What A Girl’s Job Tells You

Here are my opinions of the sexual and relationship compatibilities of girls with the following jobs:

Some of the commenters mentioned I left interns and staffers off the list.  I count these girls as part of the hr/marketing/pr brigade except they are burdened with much bigger egos, self-righteousness, and workaholic issues.  They all secretly want to hook up with an older powerful man.  They disdain artist types.
SSR:  full erection (come on, they’re all under 23. rigidity guaranteed)
LTPR:  varies (are you a congressman? lock her in. if not, use her and lose her)

It was an oversight by me to leave off saleswomen.  See: Lawyer and HR/Marketing/PR.  Much depends on how well she does in sales.  Because sales is so inegalitarian in how the field dispenses its rewards, you have to make a distinction between weekend warriors and the true success stories.  Is she a dilettante real estate agent?  She’ll be grounded and feminine.  Consider a long term investment in her.  Did she turn $250K in commissions as a pharm sales rep?  She’s just as alpha and ballcutting masculine as the BIGLAW lawyer.  Just remember, if she can compete with the most aggressive MEN and still come out on top, her vagina is coated with radioactive juices.

Note on lawyers:  Just because she may work for a non-profit doesn’t make her a kinder, gentler woman.  In fact, some of the most cutthroat lawyers work at non-profits since those positions are in demand and in short supply.  Moralism and megalomania is never a good combination.


Amoral alpha males with vaginas.  Their yin is so deeply buried they spend all their free time (2 hours per week) fantasizing about a powerful dominant man releasing their inner woman.  This is your cue to ratchet up the assholery.  Outside of i-bankers and fashionistas, you will not meet a more materialistic or status-conscious chick than a lawyer.  When she inevitably starts talking about what law school she attended and politicos she knows, put your finger up to her mouth and say “shhh… stop.  from now on we will talk about happy things.  tell me only the good things that come to mind about your childhood.”  Most lawyer chicks have large clits which they use to pin you down on the bed.  Making love to a lawyer means facefucking her till she pukes a little.  The gods of karmic retribution will be pleased with this.  Lawyers are always fucking over everyone else so this is your chance to return the favor.  Proceed with great relish.
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  4/5th erection
Long Term Potential Rating:  don’t be a masochist

Human Resources/Marketing/Public Relations (99% of all women)

Since so many women work in these preposterous fields, it is hard to say anything definitive about them as romantic partners.  The only conclusions we can draw are that these women are people-persons (shocker!) and have ADD.  They could not sit still for a minute and reduce a fraction if their lives depended on it.  They are intuitive and fiercely catty, but also practical.  In fact, conventional wisdom to the contrary notwithstanding, women are more practical than men.  Let her believe you think her job is important and she will spread her legs for you unbidden.
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  2/3rd erection
Long Term Potential Rating:  3/4 carat

Engineer (0.00001% of all women)

If there was ever an occupation created solely for the benefit of a man’s intellectual strengths, engineering is it.  So right off the bat you know that any female engineer will be weird.  Not necessarily assertively masculine like the female lawyer, but not typically feminine either.  Female engineers are the Holy Grail of male nerddom.  Every nerdo anime fanboy with Dungeon Master on his resume dreams of meeting and falling in love with a cute nerdgirl WHO IS EXACTLY LIKE HIM so that his autistic social retardation doesn’t get pushed to the breaking point like it would with a normal girl.
Minus: fornication mysteriously happens in between lengthy dissertations on string theory.
Plus: she can assume sex positions within a millimeter of spec.
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  1/4th erection
Long Term Potential Rating:  5 carats

Elementary School Teacher

Pure gold.  Put this girl on your short list for long term commitment.  What’s not to love about the elementary school teacher?  Cute, thin (it’s a workout chasing kids all day), ultra feminine, nurturing, selfless, caring, and most importantly blessedly low maintenance due to the nature of her workplace environment sequestering her from the attentions of men.  The best ones teach 1st through 5th grades.  Women who supervise daycare are too toddler-focused and will love the kids more than you.  You will soon tire of her coo-ing at every baby you both pass by.  High school teachers are too stressed out from their job to properly service your manly needs at home.  Don’t bother with college professors unless you think foreplay is listening to an earful of pomo feminist shrillness.
Bonus:  teachers don’t make much money so your financial status will always be higher, guaranteeing a long and healthy relationship.
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  3/4th erection
Long Term Potential Rating:  hope diamond (she’s not gonna have much opportunity to cheat at work)


See:  elementary school teacher.  One caveat — the nurse is secretly a status whore.  Patients lean on her all day for comfort and assistance so when she gets home she wants nothing more for herself than a high status alpha male to lean on.  That is why you will often see nurses pairing up with military officers, stockbrokers, and executives.  The superfeminine gravitates to the supermasculine.  Surprisingly, nurses and doctors rarely date — perhaps they look for a partner in whom they can escape the human suffering they deal with on the clock, and not be reminded of it at home.
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  1/3rd erection (full erection if she wears the nurse outfit)
Long Term Potential Rating:  cubic zirconia (it’s fun to fool status whores)


