Alpha Or Beta?

This one’s a close call. In a poorly written “news” story, Jennifer quit her day job to breastfeed her boyfriend Brad.

However, they have a very unique bond that has caused Jennifer to quit her job. The former bartender is now planning to stay at home and begin what is known as an adult breastfeeding relationship. […]

Jennifer has taken a leave of absence from work in order to further the relationship. She consumes herbal drinks and pills that are designed to stimulate milk flow. Brad is also excited about the health benefits that her milk has to offer. He is a workout buff who prides himself on working hard to look good for the woman he cares about most.

They plan to become married one day. For now, they are in no rush at all. Jennifer and Brad have yet to tell the whole world about their relationship, but they have shared the news with a few close friends.

Woops, whole world notified!

The Breastfeeders:

Literally breastfeeding as an adult is beta, but persuading your girl to turn her life upside so you can latch onto her tits all day long and suckle at her life force is alpha.

When my ability to judge a situation like this one is so badly clouded by contradictory inputs, I revert to the old stand-by criterion: How hot is the dude’s girlfriend? She’s a 3 or, generously, a 4, so my verdict is that breastfeederboy is beta.

PS The most important factoid from the story:

She has never fed a baby of her own.

That’ll be all, clickbait internet. That’ll be all.





Comments


  1. on December 7, 2017 at 2:17 pm Oliver Elkington

    She was a bartender presumably as a full time career, i would personally have serious doubts about entering into a relationship with a full time bartender, i am going to say beta.

    Liked by 2 people


  2. Is there a “degenerate, disgusting pukes” category on the alpha-beta-gamma scale?

    Liked by 4 people


  3. on December 7, 2017 at 2:20 pm Gregory Daniel Nikolic

    Strangely, just to play the contrarian I’ll say alpha. A woman’s body fluids are practically sacred in this secular culture. Just to get her to give it up is equal to half a blowjob in a high school football field with the night lights blazing.

    3 stars out of 4.

    Liked by 3 people


  4. I’ll take *fvcking wierd* for $100 Alex.

    Liked by 6 people


  5. He follows the law of iron and nothing else.
    Low level Beta.

    Like


  6. Alpha or beta…. or maybe just batshit degenerate insanity. It’s off the map of alpha/beta/gamma/omega. Just kill it with fire.

    Liked by 5 people


  7. She’s white with pink nipples.

    I gotta call this alpha.

    Liked by 1 person


  8. When my ability to judge a situation like this one is so badly clouded by contradictory inputs,

    Their facial expressions are crystal-clear to me: he’s a beta.

    I revert to the old stand-by criterion: How hot is the dude’s girlfriend? She’s a 3 or, generously, a 4, so my verdict is that breastfeederboy is beta.

    That low? Did you run MakeApp on her or something?

    Like


    • but persuading your girl to turn her life upside so you can latch onto her tits all day long and suckle at her life force is alpha.

      Only if you’re also banging her. If there’s no sex going on, it’s not just beta, it’s infantile.

      Like


      • Giving up a bartender job is hardly “turn her life upside” life changing. Bartenders aren’t similar to high powered corporate lawyers or doctors. It’s a dead end job. She probably was already going to quite, the titty narrative is just an excuse.

        Like


    • Considering the blatant photoshop going on in the picture can’t say that wouldn’t end up being a wash.

      Like


  9. All matters of this sort are easily resolved by asking: how would I explain this to my great-grandfather?

    Like


  10. bruhhh

    I like the way this cat thinks

    i need a lactater to go with my whey

    Like


  11. i like the way this cat thinks

    i need a lactater to go with my whey

    Like


  12. on December 7, 2017 at 2:49 pm Gunslingergregi

    Her forehead is huugeeeee be careful of bitches with giant foteheads

    Like


  13. He made her his cow. Pretty alpha.

    Like


  14. Alpha? Beta? Who gives a damn? These are two drastically screwed up people who don’t even deserve a place in the social hierarchy in a sane world.

    Liked by 1 person


    • I’m with ya.

      Beady-eyed cooze with some scrawny mystery meat dork with an infantile mama fetish (I’m guessing Hispanic, but could be ME).

      Meh and Feh… next.

      Liked by 2 people


  15. If anyone plans on keeping us abreast of this situation, miss me.

    (((shakin’ mah haid)))

    Liked by 1 person


  16. Bartenders are for banging. They are one step above strippers with even more inflated egos.

    Like


    • Nahh, strippers get more exercise than bartenders. They’re both strictly pump-and-dump, sure, but the strippers have better bodies and can move them.

      Liked by 3 people


  17. She has never fed a baby of her own.

    Wait what? So she had a baby but didn’t breastfeed it? And instead breastfeeds this dude? That’s just weird.

    Oh crap she didn’t have a baby so how the f do you get milk

    Very strange

    Like


  18. She’s fat and ugly, and he has mental development issues writ upon his visage

    Liked by 1 person


  19. mmm clicky

    dude’s alpha AF. why buy the cow when the cow will quit her job and take herbs to give you milk for free

    Liked by 1 person


  20. Any theories that would explain a 1000-cock stare + a sincere smile?
    (A) Vet nympho-exhibitionist.
    (B) Turned out previously by a pimp hand.
    (C) Other.

