i might even change my email address so girls get wet reading it).”

See, isn’t that better? Now don’t ever soil my inbox again with your puling betabitch self-pity whines. David Alexander has that territory covered.

I try to act like an asshole, but that just pisses girls off and they get aggressive or storm off.

I’m guessing you haven’t shed your beta body language, so when you act like a pure asshole you come off incongruent. Girls hate nothing more than incongruence, because it triggers their “false alpha flag” reflex. Here’s a handy asshole chart I’ve devised to help you understand the nuances of assholery:

Asshole + Alpha + Charm = get laid like gangbusters.
Asshole + Alpha = get laid regularly.
Asshole + Beta = get laid occasionally.
Asshole + Lesser Beta = don’t get laid but win moral victory in face of rejection.
Asshole + Omega = she gets her guy friends to beat you up.
Asshole + Lesser Omega = she gets her girl friends to beat you up.

So you can see the power of assholery is somewhat relative to the sexual market value of the man. I like that you are channeling your inner asshole, but you need to get a handle on your other game skills before you start spewing insults like a bum with Tourettes. Being an asshole works best when used as an adjunct to good game.

I’ve read Cajun’s stuff, but all I can manage to generate is asking beta-casual questions or acting nonchalant (which gets me zero attention…I’m not that attractive, just 5’5”).

Cajun is excellent. I don’t believe half of the stuff I hear about pickup artists, but from what I’ve read, seen, and been told Cajun has the goods. Stop asking casual questions. If you must ask questions, make them quirky. “Do you know where I can buy an eyepatch? I just found out my grandfather was a pirate and I want to keep up the family tradition.” You get the idea. Also, acting nonchalant does you no good if you’re invisible to her. And don’t worry about your looks or height so much. Despite what many men think and what some women say, looks are not that important once you have good game. You may not get the hottest chicks, but the skills you’ll learn will allow you to bang chicks one to three points higher than you on the looks scale, which I believe is every man’s birthright and, indeed, every man’s duty. And if your height is holding you back, there’s a simple solution: Hit on girls shorter than you. There are plenty of them.

I just need fundamentals.  Where the fuck do I start?

Start with these:

Mystery Method e-book (still the Bible as far as I’m concerned)
David DeAngelo’s cocky/funny series and interviews with the gurus
Pickup 101’s Fearless First Impressions, Attraction Secrets and Art of Rapport DVDs
Stephane Hemon’s Ideagasms Squirting (you’ll eventually need this) and GTP program
The Real Social Dynamics and Stylelife internet forums
Badboy ebook and DVDs
Carlos Xuma and Zan DVDs
Robert Cialdini’s book “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion”
Robert Wright’s evospych book “The Moral Animal”
Matt Ridley’s evo book “The Red Queen”
Also, let me put in a plug for Roosh’s book Bang, which is an accessible compendium of solid game strategy.

Get out in the field while you are plowing through all that material. Don’t become a keyboard player. The first challenge you must overcome is building immunity to rejection. All else flows from that critical initial step. Immunity comes with repeated exposure. Memorize TWO solid openers, THREE negs (or pebbles, as Style calls them. I.e., “Wow, who brought their little sister to the bar?”), THREE ready-to-go lines for common shit tests you’ll get from women (“You have a BF? Great, so does my girlfriend.”), TWO value generating stories, TWO rapport building routines, and ONE venue change line (“I’m thirsty. Are you thirsty? Let’s go back to my place and sample some fine tap water.”)

I want a progress report in three months.

Email #2

Long time reader, etc, etc.

Here’s one for you; maybe even worthy of the mailbag.

I (28) just started working at a big law firm in NYC. As soon as I got there, I hit it off really well with one of the research assistants (26, carries conversations intelligently, a certain 7 and occasional 8 ) . We had a pretty flirty couple of weeks, but the firm has pretty strict rules against inter-office dating. However, she quit the firm during my second week to take a better job elsewhere, so I invited her out. One minor shit test easily passed, things are going really well, I poked the appropriate amount of fun at her flip flops, her eyes are twinkling … and I get a call that my uncle, who raised me since I was 6, has passed away. I didn’t collapse into a puddle of blubbering goo, but my eyes definitely got moist and I may have had a Michael Johnson style lone tear or two trace a path down my cheek.

She was very sympathetic when I told her the news and gave me a long, full-frontal hug before I broke it off, put a few bills down, told her that I wanted to be alone, and left. She sent me an email two days later to ask how I was doing.

Here’s the question. Normally, tearing up is anything but alpha behavior and simply ruins the prospects with the girl. Does this circumstance count as exceptional? It has been a week and I certainly would like to ask her out again, but I won’t bother if this is going to make her see me as overly sensitive and, well, a herb.

What do you think?

– P.

Lawyer chicks? Man blubbering? I have two things to say to you.

One.
Two.

Ok, three.

Seriously, though, this can only work in your favor. Stop overthinking. Unless the chick is a hardcore ballbusting nutneutering scrotesmashing alpha lawyer-wannabe bitchbot, your show of emotion under the circumstances was a turn-on for her. The only thing herby about you is worrying what she thinks of you.

Sometimes I get the feeling you guys already know the answers to your questions, but just like to write it out and email a complete stranger for a sympathy hug and three pats on the back. Paging Lemmonex

Email #3

I need some advice.  I’m probably a pretty unorthodox visitor to your blog, so this is probably an unusual question for you, but I would like your perspective.

I’m a 20-year-old girl in college.  I’ve been badly in love with a close friend K. (my age) for two years.  From time to time I’ve sort of managed to talk myself out of it, but then there I am again, alone in the evening and missing him desperately, or waiting for him to come over and then falling all over myself to carry his suitcases and fix his tea.

He hasn’t been interested. Or rather, he’s been interested in a way (we kissed twice, and once he wanted to hook up) but not interested in a relationship.  That was all right; we stayed friends.  But now he calls me all the time, and I find myself dropping everything to see him, and this is trouble.

A little bit about me: I never got any attention from guys as a teenager (I’m nice-looking enough, but I was always too shy and serious) so this is a new, strange world for me.  Suddenly I get asked out with some frequency.  And now I’m trying to get into some fiendishly competitive grad schools (math and economics) so I’m going to have very little free time.

The trouble with K. is that he’s kind of messed up – he had to leave school for a semester due to depression – and sometimes he doesn’t seem to be serious about his own future.  I know this makes me sound like a terrible person, but I’d be embarrassed to tell my friends and family about him.  I need some kind of nice, clean-cut, ambitious guy who takes me out on standard dates.  And yet I’m attracted to K., my dear friend, who’s nerdy and messy and constantly shooting himself in the foot.  Even nice girls get horny sometimes, and I have spent years restraining myself from what I’d like to do with him.

What do I do?  Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks,

S.

First, send me a jpeg, full body shot, high resolution, naked or in lacey lingerie. I’ll need this to thoroughly evaluate your, uh, character traits.

This email was sent via a Princeton edu address. What’s up with Princeton? It sounds like students from there have forgotten how the penis and vagina fit together. It’s supposed to be a school for smarties. Maybe that’s the problem.

You mentioned two things that jumped out at me. One, you haven’t had sex with him yet, and you rebuffed him the one time he tried to hook up with you. Two, you’re “nice-looking enough”, which, translated into manspeak, means you are probably a 6. Coupled with your major in math and economics, your score could even be as low as a 5. So I will now give you a rare glimpse into his mind, the mind of a man:

“She’s not putting out and she’s not hot enough for me to make any effort.”

Hold my hand, child, it gets worse.

So why is he calling you now so frequently? Ah, good question. Most of the time, when a man re-engages a woman he used to be lukewarm about, it means he is horny and lonely. Your mediocre vagina now seems a better choice than his calloused hand. Maybe he tried picking up a hotter chick and failed, so running back to you looked like a good option. You certainly have made yourself accessible to him, so there’s no real challenge for him to earn your emotional support.

Or maybe he had a revelation that he has always been in love with you and it was time to show it…….. NOT.

It is obvious to me that you like badboys. You write that K. is “nerdy and messy and constantly shooting himself in the foot” and that you have tried to talk yourself into being attracted to clean-cut nice Abercrombie boys. But those boys don’t excite you like the way K. does. K. refuses to conform. He is a rebel, a social renegade, a self-destructive energy vampire who plays by his own rules, and that autonomically moistens your muff.

Here is my advice. Stop trying to fight it. Fuck him, get it out of the way, then move on, because fucking him will not cause him to love you forever and ever. I know these types of guys. Hell, I once dabbled with playing this type of guy. They live to validate their self-esteem through others, that is why they are energy vampires turning the self-pity trick. It’s him against the world, right? And you want to save him, to join him on his path to redemption. Am I correct?

Yes, yes I am.

He thrills you because, deep down, you know your “relationship” with him is doomed. Your need for drama is perfectly complementary to his need for validation. You have to clear your mind, S., and drop the savior act. Know that nothing permanent can come of your time with him, and in that knowledge you will finally free yourself to love him with everything you have, and to savor the moments you share, without the burden of expectation.

