Funny Shit Fatties Do

In my travels far and WIDE, I have seen fat people do some really funny shit, usually unintentionally, or have funny shit happen to them on account of their abnormal size, weight, girth and texture. Can’t forget texture.

– Unknowingly dribble food bits and drink down their chins. A fatty completely oblivious to the organic particulates accumulating outside his mouth is a comedic sight to behold.

– Knock over chairs and rattle tables as they were shimmying into seats at restaurants. I once witnessed a fatty so humongous and ill-equipped to navigate her own circumference turn over an entire four-seater table in slo-mo, as her massiveness rounded the bend and she settled her planetary obstruction into her pitiably undersized chair. The table came crashing to the ground, spilling dinnerware and a sad candle onto the floor with a loud clatter.

– Fart with the slightest exertion at the waist. No matter how uptight you are, you won’t be able to restrain a chortle when you hear a fatty rip a sonorous cheek-flapper as she’s bending over a mere inch to straighten a wrinkle on her tent pants. And lest you think you can politely hide your amusement, remember that a fatty’s fart is ten times as loud as a normal weight person’s fart, given that the fatty’s back draft has multiple zones of blubber to travel before final release. You’d think this would act to muffle the offending blast, but instead, like a geothermal well, pressure builds until the equivalent of a refinery’s worth of gas has parted the outer ass layer, and the slapping of cheese-cleaved butt roasts produces a ten-piece trumpet tremolo worthy of the Philharmonic.

– Break a chair. Yes, despite its clichéd nature, I remember clear as the day the time a fatty sat her bulk on a chair and one of the back legs gave out, flinging her backwards like a post-breach whale. She landed with such adiposity that… and I swear this as Lucifer is my unholy mentor… she bounced a little upon impact.

– Take a direct hit from an out-of control bicyclist and barely nudge as the guy on the bike goes flying in the opposite direction. A particularly overgrown specimen of fatty — a man weighing in the arena of 400 pounds, mostly confined to the belly and, steatopygially, to the buttocks — was winged by a bicyclist who, inexplicably, didn’t see the fatty before it was too late to avoid collision. The fatty took the brunt of the front wheel’s tangential blow to the bull’s-eye on his hanging midsection and fell back two steps, still miraculously on his feet, while the bicycler, and his bike, ricocheted like a bank shot pool ball at a tidy 45 degree angle from point of contact, finishing their macabre pirouette in a heap on the ground, front wheel futilely spinning in the air, grasping for asphalt that wasn’t there. The fatty did eventually fall to his feet, but only well after the dust had cleared, ostensibly to catch his breath from the blow’s radiating shock waves of pain, thirty seconds post-crash, that were just reaching his delicate innards. Bystanders rushed to help the bicyclist but assistance for the fatty was, of course, beyond anyone’s ability, given that no witness appeared able to deadlift 400 pounds of dangerously shifting weight.

– Absorb a sunburn in a perfect circle on the abdomen. A fatty female who, incomprehensibly to those with sense, was wearing a bikini and sunbathing on her back, stood up to reveal a bright red spot that circumnavigated the entirety of her yeast-risen belly. The perfect geometry and smoothness of edge was astounding, and gave her front the look of a red-rumped baboon in heat.

– Smoosh flip-flops into micron-thin atomic layers. Take a look at a fatty’s flip-flops sometime. Notice how wafer-thin the soles are. Then laugh as you wonder if the flip-flop’s atomic lattice was pressurized into a new periodic table element.

– Push seven large, sweating and grunting, adult men to the breaking point during the Horah. No further elucidation needed.

– Since this is a non-denominational shaming session, I once saw a fatty with tits so grossly inflated completely bury her Madonna-esque crucifix in folds of breast blubber. Jesus wheezed.

And my favorite fatty funny….

– Listen to a fat chick expound at length about her “great catch” boyfriend, only to watch her unscripted surprise when he showed up, apparently uninvited, at the social gathering we were attending, and thereby proved without a doubt, by evidence of both his notable lack of swagger and blank personality, just how far he actually was from being a “great catch”. But the best part was when, later, she asked for a sip of his beer and then proceeded to chug nearly half the bottle, leaving him with a sorry puddle of dregs at the bottom, which he stared at forlornly for an uncomfortably long spell.

Some people, probably fat asses themselves, with a constitutional aversion to the idea of mocking fat fucks for fun and aesthetic profit, have forwarded CH a study* which claims to show that fat shaming doesn’t work as a method to persuade fatties to slim down. To that, I say, that’s not shaming! You want shaming, I’ll give you shaming. Real shaming, not this pussyfoot crap based on an amorphous concept like “discrimination” favorable to Narrative guidelines.

*There is a major flaw with the “fat shaming” study. Specifically, the researchers relied on self-reporting questionnaires that asked whether participants had experienced discrimination. Anyone who is familiar with the hamster rationalizing of assorted losers in life, such as fat grotesqueries and chisel-chinned feminists, will tell you how adept those people are at blaming anyone but themselves for their wretched wretchedness. So it should be no surprise that a bunch of fat shits waddled into a quiet study to fill out a form with cheetos-stained fingers blaming the equivalent of THE MAN for their love of wolfing down greasy fried food and pints of ice cream.

Now, if you want real shaming that actually BITES, try shaming fat shits with methods proven to work. Charge them more to use public transit. Laugh openly at them. Make a spectacle of them. Flay their souls for the mirth of the cheering, howling mob, a la Chateau Heartiste. Sneer at, belittle, and viciously mock them. Or, if you prefer the crueler, subtler art of soul shivving, converse with them in innuendo and sly entendre that lets them know, forever and ever, how repulsive they are to normal people.

If, after years of this psychological torture, most fatties don’t find the fortitude to push away from the table, then you may say that shaming doesn’t work. But I suspect, rather strongly based on real world observation, that many fatties would discover in themselves a hidden untapped well of willpower, and lose the weight. For those fatties who prefer to abandon all hope under the social shaming onslaught and retreat to a dank bedroom to eat until they explode, well, consider it culling the herd. Evolution in action. The untimely dispatch of a species’ deformed members gets a bad rap, but it’s a good thing for the species’ survival as a whole. And the slim phoenix that rises from the rendered ashes will be a good thing for lovers, such as CH, of truth and beauty and sexy babes who can inspire authentic boners.


  1. Fuck this.


  2. Shaming fatties is like Christians shaming sinners into religion.

    The only good shame will bring is if the person being shamed is willing to change for the better…or stay in their cocoon of fat and suffering. Personally their demons want the attention…and negative hatred feeds those demons.

    Give them incentive for being thin. I smell great, I can walk without wheezing, I’m attractive to the opposite sex, I get a better feeling working out than eating, I can by most clothes because they have my size, etc. Shame their lousy demons by telling them what a great life you have…and that you could care less what they think.

    Most fatties are they way they are because that is the only way they get negative attention. I say ignore that.


    • on July 31, 2013 at 1:33 pm Steve Johnson

      “Give them incentive for being thin. I smell great, I can walk without wheezing, I’m attractive to the opposite sex, I get a better feeling working out than eating, I can by most clothes because they have my size, etc.”


      How about showing off how great you smell because you wipe your ass after you take a shit?

      Or that you shower once per week?

      Or don’t jerk off on the subway?

      Or maybe we can have some fucking standards for what is required to be an accepted member of society and we bully the ever living shit out of people who do disgusting things and make us all watch or smell.


    • on July 31, 2013 at 3:16 pm Imperial Leather

      You talk like a female, is it always stream of consciousness bullshit with you, whatever little thoughts happen to cross your mind in the moment has to be instantly posted….gay

      Try waiting it out first belting out instacomments


      • He doesn’t talk like a female. He is a strong Christian man with morals.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 3:37 pm Imperial Leather



      • on July 31, 2013 at 4:01 pm Hugh G. Rection

        Can you be my internet bodyguard if earl doesn’t mind sharing?


      • sure, with pleasure. I don’t like people talking mean for no reason.


      • Come up with a better retort than insults and we’ll talk.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 4:39 pm Imperial Leather

        but its ok for you to insult and shame fatties I guess


      • Show me where I insulted fat people.

        All I did was talk about my life…and I’m not fat.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 5:02 pm Imperial Leather

        Did you write this or not, did you call them fatties or not, are you not shaming them by telling them what a “great life you have” or not according to you criteria. Did you not claim they are full of demons and you could not care less what they think….. is that not shaming.

        “Shame their lousy demons by telling them what a great life you have…and that you could care less what they think.

        Most fatties are they way they are because that is the only way they get negative attention. I say ignore that.”

        40 – love – Set Point

        now STFU and think through your thoughts first


      • If I have to pick my favorite from the Deadly Seven, it woul surely be Lust, not Gluttony.


      • Oh I see.

        Telling the truth is insulting.

        Would you prefer I tell them that everything is okay…as their health, mind, and relationships slowly deteriorate? I’d prefer they live a better life…and I walk the talk.

        30 years old 6’3″ 200…body fat 12%. I go to the gym 5 days a week to do strength training and some cardio. I sleep well, I have energy, I can basically do what I want and I’m called upon to do.

        Now Mr. Leather…what are your stats? Or would that be too insulting?


      • on August 1, 2013 at 6:01 am Imperial Leather

        and I told you the truth gearl

        and you got insulted like a gearl

        and like a gearl you want it both ways

        thou doth protesteth too much like a gearl

        you blubber and bluster incomprehensibly far too often and contribute just like a gearl

        STFU for a change, think through your thoughts and wait before you instacomment


      • Seems like the problem is that Imperial’s ‘leather’ is still attached to the cow…


      • on July 31, 2013 at 6:40 pm Syd Barrett

        A liitle touchy aren’t we ?? Let me make a guess, your either someone of great rotund girth, or your ” special” someone is.


    • on July 31, 2013 at 4:06 pm Frank Wunder

      earl, you leave some of the best comments here and on other blogs where they much needed.


  3. you’re doing the Lord’s work Heartiste. the fat acceptance movement is pure evil.


  4. lol good post.

    One of my favorites was watching Jeff Ross do this (skip to 6:25, tho the whole thing is pretty good):


  5. Fat shaming works. I shamed my fat cousin into losing weight by telling her the truth: ‘You look like a short, round basketball. You think you’re going to get a quality husband? You’re not 16 anymore, a wacky metabolism is no longer an excuse at 22. You want help? I’ll give you help.’

    Encouragement works too, when the fatty has decided to try. I go out of my way to not mock people in the gym, if it’s not January. I was a cardio partner with one guy for 8 months while he went from (I shit you not) 350lbs to 310lbs. He’s on a different time schedule now, but a couple of years later he’s about my size (5’11”, 185lbs) after hard work losing that blubber.

    Mind you, he already had the will, he made a decision. He was working at it, I was just there to chat with during that boring hour of cardio.

    Most women, on the other hand, lose a couple of pounds and declare victory. Worse, they see-saw the weight gain. They get thinner for some event and then pile it back on. One gal I knew was going home to visit family an friends she hadn’t seen in 10 years. She lost 25lbs in a couple months of running, and promptly put on 40lbs when she got back in a couple months.

    She tried f*cking me when she got back, and it lasted a couple weeks because that extra 25lbs (I didn’t wait for the whole 40 to stop f*cking) made her look like a pig in bed.


  6. for some reason i miss jayman…


  7. Screw shaming the fat. The SMP and pop-culture already put them in their place, what else is a few mocking voices going to do?

