Going All In Or Cashing Out

A reader laments:

I met this incredibly cute girl who really did it for me and we’ve been dating for four months. But lately I’ve felt less and less like having sex with her. She still looks great but my thoughts wander to hooking up with other women I see every day. I’ve even been having sex dreams about ex’s. Has this happened to you? I don’t want to break up with her because she might be the best I can get at the moment, but my horniness for her is disappearing.

This is the classic relationship conundrum that all men experience — whether to go all in for a shot at the big pot, or cash out of the dating market altogether and settle into a life of comfortable ennui with one’s respectable winnings. Two endogenous factors will influence a man to one or the other choice: the number and sensitivity of his dopamine receptors, and his ability to pick up equally hot or hotter girls within a reasonable time frame. Two exogenous factors will also exert influence over his decision: the hotness of his current girlfriend, and the number of available potential replacements within his milieu.

A thrill-seeking man with tight game and a track record of fulfilling his desires who is currently dating below his level in a region filled with single beautiful women will be very difficult to corral into a monogamous relationship by any but the hottest girls. Strong cultural stigma and peer pressure, coupled with a 9 or a 10 on his arm, are the only counterweights capable of restraining his impulses. Men like these types are the reason why women rush their newly-minted alpha hubbies out to the bland suburbs where he won’t be tempted by a daily farmer’s market of juicy, ripe fruit for the plucking, and where his energy and focus will be spent paying off the McMansion mortgage.

A tentative man with no game and few past lovers of any note who is currently dating at or above his level in a region bereft of single beautiful women will be loath to leave such an arrangement. Strong cultural stigma and peer pressure are not needed for him to remain monogamous, except when he gets dumped and needs a kick in the ass to begin meeting new women. Men like these types are happy to run to the suburbs, to get their wives away from the roving alpha males.

The four factors are important, but it is the man’s skill with women and the hotness of his girlfriend which will most determine his likelihood to stick with her for a long time. In fact, a girlfriend’s hotness alone is an amazingly accurate predictor of how quickly the average man will grow bored of sex with her (if he is honest with himself).

GF’s hotness          Time to boredom
0                         0 seconds
1                          0.1 seconds
2                          0.5 seconds
3                          1.1 seconds
4                          15 seconds
5                          5 minutes (this is very much an exponential plot)
6                          3 weeks
7                          6 months
8                          2 years
9                          5 years
10                        10 years to never

Ladies, do you have trouble pulling your man away from video games to share passionate intimacy with you? Might want to look in the mirror. The fault, dear Beatrice, lies not in the stars (or in self-medicating thoughts that his plumbing is failing), but in you.

Now growing bored with girlfriend sex is not the same as running off to find new pussy. Many men make the sensible and quite logical calculation, based on a confluence of the factors listed above, that the risk of a long dry spell in the field is not worth the loss of tepid schtupping on the regular, no matter how rote it has become. And many of these men go on to lead lives of quiet resignation that their days of lackluster sex will follow them to the grave. It is this fear of the hopeless, grinding dry spell that keeps many ugly couples together, and breeding their ugliness into future generations.

There is also a vicious feedback loop that exacerbates the tendency of successful womanizers to continue their pump and dump ways. If the average man who is used to no better than 5s or 6s hooks up with a 7, he will be happy for quite a while with her IF his self-conception remains static. Yet, what will we likely see? His ego will grow in lockstep with the improving looks of his conquests, thus spurring him to greater challenges. Men who see sudden improvements to their game and consequently, their meet to lay ratio, are usually the most imprudent at relationship management, because their egos carry them perpetually forward searching for hotter girls until their limits are reached. The worst LTR prospect for a woman is the man new to game; he is a world of pain waiting for her. The best LTR prospects for women would be quasi-virginal men who have not had the beta beaten into them, or established players who are happy with their record of accomplishment and ready to slow down.

So… to go all in or cash out? Remember, there is a real risk that years of loneliness or regret are your fate should you jettison your devoted but familiar lover for the excitement of fresh meat. That in mind, I can only offer these words of wisdom:

You will get bored of sex with every girl you date/love/marry. The only question is how soon.

No girl can completely satisfy you. As soon as you meet such a girl, your standards will shift upward. This is the nature of your humanity.

You should go all in at least once in your life. You’d be surprised what you can achieve under duress.

Relatedly, you should not use one big winning from going all in to justify going all in all the time. That is the newb’s curse, and it will vex you in time. Sometimes, you do find that great girl, and the upside of gaining fresher pussy isn’t worth the downside of losing loving pussy.

If your game is good, throw your chips around like a whale. But always be open to the possibility of a final hand.

If your game is really good….. MLTR!

God bless!

PS Sex dreams featuring exes are pretty common for men. We have a tendency to fondly remember with rose-colored glasses the best of our exes while conveniently shunting aside the shit that drove us crazy. Coupled with our harem drive, it’s no wonder our brains fire off nighttime visions of multiple lovers past and present. That is why men will rarely have “love dreams” of former girlfriends. Fuck, I can recall the vulvas of at least five exes with more clarity than I can their faces.





Comments


  1. Never get married unless the bitch wears a collar and cannot move without your say so.

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  2. “Fuck, I can recall the vulvas of at least five exes with more clarity than I can their faces”

    Now THAT is funny!

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  3. Of course, there also is a quantifiable “latent period” between the last time you banged a girl and the next time you are really interested in doing so again. Inversely related to hotness. Just maintain that latent period and you’ll never get tired of her.

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  4. on December 20, 2010 at 4:03 pm (r)Evolutionary

    Yep. It’s an exponential curve alright.

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  5. “Fuck, I can recall the vulvas of at least five exes with more clarity than I can their faces.”

    So true!

    As for the reader’s conundrum, if I were in his situation I’d keep going with that girlfriend. You said yourself that she really did it for you so … well, it would be a pity to leave that despite the small problem with sex. But don’t take that as an excuse to settle into the beta state where she will grow bored of YOU instead.

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  6. I know R is waiting for someone to compliment his vocabulary but the charts are one of my favorite things.

    Of course, since a 10 is fleeting, the 10 years to never guesstimate is likely an asymptote cause a 10 will never last longer than 10 years. See e.g., the Porizkova hotness curve.

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  7. Why is this an either/or problem? Keep the cute girlfriend AND do the other girls too. Discretely.

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  8. Damn it, meant “discreetly”.

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  9. This guy sounds like a younger version of Sidewinder.

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  10. Did I hear…. EXPONENTIAL CURVES?