Make love when you can, because it is good.

Yours in the Light of Lucifer.





Comments


  1. No one can save the USA anymore. When the creative energies of so many people continue to go into these kinds of pursuits instead of starting a family and raising it, then I know something is deeply wrong with that society.

    Like


  2. Old Nassau is an especially bad place for pick-up, because the network of “Dining Clubs” builds-in a static, pyramidal winner-take-all social hierarchy, with real-world billionaire money being so common (Smucker, Faber-Castell, Forbes, Siemens, Bissell, Procter, Gamble, and other brand-name heiresses–yes, heiresses, the sons of the ultra-rich don’t seem to go there, dunno why) that nerds, geeks, grinds don’t really have a chance. The taxonomy of the place is so odd that advice must be social-layer specific, for example, one must know the race of your Princetonian, where (and with whom) he eats lunch between classes, what parties (if any) he is invited to on the weekend. As a senior, probably a SWPL person, and probably NOT a member of any dining club, his best bet is to play “Our World” with a nerdy, cute, unshaven drama- or hippie-chick, cocking an alpha-a$$hole snook at the pretentious upper classes. “Horses for courses” is a really good rule at a small, socially-divided 4000-student college, and scholarship chicks like sex as much as any others.

    Like


  3. on October 3, 2008 at 5:28 pm ironrailsironweights

    his best bet is to play “Our World” with a nerdy, cute, unshaven drama- or hippie-chick

    Excellent advice!!!
    In particular, the “unshaven” part.

    Peter

    Like


  4. I’m not 100% convinced reader #3 didn’t sleep with K. Her email is full of that Orwellian doublespeak that chicks do when they try to get around explicitly saying they slept with someone and try to use omission and vagueness rather than outright lying to give the impression there was no sex.

    Like


  5. Now don’t ever soil my inbox again with your puling betabitch self-pity whines. David Alexander has that territory covered.

    Damn straight I do! 🙂

    Maybe WASPy Princeton girls are especially frigid

    If you’re not too anti-prole, there’s a lovely prole state university further up US 1 that’s supposedly filled with easy girls. If you don’t have a car, there’s always New Jersey Transit…

    Like


  6. DA, you talking about SUNY Brockport?

    Like


  7. on October 3, 2008 at 5:57 pm anonymous_coward

    Interesting. I am a Pton student myself – too bad I don’t seem to recognize any of the people mentioned.

    Like


  8. Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey. The main New Brunswick campus is about 15 minutes north from Princeton, and only one stop north of Princeton Junction on New Jersey Transit…

    Like


  9. on October 3, 2008 at 5:59 pm anonymous_coward

    6: No, I’m pretty sure he means Rutgers. But beware the 25% STD rate.

    Like


  10. What?! Princeton, the birthplace of Thomas Sweets…for real?! Come to think of it, Pupu did detect, on her first taste of the coconut ice cream, and later, of the dark chocolate ice cream, a raw, nerdy, explosive, orgasmic quality to the bite, like the music blustering out of the hands of a child prodigy.

    Like


  11. on October 3, 2008 at 6:18 pm anonymous_coward

    I really don’t know how to characterize pton in terms of Roissy’s interests, but here’s two points that may not be obvious for the general reader:

    1. It’s politically liberal, of course, being a university, but social dynamics are actually rather conservative. Hookup culture exists on “the Street” – a row of “eating clubs” (upperclass dining halls by day, frat houses by night) but even there it’s restricted to a few clubs and is generally considered disreputable. People who partake of said culture are pretty universally considered “sketchy”, showing that Victorian-style moralism isn’t dead but simply dresses itself in different clothes. Neither is steady dating terribly common – it happens, but is the exception rather than the rule. So there’s less rutting going on than one might think. Your third reader is thus not very anomalous.

    2. It’s not anonymous. 4000 is already pretty small, but the student body is further bisected along a number of lines – the bluebloods generally hang together, the races self-segregate, and premeds, humanities types, ibankers (until recently), and so on all form their own groups in which everyone has vaguely heard of everyone else. The “eating clubs” further divide upperclassmen from underclassmen, to the dismay of upperclass guys like myself. Furthermore, the college pretty much *is* the town, there is no significant number of young people from any other source, and the few bars in town are frequented by the SWPL or yuppie set, not students. This means that your first reader will have problems practicing game, unlike in an urban environment where there is good anonymity.

    Like


  12. Female Psychology 101:

    “A romance novel is the story of a man and a woman who, while they’re solving a problem that threatens to keep them apart, discover that the love they feel for each other is the sort that comes along only once in a lifetime; this discovery leads to a permanent commitment and a happy ending.”

    Like


  13. Pupu, with finely honed literary skill:

    Pupu did detect, on her first taste of the coconut ice cream, and later, of the dark chocolate ice cream, a raw, nerdy, explosive, orgasmic quality to the bite, like the music blustering out of the hands of a child prodigy.

    And Pupu claims that Pupu cannot articulate her thoughts well? Pupu dissembles, methinks. Always with the dissemble, our Pupu, our Oracle, our enigmatic ever-elusive Voice of the Gods.

    Like


  14. S, just fuck him. Roissy is right. You want to. It will eventually happen. No need torturing yourself.

    Just don’t convince yourself he likes you. He doesn’t.

    Bad boys are a double edged swords. Us late bloomers love them because they offer us an excitement we didn’t have when we were in our bedrooms, studying, and feeling like social outcasts. But the thing is? A lot of times they are just fucking bad news.

    Like


  15. Czar, when you get a chance, please check the Great Depression thread, posts 225-231, and holla back.

    Thanks

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  16. Hey Roissy, your Lemmonex friend up there is kinda cute. How old is she? How much does….well, you know the drill.

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  17. Lemmonex 14–

    Great advice.

    I had very similar thoughts. She’s considerably more likely to listen to you. She sounds a nicely blooming sweetie btw, looks permitting. As I hope they do.

    (I was thinking a certain paperperson for a bit until Rossy threw in that edu addy, but that and his numbers might have been to put me & co. off the scent. No mas.)

    Like


  18. DA 8 —

    Well DUH.

    Like


  19. Doug, are you a NYC Metro Area resident? I’d figure that the DC-centric audience would need the reference explained…

    Like


  20. http://www.gnxp.com/blog/2007/04/intercourse-and-intelligence.php

    This might have something to do withwhat’s wrong with princeton people.

    Their high IQ means both guys and gals lack in testosteron and hence the whole bunch are undersexed pussies.

    Like


  21. Princeton girl,

    No, don’t have sex with him!

    Instead, wait for a nice guy to come along to whom you’re attracted. Take the nice guy to meet your parents, fall in love with him, and only then have sex with him.

    You are young. You have time.

    Like


  22. #21: I agree. Princeton girl’s ego seems to be a bit fragile. Someone like that is a poor match for a seasoned bad boy who sounds like a standard Artful Dodger (my own phrase for a certain kind of bad boy).

    There are “nice guys” with just enough game to make them sexually attractive and interesting. She should try to hold out for one.

    Clio

    Like


  23. blahblah 20–

    A whole lot of hooking up among smarties went on at Stanford I can tell you that. A whole lot.

    But …. there is something to the majors chart in that GNXP link of yours.

    I would link it to nerdiness rather than IQ per se.

    Of course EVERYONE who’s been to college knows the math and science major guys get less action than the poly sci, psych and history types. Not having enough time to party properly is part of it I suppose, but only part.

    If your leading goals in life are to i) score hot chicks; 2) lead men in Something Important; and 3) make money, what are you going to major in? What will your immediate post college career choice be, or be between?

    Now, how do you tell an alpha from a beta again — if we restrict that question to men smart enough to get into an elite college?

    Like


  24. Instead, wait for a nice guy to come along to whom you’re attracted. Take the nice guy to meet your parents, fall in love with him, and only then have sex with him.

    Back in reality, where this never happens…

    And if a guy is beta enough to go along with that, he’s probably so sexually frustrated that you’re just about torturing him. (Or maybe I’m just forgetting what I was like before I started going to the gym. Strength training definitely gets the T pumping.)

    the DC-centric audience

    Bah, not *all* of us here are DC/NYC folks…

    For the record, I applied to Princeton, but they rejected me. I guess I wasn’t blue-blooded enough. Harvard, on the other hand, accepted me. (No, didn’t go there.)

    Like


  25. There are “nice guys” with just enough game to make them sexually attractive and interesting. She should try to hold out for one.

    I get the feeling this girl doesn’t have the sexual market value to attract a better prospect.

    Like


  26. DF 25 —

    I get the feeling this girl doesn’t have the sexual market value to attract a better prospect.

    No. Rather a religiously derived world view that greatly amplifies the typical (but not universal) female preference for commitment first sex, and makes it an absolute pre-requisite, without which nothing good is possible.

    That’s fine but myself I think it should come with some labeling. Esp. in precincts such as this, where the assumption is likely to be otherwise.

    Like


  27. there is something to the majors chart in that GNXP link of yours.