Hidden gem.  The female scientist is reserved, taciturn, introspective, shy, and when they put some effort into how they look, cute — all wonderful traits for a woman to possess.  They ambitiously pursue abstract ideas, not material goals or oneupsmanship, so status competition with them will be minimal.  They are smart in the way people like their smarties — inwardly directed as opposed to outwardly manipulative.  This is a result of their smarts being spread out over both brain hemispheres rather than concentrated in just the right like most women.  The scientist’s natural creativity and systematizing impulse will express itself with magnificent attention to detail in the bedroom.  You will never get a better… or more meticulous… blowjob.
Minus:  she is ultimately rational and will give you exactly six months to propose.  No stringing along this chick.
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  serviceable chubby
Long Term Potential Rating:  3 carats  (frumpy clothes and dorky competition encourage fidelity)


Have you ever seen an unhappy man dating a stripper?  The novelty, bragging rights, and earthshattering sex are worth the drama.
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  titanium rod
Long Term Potential Rating:  hide your valuables


Don’t ask me why but for some reason these girls have absolutely no personal ethical code whatsoever.  Which may be why the journalism profession is in such disarray today and trusted by no one.  The she-journo will fuck around remorselessly with a dashing embed while her fiancee waits loyally at home for her return.
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  3/4th erection
Long Term Potential Rating:  1/24 carat


Every man should experience at least once in his life the joy of dating an artist chick.  Painters, photographers, singers, freelance fiction writers, actresses… their exuberant lovemaking will spoil you for all other women.  Their beautiful romantic gestures will capture your heart.  Their craving for intimacy and their wellspring of empathy will draw you in.  And then right at the moment you fall deepest for her you will catch her one night frenching a half-shaven DJ at a seedy club.
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  titanium rod minus refractory period
Long Term Potential Rating:  cracker jack box ring


Are you fucking kidding me?
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  flaccid
Long Term Potential Rating:  why bother?


That’s more like it.
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  7/8th erection
Long Term Potential Rating:  1/2 carat


If she writes a confessional online diary, expect her to be passive-aggressive, petty, moody, cruel, untrustworthy, vengeful, and highly libidinous.  Make a sex tape as soon as it is feasible so you can use it as blackmail in the event of post-breakup threats to out your dirty laundry on her blog.
Sexual Satisfaction Rating:  N/A
Long Term Potential Rating:  N/A

I hope it hasn’t escaped anyone’s notice that sexual satisfaction and long term potential are inversely related.


  1. […] 23549 wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptLong Term Potential Rating: 3 carats (frumpy clothes and dorky competition encourage fidelity). Stripper. Have you ever seen an unhappy man dating a stripper? The novelty, bragging rights, and earthshattering sex are worth the drama. … […]


  2. You are so fucking right about nurses and their secret status obsession. A while ago, I was the rebound guy for a nurse who had previously dated a tall, hulking insurance executive who owned a bar on the side. After me, she got into a relationship with yet another large, alpha executive type.

    Me? 5’7′, and when I pulled her I was unemployed. I then got a data entry marketing job to pass the time until grad school. I doubt she was impressed.

    Still fun, though.


  3. The mastery of your subject is revealed in “Journalist.” Way to get in the nooks and crannies!

    “Every man should experience at least once in his life the joy of dating an artist chick.”

    As should every woman experience the artist man. It just flat out makes you a better lover when you spend intimate time with those who live primarily in the senses. If you don’t have the talent to be an artist at least learn to make love like one. However, hide your purse. The male artist is the equivalent of the female stripper.

    “Plus: she can assume sex positions within a millimeter of spec.”

    Haha you’re no engineer! But that’s just nitpicking.

    What about women who do manual labor like the welding chick in flashdance?


  4. your comparison between the ceo and waitress, classic. so true, and pretty much decimates all the assumptions of feminism. ladies, men don’t care about your status! in fact, high status works against you!


  5. Who writes a blog for a living?


  6. you might be on to something here…
    im particularly interested in the inverse proportion of the ssr and the ltpr …
    i think there is def a dorky phd candidates thesis there…


  7. My girlfriend is a teacher, and she’s all those things you mentioned. But she’s a middle school teacher for kids who can’t read good.


  8. Spot on about female lawyers but especially in DC.

    In general, for many the law has become a “safety” career or fallback position for those who are intelligent but not gifted enough to go into other, more substantive learned professions, like medicine, science, architecture, engineering, etc. People see law as a chance to use their verbal skills and validate their intelligence and self worth, in lieu of actually having a talent (or developing) a talent for something real.

    I know this, I’m a recovering lawyer.

    For many women with masculine traits in their personalities, especially, it’s a way of getting a stamp of approval that they are “somebody” and “not to be messed with”. Having the law degree and important-seeming career (even though they’re essentially some corporate bigshot’s paper pusher) gives them the sense of power they so desperately crave.

    You’re right about the nurses, too, although I disagree that not many nurses marry doctors. My dad was a doctor and his second wife was a nurse. Lots of nurses are fanatical “medical groupies” and wouldn’t consider dating someone who’s NOT a doctor, or at least not involved in medicine in some way.

    Also, nurses (and women in the “caring professions” in general) tend to have very boring personalities. Nursing is a highly stressful and nurses tend to think about nothing but the hospital and the medical world. And having a woman with good “bedside manner” and medical knowledge is way overrated.


  9. conventional wisdom to the contrary notwithstanding, women are more practical than men.