    Like


  21. Makes sense. She looks like she could be his mother.

    Like


  22. There’s roughly zero chance this story is true, but LOL @ “herbal” anything making her lactate.

    Pretty much the only thing that will make a nulliparous woman lactate is antidopaminergics, which are pretty much only prescribed for serious mental illness like Schizophrenia.

    So assuming this story is real, she’s probably legitimately clinically mentally ill.

    Like


  23. Beta simp. This guy has a good body and takes care of himself and all he can pull is a 36 year old single mommy who had her kid when she was 16? (Google around to get the whole story, her name is Jennifer Mulford.) She managed to suck this pathetic guy into supporting her so she can quit her shitty bartending job, and all she has to do is let this guy suck her tits a few times a day (and get fucked by this admittedly pretty ripped guy in the process). Either she has some truly magical pussy, or this guy has some serious mommy issues.

    Like


  24. on December 7, 2017 at 7:04 pm Vagina dominator

    I am confused. How does this fit in with “why buy a cow when you get your milk for free”? Because he seems to have bought a cow.

    Liked by 3 people


  25. on December 7, 2017 at 7:08 pm Vagina dominator

    Actually, the really noteworthy part of this is that they have no shame at letting the world know just how very mentally ill they are.

    Next stop, he can do a poop and she can change his adult diapers. Or he can wake her up crying for his 2 am feed.

    All very normal, fam.

    Liked by 1 person


    • on December 8, 2017 at 6:22 am strongwhitecock

      Hah! Freaks seem to be the norm these days. At least they’re trying to make it seem that way. The more weirdos like this come out of the wood work and get recognized in some news medium, the more people will believe this deviant behavior is normal, healthy, and acceptable. It’s all part of the fight against healthy heritage norms like heterosexual marriage based on love, traditional gender roles, and children instead of whatever freak fetish is cool this week.

      Like


    • There is a japanese movie on Netflix where a senile blind man is so confused that he begins milking his wife or daughter after the family cow dies. Just sayin…

      Like


  26. He’s a shitskin. Who cares if he’s alpha or beta. If a mudshark acts like a degenerate attention whore that surprises no one.

    Liked by 1 person


  27. CH add BAT publisher wallet so readers can donate BAT

    Like


  28. If she has no body graffiti she may make a 5 on a good day, and he’s some sort of mystery meat. In any event, these genes are NOT worthy of a continued existence. If he becomes “fully grown baby” and they don’t reproduce, that’s a win for the world.

    Like


  29. on December 8, 2017 at 7:28 am Southern WASP

    Degenerates.

    Like


  30. Coalburner face if I’ve ever seen it. Who knows how many future Braydens, Aydens, and Jaydens have been vacuumed out of her in the past.

    Like


  31. Beta to the core. It’s about her. If it was about him, she could use a breast pump and get a supply of milk built up for him in the fridge and then he could get the nutritional value without spending an hour of sucking on a boob to get 10 oz of milk.

    Like


  32. He’s not making a porn flick so, Omega-Cuck. From the puppy-dog look on his face, I guarantee, that’s not the only white liquid he’ll be furiously lapping up in submissive serenity. Only a loser-cuck thinks this is Alfa. This is a test, this is only a test. ):-)

    Like


  33. Hail the Alpha chick who got her bf to provide for her fat butt for the promise of her sucking where she feels pleasure

    Like


    • Nah, it’s worse than that. Nursing a boob is not something you would want to do every day or really at all. The novelty wears off quickly. It takes forever and your mouth gets tired.

      This guy is not alpha at all in any way shape or form. That ‘adult nursing relationship’ or whatever is entirely to the woman’s benefit and pleasure. She probably wants to do it because she is fucking fat and it’s a lazy way to burn calories, and she can do so while replicating the physical and hormonal sensations of a baby, which she is biologically evolved to enjoy.

      It’s not even a question. This takes betatude to a whole new level.

      Like


  34. If anybody thinks nursing off a woman is fun, it isn’t. Your jaw gets tired and it takes forever. Probably roughly equivalent to sucking a dick.

    I’ve been in a situation where my wife and I were separated for a long period of time from a nursing infant (got lost on a bike ride) and I drained her boobs because she was getting extremely uncomfortable. Tasted ok, but took a really long time. The novelty wears off very quickly.

    The guy in the above story is 0.00% alpha.

    That woman quit her job so her beta boyfriend can artificially replicate the physical and hormonal stimuli she should be getting from a baby.

    Like


  35. Shes a fatty ugg ugg. That in itself says something about the guy.

    Like


  36. As Austin Powers said, “Hey Baby! That’s a man!”.

    Like


  37. on December 8, 2017 at 10:55 pm Baron Ungern-Zimmerman (TM)

    Omega by reason of insanity. He could do better both in quality and quantity and her expression is dominant and his pained.

    Like