CH Maxim #16: A Woman Never Falls Out Of Love With A Selfish Jerk

This post will have many detractors, but if they would stop and think about what they have actually observed happening when women and their beloved jerkboys break up, they will see the wisdom in CH Maxim #16: A woman never falls out of love with a selfish jerk.

This does not mean a woman never ends a relationship with a selfish jerk. It means that, even when the woman initiates the break-up (usually from desperate frustration at her failed attempts to extract a tiny concession toward domestication from her jerkboy), she will continue feeling strong love for the incorrigible jerk who makes her swoon.

A woman’s love, once ignited, is hard to extinguish. But there are ways in which women genuinely fall out of love. Being a jerk is not one of them.

Here is a list of the most common scenarios that can cause a woman’s love for a man to wither and die.

  • the formerly lovable jerkboy turns beta while lounging in the comfort bubble of a long-term relationship or marriage.

This is the biggest reason why women fall out of love. The charming jerkboys they once knew transformed into boring beta males suckling at their teats for emotional nourishment. Marriage/LTRs are not only fattening agents, they also acts as hardening agents on women’s hearts, and as solvents on men’s scrotums.

  • she found a higher status man.

Female hypergamy is a bitch. Darkly, women can fall out of love if they meet a man superior in many ways to their current lovers. It’s not nearly as common as scenario #1 above, because love tends to dampen women’s hypergamous instinct.

  • she lost weight and suddenly found herself the center of male attention.

Women can fall in love with lower SMV men if their self-perception is that they are themselves low SMV. But woe to the beta male who marries a fatty who later slims down (it’s been known to happen). She will “feel her oats” and her love will migrate from her loser man who settled for her to better men with options who actively CHOOSE her newly slender sexiness.

The above are the big three explanations for how women fall out of love.

What you will never see: A woman falling out of love with her man because he was too much of a charming, narcissistic, selfish jerkboy to her.

She may very well end her RELATIONSHIP with the jerk, but that’s not the same as ending her LOVE for him. In fact, you will often hear freshly single women lament their lingering love for the jerkboys they had to let go to spare their sanity (or to find a man willing to give them marriage and children). You know, you’ll hear stuff like,

“I still love him, but it wasn’t going anywhere.”

“I’ll never stop loving him, but I had to do what was right for me.”

“GOD, you make this so difficult!”

“I’ll never stop having feelings for you.”

“Is this what you wanted? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!”

“We’re done. I can’t take it anymore. You had my love, everything. Why did you throw it away?”

When a woman ends a relationship with a jerkboy, she leaves with love still fluttering in her heart. A deluge of her tears will accompany the jerk’s exit from her life. (For his part, he will leave sad, but not cripplingly sad, and not at all worried about finding another girl, and this will naturally drive the woman crazy and deeper in love.) Her words will ring with tragic exasperation, and sorrow for what she feels unwilling to do. It will take months, sometimes years, sometimes longer than that, for her to fully get over the jerk, and achieve some inner peace when she can once again give her body and heart freely to another man without the stigmata of the jerk’s love marking her out as the ex-maiden of a demon’s unearthly magnetism.

Now, compare and contrast to a woman leaving a beta male:

No love in her heart. (only pity, sometimes contempt)
Impeccably trouble-free transition out of the relationship.
No guilt, pained regret, or second thoughts.
No mention of the word “love”.
Cold as ice execution of the break-up.
Outward-focused blame, rather than inward-focused. (she blames herself for the jerk’s inability to commit to her satisfaction. she blames the beta for her loss of desire for him)
Little need to lean on female friends or beta orbiters for emotional support during the post-break-up adjustment period and follow-up rebound dating.

Women leave selfish jerks all the time. But women never really fall out of love with selfish jerks. They carry that jerkboy torch all their lives, a warm nostalgia preserving forever a faint echo of loyalty to the jerkboy and simultaneously an inconvenient barrier to any future betas who might foolishly try to win the full scope of her heart for themselves.

PS There’s a major sex difference on the theme of this post. A man will never leave a sexy woman with heaviness in his heart because she won’t commit to an LTR or otherwise follow his script for their future together. A man in such a situation will privately nurse his disappointment but never think about giving up such a fine piece of ass on the regular. If he does finally give up on her on his own terms, it will be because some other equally cute and marginally less crazy girl started showing interest in him. Men DO fall out of love, though. It happens all the time when women get older and/or fatter.


  1. In my time I have seen many unfortunate nice guys that are lonely. I’m trying to remember if I have ever met a lonely asshole.

    Liked by 1 person

    • COTM already…


    • Bang on. I’ve seen guys in the street beat the SHIT out of their girls, and the girl still walks with him after, while crying.

      I’ve seen brainless chavs doped up on weed, unable to even write their own names, with 2+ girls around them, easy sex on the regular.

      The girls who hang around with these, say they’re NICE GUYS.

      “A teenage torture victim has said she thought she was going to die as three sadistic attackers beat her with metal and wood before urinating on her in an eight-hour ordeal.”

      Summer, from Doncaster, said she considered Amy a friend and thought Jay was be a “nice guy”, but said she sensed “something was wrong” almost as soon as she entered the flat.

      Ever see a “nice guy” beta have multiple girls willingly coming to his flat? Nope.


  2. “Men DO fall out of love, though. It happens all the time when women get older and/or fatter.”

    Ouch lol

    Liked by 2 people

    • on October 2, 2015 at 6:07 pm mendozatorres

      Marbled fat


      • Must you wedge the knife in deeper? Lol

        Seriously though. I get the fat thing. Age is the hard one to get past. Even good plastic surgery isn’t helping all that much.


      • Mary Kay, applied religiously, beginning at 40. Expensive, but it works.


      • Dsgamer, it certainly helps and I do use them – as well as good genetics – but aging can only be helped so much where weight can be maintained so there’s less “marble fat” (that term lol)


      • “Honor and obey,” works wonders over 40. With that at home, 20-something mental-cases present fewer advantages.

        Diet, fitness, skin care, general health. Makeup is for hags and whores.

        Still, be prepared for polygyny.


  3. i broke up with a slut 5 years ago just to say hi to her recently with a kid life messed up and broken smile trying to win my heart again (lotsa cockas for her lozlozloz)


  4. Alpha widow song. Gut-slicing shiv to her future husband begins just short of 2:00.


    • PA, man I just can’t seem to respect a woman that does this. It gives me the willies. When I was a young guy, I would get this kind of attention from the younger girls, and I just couldn’t do it – way too emotionally clingy and shit. To me it shows a defective individual. I always wanted someone who saw value in herself. I have always wanted my woman to be my partner, egalitarian-complimentarian style. I have to admit this hasn’t always worked out that well for me – and I might have had a better life if I would have married the woman who always put me above herself, suggested I fuck her everywhere (at work, in the park, semi-public even) wanted to please me bad, always wanted to have my dick in her mouth – stuff like that. That part was great but it seemed to be at the cost of her deep-seated insecurity and that kind of repulsed me in the end. I broke it off and married someone else. A woman with more of a sense of self-worth (a very high IQ woman but not too bitchy). But then insecurities got to her too. She always thought I was fucking around behind her back, and would go on and on about it, just mindfucking me. But I wasn’t – the woman I married was 6 year younger than me and really really hot. I was married to her for over 20 years and I never stopped being hot for her, and I always wanted to fuck her at more frequency than she wanted to be fucked, so I’m not sure why she thought I was fucking around. She wanted it about 3 times a week, and I would just masturbate alot inbetween. She didn’t really like that at all at first but fuck man, I couldn’t cave on that, no way I let her paint that as repulsive. After awhile she started acquiecing to my point of view (that it wasn’t about my loss of attraction for her, how could it be, given that I found her so hot) and would want to watch me do it, and would want me to tell her stories about the girls in the porno mags, about all the dirty things I would do to them and how I would fuck them hard. And that would turn her on too and would lead to sex. And she has a great imagination and a great fantasy life too and would want me to tell her those kind of stories too, about her, when I fucked her (women really really like the fantasy of uncontrollable masculine desire for them). I really had a good sex life with her. She would watch porno flicks with me and then we would act out the shit in the flick. Awesome. She was so fuckin hot that the first time I got with her I came 7 times in about an hours worth of fucking her, and kept apologizing (because it was embarrassing, it was like I had no control she was so hot), but it didn’t matter because my dick just stayed hard and we just kept going. That is a good memory. In the first years of marriage, sometimes we would fuck from Friday night to Sunday night. Awesome. I really don’t know what went wrong with the marriage – after 15 years she just got more and more bitchy to me, (like over stupid extended family shit that had no basis in fact), and the sex frequency went down, and I didn’t want to be married anymore and she didn’t either, and so after about 5 years of that, our son was older and the financial situation was better so we divorced then (we were both on the same page about this all through this 5 years so the divorce was super easy and non-contentious, but you gotta get the right lawyer to help everyone see it that way too, when it comes to the financial stuff). I never fucked around on her. As far as I am aware she didn’t either. Near then end I wouldn’t really have cared too much if she did (which is weird). Yet, I am still good friends with her, even though its been a long while since we have been divorced (10 years or so). After all this time, and after being exposed to CH and internalizing alot of this red pill stuff, I wonder if it would have been better if I did fuck around behind her back. Maybe that would have made her feel better (but the drama over it would have been so over the moon and way way more stressful than I would have liked to tolerate, for me to have that seem like a smart thing to do). I still don’t really get it. Like this is a good woman, who is self-sufficient, is very good to our son who is in his 20’s now (as I am to him too I believe), she is capable of being very kind, she is very smart, highly skilled at alot of things, yet she is still subject to all this weird feminine internal psychic drama-producing mind-machinery. Back in the ’90’s she would watch Oprah and Oprah was dissing on men bad at that time. Guess what – every day when I came home I apparently had a new male-pathology as outlined by Oprah. What the fuck???