    True. Men are romantics pretending to be realists, women are realists pretending to be romantics.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My roommate is a lawyer, I date a girl in the marketing profession, I am an engineer, and have several good friends who are nurses and elementary school teachers. From my experiences I can say you’ve nailed all of them, figuratively of course, and maybe literally I don’t know.


  11. Laughed my ass off through this! Brilliant stuff, my friend.

    However, you missed women that work in marketing. If you want to work in a profession that is LOADED with hot women, study marketing; it’s sales without having to close.


  12. What’s up with the Capital Hill / political broads? I mean we do live in DC. Give a brotha some scoop.


  13. no, he got marketing. spot on, too.

    i have to disagree on teachers though. i’ve noticed that they tend to be some of the loopiest girls around, and not spectacularly faithful at that.

    and i know you can’t judge a group based on the behavior of its outliers, but do you care to venture an analysis of the hot-teacher-fucking-6th-grade student phenomenon that we see on cnn every few years?


  14. Spot on to the very last detail.

    The very high cost of living in NY ensures we are oversupplied with lawyers, fashionistas, and i-banker chicks, making it the status seeking capital of the US.

    By the way, I support your theory on higher circulating testosterone in lawyer & MBA chicks. It would explain the larger clit.


  15. This law school guy I’m trying to rid from my mind (he’s exactly what you said people don’t like- outwardly manipulative, and not inwardly directed) told me he loathes girls in his law school. He finds them unattractive even if they’re good looking.

    As for me, I’m closer to the scientist. Except that I’m also part nurse. A scientist with nurse leanings. That explains my secret drive for rich men, and also that I’m good at…
    But I don’t wear those clothes, nor am I chubs. Close!


  16. Beware though, I found a significant number of female teachers to be rather slutty.



  17. I’ve known several short, definitely not very dominant math/science guys with really beautiful girlfriends/wives. Of course, the women were all asian. As I said, find your niche.

    Steve Sailer had this to say on the phenomenon.

    (Example: John Derbyshire)


  18. My longtime girlfriend is a biomedical engineer (so pretty much a mix between engineer and scientist), and nerd fantasy is spot on, for both the mental and social reasons he cites.

    In a longterm relationship the majority of your time together will be spent in nonsexual contexts, so, especially if you’re like me, if you don’t have someone you can relate to intellectually there will be resentment and increasing distance. Given the typical female mind, I need one of those 0.00001% of females who think like a man to be happy. I did try dating one elementary school teacher and her emotional feminity was draining and her conversational preferences were exceedingly mundane.

    Also, although my girlfriend is feminine and attractive (which seems to be more common for Asian engineers than white ones), she’s also very socially awkward, and I’ve seen how she withdraws uncomfortably from other men. I’m the only man she’s ever kissed! So for the first time in my entire history of dating, I’ve never experienced that volatile and primal tinge of male jealously.

    I’m an architect and I dated nothing but artists before her. Art college in particular had a massive free love ethos, with pretty much universal female promiscuity. So scientist for long term, artists for short term has worked very well for me.


  19. on October 11, 2007 at 12:18 am Days of Broken Arrows

    Great list. But I’d like to add that nurses are also something of perverts (I know from experience). They love drama and seeing parts of the human body most people don’t get to see.

    Also, you left out policy analysts and poiltical types in general (women who work on elections, etc). This breed of women can be found only in DC, so I hope you’ll get to ’em someday!


  20. A few observations:

    (I should point out that I’ve never been that interested in the casual sex thing, but I’m always looking for an edge in the dating game. A lot of his stuff is just as applicable if you want a real girlfriend.)

    1. If you are the quiet solicitor type, law school is hell for getting a date. The women are exactly as he describes and your competition is a bunch of future trial lawyers, the highest testosterone profession out there. BTW a certain subset of female lawyers have lots of affairs, but most care more about work than sex. On the other hand, teacher’s college is amazing. Beware though, I found a significant number of female teachers to be rather slutty. A lot of them tend to be overly emotional, not all that smart and also rather easily manipulable.

    2. Remember, as long as you arent’ a total schlub, the biggest determinate of how well you do in dating is the environment you go into. This involves both sex ratio and the type of girls each environment attracts. Unless you are some super alpha, you have to find your niche. It took me awhile to find mine. I started out studying Hebrew in undergrad at a big public U, the department was filled with lots of religious Jews and some religious Christians. Theoretically, my prime market. However, lets face it, religious girls tend to be very nice, good people, but they are also very demanding. If you don’t demonstrate that you are going to be a good provider, you are out. Flakey, fun, witty, art guys generally need not apply. Law school was hell, until I made friends with this nursing student from my hometown who introduced me to all her friends. And teacher’s college was like hitting the jackpot. I love the artier Elementary, High School English or Music teachers. Being a sub in Elementary schools is a good way to get an in. And all those dominance traits you have to develop just to survive in law serve you well.

    3. Internet dating sites have huge numbers of elementary school teachers and nurses. If you are good looking and have a decent job the internet is actually not a bad place to try and meet one of these girls, but only if you want a long term relationship. (If you’re prime virtues are in-person confidence and charisma, the internet is a lousy place to meet women.)

