Beta Of The Month: Epic Showdown

Occasionally, CH showcases truly abhorrent beta males as “teachable moments” for the gathered readership, with the hope that readers will learn what kinds of behavior to avoid in their dealings with women (and men). This edition of Beta Of The Month (BOTM) features a smashmuff vagina-off between not two, not three, but FIVE detestable beta males for the honor of the bestest beta forever (BBF).


BOTM Candidate #1 was submitted by an anonymous emailer. A loosely-termed man does a poetry slam (faggot SWPL manboob alert) about his travails getting friendzoned all through high school. Instead of learning from his excruciatingly recollected misery, he instead chooses more of the same self-flagellation that got him nothing. (The stomach-turning point is at 2:09):

The psychological similarity between the liberal supine beta male and the liberal feminist fat apologist is striking. Both prefer to indict the boogeyman of inegalitarian societal expectation rather than admit their miserable outcomes in life are brought on by their own actions. Admitting their agency would mean admitting the power to improve their romantic lives is in their own hands, and that’s a power that is frightening to those types who wallow in the phantom freedom of powerlessness. Admitting that their romantic failure makes them miserable would mean admitting there is an intractable biological directive which cannot be disobeyed without inviting unhappy consequences, and that’s an ugly truth the ideologically bound equalist can’t handle.

Accepting power into one’s life means surrendering the martyr’s podium. Like any addict, that martyr’s podium is the only thing keeping the self-abnegating status whores tethered to sanity. Withdrawal is a bitch.

(Buttonhole Poetry, amirite?)


BOTM Candidate #2 was submitted by el chief. You have to wonder about a man who would agree to having this photo taken:

The cake icing reads, “Sorry about the divorce.” The crazy-eyed chihuahua lady is divorcing our intrepid beta, and rubbing his face in that fact. Now whether she’s just a sperg who didn’t mean no harm, or a sadist who likes to drive home the humiliation, is hard to say. Either way, he’s a huge beta for 1) letting their marriage decay to the point where she felt comfortable pulling this stunt on him and 2) standing there like a goof proudly displaying her heel mark on his face.


BOTM Candidate #3 was submitted by another anonymous acolyte of the lord of the flies. A divorced man gives advice to still-married men. His checklist reads like a rectal ring history of how many ass rammings he suffered at the hands of women pegging his delicate flower ego over the course of his stillborn life. See for yourself:

1. Never stop courting. – “Never forget that, as the husband, you are a second-class citizen who can lose it all in a second.”
2. Protect your own heart. – Meaningless pabulum, given the contradicting advice directly above it.
3. Fall in love over and over again. –  Kind of hard to do when your wife gets fat and bitchy.
4. Always see the best in her. – What if she just took a dump on your jazz LP collection?
5. It’s not your job to change or fix her. – So it’s not her job to change or fix you, either, right? Right?
6. Take full accountability for your own emotions. – “If you’re mad she cheated, that’s your problem. Deal with it.”
7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry. – “I’m sorry I made you cheat on me, honey.”
8. Allow your woman to just be. – “You want to screw a mandingo while I watch? I love it when you’re just being you!”
9. Be silly. – Easier than being dominant.
10. Fill her soul everyday. – May as well, since you won’t be filling anything else of hers.
11. Be present. – Because you don’t have a life outside of her incessant chatter.
12. Be willing to take her sexually. – This is the only good piece of advice in the whole list.
13. Don’t be an idiot. – Better yet, don’t be a beta pushover.
14. Give her space. – …to eat, pray, love.
15. Be vulnerable. – Cause you know how much those sexy babes love sensitive new age men!
16. Be fully transparent. – “I really want to stick my dick in the neighbor’s teenage daughter.”
17. Never stop growing together. – Not a problem in America.
18. Don’t worry about money. – If you’re a beta male, money is about the only leverage you have. Deleverage yourself at your peril.
19. Forgive immediately. – “I forgive you for withholding sex from me for five years.”
20. Always choose love. – You know what they call men who always choose love, no matter what? Stalkers.

Fuckin A, I feel dirty.


BOTM Candidate #4 was submitted by… well, by the universe. His name is: John Scalzi. *boom* And the mic gets dropped.

John Scalzi, for those of you who don’t know, is some kind of pulp sci-fi writer and avowed male feminist icon, two things which ought not go together, and which probably explains the dire condition of modern sci-fi. He recently was the unwilling subject of a funny male feminist meme when a prankster, (not CH, for the record, though if Scalzi wants to publicize his humiliation, why stop him?), grabbed a photo of him in his Sunday finest and hoisted him by his own retard.

First thing that comes to mind when I look at that pic is whether he stuffs his bra, or if that’s natural. Next thing I wonder is if he’s pregnant. And, finally, if the dog ate his inflated blog stats.

Scalzi was so butthurt by this misappropriation of his militant male effeminacy, that he struck back with a resounding declaration of how little he cared that people were calling him a feminist. I mean, come on, the guy’s got 20,000 acres to sow his domesticated oats. How many acres do you own?

(How faggoty do you have to be to use a term like “dudebro”?)

Scalzi’s nom for BOTM was the result of his life’s work in support of a national gelding project for white men. Here, for instance, is Scalzi declaiming that anyone who mocks his milquetoast feminist orthodoxy is a “woman-fearing moron”. And here is his infamous “anti-racism” Yankee Poodle status-whoring heretic-hunting gibberish comparing life as a white man to a video game on the lowest difficulty setting. (Anyone know the racial composition of Scalzi’s neighborhood?)

Regarding that last linked post, if you plan to communicate with a eunuch nerd such as Scalzi, you have to speak the language of the eunuch nerd. Now it’s been a long time since I tapped a video game for love, but I recall that playing an RPG-style game on the easiest setting meant that you would earn experience points more slowly than a player playing at a higher difficulty setting. You would also earn less treasure, and less valuable treasure. So I suppose what our eunuch nerd is trying to say is that non-whites advance faster in their careers and make more money.

Of course, Scalzi’s whole premise is garbage of the smelliest kind, but that’s to be expected from a PC-drenched eunuch nerd who refuses to acknowledge that races differ biologically and thus that any resulting “privilege” one race has over another in a culture full of vibrant diversity is an organically emergent phenomenon necessarily caused by differing innate abilities. Never mind the broader implications undermining this “anti-privilege” moral posturing that nations are, almost by definition, political structures designed to privilege its citizens over non-citizens. And that, as families and individuals, we all are trying our best to privilege us and ours over everyone else. To do otherwise would be folly. Scalzi, perhaps you’d like to forfeit your privileged 20 acres for a mule?

Some may recall that Scalzi was the inspiration for this term of art coined by yours truly, (although King A has his crackpot legal team assembled to prove he deserves equal coinage credit):

Scalzied is similar to being afflicted with palsy. The body and mind contort to accommodate delusional pabulum.

Instead of picking one nauseatingly trademark example of Scalzi’s betatude from among the mountain of betatudination he has amassed, a feat which would require an immense amount of man hours, (a concept with which Scalzi, as a lurching nerd member in slouched standing of the Ascended Testes Society, would have no familiarity), the entire oeuvre of his betatude is here presented for consideration of his rightful place on the Throne of Manboobs. May he wear his crown of tampons well.


BOTM Candidate #5 was submitted by too many readers to count. A Polish woman of questionable allure wants to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for the ignominy of sleeping with 100,000 men. But since this contest is Beta of the Month, and not Mentally Deranged Slut of the Month, we have to read into the story a bit deeper to find our corrupted soul of a broken beta male.

Ania Lisewska, 21, is allegedly attempting to travel to every city in the world so she can have sex with at least 100,000 men for 20 minutes each.

A reader calculated this honorable goal to work out to 28 men per day, for ten pre-wall years, (that number will have to come down considerably, post-wall). About 9 hours of sex per day at 20 minutes per man.

“I want men from Poland, Europe and all around the world. I love sex, fun and men,” she said, according to the Austrian Times. “In Poland the subject of sex is still taboo and anyone who wants to fulfill their sexual fantasies is considered a deviant, a whore or mentally ill.”

A working definition of mentally ill is: Are you the only woman out of one million women who has this need?

The supposed sex marathon allegedly began last month in Warsaw, according to her Facebook page, and she hopes to have her way across Poland before moving to other countries.

So far, she’s had sex with 284 men, according to and didn’t let the fact she has a serious boyfriend stop her.

He told the Polish language website he was “not thrilled” with her unusual hobby, but had no choice and “had to come to terms” with it.

There’s our beta.

The problem with stories like this one is the likelihood it’s a scam or a troll. However, if real, you have to give standing O beta props to this boyfriend who has “come to terms” with his girlfriend getting drilled like a Saudi oil field. And you can bet, despite subconscious misgivings, that feminists and their manboy lackeys, like “dudebro” above, will praise such a feeble, crooked specimen of manhood for his nonjudgmentalism and refusal to abide horrible double standards based in discredited biology.

I think that’s enough mucking around in filth for a day. To the vote…

The Epic Showdown Beta of the Month is...


  1. Actuallt, the BOTM is always about #2, because Scalzi is the Lifetime Achievement Award Beta (i.e. perpetual #1 BOTM).


    • #2 wasnt just a divorce cake it was a birthday divorce cake…. ugh


    • Agreed. I watched the video, and the poet wasn’t too bad, just pitiable…..until the 2:09 mark where he demonstrates that he is a young male feminist. A proto-scalzi. Or put another way, he has become scalzified.

      Voting for Scalzi (as I did) is more an ode to the excellent evisceration that CH has performed on him in this post. It is…..a thing of beauty. A tear came to my eye (just one eye, both eyes tearing is reserved for my dog dying or equivalent) as I contemplated the artistry of ridicule that this deserving target had heaped upon his dessert plate.

      Scalzi exemplifies betadom. Sure he’s married and has a child (probably his, can you imagine his wife getting laid elsewhere?), but damn, that is some serious collection of all that is betadom.


    • Kim du Toit! 🙂 I used to read you way back when. Glad to see you around.

      And yes, I was going to vote Scalzi, but you’re correct. He’s the most annoying person now that Hugo Danger is off skulking while trying to figure out how to dupe more feminists.

      I vote for the divorce guy. The Polish guy sounds like a scam, to me.


    • It’s impossible to argue with Mr. du Toit’s logic. And despite a very credible effort, I can’t, in good conscience, vote for McRapey. He may be the original scalzied manboob, but he’s still not quite as hapless as #3.


    • Kim, great to see you. Your site was my first exposure to the red pill. Thanks.

      Got to go with #3. Even after a bitch slap of divorce, his advice is still as pathetic as #1 is. #2 has not had time to fully release his hamster.

      VD already does a enjoyable beat down of McRapey.


    • on August 31, 2013 at 1:54 pm Doctor Mayhem

      # 5 Can’t be NORMAL. He is way too low to be a beta. Put his weak assume on the running for omega of the month.


    • on August 31, 2013 at 4:55 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)


      hey heratsietz!!! i bakedz a cake for da chcick in the picturesz!!!

      lotsas cokas cakez!!!



    • on August 31, 2013 at 6:25 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      hey heraruetstes!! heatrtistessz!!!!!

      someday i hope to meet youz at our book tour during our book stourz and i will sing a duet with you at da barnes and noblesz to all da hipsterz who came for our book sisgznizngz zlzoz:

      we’ve got tonighgzt heartsietsz
      who needs tomorrowz?


      • tonight gay and lesbian sex will not provide us with children tomorrow

        gays and lesbians are contributing to the race replacement program in place right now in Western Nations


      • Why don’t you get some “zzzzz’s” so the rest of us can read legible posts? This is the second time I have run into your nonsensical “z” posts, and it’s more annoying than humorous.


    • Oh man I just read the reddit thread where the guy posted this pic.

      Depressing shit. On the upside, he still is a tall, white decent looking guy, so he’ll probably end up banging some cute chicks in their early 20s. Otherwise can someone force feed him a red pill?

      His praying mantis shrew of an ex only has 2-3 years of pump and du p in her, before shecstarts hoarding cas


    • Kim, glad to see you around. I automatically voted Scalzi before reading this. (Scalzi would LOSE against most SF writers of true pulp: Ringo, Kratman, Williamson, even Pournelle (despite the fact Jerry is getting quite old. Hell, Sarah Hoyt or Lois Bujold would probably beat him as well).

      Without considering the new breed like Larry Correa 🙂


  2. The fucker with the cake. Too ashamed to even look at the camera.


    • Yeah… the pained okay-I’ll-be-a-good-sport-and-try-to-smile look on his face nearly made me launch my lunch.

      The picture should have her wearing the cake and him with the shit-eatin’ grin.


    • He should be ashamed. The fact that he is means he’ll be okay. Hopefully there are no children. Her, on the other hand: well, she looks to have enough rope. Its just a matter of time now. Revenge is never necessary. It tends to take care of itself. Hopefully this post brings him here for a brighter future.