    Trying to do an exp fit on that failed miserably, but the equation was about y=0.00007e^3.3x

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  11. That 10 would end up being a 5 after 10 years unless you force her on the treadmill. 10a require a lot of work. Unless you’re middle aged with good income, stay off the LTR with 10s

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  12. on December 20, 2010 at 4:35 pm Vincent Ignatius

    If you really like a girl, but need variety, just game far away from home. The risk of losing that loving pussy is too high to risk on girls she might find out about. Fuck girls when you’re away on business. Many businessmen grow bored of their wives, but don’t want to risk an affair, so they just fuck escorts when they’re out of town on business.

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  13. You guys beat me to it. This doesn’t have to be an either/or problem. What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her, etc.

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  14. vincent said it right. keep it on the road – what happens in (anywhere else) stays there. cause no hurt for any reason to your own family. allow no other permanent attachments to form. That said, the sky’s the limit.

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  15. back with a vengeance

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  16. To add to the “not an either/or” thread, it should also be pointed out that stepping can have the impact of revitalizing your interest in #1. I’ve not pondered why this is the case, but everytime I’ve wandered it produced the secondary effect of refiring my sexual interest in the main girl I was with.

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  17. Umm, “dating for four months”. Where do wives and family come into this?

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  18. Editor,

    While it is true that the choice to leave the LTR could result in short term loneliness, it is also true that it can be a lifetime of loneliness if you choose to stay with the wrong person.

    And because you will grow tired of banging the girl, even if an 8 or 9, it is very important that you connect mentally and emotionally with the girl during those fun times. Even the 10s turn into grey cougars eventually. You have to enjoy talking with her.

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  19. Remember, there is a real risk that years of loneliness or regret are your fate should you jettison your devoted but familiar lover for the excitement of fresh meat.

    Bring back the real Roissy impostor! There’s no way he would ever type keystrokes of this sentence.

    Ah, the myth of the lonely old man rears it’s head once again. Yet another feminine social convention with the latent purpose of maintaining women as the prime sexual selector.

    This notion is one of the biggest AFC rationales ever perpetrated on men. Is lonelines a disease that necessitates a cure? If men could be made to believe so, think of the potential profit to be made from, and the potential for manipulation of, men. The real test for a man is how he lives with himself, alone. Precious few men ever truly allow themselves to be alone and learn real independence and self-reliance. The vast majority of guys (particularly in western culture) tend to transition from mother to wife with little or no intermission between, going from LTR to LTR until they ‘settle’ without ever having learned how to interact as an adult.

    The fear of loneliness is entirely too exaggerated in modern western romaticism. The popularized fear-mythology of becoming the “lonely old man who never loved” is the new ‘old maid’ myth made popular in an era when a woman’s worth was dependent upon her marital status and (at least now) equally as false a premise. But in our brave new generation AFC, men (who’ve become women) are repackaged and shamed into believing this horseshit as part & parcel of feminized gender role reversal. And thus we get Speed Dating and eHarmony and a host of other “conveniences” to pacify the insecurities that this reversal instills.

    Don’t buy into the powder-puff idea that if you don’t find your mythological soulmate ONE by the time you’re 30 and ASAP you’ll tempt fate and risk a life of quiet desperation. This contrivance only serves the interests of women who’s imperative it is to enjoy their party years in their 20’s with as many Jerks as they can attract and have a stable Nice Guy who’s petrified he’ll live a life of loneliness and desperation waiting for them at 28-30 to marry and ensure their long term security.

    Don’t buy this lie. The man who is comfortable with himself and confident in his true independence is the one that women will want to be associated with and to share in it. How you handle being alone and what you do with the opportunities that freedom allows is the real measure of a man.

    If you’re single and 50 you STILL have options if you’re only brave enough to explore them. I know divorced men in their 50s who’re dating mid 30s women right now and I know men in their 60s who’ve been trapped and emotionally blackmailed by their wives for 30 years

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  20. I remember before I went on my first business trip my boss sitting me down and saying, “What happens on the road stays on the road.”

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  21. Lara,

    …and then the second thing he said was ‘bring the movies’…

    Honestly, did you fool around with your boss?

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  22. First of all, why is he seeing her every day? That’s not necessary. You have 7 nights in a week in which to juggle your social life. I think of it like this.

    1 night a week: Fuck Buddy Status

    2 nights a week: STR or beginning LTR – You can’t get away only 2 nights a week with a LTR once the relationship gets going

    3 nights a week: LTR – this is ideal for LTRs if you want to Game other women. It leaves you 4 other nights to juggle FWBs or STRs

    4 nights a week: LTR – this along with 3 nights per week is the max that you should commit to a serious LTR. There is no reason for more than this unless (see below)

    5 & 6 nights a week – This is for when the LTR is moving towards marriage (if you go that path). This is really serious stuff. Its just not necessary if you’re not going to marry the girl.

    7 nights a week – you might as well be married.

    Also, think of this. If you have an LTR where you see the girl 3 nights a week and she sleeps over – or you sleep over her place – and also if you have morning sex before going to work or school, then you are having sex with a girl 6 calendar days of the week. That’s more enough for any girl to feel like she’s getting special time.

    So, this guy needs to stop seeing this girl so much. 3 or 4 nights a week max. Then with the other 3 or 4 nights go out and find either some fuck buddies or some STRs. I like to structure it like this:

    #1 Girl – gets 3-4 nights a week depending – also she’s the hottest girl that I can get with my continuing level of Game Mastery and continuing accumulation of resources

    #2 Girl – gets 1-2 nights a week – this girl will be usually a 6 (number 1 girl is usually a high 7 or low 8 as that is the best I can do right now) – I keep her around for a month or two depending – I rotate these and get about 6 of them a year

    #3 Girl – Its tough to juggle three but occasionally you get a situation where the girl is a 5 or 6 but one with “toys”, ie she has really big tits or she is exotic in some way. For example, I’m juggling two girls right now but I met this chubby Latina 6.3 or there abouts. I like Latin girls and this one while chubby had huge tits and a cute face. I wanted to bang her and she was really into me. It was “easy money” as the expression goes. So I Gamed her (piece of cake), had sex with her on the first date, screwed around with her about 6 times in the next three weeks and then broke it off; a quick situational thing that provided some hot sex and didn’t threaten my other relationships.

    Bottom line – this is doable if you partition your time correctly.

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  23. Sidewinder,
    No, he just didn’t want me coming back to the office and talking about some of the other men we traveled with. My boss was a lot older than me and very cool, as long as he had a glass of whiskey and a cigar he was happy.