    4. Oh and large clitorises on lawyers – oh so very true. Don’t ask how I know.


  21. One thing you need to factor into the ‘keeper’ rating is the stress level of the job. Teachers, for example, do tend to be really easy, but their job is an emotional rollercoaster that they will routinely blow back on you with little or no forewarning. Also, for better or worse, they tend to burst into kinderbabble during foreplay. HR girls, on the other hand, spend their day so buried in fluff, gossip and cubicle minutiae that you will never be able to take what they are serious about seriously, and vice versa.

    The allure of the engineer girl (seeing as I am surrounded by them all day) is that they totally forget they’re supposed to be sexy around men, and end up acting totally natural, which can be a serious turn-on. Plus, they know big words that, unlike the lawyer or scientist, are not Latin. The downside of the engineer girl is that they totally forget they’re supposed to be sexy around men, which results in looking like ass, slouching, guffawing, and occasionally smelling bad.


  22. Excellent post, spot on


  23. The best part about these posts is that it shows most of the girls will try to validate themselves from the “Alpha’s” point of view.

    I’m the exception to the rules, I swear!

    It’s not just the girls though. Guys try to make an excuses and exceptions to the definitions of alpha male just as much. I don’t get why they do it, because it just plays into him. It’s like he’s causing people to try to validate themselves on a mass scale, by forcing them into his frame.
    Interesting and frightening all at once.

    I’m starting to get a feeling any true alpha wouldn’t give a crap about all these rules and definitions, because he’s 100% secure in his own skin and satisfied with his life– a la Tom Cruise jumping over the couh on Oprah and not giving a shit.


  24. on October 10, 2007 at 9:05 pm David Alexander

    I may think he’s is a sexist pig, but I’ll give him credit. He’s a literate, witty sexist pig…

    Fun shits and giggles question: Based on the knowledge you have of me from my irrational and cryptic posts, which of these women are right for me on a short term and long-term basis? Given the responses that I could get, I’d be tempted to pay… 🙂

    BTW, what about hairdressers and other women involves in the lower rung of beauty industry?


  25. In general what works best is a relationship in which he makes somewhat more and she does traditionally female work (teacher, nurse, and one you forgot: librarian).

    Fuck that. If she takes employment in a traditionally female field, that means I’m required to work harder to make up for the gap in her pay. I want my wife to earn as much as possible so she can support herself and not be a parasite on me. I’d work to earn the most possible so I wouldn’t be a drain on her finances either.

    Men and women who compete against each other are the best partners, since it encourages us to do our best to attract another mate.


  26. Although well written, I don’t buy it. It assumes every girl is doing what she wants to do and not doing what she’s doing because it has the potential to create the most income for her. Which I guess is another type of girl all together. So maybe it does have some merit. Sh!t, I’m a computer programmer, and if I had my druthers I’d be a rock-n-roll guitar god with a golf habit. Holy crap, I want to be Alice Cooper! Good Lord no!!!


  27. on October 11, 2007 at 4:17 am bloggingbarbie

    hysterical. and def. some truth to those observations. that is, coming from a marketing/pr girl like myself.


  28. I concur with his table and conclusions. In general what works best is a relationship in which he makes somewhat more and she does traditionally female work (teacher, nurse, and one you forgot: librarian). Problem today stems from women competing with men for economic and political power. As I’ve said before, men and women who compete with each other do not fuck. Period.

    As for the engineers, if you are a dweeb beware because the probability of your kids diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder is not insignificant. Take it from me, I know from experience.


  29. I agree with eipoe1, but only to a point. Yes, not all girls (or people in general) find their best niche. It’s common, for example, for young women in upper middle class to be pushed by their ambitious parents into higher-status professions.

    And yet…. I believe that water will always find its level. If a computer programmer had the personality and talents of a an Alice Cooper, he’d have gravitated to rock n roll to begin with.


  30. Some of the chix who work in traditionally male skilled trades (electrician, auto technician, heavy equipment operator, etc.) can be surprisingly hott. I’ll bet they also have fewer neuroses than chix in more traditionally female jobs.


  31. interesting. yup i lost a lwayer girl just bvcos i went into beta mode. in alpha-like mode i had her nice. oh well. shit happens. what do u do when a flake comes back?. but more importantly, can u write a post on the differences between u and david alexander. i usually agree with his point of view, he is beta but sounds like he will make a good alpha, or should i say he is alpha in beta skin. he says his mind and stands for it, no shit. so a post on similarities, difference, successes with women and life in general… u up for it?


  32. Sorry DA, MVD and I are right (and I wish I had remembered the Boy George reference first), as borne out by fertility statistics. Google “red state fertility” for further info.


  33. […] Read the rest of this great post here […]


  34. DA, if in your dealings with babes you show even one-tenth of the intelligence you show on this site, I am totally at a loss to explain your failings. Great post (even if I concur in part and dissent in part).


  35. on October 11, 2007 at 8:03 pm startingtoday

    I was an elementary school teacher for 5 years (until this year). Grades 1, 2, and 3. I like your analysis.


  36. “I want my wife to earn as much as possible so she can support herself and not be a parasite on me. I’d work to earn the most possible so I wouldn’t be a drain on her finances either.”