    • cake boy… she gavehim the cake for/on his birthday… ch must not of known that. i would of beat her, locked her in a closet, got all her stuff put it in her car and burned it then fly to Costa rica


    • With the matching eyebrows on that couple, how could it’ve gone wrong?


    • Yep, I voted for poor bumbling anal-rape divorce-cake dude.

      Actually kinda felt sorry for him.

      Bitch with that creepy wide-eyed Borderline/Sociopathic Personality Disorder grin on her face looks like pure unadulterated evil.

      As long as there aren’t any kids involved, dude might very well be better off in the long run.


      • > “As long as there aren’t any kids involved”

        Well, apparently there are kids involved.

        Death. Of. Civilization.

        Purchase more ammunition.

        Prepare for the Dark Times.


      • Yeah, a divorcing wife who would smile like that has a dead soul. Do hope there are no kids, or fi there are, the photo is brought into court to help him get custody.

        I voted for the beta-advice guy, I just get so tired of that stuff online. They are trying to bring other men down to their level rather than freeing themselves and getting in touch with their real desires.

        The guy whose steady gf is sleeping with hundreds of other guys, well I just hope he’s out sampling the local female population. If she wants to think he’s her bf, it doesn’t necessarily hurt him, maybe it gives him social proof or something.


    • I voted for him as well. The fact that he has such a low opinion of himself that he’d agree to debase himself so as to not piss off his maybe-6-in-a-good-day psycho ex-wife doing this deliberately out to spite him was physically painful to me.


    • that is not just any divorce cake… its his birthday. She gave him a divorce cake for his birthday. I wonder if she milks cows for a living, I know no other way a person can develop forearms and hands like that. Other then the obvious backroom massage parlor assistant…


    • 1, 3 and 4 are all putting on some kind of performance. Cake fucker’s just fucked. The humiliation is palpable.


    • on August 30, 2013 at 7:14 pm Carlos Danger

      And the cake wife is ecstatic. He should have dropped it and let her pick it up.


      • on August 31, 2013 at 10:00 am Esteban Hazard

        Smash it in her face, actually.


      • Nah. Bring it into court. Smashing it would get him in legal trouble for assault or something. Perhaps she was trying for that.

        Keep emotions under control when under attack, that has saved my ass many times in life. It’s bitter but take it.

        Revenge is a dish best served cold.


    • I don’t think he’s ashamed. I think the photo was setup by psycho chihuahua and he has only just seen what is written on the cake.


    • I’d make him a cake for free that says “Screw you, bitch. Your sister was tighter.”

      What’s up with her praying mantis arm?


  3. I picked #1, and I suspect he would be BOTM if people on the blog all watched the video. I voted for him, though I will admit it takes some level of self-confidence to perform publicly; and given that it has almost 400,000 views, I’m sure he’s achieved enough pseudofame that he manages to get laid once in awhile.

    It’s also possible that #2 actually initiated the divorce or didn’t care and that his wife is the one using humor as her own hamster. Also she is cute, so he had to do something to marry her in the first place.

    #5, as you say, is probably made up.


    • ya at least the chick with the cake is thin…
      tho it kinda gives me the heebie jeebies that her forearms are bigger than her upper arms


  4. on August 30, 2013 at 3:03 pm gunslingergregi

    100,000 would be funny if that was normal for some bitches they just don’t talk about it and the book won’t get published


    • I don’t think there is a woman alive that can sleep with a 100,000 men. Hell, I don’t know if a 100 is possible. Women are not men.

      It has an effect on a woman’s looks, exactly like smoking, drugs & alcohol do. Women that had lots of sex with different partners look so used an abused. It’s a bridge to aging.


      • “It has an effect on a woman’s looks…”
        Lily i kinda noticed this myself but can you expand on that or throw out any links to stuff on this?


      • “Lily i kinda noticed this myself but can you expand on that or throw out any links to stuff on this?”

        Women are really not designed (physically and mentally ) to have sex with lots of different partners. You don’t need studies to prove this (although if one has them, that’ll be nice). You can just observe it yourself.

        Aurini says “It’s funny; sex-crazed and loyal girlfriends end up glowing, while the frequently used-and-abused show it on the surface of their skin.” Yeah, that’s exactly it. The woman having lots of sex with her husband looks glowing, while the woman with different partners often looks used up.

        The most ideal is a woman having one life partner. Yeah, one. That’s it.

        Unfortunately since the sexual revolution, this idea is going down to hell in a hand basket. Women give men a run for their money in the sex department, as they compete with men even on that very traditional male domain. The result is that the number of men willing to get married is fewer and fewer each year. Why marry a woman that could be satisfied by an array of men? She doesn’t really need you. That’s why a virgin is so alluring to normal men who haven’t been feminized. She is a clean slate. He could mold her sexuality. He likes the idea her pleasure is his.

        Anyway, because it’s going to hell in a hand basket, men that still want to get married and have kids kinda have to improvise. By that I mean, try to look for the lesser of 2 evils. If you can’t get the virgin because there isn’t one in your vicinity, at least go for the very low-count semi good-girl, and keep in mind that all women are victims and prisoners of this feminist society, so be compassionate. Meaning, don’t hold it against a woman if she really has a low count. Women have been brainwashed since grade school to be slutty. They are not even conscious of the process and how it ruins their lives in the end. They run from man to man looking for that one love that eludes, while they end up settling for a beta in their 30s whom they’ll divorce later, or never getting married. I heard new stats this week that the number of unmarried or childless women over 35 has grown this year. This brings us to the next point. Why does it show on the face.

        Captains Courageous is right. He says: “It’s not the amount of sex that a woman has that ages her. It’s the strain from all the rationalising she’s having to do to keep her princess delusions alive.” Yeah, that’s about right.

        Most women want to get married, even the sluttiests barslut who runs from man to man. Don’t believe women have sex for the sake of having sex like men do. OK, except very rare crazies like the one that wants to sleep with 100,000 men. Women like her are very, very rare. Most women have sex with a guy because they think it will trap him and he’ll want to get married. Women want to secure the men “in which their bodies were invested”. That need for security causes emotional and psychological strain. Every woman keeps mulling things in her head, and that causes an unhealthy preoccupation and fixation with her situation:

        – Does he love me enough
        – Does he respect me enough
        – Is he just with me for the sex
        – Am I good
        – When is he going to ask me
        – Should I bring it up
        – Can he live without me if I leave him
        – Should I leave him because I feel he’s wasting my time
        – If I leave, I know he won’t care that much, so I won’t leave and buy time maybe he’ll come around
        – I don’t wanna waste too much time though
        – I need to make him jealous and see if he cares
        – I’ll go out with the girls tonight and tell him someone asked for my number…………

        Get the picture? It eats her up inside. It causes worry; It causes mental anguish; it causes obsession when she should be thinking about other things; she lives in constant dread.

        Apropos, living in dread could be good for the sex temporarily, but it’s not good for the psyche in the long run. Worrying takes a toll. Did your mom ever tell you worrying about you gives her gay hair? I think there is truth to that.

        Add insult to injury, when a woman has a few of these dreadful relationships with men who don’t want to commit, or more likely because she doesn’t know how to create the right conditions to make him want to commit to her, she ends up with lots of emotional baggage – bitter, angry, frustrated, scornful, cynical, she becomes hateful and judgmental of men, she starts empowering herself though feminism, and even some turn to lesbianism if they have been burned enough.

        This is why “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” (rejected in love).


      • Another thing I wanted to add to the issue of feminists/lesbians is that they really teach other women to be horrible.

        “At UNC Chapel Hill, there is a feminist professor who believes that women can lead happy lives without men. That’s nothing new. But what’s different is that she thinks women can form lifelong domestic partnerships with dogs and that those relationships will actually be fulfilling enough to replace marital relationships with men.”

        I think we once discussed here how women substitute dogs for male companionship. Here is more proof of that perversion. This is all a manifestation of what I said above. A woman scorned becomes an ugly male-hating creature, to the point she thinks a dog can substitute a man. That’s another ugh!


      • Yes and no. Sure all women want to get married. But I’ve known too many married women who cheated multiple times to believe that women have sex only to get a husband.


      • No, I didn’t mean they have sex only to get a husband; just that it’s a major factor in the equation. As far as cheating, they cheat because the sex isn’t good with their beta hubbies. Trust me; a man that can satisfy a woman’s cravings for dominance is her whole life, to the point she doesn’t even fantasize about other men, let alone cheat.

        What women want is to secure a dominate husband, and they also want him to remain faithful. So, in essence, they want a faithful alpha or a badboy that stopped his badboy habits because of his love for his woman. Isn’t it what all romance novels are about? 50 shades and the like.

        It’s a fantasy that is almost nonexistent. The badboy has a bad boy cheater built in. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be a badboy if he could curb his appetite for variety. That said, some men are alpha, but not bad boys. Those can control their appetite for the sake of the bigger picture of having a family, kids, a career, and a structured life. Although, I’m not sure many women can recognize those men as alphas and desire them more than badboys.


      • It’s funny; sex-crazed and loyal girlfriends end up glowing, while the frequently used-and-abused show it on the surface of their skin.


      • on August 31, 2013 at 3:32 am Captains Courageous

        It’s not the amount of sex that a woman has that ages her. It’s the strain from all the rationalising she’s having to do to keep her princess delusions alive.

        The mileage of a women’s hamster-wheel eventually becomes etched on her face.


      • Also the booze.

        Partying until dawn and then passing out with a BAC of 0.10, two or three times a week, can start to take its toll pretty quickly.

        Compare the visage of Lindsay Lohan, or that scrawny j*wish bitch from England – Amy Winehead or Whitehouse or WTFE her stupid faux-assimiliationist name was.

        Poor girl.


      • autoimmune reaction to unknown sperm?


      • 100 is totally possible. From sophomore year in high school, through 5 years of college and the 1 to 2 post college years that some girls still have college mentality, it would only be 1 new guy about every 5 weeks. And think of the multiple times where it would have been a new guy every week for a 2 to 3 week span, the crazy weekend where they visited a friend at another college could add up to 2 more guys, the 3 trips to spring break where they definitely got with 2 to 3 guys. Pretty soon the numbers add up. I met a girl once who had already had sex with 26 guys by the time she graduated high school, and college is usually where the motor really starts to crank. I met two different girls who had sex with 6 different random guys over a week on spring break.

        But I do agree with you on the toll it takes on the looks. If a girl was that adamant, 100 would be the point of a huge downturn in looks akin to smoking 3 packs a day, so the ascent would really slow down at that point.


      • > “I met a girl once who had already had sex with 26 guys by the time she graduated high school, and college is usually where the motor really starts to crank. I met two different girls who had sex with 6 different random guys over a week on spring break.”

        Death. Of. Civilization.


      • Feminism has “produced” ( there has to be a better word) a hundred times more whores than female engineers, airline pilots, heart surgeons etc

        Nice work feminists! ( we know some of you are reading ) No one has done more damage to women than you feminists…


      • I know a girl who smokes and has slept with nearly 100 people (most of them guys).

        My wife, on the other hand, was a virgin until she met me.

        These two are the same age, but my wife looks at least 15 years younger.


      • on August 31, 2013 at 10:02 am Hugh G. Rection

        100 easily, even in a year. Ever seen a whorehouse?


      • have you seen your average street whores, they really look like whores i.e. fugly to yhe max.


      • Women who’ve been in the “sex worker” biz always have a used-up look. Huge turnoff to me. Huge. It’s not the same as being world-weary from wisdom. It’s just being used up.

        I believe she’s over 100 but under 1000, no way will she reach 100,000. After this story is out I imagine her “conquests” will become harder, who wants to be number 1000? What is the probability she is NOT full of STD’s by now? Approaching zero by now.


      • It’s the drinking man, they drink a lot.

        I’ve hung out with escorts on several occasions.

        They also have money like you wouldn’t believe but they piss it all away.

        Good girls to go shopping with, very generous if they like you.


      • Testing, I had trouble posting a minute ago …


      • According to her web-site, she’s currently at 394 men since May 15. That’s an average of 4 a day. 68 years to 100,000 at this rate…


      • on September 1, 2013 at 8:15 am Captains Courageous

        #5 When a man agrees to his “girlfriend” fucking other men, she is a whore and he is a cunt. Whether its one guy or 100,000 is immaterial.

        That said, the sheer comedy potential of this story prevents me from giving it my vote.


      • 394 men already, I wanna throw up. I’m really disgusted. And she’s only 21.

        At first I thought she was in her late 40s, early 50s. No way she looks 21. How can a woman have sex with 400 men by 21? That’s the reason she looks so awful.

        And her BF still sleeps with her? Her pussy must stink. Ugh,ugh, ugh.


      • I have acquaintances ( men ) who have slept with a different woman almost every week for a few years

        the type of women that they pick up in bars and discotheque also sleep with different men almost every week

        in two years they can break the 100 limit easily

        in this day and age in North America men and women who have had sex with over 100 partners may be a minority but they are not rare, they are on the rise actually

        women who get drunk also get laid more often and more easily than other women, and we all know these days young women do drink a lot

        Facebook is my witness… sort of speak


      • It’s probably most likely the mental illness aging her. The promiscuity and the bad aging have a common source, the mental illness.