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  24. The endgame for players is prostitution hobbying. Eventually, his erections will fail for repetition with repeat prostitutes.

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  25. Lara, are you the 34 year old 7 formerly known as Laura? I’m sure your boss would have been even cooler and happier with a cigar, a glass of whiskey in one hand and your ass in the other.

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  26. This is all true.

    But a 9 or 10 can entertain your nether regions for a good long time.

    SERIOUS QUESTION

    Let;s say you arrive at the 9 and you’re astounded at yourself. And let’s say, for sake of argument, that the occasional monitored and participated-in dalliance with a potential MLTR (R of some, … kind) is tolerated, or occasionally encouraged.

    Is there somewhere you can apply to get to a public award?

    We need such a place.

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  27. If you’re single and 50 you STILL have options if you’re only brave enough to explore them. I know divorced men in their 50s who’re dating mid 30s women right now and I know men in their 60s who’ve been trapped and emotionally blackmailed by their wives for 30 years

    Yup. This is true.

    Keep the options open.

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  28. There’s a very simple solution to this problem: cheating.

    You can have your entree and your sides.

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  29. Artful Dodger, easier said than done.

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  30. Artful Dodger
    There’s a very simple solution to this problem: cheating.

    You can have your entree and your sides.

    Most of us are already there.

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  31. If you’re being emotionally blackmailed by your wife, there’s enough divorced women that one more won’t matter.

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  32. Two things.

    First, I think you overlook that person’s statement that the girl is incredibly cute. This suggests that she is in fact at the high end of his league. If that’s true, your claims may be generally true, but they are contradicted by his example. They do not explain it.

    Second, methinks you vastly underestimate the relevance of sex quality for most men. Presented with the options of being with a 6 who wakes them up with blow jobs, begs for sex daily, and comes like a fountain, and a 9 who will, on rare occasion, grace them with sex that makes them feel like a necrophiliac, many men will, at the VERY least, have to think seriously about which to chose. Not all men – if your idea of good sex can be summarized as jackhammering a wet hole, I suppose those considerations are largely irrelevant. But I can say from at least my own experience that sex quality can make me pay attention to a girl a lot longer or shorter than I would otherwise be inclined to, and I’d be very surprised if this is not common.

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  33. Everything Tomassi said was on point.
    The only exceptions are:

    1) you have no game and unwilling to learn game
    2) you are very fat and unwilling to get in shape
    3) you are very ugly and unwilling to make up for it through beefing up your personality in other ways (salsa, guitar, sports, language learning, travel)
    4) poor and unwilling to improve your lot through education, starting a business etc.
    4) you met your soulmate (1% of humanity)

    so yeah, if you are basically a fat, ugly, poor, boring loser and you do not have the drive to improve your life SIGNIFICANTLY, get married if you want to have sex with minimal investment or turn to escorts.

    otherwise, you can comfortably game into your 40s as long as you are the kind of man who is constantly improving in all areas of his life.

    personally, i think if you do want the wifey who will take care of you when you are post 60, the ideal age for a man to marry is early to mid 40s. he can still get the mid 20s yo, and he can enjoy her into an age where he can no longer feasibly get the maximum pleasure out of sex.

    you can obviously extend this longer ( 5 to 10 years) if you are VERY rich and move to a 3rd world country.

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  34. “If you’re single and 50 you STILL have options if you’re only brave enough to explore them. I know divorced men in their 50s who’re dating mid 30s women right now and I know men in their 60s who’ve been trapped and emotionally blackmailed by their wives for 30 years”

    This is true but in 10 years he will be 60 and any normal sane man will want to have someone there for the long haul. Would it be better for him to marry the 35 year old woman who he was dating in his 50s ? Or would it be better to marry the 25 year old he was dating in his 40s ?

    As long as he gets a rock solid pre-nup and hides most of his assets overseas under another name etc the better move is to lock down the 25 year old who will still be in her mid 30s when he is 50 and he has had the pleasure to bang while she was in her prime.

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  35. Google “Coolidge Effect”:
    Ye shall find therein aid in a fact quest.

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  36. @julian,
    personally, i think if you do want the wifey who will take care of you when you are post 60, the ideal age for a man to marry is early to mid 40s. he can still get the mid 20s yo, and he can enjoy her into an age where he can no longer feasibly get the maximum pleasure out of sex.

    Yeah, I think this is a good plan. So good, I think I’ll do it.

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  37. That hotness-vs-time-to-boredness chart serves the dual purpose of helping a man accurately evaluate his former lovers on the 1-10 scale. If you got bored of her in 2 years, she was an 8.

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  38. @FactCheck : “Presented with the options of being with a 6 who wakes them up with blow jobs, begs for sex daily, and comes like a fountain, and a 9 who will, on rare occasion, grace them with sex that makes them feel like a necrophiliac, many men will, at the VERY least, have to think seriously about which to chose.”

    FactCheck makes a very good point, in that it’s not just looks that makes a 9, but the combination of factors that make her enjoyable company. A 6 who is high-libido, good company, and low-maintenance is superior to a 9 who is batshit crazy.

    Of course, if your Game is VERY good, there is hope of getting a 9 AND using Game to make her behave herself and devote her day to pleasing you.

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  39. “FactCheck makes a very good point, in that it’s not just looks that makes a 9, but the combination of factors that make her enjoyable company. A 6 who is high-libido, good company, and low-maintenance is superior to a 9 who is batshit crazy.

    Of course, if your Game is VERY good, there is hope of getting a 9 AND using Game to make her behave herself and devote her day to pleasing you.”

    If we are assessing a woman’s complete value she can be bumped or bumped down maximum 1.5 points on the scale with regards to overall attractiveness. No more, no less.

    Therefore, in your case a woman who is a 6 as a physical specimen can be bumped up to a 7.5, if she cooks, cleans, gives you mindblowing sex, and has a wonderful feminine personality that is a joy to be around. Likewise, a woman who is a 9 as a physical specimen can be bumped down to a 7.5 if she has a bitchy self entitled personality, gives you tepid sex, cannot cook, and is in law school.

    So in essence you are now choosing between two 7.5’s when all the factors are tabulated.

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  40. “Don’t buy this lie. The man who is comfortable with himself and confident in his true independence is the one that women will want to be associated with and to share in it. How you handle being alone and what you do with the opportunities that freedom allows is the real measure of a man.”

    Truer words have never been spoken.

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  41. I don’t think it takes that much game to run MLTRs. I’ve been doing it since 2004. Just takes time. And no you can’t do it without lying, sorry.