    There is just one bit I don’t buy. What is with computer science in that chart? It should be right up there with math. I don’t get it. I am a software guy by trade and I know lots of software guys. Then again, it’s slightly fishy that these numbers were done at an all-girls school, and if they got a “0%” then I immediately suspect that the numbers are fishy due to sample sizes. I mean, 40% could be 2/5, and those 83%’s could easily have been 5/6’s.

    A whole lot of hooking up among smarties went on at Stanford I can tell you that. A whole lot.

    You a Stanford alum Doug?

    From the article:

    only 65% of MIT graduate students have had sex.

    Wow.

    while 95% of US men and 70% of women masturbate, this number is only 68% of men and 20% of women at MIT!

    OK, the “68%” here set off my bullshit detector. That possibly can’t be true… can it?

    I simply cannot fathom the idea that any guy physically capable of it would not masturbate unless he was getting laid fairly regularly.

    Like


  28. Zorgon 27 —

    Yuup. I confess.

    Like


  29. No need to be ashamed. I went to MIT and think I would have gotten a better education had I gone to Stanford. 🙂

    I know a bunch of Stanford types, although they’re all obsessed with the Bay Area and would never follow me out here to the land of female plenty and politically conservative sanity that is Texas.

    Like


  30. 15 – Look, I do not want you to feel like you put in so much effort in vain. But I just don’t think it makes much sense to go on discussing whether or not astrology works.

    It’s not an issue of “game” (and hence should be buried here). It is not an issue of the “community”. I am a scientist by profession, and due to my training any anecdotal evidence is nothing more than story telling.

    If a birth chart suggests vague things such as “health problems”, “weight problems”, “family problems”, it will work. I’d say that more than 90% of people on this board feel like they have one of these issues – at least if minor things such as acid reflux count as a health problem or a family living out of town is a family issue.

    The reason the community may be dismissive is that they are aware of these things by first hand experience. take the text I posted on the Forer effect and go read it to a woman – any woman – and she will be amazed about your cold reading skills. We all want to be unique beings, but there are certain things we all share. It’s fascinating in its own right.

    I agree with you that Evolutionary Psychology needs more scrutiny. It is a very young science and dangerously close to pseudo-scientific story-telling. What’s more convincing, though, are empirical studies showing social proof and esrtus being crucial factors in female’s assessment of male attractiveness.

    There is increasing scientific backup for common community knowledge – whether or not the EvoPsy explanations hold up or not:

    Pre-selection:
    BC Jones, LM DeBruine, AC Little, RP Burriss & DR Feinberg (2007).
    Social transmission of face preferences among humans. Proceedings of
    the Royal Society of London B, 274: 899-903.
    (http://www.bristollair.com/inner-game/understanding/social-
    proof.html)

    Menstrual cycle and preference for masculinity:

    AC Little, BC Jones & RP Burriss (2007). Preferences for masculinity
    in male bodies change across the menstrual cycle. Hormones and
    Behavior, 52: 633-639.
    LLM Welling, BC Jones & LM DeBruine (2008). Sex drive is positively
    associated with women’s preferences for sexual dimorphism in men’s and
    women’s faces. Personality and Individual Differences, 44(1):
    161-170.
    AC Little, DL Cohen, BC Jones & J Belsky (2007). Human preferences for
    facial masculinity change with relationship type and environmental
    harshness. Behavioral Ecology and Sociobiology, 61(6): 967-973.
    Roney JR, Simmons ZL.Women’s estradiol predicts preference for facial
    cues of men’s testosterone.
    Horm Behav. 2007 Sep 20

    Women say they want a certain type of guy and then sleep with another:

    Buston PM, Emlen ST. Cognitive processes underlying human mate choice:
    The relationship between self-perception and mate preference in
    Western society.
    Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2003 Jul 22;100(15):8805-10.

    Like


  31. 24 – Instead, wait for a nice guy to come along to whom you’re attracted. Take the nice guy to meet your parents, fall in love with him, and only then have sex with him.

    Back in reality, where this never happens…

    Oh, there are plenty of guys willing to do the “friendship first” thing. It is just that they are penis-less to women.

    A woman once told me it takes seconds for a guy to fall in love and six months for a girl.

    And she needs plenty of good sex during that period in order to fall in love. Plenty of it.

    Women WANT the romance novel plot. They NEED something entirely different.

    Romance for women can be best described as a mixture of what’s described in “Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women” and “My Secret Garden”.

    Like


  32. Zorgon 29 —

    the land of female plenty … that is Texas

    I’ve never had much opportunity to sample down there, but that’s what I’ve always rather imagined. You dog.

    Like


  33. No. Rather a religiously derived world view that greatly amplifies the typical (but not universal) female preference for commitment first sex, and makes it an absolute pre-requisite, without which nothing good is possible.

    That’s fine but myself I think it should come with some labeling. Esp. in precincts such as this, where the assumption is likely to be otherwise.

    dougjnn #26, What.The.Fuck? A coherent comment would have been fine but you couldn’t help yourself could you.

    Like


  34. on October 3, 2008 at 8:29 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    “Hit on girls shorter than you. There are plenty of them.”

    The other approach for short guys is to walk up to the freaky-tall girl who no one looks at say say “So, you wanna get married? I alwasy wanted to have tall kids!”

    Done right this works. You have to make it an opening line and say it like it just came to you with some hint of raised-eyebrown sexual suggestion.

    Then you have to follow it up with real conversation — remembering that you and this girl have been on the margins of society for years and actually have a lot in common. So if she takes the bait you have to go from shallow smartass to Mr. Sensitive in a sec. Be prepared.

    Like


  35. DF 33 —

    dougjnn #26, What.The.Fuck?

    What the fuck re: what the fuck? What the fuck are you goin on about?

    And what’s all this about coherence? Could you be a little?

    Like


  36. Hi Czar,
    I find it interesting that a man who has commited his life to Science demurrs from any kind of serious investigation w/an astrologer who has taught the subject at the university level. Instead you seem to be satisfied, on the basis of a series of computer generated-“canned”-reports of your horoscope, and studies done by scientists who probably know less about the matter than you do.

    All in all I’ve invested, including my time writing about the general subject, what, two hours? And w/the exception of my mini-analysis last night-w/o the aid of a computer, mind you-everything else was done on “company time”. So I didn’t even lose any money in the effort (the aforementioned mini-analysis, “part two” I did in roughly 15 minutes, right before going to bed).

    The distinct pattern that I run into, with those who consider themselves scientists, is that they are very quick to denounce something w/o even applying the most basic of their own tenets, which is first and foremost, investigation. Now, I can respect, and accept, you or anyone else simply not being into and/or having a “beef” w/astrology on the most subjective of grounds. Everything ain’t for everybody, and I’ve never been one to convert folks. That ain’t my steez.

    But if one is going to have an argument against something under the rubric of rational thought and evidentary record, then it seems odd that they so often don’t evidence enough understanding of the matter w/which to form an even somewhat intelligent critique.

    Few astrologers I personally know put much if any creedence into the Sun Sign columns one reads; and again, as the Humanist Magazine “attack” by 175 scientists, including Bok, on astrology shows, most of them simply do not know what they’re talking about to critique well. What are they hiding? What are they afraid of? Why do they take any time at all to address, in the most vociferous language possible at times, something that obstensibly is utter BS?

    I think to ask the question is to answer it.

    For all the handwringing and mudslinging, scientists have as much effect in ridding the world of astrology as they had 500 years ago. I suppose the old saying is true, that academics argue so much because the stakes are so low.

    My major beef w/certain voices in the Game Community is their rank intellectual dishonesty; they denounce something on the very grounds that others denounce the fundament of Game itself, Evo-Psych. A trained academic and scientist such as yourself should have serious problems w/this cognitive dissonance alone.

    Moreover, I can produce evidence that the planets do have at least some correlations and even effects on human affairs. There are the studies in the Czech Republic wrt fertility and so on. There are the studies of Gauquelin. And there are the studies carried out by Carl Jung, just to name a few. Btw, one of the studies you mentioned, about women’s mate selection choices per her monthly cycle, remains far from “settled law” and is hotly debated in various scientific quarters.

    Again, let me be clear. I think there is a great deal to be said about Evo-Psych. It is a theory that makes a heck of a lot of sense, even if there isn’t that firm a foundation, “hard” scientifically speaking, to back it up.

    Nor do I have a problem w/Game, to the extent that it gives men the tools they need to date and yes, bed women. I think its way past time that men had some help in this regard, and clearly, its something we all have an interest in; it may be corny, but Love truly does make the World go ’round. Even, it appears, for scientists.

    What I do have a problem with, are certain people within the community who not only take a derisive view of something that has a documented track record of existence in virtually every culture in the history of human beings, denounces it on the flimsiest of investigation let alone evidence, and then has the nerve to use its appeal to women in order to have sex w/them. If there are those in the community who are concerned w/the charges made by some that Gamers are less than honest w/their potential targets, or just less than honest in general, the current issue under examination, “Chick Crack”/Astrology, doesn’t do a lot to assuage any fears or concerns, and is one heck of a case in point.