  5. I voted for Scalzi because of his philosophical support for everything, but I can definitely understand why people would vote for the Polish nympho’s wittol.


    • on September 1, 2013 at 8:30 am Captains Courageous

      #4 This self-castrating nerd is too much of a clown to get my vote. We should count the fact that he’s an advocate for the opposition, as a win.


  6. I voted for poetry boy, only because I actually know people like this and they really, really, really, really, really, really make my skin crawl. Really.

    I’d like to know more behind the divorce cake. If he didn’t want the divorce, and wasn’t expecting the cake, then he rockets to #1 in my book.

    The 100,000-dick whore’s “boyfriend” is obviously the worst, but I need more evidence that he a) exists, b) actually said that stuff.


    • I voted for poetry boy, only because I actually know people like this and they really, really, really, really, really, really make my skin crawl. Really.

      Yeah… but below Scalzi because I imagine Scalzi was like this at his age, and poetry boy could change between now and then so as not to become a future Scalzi.

      The 100,000-dick whore’s “boyfriend” is obviously the worst, but I need more evidence that he a) exists, b) actually said that stuff.

      Here’s another picture of her. Note how fat she is… and remember that this is Poland, where fat chicks are much rarer than here in Amurrica.

      And a closer look at her face, without makeup.

      After seeing these two images, I’ve decided that her boyfriend definitely earns the title… even over Scalzi.


      • This post is hilarious. It’s hard to choose.

        John Scalzi is funny in that dress. But the BF of the “Polish woman of questionable allure” who on the face of it looks really pathetic, is probably with this woman only for satisfying his weird fetishes. I don’t know how beta he is. He is just weird.

        The most beta are either candidates #1 or #3. Poetry boy is really a sad chap, but divorce man’s marriage advice is music to feminist ears, instead, he ends up spilling seed every night alone.

        So it’s a tossup between those two at this point.


      • on September 1, 2013 at 9:01 am Captains Courageous

        #3 Couldn’t vote for this self-flagellating, tard either. His “20 anti-poon commandments” will probably get a mention in his suicide note.


    • I also voted for the poetry guy. Watching him made my stomach turn. I actually hate him.


      • What made me hate him was his calculated use of “f*cking” at the point CH indicated, as a sort of proud badge of his manboobery.


      • There is indeed much to hate about slam poetry guy.

        What did it for me, and won my vote, was the way in which he very deliberately went the extra mile in degrading himself, with little trace of redeeming anger or bitterness that might’ve betrayed some residual spark of dignity. Instead, like an inhuman drone programmed to grovel, he gleefully bleated the feminist mantra that all men are rapists, even – no, especially – the self-consciously chivalrous ones.

        How fucked up and twisted, by vile ideology, do you have to be to recount how you’ve always acted with honourable intentions and yet, in the end, when looking in the mirror, you behold a monster? Behold the feminist New Beta Male perfected.

        The others, apart from Scalzi, seem to bear their betatude with an air of resigned acceptance, even stoicism, an attitude hard to wholly despise. An attitute one suspects they adopted before falling into the circumstances that brought them to our attention (indeed, it’s precisely that beta attitude which led to their humiliation here) and, I’d speculate, not a mindset that would’ve changed significantly as a result of getting fucked over – in contrast to poetry guy, who’s trebled down on The Narrative to plumb new depths of public self-loathing in pursuit of status.

        That’s what marks him out as the most debased and disgusting. He’s actually proud of his emasculation, he’s made it his job.

        Scalzi, as a self-appointed priest of The Cathedral, is in an entirely different category, perhaps best described as anti-beta (if ‘beta’ can be partly defined as the hard working Nice Guy whose efforts maintain civilization) although ‘rope-worthy’ might be more appropriate.


    • No, the more I think of the cake guy, the more I respect him. He’s showing nothing, he’s not reacting.

      I am fairly sure he’s saving reaction for later. In the meantime, he’ll look sort of lame, but it beats being penalized in court for a “normal” reaction to this.

      Consider this! This guy is probably in shock but remains civil while he plans.


      • on September 1, 2013 at 9:36 am Captains Courageous

        #2 I agree. Any objective observer can see that this guy is too good for the weasel faced shrew and that divorce is a great result for him.

        The “sorry about the divorce cake” has the whiff of a RFRA (rejected female reframe attempt).


  7. It’s a tough call, but I’m going with the nympho’s boyfriend. I almost went with John Scalzi, but the dog is cute and I kind of liked the dress.


  8. Converse to BOTM #3: At least Billie Holiday was honest enough about her sex to record that song by (a fairly Alpha) Porter Grainger:

    “If my man ain’t got no money and I say, “Take all of mine, honey”
    Ain’t nobody’s business if I do
    If I give him my last nickel and it leaves me in a pickle
    Ain’t nobody’s business if I do

    Well, I’d rather my man would hit me
    Than follow him to jump up and quit me
    Ain’t nobody’s business if I do
    I swear I won’t call no copper, if I’m beat up by my papa
    Ain’t nobody’s business if I do”


  9. on August 30, 2013 at 3:11 pm everybodyhatesscott

    I’m convinced you and vox have a monthly game of “who can make scalzi look like the bigger jack ass.” with some sort of stakes.


    • After that spectacular meltdown by Hugs, it would be hilarious if Scalzi was bullied into a similar one. And after seeing his reaction to the meme, I’m convinced it wouldn’t take too much more.


  10. lol I think the term dudebro is funneh. But it’s only funneh when someone who could actually be a ‘brah’ uses it.

    The 100k chick…………….
    her bf may have a cuckold fetish? Am-I-rite?


  11. I voted for the cake guy. Just Beta enough. Not the Scalzi guy that wants gelding and not the Polish guy. Every divorced guy gives terrible advice and poets are just poets; read Lord Byron sometime.


    • poets are just poets; read Lord Byron sometime

      Possibly the worst comparison it would be possible to make.

      Byron was a notorious womanizer and adventurer, tinglingly described (by one of his conquests – a married woman, naturally) as “mad, bad, and dangerous to know”. An immortal epiphet that any aspiring player would kill to acquire.

      The guy was a fucking rock star, and the complete antithesis of the lisping faggot in that video.


      • on September 1, 2013 at 10:26 am Captains Courageous

        #1 For my money, the Hugo-esque poetry boy is the one who would benefit most from a swift kick up the ass.

        Selling yourself and your fellow man out, in order to gain popularity or poon deserves our collective ridicule and contempt (gets my vote every time).


      • Here! Here!


  12. The divorce cake guy needs more context. I mean, this could easily be a relative or friend that is posing with him and made the cake. It could be a messed up attempt at humor, she isn’t necessarily his exwife. Hell, it could even be a new woman he’s fucking attempting to cheer him up. We need more context.

    Boyfriend of 100,000 girl isn’t a good choice, because the whole thing could easily be fake/scam.


    • I think the look on his face says it all… that’s gotta be the wife.

      If that ain’t soon-to-be-ex-wifey, judging by the express on her face, that’s some ball-breakin’ biotch of a sister/friend/whatever.


    • maybe… but she is grinning , and he looks sad and tired.


    • true-
      the divorce cake guy. maybe the chick in the pic is the hotter mistress that caused the divorce, and the pic is being sent to his ex wife.


      • He’d look a lot better if that were the case.

        Sheesh, people can pretty much convince themselves of damn near anything, regardless of what’s right before their eyes.


      • Nah you don’t get it…bearded man there went to acting school in college and as a result is such a master of emotions he can convince many a folk that this pic is real. Bravo, Sir!

        I never really subscribed to Occam’s Razor anyway.


      • I see what you did there.


    • clicking on the link for divorce cake guy reveals that it is, in fact, his soon to be ex wife in the pic. no more context needed. he’s eating more shit than cake.


  13. Heh, heh… smashmuff… heh, heh.


  14. on August 30, 2013 at 3:16 pm The Man Who Was . . .

    I wanna go with Scalzi, but deep in my heart I know it’s Candidate #5.


  15. I chose the poetry slam guy. #1. Maybe its because you see firsthand what the guy is like.

    BUt i did fast forwardt o 2:09 and the patronizing SWPL applause of this guys delusional beleifs makes me fucking ill.


  16. Candidate 2, aww bless him. he is more handsome than her anyway. he can do better. he is cute

    Candidate 5. The woman and her boyfriend too are clearly mentally ill.


    • I think #2 is cute, too. And he’s masculine looking, unlike the poetry guy.


      • yep he is. the poetry guy is not bad looking, his voice is just a little high.


      • When you ladies spin off on silly tangents about the looks or lack thereof of various showcased betas, I begin to think the commenters who want the women kicked out have a point.


      • Got it, sorry


      • @CH: thank God you finally realized this. Yes, we do have a point. Just remember this point the next time Lily hijacks an article by posting a never-ending series of twenty-paragraph-long mental menstruations all over the Goddamn place.

        I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: the females should be limited to posting two paragraphs, tops, each of which should not exceed five sentences.


      • on August 31, 2013 at 10:07 am FuriousFerret

        “Lily hijacks an article by posting a never-ending series of twenty-paragraph-long mental menstruations all over the Goddamn place.”

        Lily – I like to rant about stuff I don’t like. Watch me post literally 100 comments.

        Amy – This is what I think about pick up and this the way you should do it. Why? Because.

        Embracingourfeminity – Pretty woman that is traditional and says all the right things. Either the greatest troll in waiting that we have ever seen or this how bad things have gotten in the US that a foreign woman is a seen as a unicorn when it’s pretty standard in non feminized countries.

        Kate – A living Dee Dee from Dexter’s Lab. Offbeat but her heart’s in the right place.

        RapDaughter – Shameless Slut. I like her. Honest and skanky. Respect.

        Femx – My Boyfriend, My Boyfriend. Hey, did you guys hear about my boyfriend because I have one and he’s married and I put out and I do this and I do that I and I and I and I and I and I. etc. Here are tits on my avatar. (Nice body by the way, srs).


      • “the females should be limited to posting two paragraphs, tops, each of which should not exceed five sentences.”

        INCYDK, too many rules can’t follow. You think we can remember all that? I’ll use acronyms. SMH


      • “Lily – I like to rant about stuff I don’t like. Watch me post literally 100 comments.”

        Correction. Lily – I like to refute and defuse the air of de facto antisemites/White Supremacists/n-NZs. Watch them post a 1,000 Joo hate diatribes they learned in joo conspiracy school, and watch me scatter their nonsense.


      • it’s valuable info as to how they think. like vultures, sort of. or maybe helpers. they think socially. “The guys a loser right now because of x, what are the possible repair solutions.” They are aware they can move on to the next one because they can do so easily– if they’re under 33 or so.


      • Correct.–

        All women have the same mind and they speak with one voice. Forget about “where pretty lies perish” because a better motto for this site would be: *know your enemy*.

        Men have the habit of analysis and are distracted by seeming variety where there is none. To understand a woman is the same as to understand women. It’s all one thing.

        It’s difficult for most men to grasp this point, because don’t they seem so different? for example, aren’t the women who come to this site quite distinctly voiced and various?


        Women are always and everywhere unanimous — which is why “feminism” has attained true and terrible power, and can be destroyed only by the ultimate trump of the male: deadly violence.


    • on August 31, 2013 at 2:06 pm Customer Service

      A dumb observation because looks don’t influence a man’s SMV in a LTR. *Notices username* Oh, you’re a girl, #projection.


  17. Number 2’s wife *definitely* needs a session at hogtied dot com. And no joke: if hubby gave her a session he could save the marriage.


  18. That cake picture is very very very badly Photoshopped. It’s fake and meant to be hipster-fag funny.


  19. The Polish whore remind me of Spanish girls in the 90s. Their new new oppressors were haussing them all up to talk about how horribly “repressed” they had been forced to be under Franco; and now, by darnit, they were going to show that they could be just worthless as their more “sophisticated” (newspeak for useless and trashy) sister whores in the anglosphere. Thankfully, some of them now seem to be starving to death. While, appropriately, noone cares.


  20. Regarding 5: FAKT is a Polish tabloid similar to the National Enquirer in tone and reliability. The story may be true; the story may not be true. Let’s hope the latter.


    • The National Enquirer prints outrageous and weird, but real, stories, whereas it’s Weekly World News that puts out completely and laughably fake ones.


      • Ditto to Corvinus. The National Enquirer is one of the most reliable publications in the country, fact-checked far more carefully than any broadsheet newspaper. Yes, really.


  21. First a technical correction. Eunuchs would be zero on the testosterone scale. Scalzi would be negative. Very negative. Barrow Alaska Fahrenheit in January negative. I think most eunuchs would consider any comparison to Scalzi an insult. Men who lack balls are already on strike.

    The pole in the poll is not so much a nympho (see Sandra Fluke) but a Lilith after the demoness of the same name. Think serial succubus meets mass transit.


