The Self-Deprecation Nuclear Shit Test

Women have many shit tests and penumbras of shit tests in their hamster arsenal, but none packs a more explosive punch than the self-deprecation shit test, which is like the Tsar Bomba of shit tests. The shock wave from this big baby is enough to send an inexperienced man reeling backwards into stunned silence. Or, worse, obsequious reassurance.

A reader passes along his recent encounter with the Hamsta Bomba of shit tests,

The other day I was hitting on an asian girl (FOB, but culturally American) who is studying English in North America.  I had met her by chance the previous day at a festival and gotten a make out after the festival.

I was escalating and she gave me what I think was a “nuclear shit test” and I didn’t know how to respond.

She said: “I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot.  There are way better looking girls you should be going after.”  Indeed, she is not that hot.  A solid 6 but no more.  She was implying that because I was hitting on her, I must not be able to get with the hotter girls, so I’m a loser.

I demurred, and said that “I liked her smile.”  But I did not have a witty rejoinder to her shit test.

What should I have said?

(For the record, I regularly hook up with 8s, but I was going after this 6 because I was in town for a couple days only and wanted an easy lay.  I ended up getting a BJ from her).

This question of how to deactivate the fission cascade on the self-deprecation nuclear shit test has been answered before at the Chateau. And the conclusion from that post is that your best options are to either

a. ignore her and change the subject, or

b. reframe so that she gets put into the defensive crouch.

The reframe that is most popular among the coituscenti is the classic “Have you always been this vain?” This is the black hole to the nuclear shit test, sucking the atomic life and energy right out of her beta boob bait.

Another good reply: “Oh god, you’re not that kind of girl who’s always comparing herself to other girls, are you?!”

Defensive crouches are where gina tingles are born.

The absolute worst reply you could give — and one which is the equivalent of chomping down on stinky chum and getting hooked into the boat — is to reassure her that she’s pretty. Your logical male mind thinks this is the answer she wants, but if you say it you’ll soon discover the air escaping from any sexual tension that had been building. Women interpret male reassurance as male desperation to keep the momentum moving toward sex. This is why disarming shit tests is such a valuable game skill to have; by refusing to play into her “oh no, another boring beta male” expectations, you, as a man, decrease the likelihood that she’ll concoct a reason to short-circuit the seduction process.


  1. What is she answers, “yeah” to the always been vain question? A HB 8.5 gave me that reply and I just grimaced or smirked…there were other issues involved so I can’t analyze on its own due to hyper leftoid entitlement on her part… chick and all…


    • on August 6, 2013 at 1:13 pm checked out beta

      lawyer fem cunt? zlzozlzlz


      • Close enough for rock n roll, she did have a tell that she thought I was smarter than she was but I couldn’t parlay both……


      • on August 6, 2013 at 2:00 pm Zombie Shane

        > “I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot. There are way better looking girls you should be going after.”

        Did she really say the word, “bang”?

        Because once the ugly stuff comes out of a bitch’s mouth, I just can’t get it up anymore.

        The little fellow retreats and curls up inside of me and won’t come back out.

        It’s such a huge emotional and intellectual and spiritual letdown for me when I hear the Dark talk from a whore.

        Me, when she said that, I probably would have stepped back, looked at her quizzically, and said, “Oh, you’re one of those chicks.”

        And then walked away.


      • you have so many rules!


      • on August 6, 2013 at 4:08 pm Zombie Shane

        I just can’t get it up for a chick once I hear a word like “f*ck”, “f*rt”, or “sh*t” come out of her mouth.


        Ugly vulgar pedestrian language like that gives me an incurable case of the Bob Doles:

        I need at least a smidgen of class and elegance in my bitches.



      • having a woman scream “fuck the shit out of me!!!” whilst fucking the shit out of her is a sublime experience. you should try it… you might just like it. 🙂


      • on August 6, 2013 at 4:35 pm Zombie Shane

        > “fuck the shit out of me!!!”

        That sound like the sort of thing that an Andrew Sullivan would scream to the n*gger who was mounting him from behind.


        Not my cup of tea.


      • uh, that’s a terrible image. why on earth would what i wrote make you think of something like that?


      • on August 6, 2013 at 7:57 pm Zombie Shane

        I dunno – maybe because “Fuck the shit out of me!” is the way that fags talk?

        Was that a trick question?

        My womynz say stuff like, “Oh my God, I’m coming, I’m coming, Oh no, I can’t do it again, no, please don’t make me come again, please stop, Oh My God, Oh My God…”

        Etc etc etc more or less ad infinitum.


      • pwnt


      • Maybe only sexy young women use the phrase. In any event, I will defer to your superior knowledge on fags and the way they talk. I must confess that I’m not well versed on either subject.


      • yeahokcool writes, “having a woman scream “fuck the shit out of me!!!” whilst fucking the shit out of her is a sublime experience. you should try it…”

        I like the idea of a chick saying that, but actually fucking the shit out of her? Doesn’t that smell? I love giving hot chicks analingus, but actually having shit fucked out of them seems to be taking a bit too far. I dunno; maybe its because I have nice sheets.


      • @DirkJohanson. good question. i didn’t realize that the phrase “fuck the shit out of me” would be taken literally. you shouldn’t do so. as far as i know and have heard it, it is just dirty talk during (vaginal) intercourse.


      • Maybe Zombie would like to hear “Fuck my brains out” to counter balance f-bomb part.


      • lol @ Daemonized. BRAIIIIINNNNNNSSSSS!


      • lol sex talk worthy of the Cleavers. You can keep it.


      • I agree with ZS. A girl that swears. Its not exactly feminine is it.


      • Zombie Shane should probably just cum out of the closet and admit he loves cock in and around his mouth and anus.


      • on August 6, 2013 at 7:58 pm Zombie Shane

        That was so lame it made me laugh out loud.


      • A “good girl” that you wouldn’t believe capable of screaming “fuck the shit out of me!!!” is even more sublime.


      • I don’t know. I’m pretty masculine for a woman, and I don’t curse during sex even though I’m very aggressive. Yet other women tell me that is the time they curse a lot.

        It probably is a very feminine thing to do, and maybe a guy who’s against it may prefer at least somewhat manly women if not men.

        Not saying he’s Gay, but it is kind of a dude thing to get into this zone wherein there are no words for what one is feeling. If at all, the words would be romantic, flattering, or about how great one is feeling at the moment.


    • The right reply might well be no reply (at least, nothing verbal). An amused chuckle & redoubled aggression, perhaps.


      • Amused chuckle is becoming my response to various things. I don’t know if I’m just finding things humorous in a sardonic way more and more or what. Maybe a condescending “aw it’s okay” and a pat on the head after the chuckle, being truly amused of course.


      • Laughing at girls is a great all around response to shit tests.


    • What is she answers, “yeah” to the always been vain question?

      “Wow. Guess you were every pedophiles dream”


    • on August 6, 2013 at 4:58 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)


      hey dalrocksz dalrocksz dalrockazz!!!!!

      good news!

      she’s reaidng the great books for menz!!

      Nikon D800E Photos of Pretty Swimsuit Bikini Model Goddess with Long Black Hair & White Porcelain Skin!

      that’s homer on the far righztz!!

      i wonder what univeirsty (or churchz) this is ? lzlzozozozlzz


      • on August 6, 2013 at 6:41 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        dude she’s reaidngs hakeesperare SHAKEPEARESZ!!!

        Canon 5D Mark II Photos of Beautiful Brunette Swimsuit Bikini Model Goddess! Pretty Green Eyes!

        where is dids island of apradisezlzlzlz?


      • on August 7, 2013 at 8:28 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)


        “Alan J. Perrick says:
        August 6, 2013 at 11:33 pm

        Thank you for posting that! Here’s one for Mr. Herman Melville’s Moby Dick.

        By the way, you gotta wonder if all the revolver gun prints on the front of the bikini bottoms are supposed to imply penis envy


        @Alan J. Perrick Cool! Aweosmefestz!!! Da GREAT BOOKSZ FOR MENZ RIDE AGAINZZZ!!! I LUVZ ME SOME MOBY DICKZ!!!!

        lzozozz o da girl on da right herez has a golden sword or cross on her swimsusitsz!!! da girl goddessess!!
        Nikon D800 Photos of Twin Sister Bikini Swimsuit Model Goddesses

        when i zoomezd inz methinkz it resmebeledz da braveheart swordz zlzlzozooz
        Nikon D800 Photos of Twin Sister Bikini Swimsuit Model Goddesses

        i found and zoomed in on the golden gun and read it!!!

        Nikon D800E Photos Tall, Pretty Asian Swimsuit Bikini Model Goddess
        Nikon D800E Photos Tall, Pretty Asian Swimsuit Bikini Model Goddess

        along the barrellz of the gold gun i can make out just barelyez:

        ” Tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito” which comes from Virgil’s Aeneid, Book VI; the motto means “do not give in to evil but proceed ever more boldly against it.”

        Dis is the slogan of the MISES INSTIUTE for LUDWIF VON MISES on his crest!!
        Motto Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito
        Latin: Do not give in to evil but proceed ever more boldly against it

        lzozozozoozzlzolozzlzo wot can it alala all meanz all dese goddesees goddessez goodddesssesz? zlozozozoz


    • on August 7, 2013 at 1:12 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)


      She said: “I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot. There are way better looking girls you should be going after.”

      GBFM: Well, have you ever been to the Four Seasons? You know how when you walk into the restroom there is porcelain and gold all over the place and the flush handles are ornate with diamonds and rubies on them? After you relieve yourself, a man in a tux standing by the ornate sinks hands you soap to wash your hands and a little towel to dry your hands. Well, that’s all fine and good, but have you ever been driving down the highway and needing to go so bad that you’re almost tempted to pull over despite there being no shoulder? Finally you arrive and an exit, and there’s a little dingy gas station where the bathroom hasn’t been washed for years. It stinks to high heaven as the broken light flickers, but man, don’t it feel good to pee!

      Well, see, you’re right–I much prefer the Four Seasons restrooms–the girls I usually bang. But now and then a worn-out, dirty, stinky, dark bathroom feels just as good, if not better. And tonight, you’re that worn-out, dirty, stinky, dark bathroom. So let’s go!

      –swoosh every time by da GBFM zllzlzozlzlozolzlozolzozo


      • While CH has addressed ‘ignore’ and ‘reframe’, it has failed to come up with an ‘agree and amplify’, which I myself was thinking of coming up with. Difficult to achieve, as you would be agreeing to ‘lowering your standards’. But as always, the genius that is GBFM has provided. Notice how he used the toilet analogy, and in referring to ‘driving down the highway’, refrained from saying, ‘sometimes you are driving, and find yourself stuck without a toilet in sight, for miles on end’ ie beggars cant choose, and went straight to comparing her to a dirty toilet.

        The exact nature of her shit test is known only to the person present, but if she was bitchy, and you could sense she knew what she was doing(testing you), then her shit test was actually an insult. And an insult begets a soul-crushing destruction


      • Beyond The Valley Of The D(r)olls… the title of the next GBFM’s Greatest Hits collection.


      • I want to write the introduction.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. “I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot. There are way better looking girls you should be going after.”

    If she’s hot, “Who says I’m trying to?” then makeout.
    If she’s not, run.


    • on August 6, 2013 at 2:58 pm Harry Morgan

      Nope. I see the intuitive appeal but this is a too-obvious attempt to backpeddle; she already knows you are trying to fuck her, and will detect that response as evidence that you are trying to deflect that, but poorly.

      It’s better than trying to assure her that she’s actually cute, but it will instead come off as try-hard. The CH responses work because they side-step the question and re-frame the conversation. And they can be stacked:

      Her: blah blah blah why are you trying to bang me blah blah?

      You: Have you always been so vain?

      Her: Yeah blah blah.

      You: Oh great, are you another one of those girls who’s constantly comparing herself to every girl in the room?

      She might keep trying to triple-down on the shit test, but it’s unlikely.


      • A. I am not trying to hide the desire. I say go for the kiss concurrently as you say “who says I want to bang you?”

        B. It’s not a deflection let alone a poor one. Nor is this an attempt to back peddle. It’s sarcasm, pure and untainted. Because I escalate while I am saying this.

        C. I have actually used it a couple of times I was presented with this shit test. Worked extremely well. Both women were gorgeous, though, and they knew it. And I had been very direct in my escalation… like I always am.

        Maybe this won’t work on uglier girls.


  3. “I’m full of surprises.”


