Reversing A Cold Shoulder

I hit a new club recently with a guy who runs a pickup workshop as a second job.  As soon as we entered I knew I had found paradise — the whole place was filled with East European babes.  I didn’t even need to see their round, high-cheekboned faces and pouty lips up close to know where they were born.  The classy and sophisticated, yet slightly tacky, fashion statements of the women were the tipoff.  Floor-length (real) fur coats and shiny black cocktail dresses were the norm.  The club resonated with the pleasing sounds of thick Russian accents until Gunther turned up the volume on the thumping eurotrash music and my ears began bleeding.

My buddy swooped in on two girls, a 5 and an 8.5, sitting at the bar.  I stood nearby to hear his game.  We had a code worked out so that when I saw that he had “hooked” the set (meaning, made the girls laugh) I would come in and ask if he had “seen Sarah”.  If he wanted me to wing for him he would introduce me to the girls.

As I stood nearby hidden by the crowd, I eavesdropped surreptitiously and learned that the two girls were Bulgarian.  The 8 was extremely cold, turning away to sigh and look at the dancefloor and generally make her displeasure known.  This was expected.  As I’ve written, women from the former Soviet Bloc are cold as ice on the approach and will shit test mercilessly to weed out the lesser men.  They respond well to mild insults, edgy teasing, condescension, and damning with faint praise.

My friend used the classic “Did you see the two girls fighting outside?” opener.  His game is high energy so this opener suits his style.  The hotter chick looked directly at him without cracking even the slightest smile and the following conversation ensued:

Her:  [imagine a heavy slavic accent] That sounds like a bad pickup line.
Him:  What, you don’t trust me?  If you can’t trust me how am I supposed to trust you?
Her:  I heard that line on a show about guys picking up girls.  There was no fight outside.

Now at this point most guys would have bailed, figuring that there was not only zero attraction, but in fact a negative vibe.  He plowed on.

Him:  [turning to the target’s friend]  Is she always like this?  I bet she questions everything you say just to be different.  How do you deal with her?  Let’s show her how to be fun.  [Friend laughs]
Her:  Oh, you are going to show me how to be fun?  That is very presumptuous for a guy who makes up stories.
Him:  Let me tell you what a real bad pickup line sounds like… you know, kind of like the lines you hear all the time from guys like these [motions around the room].  “Where are you from?”  “Can I buy you a drink?”  “What’s your sign?”  “You’re pretty.”  I bet you fall for those all the time.

That’s when it happened; the moment a deep, physical attraction was created.  A smile forced its way on her face and she laughed as her body turned in his direction.  The signs are always unmistakeable.

He then launched into a story about a kid on a tricycle flipping him the bird on Christmas Eve, and the girls were completely hooked.  He would focus his attention on one and the other would lean in and say to her friend “what did he just say?”  Frequently, they would interrupt him (as girls are wont to do since their minds tend to jump erratically from one topic to the next) and he used these breaks in the flow of conversation to say things like “Wow, your eyes are pretty… especially the right one.”

Women who believe game cannot create attraction, but can only amplify attraction that already exists, are wrong.  This guy, who was at least two points lower than the girl in the looks department, started in negative territory and turned it around.  That is because women’s attraction mechanisms are not the same as men’s.  To phrase it as an analogy:

As T&A is to men, personality is to women.





Comments


  1. on November 26, 2007 at 5:35 pm instantExcitement

    I agree with you. I love when a girl says she’s heard my lines before, or asks if I’ve read the game or watched the “Pick Up Artist” Most guys stumble and say something defensive. That’s the whole key, I think at least, is not to be defensive. The mind set has to be that she’s trying to impress me. I love to say, Yeah I did, and tell an anecdote from the game and say, I bet you fall for that type of stuff all the time, with a smirk. It almost always opens up the set to see that I’m not scared of her.

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  2. Here’s another comparison, Roissy: As “The Rules” are to women, so “Game” is to men.

    If the Rules (don’t accept a date after Wednesday; never call a man; always say goodbye first) irritate you, consider that the measure of how irritating “Game” can be to women, even when they/we can’t help but be drawn to an expert player at times.

    And no, the Rules aren’t an attempt to act like a man. They’re the old rules of dating for women, the rules of female aloofness that women used to follow in the first part of the 20th century, before everything changed.

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  3. Alias clio–the difference between the Game and the Rules is that the Game is tailored after what creates attraction in women.