      And this is only one of the many women, that I could talk about, that just seem to have no handhold within their psyche’s for which I could hang on so as to penetrate what the fuck is going on. Yet in alot of ways they are completely normal. What the fuck? There has got to be more to this. I’m in my ’50’s now and I still don’t get this.

      My sister in law has explained it to me this way – women want it both ways – i.e. – they want it to be egalitarian- complimentarian, but they want to be cherished, protected and taken care of as well. OK I can abide by that – I cherish you, you cherish me, what’s not egalitarian-complimentarian about that?

      If anyone can help me out with this stuff I would appreciate it.

      From other younger thugish guys I know it seems that in the thug lifestyle, your woman wants to always feel the drama of you having other sexual options. OK I can see how that works for that lifestyle but I kind of detest the thug lifestyle (full of posturing – so fucking stupid).

      So, when I again get into a relationship (which I have been avoiding for a little while now, after bad relationships since divorced), I want it to be fuckbuddy (which I can see isn’t going to work because she is going to want more), or a committed exclusive relationship (i.e. – I don’t like getting my head fucked with). So for the latter, I have to make her feel like I have other sexual options? But I don’t want that when I’m in a committed exclusive relationship – in that case, I just want her. So I have to pretend? So fucking stupid.


      • I can help you dude…women are crazy.

        that’s it. Period. Sorry there is no rational explanation. If I told my stories, I’d go on for pages and nobody would have any better explanation for me either.


      • Fakk egalitarianism. Doesn’t work. Women say they want it, but their pussies don’t. Only complementarian relationships work. And you have to help them manage their emotions and help them understand that just because they feel bad doesn’t mean you did something wrong.


      • on October 3, 2015 at 8:02 am Captain Tautological

        Wild Man, I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume that you aren’t yet another of Tamir Pardo’s relentless PsyOps initiatives [which are turning Le Chateau into a frigging sewer], and tell you where this story goes wrong: All that epic f*cking, with the Love of your Life, produced only one child [your son]. In a healthy relationship, over the course of twenty years, it should have produced about TEN CHILDREN, but instead you and Mrs HB10 retreated into self-absorption and malignant narcissism and pornography addiction, and that particular brand of nihilism destroyed both the two of you and also the family which all that epic f*cking should have created.


      • Trav777 – thanks for you comment. Women are crazy, yes – it seems that way, until it doesn’t. It seems to be that women are a force to be reckoned with, just as much as men, like I see this in the dynamic of a larger mixed group that is not about hook-up, (though I do see that the hook-up subtext is pretty much always there in the background to some extent even with groups that are about something else). In these larger mixed groups I notice that normatively, neither gender has the upper hand (though some members of either group that are not very observant sometimes mistakenly think otherwise). This is a very cool thing about humans. So to me this is proof that women do have their shit together. Mysterious. I see what the source of the male power is – it’s exuberant aggression. What is the female correspondent? I’ve been trying to answer that question for myself for about 2 months now but am still struggling. Do you have an idea what it might be?


      • Hi theasdgamer: Thank-you for your comments. If you mean by complimentary that each party has appreciation and respect for the strengths and weaknesses of the other party and build a relationship based on that mutual respect, then I agree with you (that is what I meant by egalitarian-complimentarian). But then you said “you have to help them manage their emotions and help them understand”. In this context (mutual respect of differences) that made me think of something – I gotta see I have a responsibility to help her not get too narcissistic/afraid in her feeling/thinking but she has to help me not get too cocky/aggressive/domineering in my thinking/feeling. I never really thought of it that way before. Maybe I should be looking for a woman that can do that for me. Do you think this idea is misplaced (i.e. – this site doesn’t really seem to counsel such things and I dare say would counsel that it is foolish to look at it this way)?


      • Hi Captain Tautological:

        Thank-you for your comments too. I just can’t agree with anything you are saying because it sounds like something my Grandma would say to me (if I ever asked in such a way for her advice about my relationship problem. She would have been aghast and I would have never said such things to her, it would have been very disrespectful to do so, and I loved her and wouldn’t ever say such things to her). As well I don’t think she would have ever wished the utter responsibility of 10 children on me (I bet I would have to go back even a further generation or 2 or 3 to find a great-great-great grandma that would wish that one on me).

        But this is a men’s site godammit. I don’t get what you are saying at all. Malignant narcissism – what? Because I like sex and so did my ex? Come’on. And I wasn’t trying to brag I don’t think. I think what happened to me is pretty much the usual. People don’t get together long-term unless they really like to fuck each other – why would you get married to someone for which that wasn’t going good?

        My ex was hot (and still is) but she was never a HB10. If she was an HB10 I don’t think she would have ended up being so smart (and I like the smart). And she clearly wasn’t the Love of My Life. I’m not pining for her. Shit happens and you move on.

        I really can’t relate to one thing you say.

        But I am sincere in my desire to figure this all out.


      • Wild Man, women claim to be strong. That is their fiction. They *need* to be managed. That’s where the concept of Hand comes into play. The cognitive dissonance between “grrrrrlpowerwowjustwow” and the yearning to be dominated manifests itself in a variety of ways that are laid out here at CH.

        I’ve come to this realization late in the game, but better late than never.


      • Wild Man: “build a relationship based on that mutual respect”

        Men want respect. Women want to be liked and admired. Don’t project your own desire for respect onto women. And when women say that they want respect, they are saying that they want to be men–which ends up with them being both second-rate men and second-rate women. It’s pure feminism and ends up with the woman being pedestalized by the man and despising her mate because he pedestalizes her. The woman wants the man to be higher status than she is. Pedestalization raises the woman’s status above the man’s. Tingles are killed.

        “Complementarian” means that each has their own unique roles.


      • Hi theasdgamer:

        Thank-you for your new comments. OK I see you point. Perhaps I am projecting my own desire for respect onto my idea of what women desire. I never really thought of it that way (I guess because women agree within the edifice of group discourse, that they want respect, and behave within groups, as if they want respect). If I may, in my wondering out loud about this, perhaps the point you are making is actually even a little more nuanced, in the sense that a man has to in his mind see how much the public face and the one-on-one face of a woman is different (perhaps not in just the matter of desire for respect, but in other matters as well). Maybe I have been a bit blind to this because I constantly strive to align my own public face and my private face, as a healthy endeavor. I have found that efforts around this for me, reinforces healthy identity, my sense of masculinity, my moral judgement, what is right and wrong, etc. but … maybe I should not wish that method upon women.

        I don’t know, I am going to have to ponder this for awhile. Thanks for the insight – that will be the impetus for my further ponderings….

        chronicalibash – Maybe this is also what you are getting at with your comment as well. Thank-you for that.


      • Wild man, you need precisely zero help with this, Your initial comment and your responses indicate that you understand the situation perfectly. “So I have to pretend? So fucking stupid.” Yes, in a sense, you do, and, yes, it is “stupid.” So? Remember, this is where here pretty lies perish.

        What you really mean is you have trouble accepting the reality of what you have learned through hard-won experience. We all catch ourselves occasionally slipping and thinking that a particular woman really is more rational, future-oriented, etc. However, reality will eventually smack you in the face. So be it.

        You are doing fine, just accept the reality of the situation regardless of how “stupid,” and you’ll be much happier.

        As for the whole “Love of your Life” concept, H. L. Mencken said it better than I ever could, “Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.”

        Carry on.


  5. Maxim #16: The two fundamental propositions are male choosiness and female abundance. All alpha males have these two mindsets in common. Corollary: Male choosiness and female abundance do not necessarily have to be true for the strategy of behaving as if they are true to be effective at seduction.


    • Female abundance has to be true because if you’re a loser, you only choose which hand you’ll beat off with this Friday night.


  6. Over the years I have watched Rome the TV series wholly or partly with three different gals. All three liked the Mark Anthony character very much, who apparently was as much of a roguish bastard in real life as he is in the show.

    If you look at what Mark Anthony does, he seems unlikeable:

    –He gets money for a mission (find Caesar’s stolen eagle standard), for bribes and such, and in the next scene gives only half the money to Vorenus who is going to carry out the mission. So he obviously pocketed the rest, just like Caesar seemed to have expected him to do.