    These two sentences are illuminating. For H (and myself) it seems that the financial aspect of a relationship is far less important than the sexual and emotional components. I would gladly provide for a woman who fit the personality type I am most attracted to and feel would be the most likely to arouse in me a sustainable desire to be monogamous. Constant competition is the opposite of what I want in a long-term relationship; it’s not a motivator, it’s stress. Leave that shit at the office. When I’m at home, I want to be able to let the guard down, not feel like I have to ratchet it up.

    In the immortal words of Boy George, I don’t want to feel like “every day is like survival/you’re my lover, not my rival…”


  37. Good post. I always thought I’d marry an elementary teacher because of the rep for being nice, caring, and cute, and the fact that they almost never are around men over the age of 10. The one worry I’d have is that most elementary teachers just aren’t that smart – they go to directional State U and probably got only about 1000 on the SAT. I definitely think science girls are underrated, they can be surprisingly cute and down to earth.

    Nurses on the other hand are overrated. Most aren’t hot and for some reason I don’t find them that nice.

    Another post idea might be for us guys, which jobs are best for attracting women?


  38. u r all idiots. stupid remarks and the whole thing was ridiculous and degrading even for women who may deserve it,,, i got this junk forwarded to me… just re-enforces how stupid americans are…


  39. DA, if in your dealings with babes you show even one-tenth of the intelligence you show on this site, I am totally at a loss to explain your failings. Great post (even if I concur in part and dissent in part).

    Seriously, I’m not that smart. The only reason I seem intelligent is because anybody can blather on the internet about sex and relationships and come across as intelligent. It doesn’t prove much. In effect, in real life, I come across as a blathering idiot with no personality, and the tendencies of a Catholic School boy, social phobe, and geek mixed together with a dash of hidden perversion, underemployment, and some resentment of those who graduated and did better than me.

    It’s a sad loop. I’m too poor and loserish for successful girls, too smart for the poor underachieving girls, too white (and elitist) for black girls (who I am really not interested in for LTRs anyway), and not black enough for white girls.

    BTW, nobody did answer my fun question, best girls for me to date? 🙂

    Another post idea might be for us guys, which jobs are best for attracting women?

    Anything that makes money and gives you a lot of power.


  40. DA, I’m talking mainly about attracting hot women for short-term relationships and good sex. I have a feeling some women go for “creative” or “macho” guys that might not be rich. Long term, yes, status and money are it. But a guy must always be careful to NEVER become a good provider used by a woman who will cheat on him.

    I personally think sex with a female law student or lawyer must be great…seems like they get right to it and like it a little rough. If I go to law school, I’ll let you all know if it’s true.


  41. i usually agree with his point of view, he is beta but sounds like he will make a good alpha, or should i say he is alpha in beta skin

    David’s maternal grandfather was what one would consider a player in modern times, and was the mayor of his home town. His paternal grandfather while not a player did have numerous children and was a successful plantation owner until Hurrican Hazel hit his ancestral home in the late 1950s. David’s paternal great-grandfather was a Minister of Defense of a poor third world nation in the early 1900s.

    David probably inherited the elitism of his grandmother and the social phobia (and elitism) of his other grandmother.

    Google “red state fertility” for further info.

    I remember reading about that from super-xenophobe and quasi-White supramacist Steve Sailer’s website. Essentially it works out because low real estate prices combined with low cost of living, and low expectations (school and local colleges are “good-enough”). Red-staters get married earlier, so they’re more likely to have jobs instead of careers, and they’re much more optimistic about the future world for raising kids.

    In contrast, blue staters need to work longer and harder to buy homes, and because blue state homes are smaller, they serve as a disincentive to having more children. In turn, careers prevent earlier mating and in turn delay childbirth. Plus, blue staters want their children to go to the best schools in the best neighbourhoods. Unlike in other parts of the country, flagship state universities are seen as loser schools that everybody considers a safety school. In effect, our greedy, materialistic blue starter lifestyle makes children too expensive to keep. 🙂

    For H (and myself) it seems that the financial aspect of a relationship is far less important than the sexual and emotional components.

    I think the financial aspect is the most important part of a relationship. Maybe it’s because I view money as tool to create happiness since it allows access to happiness, but I’m a materialistic whore and view money as the tool to “buy” women to cover up for poor social skills or personality.

    I just feel better in a relationship knowing that each partner has their own money and doesn’t rely of each other for financial support. It only creates hatred and contempt between partners, and whatever love existed wilts away because of arguements over spending habits. If I did find the girl who was right for me, but if I had to support her, I’d seriously consider dumping her.

    Given the financial tensions between my father who works overtime on a weekly basis and my stay at home mother (who also doesn’t work for medical reasons), I’d prefer to avoid that situation by having a wife who can support herself financially and pay for her own bills. I don’t want to hate her because she’s spending my money.

    Mind you, you’re talking to somebody who has no faith in long-term relationships, and thinks that everybody should be in short-term relationships.


  42. on October 12, 2007 at 5:56 am mr. s. johnson

    A couple additions to the list from my own personal experiences:

    Psychologists/Psychiatrists/other mental health professionals

    The stereotype is true; these ladies really ARE as crazy as their patients. They can be surprisingly good in bed, but usually have one or two very big hangups…one would not make love with the lights on, for example. Their ruthlessly clinical approach to other aspects of life can be offputting and they, like nurses, tend to run out of caring and sympathy for any of your problems; for that reason, their long-term potential is nearly nil. Running game on them is a lot of fun; they’re usually so overly analytical that they fail to catch obvious game, treating it as some kind of probing tactic.