    The Rules that you list: “don’t accept a date after Wednesday; never call a man; always say goodbye first” do not attract men. Any confident man with choices will not put up with such childish games and will move on to another woman.

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  4. alias – i agree that the rules will work to an extent, especially on provider betas who have no experience dealing with calculating women, but your analogy is off. as ben mentioned above, game is a full spectrum system for generating attraction in a woman, building comfort, closing the deal, and managing a relationship, including multiple concurrent relationships and threesomes with bisexual women if the man chooses to go that route and if his game is advanced enough to permit it.

    the rules will not make a man attracted to a woman; it will only get him to stick around a bit longer investing his resources in her AFTER she has already attracted him with her T&A.

    early game is specifically crafted to TURN A GIRL ON in much the same way a girl’s hourglass figure, tight ass, smooth skin, pert breasts, and pretty face turns a man on.

    you do not understand game if you think women would, or should, feel irritated by it. game has nothing to do with irritating women and everything to do with giving her the experience of a lifetime, whether that experience is a one night stand or a long term commitment.

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  5. on November 26, 2007 at 8:33 pm instantExcitement

    The game does not bother women, in fact most women are happy and enthralled at receiving attention as well as fun and interesting conversation. They only despise/get irritated with men who have game because they soon realize that the type of men they want, intelligent, confident, fun, interesting etc, won’t be taken control of. Men who follow the game are living a lifestyle of choice and substance. A guy who uses lines to pickup a girl does not have game, but a guy who understands how to build and keep attraction, comfort and rapport.

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  6. I believe what truly irritates some women about game is the prospect of going home with a man that doesn’t resemble the fantasy man many women feel they are entitled to.

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  7. There is a definite difference between putting someone in the mood to flirt vs. winning over someone who finds either you or your method unattractive. (or both.)

    I think it is really funny that your response to Alias Clio regarding the Rules is basically the same as what many women say about the Game. Yes, even alphas can be attracted based on a woman’s unavailability. Unavailability can be our way of signaling value, although I respect the men who don’t respond to that dynamic.

    You claim to adore these eastern euro. women and their shit testing, so I you’re being a little contradictory here. Isn’t shit testing just a counter-expression of value?

    Oh, and the one guy I let “game” me for a couple of hours (because his conversation was fascinating, although he was using some techniques that were clearly set pieces. My response was to call him on it, and push him out of his comfort zone into spontaneous conversation, which he actually liked) got really, really interested right when I decided that I didn’t care for his lack of honesty and jetted out of there. I was the only woman he tried to pursue after that night (which I know because all of the other women there were friends of mine–it was a birthday party that he crashed) and I was one of the least friendly/least willing to be led.

    A girl I knew in undergrad. used to game men into declaring their love for her. I stopped being friends with her over it, because I thought it was emotionally manipulative and cruel. Whenever one of you guys talk about “pumping and dumping” someone, that sounds equally cruel.

    Oh, and maybe they flit from one conversational topic to another because they think you’re attractive but boring.

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  8. Again, the Rules don’t build attraction in a man – a nice body and cute face do.

    For men, smarmy cockiness, humor and confidence (and being somewhat well groomed) will build attraction in women.

    They are both guides, yes – but for different aspects of male/female relations. The Rules is for keeping a beta man around and don’t really work on a guy who is alpha and seeing multiple women. As soon as one woman gets too difficult, he has choices and can move on.

    Pick up arts are not usually the best set of skills for keeping a long term relationship going. Aside from the focus on deep rapport, many of the other skills are not really needed once a woman is in love with you. You can be an a-hole and she’ll think of you as a project.

    Men and women are different, duh.

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  9. on November 26, 2007 at 9:32 pm instantExcitement

    While both sexes obviously think different, the game and the rules are quite different. One is a mind set, and the other is a way to control minds.

    Guys who use game to pick up a quality girl and then revert back to Beta status will get dumped or used, it’s pretty simple. Women who depend on the rules to keep a relationship going with an alpha will similarly find themselves alone.

    A guy that agrees to play by the rules is doing so because of a fear that he can’t do any better and will lose what little he has now. A girl that gets “gamed” does so because she’s attracted to the guy.

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  10. I don’t know, Roissy. The Rules aren’t likely to work on what you think of as a beta. Most of them don’t have enough self-confidence to stick around when a woman is resisting them too hard. On the other hand, I attracted the attention of a few alphas, in my time, simply by being unavailable.