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  42. on December 21, 2010 at 12:48 am Good Luck Chuck

    The only chick I never got tired of banging also happened to be the longest relationship I’ve ever had.

    What was the secret?

    1) She was thin, feminine, cute, exotic, only had one partner before me, and was only 21 years old (I was 31). Younger hotter tighter.

    2) She lived with her parents 30 minutes away so most of the time I saw her on weekends only.

    Three years and I never failed to get a hard on when she walked through the door.

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  43. Fuck, I can recall the vulvas of at least five exes with more clarity than I can their faces.

    Bwahahaha!!!! It’s funny because it’s true!

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  44. “You will get bored of sex with every girl you date/love/marry. The only question is how soon.

    No girl can completely satisfy you. As soon as you meet such a girl, your standards will shift upward. This is the nature of your humanity.”

    This is very true, but I would advise a much more simpler solution than going all in every time you get bored (only if the woman is on the level – submissive and respectable relative DMV for you)

    Simply devote your time for something other than sex for a while. When you return, both of you shall have a new passion for each other.

    This requires some independance and ability to say no to your LTR for a while, but that is what you have game for. And that is how it has been done for multiple millenia while civilisation has be built and the family unit was more or less stable.

    There really is no need do destroy lives every time you get bored. You just have to understand that sex and women is not everything in life. This may be hard to do if you live in west where you are constantly bombarded with sexual messiges from advertisments and movies, but hey that is just brainwashing!

    Truth is both modern players and western whores mistake the real peer pressure (to have many meaningless sexual conquests and to search for ever more diminishing sexual pleasure) for thir own natural sexual impulses, but that is just not so.

    Marriage is not the peer pressure – it might be women’s pressure and parents pressure but that is actually smalla and insignificant althrough sometimes dangerous. In no way it is peer and society pressure. The actual pressure today for both men and women is to prove to everyone that you can fuck other people – in bed, in courts, in soul – everywhere.

    For a healthy person sex is just a need that needs to be satisfied from time to time and then forgotten and that is what spouses are for. It is not something one should build his life around unless he is a sex blogger.

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  45. MichaelC,

    Yep, on a long term basis, you’d be way better off with a loving, loyal sex-crazed, good cook and good company 6 than a Cuntish 9.

    Funny how a lot of players still fall like Dominos for a cunt if she is sufficiently hot. And they’ll marry her and indulge all her whims and then
    act surprised when she bolts with her ” artist”
    ex.

    Looks are 90% of a woman’s charm, but loyalty and an affectionate nature are prerequisites too. Otherwise, alpha though you maybe, you’ll have some very low days.

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  46. And abandoning a wife and kids just to chase poon is despicable. If you have to fuck a 9, make her a nice, discreet whore on a sales trip.

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  47. […] answer can be found in this new post by the Chateau du Roissy: Most men “cash in their chips” at some point in their pursuit of the best possible […]

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  48. 4) you met your soulmate (1% of humanity)

    This is the fallacy of the ONE, the soulmate myth. There is no ONE. There are some good Ones and there are some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. The soulmate myth may work in rom-com movies, but anyone harping on it real life is trying to sell you something.

    Secondly, we all die alone. Don’t believe me? Take a stroll through any assisted living / convalescent facility (even the high end ones). They’re full of elderly people there who got married and had kids thinking they’d avoid loneliness and be comforted and surrounded by loved ones in their last days. Most live out (if you can call it that) the remainder of their time wandering the unfamiliar halls and die with an orderly calling whoever’s number they happen to have on hand to ask what to do with the body in the morning.

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  49. There is a contradiction in your theory w/ my experience. A couple of years ago I had relationship. At the beginning, I was really fat & in love and we had sex all the time, 2 years after I lost weight, took care of myself and my self esteem rose but I started treating him more demandingly so we stopped having sex. I believe hotness is beyond mirror.

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  50. @ Rollo Tommassi

    There is no ONE you are right about that.

    But no one should die alone. I know many old people who don’t. If others do that is because they just gived birth to children but not raised them. They were raised by school, society and Holywood. You must run a special type of game on children that is called parenting. It is even more sophisticated than the game we run on women.

    Oh yea, but that is very very LTR…very LLLLL LTR. Too much trouble right?

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  51. @Inanna77
    [BLOCKQUOTE]
    There is a contradiction in your theory w/ my experience. A couple of years ago I had relationship. At the beginning, I was really fat & in love and we had sex all the time, 2 years after I lost weight, took care of myself and my self esteem rose but I started treating him more demandingly so we stopped having sex. I believe hotness is beyond mirror.
    [/BLOCKQUOTE]

    Like I said earlier, an affectionate 6 beats a “demanding” 9. Of course, an affectionate 9 beats both.

    Regarding “my self esteem rose”: that’s generally code for “my perception of what I’m entitled to went up”. The end of a relationship occurs when one party decides that the other party’s “cost of keeping happy” exceeds their value.

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  52. Ugly gap-toothed model warns men against approaching her:
    http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/were-out-of-your-league-victorias-secret-star-warns-ordinary-blokes/story-e6frfmqi-1225973769888
    Thus confirming the maxim to never listen to a woman about women. She does, of course, qualify her statements to include only “ordinary (read beta)” men.

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  53. I’m going all in. After all this type of risk is worth it.

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  54. “You will get bored of sex with every girl you date/love/marry. The only question is how soon.

    No girl can completely satisfy you. As soon as you meet such a girl, your standards will shift upward. This is the nature of your humanity.”

    This is only true if you are easily bored. I’m a geek, so I fascinate myself with nonsexual activity for a good part of the day. That’s why I have a geek girl whom I can work crosswords with in the downtime, but who wants it every night.

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  55. So, how about this piece of advice from the ladies…in particular from a model, “ummm, don’t bother. We’ll hit on you, thanks.”
    http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2010/12/20/victorias-secret-model-ordinary-guys-dont-chance-date/

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  56. ” 4) you met your soulmate (1% of humanity)

    This is the fallacy of the ONE, the soulmate myth. There is no ONE. There are some good Ones and there are some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. The soulmate myth may work in rom-com movies, but anyone harping on it real life is trying to sell you something.”

    I was being partly ironic, but believe me I have known people who have met their ‘soulmate’ and what I mean by that is their ‘template’ and it has proven to be an enduring relationship that lasted until their death. You would have to be blind to reality to say this has not happened millions of times throughout history.