  4. “She was implying that because I was hitting on her, I must not be able to get with the hotter girls, so I’m a loser.”

    I may be wrong but I don’t think she was implying this. I think she was just looking to be told she is so beautiful. She wanted reassurance.


    • No. Women are not logical creatures in sexual matters.


      • Sorry, but do you know women better than women do ? Sure women don’t always say what they really mean, but most of the red pill women here and on similar MRA blogs say it as it is. Yes, if the woman knows she is not very attractive she will say this shit to get compliments. Hell, even the ones who know they are attractive say this shit too. I have had to try to stop myself from pulling this stunt but my BF knows me too well and knows how to neg me on it.


      • Sorry, but do you know women better than women do?



      • Hey man, didn’t you read? She has a boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend.


    • In this case she could be right. She’s a 6 being hit on by someone attractive enough to pull 8s and she actually might be a little insecure. I’m not saying you fawn over her but I’d be careful with hard negs.


    • on August 6, 2013 at 3:00 pm Harry Morgan

      But if she gets the assurance she doesn’t need the dude, she already got what she finds psychologically validating from him, and will find herself less attracted to him after.


      • No big reassurances, I’m just suggesting you might want to use the softer negs. Someone below suggested he say “you’re right, it’s a pity f*ck”, which is hilarious but risky on a 6. It’s too rough. You’d want to use that on the 8-10s. They know they’re hot so it will just make them laugh. (Unless they’re really dimwitted). The “fishing for compliments, huh?” type neg is safer I think.


      • If you’re a good-looking guy though you have to be careful with negs, even with 8+ because they can be low self-esteem too. The problem I had was besides being pretty good-looking I took 8s aloofness at face value rather than seeing it as a protective shield against appearing too attracted to me, so I would move in with neg delivered with deadpan alphaness that would only make them withdraw more (and I had nothing to follow up with).


      • That is a reasonable assumption, since most women don’t seem to have the self esteem to believe they can get some men who are good looking, charming, semi famous and rich. They just won’t believe they can get him, and so unless they are DTF once or thrice, they simply blow you off.


      • Actually having an attractive dude wanting to bang her and actually banging her IS the validation. For a bloke who is not attractive or whom she thinks she is “better” than, then yes she only needs the compliment not the banging part. Don’t MRA/PUA sites keep going on about how ALL women (even the unattractive ones) want sex from the alphas for validation and qualification to other men ?


      • “Don’t MRA/PUA sites keep going on about how ALL women (even the unattractive ones) want sex from the alphas for validation and qualification to other men ?”

        A man who’s fucking uglier girls than he should be fucking isn’t alpha. So unless he qualifies her on something so she thinks he legit wants to fuck her for reasons beyond “I have a pussy and he thinks I’m an easy lay”, she will think “and he can’t do better than me so he isn’t confident which means he isn’t an alpha which means his validation is worthless which means I’m not attracted which means no sex.”

        It’s like winning the lottery, but the lottery prize is 25 cents. You still might collect it, but you won’t feel like you “won the lottery”.

        “Sorry, but do you know women better than women do?”



      • on August 7, 2013 at 9:44 am FuriousFerret

        “A man who’s fucking uglier girls than he should be fucking isn’t alpha.”

        I notice that in life. When a person should be a guy with confidence and has the outside credentials of someone that should behave in an alpha demeanor and doesn’t, then that guy is going to be in for some trouble.

        It’s taken as a sign of weakness and the little weasels will move in for the kill to receive their tidbits of social success. Hardcore nerds seem to be the worst offenders of striking while someone’s belly is exposed. The worst move in the world is try to relate to geeks/nerds and bring yourself down to their level when you don’t belong there. Have them relate to you instead.

        People want their Kings to be above them simply because most people don’t respect themselves. It’s the old Grouch Marx saying ‘I wouldn’t want to join a club that has me as a member’. Most guys are followers looking to latch onto a leader to bask in the overflow of the king’s spoils. The strong shouldn’t feign being one of the weak to try to relate since the weak will use it as an opportunity/punishment to grab for their little scraps.

        People should rise to the upmost level that they can and if you’re seen as obviously not living up to your potential, people see this as a major character flaw and act accordingly. That’s why you can see an average looking guy with average intelligent that owns himself and uses his natural potential as being far more socially successful than a tall decent looking smart guy that is has just enough looks to be down about not looking better.

        TL:DR : Self deprecation is one of man’s worst enemies.


      • Exactly.

        “I notice that in life. When a person should be a guy with confidence and has the outside credentials of someone that should behave in an alpha demeanor and doesn’t, then that guy is going to be in for some trouble.”

        This is exactly why, when a girl sees a super studly good-looking ripped 6’4″ rich guy, if he turns out to be beta (hovering and hesitating to approach her, is interacting with her but supplicates to her or otherwise betas himself), she’s even MORE annoyed/frustrated than if the short ugly guy who betas…because she didn’t expect the short ugly guy to be alpha anyway, but she expected the tall good-looking rich guy to be a super alpha and he disappointed her.

        Again this comes back to how looks/money/etc are just easy/obvious external indicators that the person likely has attractive qualities (dominance, confidence, social power, etc) but it’s not a guarantee…the exact same way a girl in a slutty dress is an easy/obvious external indicator that she should be a good fuck, but it’s not a guarantee.

        And of course this whole thing works in reverse to benefit the short/ugly/poor/etc guy…because the expectations are set low for him and actually set AGAINST him in that girls would actively expect him to NOT have alpha attributes, so when he displays ANY amount of alpha attributes, they’re magnified. And if he’s legit super alpha, exceeding his presumed potential, he’ll do better with women than a better looking or richer guy who’s not living up to his potential.


      • Be careful what you wish for, though. On the one hand, the 6.5 I see every now and again seems to be fairly realistic in her appraisal of me (lol maybe she has more experience getting PD’d by dudes, who knows). So it sucks because it demonstrates how much work I still need to do — I’d never get into an LTR with this chick.

        On the other hand, the 7 is starting to put obnoxious amounts of faith into me. At first it’s kinda cool when someone thinks you’re the shit. It’s very addictive. However, because she has such a high opinion of me, she just believes things about me that, at this point at least, are untrue. I just feel pressure to deliver on these expectations —- that I have friends everywhere I go, that tons of girls like me, that I’m good at everything, etc. etc. etc. It’s kind of stressful lol srs.


      • @Scray
        “However, because she has such a high opinion of me, she just believes things about me that, at this point at least, are untrue. I just feel pressure to deliver on these expectations —- that I have friends everywhere I go, that tons of girls like me, that I’m good at everything, etc. etc. etc. It’s kind of stressful lol srs.”

        When YOU have as high an opinion of yourself as she does, it won’t stress you out…because you’ll fully believe those things about yourself, whether they’re true or not. Most of my natural alpha buddies fully believe they’re the best at everything ever in the universe…they’re not stressed out by a girl having high expectations of them because their internal game is on lockdown and they fully believe that they already surpass all her expectations because they’re so awesome.

        We call it a “delusional sense of confidence”. It’ll come with time and reference experiences, don’t worry. 🙂


      • YaReally because she didn’t expect the short ugly guy to be alpha anyway, but she expected the tall good-looking rich guy to be a super alpha and he disappointed her.

        I actually had a girl tell me that once (not that I’m tall or rich). I’d seen her checking me out before and then one night I got kicked out of the club for getting into a fight and she saw it happen and came out after me. (My friend accused this guy who looked like “Jesus,” lol, of kicking him in the balls so I clocked Jesus in full of view of the bouncer and was promptly escorted out.) She invited me back to her house and my friend drove us there. I was kind of in a daze that it was all happening, because I thought she was seriously hot – at that point definitely the hottest girl I’d had. I could tell I was acting hesitantly when we got to her house, but I couldn’t help myself. Nonetheless, we still had sex. I was going to sleep over but I woke up a few hours later and got my friend to pick me up. I didn’t see her again for months. When I did, she was friendly but kept me at a distance. I brought up that night. Her words were: “You were… disappointing.” I kinda knew that I must have been but it was still a kick in the guts to hear it said to my face.


      • on August 7, 2013 at 11:47 am StickingPoint

        A question about approaching in the daytime. Is it best to approach a shy reserved girl , say a HB6-8, with a more assertive direct approach or come at her in an indirect friendly way?


      • Depends upon the situation. Indirect is always best since covert approaches are more fun, and also create an aura of mysteriousness. So if you are going to be seeing her repeatedly, go covert and indirect.

        But if it’s a once in a lifetime shot… like you see her on the street and will never see her again, then go direct. Well, just the opener’s direct. Then you number close, and become mysterious on the date… just like you’d be with the girl who you see repeatedly.


      • on August 7, 2013 at 6:22 pm StickingPoint

        YaReally, any advice? I tend to attract more assertive girls but I like the shy cute type. What’s the best way to approach in daytime?


      • That should be a guy who is shagging uglier, taller, shorter, fatter, skinner, whatever girls than he wants to be shagging is not alpha.

        Any manner of bottomfeeding is bad, and that includes feeding on what other people but not one’s self deem “hot”.

        Many women who are considered media hot, who the average socially dependent beta would give his left nut for, a less socially dependent guy with a more natural eye would lose his lunch at the thought of, or at least not want to put much effort or investment into.

        Before anyone jumps on this, I’m not saying alphas are always deviant, just that they have a different set of options than the average guy. Having more choices and exercising them doesn’t make someone less alpha.

        However, getting caught having made an unpopular choice can cause someone to fall from public grace. This should be kept in mind by any alpha with high aspirations. You need to choose a companion who represents the ideals of your followers. As you are their father figure, she is their mother figure, but unlike you, her looks rather than her personality make her image and yours.

        So you have to make some sacrifices if your tastes aren’t in line with the masses.


  5. The “have you always been this vain/shallow?” reply also works when the girl gives herself a physical compliment, a hidden shit test where she is expecting you to agree with her.


  6. “I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot. There are way better looking girls you should be going after.”

    Should have said, “You’re right” and walked away. She would have chased or you could playfully walk a distance and come back. Or could have said, “Wow, you’re right, you asians really are smart”


  7. no hate on the Sith Lord of game CH but:

    1) regularly hook up with 8s
    2) seek shit-test advice on a 6

    Choose one.


    • Yeah I figured that went without saying. But, the guy wanted an answer for a particular situation, so I obliged.


    • +3 bajillion.

      If you really are the type of dude who can regularly hook up with -legit- 8’s….how the shit would you ever even need advice on this?

      I’m telling you, The scale is truth willfully ignored.

      If I was regularly banging 8’s, who gives a shit what I would say:

      “Ya, thanks for bringing that up. I’m actually auditioning you to be a sex coach. You’d be in the bedroom like John Madden, with your little marker, pointing out all of my plays and tactics — then you’d show me the video afterwards and tell me how I could improve.”

      “Thanks Mom.”

      “Now that you realize how lucky you are, maybe you can buy me a drink.”

      “My dick’s too small and precious for the likes of them.”

      “I agree. See what happens when you fish for compliments?”

      “Don’t sell yourself short — you look way more flexible than them.”

      “Who says I haven’t already banged them all? I prefer working my way down, rather than up.”

      “Well……you looked like you’d be into anal.” (Ya WHO GIVES A SHIT PLAYBOY BANGING 8’S ON THE REG)


      • I doubt he’s looking for advice so much as he is relating an amusing anomaly that threw him for a loop for four seconds.

        “I’m surprised you think that way about yourself. I can see a girl’s inner beauty fighting to get out. But that’s just me.”


      • Pursuing the skepticism any further than a few lines is unhealthy anyway; who cares? More fun to contribute.

        “Makes you wonder what they all know that you don’t, right?”

        “It’s classified — I could tell you, but then I’d have to fuck you.”

        “They’re all lesbians, actually. At least that’s what they told me. Just my luck, eh?”

        “I told myself that I’d disappoint the first girl I saw tonight, and by golly I’m sticking to it.”


      • Oh, I completely missed that she was Asian:

        “Ya, well I’m looking for a Tiger Mom in the bedroom. Two birds with one stone — furry and parent fetish. You’re welcome.”


  8. Per CH advice back then, I’ve used the “have you always been this vain” line on an older senior woman I worked with. That line really works.


  9. I would have said, while squinting my eyes, as if to look closer at her, “you know, you’re right; it’s probably time I got to the eye doctor.”


  10. >>>What should I have said?