    Instead, shame the fat enablers. No mercy for beta fatty fuckers and HWP chicks who entertain “friendships” with whales. This is how change will happen.


    • Shaming doesn’t work. I was a fat fuck from about age 10 to 15. I was mercilessly tormented at school and in public. That torment didn’t override the enjoyment I had for candy bars, cookies and hostess treats.

      Finally one summer I decided enough was enough, and lost nearly 40 lbs while working on a construction site, and exercising regularly.

      Q: What encouraged me lose the weight?
      A: The need to get some pussy.

      It was amazing how much differently I was treated by classmates (especially the girls), when the thin dudester returned to high school that fall.

      [CH: Exclusion from the sexual market is a form of shaming.]


      • on July 31, 2013 at 3:36 pm 806B0FE96BF147

        Assuming your accomplishment isn’t a load of baloney (heh), you knew girls would be disgusted by your fatness (ashamed), so you lost weight. Your post is like a math student telling his teacher, “Ya know what? I gotsa da proof dat 2 + 2 don’t equalz da 4.

        1 + 3 equalz da 4.

        QED yo.”


      • 806B, what’s the matter? Are you in awe of a teenage metabolism being able to shed lotsa lard in a short time span?

        Don’t worry butterball, it might take you a little longer than a season, but I’m sure a strict regiment of Jenny Craig for a year or two will allow you to fit through your bedroom door.


      • on August 1, 2013 at 1:40 pm Dr. Zoidberg

        Totally doable with the right mindset. I lost 70 lbs. in about 5 months when I was 22.

        Then I started getting tail and it kept me running and going back to the gym.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 11:32 pm oreounchained

        I applaud your effort dudester, however you forget that most guys would rather peacock and throw a few negs in hopes of getting pussy than working up a decent sweat. Tell a guy he’ll fuck girls after a year or two of hard work and he’ll say: “fuck that…gimme that copy of The Game!! Neil Strauss is a bald Jesus!!”


    • HWP Chicks who entertain “friendships” with whales do so to make their relative SMV seem higher. Thin-ish girl at the club with a group of land whales gets hit on much more often. She’s also more likely to bash those “fat friends”.


  8. “You know why there are so many fat chicks?”

    “Because dudes keep fucking them”

    [CH: Correction: Because low value, loser dudes keep pumping and dumping them. Not a ringing endorsement for the fat chick lifestyle, that’s for sure.]


    • Some of them don’t have a choice. Isn’t the average American overweight at this point? Men have probably had to loosen their standards somewhat out of necessity.

      It’s good news for thin people, though. A woman with a face like a frog can do a lot better than she should, just because she’s healthy and fit.

      [CH: This is correct. The sexual market is a feedback machine, responsive to changing cues and available supplies. If most women were thin, like it was back in the glory days of pre-1965 America, facially unattractive girls would have it a lot harder than they do right now.]


      • “If most women were thin, like it was back in the glory days of pre-1965 America, facially unattractive girls would have it a lot harder than they do right now.]”

        God Bless America 🙂


      • The fats need motivation — male and female. The travesty of aesthetic that is the fatness affects women most — on a visual level. But, there’s a clear link between being an adipose dumpster and depressed testosterone. We all know what this blog has to say about testosterone:

        “Testosterone is the life blood of game. If you have low testosterone, your game will wither like parched fescue under a blazing August sun. High testosterone, and your game shines like a supernova.”

        Bottom line? For women, being a fat makes you less physically attractive. For men, being a fat makes you an effete communist.


      • And a fairy.


      • You leave Cameron Diaz alone!


    • If you aren’t fat you are already ahead of the game. I never really bought in to the whole notion that men date women of equal attractiveness level, but a quick glance at Facebook shows the beasts with the beasts. I actually know a lot of dudes who aren’t “fat” but don’t exercise or do any physical activity. Not surprisingly they have no game and haven’t been laid in forever.


  9. on July 31, 2013 at 12:43 pm RappaccinisDaughter

    The paragraph on farting made me laugh so loud a friend two offices over demanded to know what the hell was so fucking funny.


  10. I once witnessed a fat cunt on a bicycle slow as she approached a set of traffice lights that as she neared changed from red to amber. Being to fat and lazy to change down a gear she gave it some extra push on the pedals. The weight of her forward momentum caused her foot to slip off of the pedal and the stalk drove her foot in between the front forks and the spokes. She went gargantuan ass over pendulous tit across the handlebars and somersaulted onto her rear padding which unfortunately probably saved her from becoming a paraplegic. I supposes in its own way this incident gives the lie to survival of the fittest in the modern world and is an example of how the fat gene perpetuates.


  11. It’s funny cause he’s fat.

    In a way, The Hangover helped put a damper on the PC fat acceptance nonsense.


  12. I used to work with a guy who had a weight limit for his wife. I’m not sure the weigh in interval specifics, but she agreed to it and followed it.


  13. From my own real world observation I think you’re right that shaming would work on people who are overweight (say BMI 25+) but for the obese and morbidly obese (BMI 30 or 40+) you’re probably also looking at mental health issues where shaming would not actually work because of said mental health issues.

    Of the fat people I’ve known personally, and by fat I mean obese & morbidly obese, five of the seven were on some kind of head-meds and of the last two one of them probably should have been on some kind of meds.

    Like this guy who is so fat he can’t wipe himself any longer:
    he’s got to have some kind of head-space issues.

    Or this woman:
    who says “do any other mommies have problems wiping after having a bowel movement. I can hardly reach back there, and sometimes I even feel like I strain a muscle in my back…I am overweight, but not obese..”

    There is no way that this woman is so big she can’t wipe and is not also obese. Yet in her crazy world it makes sense for her to think she’s only “overweight”. She doesn’t just need to push away from the table, she needs a therapist.


    • It is known as t-rex syndrome. Disgusting but true.


    • One of my former subs was around 500 lbs. when we met (and lost a lot of weight under my hand) but he could still wipe and clean himself thoroughly. He was morbidly obese. If she can’t then she had to be at least that. Women are usually bendier and more dextrous than men.


  14. on July 31, 2013 at 1:01 pm Hugh G. Rection

    Also very funny: A fatty squeezed so tight into the booth at a diner that she can’t get out.


    • My buddies and I were on our annual guys weekend a few years back and were dining outside at a generic coastal seafood restaurant. The exterior seating was all crappy tables and those cheap bendy white plastic chairs (I’m sure you can see where this is going…)

      Anyway, at the next table over, two very large females were scarfing down fried seafood platters with two thin but extremely vocal and effeminate dudes. As they finished dinner and began to leave, a plastic chair–I shit you not–remained stuck to the gargantuan ass of one of the land whales as she arose from their table and took several steps towards the door. As if this wasn’t enough of a spectacle, the more boisterous of the gay dudes shouted, loud enough for the entire patio to hear [insert best stereotypical gay lisp here]: “Hey, where you going with that chair?!?!?” Much guffawing ensued from our corner. Fat shaming at its finest, and an oft-repeated story (and instant catchphrase) among our merciless little group.


  15. Off-topic, but if you know German (and even if you don’t…)

    Fairly famous speech, wherein an Austrian “far-right” MP who actually has some balls lambasts the Turks, repeatedly being interrupted with applause. He sticks a shiv into a leftoid female at just after 5:15, and the camera cuts to her for a bit. I can’t understand leftoids of that kind either.


    • He’s an idiot. “Whoa, Turks are less civilized than Austria”. In other words, water is wet and the sky is blue.

      He also mentions fringe cases like that one 16 year old being buried alive even though absolute fundamentalist hicks would lynch the person doing that with pleasure.


      • You’re not making any sense. But as your handle is “ho”, perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised.


      • He is referring to outliers. That guy who buried his granddaughter alive for talking to boys is similar to Joseph Fritzl. Most people in their respective countries reject such behaviour.

        If instead he merely mentioned generalities instead of using anectdotal evidence, his tirade would be better.


      • My bro was mugged in Western Europe by a pack of muzzies not long ago, and I got ripped off by muzzies there last year too. Not just one, but two people who hardly are even around them become victims of crime.

        Given the crime rate they’ve exhibited to my immediate family, I declare them a bunch of lowlives and at least as bad as gypsies.


      • Had a buddy and his friend who were jumped in Germany by a gang of Turks methheads. His face looked like pizza afterward. Luckily the polizi happened by when they did.


      • ……are you mentally ill? Gypsies are to arabs/turks what arabs/turks are to white europeans.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 11:35 pm Modern Primitive

        “He is referring to outliers.”

        FYI There’s a hell of a lot of outliers in Western Sydney. We have a whole police department called the Middle Eastern Crime Squad, but everyone knows that’s just Govt speak for “Muslim Lebansese Crime Squad.”


      • That’s not the outlier I was referring to I was talking about the dude who buried his granddaughter alive for being a “slut”. That’s an outlier. Muslims being barbarians in general is not.


      • That’s not the outlier I was referring to I was talking about the dude who buried his granddaughter alive for being a “slut”. That’s an outlier. Muslims being barbarians in general is not.

        Ok, now I understand. You weren’t quite clear before.


      • on August 1, 2013 at 4:45 pm Hugh G. Rection

        But he is correct, they’re exporting their radicals and illiterates to Europe and when one of them gets in trouble they’ll defend the guy. If someone from Europe gets in trouble in Turkey they’ll let him rot in prison or be killed or whatever.

        Look at the background of most criminals in Europe.


  16. I despise the fat, of course. I dealt with three such forms of wildlife at the post office today. Utterly worthless, yet gainfully employed.. Disgusting.

    Enjoy the shaming while it lasts. These pigs are being normalized now with this judeo-bullshit that obesity is somehow a “disease”. Pretty soon, “you fat fuck” will be on par with “fuck you, nigger”, “get away from me you fucking fag” and “you fucking jews are destroying the world”, and will land you in some fucked up hate crime nightmare. Like queers, the fat are a true multicultural “ethnic group” that covers all racial bases. It’s gonna be truly ugly when these beasts have the hammer of the law on their side.

    It’s coming. Until then, fuck you, you fat slobs.


  17. As much as I think this is way too harsh, I believe in telling somebody out of love, if they need to be told. In this part of the world we are generally quite straight in telling somebody if they need to lose weight, it’s not a shaming thing.. it can be as simple as saying to somebody “Hey you have gained a few pounds..” I’ve heard a woman saying “Wow you need to start counting calories” or “Maybe don’t eat so much cake”. It’s not something one would generally feel ashamed for, it would be motivating for them and snap them out of denial mode. But in your country I suppose speaking like this would be unacceptable, maybe if doctors and other health care providers were to urge more people to eat a little less BEFORE they get very big it would be a help. I do have compassion, because we all struggle with some kind of sin, and the root of this problem is a sin, gluttony. Other people comfort eat and shaming them would probably cause them to despair even more and eat even more to comfort themselves. We should let people know from a place of compassion, and concern for their health, but in a way that’s gentle but also firm. What they do with it is up to them, but ultimately it is their health on the line.

    I think also some women don’t feel motivated to lose weight because of the fact that there are SO many men who still give them attention. They think “Hey, I’ve still got it… why should I diet, men still like me”.. or in the case of a married woman “my husband loves me how I am.” This is the problem.