    If what you mean by ‘soulmate’ is this person who is out there waiting for you and you for her and that God has picked them out for you and you only; then yes I agree with you that it is a delusion. My point is simply that throughout humanity there have been people who have found each other and whether it was by sheer dumb luck, cosmic forces, or plain old biological roulette they found the best possible fit that gave them an enduring and satisfying partnership.

    Like


  57. Many quality comments on this thread have my head nodding. I’ve especially got the bobble head going for FactCheck’s comment about sex being at least as important as looks.

    [Editor: LieCheck is blowing smoke. Girls’ looks are far more important than their bedroom skills to a man’s experience of pleasure.]

    I (again) dumped my hottie, leaving me only with my girl of middling attractiveness. (well, not counting the ping-pong sleepover buddy or the ex/current-fuck-buddy. I much prefer my 6 to my 9. There is only so long you can remain attracted to a pair of tits and incredible face and great body alone. Love is what you do, so the girl has to do it.

    Like


  58. Spank me with a Spatula, Gorb is getting married!

    Like


  59. Rollo

    Most live out (if you can call it that) the remainder of their time wandering the unfamiliar halls and die with an orderly calling whoever’s number they happen to have on hand to ask what to do with the body in the morning.

    Am I sick for finding that funny?

    Like


  60. on December 21, 2010 at 3:40 pm anonymouses anonymous

    Marriage is only for securing the woman you want to have your children. There is no other reason to risk half, or all, your worldly possessions.

    Like


  61. I cashed out before I realized I was playing the game.

    I don’t regret it, she is very hot and when we have fun it is lots of fun… but there are often times when she is being a non-stop bitch and we haven’t fucked in days and hot girls are flaunting their availability… I have a hard time saying no. One of the terrible ironies of settling down is that it seems to motivate girls to flirt with you more.

    Like


  62. C said: “Roissy, would like to see you analyze this:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/fashion/weddings/19vows.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&ref=weddings&adxnnlx=1292953413-YzEiWDHaJiB+69mcsQUC+Q

    It’s f*cked-up, that’s what it is. The woman’ll “always feel terribly about the pain” she caused her ex-husband and kids– boo hoo, I f*ckin’ hope so (it won’t be as much as their hurt feelings though). As “normal” as the NYT tries to make it sound it’s still nasty… people are so frickin’ worthless and selfish these days.

    Like


  63. “but there are often times when she is being a non-stop bitch and we haven’t fucked in days and hot girls are flaunting their availability…”

    Duude. You need to read this blog from beginning to end and apply that knowledge from here on out with militant precision. Do not waste a moment more; a woman’s bitchiness is usually correlated to her diminishing attraction for you.

    Like


  64. This is unrelated, but it’s been driving me crazy. Lately every time I see someone posting about some hot Russian chick a couple of people jump in with stuff like “She’s average in Russia!” and “There are plenty of hotter women in Russia!” but no one ever mentions any of these women who are supposedly hotter. Who are these Russian women who are ten times better looking than Sharapova and Kournikova and where can I find pictures of them?

    Like


  65. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/fashion/weddings/19vows.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&ref=weddings&adxnnlx=1292970476-gfNxkO9oXzcdnE3zwlVmsg

    NYT tried to put some sort of sugar on what is clearly feces pie here. What a piece of work those two are!! Pieces of shite, actually. Un-friggin-believable.

    The narcissism is staggering. Never mind you just screwed over your children’s chances. (Children of divorce, go on to divorce…) Never mind the devastated husband. Never mind the devastated wife. IT’S ALL ABOUT US, DON’T YOU SEE?

    Of course, the joke is ultimately on THEM. They will divorce soon enough.

    Karma has a way of working itself back around.

    The kicker to the whole thing is that, at the top of the article is a single word.

    “Vows.”

    Like


  66. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/fashion/weddings/19vows.html

    “Being honest” about having no character and integrity doesn’t make it any better… as Santa says, “Ho, Ho, Ho!”

    or, “F*ck my spouse and kids, my ‘gina is tingling!”

    Like


  67. @ julian

    I have been, the first week after I discovered game was life changing. Due to a variety of factors I’ve not been as disciplined about it as I should be, and of course I still have much to learn, but I’m on my way. She is just a naturally bitchy person a lot of the time, I think because she is so hot she has gotten away with it her whole life. I can shut it down fairly effectively as long as I don’t get sucked into her frame.

    Like


  68. Hux,

    I thought that article was a spoof first: So monstrous were the “bride” and “groom”. I was wrong.

    In a happier age, they’d be getting pilloried in the NY Post.

    Like


  69. Sorry, Sargon, in today’s left/libtarded age, these turds…

    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/19/fashion/weddings/19vows.html

    are “healthy” and “normal” for seeking their happiness at the their former spouses and kids’ expense. It’s “liberating,” you know… hypergamy runs riot and wreaks havoc, but who cares?

    Like


  70. Don’t know if you’ve seen this Roissy, but your wisdom is proved correct once again!

    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/40764551#40392186

    The commentators rationalizations are laughable.

    Like


  71. “” Marriage is only for securing the woman you want to have your children. There is no other reason to risk half, or all, your worldly possessions. “”

    Marrying for “love” is a modern concept , go back a mere hundred years or so and in most cases “love” in marriage was at best, secondary to other considerations.

    Like


  72. The whole “soulmate” thing is a romantic delusion.

    A soulmate, at best , is just someone that you are attracted to and compatible with and they fit reasonably well into your life.

    Believing in some “Soulmate” out there that is perfect for you is just another way that women don’t look at making themselves better people and taking responsibility for themselves but expect that there is someone out there that is perfect for her as she is.

    Like


  73. Raw. Groom kills new wife, best man and then himself at the altar of his wedding. This is what happens when a woman follows the ‘tingle’. Shaking my head.

    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2010/12/20/international/i150548S08.DTL#ixzz18lwxfLkH

    Like


  74. …is just another way that women don’t look at making themselves better people and taking responsibility for themselves but expect that there is someone out there that is perfect for her as she is.

    I recently ripped into a girl with a two page rant, and then chided her on chat for not working hard to show love, by cooking, cleaning, sex, etc, and that she wanted to be loved for “who she really is”, rather than work for it.

    Nose in the air princesses make me furious. It’s the job of the girlfriend to be a girl and to work – to deliberately and constantly work – work to show affection.

    I have a girl who does that, and it makes me warm inside. That’s the kind of life improvement glow that you can’t get as an independent man. I don’t believe in male independence, for that reason. is just another way that women don’t look at making themselves better people and taking responsibility for themselves but expect that there is someone out there that is perfect for her as she is.

