I’m sure we all woke up this morning hoping to see a visualization of the Original Wall through the lens of botox appointments. Your prayers are answered:
Botox is a neurotoxin produced from the most acutely lethal bacterium known, Botulinim, and it has the effect of paralyzing and relaxing muscle cells. For this reason, it is used in the cosmetic treatment of age-related wrinkling. Results are temporary and fresh injections must be administered every three to four months to maintain the waxy rictus of Fake Youth.
Scheduled botox appointments can therefore be interpreted as warning flares of looming Wall impact (aka sexual worthlessness).
Women are 92% of cosmetic procedure patients, so we can safely assume the above chart primarily reflects the anxieties and priorities of women.
The chart above reveals that for most women concerned about the first conspicuous signs of aging of the face, interest in botox intervention skyrockets between the ages of 30 and 39. Interest remains high through the 40s, then tapers off in the 50s and beyond.
From this, we can conclude women are aware of their impending hit with the Wall, and that this hit will take place sometime in the mid 30s, on average. Once first contact with the Wall is established, women spend the next ten to twenty years in a tragic denial of the Wall’s wake of destruction, going for monthly and then weekly “touch-ups” and draping velvet over all the mirrors in their homes to delude themselves of their sexual invisibility.
Once a woman hits her 50s (never in stride), she gives up on the dream and lets nature take her course (abject defilement of the body by soulless biomechanical forces). Self-delusion is therefore strongest during and around the time of Wall impact, when memories of the dew-dappled rose she once was can still be seen in the rearview mirror, to cruelly suffuse a woman with ill-bethotten hope.
But the very act of making the botox appointment is, on the deepest level where even the hamster dare not spin, awareness by an aging late 20-something beauty that her salad tossing years were in the neighborhood of 15-22, regardless of statutory laws implying the contrary.
Most depressingly, women as young as their 20s will feel the first sting of Wall anxiety. The rose is still fertile, but a petal or two has fluttered to the ground, and the chyron song of botox calls to them at this early age. It is at this age we see “Other Appointments” at its highest rate, which likely includes such noteworthy SMV boosters as nose jobs, tit jobs, and acne peels — the cosmetic procedures of ugliness-concealment rather than age-defiance.
Nicole Kidman has had a lot of work done. (h/t Corinth Arkadin)
Does this look like Nicole Kidman, or like the sexbot version of Nicole Kidman?
Humanity Status: Imperceptible
Lady Status: Desperate leg-spreading aging ho
SMV Status: Altered and airbrushed