    –On the way from Gaul to Rome he has the entire procession stop so that he can fuck a shepherdess against a tree. Unclear if he paid her or just raped her, but probably the later. The men have to stand still on the road and wait. When he’s finished he bellows in triumph.

    –In Rome he pushes senators around with a smirk. Caesar specifically picked him to be consul so that he would provoke the senators into war with Caesar.

    –He talks about fucking his slaves. In one scene he refuses to get out of the bed for an important event that day unless he gets to fuck someone first – Atia has to send for one of her slave girls from the kitchen. We also see him with two prostitutes, who he orders to fight each other, naked, with real swords.

    –When Caesar’s side has won, he threatens the meek Cicero mercilessly in order to control the senate. Always with a smile. He threatens another rich old senator the same way, and does the same with Brutus. “We have the Senate and all the men of quality,” says Brutus after Caesar’s death. “And I have an angry mob, who will piss on your men of quality from the ashes of the Senate house!” counters Mark Anthony.

    ….And after all this, what women really remember is that he is fearless, that he dominates other men, that he dominates any room he is in (except when Caesar is there), that he lets Atia strike him without flinching and then takes her anyway and she relents. That he does it all with a smile.

    Steal money? Make two poor prostitutes fight with swords? Easily forgotten details. Remember that broad smile and those broad shoulders.

    I think it is also important that he is completely loyal to Caesar. Even when it seems clear that Caesar is doomed in Greece, facing Pompey’s much bigger army. Mark Anthony punches out Pompey’s arrogant messenger who had offered him to switch sides. Even when it is clear he doesn’t share Caesar’s idealism (or any idealism) he carries out his wishes and strong-arms senators into following Caesar’s decrees. I believe that Mark Anthony had been much less likable if it hadn’t been for this quality. There is a difference between rogue and rogue.


    • Excellent observations, and having watched the show myself I share your assessment. One quick note: it’s Antony, not Anthony. Wouldn’t want to confuse Marcus Antonius with J.Lo’s ex.


      • Also, they always take Atia’s side against Servilia. Even though it is clearly Atia that starts the vendetta, and makes it worse and worse, because she is jealous of Servilia’s relationship with Caesar. Even after Servilia had stood by her when Caesar defied Rome and it looked like he would lose and the Julii would be outcasts.

        They like Atia because she is more colorful, more extrovert, she smiles more and acts more and is more. She is a female, feminine version of her lover Mark Antony. Analyzing who started the fight gets in the way of admiring the alpha. They like Cleopatra for the same reason, even though she too is a schemer. In contrast to, say, Atia’s daughter Octavia, who is often hurt by her mother’s schemes. But Octavia is brooding and not colorful.


      • ….And finishing off the Rome theme, a comparison of Lucius Vorenus and his friend Titus Pullo.

        Vorenus is disciplined, responsible, gods-fearing and idealistic. But he is strict, brooding and doesn’t smile. Pullo carelessly spends his money on wine and prostitutes, but he is friendly and cheerful. We see that he even gets along well with the foreign mercenaries (when they attack the Senate’s soldiers on the way to Rome) – he seems like the kind of guy who will be at ease in any company, in any era. Both men are tough as nails, but Pullo is always easier to like.

        Pullo does become more responsible as the show progresses, while keeping his cheerful attitude, so he then outranks Vorenus even more on the likeability scale. Having your house and finances in order matters. He finally has that AND the roguish personality.


      • on October 2, 2015 at 7:36 pm Captain Obvious

        Vorenus broods because he sees the big picture, and he realizes that they are about to lose everything bequeathed to them by their Republican ancestors. Also, Marc Antony lets Cleopatra pwn his ballz, and he gets all stoner and beta in his LTR with her, and eventually the cold clinical ruthless psychopath Octavian defeats him.


      • on October 2, 2015 at 7:39 pm Captain Obvious

        I strongly agree with you on the unflinching loyalty, to the bitter end: Titus Pullo loyal to Lucius Vorenus loyal to Marc Antony loyal to Gaius Julius. And even when Titus Pullo is supposed to be loyal to Octavian, he secretly retains his true loyalty to Lucius Vorenus and the 13th.


      • on October 2, 2015 at 7:41 pm Captain Obvious


      • Whatever.
        Whenever Octavia got naked, she gave me the best boners compared to any of the others. (In Rome, everybody gets naked sooner or later.)
        Octavia wins!!!~
        I do not care about her brooding or not. I care about her intelligent tits and her highly educated ass – especially when she is down on all fours…


      • I care about her intelligent tits and her highly educated ass – especially when she is down on all fours

        I like that, I may use it one day.


      • watching tee-vee is gay


      • on October 3, 2015 at 8:21 am Captain Tautological

        CF, but how are you gonna say it to the beeyotch without laughing? There is a fine art to delivering a line like that with a straight face. I guess maybe by the time you’ve said it to the 4th or 5th ho in the thralls of “passion”, it becomes rote.


    • Although the series was hilariously cheesy, it was cheesy in a fun way, and I enjoyed it. The Mark Antony characterization was a bit different than I imagined it, and I don’t know if it quite makes sense, but it worked for the show.

      If Antony really were the personality he were portrayed as, IRL he probably would have not been 100% loyal to Caesar and turned on him at some point. Perhaps Antony just knew Caesar would win no matter what, and that he could kill him later and take the throne, or else he just figured a man with his qualities wouldn’t die as reprisals against Caesar. Or perhaps he really didn’t see much threat in Octavius (as no one did) and thought he would be heir apparent. Or perhaps he liked having Caesar as his get-out-of-jail-free card.

      But the series (and Antony in it) is fun to watch.


      • I had the same thought about the Antony portrayed in the series. As you say, in real life Antony did act loyally towards Caesar even though the English accented dude in the HBO series gave off vibes that he would not have.
        My reading of history is that societies with long-standing traditions of taking The Rule of Law seriously fall to dictators more readily when the would-be dictator goes to great lengths to maintain the appearances of legalism.
        AH certainly did in the 1930s. Julius C. certainly did in his time, and one could argue that Octavian succeeded because he understood this better his competitors. Indeed, he knew that his status as legal heir to the previous dictator was a non-trivial asset that could be leveraged.
        Also, IRL, Antony knew that he really could retire safely to “tend my fields and fook my slaves — like old Cinninatus” if he chose to because Caesar ,IRL, was a highly intelligent man who understood that loyalty works both ways


      • on October 3, 2015 at 8:25 am Captain Tautological

        The “Rum” initiative providing the legalistic analysis. Even alluding to Der Fuhrer. You simply cannot make this sh!t up – it is so frigging hilarious.


      • CT

        The story of Julius C. seizing power and un-doing the Roman Republic and his subsequent assasination by a cabal of Senators followed by civil war and the emergence of Octavian as “Caesar Augustus” is one the most studied and re-told stories in all history. All would-be tyrannts ever since have studied it very carefully – quite consciously.
        So, what thing here has been “made up”?


      • The show seems to be accurate in the general depiction of the society and historical events, and they worked in wonderful little known details that would be known only to viewers who knew some history. For instance, when Vorenus was a gang leader one of his men told him that some attacking enemy gang members were “came at us like Belgians”. To most viewers that would seem an odd way to put it, but in those days the Belgians were a German tribe particularly infamous for their ferocity in battle.
        The producers however exercised dramatic license in the details of the characters beyond what we broadly know from history. A lot of what is in the series beyond what is in books is guesswork and projection. For instance Vorenus and Pullo were real legionnaires mentioned in Caesar’s history of the Gallic wars, but in his memoirs all we know about them was that they were both centurions who were renowned for their courage in battle, and who were always competing to outdo each other in combat.Caesar wrote of one incident in which Vorenus charged the Gauls single-handed and when he was about to be overwhelmed, Pullo ran out to rescue him, then had to be saved by Vorenus in turn.


      • on October 3, 2015 at 12:38 pm Captain Obvious

        You didn’t make up anything at all – you were completely loyal to your true nature – right down to the obligatory dis of Der Fuhrer. It’s completely frigging hilarious.


      • Captain O.

        I used the example of AH as a dictator wannabe taking care to dot as many i s and cross as many T s in regard to the existing “constitution” as possible on the way to seizing absolute power because I was pretty sure you know the story. IMO, that is the best kind of example to invoke: one that the audience already understands.
        I mean, there are a lot of other examples in history of the same process, but I have reason to question whether everyone reading here would know what I was talking about.


  7. lol i told an ex of mine she looks like a man and minutes later she posted a picture on facebook with lipstick with her hair done and with an eternal ingenuistic pose xD


    • i like to bang athletic, self-absorbed, hotties (college town). one of my favorite openers is “wow! you look scary. do you take steroids?”

      it’s pretty much downhill from there lol


    • I like to tell women they look like they give bad blowjobs.

      works. every. time.