    Not to mention that regular good sex is a huge life improvement, and not all men are structured to be able to relax without this.

    Like


  75. After leaving a strenuous dating life of constantly meeting and going out with women to be in a relationship, I’ve also found myself falling out of the moment.

    I think it’s perfectly natural, no need to see a therapist, it’s all very logical. The transition isn’t that easy, in fact, it’s like a sudden stop. All this is explanation you could analyze and find out on your own, but let me tell you what I started doing.

    I started calling my girlfriend more often.

    It helps to remind me what I have and how perfect my relationship is. Although I could frolic about meet a bunch of girls and do the deed with a lot more than just one person, I don’t, because I’m not willing to sacrifice my happiness. I am happy. Relationships do that.

    Do you want to be happy or at peace, or do you want to go to war again and feel challenged.

    Right now, I’ll go for peace.

    Like


  76. Anonymous,

    The cult of personal liberation has done nearly as much damage as communism

    Like


  77. Xsplat , the sort of behaviour you describe will only become more common and quite possibly worse as the 18 – 22 year old chicks of today reach their late 20’s to early 30’s.

    These “women” (for want of a better word) will be used to getting everything on a platter and their whims catered to by their parents.

    With the common breakdown of the family unit and the plethora of absent fathers , one can only hope that this leads to a flood of sluts with daddy issues that are ripe for manipulation and dare I say , exploitation by the generation of men above them.

    Like


  78. The Soulmate Myth is the leading cause of ONEitis today. ONEitis is paralysis. You cease to mature, you cease to move, you cease to be you.

    There are LOTS of ‘special someones’ out there for you, just ask the divorced/widowed person who remarries a year or two after their “soulmate” has died or moved on.

    Stop trying to find the ONE out there for you. I about puke everytime I hear the mealy-mouthed voice of that Focus on the Family “Doctor” on the eHarmony commercials playing on stupid women’s (and too many mangina’s) fears of never finding security by advertising that they’ll find your soul-mate with their 40 question pop-psychology personality test. There has never been a more damaging mass-psychosis in the history of humanity than the personal limitations and retardation in maturity that is self-inflicted from people swallowing this soul-mate garbage.

    This is what trips people up about the soul-mate myth, it is this fantasy that we all at least in some way share an idealization of; that there is ONE perfect mate for each of us and as soon as the planets align and fate takes it’s course we’ll know that we’re ‘intended’ for each other. While this may sell a lot of romance novels it’s hardly a realistic way to plan your life. I had a friend commit suicide after 2 kids and 20 years of marriage, because he thought exactly like this; she was the ONE and he couldn’t go on without her and she even bought this for the first 17 or so years. This woman started dating a millionaire 3 months after he was buried and married this guy a year later and you know what she tells my wife to this day? He’s the ONE. So, you can sing songs about her (or him) and how you are each other’s sun and moon, but in the harsh daylight of reality, we all do exactly what our conditions demand from us.

    What I find even more fascinating is how common the idea is (mostly for guys) that a nuts & bolts view of life should be trumped in the area of intersexual relationships. Guys who would otherwise recognize the value of understanding psychology, biology, sociology, evolution and the interplay we see these take place in our lives on a daily basis, are some of the first guys to become violently opposed to the idea that maybe there isn’t ‘someone for everyone’ or that there are a lot more ONEs out there that could meet or exceed the criteria we set for them to be the ONE. I think it comes off as nihilistic or this dread that maybe their ego investment in this belief is false. It’s just too terrible to contemplate that there maybe no ONE or there maybe several ONEs to spend their lives with.

    Like


  79. Mr. C. said: “With the common breakdown of the family unit and the plethora of absent fathers , one can only hope that this leads to a flood of sluts with daddy issues… ”

    You mean more hypergamous trash that expressly seeks imprisoned serial killers, violent bar thugs and unemployed bums? Yay. All they’ll do is use and abuse any good men they come across (you know, to pay-back Daddy) then take off like a shot when any opf their “type” appears. Be a masochist and have an iron-clad pre-nup with paternity testing included, if that’s appealing. (Chicks with daddy issues tend to be freak-nasty in bed, though.) Your call.

    Like


  80. This is what happens when women follow the ‘tingle’. Tragic.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/20/groom-kills-bride-self_n_799487.html

    Like


  81. @Mr. C

    With the common breakdown of the family unit and the plethora of absent fathers , one can only hope that this leads to a flood of sluts with daddy issues that are ripe for manipulation and dare I say , exploitation by the generation of men above them.

    Amen brother. Like the man said, the only two questions in life are: (1) why should I care?, and (2) what’s in it for me?

    All I see are lifelong opportunities to fuck young women with daddy issues who want, no NEED, a good hard spanking, some hot fucking, and a kick out the door. Then I’m in luck because I’m able to provide all of those. And who said anything about marrying them?

    Sounds like heaven to me, but I’m an amoral hedonist. If you actually still give a shit about western civilization and crap like that you’re SOL and doomed to sadness, unless you get your mind right, accept reality, and enjoy the ride.

    Think Slim Picking whoopin’ it up riding the nuke in Dr. Strangelove. That’s my future.

    Like


  82. @Julian

    A Brazilian man assassinates his bride and his best man at the wedding reception. Then commits suicide.

    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2010/12/20/international/i150548S08.DTL#ixzz18lwxfLkH

    Hmmm….I wonder what provoked him to do that….

    Hmmm….sounds like someone was sampling the wedding cake before the event….

    When a man can’t control his d*ick correctly, all hell often breaks loose, and the assassins come out of the woodwork.

    Words to the wise.

    Like


  83. Groom assassinates his bride AND his best man at the wedding reception. Then commits suicide.

    Sounds like someone was tasting the wedding cake before the event.

    Careful with your peck*rs, gents. If you let your little head dominate your big head, six guys may be carrying you to church fairly soon. You never know.

    Not sure the best man here saw this coming.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/20/groom-kills-bride-self_n_799487.html

    Wotta mess.

    Like


  84. HUX

    Groom assassinates his bride AND his best man at the wedding reception. Then commits suicide.

    http://www.huffingtonliberalfascistpost.com/2010/12/20/groom-kills-bride-self_n_799487.html

    Wotta mess.

    How typically liberal of the huffpo to report on a woman’s murder in Brazil, but the libnazis always seem to fail to mention Mex Illegals raping and murdering American girls.

    Like


  85. Malcolm Tucker

    Sounds like heaven to me, but I’m an amoral hedonist. If you actually still give a shit about western civilization and crap like that you’re SOL and doomed to sadness, unless you get your mind right, accept reality, and enjoy the ride.