    • on August 31, 2013 at 10:16 am Hugh G. Rection

      A Eunuch would be very low in estrogen as well. Scalzi is probably single handedly contaminating the water table below his 20 acres with the equivalent of 200.000 birth control pills a day.


    • There are three types of eunuchs: cut, crushed and shaved.

      I’d say Scalzi would be of the shaved type. He’d probably like looking like Ken and peeing through a tube.


  22. Unrelated to the post, but it seems that Yul Brynner might have been an alpha: here’s a letter from Noel Coward to Marlene Dietrich, who was head over heels about the bald guy.


  23. Have to vote for Scalzi… I’ve lost a lot of respect for both him and large number of other people associated with the nerd community due to their declarations or support for things like “ending rape-culture” and “being mean to a girl means you are afraid of women”.

    No, when I call you a cunt I mean just you, lady.


    • Ugh, no kidding. The lack of women in the tech field I can live with… it’s the man-boobery and beta-bitch-tittery that really fry my egg.


      • And let’s not even start on Wil “Mangina” Wheaton…

        Jesus I hate that weasel. If he was on fire, and I had a bottle of water, I would drink the water.


      • Nerds are not always Man-booby. When you get to make 6 figures and you don’t have a union to back you up, the cream literally rises to the top.

        What part of
        cat /etc/mtab | grep nfs | awk ‘{print $2}’ | while read mnt; do echo -n $mnt; (time -p df -h $mnt) 2>&1 | grep real | sed ‘s/real//’ ; echo “”; done
        don’t you understand?


  24. on August 30, 2013 at 4:05 pm Jon's Coffee Shop the first guy saying that because he is bad with women and constantly get’s friend zoned that he is the equivalent to a rapist?



  25. on August 30, 2013 at 4:12 pm hardscrabble farmer

    I cannot believe Scalzi isn’t in the lead, dudebro.


  26. on August 30, 2013 at 4:14 pm gunslingergregi

    going to wedding tomorrow and chicks aunt trying to hook me up with the chick I had my first threesome with in high school three cousins he he he
    she still hot saw her last year
    wish me luck might be interesting


  27. I have to go with cake guy. The look on her face, the look on his. Total submission, total helplessness, it’s that “ha ha ha let’s just go along” look.

    The truth is I’ve historically been so much of a pussy that I’m a candidate for BOTM myself, and any man who is more of a pussy than I am (homosexuals automatically qualify) gets my immediate, visceral disgust and revulsion. Even at my most pussified, some bitch pulls a stunt like that on me, she’s going to be wearing the cake with a side of fist.


    • Beta #2 may just be embarrassed that he married the crazy in the first place. Don’t know them, so hard to tell. I cannot imagine ever allowing a cake like that anywhere in my vicinity, personally. But without knowing the context, how can he win over the other candidates?


      • Context aside…even if that is a joke….nobody would laugh at that.


      • Are you clowns blind?

        Geez, if that ain’t a pained expression on his face, it’ll do until the pain gets here.


      • I agree. There is no other way to read his face. Even if the man himself were to tell me he thought it was all a barrel of laughs, his face in that photo tells the true truth. Also, nice allusion to McCarthy, Greg.


    • The size of her hands freaks me out a little.


  28. Men without balls are not completely missing testosterone.
    The brain secretes a tiny amount as well. Hence, women having test in their bloodwork.


  29. on August 30, 2013 at 4:39 pm FuriousFerret

    I thought about voting for cake guy but then I realized that he doesn’t have very many options. He doesn’t look happy about the situation and probably just took the picture to not come across as butthurt and make the situation even worse.

    This isn’t the 50s anymore where ‘five across the eyes’ is a viable solution.


  30. Speaking of Scalzi in a dress, am I the only one who had brought to mind a certain series of skits from the show “Little Britain”?


  31. on August 30, 2013 at 5:13 pm Johnycomelately

    Divorced cake man was harsh, the guy is obviously being cordial with ex so he can see his children, remember one phone call and he never sees them again.


  32. I was torn between blank verse and Scalzi, ultimately voting for the latter.


    I was a little more repulsed by the emasculating photo op.


  33. #1…the voice and the smug attitude.

    He gets a whiff of testosterone and he’d be curled up fetal in the corner wetting his pants.


  34. on August 30, 2013 at 5:46 pm gunslingergregi

    whats it mean when your ex chick calls you to take to hospital or some other flimsy excuse and is dressed up makeup lookin hot and shit
    she just trying to fuck with my head
    bitch calls me either once a day or every two days went there twice
    or I get unknown missed calls


    • on August 30, 2013 at 5:52 pm gunslingergregi

      brought her some shit she forgot my house and to hospital today she thought havin miscarriage bla bla bla
      not every time I go up there
      crazy chicks and their fake pregnancies jesus


    • on August 30, 2013 at 10:56 pm Days of Broken Arrows

      It means she’s just doing what most women do and drumming up a soap opera with herself as the star. Looking for deeper meaning in 90 of what women do is like looking for subtext in a play put on by children.


      • on August 31, 2013 at 1:43 pm gunslingergregi

        yea but this chick is diferent lol
        you are correct with herself has star though yea good analogy


      • on August 31, 2013 at 1:46 pm gunslingergregi

        she so good at what she does though jesus Christ wtf

        she got so much fucking game going through my porno collection I star in and other chick in next room you watchin pornos yea mine


      • on August 31, 2013 at 1:52 pm gunslingergregi

        shit she prob shoved a hanger up the puss to fake a miscarriage so she could get back with me that’s some dedication to the game
        fear of losin me awww its so cute


  35. BOTM #1: Jesus fuck do I hate slam poetry. This guy also has what I refer to as the iPod voice, or being so feminized he has a gay lisp (But probably isn’t gay). I have no idea what causes this, but I never see any players with this vocal affect. In fact, most guys I know who have it and can get a girlfriend can’t shut up about her and put her on a pedestal, no matter how disgusting she is.

    BOTM #3: That list reminds me a bit of this – An ex of mine showed me this site when she wanted me to “be more of a gentleman”. After taking the red pill I realize that this site is nothing but tips to turn a guy into a mangina, but uses shaming tactics to normalize it (You’re not a REAL MAN unless you tell her she’s beautiful and hold her hand everywhere!). Doing similar things to what this site suggests brought me nowhere with women.

    BOTM #5: Isn’t it funny how it’s always the chicks you would never want to fuck that are so “open” with their sexuality? It’s so fucking true that fat/ugly chicks have to try harder. A good looking girl knows that her sexuality is the source of her power and will only express it to those deemed worthy. But fat chicks need to use their sexuality to get sex, so this leads us to fat whales wearing booty shorts and baby doll tees on the street, or big fat burlesque dancers (Who will show off the goods to an extent, but are still too embarrassed to get completely nude).

    Also, if I was dating a girl who fucked 280+ guys in a short period of time I’d hang myself. Actually, if it got to the point where I was dating a pig who looked like that for any reason I’d hang myself.


  36. lolololololololol even the dog is neutered


  37. #4 is unreal. Just unfathomable how some men can reach such a pathetic state. I sincerely feel bad for whomever he’s married to, and I don’t often empathize with women.

    I doubt they fuck, but if they do there’s strap-ons involved. Bet on it.


  38. My guess is around man number 500…Ms. Poland there will kill herself.

    Lotsa cockas makes the ladies go lotsa crazy. lolz


  39. That ugly Polish chick will have no difficulty getting 100,000 yos to fuck her, so she should just hang out in Chicongo, south-central LA, Deetroit, etc. Piece of piss.


  40. I have to admit this was not any easy vote but this guy, #3, has to be the winner.
    “A divorced man gives advice to still-married men.” My woman was reading over my shoulder trying to figure out why I was laughing so hard, then she started to laugh so hard she cried, the dude that wrote the comments in reply to the beta is FUNNY, and it is all based on TRUTH, which is WHY it is so funny.

    As CH noted in an earlier post “The Cuckold Fetish Epidemic” the White male is in deep doo-doo. There are white guys who watch their wives getting fucked by negroes, and it isn’t all that rare either, I mean amateur guys submit photos of their wives getting gang-banged by Obama’s sons you know. Now that is a REAL SICKNESS.
    Well we have CH and that is enough, for no.


  41. Scalzi can’t win beta of the month because his bad drag queen routine is clearly omega behavior. Just calling it like I see it.

    I had to go with the boyfriend of the slut that wants to fuck 100k men. That is a cuckolding just waiting to happen, and that is a bad thing. And that’s not to downplay the egregiousness of the other three “contenders” here, but that takes the cake.


    • I had to go with the boyfriend of the slut that wants to fuck 100k men. That is a cuckolding just waiting to happen,

      “Waiting” to happen??


  42. I voted fro the poetry guy.
    I really believe this neutered geek is real and reproducing.
    In high school we had a gag like that, “Quick! Kill it before it multiplies!”
    and yes these type of girly-men do asexually reproduce.
    CH wrote that men who are beaten down too often begin to associate their messed up condition w/ normality and embrace and defend it. Their sexual frustration leads to susceptibility to the FemiNazis and they start apologizing for normal healthy feelings.
    i.e. yes indeed if I am nice to a woman I do indeed expect something in return. Value given for value received; right?
    Or I am just showing my hateful manly trait of equity?

    (hmmm I’m thinking of printing up some T-shirts, “This is what a misogynist looks like.”)


  43. This list guy…totally. The others are more extreme examples, #3 is basically almost every guy who’s grown up without game. I used to follow this advice until I unplugged and realized just how beta this attitude is.



      I think you need to read the full description to really appreciate how this #3 is truly the Beta of the YEAR.

      Each of these points stands in direct contrast to the Commandments of Poon and game.

      This is the kind of advice women love because it allows them to control their guy while fantasizing and seeking out more masculine men.

      The guy who wrote this is greater beta–applying some logic to his failed relationship instead of realizing she lost interest and attraction because he didn’t game her properly.

      “Never stop courting”—that is pedestalizing women. Beta.


  44. Awesome list. #3 made me sick and as a wise man who has been there I felt compelled to respond.


    • Good start but we need our own list of directives to women instead of reacting to his appalling drivel.

      Rule 1 : Learn some rudimentary home-making skills.

      Rule 2 : Abide your husband’s sexual appetite no matter how “creative” he gets

      etc etc etc


    • #3 sounded like every single marriage counselor we tried. God knows I love my denomination and my home church but their counseling sucked. Too bad I didn’t learn better ’till after the divorce.


  45. on August 30, 2013 at 9:45 pm gunslingergregi

    exchick asked to borrow money she let me hold her phone
    said no
    then i called back
    I said find that one chick for me I seen a glimpse again
    she said i’d rather stick my head in my own ass said in front of husband
    so we got something new to try
    saw me freshly shaved by another bitch too
    he he he


    • on August 30, 2013 at 9:48 pm gunslingergregi

      and I am sure chick I was with let her know
      why she had to go hospital
      gonna call me tomorrow bla bla bla
      the intrigue is kind of fun


      • on August 31, 2013 at 10:35 am Hugh G. Rection

        Now if only you could write better, you could turn your life into a television series (because who reads novels anymore?)…


      • on August 31, 2013 at 1:34 pm gunslingergregi

        and I got perfect score writing act
        this is what diversity gets you he he he


      • on August 31, 2013 at 2:07 pm gunslingergregi

        well ya know her kidnap story made the other bitches wet
        omg he loves her so much he would kidnap her beat her and make her stay that’s so fucking hot
        50 shades haven’t read it but yea sounds romance novelish


      • on August 31, 2013 at 2:10 pm gunslingergregi

        it makes me feel kind of bad that I didn’t kidnap the bitch and make her dreams come true
        i’m fucking slackin a bit grrr


  46. I know this is liberal thinking, but really, all those guys deserve some recognition!


  47. I think the divorce cake guy looks like the photo was set up and also like he would strangle her if it were legal. The woman is clearly crazy but as she looks like a chihuahua he may feel she suffered enough at school.


  48. Number five is probably the beta-est, but reading what number 3 wrote made me feel sick. The poetry guy was pretty close but I’m letting him off because the first two minutes were pretty funny.


  49. scalzi because he has dug himself so far in the praise hole he will never get out of it with his ego intact.

    2 years and he is chewing on a barrel to make the hurt stop.


  50. on August 30, 2013 at 10:55 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    Your take down of the divorced guy’s advice is classic. But…I want to take issue with one thing:

    “BOTM Candidate #1 was submitted by an anonymous emailer. A loosely-termed man does a poetry slam (faggot SWPL manboob alert)…”

    It’s really not fair to compare these sackless herbs with gay men. A lot of gay guys have a hell of a lot more masculinity and balls than men like this. Pretty much every gay guy I know would cringe at that poetry reading and say things like “Get over it!”

    That said, it says something about a lot of men today that they’re LESS masculine than gay men.


  51. on August 30, 2013 at 11:17 pm Michael Maier

    I really wanted to vote for Scalzi… but Nympho-whore’s “mate” takes the cake on this one.