    • Weight gain after marriage is a very common thing here. (To be fair, many men gain too). I’m sure husbands aren’t calling their wives on it to avoid fights and hurt feelings, but… . it’s important. I dated a man who had no problem answering truthfully when I asked the dreaded “does this dress make me look fat?” He’d say, yeah, it’s not flattering. If I complained I gained a few pounds, he’d agree with me without reassuring me I still looked fine. Lol, it can feel harsh but if you care about being attractive to a particular person, you have to hear it. I don’t understand why a woman would stop caring about looking good to her partner. Doesn’t she care how her boyfriend/spouse looks??


      • Lol yes that’s not what we want to hear… but sometimes we need it, there’s nothing worse than somebody reassuring you “but you look fiiiiine” when you know for a fact you’ve gained.
        I also don’t know why women would stop caring about how they look…some women are just different I guess. I wouldn’t care so much if a spouse gained weight, ONLY I would be concerned if it got to a point where their health was at risk.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 11:42 pm Modern Primitive

        “Weight gain after marriage is a very common thing here.”

        From the Archives:

        “women tend to let themselves go once they’ve extracted marital vows from their men.”


      • “Weight gain after marriage is a very common thing here.”

        It’s known as “Pulling the Ripcord.”


  18. Also at the airport in UK this year my baggage was overweight, but my hand baggage was very light, so the flight attendant said to me instead of paying extra I could move 4kg to my hand baggage. Well I was trying to decide what to move as it was difficult-some of it was liquid which you can’t take carry on. and the man behind me starts complaining that I should have traveled lighter, he said it in a teasing way, but it made me turn around… then I saw that he weighed about 350 pounds and it made me want to ask him if he was paying for 2 seats, if not to stop complaining about how much I’m travelling with.

    But of course I kept my mouth closed.. but he did irritate me,


  19. Four stars. Heartiste is H.P. Lovecraft reincarnated as social satirist.


  20. I will never forget, from years ago, the table of four of the fattest fucks I have ever seen at a dim sum restaurant in my towm. I kid you not when I say the combined weight total of these hell beasts must have exceeded two metric tonnes. Their clothes were a motley collection of overalls, muumuus, and various other tent like structures passed off as sartorial creations.

    When my friend and I arrived the lazy susan on their table was already stacked high with dozens of empty woven dim sum baskets. We sat down, took our time, ordered various dishes and casually ate a leisurely pace. Afterwards we had coffee and chatted for approximately twenty minutes post meal. To our horror and amazement, when we finally got up to leave this family of grotesque mutants were still face first in piles of deep fried pork buns, greasy shrimp dumplings, spring rolls, cakes, custards, tarts, and various other fatty delights. Their visages all reflected a translucent layer of sweat, grease, and lard Lingering grease stains that blazed a trail down their fronts as fingers and hands slicker than light west texas crude sent pork dumplings tumbling down to disappear into their bulbous crotches.

    It was the most repellant display of fat-assery of have ever had the misfortune of witnessing. It is seared into my brain to this day. My hatred of fatties has since become almost pathological.


  21. I just thought maybe ration books would be an excellent tool for helping fight obesity. Like during the war.


    • on July 31, 2013 at 8:18 pm Alec Leamas

      Not really, because we’re generally talking about the sorts of people who would eat their months’ ration in a week and a half and then bitch about malnutrition for the last two and a half weeks of the month, at which point the powers that be would fold and give them what they’re demanding.


  22. on July 31, 2013 at 2:06 pm Hugh G. Rection

    “From their arms swing great folds of fat, like huge water-filled balloons. Their bellies are so vast that their owners could not have seen even their toes in years. And their bottoms constitute such an orotund object, with such a colossal circumference, that an entire school of carpentry is going to have to be invented to cope with their seating requirements.”


  23. You are quite correct about the flaws in that study. It’s a worthless piece of research.

    “Now, if you want real shaming that actually BITES, try shaming fat shits with methods proven to work.”

    Seat belts are another example you could have used. Sure, they are “proven” to work to get people to buckle up and use the crosswalk (at least, outside of New York City), but…

    “Charge them more to use public transit. Laugh openly at them. Make a spectacle of them. Flay their souls for the mirth of the cheering, howling mob, a la Chateau Heartiste. Sneer at, belittle, and viciously mock them. Or, if you prefer the crueler, subtler art of soul shivving, converse with them in innuendo and sly entendre that lets them know, forever and ever, how repulsive they are to normal people.”

    “If, after years of this psychological torture, most fatties don’t find the fortitude to push away from the table, then you may say that shaming doesn’t work. But I suspect, rather strongly based on real world observation, that many fatties would discover in themselves a hidden untapped well of willpower, and lose the weight.”

    …you’re living in a cloud on this one, man. I could say that all evidence we have on the matter shows grim, at best, prospects of this working. I could point out that people didn’t have more willpower back when people were thinner and they won’t have more in the future. But the fundamental issue is that we still don’t know what causes obesity (anyone who claims otherwise is lying), nor do we know how to treat it (and anyone who claims otherwise is full of it). Your solution is predicated on the belief that we do for both.

    The truth of the matter is there will be no solution for obesity at least the medium term. Certain appealing to “willpower” will not be it.


    • It’s a win-win for lovers of truthnbeauty like myself. If the shaming works, excellent. The world is now filled with more bangable women. If it fails, the relentlessly cruel social ostracism will at least remove fatties from my sight and possibly even remove them from the reproductive pool, once again leading to a better world, if on a longer time scale.

      As for causes of obesity, I will only say this: sixty years ago the great majority of Americans were thin. That this valhalla once existed in the not-distant past is all the proof we need that it can exist again in the not-distant future.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 2:45 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Sixty years ago, the great majority of Americans:

        a. Smoked. (Nobody wants to admit this, but smoking DOES make you thinner, regardless of diet and exercise. When I smoke five cigarettes a day, I’m 10 lbs lighter than when I’ve quit. This is with everything else remaining exactly the same–calorie intake, exercise, everything.)

        b. Treated restaurant meals as a rare and special treat. Fast food existed, but was also considered a rare and special treat.

        c. When they did eat food prepared outside the home, the portions were roughly analogous to what they would have gotten at home.

        d. Allowed their children to play outdoors, unsupervised, for hours at a time.

        e. Did not have video games or the Internet. TV existed: Three whole channels’ worth, in glorious black-and-white.

        f. Thought nothing of walking a couple of miles to go to the store, or to visit friends. “Walking distance” meant you could get there in under an hour on foot, not 200 yards.

        AND…yes, you are correct on this…

        g. Viewed being significantly overweight as a moral failure and felt zero remorse about making fun of obesity.


      • We also only had cartoons on Saturday morning.


      • d. Even when kids go out to play they can’t leave the front of their house or the block.
        Its crazy to think even back when I was a kid that the block would be packed with kids cause most of them couldn’t leave the block.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 3:47 pm Hugh G. Rection

        They also consumed far more dietary fat.


      • Yeah, is it really can’t be a coincidence that the pastafarian, no-fat low-fat craze coincided with a huge uptick in obesity. I recently saw a fatty mowing on a big bag of licorice proudly emblazoned with the words “FAT FREE!!!” on the side. I thought so? It’s a bag of surger. But stupid fatty reads this and thinks it’s healthier.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 3:52 pm Libertardian

        True. I’m amazed to see ice cream trucks still driving around my neighborhood given that (1) so many parents these days are terrified to let little Snowflake go more than 3 feet from them, lest they be snatched up by the supposedly ubiquitous pedophiles, and (2) there’s enough junk food in the average house already to feed a small South American country without any need to go outside for more.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 3:56 pm Libertardian

        Also, whenever I eat anything that I haven’t bought/fixed myself (i.e. that’s less full of all the radioactive crap they put in food these days) I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. That doesn’t motivate me to get up and exercise either.


      • on August 1, 2013 at 8:02 am RappaccinisDaughter

        No joke. I personally lay about 20% of the responsibility for the nation’s obesity epidemic at the feet of Pedo Paranoia. This ridiculous—and fanciful—culture of fear has bred two generations of overweight children who are now becoming overweight adults. Children aren’t naturally disposed to being fat; they have tons of energy to burn and they love to run around and play. (Oh, sure, there’s that “puppy fat” thing where they’ll get a little chubby right before a big growth spurt, but that’s normal.) But nobody lets their kids play anymore.

        And then they wonder why Little Brittny looks like a Butterball turkey and Little Aidynn can’t sit still without Ritalin.


      • GMO foods may in fact play a big role in causing obesity.


      • [i]we still don’t know what causes obesity (anyone who claims otherwise is lying) . . .[/i]

        Study after study after study have shown that more calories in than out makes people are fat and that fat people eat more calories than they burn. While there are certain (rare) exceptions and some people are slightly better than others at burning rather than storing, we do indeed know why people are fat. We also know that people eat more calories than they used to and burn less. Therefore it is unsurprising (to say the least) that people are “fatter”.

        [i]. . . nor do we know how to treat it (and anyone who claims otherwise is full of it).[/i]

        If people would eat less and burn more, they would be thinner. Again, there are certain, rare exceptions. For instance, there are certain combinations of foods that are (slightly) better than others for a variety of things.


      • @McGonzo:

        “Study after study after study have shown that more calories in than out makes people are fat and that fat people eat more calories than they burn. “

        Find me one that proves this.

        That’s going to be a lot harder than you likely think.

        Even if there is some evidence that overweight people eat more, that’s not the same thing as saying that this caused the obesity. It could just as easily be a symptom (larger body mass requires more calories, for example).

        “If people would eat less and burn more, they would be thinner.”

        Sure, if they burned more calories than they ate, yes. The kicker is how to cause this.


    • on July 31, 2013 at 2:45 pm FuriousFerret

      “know what causes obesity (anyone who claims otherwise is lying), nor do we know how to treat it (and anyone who claims otherwise is full of it). ”

      Wrong. Processed carb heavy foods cause weight gain.

      How to treat it, stop eating processed carb heavy foods. Bam weight loss.

      Myself: Started working at 165 lean. Ballooned to 210. Now 175.

      Diet: Eggs, Chicken, Beef, Veggies.

      You want excuses why you’re fat so you deny how to fix it. You are addicted to your carbs you junkie. Give up your drugs and you fix yourself.

      Willpower has nothing to do it once you start up on the drugs again. The willpower is to eat the clean foods and toss away the dirty ones. Just as an alcoholic can’t go back to drinking a few beers you need to give up the Cheetos for good.


      • This is true, when eating clean my weight remains always the same, it doesn’t change, maybe a fluctuation of about 2 pounds but nothing drastic, and I don’t eat low carb, I eat a lot of fruits.

        If I start to eat grains I gain 4 pounds easily in 2 weeks, without eating excessive amounts.


      • Btw 210 is not so much? It sounds healthy for a man, what is your height?


      • on July 31, 2013 at 3:38 pm FuriousFerret

        Little under 6 foot without shoes on.

        210 was a lot. I had at least 30 percent body fat. That’s the important part. I’m supposed to be a lean and mean type of guy. Ideally 165 with 11 – 13 percent body fat.

        When I had the weight I was in denial like most of America because with clothes on it wasn’t that bad. Every fat ass in the US believes he/she are not fat because being fat has become the new norm. Skinny fat is the new normal and obese is the new fat.

        I maintained for a long time when I started my office job being thin through calorie control and it sucked. We have an eating out culture and eating low amounts of crap food makes you extremely hungry and the thirst wins eventually.

        I discovered paleo on my own really by trying to limit calories again and found that a half chicken at Boston Market with veggies was only 750 calories and filled me up for most of the day. This lead to online research of the paleo diet.