    Think Slim Picking whoopin’ it up riding the nuke in Dr. Strangelove. That’s my future

    I prefer General Ripper – he had Vision.

    When these is the Yahoo! Yearend search champs – riding that nuke isn’t far enough away.

    Top 10 Searches

    1. BP Oil Spill
    2. World Cup
    3. Miley Cyrus
    4. Kim Kardashian
    5. Lady Gaga
    6. iPhone
    7. Megan Fox
    8. Justin Bieber
    9. American Idol
    10. Britney Spears

    Like


  86. “HUX:

    Groom assassinates his bride AND his best man at the wedding reception. Then commits suicide.

    http://www.huffingtonliberalfascistpost.com/2010/12/20/groom-kills-bride-self_n_799487.html

    The groom-shows-pictures-of-the-bride-fucking-the-best-mas-at-the-reception-and-tells-her-to-stick-it done in real life.

    Like


  87. Malcom Tucker said: “Think Slim Picking whoopin’ it up riding the nuke in Dr. Strangelove. That’s my future.”

    Be that way or be alone… no wonder the damn Jihadists think we’re ripe for wanting Sharia instead.

    Like


  88. Anonymous

    Malcom Tucker said: “Think Slim Picking whoopin’ it up riding the nuke in Dr. Strangelove. That’s my future.”

    Be that way or be alone… no wonder the damn Jihadists think we’re ripe for wanting Sharia instead.

    What do you recommend to Mr. Tucker, then – when the very group that must violently react to Liberal Oppression mewls its childish complaining on 804,593 websites devoted to “The Daily Outrage Against Men!”

    Talk is cheap.

    Like


  89. enlightening fun

    Like


  90. Very true. One reason that I get women like Chic Noir so horny is that I efficiently tell her to detox my buttox, and I make it clear that it is an honor and privilege that she has received.

    Guys like PA place women on pedestals to high that he assigns otherworldly status to all women. The poor man actually thinks women do not poop. Despite every other woman and man here telling him otherwise, he still insists that women do not poop.

    That is just about the most extreme deification of females a man can do.

    But this disorder is common, and prevents men from having meaningful relationships with women as human beings. As roissy says, objectifying and dehumanizing her works. Assuming she is a supernatural being who does not poop is to guarantee a life of virginity.

    Many men suffer from what PA suffers from. We must help this poor man, and make him come to terms with the reality that women poop, fart, and get diarrhea just like all humans do. We must cure him of these mental blocks.

    Like


  91. Firepower says: “What do you recommend to Mr. Tucker, then – when the very group that must violently react to Liberal Oppression mewls its childish complaining on 804,593 websites devoted to ‘The Daily Outrage Against Men!’

    Talk is cheap.”

    Low-quality bitches want to VD-ed, pregnant and abandoned, f*ck ’em (not, actually)! If some dude’s making a move on what’s yours, make it really clear that it would be bad for his health. (Actual cro magnon violence is illegal, you understand, but you’re a grown adult and go do what you want… if we’re going back to the stoneage with hypergamy than this is what goes along with it, and suburban cubicle “alpha” poseurs lose their game and get scared when they realize you’re sincere and not posturing– they just came to cum, not fight– and it excites women to be fought, or at least intimidated, over.) Real badasses let da bitches come to them and protect what’s theirs, because going out and poachin’ somebody else’s has a tendency to get them shot.

    Like


  92. Quote: “You mean more hypergamous trash that expressly seeks imprisoned serial killers, violent bar thugs and unemployed bums? Yay. All they’ll do is use and abuse any good men they come across (you know, to pay-back Daddy) then take off like a shot when any opf their “type” appears. Be a masochist and have an iron-clad pre-nup with paternity testing included, if that’s appealing. (Chicks with daddy issues tend to be freak-nasty in bed, though.) Your call.”

    That may be so , but is there anything that can be done to turn the ship , or should I say shit around ?

    These good men you talk about need to de-chumpify themselves and develop solid game and the ability to spot out a cryptoslut when they see one.

    Like


  93. Mr. C says: “That may be so, but is there anything that can be done to turn the ship, or should I say shit around?

    These good men you talk about need to de-chumpify themselves and develop solid game and the ability to spot out a cryptoslut when they see one.”

    Don’t take their sh*t. When they cutsyly go “Buy me a drink?” say “For a blowjob” (and, when they look at you dumbstruck, add “Yeah, suck on it and I’ll buy you a drink” because that’s a sh*t test of theirs– men don’t let themselves get played for a sucker, chumps do). You’ll lose that one (she wasn’t going to do anything but use you for free drinks anyway) and maybe a couple more, but habitually not takin’ their sh*t gets more respect from women. And respect must be earned.

    Good men need to make women come to them– get their attention, inform ’em of interest (which they assume all men have, but they need to know you in particular might be) and make ’em work for it– because people don’t value sh*t that’s free. Make it worth my while, woman!

    Like


  94. Firepower

    Top 10 Searches

    1. BP Oil Spill
    2. World Cup
    3. Miley Cyrus
    4. Kim Kardashian
    5. Lady Gaga
    6. iPhone
    7. Megan Fox
    8. Justin Bieber
    9. American Idol
    10. Britney Spears

    This tells me that girls do most of the internet searching.

    No surprise, I suppose. The gaggling geese extended their gossip phone tree into the inter tubes.

    Like


  95. Noun of the day award goes to Mr. C, for “cryptoslut”.

    Like


  96. @Firepower

    What do you recommend to Mr. Tucker, then – when the very group that must violently react to Liberal Oppression mewls its childish complaining on 804,593 websites devoted to “The Daily Outrage Against Men!”

    That’s the problem. Well, other than misspelling Slim Pickens’ name in my initial post. That’s the real shame.

    I used to be one of those caring gen x types who believed all that feminist horseshit. I got laid once in a while, but in hindsight it was because I happened to use game without realizing it or through some other random happenstance. Then I realized it was a waste of time when I started reading about PUA and all that back in the aughts. Like General Ripper, I began to expand my vision.

    Now I don’t really care about things other than money, pussy, guns, camping, beer, bourbon, football, soccer, boxing, Irish whiskey, traveling, and generally having fun. I found out that it just doesn’t matter. We’re all dead anyways, so might as well have a ball. I just can’t be bothered anymore to fight the good fight.

    And I’m not one of those pussies who whine on the bitchy men’s rights websites. I check them out once in a while when I need a little outrage with my morning coffee, but the constant talk talk talk gets old old old after ten minutes. Yak yak and more yak. Boring.