  52. […] Beta Of The Month: Epic Showdown | Chateau Heartiste — BOTM Candidate #3 was submitted by another anonymous acolyte of the lord of the flies. A […]


  53. on August 31, 2013 at 12:45 am themaskandrose

    That Mangina poet earned the dubious honor of being my target last week in “The Evolution of a White Knight:”


  54. That cat wearing the dress is number one on my list. The boyfriend of the slut that is going on the world tour of dicks can cleanse his soul with one comment, “Good luck honey when your pussy gets tired use your asshole that is what its for.” Because if that guy waits for her to finish her quest and marries that chick…….. I think that is a fake story CH it has to be.


  55. on August 31, 2013 at 2:12 am rtwingheathen

    Wow disappointing Scalzi is such a fucking pussy/faggatron cause his science fiction is really good . The “Old Man’s War Series” is action packed and kinda badass. Odd that such alpha writing can come from such a Beta dude (sorry dudebro….)


    • It’s not quite as odd as it might seem. OMW was written as a purposeful Heinlein ripoff in order to get in the publishing door. Now he’s moved on to Philip K. Dick, H. Beam Piper, and Star Trek ripoffs.


  56. on August 31, 2013 at 2:13 am Cad and Bounder

    I voted for Scalozzlozzi (sorry couldnt resist it lolzz) on the basis that he deserves to be called out.

    The 2nd option (cake) looks fake. Her arm looks like something out of the sigourney weaver/alien clones in the fourth movie.

    The 5th option (STD apostle) looks fake too.

    The 1st option (hopeless slam poetry gimp) is reaally about a beta’s transition to omega. When faced with a red or blue pill choice, this guy decides to try and suck off the invigilator.

    The real BOTM is the 3rd. It was a sickening read. This guuy is so beta that he is desperately supplicating and rationally arguing for sex, when it is not even available to him anymore!


  57. The last four suckers destroy their own life to an extent.

    I have no sympathy though for the sucker who is complaining that he has been friendzoned by women who would marry him after fifty years of fucking every dick that is passing by, and then doubles up on the suckerness and goes on an anti rape shiteknighting.

    And fuck the audience. Clapping for a martyr thaty would sacrifice his unused dick for cunts that have been used by more dick than the sperm cells he has in his balls. Assuming he has balls.

    The thing is this is the guy who is in our friend groups. Scalzi is a writed, a celebrity of sorts, nobody respects a man in that dress, the cake guy will commit suicide on his own one day, the divorced man is already fucked but with that advice he is rare, the 100.000 dick sucking pussy lover boyfriend is by definition cuckolded to the highest levels, not even a husband to a prostitute would feel and respect for this utter worthless piece of shit.

    But the first guy.

    He is around us.

    He is the hipster that sings songs in our bars, he is the sociologist taking a degree at the university, givin lessons to our beer tables.

    These are the guys who take girls on a date, and then see her leaving with a tattoed douche from the bar they accidentally went together with, but then gives lessons to the guys on the table about not being assholes.

    These are the guys who claim that false paternity rates are such because hospitals make mistakes, forgetting that in that case it would also be false maternity, and the hospital would be burned down, while they themselves have been cheated on in a marriage, with a pregnancy the result.

    And so on.


    • on August 31, 2013 at 9:34 am FuriousFerret

      “He is around us.

      He is the hipster that sings songs in our bars, he is the sociologist taking a degree at the university, givin lessons to our beer tables.

      Truth. This guys represents the modern day Golden Horde. Manginas at the Gate.


    • That’s why I voted for “him” (it).

      It’s the one who’s around in every town and numerous in hipster locales.


  58. So,a fat Polish chick says she wants to sleep with 100k men and whole world knows about her.This planet is a weird place..

    I voted for the husband giving “advice”. Judging by the “impact factor”. Other idiots might be reading this shit and the “mean beta coefficient” in a population will increase tenfold.


    • I voted for the husband giving “advice”. Judging by the “impact factor”. Other idiots might be reading this shit and the “mean beta coefficient” in a population will increase tenfold.

      Smarter men should realize that a divorced man is not exactly the best source of advice about women, so I’d consider it a small strike against the developing Idiocracy.


  59. Bitch from number #5 is an idiot. She should just become a hooker. After she bangs her 100,000 guys and her vag is looser than Bill Clinton’s morals she could retire a multi-millionaire. If her bf had sense he would encourage her, act as her pimp and then leave her and take half her money.

    Honestly, at 9 hours a day of fucking how is this bitch going to make money to survive? Is she planning on living off bf’s money?


  60. What in God’s name is wrong with the arm on the divorce cake chick? Look at her forearm and hand. WTH? Dude is probably scared the woman will beat his ass Hello boy style.


  61. One of the things that struck me about Scalzi’s little “WHITE MALE IS THE LOWEST DIFFICULTY SETTING” essay was that there was a point in the middle where he has trailed off from his analogy completely and was actually devising the mechanics of this fake privilege game


  62. I know it’s just fore-shortening camera perspective but the lady in #2 appears to have a serious case of Man Hands.


  63. All a bunch of beta losers, #5 is the worst IMO. (Western) women have become more uglier then imaginable and guys like this have completely lost their manliness (if they ever had any to begin with). Thanks for the list: this is the 21st century… It has never been a better time in history for a man to go his own way.


  64. Polish cuckold, hands down. His girlfriend is a fattie – in Poland, of all places – who wants to bang 100k men and instead of pushing her down a cliff he “comes to term” with the whole thing. How low can you go?


  65. Alpha of the month:

    He’s doing this in Toronto, the city where Roosh couldn’t get laid and the city his forum of “looks matter!” guys are convinced is one of the hardest cities in North America to get girls.

    He’s five feet tall, but dat body language, dat voice-tonality, dat lack of leaning in, dat self-amusement, dat alpha vibe…looks matter, what?

    It’s Saturday, go the fuck out tonight.


    • on August 31, 2013 at 10:38 am Hugh G. Rection

      It’s Saturday, go the fuck out tonight.

      But then who’d take over arguing with strangers on the internet for me? Better take my Smartphone.


    • I have heard that dwarves are killer PUAs.


    • You bet, man! Have a few FR’s for ya! Gonna right them tomorrow!


    • on August 31, 2013 at 4:07 pm FuriousFerret

      This is guy is an excellent example of how attributes are overvalued by guys.

      This man is failing hard on the SMP values of:

      Height – He is five feet tall. He is smaller than the majority of women is a evolutionary runt. Height is highly valued due to it being static and therefore a better indicator of natural genetic fitness and for the physical dominance that used to play a much greater role for much of human history. For this flaw alone most men would believe that he should be happy with a land whale.

      Facial Aesthetics – Average looking. Nothing that pops and to females who only really value the top 20 percent of any attribute, he might as well have the face of Michael Phelps.

      Money and traditional status – Does this guy look rich professional or does he resemble RattLife?

      You get past caring about these external attributes and you have already a leg up on the competition.

      I say you kill your heroes and fly fly baby don’t cry
      No need to worry cause everybody will die

      Kill your heroes (money,looks, power)


      “bow down before the one you serve.
      you’re going to get what you deserve.”

      You worship (money,looks,power) prepare to bow down before them and get what you deserve basically insecurity.


    • What kind of chimp denies that looks matter?


    • That “how to pick up tall girls” one was hilarious. Funny guy.

      It’s highly advantageous to have a mate like this in your group, too.


  66. on August 31, 2013 at 10:42 am Greatest Beta

    In Vegas right now.
    Most of the hotties congregate around Encore and Wynn hotels at night.
    Opened a few but nothing memorable to talk about.
    Going to pool party in a few hours


  67. I’m glad to see that the obvious BOTM is well ahead in the poll.


  68. […] Accepting power into one’s life means surrendering the martyr’s podium. Like any addict, that ma… […]


  69. Cake bitch needs to eat the entire cake and put some meat on those bony ass arms.


  70. BOTM-1: Weird non-sequiter leap from sex is not transactional (it’s induced) to a jumpy date rape rant. I didn’t vote for him because at least he tried to ask out girls in HS. That’s a leg up from the HS boys too scared to approach girls in HS.

    BOTM-2: What’s up with her huge forearm and hand holding the cake? Is she the living sister of Michelangelo’s David? I couldn’t get past that. How can that arm and hand not be photoshopped? I didn’t vote for him because he may just be repressing his righteous anger in her presence in order not to antagonize the crazy woman divorcing him from going scorched earth in court.

    BOTM-3: He got my vote. I would not be surprised if in the near future, his emotions about his ex-wife took a rollercoaster dive into pre-Kate Minter territory, especially if he discovers any secret betrayals by her in their marriage. But for now, his advice is distilled beta. With his advice #5 about not fixing or changing his wife, what he ought to have done was strongly lead his wife in their marriage, which would have set the conditions necessary for her to choose to change for him.

    BOTM-4: Over-qualified; doesn’t belong in this category. You don’t vote for a veteran major-league star to start a minor-league all-star game.

    BOTM-5: I didn’t vote for him because I smell troll.


  71. 5. 100,00 is pretty doable really for a woman, and I am betting that the boyfriend will be off ere long, so it is not him.

    4. Scalzi is yet another ‘What a feminist looks like’ male selling his next novel, so it isn’t him.

    3. Recently divorced man is feeling low and will doubtless get over it, so it is not him.

    2. Cake man at least gets a cake to eat, but as his wife looks manic he will be well rid of her, so it is not him.

    So it has to be 1. for the never-erasable high-pitched whine with zero understanding and an audience who at 02.09 cheerlead him towards permanent humiliation..


    • 100,000 is “pretty doable for a woman? Let’s go straight to the numbers. 365 days in a year, 3,650 in a decade, therefore 7,300 in 20 years … 10,000 days is very very close to 28 years. So, if she fucks 10 guys a day for 28 years, she gets there. She’ll then be 49 years old, and BTW does she still do 10 a day on days Aunt Flo is visiting? This seems to me to be doable in the sense that a 100-mile ultramarathon in Death Valley is doable. I foresee a major breakdown in the near future for the chubster — if the whole thing isn’t a troll/hoax.


  72. #5 makes me feel pity for the man. like the put your dog down kind of pity.

    but #2 takes the cake.


  73. Fucking hell Heartiste, please never make me look at something like this again.

    I thought the first one would have to take it but as I scrolled further and further down it got worse and worse… I didn’t even know who to vote for in the end…


  74. The 100K guy is the beta of the century so far. I don’t even want to know what can top that.


  75. Went with JS – I see a sex change operation in his future. The Divorce cake guy was a contender but all we have is the photo – no context. Could be she was psycho bitch and he’s happy its all over. And the Polish thing sounds like a fake. Maybe a whore & pimp trying to drum up publicity.


  76. the soon to be ex-wife baked the cake herself with a ‘secret ingredient’ from the guy she’s banging.


  77. The humiliation of the dude dating the 100000 chick is probably not that much greater than if she only had a few on the side. In fact, the comic proportions of her designs are almost a mitigating factor, and it just seems weird. Poetry slam dude made my skin crawl though.


    • on August 31, 2013 at 2:09 pm Customer Service

      I view the dude with the whorish gf as more alpha in his aloofness. He probably doesn’t care that much, and wants to keep his regular access to that vag – the girl isn’t super ugly. And it’s poland, there’s tons of cute options so there’s less dread in losng a hottie than orca infested Murica.


      • on August 31, 2013 at 2:10 pm Customer Service

        brings me to the conclusion that people who voted for the whore’s bf don’t have the proper attitude of ‘unlimited supply’ which might affect their vote.


      • on August 31, 2013 at 2:42 pm Hugh G. Rection

        Look closer. For Poland she is far below average, and she is a fucking whore to boot in a country that hasn’t as many of those.


      • Not just a whore, but a FAT whore. When I was in Kiev, I only saw one fat chick the whole time I was there, as opposed to dozens of HBs. Admittedly Poland isn’t as poor as Ukraine, but they’re similar culturally and genetically, so if this guy is staying with her, he is definitely a bottom feeder.

        Her vaj is going to be smelling like rotten beef pretty quickly, if it isn’t already.


      • ^^^— She is a fucking pig and NOT cute in any way shape or form. When you factor in Poland/EE she may as well be Oprah. Christ…


      • > “I view the dude with the whorish gf as more alpha in his aloofness.”

        Hello cuckold fantasy.


  78. on August 31, 2013 at 2:17 pm Christopher Paul

    Scalzi is a boring writer. He gets away with murder.


  79. on August 31, 2013 at 3:26 pm Harrison Bergeron

    I voted for the marriage advice guy.

    The last one is complete bullshit – if there really is a boyfriend, he probably put her up to it (heh) to get her name in the papers. I would have voted for Scalzi if he hadn’t done the dress thing for a totally different reason (although the “I know you are but what am I” response made him a strong contender). #1 is just young and dumb, and I don’t have enough information about #2 – people divorce for all kinds of reasons.