        ‘If I start to eat grains I gain 4 pounds easily in 2 weeks, without eating excessive amounts.’

        Yeah it’s not really the carbs to do it. It’s the processed grain carbs. They are loaded with chemicals and spike your insulin levels that lead to hunger that lead to craving of junk food.

        The Mediterranean diet is awesome as well. You are set with that diet. It’s not a fatting pig diet that is the Standard American Diet (SAD). Basically if it’s not the SAD diet, it’s probably a billion times better and you won’t blow up into a land whale.


      • Well, how you feel healthy is the most important thing. It doesn’t sound so heavy but you know your body. I think Paleo is an excellent guideline for a good diet.

        The Med diet I believe is not great for optimal health. Sure we eat a lot of fish and olives and fruits, but we also eat so much wheat, it’s especially difficult not to go carb-crazy during Lent when we abstain from all animal products. I maintain my weight much easier with a diet that limits grains. I also feel much healthier and more energetic. I try to follow a Weston A Price diet the most of the time, which means I don’t completely exclude grains and legumes but I believe in soaking them to limit anti-nutrients, for optimal nutrition. I also try to eat a lot of nutrient dense foods like Liver and Egg yolks which are great for female fertility. I’d say around 60% of my daily calories come from fat.
        I am 5’6 and 120 pounds. I have been 110 but it was really quite horrible on me. Like I said, when I eat many grains I Can get to 125 effortlessly but it makes me feel bloated and lethargic.


      • I love the Mediterranean diet. My mom got us started on it years ago, before anyone called it the Mediterranean diet. She and my dad lived in Europe a few years before they had kids, and that’s where she picked it up. It’s funny, the media makes it sound like something new, just invented.

        I also like Turkish (or Greek as it’s called elsewhere) coffee. I find that coffee suppresses appetite, as well as provides many other benefits. Sometimes I do coffee and a handful of nuts for lunch. That fills me up pretty well, especially if I plan on an early dinner.

        If you like something sweet, do one truffle (I keep high-end dark chocolate around). Sometimes, it’s just about getting the urge out of your system. Allowing yourself a taste, is better than denying yourself completely. Buy chocolate that is at least 70% coca. I think keeping lean and trim is a lot about moderation and portion control, not just eating the right kinds of foods.

        Also, eating small snacks throughout the day (basically eating like a bird) is better than having larger meals. Your body gets just enough energy to keep it going for a few hours without storing any excess. This works best for girls. Hence, I do the coffee and nuts once in a while. But, I find on days that I work out I need a little bit more nourishment, so Mediterranean-style foods do quite well. You can even find pasta made of whole grains. I don’t have a problem with whole grains. I know some people don’t tolerate them, but I don’t have a problem with them. I don’t like Legumes though, because they are gassy. So, unless you want to be passing gas all day long, stay away. I find humus salad is not gassy though. It’s great with olive oil and baked eggplants. I love starchy vegies too, like baked potatoes, sweet potatoes, squash, cauliflower, and pumpkin. They are shunned by most low-carb diets, but they can really enhance appetite control. I love French fries, so I eat grilled potatoes instead.

        That said, I find portion control to be the most effective diet. Overeating during meals could be the worst thing to your waistline.


      • @FuriousFerret:

        “Processed carb heavy foods cause weight gain.”

        Don’t be so sure on that:

        Whole Health Source: The Carbohydrate Hypothesis of Obesity: a Critical Examination

        “How to treat it, stop eating processed carb heavy foods. Bam weight loss.”

        Read the above link. Low carb diets can be (but usually aren’t) effective at treating obesity, but carbs aren’t necessarily the cause.

        “Willpower has nothing to do it once you start up on the drugs again. The willpower is to eat the clean foods and toss away the dirty ones.”

        See this. Appealing to “willpower” as a societal solution (as opposed to an individual one) is an inherently foolhardy endeavor.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 3:47 pm FuriousFerret

        Look, back in the old days, we ate clean foods and guess what we weren’t fat.

        I hate that in today’s social environment I have to prove that water is wet.

        Of course you can game the system with low carb which people do. It’s still technically calories in/calories out. But that’s like saying the way to be rich is take in more money than give out money. It’s worthless in a practical sense.

        Fat has been demonized since the 70s which coincides with the obesity epidemic. You eat fatty meats and veggies and most people come out to a level of relatively low calories. I can eat a bag of dorittos in one sitting. I can’t eat pounds of steak in one go around.

        If you follow traditional paleo which has plenty of carbs you won’t overeat. These foods are good clean foods and it’s almost impossible to overeat them.

        Also, don’t listen to people that have a vested interest in holding on to old beliefs and disproving new ones especially when their way isn’t working. It’s like a medieval doctor saying that antibiotics are witch craft and that blood letting is the way to go.

        Just as with Game, do what works. Who gives a fuck about anything else. If advice makes sense do it and if it rings true then it applies.


      • @FuriousFerret:

        “Look, back in the old days, we ate clean foods and guess what we weren’t fat.”

        Define “clean” foods.

        “If you follow traditional paleo which has plenty of carbs you won’t overeat.”

        That may be the trick with the paleo diet – or for that matter, any diet. But that’s just a hypothesis at this point, we don’t know for sure.

        Look, the vast majority of you guys have no idea what you’re talking about. And that’s understandable, there’s far more misinformation than reliable information in circulation on this topic.


      • You’re basing all this on the assumption that everyone is physically and psychologically and circumstantially the same.

        I got news…

        I too lost a significant amount of weight from eating natural, but I’m not about to shame people basically for being depressed or misinformed or ill. If I was to do that about fat, then I know myself…I’d do it about a whole lot of othe visible consequences of depression, misinformation, illness, or just plain stupidity too. Most of my interactions with people would be shaming them for my being lucky or born with certain blessings and their not.

        A bitch is not the kind of person I want to be.

        Men may benefit from it somewhat, but like I said before, if they’re rejects then being constantly raging rejects isn’t going to help them any more than pick any fuckface now. Walking around looking like a contempt filled cunt is a good way for a guy to get beat up a lot. I don’t recommend it.


      • Nicole,
        If you put half the effort into losing weight, that you put into making excuses for being overweight, you’d probably be in good shape.


      • I am in good shape, Lara…just the kind of shape for survival, not posing for a camera.

        Where do you see any *excuses* for being fat? I simply am fat, and I don’t make excuses for it even though I have some reasons that would count. I don’t give them anymore because per your example, nobody is interested in hearing them.

        So when it’s called for, I let my fists do the talking. If it’s not that level of fight then fuck it.

        What I’m against is being a bitch to people who are less fortunate than myself, just because I have the power to get away with it. It’s just not me. I’ve also seen what this kind of behavior does to others and funny how talking shit doesn’t put more money into anybody’s bank account, take money out of anyone else’s, or turn an ugly woman more beautiful or make a reject dude more well regarded.

        Being a bitch or a dick is the luxury of people who have the money, status, and/or history to have place to do so. Otherwise it closes more doors than it opens. It is not a way that I would recommend for people who may need the cooperation of others to survive.

        I need others less than the average person, so I could be much more of a bitch. Just for some reason, it doesn’t boost my ego to thump on the weak.

        Maybe that makes me a sucker…

        Sometimes I look around this site and truly wonder about that. I can say that it has made me much more…”dugri” in mate selection. I have no mercy now that I know what little weak men are really thinking when they look at me in street clothes.


      • Number one rule is just calories in < calories out to lose weight. Granted, if you want to lose weight in the correct way — without losing muscle mass — then you need to up the protein and just aim for complex carbs.

        Using the food pyramid is fine (save the protein requirement). Lol, for all the useful shit the government does, so few people use it.


    • But the fundamental issue is that we still don’t know what causes obesity (anyone who claims otherwise is lying), nor do we know how to treat it (and anyone who claims otherwise is full of it). Your solution is predicated on the belief that we do for both.

      Fat does not arrive on the wings of magical Lard Faeries who sprinkle it upon us as we slumber, and you damned well know it.

      Cause: eating more, moving less.

      Treatment: eating less, moving more.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 3:24 pm FuriousFerret

        “Cause: eating more, moving less.

        Treatment: eating less, moving more.

        I kind of disagree with this. I think it’s more important to emphasize eating the right foods.

        Many people have tried and failed with the eating less and moving more plan and then they get discouraged and join the fat acceptance movement.

        It really needs to get out there that the holy grail for weight loss is paleo foods such as veggies and fatty cuts of meat combined with weight lifting so you address the biochemical mechanisms of your weight problem.

        The standard now is low fat salads with jogging and it’s not working because it’s just flat out bad advice.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 3:53 pm Hugh G. Rection

        Yeah and don’t get me started on food calories.

        The problem with most popular diets is that they are focused on weight loss, not fat loss. You shed a lot of water at first, then the body starts going for your muscles as a source of glucose and protein.


      • Dudes on Naked and Afraid can lose about 25 pounds in 21 days, when their diet for that time period is about 3 high protein meals during that time period.

        I don’t what that proves but it is an interesting process to watch. The chicks, well, they whither away because they have no muscle to begin with.

        It’s such an interesting area of conversation. People now respond to the eat less, move more line of reason by pointing out in what world is a person going to be running a marathon every day to keep off the pounds? The numbers don’t add up, especially when you consider it’s lunacy to think that the body was made to get you through times of famine but will drop off fat just from hitting the treadmill.

        Or as Taubes pointed out, eating less will make a body tend to move less and the amount of calories we’re talking about burning off is the equivalent of circumnavigating the globe.


      • on August 1, 2013 at 11:22 am Hugh G. Rection

        Excess cardio may actually halt or stall your progress.


      • Bullshit. It’s precisely that. Calories out vs calories in.

        Technically it’s not all there is to it, but people get so lost in the details, they lose the big overarching target.


      • on August 1, 2013 at 11:20 am Hugh G. Rection

        No, it’s really not. Your body is not a combustion engine or bomb calorimeter.


      • Lol, seriously. Getting in shape, gaining muscle, losing weight, etc. is all WAY simpler than the industries built around those activities would have you believe.

        Best advice I ever got about weight training:
        “Don’t overthink it. Just challenge yourself in everything you do, every day you come here. If you just try to move the heaviest weight you can move the furthest you can move it every day — you’re gonna get buff. The rest is bullshit.”


      • Injury time, maxing out all the time. “The heaviest weight you can move the furthest you can every day” is begging to get injured.”


      • Meant to say every day you go to the gym. But ya, everyone should stay away from overtraining. That being said — I really think people blow that out of proportion. For the first four or five months of working out I stuck hard to a “one week per muscle group,” rule. I started just going by “do my muscles feel sore? If yes, then relax. If no, did I work them out yesterday? If yes, then relax. If no, work them out.”

        And a little after that, the gains started just coming in like crazy.


    • The crux of the study was that it said fatties who reported that they experienced discrimination were less likely to lose weight than those who didn’t.

      What that probably indicates is that those who were self righteous enough about their fatness want to paint themselves as unfairly discriminated. Because they are self righteous about their fatness, they do not see it as a problem and they do not lose weight.

      Those who lost weight recognize that there was something wrong with them and that they needed to do something about it so they did not interpret negative feedback as discrimination.


      • Basically, those who take constructive criticism as an insult are less likely to lose weight.


      • I just read my post. hmmm. Bad spelling can be forgiven, but forgetting whether you are writing in past or present tense before even completing a sentence is questionable.

        More signs that my mental architecture is getting feeble.