  8. …and to think I used to wonder why abused women didn’t just leave. I would really recommend some bondage/spankings to all of you men out there. It is a perfectly legal way to simulate the abuse she craves.


    • To be dominated in bed signals that the man is stronger than she is, and can therefore protect and provide. That is why women instinctively like it.

      ….and why men instinctively like it too. Men have that instinct to care for one partner and the offspring, and the instinct to sleep with many women to spread the seed. Two competing instincts. This is often forgotten, people only mention the latter.

      But does a man need that signal that the woman is weaker? Can’t he protect and provide even when the woman is as strong, or even stronger? Wouldn’t that give the offspring an even better chance of survival? I would guess that this is because the tribe is served best if the stronger is paired up with the weaker. If both are equally strong that is simply a waste of resources. Let the stronger woman (if such exists) be paired up with the even stronger man, must be the instinct. It could perhaps also simply be about the instinctive desire to win, unrelated to how it benefits the family.

      What it is not about is the feminist-supplied explanation: “Men want to exploit women because they are evil. It’s about oppression!” The ol’ Marxist oppressor-vs-oppressed theme, which ignores the demands nature place on family and tribe to be as efficient as possible, or perish in the competition. This is why evolutionary psychology is the necessary counter to feminism, and to all Marxism.


    • on October 3, 2015 at 8:29 am Captain Tautological

      I used to tell Fem!n!stX that the pain she craved from BD$M was actually the most exquisitely excruciating agony of NORMAL [email protected] CHILD DELIVERY. She seems to have disappeared from these parts, so here’s to hoping that she’s a stay-at-home Mommy now.


  9. … and that vag is yours forever too.

    hold steady, don’t take any of the beta bait. don’t worry about whether she “likes” you. (it’s actually better if she doesn’t) all that matters is that she respects you and your unshakable-ness

    eventually she’ll “leave” for more Ryan Reynolds pastures. let her because it’s necessary. it establishes your status as a secret society alpha. she’ll be thinkin of you, and after a spin with Ryan she’ll be sniffin around for some alpha cock

    make sure you fk her hard and good. that’s also seals the spell

    eventually you’ll build up quite the collection of these n you won’t have to be in a steady relationship to get daily poosy


  10. […] CH Maxim #16: A Woman Never Falls Out Of Love With A Selfish Jerk […]


  11. “Men DO fall out of love, though. It happens all the time when women get older and/or fatter.”

    That my friends is the money quote!


  12. CH,
    imo this has nothing to do with the notion of “love” but rather with Hypergamy and its optimization (or lack thereof). E.g. losing weight or meeting someone more alpha doesn’t kill the woman’s love, it just increases the hypergamous inherent doubt. “Was he really the best I could do?” And, depending upon the answer, the comparative SMVs dictate how she will feel towards her ex, whether she initiated the breakup or not. So, not much to do with love; mostly about hypergamy.Just my 2¢.


    • “Women don’t feel love, only men feel love! Women are evil creatures who just want you for your wallet, and they’ll leave as soon as they find a better prospect. Only men are loyal. Women are sluts!”

      Yes, we have heard the MGTOW refrain before. As always the fault line in the manosphere is between those who can get a date and those who can’t.


      • Just to clarify my point, in case you were responding to my comment. I am not saying women can’t feel love. On the contrary. I just think they are more calculative than men (or maybe their definition of love differs from men’s). I didn’t in the least imply “women are golddiggers” and such MGTOW stuff. What I meant to say is that the mechanism behind these decisions is Hypergamy and not “love” feelings.


  13. on October 2, 2015 at 5:54 pm The Spirit Within

    Sean Penn, 1987: Ties wife Madonna to a chair with an electrical cord, punches her repeatedly, forces her to say that he owns her pussy lock, stock, and barrel. Takes a break from the torture to buy more liquor. Comes back, forces BJ, then finally unties her. Chases her out of her own house, beating on the windows of her Thunderbird as she drives away.

    Madonna, 2010: Says Sean Penn is the love of her life.

    Look at that smirk.


    • Height : 5 ft 8


    • Well, she is a hardcore leftist who probably loves the thought of a deranged Jew abusing a White woman.


    • Ma-whore-Dona has turned into a man. Look at that face. And Sean flem ain’t sheeyit. Let him beat up a man. F them and all ‘ho wood celebs.


    • Madonna also fucked one NBA player after another. So she loves coal burning, too. Never listen to what a woman says. All bullshit/batshit.


    • When she said that Penn was the love of her life, she was In the Moment ™.


    • on October 3, 2015 at 7:43 am Captain Tautological

      The Eskimo Within lauding one of his fellow genetic psychopaths in the Aleutian Tribe. Penn’s grandmother was a Russian Ashkenazic Eskimo-ess named Melincoff, but Penn’s grandfather was a Russian Sephardic Eskimo named “Piñon” [which then became the anglicized nom-de-guerre of “Penn”]. In 1492 AD, when Ferdinand and Isabella kicked out the Sephardic Eskimos, most of the Sephardic Eskimos eventually re-settled in Holland [from where they would run the Atlantic Ocean chattel slavery trade], but some of the Sephardic Eskimos re-settled in the Ottoman Empire, and from there they migrated north to Moscow. Always on the move, the Eskimos are. Always on the move…


      • Hey, maybe Penn beat her up because he thought her name was Pinata?


      • on October 3, 2015 at 8:15 am Captain Tautological

        CC, I’m flattered that Tamir Pardo assigned you to my case, but if the Black Hats find out that you’re violating the Sabbath, then they’re gonna kick your sorry Reformed ass. And for what? They exempt themselves from serving, they marry that tight virgin Black Hat pu$$y when they’re only teenagers, and they already have four or five progeny by their mid-20s? Whereas you’re all alone in your Muter’s basement, whacking off to that ancient Bar Rafaeli poster on the wall? It ain’t fair, man – them Black Hat cowards ain’t worth defending.


      • on October 3, 2015 at 10:09 am The Spirit Within

        Double your meds, Captain.


  14. yep.

    in one of the last arguments before i finally left my ex i told her she wasn’t hot enough to be such a bitch.

    she was a nightmare. bitter feminist who blamed all her past failures on everyone and everything else. totally dependent on me to be her rock and best friend because she couldn’t keep decent friends. but she was never grateful for anything i did. she was naggy, sarcastic, and embarrassing to bring around my friends and family.


    if she had made an effort to look good for me. wore her hair down, put on makeup, wore feminine clothes, etc. i probably would have stayed longer.


    • that comment was meant as a reply to The Spirit Within.


    • on October 2, 2015 at 7:19 pm The Spirit Within

      I’ve been there too, 88. The one difference is that mine actually did make the effort to look good. It didn’t stop her nagging/bitchiness from killing our love, though it did slow the death somewhat.


      • Yes, at some point, you have to throw in the towel. An Alpha would give this maybe up to 6 months with a hot woman. A Beta would never leave. In fact, a Beta would probably get on his knee and propose.


  15. Reading Heartiste’s insight on women has made me think.
    Could unrestricted sexuality be a direct harm to civilization?
    We cannot have a society in which every female finds sexual attraction more important than family and nation. Divorces, plummeting birth rates and overall bitchiness at workplaces is a clear sign of this. Sure, we can blame feminism for restricting men’s sexuality and thus making men sexually unattractive to women. But unrestricted male sexuality isn’t much better either. We can’t have a society in which men in their thirties go from woman to woman and avoid contributing to society in fear of it not directly benefiting himself. Society needs beta males working their ass off in the name of science, art, war and industry, as well as young housewives sacrificing their youth to raise children. Society cannot consist only of selfish alpha jerks pretending to be serial killers and aging club sluts being way over due for a kid. Sure, the chaos of modern industrialization and capitalism has given a boost to society by using hook-up culture to make people stay single way into their late twenties, in order to study for college and provide cheap labor. But we can all feel that the current political system is a fragile house of cards in danger of falling any moment. It won’t last forever.
    Perhaps religion was right in trying to control sexuality, rather than letting sexuality control society.
    As described in this article; women aren’t sexually attracted to well-functioning husbands. So can we even trust sexuality to lead civilization?


    • wrong; this is wrong. Women ARE attracted to well-functioning husbands; men simply aren’t functioning well anymore. Their lives have devolved into soft apathy and negro worship.

      White society is simply sitting back and PAYING brown hordes to destroy everything their ancestors spent centuries creating


      • Depends on your definition of ‘well functioning’. For society’s sake well functioning men would be creative and/or adventurous types who sought knowledge and achievement in some form or another. For sexuality’s sake well functioning is any alpha-jerkboy no matter how productive or unproductive he was in advancing humanity.


      • If you ever read Craigslist Casual Encounters the W4M page, it seems to have gone from fake postings from hookers to real white women looking for black cock. From what I hear this is happening more and more in college too. We are being rejected by our women who we fought and died for to give them this safe secure life in western civilization and are now being discarded.


    • Anonymous. – I agree with some of what you are saying – “Society cannot consist only of selfish alpha jerks pretending to be serial killers and aging club sluts being way over due for a kid”.