    But #3’s advice is so thoroughly stupid that I had to vote for him. He’s like the Penelope Trunk of relationship advice: it’s as if someone deliberately thought of the worst possible advice and printed it to see if anyone would believe it. Seriously, I can’t believe any married man would agree with anything that guy said.


  80. on August 31, 2013 at 4:06 pm bro of dude of bro

    HEY DUDEBRO! Stop broduding all over my dudes, bro.


    • Aaaand… judging from the comments and associated upvotes and downvotes, the libtards get massacred once again.


    • In Melbourne (Australia), asians are buying up a frightening number of small businesses such as chip shops and other take-away food type shops.
      The attitude of most of these buyers is that all they need to do is open their doors and customers will flock.
      Their level of customer service is nearly always very poor and food quality tends to be bad as well.
      The typical asian way of making money is on low margin, passable quality and high volume.

      ALL the petrol stations, and convenience stores have Indians behind the counter.


  81. Man, a strong field this time. This Scalzi tranny seems like a proggo about to go off the rails from the inherent contradictions of his position, but I ultimately voted for #3 divorce guy. Because he’s learned nothing and wants to drag others down with him.

    After looking at the pictures again, though, I think poor cake guy is the winner.


  82. Divorced guy wins simply because he should know better. Poetry, then cake dude, then the polish sausage rider for the rest.

    Scalzi doesn’t count for reasons mentioned earlier by Kim du Toit etc..


  83. I think I gotta go with Scalzi. I was thinking maybe the boyfriend of the nympho, but that’s more gamma territory than beta.


  84. Speaking of Betas, bets on how long until Neil Strauss gets divorced by his newest Bernankified ho?

    -Oh wait, he has a new book coming out soon, right?
    Then this is probably just another publicity stunt dreamt up by the sales department. Ok, then the smart money’s on whatever the earliest statute of limitations for annulment.


  85. What do they think they’ve proved?


    • They’re not trying to prove anything. They seemingly have no real beliefs or ideology, only a blatant hatred of men (and I don’t ascribe such sentiment to feminists generally). The lyrics are malicious and lacking even a modicum of humor; it’s sheer anger, not satire or commentary.

      However, I must admit they are by far the most attractive “feminists” I’ve ever seen, though the competition could hardly be weaker. I think these three could use a good bukkake session, to which I would gladly contribute a load or two.


      • Ya, parodies are supposed to be funny. What’s sad is they could have done a funny blurred lines parody from the girl’s perspective — like, she’s totally not into the guy or something. Instead, they just shit out this e-turd.


      • I think the real story is the “scholastic” females are also not reproducing, and won’t exist in a few generations. This kind constant separatism just empowers Idiocracy.


      • Not sure what you mean by scholastic females, my wife is pretty traditional as well as being a scholar.

        All I can say about those pathetic males is that I hope they were well paid.


      • I think these three could use a good bukkake session, to which I would gladly contribute a load or two.

        i dig the motivation, but they’ll probably save your load, impregnate themselves, and come after you for child support.

        got bernanke?



    • The key difference between the original video and the parody – and one that will have feminists everywhere weeping – is that the majority of men would find the women in the original video attractive.

      The majority of women would find the men in the parody version deeply unattractive.

      That sums up feminism in a nutshell. The frontbrain fights for outcomes the hindbrain doesn’t even want.


  86. Scalzi is, ironically, a greater beta or lesser alpha. He’s managed to mouth the correct platitudes to rise to the top of an increasingly feminized industry which was always filled with and catering to betas (albeit the sort of betas who keep society running).

    Sure actually listening to what he says is an awful idea, but the man himself is successful. It’s like Schwyzer–alpha in beta’s clothing. A long con.


    • Schwyzer is alpha?


      • His behavior’s disgusting, but he was banging his students. Mediocre achievements, plenty of poon. Never underestimate the sneaky fucker.


      • I really doubt any of the students he banged were anything higher than a 6, which would make him a beta, if not a flat-out omega dumpster-diver if the quality of women he was with was even lower.


  87. Scalzi defies classification on the alpha/beta/omega spectrum. You see, beta males are still men, pathetic though they may sometimes be. Scalzi is an androgynous creature lacking any of the positive qualities of either sex. As such, he’s technically disqualified from competition.

    I don’t believe #5’s story. Could such a man exist? If so, he would not be eligible for BotM, but rather would require immediate induction into the Omega Male Hall of Fame.

    Upon further investigation, it seems cake guy is not quite the epitome of betatude the photo suggests. His divorce is apparently semi-amicable, and his wife seems more clueless than cuntish.(Or at least that’s the impression I’ve gotten from quickly scanning the comments in the linked articles.)

    #3 is banally beta. He’s got to step it up a notch if he wants to earn the dubious distinction of BotM du Chateau.

    And that leaves us with our “winner”, Poetryboy, for his truly disgusting display of beta masochism. I offer him my congratulations, and request that he immediately stick a loaded .44 in his mouth and pull the trigger.


  88. It’s also kinda beta to spend so much time weaving disparate internet postings into some sort of theme, then doing battle with your virtual, manufactured nemeses.

    This site should have lasted for about a month. That’s how much material you actually have.

    Go out and do something. Anything.

    [CH: How’s your blog doing? Heh.]


  89. Fuxing bullshit, mang. Another thinly veiled ultimatum. Wtf. The 7 may move away soon for her job. And I was like ‘o nooooooo.’ Then she brought up the possibility of a long-distance relationship and I was like ‘ehhhhhhhhhh….’ (hella shocked that I had this reaction btw!) Then she was like ‘well if I stayed, you wouldn’t be ready for a relationship anyway.’ To which I just kind of dodged ‘has anyone ever complimented you on your subtlety? What’s next, pinning a pussy-eviction notice on my dick?’

    So she attempts to start a fight, but I calm it down fast…admittedly I just put a band-aid on the wound (Ya, I’m just caught offguard….I’ll think about it. I really care about you) — then we make up.

    So, as more (albeit anecdotal) proof that game — and game alone — is worth a lot, I can submit this convo:

    7: I’m really annoyed that I care so much. I haven’t really had feelings for anyone since my first boyfriend….so, 2008. Normally, the guys I date…I can just take or leave. If they step out of line at all, I’m just done with them.

    (I believe this as truff— bish gets hit up on her phone constantly; and she constantly ignores EVERYONE. So that kind of choice and power is believable — I’m intrigued)

    Me: What do you mean, give an example….

    7: I don’t know, friends X and Y don’t like me to talk at all when we’re out because they say I’ll ruin it with the guys they like. (of her group, X and Y are a 5 and a 6….)

    Me: Why…

    7: Because I’m usually just like ‘whatever…okay, you’re good-looking or funny or whatever, cool.’ And they’ll be like ‘how could you turn THAT down?’

    Me: Hm….

    7: I mean, I get hit on a lot…and the guys I’ve gone out with, admittedly have been very attractive. But that’s it…it’s like ‘ya you’re handsome.’ Like this one guy I was dating for a few months… I hadn’t been intimate with him, or even kissed him (ya you heard that right folks. This chick has only been with 3 dudes total….), so finally he broke down and was like ‘listen it’s been two months, when is this going to happen?’ So I just said ‘never,’ and left some money, then walked out.

    Me: (wtfmindblown….2 months of weekly and bi-weekly — confirmed — dates without ANYTHING? lulz) That sucks…he paved the way for me, I guess…y’know, like how someone sits on a slot machine for a long time and gives up, then the first sucker to take it on one date hits the jackpot.

    7: Sometimes I want to smack you….

    Me: That is so tight. Nah, I’m just messing with you.

    7: I really liked you.

    Me: Why…

    7: I don’t know, I just….I just liked you very fast. (Conflicting stories now….before, she said at first she didn’t like me at first and wanted me to leave her alone lol srs). You were really funny…

    Me: Didn’t you just say that a lot of the time guys were funny or good looking and that didn’t matter?

    7: Yeah….but……like, you know how most guys when they meet girls just try to put all of who they are out there, and try to talk about how good they are or how cool they are. They’re just so aggressive… (translation: beta tryhards — ya so what she said aggressive, she just meant tryhard)…and they don’t listen. (I have no idea wtf that means, because I sure as fuck didn’t really listen at all….so I’m just assuming it’s some sort of shorthand for ‘I wish they knew how to engage me’).

    Me: Ya sure….

    7: Yeah….I liked how you just were talking to my friends, and just being cool. You were really charming. You were perfect.

    What else could she be talking about but whatever game I managed to display that night? She’s failing to describe exactly ‘what’ it is/was that is different, but we kind of eliminated lots of the variables.

    That’s kind of cool………but the situ is kind of shitty. I may end up just having to let her go 😦


    • “Then she brought up the possibility of a long-distance relationship and I was like ‘ehhhhhhhhhh….’ (hella shocked that I had this reaction btw!)”

      lol no. Just, no. Thing is you can HAVE an open-LDR, where she flies up to visit now and then and you hang out and hook up…but sure as shit don’t promise long-distance monogamy. That would be insane and you would regret it and ultimately resent her for strong-arming you into it.

      “So, as more (albeit anecdotal) proof that game — and game alone — is worth a lot”

      All we have is anecdotal proof…but we have a LOT of it lol. You’re not even done yet, you’re still not even a year into it I don’t think (like from your first FR), and now you’re breaking 7s hearts who have a bunch of good-looking dudes chasing them.

      “7: Because I’m usually just like ‘whatever…okay, you’re good-looking or funny or whatever, cool.’ And they’ll be like ‘how could you turn THAT down?’”

      Hotter social girls have more experience with good-looking rich social etc dudes. Like I say, a smokin hot 9 has guys with 6-pack abs literally offering to fly them on vacations on private jets and shit. That’s not an exaggeration. Their entire social circle when they’re out is often all good-looking dudes because those are the guys who feel entitled to hang out with her (the ugly nerds are scared to talk to her)

      But there comes an equilibrium point where when everyone around you is good-looking, rich, etc, it becomes the norm and boring, so what stands out to a girl is something different/unique, a personality and strong frame often in a body/face that you wouldn’t expect it from.

      Is every hot celebrity chick dating a Brad Pitt clone? No, a lot of them date weird artist dudes or old weird looking dudes (who’s faces have “character” to them) and shit who aren’t conventionally attractive…this is usually because the chick is SO used to generic good-looking rich dudes who don’t know how to push her thru emotions and game her, that she’s numb to that and this weird guy who’s rock solid confident and sure of his shit and teases her etc, stands out to her.

      “and they don’t listen.”

      She means they don’t listen to her sub-communications. But she doesn’t know she means that and she wouldn’t be able to articulate it. You communicate with her emotions, those guys are trying to communicate with her brain. Guess which one is more important to a girl. 🙂

      “That’s kind of cool………”

      It IS cool lol props on your improvements in your game and it’s stuff like this that will keep expanding your mind and blowing limiting beliefs out of the water for you.

      “but the situ is kind of shitty. I may end up just having to let her go”

      You do. Sorry. 😦 that’s the shitty part about PUA. A normal guy like 2 month McNoSex she mentioned, would build attraction over months or years, but you’re learning a skillset that builds that same level of attraction over a few hours or dates.

      This is why we try to put off triggering the Ultimatum as long as possible…because once that switch flips, there’s no going back. When you start noticing the signs of it starting to trigger, that’s the start of the end. It’s a bitter-sweet thing…on the one hand you might care about the girl and really love the time you’ve had together, but on the other hand you know it’s going to end soon and you’ll probably be the one to have to snuff it out. It’s like watching your life-long pet dog get sicker and sicker as he grows old and knowing you’re going to have to take him out back one day. It’s rough and still hurts, even to a guy as jaded as myself. I take it as a sign that I’m still human lol

      You’ll meet girls as awesome or more awesome than this one down the road. You’re young and you’ll be going out and socializing a lot in the years to come, and you haven’t even hit your prime as a man yet. She wants you now because she doesn’t want to lose you, but she would lose you if you gave everything up for her because you would lose yourself and end up back where you started.

      I usually tell my girls (the ones I plan to see for a while VS the flings) that someday they’ll have to break it off with me, because I don’t have any reason to break it off some them. Even if they move away, or meet another guy, I’ll still care about them like I do now and I’ll always be here for them if they come back or come to visit me. They know I’ll still be off doing my thing with other girls, but they know that there’s always a place for them in my heart (/homo lol).

      Hope some of that helps, swipe some of it if you get stuck in these conversations with this one over the next while here (which you probably will).

      At the end of the day it’s not really a sad thing…like, it is to normal people who live normal lives, like the guys on here who are all “fly across the country and chase her and marry her now every other girl is a cock-sucking whore!!!!” But it IS a different way of viewing the world. As you get further along you start to feel almost like an observer of the human race, kind of a fly on the wall like you understand what they’re going thru (whether it’s watching your buddy suffer from approach anxiety or noticing your buddy’s GF flirt with you and knowing she’d bang you or watching a girl you’re banging start to fall in love with you), but you’re kind of outside of it and looking at a bigger wider picture than they can see. It’s like they’re zoomed in and you’re zoomed out.