    Like


  97. Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?

    Like


  98. @MichaelC

    So basically, the market value assessment is valid for hooking-up, but not for a long-term relationship, at least as long as the “affection” criteria is missing.

    Like I said earlier, an affectionate 6 beats a “demanding” 9. Of course, an affectionate 9 beats both.

    Regarding “my self esteem rose”: that’s generally code for “my perception of what I’m entitled to went up”. The end of a relationship occurs when one party decides that the other party’s “cost of keeping happy” exceeds their value.

    Like


  99. Let’s qualify that the “affectionate 6” has to be grandmothered into that position, meaning she has to be at least an 8 when you meet her and then keep her top position on your schedule because she’s damned good at hugging for hours on end, smelling great (can be more important than looks), cooking up a storm and washing dishes and keeping house.

    Even then, for a Christmas present, the non-beta would be giving her a sports club membership with special aerobics certificates and making sure she starts going this coming Monday. My girl has dropped to a 7 because of weight gain the past few weeks. That’s OK for the Christmas weekend but not beyond.

    And I’ve definitely not “cashed out”. Maybe when I’m 70.

    Like


  100. BEARER OF GRIM TRUTH….

    most men should find their wives prior to age 23.

    1) the number of wifey class gorgeous ladies available in the single market collapses exponentially past 18.
    1 in 15 at 17 (many are virgins)
    1 in 20 at 18
    1 in 40 at 19
    1 in 100 at 20
    1 in 200 at 21
    1 in 500 at 25 (slept with 30 men by now after 10 years of being sexually active)
    1 in 750 at 30
    1 in 1000 at 40

    finding a decent 40 year old wife is Sasquatch hunting.

    they get a) ugly or b) locked into relationships (wifey class girls don’t date losers or assholes, dont dump men or get dumped, so they get locked in at a young age) or c) jaded by the sexual market septic tank hookups /relationships.

    2) these sane women are generally turned off by older men and are most available to college peers.

    3) most older men have limited game to pick up women 10-15 years younger (18-20)

    Ergo.. spend your time in grad school or senior year in undergrad finding your wife among freshmen. you will never have a better opportunity to do so.

    Do the men in your family date women 20 years younger? If no, find your college freshman wife while in college or get a job as a college professor or get exceptional young girl game (this is mostly genetic — do you have baby face that looks 10 years younger? highly creative youthful mind? do younger women like you?).

    Women may be more perishable, but men’s opportunities are more fleeting.

    Like


  101. That would mean we’d be just as perishable for all intents and purposes, wouldn’t it?

    18 year olds are difficult for men of any age because they tend to be full of themselves, but that can be overcome with negs or a man can wait six months to a year because smart girls quickly realize they won’t be beautiful forever.

    They’re still the hardest game in town. In the film Machete, 57 year old Stephen Segall was surrounded by them and he could surround himself with them in real life. It isn’t just his fame, but his physical appearance and alpha mannerism.

    Anyway, here is the kind of woman worth marrying if you have to get married:

    http://gawker.com/5717312/cheated-game-show-couple-will-get-a-shot-at-redemption

    Black man was actually correct with his answer and his wife was wrong. But the dummy producers of the game show were wrong and they said the wife’s answer was correct as they stole 800 grand from the husband.

    But the wife had already deferred to her husband and had let him bet that 800 thousand dollars.

    When the game show host said they were wrong and stole the money, the wife could have easily yelled at her hubby on camera for not having listened to her.

    In fact, I was expecting this to happen when I first watched the video.

    But the video shows the wife consoling the husband and not rubbing it in at all that he “should have listened to her”. That is PRECISELY what you want in a girlfriend (or wife). That can be worth 2 points out of 10.

    Her non-shrew behavior is a turn-on to watch.

    Now it turns out the smart black guy was correct after all. 3M Corporation says he was right. His wife had been wrong with the answer she had given. The producers of the game show had been wrong.

    The video stands for all of America to see that the wife was entirely correct to stand by her husband no matter what, even when she incorrectly thought, along with the rest of the country, that he had made a mistake and lost 800 thousand dollars because of it.

    Like


  102. A reader laments:

    “I met this incredibly cute girl who really did it for me and we’ve been dating for four months. But lately I’ve felt less and less like having sex with her. She still looks great but my thoughts wander to hooking up with other women I see every day. I’ve even been having sex dreams about ex’s. Has this happened to you? I don’t want to break up with her because she might be the best I can get at the moment, but my horniness for her is disappearing.”

    Not a conundrum at all. Suggest to her they evolve their relationship into an “open” one.

    If not, there are plenty of women out there open to that these days.

    The “lifestyle” is spreading and it won’t be long til before it becomes mainstream.

    Like


  103. […] – “The Modern Definition of Anti-Semitism“, “Going All in or Cashing Out“, “Thinking Like a Woman“, “Have a Herbly […]

    Like


  104. On the One. I think it’s rather impossible to deny the entire existence of soulmates – it’s such a subjective matter. It is likely that many people will never find a soulmate and thus it is of course not helpful to advise them not to settle for anything but. Also, I understand it can be tempting to deny something that is near impossible to prove when you haven’t experienced it, yourself. After all, when you see a happy couple, you can’t possibly say they are soulmates, just that they seem to be good for each other. But they may be convinced they are soulmates. And who is anyone else to dispute their view if it brings them true happiness?

    I believe I have found my soulmate. However, I don’t expect or require anyone else to confirm this. But neither do I insist that there is a soulmate for everyone, simply awaiting to be found. My point is mostly that the existence of the One to another person is something one really can’t deem to either prove or disprove. So you who deny that anyone can have a soulmate are, in a way, being equally unhelpful as some moon-eyed romantic telling others they should all wait for the One only.

    Of course, you don’t need to be convinced you’re with your soulmate to have a fulfilling sex/lovelife. Every relationship is different and some people are blessed (or cursed) with more needs than others. But for some the idea of soulmates may give them not mere bliss but stability and strength to overcome obstacles and woes that life tends to throw your way. Then again, I don’t believe in marriage per se, so maybe this soulmate thing is just my way of describing ultimate devotion and belonging. Not perfect, nothing human is that, but sincere.

    *gives a start* I think I just realized I’m probably spouting my soppiness at the entirely wrong place. Alas, Cosmo forums were down. I mean — *flees*

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  105. haha I still feel kinda bad of an ex i had for 2 years (it has been a year now) but if im completely honest with myself i do still think much more about the sexual fun i had with her than anything else =p

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