    “This is a charity fuck. It’s a tax write-off.”


  11. Call it out for what it is: “Wow, fishing hard for a compliment today, aren’t you?” ….


  12. Haaaaaa. I don’t consider it a “nuclear shit test” either, but rather an admission that he’s out of her league. If he usually hangs with 8s, why is he trying to get with a 6 anyway, unless he’s drunk?


    • A “shit test” probes whether you’re good enough for her by asking that you step up. This was more of a defensive “test” that the guy actually liked her, rather than saw her as merely a worthless slut. And there wasn’t anything really “nuclear” about it. A simple “I’ll take that as a compliment” would have been sufficient and then just move on.


  13. Or: “Yeah, but I’m really drunk right now”….


  14. Just wanted to share this b/c I think it highlights most game principles. My buddy posted a picture on Facebook with the headline “photobomb like a champ or don’t photobomb at all” The picture is 3 attractive girls sitting on a couch at a club, with him in the background showing his bare ass.


    • The pic is absolutely hilarious, wish I could post it


    • Except the three atrtractive girls are his mom and his two aunts. Puts a bit of a different spin on the whole thing. But I’d still like to see it…


  15. on August 6, 2013 at 1:57 pm Arduous Funk

    “Oh,crap! You’re right!”


  16. I got a related test last night, went the complete opposite direction direction, and got a bang.

    Last week I met a Venezuelan 6 at a bar, got some compliance, and got the number, but I had to leave to meet up with some friends, so I couldn’t set up the bang.

    Last night I went to an awesome concert and was walking to the after-party when I texted her to come. She quickly obliged, spending all of her money on a taxi to get there. Immediately we’re making out. I bounce her to another bar, get a few drinks, more make out, playing with her tits, slapping her ass. (Not strong game, I know. I should definitely keep more tension here, but I go for the short term pleasure.)

    My logistics were impossible, so I went back to the other side of town to her place, where her friend who doesn’t live there had hung out in her room all night waiting for her to get home. I sat silently in the corner, deciding I would just wait until the friend left. (Normally perseverance is a weakness of mine, but I had my mind made up.)

    The friend left.

    We’re on the bed. Foreplay is going well, and I try to fuck her. She asks if I have a condom. I grab one.

    Final LMR: “All week you have teased me. Now you want to fuck me. Tell me what you like about me.”

    While I agree with Heartiste about how to handle the shit test in the post, I think this demand was sufficiently different and because of where we were and what had already transpired, the right play was to cave.

    “I like that you are adventurous.”

    “No, physically.”

    “I like your face. I will cum on it.”


    “You have nice legs. You have a cute butt. Your hair is so soft. I like your freckles.”

    At this point, I just start listing every body part and giving each some serious-sounding compliment. Took 5 or so over 30 seconds before she let me in.

    I think I handled the situation, which was similar to this post’s but also quite different, correctly. What do you think?


    • i think you’re lucky i’m a peaceful level-headed guy who doesn’t get homocidal when a guy gropes my whore of a girlfriend, brah!

      if i had my sword that night i woulda ran you through.


    • Interestin shit test. Thanks for sharing: these shit tests fascinate me because I’m only beginning to understand how to handle them. I am beginning to adopt a fun attitude towards them. In this case what immediately came to mind: “Tell me what you like about me.”
      Me: “your command of quantum physics”
      Her: “I don’t know physics”
      Me: “Really? We’re done then….” and turn away to go and she will hit you or do something else and you can smack her ass


    • Latin women (legitimate foreigners, that is) like compliments. They aren’t as cynical as American girls. They want some romance and sincerity, so the occasional compliment is fine. They don’t want to feel used sexually, so they want to believe that you like them enough for a longer commitment.


  17. “I like pizza.”

    She will go something like “huh”.

    “I bet you are one of those people who spend 20 minutes arguing about toppings “


    • Think I might want to experiment with something similar to this, it sound amusing enough. This works out? You need to keep a fun vibe going through it all?


  18. Were I to be in the situation, I think I would have said a very curt and wry “Agreed!”, then got up, turned and walked away and basically ignored her (except for a “you can afford the subway/taxi” if she ran after me).

    This isn’t even difficult. If your limbic system isn’t so lit up it is blinding you, you know what she wants to hear. That is all you need to pause long enough to understand. Then say something completely NOT what she wants to hear, off at any angle greater than 90 degrees.

    For the earlier example where an ex boyfriend grabbed the girl’s tits and she didn’t object, I would have quietly left my portion of any accumulated bill and gone and saw a movie (shutting off my phone and forgetting to turn it on until the next morning). Then the only response would be something to the that I’m happy you two were reunited.

    A stock that is a loser, but an investor doesn’t want to sell hoping it will come back, will likely lead to greater losses. Good money (or effort) after bad. A portfolio of women ought to be similarly culled

    Women should be treated similarly. MAD women (from Chaillot or elsewhere) who go nuclear should be treated to mutually assured destruction.

    Of course if she has a sufficiently high value, and begs, pleads, and does sufficient acts of supplication, one may consider condescending and allowing her to try for your favor again.


  19. “I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot. There are way better looking girls you should be going after.”

    But baby… you… so horny… so, so horny… you… so horny, you love me long time!

    (dance accompaniment optional)

    Too easy.


    • P.S. Only works on Orientals.


      • Like

      • Alas, yet another jest fallen flat.

        But I truly did enjoy your anecdote below about two 30-something lawyers conferring on what to text a 30 year old bar babe.


      • i’m in my late 20s. my friends ask for advice about women. i give it to them.

        in fact, it is very similar to posting about it on a message board, but, you know, actually doing it IRL as well.

        thanks for providing further proof that you’re a shut-in.


      • Allegedly grown men plotting on what to text some near-the-wall American bitchy cougar in the hope of getting a piece of ass, eh?

        Thanks for providing absolute proof of your sustained adolescence.

        As far as me being a shut-in, I hope your powers of discernment in re your shystering career are more accurate than your Cyberian outhouse psychology.


      • as per usual, you lob of an attempt at a witty retort rather than answering the question at hand. i just don’t understand how you’re not grasping that you’re insulting me for doing in real life what the host of this website has done since circa 2007. why, again, are you here?


      • In fairness to Mr. Eliot, doesn’t he also double as editor The American White Man’s Weekly?


        For the record, it’s bi-monthly… there weren’t enough American White Men to sustain weekly publication. 😉


      • actually, on further reflection, i want to mock you some more.

        what do you talk to your friends (assuming, arguendo, that you have friends) about? do you keep your topics exclusively to the hard-hitting issues that are impacting WN in this day and age? don’t you ever talk about what you ate for lunch or what girls you find attractive? i do. i talk about lots of different topics. some are more “important” than others, but, well, i get plenty of “importance” through my work and almost all i do is work. do you work, greg? i’m genuinely curious. i get the distinct impression that you are on disability of some sort.

        maybe you’re mocking me because texting is stupid. i’ve seens lots of you old guys write similar remarks throughout the years. i don’t know a single successful person who doesn’t text or email. i know a 90 year old lawyer that texts and emails. you know why? because that’s what life requires for the engaged. now, i can’t speak for what life requires of the disengaged… perhaps you’d like to weigh in…


      • and, by way of contrast, i also know a VERY wealthy pig farmer in his late 60s that didn’t graduate from high school. for whatever reason he likes to text me about the work i do for him… probably because he is busy and taking a principled stand against texting would cost him time and money.


      • do you keep your topics exclusively to the hard-hitting issues that are impacting WN in this day and age?

        In fairness to Mr. Eliot, doesn’t he also double as editor The American White Man’s Weekly? So in his case it comes with the territory.

        Just kidding, Greg. If we can’t laugh at the end of the world what can we laugh at? Don’t make Khomeini’s mistake: “There is no humor in Islam.” Not much in WN either. That needs to change.


      • Geez, I must have really hit a nerve, kid.

        By the time I was in my late twenties, I already had two kids of my own, a third on the way, and a high five-figure STEM position with a Fortune 100 company.

        You fucking child.


      • Post-swallowing forum software strikes again, sigh.

        It ain’t an issue of texting, per se, Clarence Darrow…

        It’s the funny-in-a-pathetic-way image of two (ahem) men plotting over how to text a 30 year old somewhat bitchy bar babe… in the hopes of getting a piece of what, no doubt, has been heretofore distributed somewhat freely, without the Byzantine strategic intrigue.

        As you said: …


      • Nice try on the Greg Elliot takedown,yeahokcool,but face it,until Greg posts a query along the lines of,”Im a divorced 50 something,how do I handle a shit test from a Puerto Rican stripper…”,he is pretty much bullet proof. I aint gonna call you a fairy because I have done too much ass kissing already,but just had to weigh in I found this b&f amusing!!


      • he’s a cipher!


      • Tip o’ the cap there, brother OC… thanks for having my back.


      • Now… about that Puerto Rican stripper…



      • i’m should be surprised – but i’m not – that you’re taking it as a compliment, greg.

        consider the practical implications of OC’s comment.

        to wit, you haven’t contributed ANYTHING to the dialogue here other than lousy puns and your WN dreams. i understand that this space isn’t dedicated exclusively to “game,” but you appear to have absolutely no interest in or connection to game. when people make comments about game or how to execute game, you attempt to mock them as “fairies” and “adolescents.”

        it seems to me that you care more about your “bros” here than women and having sex with women. and to that, i only have one thing to say: you fairy.


      • Wha? Now you’re stealing my “You fairy?” (or should I say, my homage to Mamet).

        Look, chum… I was never a “hole is the goal” sort of fellow, and in my younger years of admitted naivete’ in re chivalry, I actually turned down a lot of potential lays, many from some gals that most would consider “hot”, by standards then and now… but I always went more for the down-home types, not the glamour dolls. A preference which had held fast to this day… along with a modicum of chivalry towards the women that display merit, with myself often giving the benefit of the doubt in meat world.

        So, I find a lot of this “game” quite interesting and solid when it comes to the LTR “sustaining interest”, ‘though much of it I find obvious and always-came-natural… some of the Byzantine ploys puzzle me, for I always found it quite easy merely to get laid, if that’s what one is looking for… and not just from unattractive women and bar sluts, neither,.

        But I view you self-styled Lochinvars of the bedroom the way a rhino views a Jeep (too ancient a reference?)…

        In short, when you mess with me on this forum, you get the horn… and my horn is invariably sharper than the sound-but-no-fury horn that you driving-from-the-safety-of-your-keyboard snarkers attempt.


      • lol i give you 9 out of 10 internet toughguys. for that last point, include more overt threats to physical violence.


      • That last “my horn is sharper” was meant more about my ability to bandy mocks and come out ahead, since, as you noted, we’re in Cyberia, and it’s the only “tough guy” that can show.

        The reason many of us are only eToughGuys is because in meat world other guys don’t seem to give us the quick snark evinced on a ‘net forum… and are, indeed, far more deferential in the flesh.


      • 5/10


      • A propos, a 5/10-witted return volley.


      • But I view you self-styled Lochinvars of the bedroom the way a rhino views a Jeep (too ancient a reference?)…

        “The Gods Must Be Crazy”?


      • Hatari!

        Geez, what are they teaching you kids in school nowadays?


      • Hatari!

        You were right, too ancient a reference. Not that that’s a bad thing. More please.

        (As I now recall the rhino in Gods Must Be Crazy ran to stamp out campfires.)


  20. on August 6, 2013 at 2:21 pm Diogenes the Cynic

    “I don’t work for a living, I’m a ‘non-profit’ kind of guy.


  21. I get a variation of this a lot: to wit: “you don’t really love me” or “I never thought I could ever get someone like you”. (My ex-wife’s preferred form of torture.) Evidently I’m not lovey-dovey enough, or they are shivering in anticipation of being dumped, or … something. Shit gives me a headache.

    The current flame’s favorite is “I didn’t think you’d want to see me again.” She says this two or three times a week because I’m not using the texting GPS home confinement electronic leash (I loathe texting) she wants to strap to my ankle. Of course, my first impulse is to reassure her, being a former Good Man and all, but I’ve found opening a bottle of rye and reading Heartiste to be more productive. (Then, having taken several deep breaths, I ignore her and offer no response.) Later she sends me nudey pics or something and asks me why I didn’t reassure her. I say something like “I have no idea what that’s about, but you do it a lot. I’m getting whiplash.” Want weird? The un-self-aware female doing this is a *shrink*. Who’s the patient here?