      From that point you decide whether you’re going to use that “power” for “good”, to help other people find their way and guide them when you can (whether that’s helping a girl not fall in love with you too fast, or helping another dude learn game, or helping a store clerk feel better about their shitty day, etc), or use it for “evil”, manipulating people for your own means to get ahead and not care what mess you leave them in.

      Knowing that point will come one day, if you stick at this, is why we try to teach new guys “leave them better than you found them” and “spread good vibes, be a value-giver instead of a value-taker” etc. it’s not super relevant when you first start out…but we hope you remember those ideas when you start running into situations like this where you have to let a girl go.

      If it’s any consolation, they’re rarely ever truly gone. I could call almost any of the girls who’ve Ultimatumed me and tell them I want to settle down and be with them and most of them would drop whatever’s going on in their lives to take me up on it. 5 minutes of alpha and all that…she won’t forget how you made her feel and you’ll always have chemistry.

      But often, letting her go and cutting it off is for her own good…so she doesn’t waste her prime waiting for you and become another wall victim. Right before I moved to a new city, I brutally crushed a couple girls I cared about who were falling deeply in love with me, because I knew that if I left them ANY hope that one day I’d come back for them, or that they could uproot their lives to follow me, they would wait or chase, and they would put off meeting another guy who was ready/willing to provide them the relationship stuff I wasn’t ready/willing to provide, and that’s not cool to me.

      But it definitely sucks. Welcome to the game. 🙂


      • Ya, but it’s just annoying. It just seems like you lose ’em either way. For different reasons, sure….but it still hurts. Like, some srs inward beta feelz rite now. I’m fighting really hard to a) not abandon my mission and pursue her, and b) not take advantage of her by dangling the possibility of a relationship in front of her. It’s upsetting — I feel like ‘fuck, man I just got here…and it’s over already?’

        Just comparing this 7 and the 5.5 to the 6 also pisses me off. The 6 is just kind of a shitty person, so I’m probably just going to see less of her too (my own choice) — which leaves me back at square effing 1 soon. lol. What’s annoying is that, ya, game will work on all women in general….but it does seem like finding legit cool girls is somewhat of a numbers game. (Maybe the odds are stacked better in your favor during daygame).

        I guess the good thing is that you learn a lot about yourself and what ‘does it for you’ in a quasi-relationship setting. Idc what science or whatever says, the ‘besides looks’ stuff a woman does matters — a lot.

        Thanks for the write-up, it helped.


      • Great video of Tyler’s worth watching on this subject, Scray. You’ve probably seen it, but still helpful to rewatch.

        Great stuff guys.

        Wish I had advice to share on this.


      • Another good bit of advice, from a guy who got into game as a natural, paraphrased:

        “Yeah man, if you were at the right place I’d say ‘do whatever the fuck you want,’ but you’re not there yet. When you’ve really made the most of yourself, you’ll see that none of the normal rules apply to you and you can just do whatever you want, on your terms — because it’s just all about value. For example, I dated a single mom. None of the normal rules applied — she wanted to put our relationship first, the kids, without me doing shit, liked me better than their dad. All the normal drama applied, but in reverse…like, my presence rendering the other guy irrelevant and this woman just wanting me at the center of her world. She went as far as to say she wanted to start a new family with me — essentially erasing the last one.

        I dated a girl who had the typical ‘alpha ahole ex,’ and she just forgot all about him. He even tried to get back in her life — they sense another alpha rolling in their midst — and my non-reactivity presaged her completely going cold on him. No love left — all given to me.

        In the future, there really won’t be any bad circumstances for you. Just questions of how you want to set up your life, what you’re willing to put up with; people will be willing to give you whatever you want, though — even to their detriment. You’re not there yet, though…so, the play is to just move on and keep working on yourself.”

        I was skeptical about the situs he described, but then he just applied the Brad Pitt test to those ‘typical’ dating situations.

        “Ya okay, well imagine this — your mom was single for some part of your childhood, right? Let’s say one day she brings home Brad motherfucking Pitt. Brad Pitt is a new male rolemodel for you. Are you seriously going to say that your Dad can step to Brad Pitt? Never. Everyone knows value. You love your dad, but you will admire Brad Pitt more.

        Same with the girl who had the ex — do you think she’ll give a flying fuck about him when Brad Pitt comes walking through the door? Nah. It’s just about value. That’s where you’re trying to get…being a good, high value man.”

        I was almost like……..Yareally………is this u?


      • “Are you seriously going to say that your Dad can step to Brad Pitt? Never. Everyone knows value. You love your dad, but you will admire Brad Pitt more.”

        If you can write or say that and believe it, you have one seriously fucked up family life.


      • I would not prefer Brad Pitt to my own dad.

        But a materialistic chick surely would. Yes he has a good point. Female hypergamy implies it’s all about value, once some barriers are out of the way.


      • ” … the ‘besides looks’ stuff a woman does matters — a lot. …”

        Very very true. My wife still looks hot (just a fact) but I get so sick of her sometimes. It’s personality. Looks are like the furniture. Oh yes, it is important, but not the most important.

        I think you may have to come to terms with this: you are a man of authority. You meet a girl, make a relationship, guide it, and decide when to leave it. Game contains some tools that you use for this, but that’s all it is.

        The forces that cause you to leave this relationship are bigger than we are, so be humble about that. But with her, you have authority and the corresponding responsibility. I can tell you’re worthy of it. Women, for all their weaknesses, will be generally better for having known you. They don’t want perfect men, they want men.

        The white knight instinct, that I took a while to root out in myself, is the opposite of appropriate for today’s women. They crave experience and emotional swings. You’re a good man, a good relationship, and that’s good and usually that’s all they could hope for.


    • An unsurpassed series of idiotic choices, truly epic. ‘What were they thinking’ doesn’t even begin to cover it.

      And it reveals character too.

      “One night, Nigel overhears Amanda on the phone, begging her mother to take the entire $500,000 that Nigel’s family has largely raised and using it to pay just for her.”

      Women, such nice people. Yet this little aside just might be the cherry on top:

      “[While they are hostages in Somalia] Nigel is floored to learn that Amanda’s mother had, 11 years ago, joined a cult in Japan and been held hostage herself.”

      (The seasoned CH reader might of course wonder how Amanda just happens to get herself taken hostage and raped, again and again and again. What bad luck, eh?)


  90. Hi. I was just wondering if someone could help me out with a bit of information.

    I know that this site has, in the past, written about and linked to important information indicating that women hate beta males, and suggesting why they do so.

    Does anyone recall any specific posts from this site, or URLs to which this site might have linked, that explain this phenomenon? Thanks.


  91. ADDENDUM: I know that this site has many informative and citation-supported posts explaining the fact that women dig jerks, and why they do so. I was just wondering if anyone could recall a specific post here, or a study linked from here, which explained the corollary – i.e., that women actually, actively *dislike* nice guys, and why. I’m trying to research this, and any help would be much appreciated.



    • Look up posts where CH says that women hate hate hate beta males, which is what he calls “nice guys”.


    • A lot of what Chateau Heartiste says is supported by evo-psychology, you can also try the site

      not because they say it better than CH, but because to a lot of people an article written by a psychologist will seem more believable.


    • Don’t have specific links, but I believe the general theory is that alphas are seen as winners and betas as losers. To be approached by a loser confers loser status back on the chick. It is an insult to her perception of her value.


  92. Nope, you’re all wrong. The dude who followed this dumb Aussie cunt to Somalia wins the BOTM. Dude follows brainless bitch to Somalia, obviously hoping to tap dat ass, and instead has to sit and listen as skinnies tap dat ass instead.


  93. on September 1, 2013 at 4:07 pm Sideshow Billybob

    Aww, Scalzi isn’t #1 in your poll? How beta of you. Welcome to the club!


  94. Best comment on the cake photo page: “I bet she left you for Bluto.”


  95. on September 1, 2013 at 9:48 pm Eliezer Ben-Yehuda

    Just printed up my new T-shirt.

    It shows the following URL beneath the statement: “This is what a feminist talks about”


  96. Poetry guy looks a bit like Mark Zuckerberg.


  97. on September 1, 2013 at 10:32 pm gunslingergregi

    so I go to county fair with another chick spur of moment after wedding was gonna drop her off and she asked me to stay had a camper set up there and shit so I stayed night and hung out next day
    ex chick called I didn’t answer
    so i’m coming home and get phone blown up with ten calls
    now how the fuck this bitch know I got home
    she had access to my phone although she might be able to have neighbor call her but is there a gps program that can be used to see location and if there is how can you disable it
    he he he
    every time I get another bitch or close to one this bitch comes on like gang busters at least its predictable
    she wanted me to pick her up bla bla bla
    fighting with husband wanted to leave why she was blowing up
    he said your wife wants to talk to you lol
    then she keeps calling back I say i’m good right now she can clean my house tomorrow for my other chick to come over and then she like i’m bored lol
    but then phone hangs up prob took another beatdown but hey she must like it


    • on September 1, 2013 at 10:38 pm gunslingergregi

      dam this chick still in my head not as bad as before but yea shit
      hard for another bitch to compete with a chick that will do anything almost you want her too grrrrrr
      and you want her to be doin anything you want


    • on September 1, 2013 at 10:44 pm gunslingergregi

      oh yea after he said wife shit and she ain’t mine she said at least he puts a smile on my face
      which ok yea I have changed her life in certain ways she don’t even rob stores no more plus I do got the pics with the real smile
      I still can’t promise the chick a future so really its all just playtime I guess
      in some ways
      guess have a bit of play makeup fun then send her back


  98. on September 1, 2013 at 10:48 pm gunslingergregi

    Polyamory involving only one male: Alpha. Polyamory with two or more males involved: Omega.… 2 days ago ”””””””

    yea right who would of thought jesus Christ
    is it the same if the chick moves back in and isen’t with other dude


  99. Alpha of the Month: Robin Thicke. He was cool, calm and collected with that near naked hot bitch Miley slobbering all over him.


  100. How is that a poem? Breaking up the sentences into different lines does not make it a poem. There is not a trace of artistic merit in this drivel. It is not a poem, not art, not anything. Just self indulgent rubbish with no objective value whatsoever.


  101. Perfectly ordered. I thought after every one of these: “man, this is going to be hard to top”, and sure as shit, each one in order tops the last. My BS detector went off hard on #5, but there seemed to be just enough credence based off of news stories to give it my vote.

    Also, holy shit is that Polish woman ugly. She’s a 3 on a good day! Who, but a sad sack beta would girlfriend that hag up, much less stick around while she got nailed by hundreds of men? Her STD profile must be a thing of wonder!


  102. This shit is almost literally unbelievable. “Come to terms”?????? I can’t even begin…..There is no greater beta than this. You can’t fucking top this man……..How???….


  103. Beta of the month is here

    Fabregas-a multi millionaire football player of FC Barcelona ends up with 38 years old granny gold-digger, buys out the property from her ex-husband.Simply disgusting story.


    • That is a-****ing-mazing. I’m not surprised they are “no longer accepting comments on this article”. The outrage would be priceless.


  104. is there any doubt about the nym/pho’s BF?


  105. Not-thrilled boyfriend. Hands-down, even if its a fake.

    Poetry-man? Just sad. Divorce-cake? He’ll get over it. Divorced-advice? Still in the process of getting over it. Photoshopped-twat. Pfft.

    Not-thrilled boyfriend, though? Seriously, he’ll take his position in-line as #100,001 after the other guys are through with her? That really puts sloppy-seconds into perspective.


  106. there is a MOOC about Mozilla Badges and their usage by private employers. What is going to happen to affirmative action if this becomes commonplace?

    WCET to Launch MOOC on “Badges as New Currency for Professional Credentials” with Mozilla, Blackboard Inc. and Sage Road Solutions LLC

    WCET is one of the branches of WICHE one of the major credentialing guilds. Look at their member roster:


  107. The poet;

    I think in the first half of the video he is sincere while in the second he is not

    in the first half he is a beta but one who has become aware of how women can be cruel and unfair to men

    in the first half he is himself; a man who was treated like a piece of crap by women

    in the second half he is trying to appease the feminists in the audience because he knows they have a lot of power ( especially if he is in college or University ) and he is a bit scared of them, but he does not actually believe that his reflection in the mirror is that of a rapist, that is bullshit to appease the angry feminists.

    He is not a totally blind beta, he has begun to see the true nature of women, maybe if he came over here at CH, his healing would progress further and faster?


  108. on September 2, 2013 at 7:24 pm gunslingergregi

    so now she changing tune and ok with sharing as long as I give her attention too
    he he he


  109. Last Monday Night FR / Almost-Lay Report:

    Yeah, I know this was a TERRIBLE idea, but for some reason I decided to go to a dance party at 12 in the morning on a Monday that was far as fuck from my house.