    Sexual Satisfaction Rating: 2/3rd erection (kinky!)
    Long Term Potential Rating: they’ll be fitting you for the straitjacket


    Very good in bed; usually know many ways to physically satisfy. Like scientific women generally, there is great attention to detail in the bedroom. I concur with his word on the scientists–“you will never get a better… or more meticulous… blowjob.” The sex will definitely be memorable.
    the BIG minus: Hoo–boy…G-d complex out the wazoo; they are deferred to so much at work, they expect you to listen to all their tales of work and their discontents, and since all they do is work, they have a lot of discontents. As alpha in their own right as female lawyers, they are still more feminine and fun, but don’t forget, they will be a hassle.
    Sexual Satisfaction Rating: certain stiffy
    Long Term Potential Rating: good choice if you’re an intelligent and lazy beta–they all want Mr Moms.


    Don’t overlook these ladies…they’re usually pretty good to go, and pretty hot. They usually are fun but unpolished…there are some real diamonds in the rough. the downside is that some of them are so rough that they are coarse. They are in an environment with a lot of alpha behavior, so some of them are pretty crude–which isn’t bad in the bedroom, but can be bad if you’re in a nice restaurant. Often they are status conscious and want money to be spent on them badly, but you may actually have to ratchet down your preening peacocking because they all HATE lawyers and the machismo they exude. The young ones are often very shallow and uninformed and there are few really smart cookies in the mix. Uniformly sexually uninhibited.

    Sexual Satisfaction Rating: excellent
    Long Term Potential Rating: so-so; their work is a bitch, and they usually have a lot of on the job temptation.

    The only female lawyer I ever thought was a good long term prospect is a non-practicing lawyer now. It’s not law school that ruins those women; it’s their personalities–and the worse their personality, the better they seem to be in their practice.


  43. Another post idea might be for us guys, which jobs are best for attracting women?

    Partner in BIGLAW firm
    High-ranking corporate executive


  44. DA, i have ideas but not as clearly and precise as you. else i will be an author but then maybe i need practice and not to hold back my thoughts or worry about cleaning them out as much. its just the way u view urslf, too negativr. i think he will tell u u are too lazy and resistance to change i started talking to women more, going out of my comfort zone and what do u know many girls like me, yet to convert it to u know but its not about that. ur approach to life in general needs a work over. u admitted the problem now think of what u want it to be like, the exact opposite i guess, and work towards it.

    i meet with girls i find out have issues with their boyfrnds and when i am about to close on them, voila they are baclk with their bf, so now at the first sign i dont even bother i just skip. i wont be any ones place holder or point of safety. capish. now go out and hget a good looking successful girl.


  45. ….if youo’re trying to attract the status whores/gold diggers


  46. Peter, tight game aside I would say that jobs in art and entertainment contingent upon some level of success in the industry are probably the best suited for attracting women. For example, music, film producer, or studio executive, etc. Of course, a successful actor or artist has an enormous status advantage that most women cannot resist.


  47. Have you considered the possibility that highly lucrative professions attract certain types of women? Like, law may attract a woman who has never desired to be taken care of by a man. Nor did this woman have any inclinations to the feminine trades. This is what feminism is actually all about- the women who want to be independant and/or have masculine leanings can do what they want. The women who are more feminine or “traditional” in their dreams can still choose the more traditional route. Feminism also allowed unattractive women to have a better life, while the attractive ones can get a better life through a man.

    Things fall into place.


  48. I should hug you Irina. I think that’s one of best written comments here. 🙂


  49. s. johnson – a fine anlysis. in my experience, one i find no disagreement with. and, yes, it’s an open question whether the practicing of law or the personality type the law attracts is responsible for ruining these women as love partners.


  50. its just the way u view urslf, too negativr. i think he will tell u u are too lazy and resistance to change i started talking to women more, going out of my comfort zone and what do u know many girls like me, yet to convert it to u know but its not about that. ur approach to life in general needs a work over. u admitted the problem now think of what u want it to be like, the exact opposite i guess, and work towards it.

    Actually, I wouldn’t consider my viewpoint to be pessimistic, but realistic. I’ve seen many men like myself fail miserably in a failed attempt to attract the opposite sex and spend god knows how much wooing women, and learning how to be a “player” when in fact, when it really doesn’t work in either the short or long term. She’ll either brush you off and dismiss you as a pathetic schlub since she can smell the loser taint, or she’ll stick around until she can get the alpha. Even a “normal” beta has more appeal at this point.

    I’m not angry at women because I have no right to dictate to them their tastes. I mean, just like guys want hot women, girls want the most attractive men that they can find as well. It’s no different for either sex, and being a bitter beta who mistreats women doesn’t change the situation, nor does it make me feel better in the long-term. If it’s obvious that on the relationship market, if your chances for success are low, then it’s not worth putting yourself out there, especially if the only proven market would be ugly (and especially ugly black) women. Yes, even single mothers have better options.