    “No investigation, no right to speak”
    – Chairman Mao

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  37. The guy who wrote the second letter should cut his losses if the lawyer chic has anything to say about him crying a bit. It’s not like he was crying because someone told him to screw hisself, he was crying because his uncle passed away.

    Like


  38. @Days of Broken Arrows- Some tall women like short men. I have a friend who is about 5’6 who does really well with women 5’10+. He is a natural alpha and very nice body thought.

    Like


  39. the amount of sex going on at college is vastly overestimated:

    ” A study published in the Journal of College Health in 2005 surveyed undergrads from four college campuses during the spring and summer of 1999. The study found that over 80 percent of respondents had one or fewer sexual partners during the previous year. The 2004 University of Arizona Health and Wellness Survey of their student body found that 73 percent had one or fewer sexual partners. A 2001 study of students at Princeton University found that 79.3 percent of respondents had one or fewer sexual partners.”


    “Another interesting finding is that students in the Princeton study and in the study of four undergrad campuses believed their fellow students had many more partners during the past year than the studies revealed. This shows that our perceptions (or fantasies) of what’s happening between the sheets on campus are much more risqué than the actual details.”

    http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0607.html

    http://www.acha-ncha.org/data/SEXF06.html

    Like


  40. 36 – What I do have a problem with, are certain people within the community … denounce it on the flimsiest of investigation let alone evidence, and then has the nerve to use its appeal to women in order to have sex w/them.

    Amen to that.

    Even from a goal oriented perspective this is something to stay away from. Any kind of dishonesty will work against you when dealing with women, who are natural experts in deception and its detection.

    Actually, a large part of the community learned that lesson (see “coherence” and “identity”).

    Mystery’s chick crack consists of MP3 lossy encoding and google earth. I had college drop outs stalking me around the bar after telling them about science for 20 minutes straight. Anything you are passionate about will work since it stirs up her emotions. If you can link it to a women’s eternal quest of self finding – even better, but it is not at all necessary. Astrology will work for you, it won’t for me.

    Concerning my position on astrology – I am always open for discussion. I just don’t think this is the right forum to do so.

    It is not ignorance or prejudice. Scientists are interested in these topics. Any hard evidence for unknown (esoteric) forces to exist would win the fucking Nobel Prize.

    Like


  41. S.

    I will gladly fuck you if you are feeling frustrated.

    Lemmonex: you are hot.

    Like


  42. Patrick, Pupu does not elude where her senses go 🙂
    __________________
    S.,
    Like Lemmy (14), Pupu has a few words to say about us, late bloomers. Pupu’s advice to you is conditional on your sexual experience. To put it bluntly: if you are a virgin, Pupu seconds Clio’s advice (22); if not, Lemmy’s. To have your first sex with someone you are so attracted to, and on the other hand, also so doomed is not a good idea. Statistically, it sets a bad Bayesian prior for your later experience to overcome. It is not worth it. You would be better off doing it with someone you care less for, if only to find out what your emotional tolerance is for such things. Your email suggests that you are starting to bloom. You should not have trouble finding someone less lethal than K to give the thing a try. On the other hand, if you have tried and survived emotionally just fine, then go ahead and have fun and pain with K.

    Like


  43. DBA 34-
    LOL. Not a bad idea, though I cannot speak from experience; never tried such a pickup line.

    But what I can say is that as a man of 5’8″, as I think back on it, only a handful of the women I’ve dealt with were actually shorter than myself. One in particular was under 5′. The remainder was either my height, or taller than me.

    I’ve had at least five women who were at or near 6′ tall barefoot, one of who was double jointed.;) Beautiful thighs…

    I think there’s something to the idea of stepping to the tall gals. Lots of guys, short and tall alike, tend to be somewhat intimidated by em. Not me. I like a challenge.

    Plus, you gotta turn a “negative” into a positive. One of my big selling points was that I’m low enough to the ground to get everything below the waist, if you know what I mean; plus, unlike those Sumo-sized dudes, I don’t break the bed down, and don’t eat a lot, so I’m real economical. Saying things like that has gotten me dates and more. A lot more.

    *Sly grin*

    Btw, Roissy, excellent post as per usual sir. Your checklist reminds me of one of my all time fave rap songs, “The Ten Crack Commandments” by The Notorious B.I.G. Perhaps you’ve heard it?

    You really must write a book someday.

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  44. 5’5″ homeboy: build your confidence with 4’10” Asian girls. They will fuck you and it will be surprisingly good considering they don’t have asses. There’s plenty of them at Princeton. Hit me up for details on specifics with sleeping with Asian girls, but I’d go for them in this ethnic order:

    1. Thai (easy. hot. sluts.)
    2. Korean (adventurous, all want to sleep with at least 1 white guy before marrying a fellow countryman)
    3. Vietnamese (hot. open to gringos)
    4. Chinese (numerous. not as open to gringos.)
    5. Japanese (annoying and not as hot)

    Asian girls are the Wendy’s of the sex marketplace. Sure, it’s fast food. But dammit, it’s good fast food.

    Like


  45. ^^^^WOW

    What a way to make Asian women feel like di*k wipes.

    Like


  46. ^^^^WOW 😯

    What a way to make Asian women feel like di*k wipes.

    Like


  47. Asian girls are the Wendy’s of the sex marketplace. Sure, it’s fast food. But dammit, it’s good fast food.

    I thought Asian girls were the Asian food of the sex marketplace. It’s fast food, it’s good fast food, but your horny again an hour later.

    what about filipino girls. i heard a lot of gringos rave about them. i was never into them much personally.

    Like


  48. dchero 44–

    This one is begging for some detailed Hope analysis!! 😉

    I can’t wait!

    Like


  49. dchero 44 —

    ARE there any Thai girls here that haven’t been, umm, purpose imported? Where dey at?

    Like


  50. Czar,
    Truce. We agree on a central point, that you don’t have to lie in order to be a Playa. In fact, it is the ultimate in Alphaness, insofar as I’m concerned, to be open about yours.

    I have never, ever, lied to a woman about what I was about. They knew from the get go that they weren’t the only one in orbit, and of course, they had the right to go elsewhere if they chose. Some did. Many didn’t.

    LOL. Strangely enough, I’ve only actually discussed astrology w/a handful of women I was dealing with over the years, and that was only because they had more than a passing interest in the subject; in other words, they were astrologers themselves. Otherwise, I never discussed it, not because of fear or shame, etc, but simply because it never came up.

    Having said that though, I HAVE used astrology as an adjunct in my “hunting trips”. To great effect, I might add.

    And, no, I never asked anyone what their Sign was. Other methods were deployed, often unbeknownst to the people in question. Nothing dishonest, just noting the astrological weather, so to speak, and making the best use of it.

    My only reason for discussing astrology as much as I have, was because Whiskey brought the topic up along the lines wev been hashing out for sometime now. This is on the Great Depression thread. Just wanted to note that fact.

    As for women wanting to believe, be seduced and the like, I don’t deny any of it. What I would challenge, vociferously, is the notion that they have the lock on these desires. Men have them just as much, and I would argue in some ways, much moreso. So much of Game could be circumvented by merely going to a Ho. Hardcore Gamers, and even Game Acolytes, don’t, because they’re seeking a degree of seduction, too.

    As for the honesty/dishonesty angle, I suppose my stance on it, puts me more in the Direct Game camp. Sagittarians are world reknown for being blunt, often brutally so. And besides, I simply never acquired the patience for all the cloak and dagger stuff that guys like Roissy are expert at. Not hatin’ mind you, I’m just sayin’.

    OK, holla back

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  51. Good blog post.

    Like


  52. Lemmonex: you are hot.

    Beautiful? Yes.
    Hot? Definitely
    Sexually attractive? Eh, that’s in the eye of the beholder.

    But what I can say is that as a man of 5′8″, as I think back on it, only a handful of the women I’ve dealt with were actually shorter than myself.

    I’m in the same height range, and admittedly, the idea of dating a female that’s taller than me is rather scary and somewhat threatening to my masculinity, and a certain part of me feels that the taller girl will cheat on me with a taller (and better) guy. The last thing one wants is people pointing out the “freak” couple where the man is shorter than the woman…

    Like


  53. This one is begging for some detailed Hope analysis!!

    Not really. DCHero’s got an Asian thing. The more Asian love the better, I say. I am reminded of a certain girl on the SWPL blog bragging about how she is a hot Latina on the Asian girls thread (which is still among the most popular one there).

    Chicnoir, men like to objectify women. It is what they do, so don’t be shocked. There is enormous difference in how we perceive ourselves and how men perceive us. Just laugh. Look at the world through irony.

    When you shift your perspective around and look at the same thing again, you may find something different.

    Like


  54. Dave A,
    Recall the gal I said was double jointed? Well, when we used to go out people thought I was her cousin, younger brother, etc. And, keep in mind, I was several years older than her (I’m told that I look younger than my age).

    Trust me, when you’re horizontal, all the size stuff goes out the window. The parts fit just fine.