    I’m not absolutely disagreeing with your ideas about Game – but there are times when I have found it irritating, even – or especially – when I was genuinely attracted to the man in question already. In other words, “game” can be a turn-on, but it also makes getting to know someone difficult. If what you want is a mate for life, it’s no fun to be “gamed” beyond a few dates. Particularly if you have no intention of sleeping with the gamester.

    Both “game” and the “Rules” are risky, because they can cost you someone’s interest. But both have the advantage that they’re ways of playing the mating game in a way intended to protect the feelings of the protagonist.

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  11. on November 26, 2007 at 10:28 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    Clio said: “The Rules aren’t likely to work on what you think of as a beta. Most of them don’t have enough self-confidence to stick around when a woman is resisting them too hard.”

    Fancy meeting you here, Clio. I disagree; I think The Rules are the best thing to ever happen to Betas. First, Betas are usually romantics and like all the hand-holding and long walks that lead up to the big moment. (Some Betas actually prefer the prelude to the actual event, but I’ll leave it at that.) Also, Betas don’t often make the dashing first impressions Alphas do, and often come across better on second or third dates, so Rules girls are the ones who will give them a chance at that.

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  12. it’s really not that hard to know what kind of man/woman you’re dealing with from the get go.

    i know when to rules a guy and i know which guys the rules will never work on. they let me know in the first week. i judge by their elasticity- can i lead through aloofness or not?
    true Rulesing is virtually impossible today. most men who are interested in me have other options, so unless they think i’m totally swell, all of my bs isn’t going to cut it. that’s why i don’t ‘date’ anyone anymore. 3 dates and no sex is going to lead nowhere. but 1 party + 1 museum trip + 1 frisbee toss in the park (all with other people) will! haha!

    i think no matter what we choose to believe, most people are incredibly transparent. when a man is lying, i know he is lying, but i usually choose to believe the lies because i get psychological ecstasy from it. joy! also, i’ve dated guys who have told the pure truth to my face- i don’t want a girlfriend, and i still went for it. yep, we believe what we want to believe.

    my mind tends to jump erratically from one topic to the next

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  13. that was me #13! you know how i feel about anons

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  14. It was pointless for your friend.

    As they were waiting for a cab, I pulled up along side in the LawMaster. The next stop was the East Side Motel.

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  15. This is one post where I actually agree with you. 🙂 I’ll be polite to any guy who talks to me in a bar, but I’d actually rather have some guy try to run game on me than ask me boring “getting to know you” questions because it’s refreshing and more fun. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of women feel this way. I don’t go home with men I’ve just met in bars, but I’d be more likely to be interested rather than annoyed by that approach.

    I think it’s only questionable when it goes over the top, like the group of guys who hit on my friends and me on Saturday night who were all obviously peacocking (strange hats, scarves with t-shirts, etc.), neg-ing us, and doing the twirl-her-out-of-her-seat even though we were standing, which was totally awkward. I tried to be polite until I couldn’t take it anymore. There comes a point where the game can’t conceal the fact that a guy is a boring asshole.

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  16. these blogs and comments are fascinating and depressing all at the same time. Keep it coming. Im hooked.

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  17. on November 27, 2007 at 3:52 am scary place to run game

    “…one in 20 adults in Washington has HIV and one in 50 has AIDS, he noted.”

    1 in 20!!!!

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071126/ts_nm/aids_usa_washington_dc

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  18. did she go home with him? or she entertain his presence b/c she was bored and he provided a distraction?

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  19. my ding ding dong

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  20. a true game lord, could bring DA back into the land of the living.

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  21. It’s a very nice fairy tale, that even some ugly fuckface can create attraction just by acting in the right way…

    I don’t know, I’ve seen many very smart men, who I would think have learned something, crash and burn badly, and most of them aren’t very handsome.

    I barely got any game (I can probably compare to a dead fish in terms of game), yet I do get get women (and men) opening me all the time (well, often…) with some bad pickup lines.(“Ohh, which part of Italy are you from?”). Works for me.

    “As T&A is to men, personality is to women.” – That is somewhat untruthful..

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  22. a true game lord, could bring DA back into the land of the living.

    Jesus himself couldn’t bring DA back from the island of misfit males… 🙂

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  23. DA is the test, not the easily manipulated XX’s

    come on professor higgins, put your expertise to good use and help this fellow. this is how legends are created…

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  24. DA doesn’t want to date or have sex, that is obvious. You can’t do much when someone doesn’t want it.