    I view the “I have no idea what you were saying so I ignored it and my neck really hurts from this guard rail to guard rail action” as a kind of classic, Japanese culture non-denial denial: a comment seemingly related but absolutely devoid of the content she seeks, which is either a) I’m going to supplicate; or b) present some magic unicorn rhetorical solution to her distress. I’m doing a little CBT on this repetitive process now, and just telling myself “Good. Say nothing and tomorrow you’ll get a Skype video message with lots of girly parts to study over breakfast.”

    To me it’s a little like deal-making in business. I try to push the customers away a time or two, because it seems to be necessary to establish the limits of their manipulations, which means we’re going to contract. Nothing closes until you prove you’ll walk away. But I dislike being a prick just to pop their dilatory bubbles.


    I also found it a little odd that your correspondent was a slayer of 8’s but perplexed with his 6. But he presents


    • Want weird? The un-self-aware female doing this is a *shrink*. Who’s the patient here?

      i thought it was common knowledge that pretty much all shrinks/psychologists,psychiatrists are head cases themselves.


      • This… I also heard they have the highest suicide rates among any profession, although that info may be dated.

        The Cathedral excuse was that they hear so many peoples’ problems, it eventually takes its toll.

        Of course, that’s usual suspect bs, because priests have one of the lowest rates of suicide.


      • They choose the profession because they want to give these poor, sad, innocent sufferers the help they never got themselves. Most of them are narcissists, in the clinical, not the mythological, sense. Scratch them and the crazy pops out likes snakes from a can.

        I have known two men in this trade who weren’t head cases. My father trained as a marriage and family therapist when I was in high school. He wanted to help people the way his sisters had never been helped. He’s a classic white knight, but not a narcissist. At one time he was working in a practice headed by the other relatively sane therapist. Sane Man #2 decided to leave the profession for a career doing something much more interesting. He gave all of the tenants of the practice several months notice and tried to encourage a collective buy out so that the transition could go smoothly.

        Nope. The nuts immediately began squabbling and recriminating. Raiding, copying, and distributing case files. Two or three of the saner ones merely bailed quietly. The rest threw tantrums, destroyed friendships, and left Sane Man 2 with no practice and a lease.


  22. I entered this ‘catch all’ word in a CH contest long ago for replies that can be applied in many, many circumstances (I think ‘gay’ or ‘bring the movies’ or ‘didn’t want to get you pregnant’ won). My entry was not even included among the final contestants …(sniff…..sniff) ahem, but I hereby resubmit it as something that can be said to a girl when she says something stupid, a shit test, an argument, or any number of things when you don’t know what to say and that is:

    Look off in the distance, point your index finger in the air and say good naturdely (or not, as the situation warrants): “Irrelevant” and then get back to the direction YOU want to go.


    • Slightly revised: Look off in the distance (as if you are actually giving ever so brief consideration to what she said, which you are not), point your index finger in the air and say good naturedly (or not, as the situation warrants): “Irrelevant” and then get back to the direction YOU want to go.


  23. “You’re right, it’s a pity fuck.”


  24. Lolz, BIG lolz, if you already consider this the TsarBomba under the shittests I do think you’re living in a location where chicks are VERY ease.

    My natural response on this statement is something like “It’s fine, I just wanna to have some fun”. If a chick wants to have sex with you there is nothing that’s gonna change her mind.

    PS: you get this a lot when you’re already in bed with her.


    • The calculation used to determine if a shit test qualifies as a Tsar Bomba is the number of men it trips up. And by that standard the self-deprecation shit test is one of the most powerful at a woman’s disposal.


    • Read the post — he said that the woman’s subtext was “you probably can’t do any better than me.”

      Yeah, when a woman is -legit- showing vulnerability and insecurity, that’s something different.

      Although, if I were going to rank shit tests, I’d rank them on how difficult they are to crush. The only time in field that shit-test —> response has equaled increased attraction is when I’ve crushed the shit test. That requires taking it and reforming/framing it into a DHV for yourself.

      The compliment shit test is difficult, i.e. ‘you’re really x or y’
      The audition shit test kills ‘mmmmhm nice try…’

      The turn-back-to-you-then-walk-away-shit-test is…..INSANE lol.


  25. Update: a REAL “tsarbomba” shittest is when she’s playing you like a violin, but in a way that she makes that you are aware of that. So your natural reaction is that you show her this awareness by giving out subtle clues. She lets this happen. Then she changes something in the trajectory YOU predicted on her and on the same time she switches very fast to emotional distance, then to PROJECTION of anger, sadness, regret, then back to EXPRESSION of love and then back to “rejection openness”. Hard to describe but this is what she does. Basically she gives you the feeling you’re digging in her bitch-shield, she shows you what’s underneath and then changes inner personality. I’m sure guys who have seduced very hot chicks (+8’s) know what I’m talking about.


    • This might’ve happened to me and HB 8.5. I played dread game cuz the sex was getting vanilla and she dropped me, perhaps thinking I’d crawl back, perhaps my game was weak, perhaps it’s easier to be an att’n whore with all her friends saying dump the a-hole.



    Not only in America do the elites betray their race-kin.


  27. One of the first things said by my ex from beta ages ago was similar (“Wow, your boss’s daughter is hot, why didn’t you ask her out?”). To which I replied with romantic (deluded, blue pill) reassurance that my ex was hotter (lie).

    A year (351 days too late) later, turns out my ex was an ex-fattie (soon regained) with severe emotional issues topped off by borderline personality disorder.

    In retrospect, the proper response should have been, “Yeah she’s cute…we dated for a while” (lie); reap the benefits of my ex’s vengeful sex; and dump her after a few more bangs.


  28. It’s a very difficult one to get right. When I was still a teenager I went to a do and got talking to this married woman in her forties. I could sense I was like Xmas come early for her, yet she tested me by saying ‘why don’t you go and talk to those two girls over there’ referring to a couple of much younger girls. I had no intention of throwing away my advantage on the basis that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, and I knew that the two youngsters being together it would be impossible to separate them, and of course I would run the risk of an ignominious put-down. Perhaps at that moment honesty would have been the better policy, for I should have made it clear that I regarded her as the slut she obviously was. Whatever I actually said, we went back to her car later to make out.


  29. on the topic of worst responses: i was talking with a buddy of mine (fellow attorney at my firm) yesterday about a girl he is trying to fuck. she is 30 and has a long-distance boyfriend. she is has a college degree from a party school and works as a bartender. but, you can ignore the rest of that; most importantly of all, she is crazy hot for her age.

    my buddy, on the other hand, is more or less a natural. by that, i mean that he has good instincts, but he is like me before i came here (lurker since 2008). he doesn’t really know why certain things work or not, he just knows that, on balance, his approaches works. he’s also in his early 30s and makes good money. he isn’t very good looking and is kind of fat, not that it matters particularly.

    anyway, we met her at her bar like 1.5 months ago. they exchanged numbers. he reached out to her and they made plans, but she flaked (as they are wont to do). my buddy is stubborn so he just flat out decided that he would never text her again and deleted her number from his phone (btw, broadly speaking, i fully recommend deleting a phone number as a good method for helping you to mentally get over a chick that you are dwelling on).

    fast-forward to last week. my buddy goes out with one of our paralegals and her female cousin. they walk past the bartender’s bar and it just so happens that the bartender is standing outside. they both (according to him, i wasn’t there) pretend not to see each other. i think this is lame, i would have def engaged bartender with that social proof.

    anyway, lo and behold my buddy receives a text from the smokeshow bartender asking him what he’s been up to and if he wants to stop by her bar for a drink. he asks me about how to play it and i tell him in no uncertain terms that going to her bar is the worst idea possible. i suggest he waits until she’s probably almost off work and propose they meet somewhere else. he does. she agrees. they go to a bar and apparently hit it off very well, but don’t hook-up. at the end of the night, she asks him to call her the next day and she’ll come pick him and take him to his car. i think he probably blew a play to get laid that night given those clues, but, whatever. that’s not the point of my story.

    the next day he doesn’t text her at all. he decides that it will be too eager. he waits until the day after and asks her how the rest of her weekend was (BORING and in the face of my advice to text something irreverent like “my hadns are HUGE!” or some dumb shit like that i love).

    she quickly responds back saying (he texted it to me): “it was good… kept waiting to hear from you on saturday so you could get your car.” an obvious, pathetic shittest. she’s just not used to having a dude blow her off after she dangles the possibility of hanging out with her in his face. he asks me what to say in response, but he’s PISSED because she has NO RIGHT given her prior flake. i try to explain as ch said above that women are not logical, not reasonable, etc. and the best response to her text is either 1) no response or 2) something light and irreverent like “wtf impossible i texted you like 67 times!!!” or “my b had to leave country cia called me up for a top secret mission.” the point, of course, is to never logically respond to women’s entreats. despite my advice, he sincerely and earnestly describes that he got a ride from someone else and that they should get together again. guess what? NO RESPONSE. he failed miserably because he played into her frame and refused to acknowledge that she doesn’t actually want a real response. that shit is boring.

    afterward, he tells me FUCK THAT SHIT i’m not gonna play games. fuck her, etc. but let’s be honest. as yareally has said (or paraphrased from someone else, i don’t remember), he didn’t next her, she nexted him. he didn’t fuck her. FAIL.

    in short, don’t treat women with the earnestness or honesty you would extend to men. women don’t appreciate it or even want it so why waste your time? why swim against the current, bro???


    • Excellent story that touched upon a lot of CH topics.

      Thanks for sharing YOC.


      • It was excellent and very highly instructional. THere was a shit test trap a mile wide that, frankly, I didn’t even see or understand until CH highlighted the following key element/nuance that, being blind to it, assured me I’m still a ‘C’ student in this:

        “….to reassure her that she’s pretty. Your logical male mind thinks this is the answer she wantsf you say it you’ll soon discover the air escaping from any sexual tension that had been building. Women interpret male reassurance as male desperation to keep the momentum moving toward sex”

        that qualifies as a “code crack” that one famous commenter here (who shall remain unnamed to keep the controversey down) referred to, in my book


    • on August 6, 2013 at 5:27 pm Dan Fletcher

      “refused to acknowledge that she doesn’t actually want a real response. that shit is boring.”

      “in short, don’t treat women with the earnestness or honesty you would extend to men. women don’t appreciate it or even want it so why waste your time?”

      It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure this out. My logical man brain just could not accept this idea. I was definitely projecting my desire for straightforwardness and logic onto women.


    • ah, I complimented CH story instead of this one by yeahcool which is good. My brief but illustrious education here and on Krauser would have made me ignore her question “it was good… kept waiting to hear from you on saturday so you could get your car.” and say something that you’re doing that is like a ping msg that is totally out of context and makes no logical sense

      your suggestion of ‘my bad had to leave the country for top secret CIA mission is also excellent.


    • > “it was good… kept waiting to hear from you on saturday so you could get your car.”

      What do you guys think about just ignoring this and immediately setting up the next “date”? Something like “Let’s meet tomorrow. [place], [time].” Is this setting up yourself for rejection?


      • that’s fine. the whole point of my post was that you should not respond logically to women. when i said “no response,” i meant don’t respond specifically to this comment. your notion to segue into another date is exactly what i’m driving at. the other comments (e.g., cia, etc) are just buffers between her comment and you attempting to set up another meet.


  30. I had something akin to this happen to me lately.

    I was dumspter-diving with a soft 7 who not only asked me out, but was a novelty-race fuck of a variety never before tasted.

    An asian couple walked past us. The chick was a solid 9.5, while the boyfriend whose arm she was hanging off of was a stereotypical 5’3″, skinny, mathy type.

    My chick and I got to talking and I said that the asian kid must have something beyond looks to lock her down. I told her he must have more game than another couple where the guy was really good looking, and the chick a dud.

    “A good looking guy with a really ugly bitch means something is wrong with the guy”, I told her.

    She immediately replied with “Well then maybe I shouldn’t be seen with a good looking guy like you”

    My reply? “I said REALLY ugly, not just ugly”. Nothing more was said on the topic.

    Girls intuitively know when the guy they’re with could be smashing finer ass than theirs, and they’ll pull this shit out. I often like dipping down the point scale a bit because these girls, when handled correctly, are much more openly hungry for the dick. I avoid reassuring her, but tread the fine line that communicates to her “Yea, I know I’m a little out of your league, but I’ll neither deny, nor confirm it”.

    The hamster runs wild, and the usual girls comes to some sort of conclusion that even though I could be smashing finer china, she must have that *something* that sets her apart.