    Oh, and as for your remarks about Princeton and Rutgers: I know the area you speak of well. And I happen to know quite a few grads from Rutgers, who grew up all their lives in the boonies. They’d take serious offence at you calling em Proles.

    Rutgers is a good place for you to actually apply all the sage wisdom you’ve gotten here. Lots of White gals that aren’t too hard to snatch up, should be your speed. I have faith in you Dave, and do you know why? Because, deep down, I just know that there’s a Playa, fighting to get out! LOL!

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  55. I don’t have enough personal experience to say, but frm observation I have seen Asians date Black men. But a distinction, an important one I think, needs to be made…

    My observations give me the impression that “mainstream Asians” like Chinese, Korean and Japanese don’t seem to be w/Black men as much as the more Southeast variety. Filipinas, Cambodians, Laotians and Thais, I’ve seen involved w/Brothas quite a bit. In fact I know a guy I used to work with, his wife is Cambodian and at the time, they had at least one child together.

    Aside from a gal I dated years back who was part Filipina, I haven’t dated anyone else of Asian background. But if I were to do so again, I think it would most likely be from the Southeast, particularly Laotian/Cambodian or perhaps Filipina, because of their figures, which are close enough to a Sista to get the job done. On average, I’m simply not sexually attracted to the mainland Asian gals. Way too thin for me.

    And in fairness, I think the feeling’s mutual, not just for me personally, but in terms of groups. Brothas are known for…certain things, which some Asian women may find problematic.

    I can completely see the attraction btw Asian women and White men and have no problem w/it in the least, more power to em. Its a good match, because Asian women are seen as the epitome in some ways, at least in the eyes of White men, of feminity. And from the Asian female POV, White males are the top of the status heap.

    Perhaps Hope has some thoughts to share on my analysis and observations?

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  56. Korean (adventurous, all want to sleep with at least 1 white guy before marrying a fellow countryman)

    It’s as though you were reading my yet-unwritten autobiography. When stationed in Korea in the service, I dated a Korean girl. Gorgeous.

    At one point I said something airy about “not being ready for commitment” etc., and she told me point-blank, in that awkward but perfectly-schooled English diction that she wants to marry a Korean man but always wanted “to have an adventure with a handsome White man.”

    Japanese (annoying and not as hot)

    My overall observation is that the most beautiful outliers of East Asian women are Japanese, but Korean women are the best looking on average. Yo can walk for days in Seoul before seeing an unattractive woman under 24 or so.

    Chinese (numerous. …

    Perhaps Hope may answer this. Why are the ChiComs still doing the one-child policy? Have they no foresight? I thought they were nationalistic.

    I understand that overpopulation causes poverty and unrest, but at this point, they are creating a population implosion. Surely, they are smart enough to see it. Why aren’t they thinking like Arabs, “breed and export the suplus to the West.”?

    Or to the de-populating Siberia…

    Like


  57. Trust me, when you’re horizontal, all the size stuff goes out the window. The parts fit just fine.

    Obviously, that portion works out, but when you’re holding her, there’s something very masculine about towering over her and holding her closely. There was a five inch height differential between me and the Canadian Mistress, and I just loved being taller than her and able to overpower her. It was certain a boost to my little ego. 🙂

    They’d take serious offence at you calling em Proles.

    I’ve never considered myself middle class, so I’m quite fond of the world prole to describe people like myself who didn’t grow up poor, but didn’t grow up in a “proper middle class” family. In the context of comparing Rutgers and Princeton, Rutgers can be considered the “prole” school when compared to Princeton, but in reality, it hosts a wide range of students from varying backgrounds.

    BTW, as for my connections to Rutgers, I have one railfan friend who attends, and is still a virgin, and another friend who graduated three years ago, and became a “player” when his sweetheart girlfriend cheated on him with some older “bad boy”. Mind you, his underlying personality was compatible with making that transition. Now he’s a de facto alpha with dates on every night, and the women having no problem with this arrangement.

    Lots of White gals that aren’t too hard to snatch up, should be your speed.

    Funny joke, dude. It’s not going to happen. 🙂

    Filipinas, Cambodians, Laotians and Thais, I’ve seen involved w/Brothas quite a bit.

    Anecdote Zone: My 5’2 younger brother was involved in a three year relationship with a Filipina. Dad didn’t approve, but the mom seemed to like my younger brother. My brother is Asian crazy, but so far, he’s had no luck in getting a girl to say yes to a date, and he’s way more normal, confident, and outgoing when compared to me.

    Like


  58. Ricky Raw (awesome name btw): Filipina girls are smoking hot, but I don’t put them in the same group as Asian girls because the classic Asian tactics don’t work on them. For example, they’re not forced to play a classical musical instrument as youths, which is not truly Asian. I view them as half-ers, which is pretty close to their true Asian identity.

    And for the record it’s been 10 months for me without Asian sex. I think I finally understand smokers when they talk about quitting. It’s not that you can’t quit, it’s whether quitting is worth it to begin with.

    Like


  59. Why aren’t they thinking like Arabs, “breed and export the suplus to the West.”?

    China doesn’t want to go through the expense of breeding, raising, and training workers who will end up moving overseas. It’s a waste of resources. The Arabs in contrast have minimal resource investment and no plans for economic growth, so they can get away with it.

    Like


  60. China doesn’t want to go through the expense of breeding, raising, and training workers who will end up moving overseas. It’s a waste of resources.

    I wonder if that’s all there is to it. It seems that if you let people have thier kids, but don’t necessarily invest too much into training, you have a next generation that can settle the much-coveted Siberia, or have the manpower to sustain an army?

    Interestingly, many East-Central European countries are re-evaluating their funding of university education, being that the best and the brightest often move to the West, after enjoying all that free tuition.

    Like


  61. you have a next generation that can settle the much-coveted Siberia, or have the manpower to sustain an army?

    Interestingly, some have argued that China may become war averse due to parents fearing the loss of their only child. Regardless, while the Chinese military has nothing but upward growth ahead, the large population pool of China ensures that despite having single child families, there will be enough children to be drafted in case of the breakout of a large scale war. In turn, the heavy resources per each child ensures well-fed and well-educated potential soldiers. Also, an army is no longer simply just measured by the strength of its numbers, but by it’s ability to maintain logistics and make the best use of its equipment. One million starving men are no match for B-52s, F-16s, and the Nimitz-class carrier. China would receive far better returns by investments into military R&D than by feeding more children.

    Regardless, China isn’t stupid enough to invade Siberia, lest it wants a perpetual war with the blood thirsty “savages” of the European world…

    Interestingly, many East-Central European countries are re-evaluating their funding of university education, being that the best and the brightest often move to the West, after enjoying all that free tuition.

    I suspect that charging tuition will only increase the desire to move out of the nation to recoup the costs of paying for an university education, and it leaves poorer students without an ability to easily attend university. Instead of worrying about paying for their schooling, it makes far more sense to increase economic opportunities to reduce the incentive to leave. As an example, my cousins in Haiti are trained as teachers and engineers, but they’re looking for the first opportunity to get out of the country legally as anywhere is better than Haiti for most Haitians.

    Interestingly, while the US worries if it chases away imported talent, other Western nations worry about losing talent to other nations. Canada as an example worries about the loss of STEM majors and medical specialists to the US where R&D budgets are higher and incomes are just generally higher.

    Like


  62. on October 4, 2008 at 3:09 am ironrailsironweights

    @ DCHero 44 –

    Another good thing about Korean women is that they are said to prefer to remain in their natural state. In fact, natural hair growth being somewhat sparse given their racial background, some actually resort to surgical hair transplants!

    If I weren’t married I’d be on the next plane to Seoul.

    Peter

    Like


  63. Robert Cialdini’s book “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion”
    Robert Wright’s evospych book “The Moral Animal”
    Matt Ridley’s evo book “The Red Queen”

    How about a future blog post on an Alpha Male’s library? Unless reading too many books or educating oneself too much is considered beta.

    I’d add The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius for starters.

    Like


  64. Two things for #3:

    1. Just get drunk with K., either at his place or yours or a bar near one of the two, and just put the moves on him. Honestly, for any halfway decent-looking college girl, getting laid is jokingly easy (especially with a guy with whom you already have some sexual tension).

    2. If this K. guy is all emo-depressive and shit, he might not really be what you need. Believe me, I know a thing or two about the econ-math grad school rat race. The last thing you need when you’re stressed out or depressed is a depressive boyfriend.

    Hope this helps,

    -Math Major

    Like


  65. on October 4, 2008 at 6:16 am Days of Broken Arrows

    David Alexander said: “I’m in the same height range, and admittedly, the idea of dating a female that’s taller than me is rather scary…”

    We’re not talking dating, David. We’re trying to help Princeton Boy get laid at a party.

    And as for #43, Mu’Min, my above line is really only for women 5’10” and taller not moderately tall women (listen up, Princeton Boy).

    Moderately tall women are actually more difficult for short guys to date or hook up with than very tall ones. The medium ones hold out for a tall guy while the very tall ones often give up on that or stop giving a f*ck what people think. This doesn’t apply to every one of couse, but I found as a generalization that the taller the women, the more leeway short guys have.