      • Eh….it is hard to get the willpower. Imagine being 100 pounds overweight. I mean, jesus christ. You’re looking at years of steady work. And it’s going to be awhile before you reap any measurable benefit from your efforts (probably months). Longer still before you can actually start to feel good about yourself. Way easier to get some quick emotional feel-goods by eating a Big Mac.

        Tyler has a video about it somewhere where he’s like “if you have 50 pounds to lose? You’re FUCKED! Seriously, you’re FUCKED.” He’s analogizing the hard case newbie to the guy who has 50 pounds of weight to lose. Similar situation.


    • YOu may be right that there’s little/no prospective, controlled research, but one could have said the same thing during the early days of more widespread cigarette cancer.

      I think it IS well within current science to find strong associations between a lot of significant variables that are almost certainly part of the problem: amount of corn products eaten, portion sizes in restaurants, amount of soda drunk, etc.

      The problem with approaching this is all the most powerful corporations ( Coca Cola, McDonalds) make _more_ money as people eat themselves into diabetes, and that point the problem is out of their hands for them most part– they’ve made their profits and don’t pay for health insurance for feeble fat employees that cost a lot to treat.

      Then the drug companies make _more_money because their employees are educated biologists and such, and aren’t diabetic whales, so THEY don’t have any motivation to reduce the insanity.

      Fat people are like a fished-out sea, a prime example of a tragedy of the commons, a resource that could have been taken care of ( they’re not smart enough to discount advertising and the carb rush) and utilized, but is instead abused and abandoned.


  24. I once saw a 400-lb woman fall down on the sidewalk right in front of me. She told me she was unable to stand up so it took four men to get her to her feet.


    • All it would have taken was one man… with a Schwan’s ice cream truck.


      • I owned a taxi for a while and once picked up three Huge people. My car accelerated slowly, was tilted to one side, and when I turned a corner…my God! I’m glad I only took them two blocks, since of course they could not have walked that far.


      • Fatties have to get male attention somehow.


  25. So many fatties would be 7s or 9s if they worked for it, too.


  26. The most important thing parents can do for their daughters is NOT allow them to get FAT. Nothing else matters in comparison to this for a female’s life trajectory.


  27. You can get them to push away from the table (and into the surgeon for Obamacare $olutions) but none of this will push them towards betas.

    When women are prettier but without moral guidance, it just makes a bigger harem for alphas.

    So enjoy whatever ego boost you get for picking on people, but if you’re any brand of reject too, it will just thin your prospects.


    • Obese people are aesthetically unpleasing. So for that alone, “thinning your prospects” is a winner. And more thin women means more female competition for men, which means more thin women lacking stunning beauty will have to settle for betas.

      And besides, thinner people mean less health problems later which means lower public costs. Obama will have Michelle scarfing people’s food so they stay thin. I think there’s a Fat Tax in ObamaCare. Its for the Children.


      • They still won’t shag you though.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 4:34 pm Imperial Leather

        The best shame and inspiration for fatties is to shag hot thin young chicks


      • Not really. Why in the hell would an older, hopefully married woman be trying to compete for men she isn’t married to with hot young chicks? Even with one’s husband, if he was going to leave his wife for a younger woman, and can’t manage to have a stable affair, then why did he get married anyway?

        Those of us who are realists raised by realistic people don’t have these issues. We do our marriage and kids thing on time and to hell with the victims of stupidity.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 10:28 pm Imperial Leather

        Yes Really

        now STFU


      • on July 31, 2013 at 4:49 pm Imperial Leather

        Says who, You? hahhahaha gay


      • I don’t like unmanly men. I don’t know many women who do of any size. A fat chick might settle though.

        I just don’t see dudes running around acting like bitchy female models or pageant contestants trying to psyche out their competitors with constant ranting about weight as raising male attractiveness. It might shame the women into being more attractive, but unless the guys are packing lots of alphatude, they’re going to do it wrong and just seem bitchy.

        This is why I say rejects should sit this one out.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 10:30 pm Imperial Leather



      • No, female.

        I understand it has probably been a long time since you’ve seen one at eye level.


      • on August 1, 2013 at 4:42 pm Imperial Leather




  28. so this happened.

    Hey, my wife wants to hang out with some guy whose on tv, maybe I should tag along, what?


  29. Fat people, so many. Sure sure, they’re to blame, but also blame HFCS in everything. At least sugar-sugar has a lower glycemic index and satiates hunger. HCFS makes you hungrier. Also, diet foods. Most diet foods are lies and I feel bad for the pleasantly plump I see wolfing down on their high-GI HCFS low-fat carb bombs.

    One of the strangest pieces of diet news I’ve read is that adding fat to food, and I’m talking pepperoni on pizza or butter on french bread, drops the GI of the food. Whereas the diet police are doing the exact opposite.

    so, now we have a time and age when people in the past who were considered chunky, fat, or obese are kinda normal today compared to our present generation of chubbs.


    • or HFCS, whatever.


    • So I’m driving home from an appointment this afternoon and pull up at a stoplight. Sitting in the next car is an incredibly fat woman smoking a cigarette and drinking a Super Big Gulp. The irony? She was driving a Honda Fit.


    • I agree to an extent.. but really how much HFCS does one need to eat to get to 300 pounds? Surely we can’t say they are eating 2000 calories but it’s just unhealthy food.. no, regardless of food type.. to get to a certain weight one has to be eating in extreme excess.


      • In the USA, they put it in just about everything, with the exception of fresh meat and produce. Everything. If it’s processed food, it is almost guaranteed to have HFCS.

        So yes, it would be pretty easy to eat that much, especially over the course of a few years.


      • There are a few foods without it, but it’s damn difficult to find. My current main has allergies to corn and gluten products; so I induced her to eat better by eating better myself. Very hard to find anything processed that’s not got either wheat or corn.


      • allergies to corn? in the not so distant past, this was simply unheard of, just like the ‘obesity epidemic’. what changed?


      • Since I discovered that a certain sweetener is worse than glucose, I’ve learned that HFCS or the big S is in everything. Including work out supplements and diet foods.

        Look for real sugar. Just get over the need for sweets in every meal.


      • Real sugar tastes better than HFCS too. It’s why people buy Mexican Coke, and why European pastries taste better than American ones (except for homemade baked goods and Twinkies, which use sugar).


      • It is one way to get us to pay $1 for a bottle of Coke.


      • it’s insidious. HFCS and what I just read about certain artificial sweeteners (that have a higher GI than fucking glucose) probably work in several ways:

        suspending muscle building and other body repairs in lieu of storing fat.
        making you hungrier – ergo the overeating
        making you too tired to work out if you don’t eat because all the calories are going in to fat building.
        totally fucking up what kind of foods you should eat (high carb, low fat, low protein diet foods over you know, regular foods).

        I’m sure when we start talking about the mega-obese, I’ve read they eat 6000 cals a day at least, so that’s mental.


    • It’s counterintuitive, but yeah, fat doesn’t make you fat. Crap like subsidized HFCS does.


      • There’s that blogger who did a week long 5,000 calorie very high fat daily diet and his weight was ok. And he was fucking skinny to begin with. So … I wonder if his body was perfectly happy anyway, what would happen to a guy with actual meat on his bones if he did that?


    • HFCS-loaded foods taste like processed chemical shit. If people can’t avoid them their senses are off.


      • Given the fact that most Americans have been eating HFCS for the past 20 or 30 years, it’s safe to assume that most Americans have senses that ARE off.

        Truth be told, most are probably used to stuff like MSG, artificial sweeteners, and whatever new chemical they put in “food” these days. You should read about the work of a company called International Flavors & Fragrances.


  30. “-Knock over chairs and rattle tables as they were shimmying into seats at restaurants.”
    Shimmying. LOL!

    Today at the bank, I noticed a new teller (how could I miss her). She was Muslim and covered up from head to toe, and I’m not exaggerating how covered up she was; it was scary. The only thing you could see of her was her face. And, she was so fat too, she must weigh at least 250 lbs, no kidding.

    I eye her as I wait, and I wonder, why she is bothering to cover up; like who cares. What mam will want what she has? She can walk around nude and not draw a look from a man. Then it occurred to me. It’s always the fat ugly ones that are so fervently zealous over covering up in the name of Islam, while their young skinny counterparts try every trick in the book to keep this from being their fate. Have you seen a hot Muslim girl that fanatic? Not really. It’s usually the ugly ones that hide under Islam’s skirt and refuse to westernize.

    On the plane to Europe, we were sitting next to this young Muslim girl and her mom and sisters. She was exotically beautiful – hot figure, gorgeous skin and hair. Her sisters were pretty too. Only their mom was wearing headscarf. So, we started talking about different things and shared personal pics on our iPads. At some point, I asked her about modest dress in Islam. She told me she’s not looking forward to covering up her hair and figure, and hopes to meet a modern man who will not expect her to wear a headscarf and covered up garb. I quietly thought to myself how I don’t blame her. A woman this beautiful shouldn’t have to cover it all up. So, today at the bank I noticed a trend – it’s always the fat ugly women in the ethnic communities that cover up. Their thin pretty women try hard to avoid this.


    • Did she also have that sickeningly sweet weird perfume?


      • LOL, no really. This one didn’t smell weird at all.


      • Tired of dumb female “truths”. She has two encounters with a fat and a hot muslim woman, her imbecile mind jumps to the generalization that “it’s always those that so and so”. No that is an oversimplification declared to be true by the dumb female mind to pat herself on the back that she is apparently able to put two and two together. Regardless how far-fetched the content is.


      • JB, I don’t know why I even bother responding to you, but here goes. I know and understand Muslims a little too well. I usually can’t stand them since I believe they don’t bode well for the West. They are in western countries only to wage jihad on us – either through war, or through marrying western women. They are not in the west (and in America in particular) to escape the tyranny of their despots. They are here to convert us to Islam by any means necessary.

        I’ve noticed that the fat ugly Muslim women are so zealous, they can’t think straight. They believe that by covering up they hide form male eyes, as if male eyes will be looking at them, lol.

        The slim pretty ones (which aren’t that plentiful, cuz Muslim women are usually ugly) like their bodies and their hair too much to cover it all up for an ugly mustached fat older man who will treat them like a slave. They want to be eyed by other men, and get satisfaction from their beauty, like most pretty women do. A woman’s beauty is such a powerful force inside her, she will be willing to risk losing her life in order to display it, as in Islam your family can come after you if they don’t like your behavior.

        So, dumb female “truths” or not, it’s still true what I said about Muslim women’s behavior. Next time, try not to lash out at everything a girl says just because you’re a man. It sounds insecure.


    • God, you are dumb. Just shut the fuck up.


  31. Ewald Stadler (Austrian MP) with English subs

    Er ist wieder da.


  32. Being fat is good because it prevents the patriarchy from enacting their secret global thin person rape conspiracy, OBVIOUSLY. Here’s a brilliant expose from my area newspaper:


    • on July 31, 2013 at 4:01 pm Judith Twatler

      Mike Robinson: Beta of the Day or world-class BBW fetishist PUA?
      Mike: “I call it Fat Acceptance Game”.


  33. at the same time, what is the point of this? Are we to mock the sadly obese? Or to knock dumb fat bitches off of whatever perch upon which they sit.

    I think popular culture has made it clear enough of what is attractive and low-function PC thugs are quick to bemoan it all but America is jerking off to Olivia Wilde, not to Melissa McCarthy.