  31. on August 6, 2013 at 4:44 pm Imperial Leather

    Stop what your doing immediately. Take her to the bar. Buy 6 beers and drink them quickly yourself. Don’t say a word to her. When she asks you what your doing tell her your waiting for your beer goggles to kick in


  32. on August 6, 2013 at 4:50 pm Black Casanova

    Nuclear shit test always fumble and stumble guys who don’t quite understand the pickup process on an advanced level like a Heartiste, Roosh or I would. But I’ve been on the receiving end of nuclear negs before lol.


  33. on August 6, 2013 at 5:25 pm hole is the goal

    any advice on this shit test, dancing with chick then I put my arms round her grabbing her ass gently. wacks my hand away and says “do you always grab girls asses you have only just met”


  34. There’s a shit test that to my knowledge no one talks about but I get it a lot, and I would love to hear the chateau’s opinion (of which the valued commenters are a part, e.g. Yareally): slightly more high t or drunk entitled chicks (invariably in clubs) who react to cocky teasing by “love slapping” you, or punching you in the stomach (again, not hard, but it throws you off). Example: you don’t give her a straight answer but a smirking evasion or joke, and she sort of simultaneously squeals with delight and tries to whack you. Usually it’s soft, but some of the bigger bitches, especially drunk ones, try to go hard.

    Last night a tipsy athlete chick (tall big girl, toned, great ass, quasi-ingenue) slapped /face-shoved me 3 times (on the same side), before, during and after I made out with her. I said “listen could you slap the other side next time, thanks!” I banged the fuck out of her that night, and it was worth it, but in the club I came close to grabbing her and telling her to settle the fuck down, or walking away to pursue less bratty chicks. (Probably should add I’m youthful looking, jacked, borderline douchebag in my club demeanour, have one-night stands a lot). To me the slap is a way of breaking you out of your frame and evoking an emotional or butthurt reaction. Any thoughts on what’s the best way of dealing with it? (These chicks are usually down to fuck that night if you can get passed their aggressive cuntery).


    • The love slap is a masculinity test. As you implied, a butthurt response is incorrect (feminine). Ignore her first love slap, then on the 2nd / subsequent occurrences, playfully defend with a block / parry (don’t let her hand reach your face), i.e., egg her on to keep going. Then slap her ass with no verbal explanation (should be obvious).


      • Pure gold today….taking copious notes. Recognizing and snuffing out shit tests is probably half of the game. Got a blow and go today from an older 7. Afterwards she starts talking about some ugly chick from my hometown. Im half listening to her when she busts out “did you ever date her?” An ingrained beta “nooo” came out of my mouth. Then I had that feeling you get when youre leaning back in your chair and almost fall. I snapped back deadpan “I just had freaky sex with her with a bag on her head a few times. No dates.” She laughs. Future blow and goes secured. When you get the falling instinct on shit tests, you are coming into your own. Thanks CH and fellow men!


    • Your reply was good. Key here is to not come across as angry or upset that she’s hitting you. This is the type of chick who wants to be utterly dominated, both in and out of the bedroom, and her hitting you is a primitive test of your dominance. Another good response is to parry and smack her ass, or tell her to stop getting so touchy-feely, you aren’t that kind of guy.


    • “Example: you don’t give her a straight answer but a smirking evasion or joke, and she sort of simultaneously squeals with delight and tries to whack you.”

      We used to call this the “you’re such an asshole! arm-punch” lol It’s a common thing with most girls, but like you say the more aggressive/entitled ones will take it a step further from a light arm-punch to actual body punches or face slaps. You’re also partly getting this because of your looks…ie – you look like you can take it because you’re jacked, and she’s attracted to your body but kind of wrestling with frustration because she’s trying NOT to be attracted. Often when a girl gives you shit, it’s because she’s attracted when she didn’t want to be and she’s venting lol Like when I get slapped or punched (it happens to me a fair amount because my style of game is super offensive and goads the girl into shit-testing me a lot), I grin because to me that’s her telling me “god I hate how bad I want to fuck you!!” and it’s all a green-light to me that I can escalate to us fucking that night.

      “To me the slap is a way of breaking you out of your frame and evoking an emotional or butthurt reaction.”

      This is what’s happening, good observation. Read the Tyler stuff I quote down below for WHY she tries to get you to act butt-hurt.

      “(These chicks are usually down to fuck that night if you can get passed their aggressive cuntery)”

      Yup. I eat these girls for breakfast. My friends know that if they run into a super bitchy in-your-face aggressive mother hen, to just introduce her to me and I’ll tame her and probably end up fucking her because I’m not fazed by anything they do and know how to read the sub-communications and escalate. My friends think it’s hilarious when I do it lol These chicks usually want to be dominated like FUCK in bed and a hate-fuck is good for the soul now and then.

      “Any thoughts on what’s the best way of dealing with it?”

      You did good. You stayed calm and cool and un-fazed, and I mean, you got the lay so clearly it worked lol. But you could actually have been a little more efficient by understanding that she’s actually highly attracted and basically venting some sexual frustration…which means that you can handle it calm and escalate things forward because she’s signalling “I’m horny and attracted to you!” VS handling it calm but just keeping the same pace you were keeping before, if that makes sense. ie – you can floor the gas instead of continuing to drive the speed limit…both will get you to your destination, but you could get there a little faster (making out hardcore raunchy in the bar, fucking her in the bathroom or finger-banging her and getting a hand-job on the dance floor, etc.). Of course the other rule of “don’t make out hardcore unless the logistics will allow you to escalate to sex that night” so you might not WANT to floor the gas, but that should be a conscious decision VS simply not realizing you have that option.

      So in these situs, I read it as her venting how frustrated she is at how attracted she is to me, and I escalate. In this case, after the first slap/punch/face-shove, I would be keeping an eye out for the next one and when it comes, interrupt it or respond IMMEDIATELY and unexpectedly after (the surprise of the sudden escalation is half of what soaks her), by dominantly grabbing her and pulling her in close, one hand around her waist and the other up at the side of her jaw cupping her jaw as I stare her down and say to her nice and low so only she can hear “Careful…you keep being rough with me and I’m going to have to be rough with YOU…”, wait for a beat or two while she’s in deer-in-headlights mode, and slide my jaw-hand back to the hair at the base of her neck and grab a fistful of it and pull down slowly but firmly so she has to tilt her head back (she WILL) and move my face in closer to her ear and growl “but I get the feeling you wouldn’t mind that…”

      That should pretty much send her into a submissive “holy shit” sexually charged state where you can nibble on her neck, pull her in for a kiss, etc. and you can take it from there.

      The key here is that you understand her hitting you means she’s horny, not that she’s NOT attracted. So HOW you escalate doesn’t matter, like you don’t have to follow how I do it, but the underlying principle is that you understand “I have a green light and should escalate swiftly and confidently”.

      From oldschool Tyler (full article here: ):

      “As EACH Buying Temperature increase, the chick will usually TEST you, as a way of TRYING to throw herself OUT OF STATE. She tests by doing things that if you react too seriously, she’ll get upset and therefore be thrown out of state. By passing tests, Buying Temperature is AMPLIFIED. This is like when Eddy (whitedragonPUA) posted about his HBRugby Lay report She kept punching him all night. After he laid her, he asked her why. She said “I just thought you’d go away”… She knew she was hitting buying temperature, and didn’t want to succumb to it so she tested by hitting him and hoped that he would back off and she would come down. Think back to when you tried to kiss a girl on a date, and she said “NOT YET”. She doesn’t mean NO. She ONLY means “I’m not at buying temperature yet.. Give me more gaming”. Likewise, you try to venue change a girl, and she says “No. But I still want to talk to you”. You keep gaming her, and a few minutes later you change venues. This was because you tried to ESCALATE PRIOR TO ATTAINING THE RIGHT LEVEL OF BUYING TEMPERATURE.

      There are many examples of chicks trying to throw themselves out of state when hitting buying temperature, but then by passing tests it is actually amplified: Chick feels herself getting horny. HB: “You’re a player”. PUA: “Yeah.. so what is it that turns you on so much about players anyway” (Response works firstly because you didn’t disagree, so she can’t get mad for you lying to her and break her own state, and secondly because you say something COCKY, which hits her emotionally, and therefore raises buying temperature)

      EG: Chick says “we shouldn’t be doing this”… PUA responds “yeah, we shouldn’t be doing this” but KEEPS going.

      In both cases, the chick feels her buying temperature increasing unusually rapidly (because of the PUA skillset), and tries to stop what’s happening.

      When Buying Temperature is hit too quickly, it is called FRYING OUT HER CIRCUITS. This is like when chicks giggle uncontrollably and run away from you even though they like you, or when a chick is at a rock concert and starts screaming and crying when the rockstar comes out. She has hit buying temperature so fast, her circuits fry out and she freaks.”

      Attraction and shit-tests for a girl is like she’s in a car that’s picking up speed as it rolls down a huge hill and at the bottom of that hill is “fucking you”. At first she lightly presses on the brakes (shit-tests you), but they don’t quite work (you pass her shit-test so she gets more attracted) and the car keeps picking up speed, so she presses them harder, but they still don’t work and the car speeds up more, then she realizes o shit the brakes are OUT and she jams on them harder and harder panicking as the car zooms down the hill but the brakes are totally out and ahhhhhhhhh now your dick is in her. lol.

      The thing is, they LOVE it. The same way people pay to go on rollercoasters and those rollercoasters take you up a nice slow relaxing hill, letting the anticipation build until they finally send you helplessly zooming around as you freak out and scream and think “o god let me off this thing aahhhhhh!!!!” until you’re emotionally exhausted as the ride finally pulls into it’s end stop…where you go “omg that was awesome!!” and pay for another ticket to hop right back on again for another ride. 🙂


      • God damn, solid reply. I got vicarious tingles reading the hair grabbing part. I do pretty much exactly as you describe it (without consciously thinking about pickup parlance like escalation). I was aggressive with her, physically and emotionally (she accused me later of treating her like a child) we made out hardcore on a couch at the back of a club- she straddled me and a bouncer had to intervene. I walked her home, stopping here and there to make out, and just let myself in.

        Still, I hate being slapped (I once cracked my skull in an accident, and it drives me insane to have anyone try to hit my head, playfully or not), I have to muster all my resolve to not want to cuntpunt her, but them’s the breaks with fast-escalation tactics. Thanks yareally and CH.


      • “but them’s the breaks with fast-escalation tactics.”

        Basically this. You could slowly date her over the course of a month on really low-energy, low-attraction dates, and let her know you don’t like being slapped and she probably won’t be thinking about slapping you anyway because the intensity wouldn’t be there…

        But if you’re going to blast from meet to lay quickly, you’re both going to cross a few of eachother’s lines. Maybe she doesn’t like being spanked, and you’d know that about her if you waited a month to bang, but that night you might spank her, and she might just not say anything or she might completely freak out and go into some kind of crazy panic attack because her dad used to spank her and he raped her when she was a kid and you just unlocked a bunch of baggage and now she’s huddled up in a corner shaking and crying and won’t tell you what’s going on and you’re freaking out thinking “holy shit I’m going to jail, FML!!!”

        …but them’s the breaks of fast seduction lol Learning to recover from crossing her boundaries in a smooth way and avoiding Buyer’s Remorse is an important skillset when you’re sticking your dick in girls you’ve only known a few hours.


      • Hey, I’m not sure if you’ll get this response, but have you any writings/input on avoiding buyers remorse? It’s something I often think about as I’ve fucked this up in the past. My main MO right now is lots of comfort post-sex, texting her the next day, not making her feel like a disposable hole–because I go for the whirlwind bang, putting her strongly in a sexual/fun mindstate and using a lot of momentum to get her in the sack. This opens the risk of buyer’s remorse, a mixture of anti-slut fear (or whatever you guys call it) and “shit I didn’t have the sense/time to assess his mate value, is his semen really drying on my face?”. Hope the question makes sense, I’ll throw it your way on another thread if you don’t get it 😉

        (Also your advice to not make out too heavily if the same-night bang isn’t logically possible is gold)


    • Lucky man. That’s a high-alpha female who wants to be destroyed in the sack. And you won’t find out how much she wants it for quite a while — so you’re missing out bigtime if you’re Mr. ONS.


  35. She said: “I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot. There are way better looking girls you should be going after.”