    Like


  66. Carl Sagan 64,
    Excellent idea, I was thinking the same thing. For a master is strong in Body & Mind. I would add The Prince to the reading list.

    Does anyone have any other “suggested further reading” ideas?

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  67. David A,
    *Sigh* Do you not listen to anything Roissy, I and others say?

    Always with you what cannot be done. I have never, ever, encountered anyone, male or female, who has an excuse, rationale, reason, caveat or quirk as to why you can’t do this, can’t do that, can’t do the other.

    Size matters not. All throughout these many discussions, Roissy and others have been making the case that women are basically the same; yes, there are some important permutations, but for the most part, Game is fairly universal.

    And an essential part of Game is in realizing that You are the One, Dave. There is no difference between a woman standing 4’11” and one standing 6′ in stocking feet. The only difference is in your mind. They both want the same things and will respond, instinctually, to the same things.

    You, Dave, are full of self-doubt and fear, and women, especially, can smell that a mile away. Roissy is 100% correct about getting over the fear of rejection, fear of even making a mistake. This is what I have learned, although indirectly in my years in all kinds of sales jobs. I learned to have have even more fun w/the “No’s” than the “Yes’s”.

    You claim to be a hopeless case Dave, but I see right through you. You are a reguler here of some standing, and by Roissy’s own admission, you fill his mailbox. This is why I say, that deep down inside there’s a Playa, fighting to get out in you Dave. If you were truly hopeless, you wouldn’t even be here.

    Fear is what holds you back Dave, not looks, or height, or what kind of job you have or education. I’ve seen guys just comin’ out of the joint pulling some serious dimes-and for all your protestations and hangups w/Black women I know for a fact that you’d be first in line if any of those big booty gals these Ghetto Alphas are pulling if any one of them bent over and cracked a smile. You have infinitely more going for you than these dudes, yet they getting it in on the regular, and you on the other hand, are, well, getting the hand. Yours.

    Roissy did someone like you a HUGE favor-yet again-in posting this thread. Why? Just listen to two of the guys who wrote him.

    One goes to Princeton!-arguably the cream of the crop of the Ivy League. One would think that fact alone, being able to go to a school that costs, per year, more than most Americans make in a year, enough to give some serious confidence, and it DOESN’T. Dude is in the same boat as you, a guy who’s going to community college.

    The other guy? He’s working in Big Law, not even 30 years old. Should be able to write his own ticket, and he can’t get it together. Now don’t get me wrong, as one who’s lost both parents rather early on, I can relate to his sheddng a tear for his peeps. But still, he wouldn’t have written Roissy if he was getting some anyway. He ain’t.

    Two guys, and we can reasonably assume that they’re White and taller than you, who have a lot more going on in life than you, and they in the EXACT SAME PLACE AS YOU. Now, I ask you Dave, objectively speaking, who is really messed up here? You, or them?

    You bedda recognize, Dave.

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  68. Re: Masturbating at MIT

    “OK, the “68%” here set off my bullshit detector. That possibly can’t be true… can it?”

    I think it can be true that a lot of guys doesn’t masturbate.

    Sex drive isn’t as immutable as we’d like to think, and there are plenty of conditions where it’s just plain shut off. Lots of psychiatric medicines achieve this, and even untreated depression can do the same. And if you’re at MIT, don’t meet any women, haven’t got laid and don’t expect to, you have plenty to be depressed about. Those are just examples, I’m sure there are plenty of more ways a guy could lose his sex drive.

    I’d also be willing to bet that guys with low testosterone are a lot more sensitive to things like this than for instance athletes.

    Still 2/3 of the population sounds way too high.

    Like


  69. Hi, I’m S. herself.

    Roissy, you were wrong on this one. Since I wrote you my (ill-advised?) request for help, K. and I are now dating, crazy about each other, and never been happier. I was wrong about thinking he was self-destructive; as it turns out, some bad personal stuff happened to him last year that he never told me about, and he had every reason to be unhappy. Now he’s much different. Bright, kind, strong. I never dreamed anything could be this good.

    This site is a guilty pleasure for me, and occasionally hilarious, but you folks should know that sometimes real life is very different from Roissyland.

    Thanks, commenters, for your advice.

    Lemmonex: no, I’m not going to “just fuck him.” I’m too old-fashioned for that. Making out is pretty wonderful, on the other hand.

    as: He is a nice guy to whom I’m attracted, and if things work out I will introduce him to my parents.

    clio: thanks for your concern. I think we’re basically on the same page with this stuff.

    zorgon: I hope I’m not torturing the guy. Give and take is key here.

    df: I’m a young girl, I’m in good shape, I think I’ll do all right. Right now I’m very happy with the guy I’ve got.

    dougjnn: you’re about right. Most college guys will go for the drunk and uninhibited girls. As far as I’m concerned, they can go their way and I’ll go mine.

    MM: thanks. I know it’s jokingly easy: slowing it down is the hard part. Thanks for the advice; I don’t think he’ll get messed up again, but if he does I’ll think about breaking it off. I do have too much other stuff on my plate for that.

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  70. Zeets and I are getting adjusted to life in Asia. He crafted a yurt out of animal skins by skinning them off with his teeth. It’s comfortable enough, but there is no mall and no Burger King in the vicinity. I think we’d both be game for fielding more questions if you’re swamped. Forward to the Yurt.

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  71. “Statistically, it sets a bad Bayesian prior for your later experience to overcome.”

    When I read this site, the question that always runs through my head is “are these men oversimplifying the way women tick, or am I not the typical woman?” Then I read Clio, Hope, Elizabeth, or the delightful Pupu and I decide that the sort of woman who reads Roissy’s site rather than jezebel.com might just qualify as a statistical outlier.

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  72. Astra & S.,
    S, I’m glad that things appear to be looking up for you, but I’m not sure that invalidates Roissy’s insights wholly, and here I turn to Astra’s points about “oversimplifying” women.

    Astra’s mention of Clio, Elizabeth, Hope and so on-all women whom I consider to be highly intelligent no doubt-I think makes the point, Roissy’s, all the moreso.
    That women no matter where they fall in the hiearchy of life, still respond to certain “cues” in their brain, and this goes back to the basis of Game, which is Evolutionary Psychology, which Czar and I were recently discussing. In fact, an excellent case in point here is my discussion w/Elizabeth, on astrology. Now, she and I have only interacted here for a brief time, and I’ve observed her for just a bit longer than that; yet I could clearly see that astrology talk aside, she comes accross as a rather taciturn person. Polite, very knowledgeable, but that “shield” is up, I don’t think she even be aware of it.

    But when astrology came up, I could see that shield fall away. And while I’ve made my views on certain voices of the Seducation Community very clear wrt their take on astrology and the use of if to woo women, Elizabeth provided a case in point example of what Gamers say, that “chick crack” works. I’m a witness, and so is everyone here reading this forum in as many days. If your goal is to do that which works, it is hard to deny what Elizabeth demonstrated. I certainly can’t.

    Hope is yet another example of a keen mind in a womanly frame, yet is very much susceptible to what Roissy calls the Crimson Arts. By her own admission and testimony she found herself in a “torrid” affair that led eventually to marriage, w/a man who by all accounts, and certainly her own mom’s estimation, should not have even been in the running as one of Hope’s suitors, let alone the winner of the race. But, here she is, and there they are, together. Against all rules of logic and reason.

    I don’t know Clio as well as the aforementioned two, so its hard for me to say much about her from that angle at this point. But what I can say is, that like the other ladies here, there’s something about Roissy’s comments that touches her deeply, otherwise she wouldn’t be here, wouldn’t remain, wouldn’t post. It kinda reminds me of the old saying, who you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?

    Now, so far as I’m aware, Elizabeth, Hope, Clio, Chic Noir, Lemmonex, Leena, they’re all as “different” as they come, in size, shape, color, lifestyle, educational level, etc. Yet they all have one thing in common, for sure. They are all are members, quite visable and vocal ones, of this venue. And that says something to me, something most profound.

    And that “something” is not lost on me either.

    Women aren’t as different as we may to believe. The more I look around, the more I’m seeing this.

    Hmm…

    Salaam
    Mu

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  73. S.

    Perhaps you wont let him fuck you yet but you should at least allow yourself the pleasures of receiving oral sex. If he does not know how to do that I will be glad to sub for him. And that way you can still remain a nice, old fashioned girl, until the right guy comes along to fuck your brains out and release your inner sexual animal.

    And the fact that you reading Roissy shows that you have this hidden, inner slut that you eager to get in touch with. Why else would you be reading a blog devoted to the art of fucking as many women as possible. The thought of you experiencing that world, at least once in your life, is a little intriguing, is it not?

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  74. If that first e-mail is indicative of the writing capabilities of Princeton students, then explain to me why it is considered Ivy League?

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  75. roissy

    He thrills you because, deep down, you know your “relationship” with him is doomed. Your need for drama is perfectly complementary to his need for validation. You have to clear your mind, S., and drop the savior act. Know that nothing permanent can come of your time with him, and in that knowledge you will finally free yourself to love him with everything you have, and to savor the moments you share, without the burden of expectation.