      I think this site does have a universal message appropriate for adults of all ages, however, for some of the specific examples used by this site to show the red-pill dynamic in action, it doesn’t really address attitudes and circumstances around the inter-gender dynamic that are more common among the older age set (for instance I’m in my ’50’s and I don’t have any interest whatsoever in presenting myself as a selfish jerkboy, attractive women included).

      I have some associates in their later ’30’s whereby the way this post is presented, would really apply to some of these thug guys I know.

      For me, the thing is, with women (and men), I want to control the frame when I feel like it, share it when I feel like it, but I don’t like submitting to someone else’s frame – that makes me very uncomfortable. I fuck’in hate any sniff of coercion. To me that does not make me a jerk, or selfish, or anything like a serial killer.

      CH – is future provision of some of your posts that would encompass circumstances and attitudes around the inter-gender dynamic of the older set be something you would consider for this site?


    • on October 3, 2015 at 7:28 am Captain Tautological

      > “Reading Heartiste’s insight on women has made me think. Could unrestricted sexuality be a direct harm to civilization?” ——— YES, AND THIS WAS ESKIMO PSYCHIATRY’S MASTER PLAN FOR DESTROYING WESTERN CIVILIZATION AND THE WHITE RACE AND CHRISTIANITY. From Marx through Freud and Marcuse and then on to Alinsky and Kahnemann, the first major assault was to unleash the insanity of female hypergamy, followed by a second wave of chemical/cultural castration of the little White boys. Along the way, Eskimo Psychiatry discovered the power of adding the “Mandingo” aspect to the female’s [email protected] phantasy, thereby adding mudsharkery and melungeon adulteration of the White gene lines to their arsenal of destruction.


      • Captain Tautological:

        I’ve been hearing quite a bit about this Eskimo Psychiatry conspiracy among the comments on this site, over the past couple of weeks (when I started looking at the comments section of CH posts – I have been reading CH alot longer). However I think CH promotes this Eskimo Psychiatry conspiracy idea as well. You guys gotta provide more proof for such an extraordinary claim, in order for it to pass the sniff test (empericaly -speaking). So far I have been pointed to Kevin Macdonald’s (evolutionary psychologist) theories (by Greg Eliot). I think KM’s theories do illuminate quite a bit about the real possibility for innate differences, via selection pressures, for western europeans vs. middle easterners. But this Eskimo Psychiatry conspiracy idea goes well beyond anything in the KM camp that is convincing with respect to such an extraordinary claim. I have already commented quite a bit about this over the last week, pointing this out. To date no one has given me more to go on here to point me to more convincing material that might support this Eskimo Psychiatry conspiracy theory. Alternatively, I have found that Israel Shahak has outlined some ideas that more simply explain the unusual confluence of circumstances we see around the issue of the Jewish community at this time. At it wasn’t very hard to find this alternative view that makes more sense.

        Convince me. Give me more to go on.


    • CH addressed the issue of male promiscuity when it is allowed is not at all civilisational

      but what can you do, when society doesnt work for you, you make the best you can out of it


    • Unrestrained sexual choice by either gender isn’t conducive to civilization.

      [CH: yes, but unconstrained female sexual choice is much worse, and much more invidious, to civilization.]


  16. To CH et al.,

    This may be too theoretical / improbable a series of questions, but I’m still curious:

    1. Assume beta male. Assume beta male has read CH and actually lands on that one post about how to deal with break-ups, and let’s say he’s had a come-to Jesus moment and is waiting for the girl to break up and does the awesome CH responses (my best is the “patting” on the thigh and giving some breezy response to her breaking up with him). How does this affect the girl’s mindset? Normally you’d expect the girl to expect the beta to do the typical beta things after a break up (e.g., begging, pleading, crying, agreeing to be friends, constantly bothering her, constant contact, etc.). But if he miraculously manages to accept her break up with even a facade of equanimity (CH-style), knowing that at the least he’s got to save face (knowing, also, that he’ll just cry into his pillow AFTER she’s gone)…how would that affect the girl? would the girl think: wait. maybe he’s not so beta after all? Or would she simply do the CH-post above, i.e., drop him without a second thought?

    2. Assume scenario number 1 but instead of reading CH’s post on how to handle a break up the beta male lands on CH’s classic post on Dread Game and knows that — being too beta — it’s unlikely he can do any of those dread manoeuvres, except one – and that is the nuclear option. He gets the drop on the girl by about a day, let’s say for convenience. He manages — luckily enough — to dump her before she dumps him (again he cries into the pillow). Does this change anything above?

    I’m curious whether the poor beta in # 1 and #2 would be able to — however “accidentally” — to elevate his beta status, even if for a moment, at the end of it all.

    I’m just speculating. It may be that # 1 and # 2 may be pseudo-examples, like can God create a mountain he can’t move type of example.

    I also wonder how this would apply — shudder/heaven forbid — to the fat girl scenario. I recall CH had a post eons ago — hilarious! — about a guy who dumped his fiancee because she was too fat and that the fiancee after she lost weight was still trying to “work things out” with the dumper. You’d assume the guy must’ve been beta at some level to have got himself engaged to a fat fiancee, but then his physical disgust must’ve someone given him a brief moment of alpha-ness (contextual, maybe?) to dump her just as they were about to be married? THe puzzler is that the fiancee lost weight. So presumably her options expanded. Yet she still went back to the dumper…..


    I guess for me this is the case that if you suspect you’ve been beta and you see signs of a relationship eroding or withering, you either pull dread game or you do a) how to handle a break-up or b) go nuclear with preemptive…?

    P.S. this actually happened to me after the fact…one girl had cold-hearted dumped me per the above CH post (right to a tee), and already had a guy lined up, etc. (unsurprising, of course to CH readers). But interestingly enough, she confessed to me during this whole process of cringeworthy jumbotron fail — that had I dumped her, things would’ve been different. Of course, that didn’t happen, and so she had the luxury to say that. But that thought’s been stuck in my head ever since. The preemptive dump (& CH has mentioned how this does a number on girls)…



    • @Noel “”But if he miraculously manages to accept her break up with even a facade of equanimity (CH-style), knowing that at the least he’s got to save face (knowing, also, that he’ll just cry into his pillow AFTER she’s gone)…how would that affect the girl? would the girl think: wait. maybe he’s not so beta after all? Or would she simply do the CH-post above, i.e., drop him without a second thought?””

      I’ve written ad nauseum about this but will share my biggest learning. By wondering what the girl is thinking, you’re ignoring your own pain and moving on from it. It’s a convenient way to distract yourself from whatever learnings were involved and moving on.

      If the girl broke up, for whatever reason, you must move on. There is something hardwired into a girl in which coming back or thinking of her after a break up immediately lowers your value.

      After crazy ex broke up with me the first time, I ignored her. A week later she came crying back, we got back…great for 6 weeks. Then, meantime she’d found another orbiter to cushion the next more brutal break up with me.

      Two years later, she still pops in and out of my life like a virus—the latest was on her birthday while I was djing a party she and her friends came to. After previously sending me a nasty text 2 months ago which I ignored, she tried a different tack to get my attention, offering me birthday cake. I just looked up from whatever I was doing, said “leave it on the counter” and continued doing whatever I was doing. The point is, damaged women who bolt and then try to come back do so for themselves not out of any sort of true longing.

      If you broke up with her, then there is probably a better chance of her still being attracted. But overall, my suggestion is to stop even entertaining thoughts of “What’s she thinking?” She’s not thinking, she’s reacting to some trigger: could be anything, a movie, seeing an old couple holding hands, remembering something from her childhood, seeing a tv commercial etc.

      Any outreach to you is not out of a longing or concern, it’s out of a need for your attention. That is your most valuable commodity. It’s flattering, but don’t fall into the trap of thinking your aloofness has somehow reversed her decision to leave.


      • @walawala — thanks for your insights and the lessons learned from your own pain…

        I’m thankfully not in that situation now — but I was reminiscing about a situation I had years ago in which I did suffer — beta style — but what struck me as noteworthy was what the girl then had said to me — had I broken up with her rather than vice versa — that somehow I just remembered when reading CH’s posts. It made me think that if a relationship is souring and dread game isn’t enough to save it, then the only way is to get the drop on her first or to brace yourself with equanimity when she drops the hammer….

        I hope this girl who pops in and out of your life isn’t throwing your game….


      • Wont answer all the many questions you pose Noel… But something to consider. After a year of dating my now wife threw the old “confused” kind of theme at me and basicaly broke up with me. She thought in her crazy girlish way we would still hang out and be friends and all. I told her flatly we certainly would not be friends and would likely never see each other again.

        A few days later she met a mutual friend, an older woman who told her she heard we broke up and was so sorry to hear it.

        A day later she then shows up with her friend at my house. I was hanging with a buddy. She had on a skin tight dress and no panties. We all went out together. She later that night confessed how running into the woman made it clear to her that we were through forever and scared the shit out of her… Epic sex then followed.