    Well sure, but they wouldn’t have such low self-esteem haha


  36. I just the variation of this: “Hope that’s not just a line you use on all the girls”

    Me: Nah… keep ploughing on….


  37. Despite being as ‘sperg as they come, I generally respond to this by spotlighting it. Give a little sideways smile and say in an exaggerated manner: “SOMEBODY is fishing for compliments!” Then go for the kiss. Make fun of the ploy for attention, then reward with the kiss.

    [CH: This is a good reply. Kood’ohs.]


  38. Answer: “Oh don’t be silly. Your tusks are barely even noticeable.”


  39. on August 6, 2013 at 6:47 pm suppressedtruthsociety

    Uh, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the dude answered his own question at the end of the email.

    “Yea I know, I just wanted an easy lay tonight.”


  40. “Know you’d be extra grateful. . .”


  41. “I have one rule – if it goes up, it goes in.”


  42. […] The Self-Deprecation Nuclear Shit Test […]


  43. on August 6, 2013 at 8:06 pm gunslingergregi

    went honesty route:

    me bored as fuck

    no girlfriend hurts a bit when she gone i guess oh well find neew one

    chick I will apply to take that place!! I think u need to give red hair a try!

    dating site replies? cause I prob fucked it up lol

    this other ho I chatted with tried to fucking charge me 300 bucks to come over for half hour
    then ended up texting with me for 4 fuckin hour telling me life story and shit
    dam getting good with hos lol


    • on August 6, 2013 at 8:10 pm gunslingergregi

      ex chick did come over today did a bunch of freaky shit like let me piss in her mouth ate the hawker with a smile I was laughing at her and shit just like dam girl you fuckin wild
      shaved me then took her back home lol
      it seems to be the pattern which aint all bad but ahh


      • on August 6, 2013 at 8:13 pm gunslingergregi

        said she will always come when I call no matter who she with what she doin
        im like so when your with some dude living with him for years and shit telling dude how much you love him and I come visit you gonna come see me
        she like yea
        im that’s fucked up


      • Well, you’ll always have these memories to keep you warm when you’re old. What happened to your Internet? Where have you been? Inquiring minds want, no, NEED to know!


      • on August 7, 2013 at 6:12 am gunslingergregi

        been chillin enjoyin summer favorite ho got off drugs again and went beech nyc been campin fishing taking boat out. Cookin out. Getting ready to go back to wife soon.


      • damn, bro. sounds like a good summer.


    • on August 6, 2013 at 8:17 pm gunslingergregi

      laughed at the 300 he he he


  44. LOLZ


  45. I didn’t know the self deprication thing was a test. I say such things myself, but I mean it to compliment the guy, not fish for a compliment on myself. Like “wow, it wouldn’t be weird at all to see you with a model girlfriend. I feel really lucky that you are talking to me.”

    I would say something like the above- not to seek reassurance, but to make the guy feel like I really like him and feel good about himself. I would also only say that if I thought it were the truth.

    The girl in the OP appears to be saying something she believes is true. If we are to believe the person who sent this story in, the girl is right.


  46. Had one much like this. My response: “I don’t just go for looks.” She was taking my clothes off within thirty seconds.

    Be curious re thoughts about that response. (Ignore that I banged the girl, she was a bit of a slut anyways and had quite the hots for me – probably any answer would have done for her.)


    • Had one much like this. My response: “I don’t just go for looks.” She was taking my clothes off within thirty seconds.

      That’s a weak line (well, it’s definitely unimaginative), but depending on context and delivery it might have helped you.

      [CH: It’s a weak line because it’s so obviously false. Women know men go for looks. Claiming otherwise is male feminist appeasement.]

      More likely though – and this is very easy to forget – is if a girl is attracted to you there’s not a lot you can do wrong;


      if she isn’t attracted, there’s not a lot you can do right.


      In this case she probably liked you enough anyway that your response didn’t really matter.

      [Faulty conclusion.]


      • The faulty conclusion is that he dropped that “killer line” and the girl began ripping his clothes off. My point was that by the time it came to that he’d obviously attracted her (or “gotten her interest level high enough” or whatever terms you want to use) enough that the “killer line” (heh) had little to do with it. If she was so into him that she really did begin ripping his clothes off then she was so attracted that he would have to have tried pretty hard to fuck things up from there.

        I don’t want to go into “looks theory” and that stuff, which is way overstated, but if a girl thinks you’re cute or hot you really do get chances to “recover” whereas as when they aren’t physically attracted off the bat your fuck ups become excuses to shut you down. Nothing necessarily insurmountable, of course, but most guys will quit at that point.


      • Hah yeah I could have killed the whole thing with that line for sure. Weak as, hadn’t had that type of thing before. It completely surprised me to have that Q used as last-minute resistance.

        @Silver re taking critique reasonably well – why not? I came in asking for it, in fact figured that I’d get shivved much worse’n I did. In the end it’s all a learning experience.


      • Ya, from personal experience these two statements are definitely wrong:

        ‘More likely though – and this is very easy to forget – is if a girl is attracted to you there’s not a lot you can do wrong;’

        Here, we deploy the shit-in-pants conjecture. If you were chatting a girl up for 30 minutes, who seemed really into you, would she still feel the same way if you shit your pants?

        Now, you may say ‘oh but that’s just soooooo bad.’ True. Most of the errors will be smaller than this. And each one will peck at that built-up attraction bit by bit.

        ‘if she isn’t attracted, there’s not a lot you can do right.’

        This is totally untrue. I WILL say that it’s definitely more difficult than people believe. However, I will also say that the ROI is incredible when you do pull it off.


      • I answered these in a reply to CH but it’s not showing up. Just in case it’s lost, I’ll repeat myself: if she truly did rip his clothes off then she was attracted enough at that point that his weak line hardly mattered at all. If a girl’s close to the point of wanting to rip your clothes you’d have to fuck up pretty bad to get brushed off.

        With respect it to “not a lot you can do right,” I meant it more in the sense of once you’ve screwed up or done something that makes her unattracted to you; it’s no mean feat to recover from that if she wasn’t already physically attracted to you. The converse is that if she is physically attracted she’ll want you to succeed so you’ll have much more chance of recovery.


      • Oh, if that’s what you meant then ya lol for sure. You’ll find a lot of that on this site; people who are on the one yard line, mid-sprint, wide open acting like that little juke or spin made a difference in getting the touchdown.

        It’s best to imagine “game” and pulling chicks from a football perspective. The average guy starts at 40 yards. A guy with disadvantages starts at around 15-20 yards. Male models manage to get the ball when the other team onside kicks, so they start on like the 80 yard line lol.


      • I like analogies, and that’s a pretty good one.

        Black Poison Soul,

        You have a good attitude towards being critiqued. I have something to learn from you there, lol.


      • Thanks for the thoughts, always so much to untrain and retrain and learn.


      • on August 7, 2013 at 6:16 am gunslingergregi

        who seemed really into you, would she still feel the same way if you shit your pants? ”””””

        yea they would prob like you more lolzzzzzzz
        theyd feel needed


  47. Boys, I’m just an interloper here, but I can’t understand something.

    Where did this “hamster” stuff come from and what does it mean?

    [CH: Coy boy.]


  48. ““I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot. There are way better looking girls you should be going after.””

    “I guess you’re right. So which one do you suggest? —the brunette over there?”


  49. Maybe it varies by age group. In my experience, a good move in response to a move like that is to just stare into their eyes while pulling one of her little hands down to say hello to your big erection.
    Time wasting conversations often cease at that point. One way or the other. But at least you will not have to go there again with the same woman.


  50. on August 6, 2013 at 11:11 pm Random asshole

    “It’s part of my community service for my latest assault conviction”


  51. “Geoffrey Miller censured by UNM, dep’t chair will bring “fat stigma expert” to “educate the community”.”

    “As part of the censure, Miller will be required to:

    Work with the faculty co-advisors of the Psychology Department’s Diversity Organization to develop a plan for sensitivity training as it pertains to obesity.”

    To borrow from Herman Wouk, liberal Amerika is “Sunday school for grown men, seven days a week.”


  52. *pssh* “shut up”….

    …and then go into something else and get her mind off the fact that she doesn’t stack up against her hotter sisters. Said with a thought of “seriously enough. you’re being retarded” Not a big fan of the asshole approach on a 6 (save that for the hotter ones that get turned on by it). And obviously “Oh no you look great!” or some variation is gonna dry that pussy up instantly.

    Quick example: me with a group at the beach, started drinking at 11am. This was a little more than a year ago. In the sun and drinking all day. Not the best crop of girls, but a 6.5 had been flirting with me all day.

    Later that night, back at the beach house. Me sorta in that coming-off-drunk yet not-quite-sober haze, we bang in a spare bedroom for a good 45 min straight. It was actually a great performance: edge of the bed jackhammering, flip her over and run the cock between her legs and into her hole, back up to suck a little bit, back down hips slapping quite hard. Problem was…I just couldn’t quite cum. I would sorta get close and then it would go away.

    We take a halftime break and both lay on our backs side by side:

    Me: “mother fucker this is annoying”
    Her: “well, I guess it’s just that i’m not that hot enough, you know?”
    Me: “pssh…shut up. I’m positive it’s got everything to do with the whiskey sours all fucking day”

    Cue on of the best blowjob/asslicking performances I’ve ever received lol

    Honestly, I probably could have cum had the girl been a tad bit hotter. But..shit is shit and sometimes the best move is just flat out lying. Especially when some question designed only to be “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” by answering honestly either way.


  53. The line from hot girls is “You have lots of other girls you can chase…” or some such.

    I have used: “There’s always room for one more in my harem”.

    But…here’s one situation where it all went wrong.

    I gamed a girl successfully online on Ok cupid.

    Krauser’s “You have that look my mom warned me about, sweet and proper in public, sex-crazed maniac in private”.

    Her: that’s a great intro, you’re fun…blah blah blah

    We set up a drinks nite.

    A few days before that, I send a ping text where I sent a photo of an erotic art-work I’d bought.

    Her: cool, congratulations looks nice

    Me: can you pose like that

    Her: No and this sex talk makes me uncomfortable…..

    Me: What? I’m talking about my artworks

    Her: No, you k now what you’re talking about….

    Me: Just for that you’re buying the first round.

    Her; Our date is off. GOODBYE

    Me: K

    so…I over-gamed or her anti-slut defense came up. She over-reacted. But it’s just as well, worse if this happened live and I’d wasted a night out on someone like this.


    • Your aggression turned the date into a commitment to fuck. That’s how liasons are arranged with escorts.

      She was considering it *potential* sexy time, which is what she wants and is why she’s on-line. The close here was getting the compliments on your innuendo, and the props for the picture. But then your explicit assertiveness destroyed her ability to rationalize later and offer the faux-objection that “I’m not really like this … I’m not a slut … oops, it just happened!” It also destroyed any mystery, sense of self-control, or impression that she is one of many options. Instead of presenting yourself as a worthy challenge that she had to step up and win, you’re just another guy who’s desperate to fuck. So she lapsed back into protective “I am Cinderella” mode.

      Asking for the order on a first sales call usually disqualifies the salesman. I call it ‘spilling all the candy in the lobby.’

      Anyway, I don’t know why you’d want to commit to sex before you actually met her. On-line personae are so often unrelated to who shows up for that cup of coffee. Just my two cents.


      • “Your aggression turned the date into a commitment to fuck. That’s how liasons are arranged with escorts.”

        This. I’ve written about this before: once you have a date arranged, even if you were sexting daily with her up to that point, drop the sex talk and keep things to light flirting.

        Once the date is set, shit becomes “real” and her ASD starts to look for signs of her being slutty…if you keep it light and flirty and innocent, even tho logically she was acting slutty before and even tho you both KNOW the date is to fuck, NOW her ASD will kick in like it did for you here.

        ON the date, you just be sexual/flirty from the “hello” and escalate it to sex, which is fine because then she can tell her hamster she was just going to meet up for drinks and it “just happened” VS that she was going to meet up for sex.

        In a way, a lot of seduction is helping a girl disarm her own security system that she WANTS to disarm lol. It’s like it’s you and her sexual brain trying to out-wit and work around her logical brain. The security officer wasn’t on shift before the date was arranged but then he got to work and started his patrol and now the two of you have to sneak around him without him noticing so you can go bang eachother.


      • Thanks, any way to turn this around?


      • ya, but it wouldn’t be worth your time lol. You’d have to spend like a year actively friend-zoning yourself till the ASD alarm cooled off, and you set it off HARD so it’d take a long time.