  34. on July 31, 2013 at 3:49 pm depressed_danny

    We all know this ‘fat’ acceptance is ‘female fat’ acceptance. Another branch of feminism’s social engineering to shame real men from loving what real men love; hot, young, FIT women.

    Do the proponents of this ‘movement’ not realize how s****y they’re being to the people they’re claiming to help? I have fat friends and family members. They live miserable lives. They never experience the joys of having a pretty person come up and start a chat with them of their own volition. They never get to experience life’s novelties like fair rides, bungee jumping, sky diving. They’re sneered and snickered at where ever they go – my fat friends always take on a thousand yard stare when going places, refusing to look left or right or behind because they know people are looking at them (rightfully) in disgust. I can’t imagine how depressing it must be to never have the option to walk into a trendy clothing store and buy a shirt or some jeans that fit you right off the shelf.

    There’s no such thing as a naturally fat person. We all know this. Feed someone who’s 260+ 1200 cals a day and make them run a mile at 6 am and 6 pm and you’ll see how naturally fat they remain.

    Look at these people;

    It’s like watching an alien having transformed into a human being.

    If it seems like a doth protest to much, it’s because my parents have bloated massively since 45, and I notice my (recently married) sister beginning to pack ’em on. There but for the grace of God go me – go all of us. People know a lack of exercise and not eating healthy/counting calories will make them fat. There’s not much shaming we can do beyond living awesome lives and showing how magnificent it is to be fit, comfortable in the knowledge that our ‘thin privilege’ makes the world a little more beautiful.


    • on July 31, 2013 at 6:07 pm FuriousFerret

      After looking at those pictures, the obesity epidemic is probably the single biggest cause of woman entitlement that is fucking up the market place for guys.

      All those girls were absolutely unfuckable and hideous and then they simply lost weight and each and every one was totally bangable after that.

      Most women’s faces are good looking when young. Maybe not super model beautiful but it gets the job done.

      All you have to do is stay thin if you’re a young girl. That’s it. I try to stay lean because I feel disgusting and worthless as a fattie but I don’t delude myself that a physique is all that important in terms of ability to get sex after a very reasonable threshold has been met.

      If I was a girl. My number one priority in life would be to stay thin. That’s your meal ticket. It affects everything that you do. It is the feminine source of power. I do believe however, that they try and fail and it’s because of the flat out wrong low fat grain heavy diet advice and they burn out on it. There is no way that women just don’t instinctively understand this. It’s just a state of fat learned helplessness and it takes getting the right knowledge and the willpower to follow through that achieves an escape from fat jail.

      I believe a lot of those photos are from the sub-reddit of keto. Do these people really look like the epitome of athleticism and willpower? Nah, it’s just that they motivated to lose weight and found the keto/low carb/paleo.

      Our food environment for good bodies is a mirror of the feminist environment for sex. Only the truly strong survive and even then it’s usually a matter of time. Most people that are thin are thin despite eating toxic food displaying superior genetics just as most pussy slayers have too much T to bow down to feminist rules in the SMP.


  35. I support fattie shaming 100%.

    Stop eating so fucking much!!!

    Shame them until they either shape up or go sulk in some dank cave where no one can hear the gyrations of their flub contort and uncared for tears stream down mountains of flab.

    Utterly and viciously mock them until they go die/ kill themselves or finally decide to make a positive change in their lives.

    While it would be nice to think that everyone would choose to make a positive change(lose weight) while being shamed and ridiculed. I am certain the truth is that many would rather choose to go sulk in a cave or basement somewhere rather than deal with reality. Its like you said CH….cull the herd.

    As Ivan Drago says

    “If he dies, he dies”



    • I hope you have the same fervor against men who refuse to grow up, and sit around waiting for the pussy fairy to bestow upon them some fine ass with no effort.

      This is my pain problem with fat shaming. There’s a whole lot of nerd shaming to go around too.

      …and to think, when I was a sturdy but not fat teenager, I used to defend you guys. I’ve even backed a few as an adult.

      I should have let you all get your asses kicked.

      In fact, strong people should stop defending weak men at all. Then maybe you guys will butch up.

      (Not really. I will always have my friends’ back. I’m just saying…)


      • I actually agree with you. I dont hang around any guys that refuse to do shit with themselves and think pussy, money, respect or any other fucking thing is owed to them.

        But as for the “growing up” part, well thats debatable. I dont want to grow up at all….well at least in the sense that modern cathedral shamers would try to make me do.

        Im 32 yrs old and i smoke weed, drink and play video games ALL THE TIME. I have a live in gf that is 22 and cooks, cleans and gives me some of her ADHD meds(great for energy) whenever I ask. She also gives any kind of sexual favors on demand. In other words…she’s a decent girl to have and thats why Ive let her stick around.

        Sure I flirt with other girls. Grab tits n ass, make outs etc….but I always come home to her. Why? Because she has proven to be worth more than a pump n dump.

        Now Im sure this description might sound to you like a guy that hasnt “grown up” and to that I say….AfuckinMEN babe.


      • I didn’t mean “grow up” in the new age sense. I meant accept reality and behave accordingly. You seem to be doing that.


  36. on July 31, 2013 at 4:08 pm Bay Area Guy

    Ah, fat acceptance. Or, as I’m sure others in the sphere would agree, fat woman acceptance.

    Feminist fat acceptance is all about teaching women that they’re special little snowflakes just the way they are, and that us men are boorish and shallow for not agreeing with this notion that all women are inherently wonderful.

    Meanwhile, women are still allowed to retain their high standards and shame Nice Guys, and we men must improve in order to please them.

    Solipsism to the highest degree.


  37. on July 31, 2013 at 4:18 pm FuriousFerret

    Yo CH, did you cause this?

    Hugo Schwyzer melts down:


    • on July 31, 2013 at 11:54 pm Libertardian

      Good. Unfortunately I doubt it’s permanent:

      “As is often the case when someone pointedly leaves a room, Schwyzer seemed to be standing by, waiting for people to wonder where he’d gone.”


  38. Hey Heartste, you are a science guy, and love research, so lets think about this problem in a different way.

    Do you really believe, that, over the course of less than 20 years, (I think the obesity thing started early 90’s? But only really got worse in the last 10 years?) millions of otherwise normal and healthy people just “decided” to get fat, and decided not to care, despite Fat Shaming being the only acceptable shaming left in society?

    Over the last 20 years the GMOP percentage of the grown food has increased, including the now infamous “Round-up Corn” which is a strain of geneticly modified corn that sweats it’s own pesticide.

    If all of a sudden millions of people over a period of 20 years caught any kind of other disease, there would be a full-scale scientific crisis with hundreds of doctors looking for the problem. What we get from the (captured) scientific establishment? The sound of silence.

    What I am saying is that as a “scientific minded” person, I have to at least entertain the strong possibility that something else, a MAJOR something else, may in fact be the primary cause of this problem.

    My personal belief is that the food supply is poisoned so badly by GMO and other chemical crap in the food, that for a certain large percentage of the population, who are susceptible to this problem, the GMO / chemicals are damaging their endocrine system and making it VERY difficult to maintain a normal weight.

    Even people that “wake-up” and try really hard to get back to normal weight, can’t keep it off. Many studies show this result. It would make sense that they can’t keep it off if their endocrine system is damaged.

    Would love to hear your thoughts on this!


    • on July 31, 2013 at 6:30 pm Alec Leamas

      Your conspiracy theories aside, I think the rise of the latchkey kid and suburbanizing the middle class is the single largest contributing factor – working moms shoved calorie-dense prepared snacks and foods into the maws of their kids to placate them, and at the same time kept them locked inside a house in order to avoid the hard work of parenting them. Even with the corn syrup and GMO/chemicals, I’d bet that kids who live a life not unlike kids 30+ years ago are in much better shape than your average suburban kids.

      I went to an urban Catholic School as a kid, walked to and from school in the morning, for lunch, and afternoon, played sports for hours after school, and there were very, very few truly fat kids – maybe one in fifty. And we lived in such a way that any one of us could go to a corner store and get whatever candy, snacks, soft pretzels, full calorie soda, pizza, hoagies, etc. we wanted whenever we wanted if we had a few dollars to spare. The main difference I think was the tremendous amount of physical activity we engaged in without thinking about it at all.


      • on August 1, 2013 at 6:04 am AnonymousBosch

        Genetics, my arse. I notice fat people ahead of me in the checkout line at the supermarket all the time. Their trolleys are *always* loaded with crap: chocolate, soda, potato chips, sugary cereals, sweets, cream, cheese, donuts and cake. The parents are fat, the children are doughy. I’ve yet to see a fat family with nothing but healthy food. It just doesn’t happen. People are fat because they eat fattening, unhealthy, sugared up crap to excess.

        Once actually asked me what I was going to *do* with all the fruit and vegetables I was loading onto the conveyer belt, like she couldn’t comprehend that someone could actually eat the stuff.


    • Watch the vid I posted above; it reinforces everything you just said.


  39. Some years back existed a spherical female whom was mocked, mostly in private, by a variety of people for obvious reasons … her sobriquet was Big G. I, along with a few buddies, witnessed this creature lie on a four post bed and then collapse it.

    Interestingly, the next time I saw her she was almost normal weight.

    I guess that was the four bedposts that broke the camel’s back.


  40. At the bar having a conversation with a couple gals, including a friend’s fat girlfriend. She tells us, “When I’m thin I look like [famous actress].”

    Silence ensues, and with looking at her with an amused smirk, I’m thinking, “oh, so some days you just wake up and get out of bed and you’re thin, eh? Today not one of those days?”

    She must have read my mind because after a few seconds of silence she corrected herself: “When I USED TO BE thin, I looked like [famous actress].”

    Ah, that’s better. Smirking silence shaming.

    On a positive note, she has started going to the gym in the morning and is committed to getting in better shape.


  41. Will have to give a mulligan on this one. Can’t believe that was published.


    • DOes the same mockery work on guys who get women pregnant then leave to never be heard from again?


      • on July 31, 2013 at 6:33 pm Alec Leamas

        Well, it used to – before having a passel of bastards by a coterie of women became an urban status symbol. There was a time when a derelict who abandoned woman and child would be shunned and ostracized, and not welcome in much of society, which was a big motivator to watch one’s dipstick.


      • on July 31, 2013 at 7:57 pm Dan Fletcher

        Well, I’m sure shotgun weddings were a good deterrent back in the day.


      • If an industry arises to normalize child abandonment, we’ll fight it.


  42. on July 31, 2013 at 5:47 pm Dan Fletcher

    To be honest, my brain doesn’t even register fat people anymore. They are just part of the scenery, like a hill or a lake.


  43. on July 31, 2013 at 6:19 pm Alec Leamas

    One of the truly heartbreaking things about the lack of fat-shaming and the fat acceptance BS is that the society at large has entered a co-dependent relationship with fat people such that they’ll never get the momentum together to change. What must it be like to be imprisoned in a cell of your own body’s making, unable to enjoy so much of life (other than food, and one must assume that fat people have an uneasy relationship with the thing that causes them so much anguish and, eventually, a premature death)? What would it be like to feel unmitigated shame for the very act of appearing in public in the light of day, much less to appear doing things that expose your uncomfortable size? If you looked forward to winter not for snow sports and holidays but because that is the time when your enormous bulk is easiest to camouflage with clothing? Perhaps I’m not the only one who thinks that the fat acceptance movement is like a heroin-users pride movement?