        For the next year – happiest of my life tbh – i had unreal hand in the relationship to an amazing degree… So much so we ended up married a year later, now 25 years on. Hand persisted right up until child 1 came along… Year after wedding… Another story.

        So if it is all just a massive shit test, yes you can pass it…


    • Dread is the glue of a relationship. Women always have Dread working for them. Men need it just as much.


  17. To CH et al.,

    how would the analysis go if — by some stroke of luck — the beta male in this scenario somehow manages to:

    a) get the drop on the disgusted/disenchanted girl and dump her first and thereby stealing her thunder?


    b) blithely accepts the break up and does something wonderfully breezy like saying “well, thanks for letting me know. Please let yourself out. I’ve really got to take a shit now.”

    The above I”m gleaning from two previous classic CH posts (I think a) is from dread game and b) is from how to handle a break up).



  18. This assumes of course that somehow the beta has enough self-clarity to know that the relationship is doomed and that the only control he can exert is a) hastening its end or b) going Buddha-Zen-like with breezy equanimity (at least in front of her; he may cry into his pillow in private)…


    • B. Buddha like Zen breezy like equanimity/neutrality

      Perfect. Ideal way to be in response to most situations in life, imo.


      • yes…ideal….

        but I’m curious how even a display of this (however theatrical and false; you know, the poor beta is crying on the inside type of thing) — assume it’s convincing enough in front of the girl — how this would affect the girl’s perception of the beta male, if at all. Because she was going to dump him anyway and she was expecting the usual waterworks from him. But instead he outrages her by getting the drop first or deflates her sense of drama (she may find the beta weeping and gnashing repulsive, but presumably it’s strangely comforting to know that her decision to dump him was correct since he’s now behaving so beta and also feeds her vanity that she’s got such a hold on him and could get under his skin).


      • I know when my friends have had guys suddenly act disinterested in them, they’ve started questioning why – even a little with guys they themselves lost interest in. And at least you go out looking good.


      • lots of times when a guy “suddenly lost interest” its because he got the notch. women often omit this detail from their “I got ghosted” stories, they don’t want to believe putting out can vaccuum the attraction out of a guy that quickly, especially when it had the opposite effect on them, but the novel new nookie brings a clarity that had been clouded to the man in pursuit.


      • on October 2, 2015 at 7:54 pm The Other Anonymous

        Nod your head in bemused agreement – then ask her for a ‘quickie’.


      • Shartiste – yes that’s true. What about guys who lose interest when the woman won’t put out? There’s a fine line in that area… not too soon/not too late or maybe there’s no set rule. I don’t envy the dating scene for young people.


      • 1. I assume the “questioning why” that you describe when a guy a girl has lost interest in has lost interest in her is relatively minor and doesn’t reach the level that CH is describing (the classic “he was and still is the love of my life”, but it was impossible to live with the bastard — a line you could hear from someone like Ava Gardner or Elizabeth Taylor). I assume it’s mild, as if you’re wondering whether you should’ve kept the dress instead of returning it?

        2. Yes, the beta would go out in style, but going back to # 1 — how much of a lasting memory would it be? In CH’s analysis, if the girl dumps the alpha because of issues of commitment rather than love, she’ll still pine. But the beta who in response to being dumped acts cheerful, pats you on the leg, and then says: great…you mind handing me the remote control? I don’t like watching the news. Too depressing….” — that guy I’m wondering. The girl who just dumped him and who is now walking out the door asking her what just happened…how is she to regard beta now?


      • As for how she’ll view the guy afterwards I think it depends. If she bought his nonchalant departure for truth she’s questioning if there’s a new girl maybe or he’s maybe not so beta after all. It’ll raise doubts one way or another, even if temporary and she may see him in a different light going forward.


      • Ps. Honestly I don’t think you can go wrong with any advice you get here. CH and even many commenters I’ve seen, seem to know pretty well how females think.


      • GCOTY (Girl Comment of the Year)


      • Your sincere flatter is very appealing, despite any marbling.


      • vicky, personally the only times I’ve ghosted on a girl before sex are girls I would have ghosted on after sex. If what they wanted was commitment, or at least the upper hand to be the rejector, they were in a lose-lose situation right from the start.

        if a girl is pretty/sweet enough, and a guy is okay with committing, she can always wait another date to put out. the hard and fast 3-date rule is a good for player’s efficiency but it is a bit autistic and uncalibrated if a guy is going for girls who are not yet cock-carouseled. Read through some of Krauser’s field reports. He takes 5 or 6 dates with some of these virgins. My last girlfriend put on the 7th date and I would have waited another. There was a gradual buildup towards the deed that was charming and natural, and far more intense and pleasurable than it would have been had it happened right away.

        [CH: the 3 dates to sex rule is really more of a rolling average. more practically, what you should aim for is a range. some girls will put out on the first date, other will wait until date 5 or 6. so your average should be around 3 dates (assuming you date frequently enough to build up a decent sample size). the real trouble starts when your average hits six or more dates. that’s when you know your game has a flaw that’s causing girls to reevaluate you during those initial dates.
        agreed, btw, that better girls will make you wait a little bit. as long as it’s obvious she’s trying hard to control her passion in your company, waiting doesn’t have to be a warning of problems ahead.]


      • Seems fair Shartiste though it’s changed a bit since I was younger – and even though in CH terms any woman over 30 should hang it up, there’s still some good insight here I can pass to my friends. And to think, initially I found this site for the politics 🙂


  19. An absentee father is the king jerkboy.


  20. I would also add getting new boobs on a thin girl as the same as a plump one thinning down. I’ve known lots of friends who lose their woman after she gets a big set of tits installed.


  21. on October 2, 2015 at 9:01 pm Real American

    When you talk about game,relationships,or woman you are dead on- almost like a guru or spiritual leader. I seriously believe you may be better than Roosh or Rational Male when it comes to women and relationships. I am an older man and have used your lines on women when age is an issue and they never fail, you really have women and their mental gymnastics down to a science and I commend you. When you go into race, politics, and world issues you are completely off-especially as it relates to Putin, Russia, and American political realities. Putin is a terrible leader, America is on a downtrend but still controls the world economy, and the President does not matter. I really think you should travel to Russia, Ukraine, Brazil, and Western Europe. I go to Roosh V Forum and read the over 40 portion, you commented there so I know you are not stupid.

    [CH: i’ve never commented there.]

    I cannot tell if you race troll for fun, or if you mean what you write. If you think black people in the US are horrible and diversity + Proximity = War, I urge you to go to Russia and see that Homogeneity +Oligarchy=Disfranchised,Dishonest Populace.

    [noting black dysfunction isn’t the same as claiming all white societies are pure as the wind-driven snow. but… degrees of dysfunction matter.]

    The only reason that Putin is in Syria is to see if his presence has any effect.Russia voted in the UN against the Serbian conflict, US went any way. Russia voted against the Iraq war, US said fuck you and did it anyway. Russia voted against Syria campaign, US said fuck you and went anyway-so now Russia is attempting a physical presence to see how it goes. We have steam rolled them since 1989 and made them irrelevant-Syria is Putin’s last ditch effort to make us care about them and it will not work. Plus we are winning Ukraine and have economically isolated Russia, who do you think China will side with if it really comes down to it?

    I do not say any of this to disrespect you, I like your blog and your early work, but the US is winning and you are American. Respect Putin, but do not take his side. He is losing and he hates us.


  22. I have an odd confirmation of this, too.

    I know this woman who is really attractive, but I met her when I was still a full fledged beta. As I woke up to RP, I changed my game to be more of a jerk and it actually did draw her much closer. She pursued me and always showed strong signs of significant interest (Its a VERY complicated situation that I’m not getting into). Long story short, beta-transformation me fucked up several times and I’m fairly certain she’s not going to fuck me.

    However, we see each other once every week or so for other reasons.

    And she can’t stop talking to me. She can’t stop getting in arguments with me (she LOVES those….especially the ones I trounce her at). She tells me I’m an asshole, or annoying, or a jerk fairly frequently *but she won’t stop talking to me.*

    Guys, we all know that when a woman is truly done with you, you no longer exist. But jerkboys don’t ever stop existing to her.


    • You are wasting a god awful amount of time on your oneitis. NEXT TIME you see her, start kino escalation and leading her around like a man. If she says no, look her in the eye and tell her very calmly you have zero interest in spending time with her unless there is sex.

      That is how a jerk boy does it. Have no fear of losing her because you have nothing anyway. Approach lots of women.


    • After one or two “dates” of non-sexual type (no kissing, no fucking, no kino), you were long before thrown to a garbage bin called “friends” (or “people I’d only talk not fuck”). Exiting from her trash can is nearly impossible. Your only chance is next time to surprise her and start invading her personal space ASAP BEFORE she has a chance to think and react. This only works if she’s of any worth (feminine, kinda weak) and your dominance game is flawless. Should work in THEORY, but I’ve never heard of one fucking his oneitis…


  23. UN’s incompetence is nothing new, but what. the. fuck. is. this. Days might not be far where men will be jailed for “eye-rape”.