    You’re an idiot!!

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  76. D 74-
    D makes a strong point wrt what I call a woman’s “Ho Side”-and EVERY WOMAN HAS IT. As NFL great Jim Brown once said, its the duty of every man to bring that side out of a woman; and you can be sure, the more they talk about being a “good girl”, the more you can be certain that the Ho is alive and well within.

    This is why some of the freakiest women alive are in the front pew on Sunday morning, don’t even get it twisted. I think D might’ve struck a raw nerve.

    Salaam
    Mu

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  77. […] 4, 2008 by roissy In yersterday’s Reader Mailbag, I gave my unassailable advice to reader S. She has responded to it in the comments. Hi, I’m […]

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  78. Somehow, I feel the need to respond to you Mu…

    Always with you what cannot be done.

    I’m simply being realistic about the world.

    And an essential part of Game is in realizing that You are the One, Dave.

    There is no “One” my friend. There are men who are compatible with Game and those who aren’t for various reasons. For some it may conflict with their religious values, for others it doesn’t flow with their native personality, and for others, they’re just too socially awkward for some reason or another. Just as being me wouldn’t work for you, being you wouldn’t work for me.

    You, Dave, are full of self-doubt and fear, and women, especially, can smell that a mile away.

    Actually, you’d be pleasantly surprised at how well one can fake happiness and confidence and paper-over such self-doubt and fear. When I was suicidal, nobody had any idea about how I felt unless I took the time to reveal my feelings.

    If you were truly hopeless, you wouldn’t even be here.

    Actually, I’m here for the attention and the conversation. Plus, it’s a great way to suck up time and have fun without spending much money.

    Fear is what holds you back Dave, not looks, or height, or what kind of job you have or education.

    One would be pleasantly surprised at that. One’s job and education certain affects one’s financial status, and it can provide a boost to one’s ego knowing that they’re equal with people in a higher class, and that they can look down upon other people. Admittedly, that feeling is much stronger than any orgasm.

    I know for a fact that you’d be first in line if any of those big booty gals these Ghetto Alphas are pulling if any one of them bent over and cracked a smile.

    Given how paranoid I am, if I knew those girls were with ex-cons, I’d be very, very hesitant about having sex with them, lest one contract an STD.

    Dude is in the same boat as you, a guy who’s going to community college.

    He’s much better off since he goes to Princeton, and in the future, his income and wealth will easily with dwarf mine with less effort on his part.

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  79. *Sigh* Yes, I know, I know. Mu is something of a glutton for punishment.

    OK.

    I had expected all that you said, Dave. Even when you can see the evidence right in front of your face.

    Let me cue you into something Dave-not out of theory, but out of my own, if I’m lying I’m flying experience. Women by and large really don’t give a damn if you went to Temple or UPenn, or whatever equivalents there are out there. What most women care about is that you are self-supporting, preferrably w/a degree comfort. As Roissy and others have said again, and again, and again, women in our time support themselves. So a guy going to Princeton, at a time when more and more women are going to university anyway, don’t mean what it used to.

    Moreover, I can promise you that the guys, anyone of them, who I work with on the line is getting far and away more ass, and better quality of ass, than the vast majority of guys coming out of Princeton, MIT, Stanford, UPenn, you name it. In fact, my buddy Ricky had to breakup a fight between thre of the gals he was bangin’, and I know for a fact it was true, because I was a witness when the ish hit the fan at a party he invited me to in Aug. My other buddy, keep in mind, we all work together now, who happens to be Puerto Rican, has at least two women always after him, one of whom flies in from the island every month or so to re-up on the Good Wood.

    True, making money definitely helps, but again, as Roissy demonstrates again and again, it isn’t hardly decisive in whether you get laid or not. What you’re saying got played out in the last century.

    And Roissy says something that’s very true, fake till you make it is real. And even for brutal truth tellers like me, its hard to deny the fact that we all do this in just about every sphere of our lives at one point or another.

    Now, sure, you can’t be me, or anyone else…but you can adapt certain hings to yourself. For example, take the “canned” lines Roissy quotes above. When I was in m sales days, we got the same things, and the important thing I will always, always remember hearing at a sales conference was one of the top salesmen in the country saying, that you can’t say stuff they way other people say it, because people will know right off the bat that it ain’t you; you gotta say it the way YOU would say it. That means you gotta practice, Dave. Just like anything else in life. Start out in the mirror (btw the mirror exercise Roissy mentioned is highly instructive), start out w/just one line. One. Do it till you feel comfortable w/it, saying it in your own way, till it becomes natural to you. Don’t try to say it the way Mu or whoever says it.

    Oh, and something else, about the whole “feeling masculine” thing w/a shorter woman? Having dated and bedded both, much shorter women and much taller women, what made me feel like the Master of the Universe wasn’t holding em. It was when I was taking command from the back! LOL. And believe me, there’s no difference in that regard.

    And I don’t believe you about this stuff about getting attention, Dave. Fear not. We’re gonna make a man out of you yet!

    LOL

    Salaam
    Mu

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  80. David: Mu is right. Speaking from personal experience: having a degree from a fancy school will not get you women. Nor will having a bunch of money. Plenty of guys with little to no education or money have been at least an order of magnitude more successful than I have been with women. (Of course, I am working to change that.)

    Now, Game is not the *only* thing that will help with women. For example: I got Lasik a few years back, and that immediately got me more female interest by taking me from “that really dorky guy” to “that kind of dorky guy.” 🙂 Unfortunately, in the absence of Game on my part, that increased interest did not exactly translate into results.

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  81. Mu’Min, some recommended titles:

    The Autobiography of Malcolm X – my political philosophy of choice is about the opposite of his, but his brilliance is obvious. Malcolm X was supremely aware, both of himself and of what he had to do to get what he wanted.

    Pimp, by Iceberg Slim. Search therawness’s website for his discussion of Iceberg Slim.

    Art of Seduction and 48 laws of power – rather general, but the writing is excellent, and I can’t help but feel they moves one’s mind into the Machiavellian mold.

    ‘The Book of the Courtier’ may be of use, describing the ideal man. Less compelling than the above books though.

    Anyone with other books along these lines? I’m going to check out ‘Meditations.’

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  82. 73 Mu’Min —

    A lot of good points.

    In the end what Roissy does around here most of all is rather simple. First let me say he does some other things. He does supply a fair amount of step by step, here’s what to do in this scenario, game advice — with pop quizes. He makes social commentary. He snipes at various aspects of feminism.

    But what Roissy does most of all is explain and thoroughly demystify the nature of female sexual attraction to males in it various actual, as opposed to pretended or false, variations. This involves a lot of debunking. It involves some socking extreme examples, such as the great attraction a lot more than a few women feel to horrific outlaws and killers. It involves relentless debunking by skewering their pretend preference for nice guys, or strong and accomplished winner guys who are nice guys, which they themselves usually more or less believe. And so on.

    In the end what he teaches isn’t so complicated. it’s quite a lot more complicated than what men are most attracted to in women (looks pure and simple, almost universally agreed to until one gets to really fine strokes) but not ineffable mystery. (Well he’ll give sexiness at most a point out of ten also, but usually much less.)

    So that’s the core draw. The real biggie.

    Roissy does a damn good job of showing both men AND women what women are actually most sexually attracted to in men. He also starts along the road of showing men how to develop, unleash and show more of that side of themselves, which has been so pruned back by, wait for it, yes indeed, *American feminism* as propagated (esp. to white guys, the real targets) in families, schools and the media.

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  83. The theory behind the high-end degree is that it will boost my ego, and provide the wages needed to maximize my income and wealth needed to enjoy my life and wield some bit of “superiority” over others*. The side benefit is that it would secure “high ranking women” for long-term marriage. In other words, it’s not the women that are important, but the social and financial benefits that a degree from a fancy school provides. In other words, Mu may get women, but I’ll be the somebody that people will kiss up to not because I can threaten them, but they revere me due to a modern-day version of the divine right of kings, and that’s worth far more than a cheap orgasm.

    *Which conflicts with my egalitarian “treat everybody equally” bias left by grandmother and various other prole sensibilities…

    What most women care about is that you are self-supporting

    I’d argue that currently, I am not self-supporting…

    I got Lasik a few years back

    I love my glasses. I’ll never go Lasik or use contacts like the sell-outs. 🙂

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  84. Hi Dave,
    OK, let’s break this down.

    First off, I can promise you that I can go farther in life, do more things, get more stuff, and bang more women, all up and down the foodchain, White, Black, Hispanic, and yea, even Asian if I put my mind to it, than you ever could just relying on a degree from a fancy school that cost your family’s house to afford. And that’s not theory, because you have more college education than I do right now, and if we were to compare our records at your age, it wouldn’t even be close. Wanna talk about influence and being a leader? You can’t learn that in school, Dave, wakeup and get with the program. The whole lot of, as Roissy calls em, “Herbs” coming out of “leadership” schools like UPenn and the rest of it can’t hold some of the brothas and LKs in the hood’s jocks. And you definitely NOT see anything close to what Roissy and others like him are putting down here and elsewhere on the Web. And that goes for Princeton type Herbs, too. If I were them, I’d seriously contemplate getting my money back.