    Seriously, let’s be honest, what woman with any self-respect would date a (24 year old) guy who lives at home with his parents (it is cheaper, and given their current state of health, it’s best to keep close tabs, and the only apartments I can afford are in the fucking ghetto), earn-$10K a year, goes to community college (because he failed out of two normal colleges twice), 5’8, and the biggest elitist oreo from the Caribbean, and finds photography, reading magazines and non-fiction at bookstores, riding trains, and driving around aimlessly fun? Most women at my age can date a guy who has a great job, makes $50K/yr now, and has normal interests in whatever normal people do, can go to expensive, classy restaurants, and they have the benefit of not training him on what to do on a date.


  51. DA:

    Have you thought about going the hipster route? Being poor, sickly, parent’s house bound and with a useless degree hasn’t been too much of a problem for me, not when you can play up all your negatives as a sort of bohemian affectation (which in my case isn’t so much an affectation as my true nature). It’s double plus good if you’re a minority, since the bohos are overwhelmingly white and full of guilt about it. The girls ain’t half bad either. They usually grow out of it, but eh, only losers stick to this kind of life past 35.


  52. The hipster girls aren’t attractive to me. They’re much too plain and unsexy. For me, a hipster girl is actually a great way to ruin an erection. Sadly, my tastes lie in the princess counterparts who spend all day at tanning salons, nail shops, and bebe…


  53. What about aid workers?


  54. Interesting, and your point about not marrying nerd women or you’ll have kids with Asperger’s is well taken. Sometimes it’s time to let go of your adolescent fantasies. I suspect even the scientist is a bad bet as far as kids go.

    Amusingly, I probably do fit the bill of ‘intelligent and lazy beta’. Maybe a female doctor is the answer? Unfortunately, I am told that the number one way to meet a doctor is to go to medical school. Now who’s got 150,000 dollars and ten years to kill? 😉


  55. Oh, and BTW: the clitoris size makes sense when you consider a large clitoris is a sign of exposure to testosterone in utero. Look at hyenas for example.


  56. You are spot-on. Lawyers suck as girlfriends. Seriously, don’t even bother. You should just stay way away from us. Don’t even look at us, even, because we might chomp off your penis if you’re not careful (which is to say nothing about the vagina dentata!) In fact, all of you dudes reading this who agree with the author, you should all stay away from lawyers. Nothing but misery in our direction. Nope, nope, go away. Gone! Byebye!


  57. Wow… I hyperlinked to this blog on a lark, and I truly don’t know who has the smaller penis… the misogynist asshole who posted this blog or the misogyinist losers who agreed (even in jest) with the crap posted.

    Hey, guys… ever think that one of these women may be your mother, sister or daughter he is describing? Do us ALL a favor… get a friggin life, will ya? Better yet, get some help with the Mommy and Daddy issues. Then, meet a nice girl, treat her with respect, and maybe — juuust maybe — you might get laid like the rest of us normal men.

    (No doubt the insults will now be hurled my way, but I am signing off, never visiting this blog again, and hoping that you all get some serious, serious help).


  58. An humorous article about the different women-job-types and I then have to wade through the “oh, yeah, and male artists, too” and the sarcastic lawyer chick’s garbage.

    This isn’t a blog entry meant to open compare/contrast women’s stories. In fact, women shouldn’t comment at all. Hell, all you do is fantasize, read Cosmo/Glamour, and yack ad nauseum to your girlfriends. If you find this blog entry insensitive it’s because you are female. End of story.


  59. on November 1, 2007 at 12:30 am Wow has a vagina.

    Wow is a woman. I know it.


  60. on November 1, 2007 at 12:50 am Michael Richards Residual Racial Hatred

    dude im in law school and have dated/slept with a few law school chicks at this point and let me tell you this post is SPOT ON. they all start out in better, actually rewarding careers but then finally just give up and go to law school cuz its the only way people will think “they arent just another dumb retail sales girl.” whatever. pander to this bullshit sentiment and they will be eating out of your hand. “you’re so intelligent. no, really. and you could do anything you want. seriously, you’re so much more than youre resume says. oh ya ya totally i really think so.”

    fuck that shit.

    but be prepared- these girls will fucking destroy you if they can, so make sure you figure out whether or not they actually can before getting in too deep. LASTLY for people dating lawyers or even law students, these people live in a small small world. in a certain way it is very much like art or even medicine. and once you get a bad name with these insecure freakshows, every single one of them in town will know about it. so if youre in a position where you might need to retain representation at some point, make sure you have a clean and smooth exit strategy.

    Arbeit Macht Frei


  61. on November 1, 2007 at 12:53 am I Agree With "Wow"

    You guys are all fucking idiots. But I don’t really care. You’ll continue thinking the same way about women–and money, and power–and at the end of the day, you’ll pass out, like always, alone in your 500-thread-count sheets.

    Take a year off. Travel OUTSIDE that big city of yours. You only live life once–it’s not too late to stop being an asshole.


  62. I think he is fucking spot-on. I think I know where he went to college b/c he used the term “pomo feminist” which I have never heard outside of Lorain County, Ohio.


  63. So credited on the lawyers


  64. Wow – you rock and are probably the only one posting at this site who IS getting laid. Btw – you forgot President.


  65. Somebody clearly got dumped by a lawyer who was none too impressed by his skillz in the sack.


  66. You left out Female Accountants! CPA’s to be exact. Where do they stand?


  67. This so lame! Americans are so lame! Catergorizing people is boring and a waste of time. Just be happy, yourself, curious and treat people (including your gf/bf) well and you’ll be all right. Essentially, be honest with yourself before being cirtical of others.