        There’s also an extremely rare chance that she may have shit happen in her life that makes her decide to be more sexually adventurous and she may remember that you’d be an easy lay and she may txt you drunk at 2am but this would be completely random and out of your control.

        If you had more comfort/rapport with her, the ASD alarm wouldn’t trigger as hard and/or would cool off faster, because she would be like “that was bad BUUUUT he’s such an awesome guy and we have such a connection…..” But you triggered it before you had any real history together and she has 1000 other dudes lined up to treat her non-slutty and pet her hamster nicely, so she has no reason to give you another chance.

        No biggie, you learned a lesson from it that’ll get you lays in the future that you might’ve effed up. 🙂


      • No. She thinks you’re a perv. Face palm once and go for a run.


      • Thanks.


  54. stop putting yourself down, its not your style
    would that work as a response?


    • @rikard, no that would be a direct response and acknowledge the theme of the shit-test. The idea of passing shit-tests is to either ignore, reframe or agree and amplify.


    • Too serious. It’s a shit test. The last thing you want to do is give a serious answer. That said, you also have to realize that the underlying insecurity is real. So after giving the funny/cocky answer to disarm the tsar bomba, you immediately go for the kiss to reassure her. Push/Pull.


  55. ‘Sometimes I like to do a little charity’


  56. Here’s a question for the experienced: should this be handled as a shit test? (It’s sort of the inverse or byproduct of the insecurity/self-deprecation shit test. And I never know what to say.)

    A girl will be infatuated or falling in love. From time to time at odd moments she will look at me and out of the blue say “You’re so handsome.” (It doesn’t matter for the purposes of this discussion if I am or not. I am not ugly, so the compliment is sincere.)

    It’s really a form of “you could get someone prettier”, albeit in a warm and loving way, right?

    And it’s really lame for me to reply in kind: “And you are so beautiful”, so I don’t. I hate that fishing for praise. I usually just ignore the statement, maybe look at her for a beat or two, before changing the subject. Or at most give her a thank-you kiss or touch of the hand. But I have no idea how to reply to that without going squishy, which would train her to offer that compliment every time she wants me to turn around and praise her looks.

    Any suggestions appreciated. Even the girlfriend I had who was Hollywood would say this to me. I can’t unpack the information in the test.


    • It happened again this morning right after I posted the above. For context, she is in Spain this week and we were texting (not using video)on Skype:

      She: “I wish you could spank me right now, that would feel so good.”

      I: “We have much to explore.”

      She: “You are so handsome.”

      I: [no response, and that’s because … I have NO CLUE]

      She: “You are up early today.”

      I: “Up at 3:30 this week. Big week underway.”

      She: “My handsome baby.”

      I: [No response, and WTF do I say?]

      She: “I want to curl up into you…”

      As mentioned, this happens several times a week, in person or remotely. I know her comments are circling something, I just can’t figure out what it is. The best I can conclude is that she’s frustrated that I don’t fawn over her looks, or that she seeks reassurance like the 6 in the anecdote that started this thread. (I used to be a good beta husband who would always return compliments for compliments; that didn’t work out so well.) And incidentally, there’s a lot to compliment this woman for, not the least of which is a near-immaculate figure, the best ass I’ve seen since college, and the fact that she is 20 years younger. My head hurts trying to make this state of hers last.

      Incidentally, when she (evidently) gets frustrated with my aloofness she lapses into slutty game, such as telling me yesterday that Sean Penn was “eye-fucking” her at the club she and her girlfriend visited. “Are there condoms for that? because those are some well-traveled eyes” was my response.

      Any suggestions appreciated.


      • on August 7, 2013 at 9:32 am gunslingergregi

        say thanks
        when tells me she loves me I say thanks
        appreciate it


      • on August 7, 2013 at 9:37 am gunslingergregi

        best man in the world
        that’s a strong one cause she would know
        Drumbeat he he he


      • on August 7, 2013 at 10:07 am gunslingergregi

        trimming my mustache with the scissors told her I was getting the warm fuzzy
        she got done looked at me said beautiful ok little scary lol
        got the nose ear trimmer went to work
        said I even get the boogies out your nose
        im like aww


      • “The best I can conclude is that she’s frustrated that I don’t fawn over her looks”

        This. If she’s hot she’s used to men fawning. You don’t (which is good), but if you’re in a relationship– even if it’s casual– at some point you have to give her something. Do you compliment her at all? I’d say for every ten compliments she gives you, throw in a sexual compliment, like “you have a great a**.” Incidentally, the jealousy test (Sean Penn thinks I’m hot, etc) suggests you’ve got the right balance already.

        Why not just acknowledge the compliments? “Thanks babe.” Change topic.


      • Thanks, Amy. I do compliment her, but I’m shoving my fist in my mouth to keep it rare, because my instinct is to respond in kind. I don’t want to do it like some supplicating gamma pavlovian dog on command. Reasons are somewhat personal, but my ex- was a Vogue model, and when the hypergamy bomb went off (before I even knew what hypergamy was) I doubled down on being a good post-feminist supportive flattering Cinderella worshipper. Bad move, that.

        When I’m complimented professionally, instead of blushing or making self-deprecating comments that diminish the compliment, or immediately flattering the complimenter in response, I just nod and smile, or say, “Thanks, we do our best.” And change the subject as you note. Are you saying this is appropriate in personal matters? The difference is that men or women do not issue compliments in a professional context as part of some meta-manipulation; it’s easier to take them at face value.

        The stuff with Penn I believe happened. She’s hot. I also don’t give a shit. I don’t hang out with star-fuckers, so if she wants to be his pump-and-dump, it’s good information and I’m out. I know how to manage that, I think, but I really appreciate your taking the time to read my note.


      • My guess is that she can tell that you get all awkward without knowing what to say and finds it either cute or funny. If she really didn’t care about your reaction, if she did it because she felt she just had to say it, then she would not react to your failure to reciprocate.

        I would go with something like “I know”, “Shut the fuck up”, “Yeah.” “Yes. Do you realize how lucky you are?”, “Gay.” etc


      • it’s okay to pay a girl a compliment occasionally, especially if she’s hot, fun to be around, and you genuinely like her.

        you to convey that you appreciate her, without sounding needy.

        so ‘you’re so beautiful’ in response to her calling you handsome is off the table, but something like ‘we’re a great fit’ will get the point across.


      • Thanks, itsme. She did it again this afternoon: “You’re so sexy.” This is exhausting. Perhaps she’s just leading me on with this flattery to someplace I don’t want to be.

        But I said, “Yeah. That’s my job. Like your job is to be sexy for me.” And changed the subject. Then she took her clothes off and we entertained some asshole at the NSA for an hour. With luck the NSA guy got off looking at her instead of me.

        This seems to be in line with your suggestion to agree with the compliment without being a dick, and without plastering a de rigeur reciprocal compliment all over her face. I know I’m supposed to be a dick according to Game, but honestly, no one would believe it and the girls I see have very high SMV and are inured to it. So I’m polite in public; my anger or frustration reaction, in public, is … silence.

        I’ve never said “shut the fuck up” to a woman in my life, and I don’t plan to start unless she’s doing something that would cause me to draw my weapon.


      • BV, it’s really not necessary for you to be a dick– the STFU crass game isn’t going to work for higher status girls and you should always be congruent with your core personality. With your dating pool it’s more subtle game because the men these girls know and date don’t talk and act like that. It sounds like you’re doing fine to me … acknowledge compliments pleasantly and briefly, and sporadically return them.

        You just need to keep in mind that it’s normal– and desirable– for her to always be wanting a little more from you than she’s getting. So try not to get too bothered by the compliments. It’s a good thing. Creating and keeping this slight “value imbalance” is very important with high SMV women, although it can be overdone, since she can easily go and find the attention she wants (or thinks she wants) elsewhere. That’s why you do have to throw her some good, genuine compliments once and a while.


      • I’m ok with this, though the trapeze act with narcissistic 8+’s means some a-hole game since they’re att’n whores. Better your terms than smell like orbiter


      • Thank you, Amy.

        My only quibble is she devolves to slut-talk to demonstrate her SMV when she’s frustrated with my refusal to supplicate. This is an option that a woman has that no man in this demographic can exploit. This happened again late yesterday (“I feel like I should just fuck this bartender LOL”). I shoved my fist into my figurative mouth for an hour and then texted her back “We’re done. Twice in one week.” Then I terminated her Skype account. I’ve received 20 texts and 10 emails from her since: the usual effusive apologies, plus the hackneyed rationalization that she was having terrible PMS, and then a series of promises regarding sexual pyrotechnics if I relent.

        I guess this is just a trite bit of whining about female incongruities. My kingdom for a self-aware woman. I’ve known two or three in the past 30 years, so I know they exist. I guess the problem is the problem of habit. She acts out of habit and without thinking when there’s a little prosecco in her.

        I’ve debated sending her a note today that just said, “We can have a casual sexual thing if you want, but I really don’t want to talk to you otherwise.” I’m confident that she’ll leap at that, but I’ve never been that guy and getting laid is not my challenge. So I wrote her and said, “There’s no need for us to bicker, but I don’t cotton to quite so much drama and inconsistency, so it’s best we both move on.” In my heart I know this is right, but I’m also at my desk with a glass of rye at hand, because I am disappointed. The usual pattern, anyway, is that she’ll be back in a month or two and maybe I’ll give it another whirl. I managed to stop the madness without losing my shit and saying something I would regret.

        Thanks again for offering your perspective.


      • This seems to be in line with your suggestion to agree with the compliment without being a dick, and without plastering a de rigeur reciprocal compliment all over her face. I know I’m supposed to be a dick according to Game, but honestly, no one would believe it and the girls I see have very high SMV and are inured to it.

        What would you say to a person who came up to you and said, “Your hair is brown” or “You’re wearing a green shirt” or “You are a human being”? That’s how you respond. Everything else involves entirely too much scrutiny over a superficial judgment.

        You worry too much about the motivations behind a woman’s words when the correct answer is to take them at face value. By actively attempting to fathom a woman’s mind, you are making yourself her supplicant and enabling her spaghetti-brain output. That’s the reasoning behind “supposed to be a dick.” When she realizes her usual tricks don’t work on you, she becomes preemptively earnest — against every fiber of her nature.

        When a woman compliments me, I simply agree with it. “I know.” It’s not because I’ve calculated that is the best response, it’s because they are generally correct. Then I will make a joke to reward the courage it took her to be forthright — the hardest thing for a woman to be.

        At a deeper level, compliment exchanges are a silly game. They feed starving egos who actively hunt for them out of insecurity. We are given greater and lesser degrees of grace, and, ultimately, the only appropriate praise must be given to the one who gave us these gifts — just like pro athletes do by pointing to the sky after a touchdown. “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.” This is where “self-deprecation” is not so much a conversational trick as it is a report of the truth.

        “By your fruits you will know them.” You don’t have to talk loud about how great you are, it will be manifest in your works. But in the interest of truth-telling, self-deprecation can be a hindrance, a false modesty that is used by schlubs who avoid praise because they can’t take a compliment/not accustomed to flattery.

        This is a good opportunity for your own meditation. Are you handsome? Then allow people to call you handsome. Are you short? Agree with it. What exactly makes you uncomfortable with people speaking truth about you? Is it because you can’t detect their motivations? Why are you on the lookout for manipulative quid-pro-quos? “Why is she telling me this, what does she want out of me?”

        Overanalysts and problem-solvers and detail-oriented thinkers have difficulty understanding the utility of naïveté. To be a man means cutting the Gordian knot rather than untying it. Keep it simple.

        Or you can interrogate her and introduce her to herself and expose how much she tries to unconsciously manipulate her world. But who has time for that? It’s easier to just be a rock against which her waves of subliminal trickery crash and scatter.



      • Matt, thank you for your note.

        Yes, I’m “handsome”. In my 20’s when I was a broke playwright wearing a stevedore’s denims I would be stopped in the street or in dive bars and invited to model. I was a strong safety in college and I’ve gained maybe 10 pounds since then. I’m in my 50’s and women in their 20’s and 30’s still talk to me in public because, I assume, they don’t realize I’m in my 50’s. Yesterday it was a 23 year-old bartender who made sure to tell me that she was 5’10” and 120 pounds. (I know, dear, I’ve been staring at your butt throughout this lunch.) And I own a software company. But I also didn’t date between the ages of 19 and 45, I was raised by a violent schizophrenic, I was the shortest guy (i.e., prepubescent) in my class until I was 15, and I didn’t learn how to talk to people until I was in my late 20’s. So the “handsome” thing is not hardwired into my brain. Just the opposite, actually.