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  25. Actually, it’s more along the idea that David’s just too lazy and too conflicted to go and “fight” for dates and sex, especially when he can get a quick and cheap orgasm through porn. Plus that game stuff just doesn’t click with my personality.

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  26. m bradwell:
    Yes, even alphas can be attracted based on a woman’s unavailability.

    not without the right combination of looks and body. using the rules will only work on an alpha male who is already attracted to the girl and inexperienced dealing with such female gameplaying.
    an unattractive girl making herself unavailable will find it very easy to stay that way.

    Isn’t shit testing just a counter-expression of value?

    no, it’s a way for the woman to determine the man’s worth as a sexual partner. since personality plays such a big role in a man’s sexual market value and any weakness in it is hard to ferret out from a short conversation, women employ shit-tests to gauge if he is the real deal.
    in fact, a shit test is a good sign. it means the woman is interested enough to want to see if there is a dual-cam turbocharged engine under the hood of his mustang.

    I was the only woman he tried to pursue after that night

    beta.

    A girl I knew in undergrad. used to game men into declaring their love for her.

    this type of girl is just a variety of validation-seeker, (albeit a more dangerous one), and no different than a girl who fishes for compliments, dances on bars, or gets men to buy her drinks.
    if these men are declaring their love for her before they have had sex then that makes them beta chumps.
    if it happens after they have had sex, then any emotional pain she might have caused the guys would be assuaged by the hot sex.

    Whenever one of you guys talk about “pumping and dumping” someone, that sounds equally cruel.

    if a girl is constantly suffering the ignominy of getting sport fucked then she probably has set her sights too high.

    Oh, and maybe they flit from one conversational topic to another because they think you’re attractive but boring.

    just the opposite.
    when a girl finds a guy boring she stops talking altogether.
    when she is attracted to him she gets animated and her emotional hardwiring kicks in full force, unleashing a torrent of scattershot musings and flirtatiously disjointed banter.

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  27. alias:
    The Rules aren’t likely to work on what you think of as a beta. Most of them don’t have enough self-confidence to stick around when a woman is resisting them too hard.

    what you are describing are omegas.
    most betas i know fall for rules girls pretty hard.
    it’s the alphas who can’t be corraled by such transparent techniques.

    In other words, “game” can be a turn-on, but it also makes getting to know someone difficult.

    i understand this complaint. early editions of game, especially as practiced by noobs, suffered from a lack of emphasis on building rapport with a woman.
    better game… and a man’s general level of experience with women… show in his attentiveness to her need for a real connection before having sex.
    that means really listening, something most guys have no idea how to do.

    But both have the advantage that they’re ways of playing the mating game in a way intended to protect the feelings of the protagonist.

    women have more to lose by jumping in and out of relationships as their clock ticks faster than men’s, and so the rules do serve as a defensive measure for them as well as a technique for getting what they want from men.
    game, otoh, is less about protecting a man’s delicate ego than it is about successfully unlocking the secret to a steady supply of sex.
    in fact, mastering game requires a lot of ego-bruising rejection in the early going.

    rina:
    but 1 party + 1 museum trip + 1 frisbee toss in the park (all with other people) will! haha!

    take out the other people on dates 2 and 3 and you have just described my ideal summertime 3 date sequence.

    tracy:
    did she go home with him? or she entertain his presence b/c she was bored and he provided a distraction?

    there were enough guys in there that if she was bored with my friend she didn’t need him around as a distraction. when a chick is bored she normally wants the guy to leave as quickly as possible.
    he got her #.

    raphael:
    It’s a very nice fairy tale, that even some ugly fuckface can create attraction just by acting in the right way…

    within bounds.
    an ugly guy will obviously need a lot more advanced game than a good-looking guy to snag a hot chick. but it is possible. and the handsome guy can easily destroy his chances by saying the wrong things.

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  28. I have to say that I’ve never run across a more sordid batch of cynics in my entire life as the posters on this site. You’ll be here forever at this rate, going around in your endlessly destructive circles trying to improve your “game”. On your deathbed are you going to wish you’d spent more time improving your “game”? Are you going to kick yourself for not becoming the #! undisputed Superman of game players? Who will be beside you on your deathbed? Your partner in game running? Won’t that be special??? Well, at least most of you have good vocabularies and a nice command of the English language. Enjoy.

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