  24. I had a friend go through a breakup of a LTR a few months ago. About 2 months before it happened I told him to be ready for it, cuz I could tell she was getting really bored of him. Naturally it ended, and he lamented for months about it, also expressing disbelief ever so often that she’d moved on so easily, which of course made him more angry and depressed. She’s the one that initiated the breakup and she just didn’t really care at all.

    I also have a bit of experience with this. I had a LTR in highschool during my senior year. I showed less interest in the girl at first when it started, blowing her off to do other stuff all the time when she texted me. Then I started giving a shit. I bet you guys can guess when past me’s LTR started to go towards the dumps. Hint: it wasn’t when I was not giving a fuck.


  25. the formerly lovable jerkboy turns beta while lounging in the comfort bubble of a long-term relationship or marriage.

    i.e., when the guy is dumb enough to change to make her happy.


  26. From my experience, it’s reason #1 all the time (losing frame). Once you achieved an alpha image, they will dig for you AS LONG AS you keep that image. If they didn’t manage to have sex with you (for eg., your best friends’ wifes), the moment they see you again they reignite their interest (for the added reason you have ignored them all along).

    To be honest, I find their reaction perfectly understandable: it’s as normal for them to only like masculine men as it is for men to only like feminine women. The only difference is that men are much more willing to compromise on that…


  27. It’s too late for a long post, but I wanted to quickly report that I approached a girl two weeks back at a party, set up a date and banged her in the back of my car on said date tonight.

    She went cold after I first text her, and I thought it was over after that. With a little input from CH and friends, though, I was able to re-engage her and move things along.

    I also number closed a cute cashier this morning, who I blew off for my date tonight, and another girl I met a few months back contacted me unexpectedly yesterday. I have the makings of a solid rotation, and it’s largely the result of implementing the stuff I’ve learned here.

    This is the end of my gay, sentimental post.


    • had to dust this off… Cheers you homo!


      • Indeed. She spent the night yesterday; we were having sex before I could finish making dinner.

        The potentially bad news is that she slept with my bass player a month ago. She’s also a 23-year-old sorority girl, so I don’t see this maturing into a committed relationship. But I could keep her around while I continue cold approaching.

        As usual, I’ll happily take advice on balancing the two. The girl I number closed the other day called me last night while sorority girl and I were hanging out.


      • Why would you even think of any MLTR, when your German is coming along so nicely…?


      • There is spinning plates and then there is a harem… so set something up with the sorority girl while she is hot and you are in an abundance mindset. and then see how much tighter your game will be with her because you really WGAF… LOL


      • Quick update on cashier girl:

        I’ve blown her off twice in two days, though it was because I banged sorority chick both days (and a third time today). I exchanged a few texts with her today and set up a date for Wednesday.

        Her: This weekend I did blahblahblah

        Me: nice. i turned the lion king into a drinking game with my cousins. do try it sometime

        Her: Haha how does that work

        Me: everytime simba sings/dances take a shot

        Her: Ooo I wanna play this game

        Me: funny, im recruiting players

        Her: I like ur style haha I’m just gonna hand her my phone and say put ur number in there. so smooth lol

        Me: yeah im shy…lol lets meet up this week

        Her: Haha apparently not

        Her: And yeah maybe if ur lucky

        Me: snort. it would be your pleasure

        Her: Haha I’m just messing with you

        Her: I’d love to this week

        Then we set the meet. Hooray.


      • Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem!

        nice handling of the shit test. Illustritive for many – even when they are obvi into you, they will still run a ping shit test just to amp up their own attraction and feelz! It’s never about you as a person it’s always always always about them in some form. Solipsism.


      • I was reflecting back on the Westin girl today… how solipsism and projection work. she opened me by asking if I was a Professor. I knew she was projecting, but just thought typical higher status guy stuff, Dr Lawyer banker etc. heard it plenty.

        However… she had a masters in Psych from Smith… I just thought, OK she’s just a headcase, normal stuff play along… Luckily my game has always had a natural kind of feeling to it, the sense to not give someone either something they want or they would expect (like a pretty girl seeking a compliment or expecting a compliment and you discuss her smarts instead) so I could parry and thrust. Nothing lost.

        However… she kept on about the professor thing and now it falls into place very clearly ex post facto… she was turned on by a professor at some point and was projecting her fantasy of doing something with her professor. My dominant and aloof game played right into that dynamic… non needy non chasing and after she almost choked me with her tongue I went back actually in a firm leading/teaching way “slowly… like this…” Kind of exactly how a 40’s professor would handle a 20’s girl…

        LOL… Projection…


      • Set up a date with the third girl, who reached out unexpectedly, for Saturday. The week is off to a pleasant start.


      • nice handling of the shit test.

        I thought of the Chateau when I saw it: “Right on cue, there it is.” lol

        I also thought her answer was interesting. “I was just messing with you” is as close as most girls will get to understanding what they’re doing when administering a shit test.


  28. I’m happy to be alpha just as everything turns from gold into shit. What a nice consolation. I don’t do even half the ‘orrible little bastard shit online people call alpha so this piece has been reassuring.


    • I’ve a sneaky suspicion that this culture online takes what is true and tacks a lot of ‘orrible little bastard shit on to it to manipulate people and fuel the sense of being a victim so common amongst the men on here. It’s a classic cult trick.


      • Your concern is noted. Trollololol


      • on October 3, 2015 at 8:07 am Captain Tautological

        UKIP: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Tamir Pardo has PsyOps employees posting here constantly, always trying to nudge The Narrative in a direction which is beneficial for the Eskimos and deleterious to the White Race. ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!! – God gave them to you for a Reason.


      • Captain T

        Righto. Do NOT trust your instincts. But you can trust Rum….
        Because I am not like the others.


  29. It’s one thing to end a marriage; it’s quite another to make your hatred of your spouse as public as humanly possible, which is exactly what Dickens did. In 1836, a then-unknown Dickens married Catherine Hogarth; by all accounts, it was a pleasant enough marriage, resulting in 10 children. Then, Catherine got fat. This was apparently an unforgivable sin in the Dickens household, where the ability to push out 10 kids must surely mean you can at least do a couple push-ups right after.
    So he went and got himself a mistress, 18-year-old actress Ellen Ternan. Now, cheating on your wife because she got old and overweight is bad, but what happened next truly exposed Dickens as a douche on the level of any evil orphanage shutter-downer in his books. Once his affair was made public in 1858, he went on the warpath, slandering his estranged wife in newspaper after newspaper and letter after letter. According to him, Catherine was a “donkey,” an “unloving and unloved mother,” not his intellectual equal, and entirely to blame for saddling him with so many noisy-ass children. What, was he banging her under the influence of hypnosis?

    His annoyance over so many kids didn’t stop him from claiming custody of nine of them, with only the oldest, Charles Jr., being financially independent enough to flip his father the finger and stay with his mother.


  30. The question is how do you for what reason she left you?

    If she keeps contacting you after with simple “how are you”than she probably left you for the reason number 2 (jerk boy).If she left you for being a beta-she will never contact you.Ever.Correct me if I am wrong.

    Sometimes this shit is illogical.I had a girl last year who left me for an obvious beta.In fact, a beta who was known to be one, practically a stalker.Ugly as fuck incel. This was a mystery and still remains. She dumped him after 2 months.She attempted to contact me checking on my well being after.Your theories,gentlemen.


  31. Alpha of the Month, and possibly The Trumpening effect in play. A central Florida newspaper’s editorial office are not SJW-infested. H/t Vox Day.

    [CH: signs of life left yet in Whites Americans.]


  32. Great example — Linda Hamilton and James Cameron.

    Hamilton reports their marriage was hell. Then Cameron left her for a younger woman.

    Despite all that she still loves him.

    Hamilton, in 2010: “I’ve never loved anyone like that since and if I did it would be a different game.”

    Be like James Cameron.


  33. A man must know that it doesn’t matter what a women wants, the only thing which is important is what they Need. The two are usually very different.



  34. Reblogged this on XWorkx.


  35. CH – I had a theory about why guys seem to be more attracted to young chicks these days. Is it because women are so fat… Historically women have gotten fatter. Which would make a younger chick more attractive because they havent packed on the pounds yet. Think theres something to that?


  36. I’ve discovered this blog in the last few months, and it’s depressing, because it’s true. I tried every rationalisation to deny it, including “surely not all women are like that”, but there’s no getting round it.

    I see this in my parent’s own relationship (my Father has been a faultless Husband to my Mother for over 40 years and rock of a Father, yet my Mother despises him and openly disrespects him in front of others, they also sleep in separate beds).

    I feel a mixture of embarassment (for the ridiculous, pointless things I’ve done around women in the past), horror, and abject sadness (what’s worse is I’m a paper alpha, as this site describes it, I’m 6’4″, 210lbs, 44″ shoulders, 36″ waist, good job, yet I can’t even pull 5s, and have spent literally years between relationships, where I don’t so much as even get a peck on the cheek. The stories in alpha of month read to me like a world I could scarcely believe exists, and one which women vehemently never admit to).

