Tourette’s Game

This is hilarious. An emailer links to a video of Tourette’s Guy, with the following note:

Tourette’s game. This is up there with $2 big towels.

lol yeah I remember $2 big towel guy. Girls sends him an epic post-argument love letter, and he replies “JC penny have 2$ big towels” (garnished with the requisite insouciant anti-grammer). The astute reader will note that the girl did not say she broke up with him after that. In fact, she sounded rather proud of him. Wanted to show him off to her social media girlfriends.

How is there such a thing as Tourette’s Game?, the naive newb asks. TG is real because it’s the purest form of outcome independent, ZFG attitude you will see in a man. Take supplication and appeasement and sappy romanticism, and do the opposite. That’s the M.O. of $2 Big Towel Boyfriend and Tourette’s Guy. Distilled Uncaring Asshole Game.

Bonus vid: More Tourette’s Guy hilarity, plus a cameo by Santa Claus aka Tourette’s Guy’s Dad.

Tourette’s Game examples:

Girl: Where do you see us going?

Tourette’s In Bed: Does this look like the ass of a man who knows where this is going?! *moons her*


Girl: I love you.

Tourette’s In Bed: I could shit a better sentiment!


Girl: You never listen.

Tourette’s In Bed: Oh, fuck me!


Girl: Are you dating anyone right now?

Tourette’s In Bed: What is this?! Shit load of personal questions day??


Girl: I have a boyfriend.

Tourette’s In Bed: *leans toward her face* You got some shit on your nose. Little piece of shit right there on the end of it.


Girl: I can’t make Wednesday. Maybe we could try Friday?

Tourette’s In Bed: Bitch!

PS Is it wrong to laugh at a son taunting his Tourette’s Syndrome suffering father?


  1. What, say, would be the expected trajectory from “uncaring asshole game” to “angry incel outcome?”


  2. OT, but this is hilarious:

    Liked by 1 person

  3. […] Tourette’s Game […]


  4. on October 26, 2018 at 10:44 am Sauerkraut Sannich



  5. on October 26, 2018 at 10:54 am William of Orange County

    Girl: I don’t like how distant you are post-coitus…

    Tourette’s In Bed: Fuck! Ass!

    Girl: But we just did?

    Tourette’s In Bed: Bitch! I rule you!

    (What a charmer)


  6. Fake Tourette’s.

    Just an A-hole.

    [CH: lesson remains unchanged.]


  7. on October 26, 2018 at 12:04 pm Yer Lil' Buddy

    My favorite ZFG conversation I’ve heard in the last year was like this.

    Setting: Bar. Early evening. Two hot chicks who came in together gabbing and drinking. Some semi-arrogant looking Cad seated a couple of seats down.

    Dude moves over to the seat next to the hotter chick and starts chatting her up. Just standard goofy shit, keeping her laughing. Eventually he says “Hey, let’s bounce” She replies:

    Her: “No, I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend”
    Him: (not even a second and half pause) “I have a math test”.
    Her: “What?”
    Him: “I have a math test.”
    Her: “You have a math test? What is that supposed to mean?”
    Him: “Oh, I thought we were talking about things we can cheat on”

    The shocked look followed by a sly smile that hit her face over the course of 2 seconds was priceless. I don’t know what they talked about after that, but they kept talking, only more quietly and close, face to face, face to ear, etc. My assumption; win.

    Liked by 2 people

    • on October 26, 2018 at 9:01 pm Macro Investor

      Brilliant. The only time I’ve come close to that kind of ZFG was when I wasn’t very into a chick.

      On one such occasion I kissed a girl, then she started an ASD story about how she “never does this” on a first date. Funny thing is as she was telling the story I was taking her clothes off. So by the end of the story she was naked on my bed. Win.


  8. Funny, but just not my style. Couldn’t pull it off, and wouldn’t particularly want to, actually. 😉

    [CH: this was a semi-serious post. although, if you had to choose, tourette’s game beats niceguy game seven ways to sunday]


    • Oh, sure, niceguy game is an abomination. 100% on board with that.

      No doubt this could be pulled off by the right personality type as well. Just remarking that wandering around mooning people and such isn’t something I could personally live up to. I can only admire and salute at a distance. 😉


  9. If it is wrong to laugh at a son taunting his Tourette’s Syndrome suffering father, I don’t ant to be right.


  10. Yea no this is glorious. Half the folk round here are like that (the rest are waur’). Our own media star is John fae Gala. Sound laddie, jannie at the school. Telly personality and all.
    “John’s not Mad”. That was his first media blitzkreig.'s_Not_Mad
    Personally I think he should be our post-Brexit ambassador to the rump of the EU. Argue that, Barnier ya wee hoor!


  11. Here you go.

    Even posh english girls get smelly and wide for Oor Jock
    He’s actually a very decent and brave (and hideously strong) man that I would aye stand in the line wi’ (on account of him being able to rip the heids aff of englishmen two at a time, and another by the throat).


  12. Wow sounds like our home.

    Wife: – talking about some inane coworker bullshit – ” and then, after not checking with me, she changed the whole schedule”
    Me: “typical – she’s a fat useless cunt “

    Wife: getting hysterical about something trivial
    Me: “ off for fucks sakes – calm down”

    And…for many years my response to any of her ridiculous accusations/statements has always been “ oh fuck me”
    Guess I was practicing Tourrettes Game without even knowing.


  13. This is fake, not funny…socially retarded. No CH, I can’t see acting like a retard working for very long……


  14. how the hell can that tourettes guy have a goddamn son. Women will fuck any thing that has the air of ZFG.