  68. By the way, I think your list shows how unimaginative, unadventerous, and limited in your own expereiences you are. What about a translator? What about an international lawyer living in Japan? In Cairo? What about a doctor/surgeon invloved with Doctors Without Borders? Pro-snowboarder? Marine biologist doing work overseas? Corporate attorney wokring at a large firm for a few years just to pay off the 100K student debt? There are a million possiblities and crazy combination of lifestyles. Too bad for you if you only meet bland, ‘typical’ people with no personality. Maybe that’s because you never do anything interesting yourself (and I mean more than taking the occasional oversees trip for a week or two). Professions are really irrelevant.


  69. What about women/ people who hate their job?

    And normally people’s character traits don’t rely on their occupation; their occupation may rest on their character traits though.


  70. I love how you judge a woman’s relationship & sex potential on how conventionally feminine she is. Very mature, my friend.

    Also, “vagina coated in radioactive juices”? How fragile is your masculine ego?


  71. I have noticed that since I changed careers to a more feminine field I have become more feminine. I am female by the way.


  72. Jawdrop. In a single instance, you’ve described the characteristics of my Ex (a blogger) and my fiancée (a scientist). Totally amazing, man.


  73. Except I managed to get a hottie scientist. Sometimes, life just works out that way.


  74. Jinsei, you actually wrote these two sentences next to each other? “Americans are so lame! Catergorizing (sic) people is boring and a waste of time.” LOL!


  75. Three of the sweetest, most innocent girls I know are lawyers and i-bankers. Granted, they’re a minority, but keep an open mind.

    Being a scientist has been good for me because it naturally screens guys to be the ones I click better with — bright guys who are still good to be around when the sexy is turned off.

    The description seems pretty apt: “reserved, taciturn, introspective, shy, and when they put some effort into how they look, cute.” Not chubby, though — yes, it’s a very free-pizza culture, but I enjoy my abs.


  76. “What about women who do manual labor like the welding chick in flashdance?”

    I’m a welder myself, and I’ve known quite a few women who work in industrial trades.

    I wouldn’t date one.

    Theirs is an attenuated composite of a few of these archetypes.

    Many of them try really hard to be “one of the guys”, which is just trouble. A man wants a woman, not a guy with tits and a vagina that has fucked all the other guys, which is quite common. Especially if you work up north in the large industrial camps where women are a huge minority.

    You could probably have a serviceable “friends with benefits” arrangement with one, however it would be short lived.

    Most chicks in industrial trades are either A: “huge sluts with a chip on their shoulder”. or B: intensely hypergamous in a similar fashion to the lawyer. They perceive themselves as equal to most men in their field, thus ironically superior to most men (woman logic, lol). Thus they want the ultimate high status prize among them. Women are dumb.


  77. “Not chubby, though — yes, it’s a very free-pizza culture, but I enjoy my abs.”


    That was intended to describe the extent of the male’s arousal, and thus overall sexual satisfaction with the given subject.

    You know, a “chubby”. As in – barely erect penis.

    It has nothing to do with your waistline you bloody narcissist.


  78. I will say though, in addendum to the query about women who do manual labor.

    Women who are actual laborers are actually quite a bit better relationship-wise than men.

    This in contrast to women who are in trades which require a compulsory certification. Rampant credentialism in society has turned women into status-monsters if you hadn’t noticed.

    However, on most industrial sites when you see female labourers, they rarely if-ever do any “manly” work.

    I’ll bet that’s a huge shock to most of the women out there who thought they would be slinging dirt over their shoulder and carrying heavy loads just like the men.

    Haha, no. Women as usual get a pass, and while the men are slogging it out in the elements usually women are the flag/signperson, on cleaning duty or man/spark-watch.

    However, because they accept this favored treatment which is clearly based on a woman’s inferior capacity to perform the tasks that men typically do. They’re often much more feminine, they accept and embrace the fact that they’re women and willingly opt for the more “domestic” jobs on an industrial site, this owing much to their potential as wives.

    In addition, the fact that they’re willing to endure unfavorable conditions that a construction site on what is essentially the lowest rung on the ladder speaks further volumes about their willingness to adopt such a role in a relationship.

    This is turning into quite a ramble, but I figure it might be interesting for some people to read…

    Anyhow, it may not surprise you to note that more tradeswomen, -especially- welders are perpetually single. Whereas through my experience, the overwhelming majority of female labourers are:

    A: Considerably more attractive (you get a lot of students taking summer jobs as labourers).

    B: Remarkably less bitchy and entitled.


  79. just a note about lawyers….yes, they are quite aggressive. corporate lawyers are less annoying than other types though, and either way, what kind of a pussy can’t handle that?


  80. What about secretaries????


  81. Love it. it’s all right on. I agree with teachers. They are cute and VERY giving.


  82. Yikes! That artist description was scarily accurate!


  83. Shrink who used to be a stripper… liked me to hold onto her shoulders and just give it to her HARD! (Concur on the titanium rod/hide your valuables assessment.)