  44. How about on airplanes?? I have a couple of stories.

    1. I had this fat broad sit next to me and take over about a third of my seat. Her smelly sweaty thighs, belly, arms pressed against me. The arm rest is up and I try to lower it to delineate my seat. She slapped it back and screamed “I’m too big for that!” Fucking bullshit, I paid for a full seat and get to use 2/3rds of it and have a smelly beast pressed up against me for 2 hours? She gets to use a seat and 1/3rd of mine for the price of one??

    2. I’m on a flight and some fat dude sits next to me and spreads out his legs. Another flight where I pay for a full seat, and a fatty takes over a good one third or so of it. I start getting agitated waiting for the flight to take off thinking I need to sit here scrounged up and uncomfortable with some fat dudes smelly flesh touching me for two hours. I write a note on a napkin and slip it to the flight attendant. It says “this guy is too big and taking up part of my seat, something needs to be done.” She took the note incognito, and came back and moved me to another seat. This is a good way of handling it.

    3. I was on a Frontier flight on one of those smaller regional jets. Saw a guy in the waiting area for my flight whot must have weighed 500 lbs. I was agitated the whole time thinking they are going to put that fat hog next to me. I’m sure all the other passengers were thinking the same thing. It was a full flight, not an empty seat. Thankfully they didn’t put him next to me. They put him next to another guy, and the normal sized guy had 1/2 his seat if that. He had to kind of sit sideways. If they put that hog next to me I would have asked that the fat pig be removed from the flight for safety reason. Seriously, smushed up against the window by someone that large has to be a safety issue.

    The larger airlines like United and American have a policy that if you need a seat belt extender, you need to buy two seats. If there is an empty seat, they will refund your second ticket.


  45. When a fat, ugly, disgusting woman is trying to have her husband offed, and then said husband appears before a court begging for the mercy for the fat, ugly, disgusting woman, then that has to be one of the signs. I’m expecting one of the Four Horsemen to come crashing through my roof anytime now.


  46. HEY Heartiste!! Beta of the year candidate:

    THE husband of a woman captured trying to hire a hitman to kill him as made an impassioned plea to the judge for a reduced sentence, saying “she is a godly woman”.

    His betatude is so loathsome, words honestly fail me.


  47. on July 31, 2013 at 7:15 pm Libertardian

    Now you’re not allowed to shame ignorance either:

    ‘NASHVILLE, Tenn. –
    When Metro Nashville Public Schools begin classes Thursday, its teachers will grade students differently.

    The lowest score given will now be a 50. Students will not be given zeroes, 10s or anything below a 50.

    A few wondered if the scoring change might be “grade inflation” or “another way to boost graduation rates.”

    Hunters Lane High School Principal Dr. Susan Kessler told Nashville’s News 2 it’s “merely a different scale.”

    “A lot of times a low grade like a 20 can be very demoralizing to a kid, and hurt their self-esteem, but a 50 still sends a message,” Hunters Lane teacher Brad Meyers said.’


  48. […] Funny Shit Fatties Do […]


  49. I just find it funny that as soon as a fat post comes up, it’s like the myriad posts about how dudes should butch up and stop falling for the feminist hype that made them think it’s okay to be a wuss never happened.


    • on July 31, 2013 at 7:28 pm FuriousFerret


      Let us have our ‘Passion Play’. It’s good for the soul.


    • It does so indirectly. “See all the fat broads around? That’s what you’ll have to settle for if you don’t grow some alpha juice, sonny boy!”


      • Maybe…but I don’t see how this has most of the guys here chiming in to broadcast how much prettier they are than fat chicks is any evidence of advancing past a feminine mentality.

        It’s like when given what they view as an opportunity to circle snap at some women, they jump on it despite being constantly told that they should not consider their looks the most important factor in getting laid.

        Working out doesn’t mean you are too good for the fatties. Having the sack to talk to and seduce the kind of women you really want, does.


      • I don’t think anyone’s saying American men are generally in better shape than American women. I think the lament here is that all women really have to do to be attractive is to be thin and fit, while men are supposed to be fit plus other things. Slight improvements in diet and exercise would make a big difference for a lot of women, but they insist men need to adjust their standards of female beauty to accommodate them.

        And some men will adjust their physical standards for a partner, out of necessity, but that doesn’t mean they’ve changed their ideal.


      • Having lost the weight equivalent of what used to be an average second grader, I can say it takes more than slight changes to come back from truly obese. Still in the process of getting from the fat side of thick to less soft and more scary, I would say it requires a complete life overhaul.

        …and then there are the little details…

        There was a point in my journey that I understood that I am not a 30 year old European male in a prison lab. I’m a mixed but mostly African woman, and the way I have to live to thrive is totally different from that the lab dude has to do to thrive.

        This is the dirty secret of fitness that nobody but what seems like crazy militant Africans and Native Americans wants to tell in public because it would look racist. We do have to do more to truly maintain our fitness because we are simply not adapted to and probably not adaptable to urban life.

        You might be able to do calories in and calories out and get your graphs and be okay. Not all of us can do that. Some of our metabolisms are quite inefficient in some ways and over efficient in others. The only way I found to really feel okay is to eat one regular dinner a day and nearly constantly move. It sucks because many of the things I like to do, as well as some of my work is sedentary, but I was built for high intensity. It’s that or get used to being at least big. If I’d lived like this instead of following the USDA, I’d never have gotten fat to begin with.

        It is the same for every person with just a little recent African ancestry who I’ve ever encountered in person or seen discussing this matter online.

        That’s the changes issue. On the appropriateness of dudes trying to compete with chicks, most of the commentary here has been about, “I look like…so I deserve…” or, “I prefer…so I deserve…” and it sounds way too much like when fat chicks talk about whatever diet they’re on to show they are sufficiently ashamed or something. It’s powder room politics, and I hate to see males engaging in it.


    • on July 31, 2013 at 10:04 pm Dan Fletcher

      Who let you out of the enclosure? Your White Master did not summon you. Scurry back to your chores. Busy yourself on the loom until your fingers ache and your bones crackle. That will at least keep you off the keyboard.


  50. Now, if only drunk-shaming could work as well…


    • It does, but like fat shaming, there has to be the social and economic support for it.

      Fat shaming can’t end well when both parents have to work, and the healthy options for food cost considerably more than the unhealthy ones.

      Drunk and other drug shaming can’t end well when there isn’t what else to do.

      Some governments, for some reason, want the people disempowered one way or another. One has to be very determined and independent, and be willing to endure a lot to keep their power.


      • “healthy options for food cost considerably more than the unhealthy ones.”

        Per nutritional and satiety unit, no, they don’t actually. They do require some preperation, but in my youth poor, single working mothers in the projects seemed to manage that end just fine.
        Protip: The foods marketed as “healthy” are not the healthier options.


      • People have to have the information to use it.


      • I did not find the information hidden on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying “Beware of The Leopard”.


      • I had to be sick the exact week the Food Channel was free, and catch a few episodes of _Cooking_Thin_ and then go to the Weston A. Price site and then join some African and Native American diet mailing lists and then stick with it long enough to see defying everything else I’d previously been taught working.


      • ” . . . go to the Weston A. Price site . . .”


        Going to Lyle McDonald’s site wouldn’t hurt you either; and I’d note that Good Calories Bad Calories is available right where the healthier food is – Wal-Mart.


      • The cheapest option is to eat less. You get fat if you eat more calories than you burn. It doesn’t matter if it’s healthy food or not, as long as you don’t overeat you won’t get fat.


      • There’s a video out there about what 200 calories looks like.

        From my own experience, I can say that it is very difficult to overeat if one is eating properly. It is very easy to overeat if one is eating improperly. A surplus of a mere 200 calories per day adds up over time.

        The reason most people who do, overeat is because they are malnourished. Their body is telling them to eat more because they are not getting the nutrients they need. It’s that simple. It’s to make up for things they aren’t getting. The same thing will happen to an improperly fed dog or cat.

        To tell malnourished people, “Don’t overeat,” is like giving money to a person who’s been broke all their lives a million dollars and saying, “Don’t spend this money on anything you need or want.”


      • Fast food contains all the nutrient the body needs, not perfect and all that healthy, of course, but you can still be a somewhat healthy person on only fast food as long as you don’t overeat. There’s plenty slim people on incredibly unhealthy diets, they simply don’t overeat. Fat people just don’t understand that you’re not supposed to feel full all the time. They snack every time they feel a tiny bit hungry. If you eat to you’re not hungry anymore, instead of eating to you’re full, and if you allow yourself to feel a bit hungry most of the time, then you won’t get fat.


      • Did you ever ask yourself where people get the ideas they get about food, and why they overeat at all?

        Let’s say it is a weakness of character…Where does this weakness of character come from? What facilitates it?

        Instant gratification culture is a big problem today, and I will tell you that wankers are a much bigger problem than fatties. Even hot women now have to compete with porn for level of convenience.

        So there’s a lot more going on here than “don’t overeat”.

        Everybody has their defects. At least the fat people’s are visible.


      • on August 1, 2013 at 12:54 pm Hugh G. Rection

        You don’t “burn” calories. Oversimplifying complex processes is a huge part of the problem. It’s the same simplicity that says “eating fat makes you fat” or “eating cholesterol raises your blood cholesterol”.


      • “Oversimplifying complex processes is a huge part of the problem.”

        Indeed, as is ascribing too much importance to complex processes that are below the noise threshold or balance over time. While calorie counting for weight change is not very precise, it is reasonably accruate as a first order approximation.

        For most people going to the second order means a difference of only a few percent. No matter what else may or may not be happening energy is the currency of metabolism.

        The real problem, however, is using total body weight as a proxy for fat mass when they aren’t the same thing at all. You can, for instance, gain 5 pounds by letting your hair grow out.


  51. From the comments, and the original post itself, I have to ask if you guys would be happier in a reconstituted Deep South?

    The Cavaliers | JayMan’s Blog


    • You seem to be a student of history, so you should know that the kind of women Chateau readers want existed in the north well before they did in the South, and that they didn’t meaningfully exist in the South until Reconstruction brought widespread industrialization and rural flight there.

      Women in agrarian cultures are strong and thin, but they aren’t exactly ‘hot’ or down for sex beyond a tired lay in bed with their husband/farmhand after the first sleep to take the edge off of exhaustion.

      Light-hearted degenerates want to live in the “cashing-in” phase of cultural decline when the productive assets of the past are turned into fun now. Too soon, and everyone’s too productive and monogamous in the buildup phase. Too late, and everyone’s ugly, depressed and self-loathing and the good life is happening on the other side of the globe.


    • No, black people deserve to be treated well.


  52. on July 31, 2013 at 8:54 pm suppressedtruthsociety

    What’s especially amusing is how feminists speak as though western culture uniquely over-values thinness in women, and it’s led to a nation overrun with anorexics. As I’m sure you suspected, the statistics don’t exactly agree:


  53. on July 31, 2013 at 8:57 pm Nietzschean

    Someone needs to watch Shallow Hal again and this time feel it.


  54. I don’t understand the simultaneous disdain and concern over the fatties (and there close pariah cousins, smokers). Why shame them into doing better things for themselves if you truly hold them in contempt? Moreover from a macro perspective, why bully them into better behavior, when that will just extend their life and amount to higher long run social costs? In other words, most people have things completely backwards; healthy, long living people are a much larger drain on a system with social programs in place. I suppose ole Hertiste is humanitarian at heart, but I don’t get it.


    • This isn’t about helping people.