    Dave, I done had more high achieving, high earning women than a little bit, academics, legal eagle types, corporate ladder climbers, you name it. And so has my buddy Zam, and I can promise you we are not alone. In fact I’d lay good strong odds that many guys reading this can and probably will stand up and testify to what I’m saying here, and truth be told, quite a few ladies reading this can speak on it, too. What your problem is, as Doug just spoke to, is that you done went and gone for the Okey Doke. And we gotta try and un-Okey Doke you, LOL!

    “Cheap Orgasm”? Speak for yourself, son. For Mu, there ain’t NOTHIN’ better in this world, than finishing up a Marvin Gaye-style Throwdown by busting a mighty, pulsating, ropey nut fired accross the bow of the beauty of your choice.

    You’re starting to run out of excuses, Dave. Any further questions or comments? The night is young.

    😉

    Salaam
    Mu

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  85. I would recommend Lasik even for people who wear contacts or who like their glasses, purely out of day-to-day convenience (forget appearance entirely). There’s just no understating how much more convenient it is to not have to worry about being able to see. This is especially true if you like outdoor activities.

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  86. Mu’min, I’ve never denied that Roissy’s words resonate with me. When I first started reading this site (because he linked to me and his readers were showing up on my sitemeter), I was a bit horrified by the grossness of the language, and from time to time by its unnecessary nastiness, but I saw that it contained some lessons I needed to learn. If I’d learned them earlier I might not have made such a mess of my so-called “love” life. That doesn’t mean that I like or agree with everything he says about women.

    Meanwhile, it’s probably true that nearly all the women who read this blog regularly are outliers in one way or another; we do have that in common. But we don’t necessarily have that much in common with other women, nor with each other aside from that “outlier” thing. Sara and I are a good deal older than Hope, Elizabeth, Lemmonex, or Chic Noir, for example. I’m much more conservative than any of them. Lemmonex is a straight-up feminist. Eliz. is a kind of libertarian. Chic Noir and Hope belong to no political category that I recognise. We’ve all led rather different lives, too.

    Clio

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  87. Madam Clio,
    First off, glad to “formally” meet you, though we’ve briefly spoken to each other before. And unlike Roissy and Gannon, I won’t hold your age against you; indeed, I think there’s something to be said for a more mature lady.

    The first paragraph of yours pretty much eliminates the need for the second, w/all due respect. My point, in light of the additional info you provided, is made even stronger, and would do well for David our Resident Padawan Learner to heed it well: women are much, much more alike than they are different.

    Please, by all means, do not be a stranger. Its always good to meet another nice lady.

    Salaam
    Mu

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  88. On board with Mu’Min 85:

    Cheap orgasms are the best kind. Expensive orgasms are just that, expensive. Cheap just means low-cost, and to me, with my penis and my Y-chromosome and my general inability to not be male, the cheaper the orgasm the happier the boy.

    And there’s no orgasm more intense, more pleasurable than one that takes place deep inside a hot, wet receptive pussy. Not even cumming from a great blow job drains your love sacs with quite the wringing-out completeness of a good hot fuck orgasm.

    And the cheap ones of those are the best of all.

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  89. Patrick, dear, when you say “cheap,” do you mean per orgasm, per diem or based on life-time cost/value? 😉

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  90. To Pat The Canadian,
    Tru dat, sir. Tru dat.

    I think we may be making progress w/Dave A. Whatcha think?

    Salaam
    Mu

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  91. Pupu,
    I know you directed your query to Patrick, but if I may, I think he’s right in pointing out how relatively inexpensive it is for a man to bust one accross the bow. The average man generates about 14 gallons of jizz juice over the course of a lifetime, a high functioning Alpha, perhaps 20 or more.

    That’s just from a biological standpoint. I don’t think that’s what Dave meant, though.

    At any rate, keep that in mind when next you hear the phrase “blue balls”; Man was made to Bust the Maximum amount of Nuts, make no mistake about it nor get it twisted.

    😉

    Salaam
    Mu

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  92. Mr. Mu,

    Pupu can perfectly see the value of maximizing output. Pupu’s original question was related to how the price is perceived when the output is delivered over time. It is much easier to tell whether a milk girl is a good value or not if a man throws out 20 gallons of jizz in one go. But the trouble is that no man could or would do that. Then the question becomes how to tell the cheap ones from the pricy ones.

    BTW, Pupu is Sagittarius too 🙂

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  93. 89 PatrickH

    Cheap orgasms are the best kind

    Do you know of any other kind?

    Mu

    “Cheap Orgasm”? Speak for yourself, son. For Mu, there ain’t NOTHIN’ better in this world, than finishing up a Marvin Gaye-style Throwdown by busting a mighty, pulsating, ropey nut fired accross the bow of the beauty of your choice.

    Wow.

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  94. 93 Pupu:

    BTW, Pupu is Sagittarius too

    Yum.

    Do happen to do any kind of teaching, Pupu?

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  95. Sara I 94-
    Hey Sara, nice to meet ya LOL. Now c’mon, don’t front…y’all gals love to see a man go Mount St. Helens, don’t you? Tell the truth now and shame the devil. Its been my experience, which some would consider is formidable, that they most certainly enjoy it.

    Wow, indeed.

    Holla back

    Salaam
    Mu

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  96. Yes, I can see that. And what a good job you do of it my dear.

    You might want to checkout the thread next door. There’s a post w/your name on it.

    And you haven’t answered my question; I didn’t ask you if you enjoyed a “sweaty, shameless fuck”, I asked if you liked to see a man pop like Mount St. Helens. I didn’t stutter.

    Don’t make me wait too long, now…

    Do I really want you to holla back? Abso-f*ckin’-lutely.

    Salaam
    Mu

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  97. Yes, Tupac, Pupu has taught puppies how to fetch and cuddle.

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  98. In response to the utterance of Her, the Oracle, Pupu, 90:

    Oracle, a “cheap” orgasm is only cheap if “lifetime” does not enter into the event at all. “Cheap” is of the moment, not of a lifetime, nay, not even of a day. Neither lifetime, nor per diem.

    Just here. Just now.
    Just this. Kapow.

    So what then is a cheap orgasm? How do you calculate cheap when it comes to cumming?

    O Pupu, cheap is when you fall asleep right after bustinizing your nutolas all over her insides, and when you awaken from your blissful cotton batton dreams…she is gone.

    No need for follow-up phone calls. No commitments. No promises. No more time, energy or attention than you might choose to give her. Or not.

    That, O Oracle, O Pupu, O Nerd Who Writes Like a Goddess, that is a cheap orgasm. Prostitutes can make a comfortable living providing men with just that kind of cheap.

    So…cheap can be expensive. But in the end, it’s worth it.

    Is that a lifetime cost/value calculation?

    I leave that to our Ever-Smiling Evanescent Number-Crunching Mouthpiece of the Gods to determine.

    Awaiting your calculation,
    Patrick

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  99. Patrick,

    A high five (in exchange for a Kapow) from Pupu!

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  100. And a kiss, if you agree to sell the copyright of the following:

    Just here. Just now.
    Just this. Kapow.

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  101. Patrick my good man, wiser words in response to Madam Pupu could not have been spoken. Kapow, indeed!

    And thanks for kind words of encouragement on my Impossible Mission; methinks I will need it! LOL!

    Salaam
    Mu

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  102. Sold to Pupu.

    And I am holding you to that kiss. Pucker up!

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  103. To Mu, who expressed faith in the mutability of David Alexander:

    Mu, you are a man of adamantine optimism. Should David A (whom I like a great deal) move from the shabby corner of Plato’s Cave in which he has situated himself so firmly, then the move will be For The Ages. They will sing the Lay of David A in frat houses, at Stylelife Seminars, at Hugh Hefner’s funeral. Sarah Palin will sing it, winking through her tears of joy.

    David A could have many many many beautiful women, should he choose. If you succeed in helping him achieve that goal, you will have become far more than a mere astrologer, Mu. You, Mu’Min and no other, will have accomplished what lesser men thought impossible. You will have transformed mere lead into purest gold. You will have gotten David Alexander well and truly laid.

    From that day on, you, Mu’Min, will no longer be called a mere astrologer. You will have become an Alchemist.

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  104. “If you can’t get laid in college, you are going to get laid even less after you graduate as a lesser beta.”

    You can’t assume this at all. Granted it’s true a lot of the time, but there are occasionally guys who do mature and learn what actually works during their 20s. This happened with me; I was naive and passive in college (which led to missing out on every opportunity I had.) Once I grew up and became more aware as I hit my mid/late 20s , I was able to enjoy the success that I didn’t in college.

    Plus, I think it’s an especially bad message to send for the reader who sent you that e-mail. If he assumes that he just HAS to start getting girls right away in college, then he’s that much more likely to be unable to hide the sexually needy tendencies (especially since he’s already such a self-described beta to begin with)

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