        So in my case, I struggle to tell the difference between female game, female randomness, and, unfortunately, a truly good female. After my divorce I terminated two great relationships with good women because I didn’t think I was worthy. One was a Hollywood 10 whose name you would recognize. She chose me over a master of the universe. I dumped her. Guys like me are only smart at the office or in the rear-view mirror.

        So, I’m offering these details to better understand what people are doing when they are doing it, and I’m catching on.

        In your post the most helpful thing is the “brown hair” comment. Also, I do interrogate and break down a person’s behavior and motivations, because I’m a scientist and I have this habit of doing so professionally, with good success. But I think you’re right: what’s the point? I don’t want to be my girlfriend’s shrink. I guess it’s just a numbers game, now.


      • Your predicament makes much more sense now that you’ve provided background. That long period (19-45) of de-socialization requires much more detail to unpack, so far from the average that most reliable rules-of-thumb will not apply.

        I’m glad you found these websites, where at very least the “misfit” can come to realize he is not so much at odds with the culture as the culture is at odds with him.

        Your testimony is unique, and I hope you share it freely and often. You will have plenty to teach us about the matters we take for granted. Suffice it to say, don’t analyze dumb broads to death. You have a large enough margin for error to make a sport of this “game.” Rather than reading their minds or anticipating their moves, vivisect them, experiment on them, cut them open to see how they tick.

        (Not literally, in case you’re psychotic.)



      • Stuff she says:

        I love you.
        I miss you.
        You are so cute.
        You are so handsome.
        You are a bona-fide hunk.

        Possible responses:

        Of course.
        I know.

        If/when she comes back with a “you’re so arrogant” or similar shit-test: agree and amplify. “Fucking aye” with a self-satisfied tone and/or a smirk is a goodie.


      • on August 12, 2013 at 7:48 am Young Journeyman

        how about, “I know”


  57. This is an exceedingly cruel game you play, gentlemen, because as you well know, men provide the cuddles, the delicious cuddles, and a girl will do anything she can do to get them. She will completely humiliate herself, even lay down in front of a freight train for you if necessary, just to get those damn cuddles.

    So the first lesson of game is that men hold the power of the cuddles and if a girl wants them, she is going to have to give something in exchange, perhaps everything, which she will gladly do, because somewhere deep inside of her she knows that she stands to reap rewards that will far outweigh any benefit the man will get.

    Like I said gentlemen, this is an exceedingly cruel game, for both genders I suppose, and I don’t pretend to understand why we play it. All I know is that I am a girl who has reaped the rewards of game, tenfold, and I am grateful.


  58. on August 7, 2013 at 6:20 am Rant Casey - BR

    “I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot. There are way better looking girls you should be going after.”

    My reply to this ST is:


    Says you like her, but not necessarely says she looks good.


  59. Paraphrase Tony Montana:

    “because you look like you haven’t been fucked in forever”. Accent optional.


  60. Another exchange I just had with a girl I got talking about her fantasies about on OK Cupid.

    Her:”Why are we talking dirty so fast?” Forebrain running interference…shit test

    Me: I’m a man, you’re a woman (THANKS KRAUSER)

    Her: true….

    Then I plough on. She gets even more raunchy. We’re meeting up next week.


    • Her: Why are you talking dirty so fast?

      Me: I can speak slower if you’re writing this down for later reading.

      Austin Powers game?


  61. HER: “I’m surprised you want to bang me so bad – I’m not even that hot. There are way better looking girls you should be going after.”

    There’s so much you can say to this:

    “not even that hot? you’re not hot at all sweetheart”
    “That’s true but I’ve always been very charitable”
    “I like to bang ugly chicks from time to time. It’s my way of giving something back”
    “I like your personality *smirk*”
    “Everyone needs to practice”


  62. on August 7, 2013 at 9:49 am Dr. Murray F. Rottencrotch

    Re: Fiat citizenship.

    A few weeks ago we were discussing someone’s strategy of importing a foreign bride every 7-10 years. My remark was something to the effect of, “Trade on your citizenship before your government does.”


  63. Tell her to help you find another, hotter chick, have a threesome, and you’ll cost-average the two.


  64. Easy. “Don’t worry about it, there’s plenty of me to go around” said whilst sporting a shit-eating grin. Then proceed as before.


  65. Why are we encouraging ‘interracial’ sexual relations? He is White (presumably) and she is Asian.


    • he wants to be loved long time?


    • We are a varied group of people with varied opinions on that matter.

      I personally don’t believe in limiting men’s freedom of choice. However, one has to bear the consequences for their choices.

      All too often, the choice of limiting one’s self to a particular group and pedestalizing the women of that group above all others, is a bunch of over entitled harpies who end up dragging one into oblivion.

      Christianity led to the pedestalization of European women, and the pedestalization of European women led to feminism.

      The case that Europeans are better than others is often pressed using their “progressive” treatment of women and greater docility in men as evidence.

      Whoever you prefer to shag and/or marry, the best way to discourage interethnic relations is to understand that in a diverse environment, you are no longer competing only with people from your small village. Your competition is all kinds, and so if you are not the best choice overall and tested against multiple ethnicities, you will lose.

      I understand this may be painful to read, but rest assured, I say the same to African and Native American women who complain that we are losing our men.

      Nobody cares what you were. Nobody cares what you’ve been through. What matters is whether or not you beat the competition here and now. If you don’t, then adapt. If you can’t then you will simply not breed or not breed well. This is life. Deal.


      • Nicole, I was not being serious. I was simply poking fun at the obvious inconsistent, hypocritical, and ‘selective outrage’ at interracial sexual relationships on this site (White Male + Asian Female = good vs. Brown Male + White Female = bad).

        Personally, I think people should date, sex, and marry whomever they want.


      • I apologize then. Perhaps I’ve become a bit oversensitive since a few of our regulars are not joking when they say these things.


      • Understood


      • Robert Howard, the author of Conan and other adventure stories, had a paragraph in one of said tales about this phenomenon… I wish I could remember which story, and a search of Cyberia for portions of said quote (which alas, memory doesn’t serve) have come a cropper.

        I’ll try to paraphrase the gist of it… something along the lines of men of disparate races have no problem bonding (e.g., after battles, during feasts, etc.) with each other, and a man can easily find attraction in a woman not of his kind. But the warrior’s blood stirs when he sees a foreign interloper with designs on a woman of his own tribe.

        Modern day Cathedral-washed minds call this “hypocrisy” with gleeful snark.


      • Robert Howard was wrong. Actually, this male “warrior blood” only stirs when the desired girl is physically attractive and this warrior is trying to justify reasons why this attractive girl is not with him.

        I’m quite sure this male warrior’s blood would NOT stir if this tribal woman was a mentally retarded, paraplegic, midget.


      • Also, Robert Howard (Conan author) was a known racist. So, of course his racist sentiments will be manifest in his writings, images, and over-the-top quotes:

        BTW, Robert Howard committed suicide in 1936.


      • Sigh… Noam Chomsky called… he wants his mud-strainer back.


      • only stirs when the desired girl is physically attractive and this warrior is trying to justify reasons why this attractive girl is not with him.

        Cathedral cogdis shithouse psychology… is this South Park generation so tainted and THAT self-centered that they can understand no other motivations beyond that which directly and immediately affect themselves?

        It’s along the same nihilistic outlook that I hear too often from men who should know better, which goes something like “What do I care about 50 years from now? I’ll be gone.”

        You egocentric fairies.


      • Also, Robert Howard (Conan author) was a known racist. So, of course his racist sentiments will be manifest in his writings, images, and over-the-top quotes:

        Well soil my lace handkerchief! A known RAY-CISS! The hell you say! Guess we’ll just have to toss him on the persona non grata pile then.

        (((shakin’ mah haid)))

        You fairy.

        BTW, Robert Howard committed suicide.

        As did Hemingway, Silvia Plath, and a laundry list of others.

        Your point?


      • It’s the duty of the men of the tribe to protect the women of the tribe from external cads. Simple human biology.

        It’s also the duty of the men of the tribe to keep the bitches from running wild, and from what I can tell, white men have been more sorely lacking in fulfilling this latter role even than the former — since the latter buttresses the former.


      • Corvinus,

        Yes, the White Male created the ‘modern western liberal female’.

        And yes, clearly the White Male fucked up pretty badly, in that regard.

        And yes, the “future aint lookin so bright” for modern western relationships directly because of this massive fuck up.


  66. It seems a good dose of What Would James Bond Do In This Situation is in order. Well what WOULD he do? First,per CH,amused mastery! Second, ABC–always be closing. You dont stop and sit there with a dumbfuck look on yer face,you keep making out. Lastly,condescencion. “There there pussy cat…” She is a troublesome child. She needs to behave. (BTW:At least this clown got a BJ. But its sad she wouldnt allow him to penetrate the Jade Temple Gates)


  67. A lot of these responses are far too clever by half, and far too dweeby, far too beta-poseur.

    “It’s your lucky day babe. You’d better make the most of it.”

    “You don’t look like a challenge, and I’m feeling lazy”.

    “I’m bored of pretty girls – I’m now thrilled by…average.”

    “I know.” – then continue as before.

    “But you’re trying to bang me. Stop trying to bang me.”

    “You’re such an awful flirt. I’ll give you another chance.”

    “Don’t be such a woman”.

    You can literally say anything as long as it is ridiculous and makes her chortle. But context is important.

    @hole is the goal – “any advice on this shit test, dancing with chick then I put my arms round her grabbing her ass gently. wacks my hand away and says “do you always grab girls asses you have only just met”

    “Well, I grab their asses when I know them, too…”

    Again, if you’ve just grabbed her cold, that’s not a shit test, that’s you being desperate bro and looking it.

    Context is king, boys.


  68. Ladies and Germs:

    “(FOB, but culturally American) who is studying English in North America”

    I give you the ultimate beta. A chinawoman can be “culturally American”.


  69. Hmmmm, I see your point. Thanks for that. Followed by a big hug, then go pound someone else.


  70. Late to this party but I view it as a compliment fish rather than a shit test. Ive been the recipient of this type of remark when gaming a 6 for the easy opportunistic lay. My response was on the order of “must be your lucky day” or “lucky you” or “youre welcome” delivered with the trademark smirk.


  71. “Actually, I prefer fat chicks, but I couldn’t find with an acceptable number of folds.”


  72. After her remark:

    [pregnant pause + expressionless stare]

    “nerd. just say thanks. I’m still here.”

    As always, the non-verbal (BL, voice) will flip the script. The controlled, neutral, non-reactive, hard to read and calmly/smoothly executed frame will soak up the Tsar Bomba like the best ShopVAC- and return the energy into a sniper shot between her eyes.

    6s and 7s can be some of the most ruthless cunt ridden masculine shit testy vaginal xeno-morphs- especially when the suitor has solid game and they know he’s out of their league.

    Instead of being feminine and enjoying the exchange, they push the red button in attempt to provide their ego an excuse to disqualify the suitor by eliciting the man’s weakness; to assuage emotions by momentarily forgetting their low SMV and to perpetuate and extract gossip and social talking points. “This guy tried to hit on me etc.”

    That may be all that is needed; or another C-4 Timothy McVeigh building destroyer neg routine (or 2) to finally box her in to actually enjoying herself with a higher value man.

    Which if successful and early seduction process is achieved, shell turn into the nastiest labia-Prometheus look alike beast up for anything.

    And some are so damaged nothing will work. Which provides opportunity for lethal insulting experimentation. My favorite is: look for a roll (even if she has a great body, Doesnt matter).

    “why don’t u lay of the cheeseburgers and get to the gym.”

    And there gentlemen, you have helped her calibrate and shell find a beta and be better to him.

    We are humanitarians.



    • Welcome back!

      You might enjoy this, it is a compilation of all your comments at the Chateau. It was done by LumpyPUA who is doing God’s work:

      It’s broken down month by month too.


      • Always around. Thanks for letting me know- no idea I was archived. Been there a few times catching up on yareally.

        Im sure things are evolving for you bro.

        lumpy: my staff is building a MAN cave where the knowledge will stay protected. good shit.


  73. Common sense reply:

    “If you’re fishing for compliments, I’m not gonna bite.”


  74. […] The Self-Deprecation Nuclear Shit Test […]