      It’s about asserting one’s status, or at least one’s idea of one’s status.

      The problem, as I see it, since the independent are going to defy whatever the norm is anyway, is that it’s just sheep in the pasture bleating their hearts out to no end. It’s not solving the underlying problem which is society under the hand of the elite, being manipulated into enforcing a standard for the profit of said elite.

      Fat shaming has been big business since the sexual revolution. Before that, people shamed others for not fitting the standard at a natural frequency and pace, but generally it was viewed as a personal problem, not the scourge of humanity. With the desire of feminists to promote the idea of an androgynous idea and create a generation of fat free amazons, plus the diet industry, there was and is a well funded moral panic against fat.

      But in case anyone hasn’t noticed, what’s being promoted as solutions are things that put money in the pockets of the elite, not things that will actually make people healthier.

      I refuse to be that kind of tool who sends people to the surgeon instead of the survivalist.


      • on August 1, 2013 at 12:50 pm Hugh G. Rection

        With the desire of feminists to promote the idea of an androgynous idea and create a generation of fat free amazons, plus the diet industry, there was and is a well funded moral panic against fat.

        Feminists don’t want women to be thin or attractive.

        But in case anyone hasn’t noticed, what’s being promoted as solutions are things that put money in the pockets of the elite, not things that will actually make people healthier.

        How so? So far everyone has railed against big agriculture and processed food.


      • Hugh, they’re trying to cover it up now, but from the 60’s to the 90’s, they were writing articles pressuring women to strive for a <12 percent bodyfat and not to worry when their periods stopped because fertility wasn't important.

        The 30+ years of encouraging women to be not slim in the sense of not too fat, but to have as little bodyfat as possible, they don't want people to know about because once the grain and carb fueled amazon dream did not materialize, they had to find a way to make what really happened okay.

        When the fat acceptance movement started gaining steam in the 70's, they were considered anti feminist. Now, all of a sudden the feminists are embracing fat acceptance. I'm one of just a handful who isn't falling for the scam.

        As far as the processed food and big agriculture, most people say one thing and do another. Most can't afford to do otherwise. They buy the frankenfood because that's what they can afford.


  55. I’m sick of fatasses. The last wedding I attended had a sumo-sized matron of honor whose dress was -covered- in food stains less than 15 minutes into the reception. This 300 pound IT troll at work was caught scarfing down other peoples’ lunches last month. Some wildebeast in a scooter almost ran my 2 year old daughter over at the supermarket the other day.


  56. Ryann Van
    As I am not on the CH writing team, I cannot speak from authority or certain knowledge,. There might be warrants for my confinement. Whatever…
    But, Hell Yes ! Heartiste is an Humanitarian. In exactly the same way that R. Lee Emory was as the drill sergeant in S. Kubricks “Full Metal Jacket.” It is for your own good, son; and it is not personal – it is just business. Smack!
    Here is another clue. It is the fattness that owns the contempt. Undo that and the slim girl who emerges can expect to see a righteous Flag-Pole Salute.


  57. Another funny thing involving the fat is when the Daily Mail run those “news” stories about them. They’ll pick a person who weights about 600 lbs and is restricted to his bed, surround him with the amount of food he eats per day, and take photos. There was one guy with huge man tits and a glum expression on his face lying surrounded by something like a bucket of chicken, a tray of donuts, a 2 litre bottle of Coke, a cheesecake, a plate of pies, and a jumbo packet of chips. You can imagine the photographer arranging it, getting behind the camera, and saying “You know what? Put the tray of donuts on his belly.” Usually the headline is just as bad – ‘Wall To Be Demolished So Fat Man Can Leave House’, etc. It’s cruel, but it would be a lie to say it isn’t funny.


  58. on July 31, 2013 at 11:52 pm Backdoor Man

    My mother has been overweight-obese as long as I can remember. The real hilarity began when she fell while walking on a beach in miami on vacation a few years ago. Two knee replacements later (one with serious complications), she is still a disgusting fatbody. She will die young, as did my father. All my relatives are disgusting fatbodies, but my brother and I have managed to avoid the curse through lifestyle decisions: eat clean and exercise hard. Fucking simple.


  59. If gay is the new black,
    then I predict,
    that in future movies,
    God will be depicted as a flamboyant gay man.


  60. I kid you not; I once witness a huge fattie schoolgirl (she was around 16 in school uniform) walking along with a large backpack.
    She tripped over and literally went ass over head, to land back on her ass with her legs splayed outwards and the backpack in her lap.

    I was too shocked to laugh.


  61. on August 1, 2013 at 5:56 am Louis Thorndon

    You are a brilliant person, but who gives a stuff about fat people? Did one anally rape you or something?


    • Ha. I’m generally not one to armchair psychologize or dream up scenarios in my head, but I imagine something like this happened.


  62. Last weekend I pulled this chick into my car from club, sat on me on drivers seat fooling around about to drive back home when she goes ‘Can’t leave my friend in town alone!’

    We go pick up her friend. Her fat friend realizes I made a remark about her weight hours before and goes ‘HE CALLED ME FAT!’ when in actual reality I said “you’re very pretty but you have got to watch what you’re eating’. Of course I didn’t get laid :*(


    • Big deal…at least you spoke truth to a women who desperately needed it. I respect that more.

      In a way you did get laid. You put your dick into that woman’s mind and she can’t stop thinking about it.


  63. I lost almost 60 pounds since last July. Have about 10 pounds to go. What inspired me was eating lunch last July at a Golden Corral (buffet restaurant, if you don’t know) where the 90% of the lunch crowd consisted of men and women, black, white, and hispanic, with weights I estimated to be north of 400 lbs. I was there along on my lunch break so I people-watched. The looks on their faces, the feverish excitement as they ‘raced’ for the buffet line. The woman who almost knocked me over when I walked to the bread table for a butter packet because she thought I was going for the rolls (she took the last FIVE for herself). The woman at the table next to me with her portable DVD player and a stack of at least 10 plates, working her way through a platter of yeast rolls. I guess she was there for the day. If there had been hoverboard loungers, I would have thought I was in the world of Wall-E.

    I went on a diet/exercise plan that day and never looked back. It’s disgusting. I was disgusted with myself even though I had yet to even approach the level of grotesqueness I witnessed that day (I hope).


  64. Lol reminds me of a story I wrote about a fat chick getting a physical


  65. CH, I assume you’ve seen your ***favorite*** writer’s take on the study?

    The comments are a goldmine of buck passing and ugly lies.


  66. When I got out of the Air Force, I gained 60 lbs in 6 mo. I did not overeat, but I did not watch my weight like I had to on active duty. I just ate what I wanted to and quit when I was full. It took me over two years to loose that weight. I now weigh what I did when I got out of the AF. Here’s some hints, avoid carbs, take Magnesium supplements, and exercise everyday.


  67. on August 1, 2013 at 12:03 pm Hugh G. Rection

    Don’t know if it’s true or not, but it’s funny as shit, in a creepy way.


  68. Here you go:
    The Hacker’s Diet:

    King of Recomp, Lyle McDonald on Fat Loss:

    Most obsessive-obesity is tied to the cocaine-like serotonergic effects fast carbs have in your brain; esp. hfcs.

    And Fullness. Or lack of it in bad diets.

    Ex.: Feed a fattie nothing but dry spinach for even 1 meal, and even their concrete-furniture-destroying-carcasses couldn’t hack the bulk.

    To get 100 calories of dry spinach leaves takes 7 cups.

    That equates to 84 for the average 300lb. male who gets no exercise on 3 meals/day (1200c+ each).


  69. Sigh…heartiste, heartiste, heartiste. Have you learned nothing? Our genes have not changed, our environment has. As jayman has demonstrated, a proper weight was maintained effortlessly by our recent forbears (witness crowd scenes from the 20’s)

    So your prescription for obesity is merciless ridicule? You forget that we, fat and lean, are americans, with our guilt culture, rather than a shame culture. Shame me cos i’ m gay? Well, screw you and the horse you rode in on. That attitude will soon characterize the obese. There’s such a thing as morally indignant backlash.

    Yours is thank god a losing battle. With any luck a more positive and health conscious movement will take care of the problem with a minimum of psychological distress.


  70. not sure shaming works anymore though, too much positive reinforcement for anything at all, she’s got plenty of ‘likes’:

    This picture is for the strange man at my nanny’s church who told me my belly was too big when I was five.

    This picture is for my horseback riding trainer telling me I was too fat when I was nine.

    This picture is for the girl from summer camp who told me I’d be really pretty if I just lost a few pounds

    This picture is for all the fucking stupid advertising agents who are selling us cream to get rid of our stretch marks, a perfectly normal thing most people have (I got mine during puberty)

    This picture is for the boy at the party who told me I looked like a beached whale.

    This picture is for Emily from middle school, who bullied me incessantly, made mocking videos about me, sent me nasty emails, and called me “lard”.


  71. where were you that you could be witnessing the hora?


  72. Telling someone you care about that they need to lose weight, telling them in a loving way, because you’re concerned about them? That is a good thing. Being blunt about it if they’re in denial? Necessary. It may hurt for a while, but most people will take some straight talk from a loved one.

    Shaming you don’t know or barely know, telling them that they are a worthless pile of shit because the sight of them doesn’t give you a boner? It’s the move of an asshole. The fatty’s purpose in life shouldn’t be to give you a boner, for one thing. And, if they get enough of the hate, and if they have some emotional instability or weakness, the barrage of hatred will most likely make it worse.

    So-called “Fat shaming,” the kind described here, is just a way for assholes to justify acting like assholes. It’s not really about trying to help someone else improve themselves and be more happy. You have to genuinely care about the person first, and I think that type of “caring” is in short supply among many here. lol!


  73. Sandra dear, you’re not entirely wrong. But – let’s pause for emphasis – the lunatic leftoids should have thought of that before pushing men to the limits of their mental endurance. If men have finally had enough it’s only too easy to understand that many of them would want to hit back as slyly as they can. I don’t agree with what they do, and would not encourage it, but neither do I have much interest in attempting to stop it. As for the fatties trying to spread “fat acceptance” flapdoodle, as far as I’m concerned they richly deserve everything that gets thrown at them.


    • If these men want to direct their anger on just the militant fat acceptance types, the ones who belittle thinness and demand that all men find them attractive, fine.

      But there are many fatties who are struggling, and what they need is a loved one to help them improve themselves, not some hostile asshole getting in their face, some ass who doesn’t even know them and will probably never like them, regardless.

      The link burke gave probably disgusted many of you guys, but what I got out of it was, maybe NOW this girl will love herself enough to do what is right for her and her health. Likely that will include eating better. She needs to be healthy inside her head, and do something for her own wellbeing. Being bullied into it or berated isn’t going to do the trick.

      newyorker’s response hits the nail on the head. Shaming gets more responses like, ‘Screw you, asshole!’ The asshole who does it may feel some momentary feeling of superiority and satisfaction, but nothing is really going to be improved by it. And all this bitching about how awful those fatties are is just a waste of time. Bitching and bitching among yourselves, but nothing changes for the better. And then the fatties come by, read all your bitching and they think, well at least something good came of me being fat, all these douches are upset about it! And then another convert to the fat acceptance movement is created! LOL.


  74. […] of the funniest posts I've read about fatties. I doubled over in laughter, maybe you will too. Funny Shit Fatties Do | Chateau Heartiste A sample, "In my travels far and WIDE, I have seen fat people do some really funny shit, […]


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