    I arrive off of the subway to reach my destination. Met cute girl at stoplight. We sort of see each other, but we seem to be going to the same place. I open her and make small talk about the venue and this being my first Monday night dance party. I sort end the convo/run out of things to say while we’re in line together, so it gets awkward, but at this point, I’m less afraid of stuff like that. My rsd pua buddy arrives (he actually studies the stuff, so whenever we go out, we do really well cuz we’re in sync). We chit chat about RSD and game and online-gaming (his speciality). We enter the venue and it’s amazing. The music is some of the best I’ve ever heard and I’m just dancing like I don’t care what happens. RSD Buddy doesn’t go out very often so he’s awkwardly dancing next to me. After awhile, I begin to notice a couple groups of hispanic girls checking me out. One group of girls has a busty HB7.5-8 in it. She looks over from time to time from across the room, and I KNOW I should approach her, but I end up never doing so. I also notice these two girls dancing with each other, but dancing pretty close to me and my buddy. At one point I see a guy sort of hang around them and talk to them, and they seem receptive, but he leaves and then they sort of dance around me again (I later find out he’s the prettier girl of the two’s bf).

    Anyway, RSD and I take a break from dancing (gets a bit hot) and head outside. He seems to still be a bit out of state, but of course after going out a lot, I’m already super pumped. I tell him it’ll be find and just move. I talk about how we’ll never see anyone in there again and we should let loose. He says I’m right and we head back in. We go inside and he immediate plays this game where he suggests how we should dance (like a T-rex, for example) and we just improve off of that. We do a few of those, but somehow I feel self conscious that we’re dancing so ridiculously. He ends up in state and I feel like… meh, okay, I guess, but not as pumped as before. I start looking around and then I think, great I’m out of it.

    I talk a seat and the girl with the bf (i’m unaware of her having a bf) sits by me. The dude shows up again talking to her friend. I immediately ask:

    Me: Is that your bf?
    Dancer: Yeah.
    Me: (I nod in acknowledgement)
    Dancer: He’s cool though.
    Me: Yeah, sure 🙂

    Bf comes over. They talk and leave to go back on the dancefloor. At this point I realize my issue with taking the conversation somewhere and sort of do nothing. I look over and my buddy’s having a convo with a random girl. I think to myself, good for him.

    I start dancing again and there is this black chick (a 6) dancing near me. We make eye contact, I sort of give her a smirk and then look away. She’s immediately grinding up on my dick without any aggressiveness on my part. Then I accidentally overreact by only rubbing her ass on my crotch (not really pulling away to dance normally, giving her just a taste, etc) and she dances away.

    I feel better though cuz I got some validation so that worked out, I guess 🙂 Later the big group of hispanic girls (5 or 6 set, busty HB7.5-8 included) somehow is right next to me and I smell fart lol One of the chicks points to me and says:

    “Eww whats that smell? I bet this guy did it.” (Group laughs)
    Me: LOLOL yeah it was definitely me! (agree & amplify)

    They sort of stand there amazed waiting for me to say something else, but of course I don’t and then motion to my friend and say “Hey man, lets dance!” and we dance and the girls sort of leave our area.

    We sort of stop dancing for a while and I expect tonight to be yet another night of me not pushing myself. Luckily RSD Buddy has other plans.

    Then I guess I’m walking through the club and I make eye-contact with this Indian girl. She’s nothing special (a 5, to me) and her friend (a 6, with a great body) are on the dancefloor. Personally I didn’t give a shit, but RSD is into her friend and I’m sort of like, okay, don’t wanna be a downer when we haven’t really done anything all night so I engage the Indian girl while my buddy goes for the HB6 Nigerian girl. Turns out they’re both from London and are leaving soon.

    I end up dancing with the Indian girl. Honestly, I was not into her at all, so the rest of this report is just me wanted to practice physically escalating. Furthermore, they were definitely under the influence, but not trashy falling on their asses drunk. I can tell RSD is escalating with his girl, trying to kiss her while, but pulling back at the same time. I mimic him and do the same, telling my girl to kiss me, she says no. We tease each other the whole night (again, for practice). A funny phenomenon I’ve been running into lately is that sometimes when I’m dancing with a girl, (as in this case), she’ll pull away from me and go dance with another nearby guy. Of course, I don’t give a shit, so I sort of stand there and watch. The guys ends up being a chode, and she pulls away from him, comes back to me and we continue to dance. This happens a few more times and then I just stop taking her back.

    “Oh, so now you wanna dance with me again huh? Go talk to that guy, fine by me lol”

    Then she comes on me and we dance again, each time with me escalating more than before. More push and pull attempts later, we make out and whoop-dee-doo I don’t like it, but I endure for my wing’s sake. Suddenly my girl wants to drink more. She orders more drinks and says I should drink. I drink a little bit, but not enough to even get me tipsy. We dance/makeout for a bit longer. We bounce our girls outside and get drinks at a local store. Somehow, I just follow the whole C1 to C3 stages without even thinking. We just talk about our lives, I make fun of her English accent and we hold hands.

    We get to my friends car, drive them back to their apt complex on the 16th floor, but my girl wants to drink (I don’t like this at all/this is a turnoff for me, in general). We drive around a bit longer and my girls asleep. So I’m like, “YAY I won’t have to fuck her!”

    Unfortunately, the 6 said if her friend ends up sleeping than maybe we won’t be able to hangout. My friend looks at me pleadingly so i’m like FINE I’ll hangout with her.

    We go up to their place on the 16th floor (I think one of them has a lot of money or whatever) and we separate. I can her my friend and her having sex while I’m in the living room with my girl who’s trying to have sex with me. Long story short, doesn’t happen and I wake up the next morning and rush home to log-in on time. While I didn’t have sex it as nice to see how the whole process is supposed to play out. I have had a ONS before but I dunno, dong it and see it through now as opposed to college gave me a good idea of how things should go.

    Other interesting points to note:

    I have a couple more field reports to write, but some major highlights include:

    1) Approaching a two-set on the street and pushing through the awkwardness until they actually walked away from me lol (that was awesome)
    2) Developing body language – it’s a lot less finnicky and twitchy than it was before, because I pretty expect approaches to go really well or go no where.

    3) I finally think I’m ready to do daygame – Did a few daygame approaches/high-fives with a buddy of mine who wants to get into pickup and it went really well in terms of dealing with the pressure. I really think daygame is a possibility for me now.

    4) Definitely in control of my thoughts a lot more than before – when I get into a conversation, I sort of feel safer. There’s not a lot of stress or fear because I know the person will contribute barely anything to the convo at first, so I use some routines to get them active and interested. Saturday and Sunday have been great for realizing the newfound confidence I had, even though I still have a ways to go.

    5) Finally physically led an interaction – You’ll read this in the next field report (okay so to be fair, this cute girl with a nice ass HB6.5-7 approached me and my buddy, but she was just trying to get away from this creepy dude hitting on her and really wasn’t open to talking at first… kind of just sat next to us not saying anything even when I said stuff to her lol) that I bounced this chick to the dance floor AFTER building attraction. Sort of fucked up afterwards (was again too aggressive once we made our way to the dance floor, tried to get her number but i was so turned on that I couldn’t focus lol my phone was also dead, so that didn’t help), so I’m trying to work on not grinding so much and instead periodically pulling away to try and dance like a fun guy (at least if I can tell she’s not comfortable – social calibration and all that).

    6) I’m going to start approaching all girls, no matter how hot – Whenever I egotistically decide in my head that I’m only going to approach hot girls, I ironically never end up approaching anybody cuz I make excuses I already formulated in my head (i.e. not hot enough). So “approach all” is my next goal.

    7) FINALLY stopped asking questions, to interesting results – Stopped asking interview questions and instead made statements. Worked really well.. surprisingly well actually. However, the new problem is I’ll say things to just get a reaction out of her. I’ll say a sentence STOP… say another sentence STOP… this is a bad thing lol

    This has just happened a few times, but in general I’ve gotten some great responses from girls. Going to experiment more on this front.

    Okay guys, I’ve been really enjoying this process and I hope to have some daygame stories this week… really the only excuse holding me back is that I have to lug my computer bag and it makes me uncomfortable approaching with it on my back. I dunno, guess I should do it anyway. Once I leave downtown, it’s really hard going right back into the city.

    Still have to write experiences from Labor Day weekend. Still reading Scray’s FR’s and of course, they’re gold. Learning a lot. I wish Lumpy could compile Immoral’s FR’s as well.

    Anyway, I’m looking forward to the coming days. I really feel like I’m making progress! Also, I live near campus so definitely going to do some daygame with college girls over there after work once school starts.

    Thanks guys!


  110. on September 3, 2013 at 2:32 am gunslingergregi

    my dick is fucking exhausted
    so I let ex chick come over day before I got another chick driving down
    and of course she was ready to move back in
    she knew about it knew the bitch told me she loved me 2nd date and shit
    yea some mindblowing makeup sex
    took her to cookout made another chick jealous
    I predicted the outcome of this and yea all according to plan
    even me not letting her back he he he
    she kept saying tomorrow we’ll do this tomorrow we’ll do that
    me tomorrow I got that other chick comin down
    it was close though
    ok she broke me at end hahahahahhaahahahha
    but when balls deep in a chicks throat it can be tempting to say anything
    she was like if I stay it has to be permanent
    dam bitches and there demands
    but yea she knew it was sex talk and I dropped her off he he he


    • on September 3, 2013 at 2:37 am gunslingergregi

      should be a maxim or something a chick will come along at any point when you are spending the day with a different chick for a week to try and lock you down
      so first it was if you get rid of your wife
      then ok I could share you with wife I just need attention
      then i’m ready to move in permanently
      then agreeing to me seeing other chicks she doesn’t
      whats next who knows


      • on September 3, 2013 at 2:43 am gunslingergregi

        did 50 reps bench with her little ass on the bed she was impressed
        just like you did that so easy
        what a day


  111. on September 3, 2013 at 5:20 am The Burninator

    Poet kid is annoying, but more annoying is that he has fans.

    Cake schlub got my vote. There’s visual proof (kind of…arms are unnaturally big on that shrew).

    Beaten down beta cum new omega guy’s list is revolting, but pretty standard fare these days, especially in the Hyperosphere (aka social media zones like FB and Twitter).

    Dress boob is too high profile, need to keep this at amateur level to make it fun.

    Serious doubts the Polack schlub and his Whore Wonder are legit.

    So, if not ‘Shopped, then Cake Schlub gets my nod.


  112. I voted for number 3 and the reason is it will actually pass off as good advice. The others are really Omega of the month. The other shit is so pathological , its like shit that you can smell and walk around. #3 is is being poured into the water supply.


  113. on September 3, 2013 at 11:30 pm Kinesthetic Wonder

    Freakin Hillarious. I love these Beta Male Exposes. Speaking of Beta male. I actually used a beta male orbiter in my game. This weekend I met a tiny little cutie with a bachelors degree and 10 years my junior at 26. Not very experienced with men, possible keeper. In the course of our convo today i asked about her friends and she mentions her Beta Orbiter.

    Girl:”..and then there’s my best guy friend. Gay Beta Male. We’re very close.”

    Me:”Oh. Is he like your little male orbiter?”

    Girl:”What’s that?”

    Me:”That is the best guy friend who secretly wants to get it on with you and hangs around for 15 years desperately hoping you’ll notice him.”

    Girl:*Laughs*”Yes, that’s him.”

    Me:”Yeah, but then you always end up with an asshole like me. hahaha”

    Girl:”Are you really an asshole like that?”

    Me:”Pretty much.”

    Girl:”I kinda suspected that about you..”

    Me:”Opinions vary.. treat me with respect and you won’t see it.”

    The girl is eating out of my hand…


  114. These are men???? Jesus, no wonder they can’t keep a woman. Women are simple creatures, they want/need a man who is in charge and doesn’t take her crap. If she starts you kick them to the curb, they come crawling back – they assumed you were a limp-wristed pansy like the other guys – you can now treat her as you wish, and she’ll be there on your terms.

    The key with any woman is to understand that they get off on being treated like dirt. They grow up thinking that is all they are, so if you treat them in any other way, they cannot get their head wrapped around it. So you pull her hair like it’s the reins when you’re riding her, and treat her like she is there ONLY for your pleasure, she will purr. She knows her place and what she needs to concentrate on – keeping you happy.

    You can do as you like, no skin off my nose. It works well for me – of course I’m a lot older than they are and they know I’m not like the children they usually date, so it works well for me.


  115. Hahaha actually came here to submit number 5! Good to know others had the same reaction I did!


  116. Beta of the month?

    … Welcome to Beta of the Century
    She cheated on him & he still proposed…


  117. on September 5, 2013 at 11:47 am Amanjaw Marcuntte

    Including Scalzi in a BOTM contest is like having A-Roid compete in a T-Ball challenge.

    Lest ye forget:


  118. The “Divorced Husbands” are the most F##CKED!!
    The boyfriends at least have no legal ties with their whore (or the whores that owns them) makes sense.


  119. It’s interesting to think of the effort ratio between scalzi and dudebro. Memes are surprisingly powerful tools for mocking and they take 10 seconds to make on quickmeme.