    If anyone is reading this, what on Earth do you do (I’m no troll, this is a genuine question)?

    I can’t pretend to be an “aloof jerk” as a strategy for avoiding loneliness and celibacy, it just isn’t in my nature, and I know any attempt to fake it would fail because of the incongruety with my true self (a girl I met last week told me at the end of our interaction that she knew within a minute of meeting me that I was nice, and that was despite me trying, probably very clumsily, to implement some of the advice on this site).

    But why would you want to fool a psychologically mixed up individual (that would be pretty much all women I’ve ever met) into liking you in the first place, especially for the long term, it seems suicidal? Nor do I have any desire to pay for professionals either.

    What a bloody mess.


    • on October 3, 2015 at 12:19 pm Captain Obvious

      > “I’m 6’4″… what on Earth do you do?” ——— PRO TIP: Online, use websites like Match which allow you to filter for only tall girls. Put your filter at 5’10” and go from there. In reality [aka meatspace aka Day Game], walk right up to every tall chick you meet and start chatting her up. Tall chicks are thirsting for love because so few dudes have the gonads to even say “Hello!” to them. Also, if you’re nervous, then try “Game Game” on her – talk her through how it’s such a terrible mistake for you to be nice to her or to compliment her and about how you know that she wants a bad boy, not a nice guy, and especially how she doesn’t want to be around you when you start “Breaking Bad” and losing your temper and going Cave Man on her a$$ [even though that’s precisely what she wants you to do anyway].


      • on October 3, 2015 at 12:24 pm Captain Obvious

        Examples of Meatspace tall chicks: Women’s swimming team, women’s basketball team [the tall non-dyke White chicks who play basketball are simply ACHING for your c0ck], women’s volleyball team, etc. You take out a 6’0″ or taller chick like that, on a date, and if you can even string together more than a couple of coherent sentences in a conversation, then by the end of the evening, you’ll be drenched in furious animalistic f0rnication.


      • on October 3, 2015 at 12:32 pm Captain Obvious

        > “losing your temper and going Cave Man on her a$$” ——— Their mouths SAY that they don’t want you to do that, but their true desires are betrayed by their suddenly moistening [email protected]’s [as they witness your terrifying masculinity finally awaken from its slumber].


      • Thanks, I’ve replied at the bottom of the thread.


      • p.s. the comment is awaiting moderation, it’s quite long.


    • Make friends of aloof jerks and hang out with them a lot when they are around women. Their attitudes will rub off on you. Avoid supplicating, sycophantic manginas as friends and lose any of them that you have as friends. They are lead weights.


      • Hey thanks,

        I’ll try this too. I’m trying to think of where I can meet up with a jerk, I’ve never had friends like this. I work in a highly technical field, where everyone I meet on a daily basis is male, very intelligent, good natured, and crap with women.

        The Captain’s sports club idea is good, I can use that to meet women as well as make friends with jerkish blokes.


      • 1. Make women work for your attention. Parcel it out carefully and only if it advances your purpose. Make sure women are competing for your attention.

        2. Keep friends who will help you advance your purpose. Keeping others will diffuse your energy.

        3. If someone is overweight or undermuscled, eat food and work out in order to advance your purpose of being fit.

        Notice a pattern there?


      • Putting my own advice to practice.

        At a large country bar, I started out last night with another guy who is also an aloof jerk, but he wasn’t being fun. I wasn’t being waited on by the waitress and moved to the table of a friend who said that the waitress was working hard and gave good service. Sitting at a nearby table was a fun married guy who is also an “aloof jerk”. (Not really, he gives the waitresses lots of tips. He’s a nice guy. He’s a lot of fun.) I moved to his table where he and another friend were sitting and we had a good time. The fun rubbed off on me. The waitress was all over me all night. Even though I only tipped her minimally, she was hot for my attention.


      • tuff truth right here. to advance you gotta leave dead weight behind, in some cases it could be your best friend. in pursuit of bettering yourself you cant prop up someone else.


    • There will be a looooong post for you tomorrow in the new thread. Will be in mod likely for a day so check…

      All is not lost.


    • Guys here will help you a lot, just a quick comment. If you like exercising, all kinds of co-ed sport activities are great for meeting girls (running, wall-climbing etc.). And it also means that she’s taking care of herself.


  37. This is a lesson that I’m doomed to have to learn over and over again.

    Started dating a women 10 yrs my junior who, according to her and her friends, had recently ended/exited a long relationship with a guy who was emotionally and physically abusive (i.e. a jerk/asshole).

    So of course I wanted to show her I was nice. Punctual, respectful, trustworthy, etc etc yada yada blah blah blah. Not in a supplicating or stomach-turning way, but simply to let her know I was a guy who wouldn’t betray or abuse her.

    So after a few months she of course dumped me out of the blue. Zero emotion or feeling from her. Totally clinical. She may as well have been tossing a paper cup in the trash.

    Few weeks later, saw one of her friends who asked if I was still seeing the woman. I said she had dumped me.

    Her friend said, completely matter-of-factly, “Yeah. She doesn’t like nice guys.”

    Don’t condemn or mock me. I get it, and I certainly don’t blame her.
    I forgot the prime directive straight from CH himself….”Always Be Alpha.”


  38. on October 3, 2015 at 2:10 pm gunslingergregi

    i knew woman had it easier but i did not realize the full measure of how much till now
    noone here can compete with a chick that looks halfway decent on money
    so that kinda goes out the window
    i guess its not same old same old learning new shit my mind is blown
    anyone have their chick tell em they are always right
    i have she says it all the time he he he


    • on October 3, 2015 at 5:19 pm gunslingergregi

      she says she needs her pussy ate and pounded
      said her pussy gettin so tight she can’t wipe it
      drinkning loud as fuck at the bar on the phone
      like dam be careful what ya wish for guys
      am i the only one who has woman he with want him to fuck them all the time
      no matter how long they been together
      serious question


      • on October 3, 2015 at 5:20 pm gunslingergregi

        even my first wife left cause she wanted to ride my dick a second time and i told her no rofl


    • on October 3, 2015 at 6:52 pm gunslingergregi

      course woman still cruel to each other and some men cruel to woman so what a man has to offer is actually protection still


  39. @Captain Obvious

    Thanks for your time replying Captain,

    I must admit I tried online dating about 18 months ago to try and help me over the break up with my last girlfriend, but it really didn’t work for me (admittedly I didn’t know anything about CH at this point).

    The only women that would reply to messages (I sent a lot of messages) were either very plain, neurotic white women (in their 30s), or black women (also in their 30s). I couldn’t get the younger women to bite (with one exception).

    Of those that did start talking to me via email, the majority flaked before even arranging to make a date.

    Of the 3 white women I dated online, two I just didn’t fancy, and I knew I didn’t before even meeting them. The third white women was Polish who I thought in her photos was quite attractive (tall too), but she looked so old up close (despite being only 31), smelled old womanish, and had a congential defect with one of her hands. She was also a (what I now know from CH) classic alpha widow, and told me a sob story about moving to the UK to be with the love of her life.

    The black chicks I dated were generally even more crazy. I got one woman drunk and had to listen to her thoroughly messed up, self entitled philosophy on men, marriage, and children.

    After that date I decided enough was enough, and concluded that online dating was just too time consuming for such slim pickings.

    I did have one decent date with a very assertive, but very attractive black women (in her early 20s), nice features, and a killer figure. The date was like a really intense job interview, with me like floundering around like an idiot trying to give completely honest, detailed answers, whilst she continued to fire questions at me. It all changed when she asked me if I had been in fights before, and after I answered she was all over me. In retrospect I could have gone back to her place that night, but decided to try and convert her into a girlfriend. Needless to say, I bit on so much beta bait/shit tests, between then and the second date, that it never happened.

    1 decent date out of 20 awful ones, as well as hundreds of emails, was completely exhausting, although it did open my eyes and through a random search online I found CH.

    I take it there’s a knack to online dating that I don’t know about? If I could get dates with women in their 20s I would try it again.

    I’ve been reading as much as I can on CH since then, and have been trying to put it into practise. I’ve been approaching women in supermarkets, or chatting to female staff working in customer facing jobs.

    It’s proving tough though as I haven’t managed to get a date or phone number from it yet.

    On the plus side I am talking to lots of girls, but I find it really tough build rapport.

    I’ve noticed that almost all of the women I talk to rattle on and on, about themselves, they never ask anything about me (apart to ask how I am when starting a conversation). Even more frustrating, one girl (about a 5 I would say) I regularly talk with, said in conversation on two separate occasions that “she would like to cook me dinner”, to which I replied, “ok, give me your number and we’ll arrange something”, and on which she returned “that’s confidential”. The second time I had this conversation, I countered, “that’s ok, I won’t tell anyone”, at which she smiled and said “she would think about it”. At this point, I decided not to go out of my way to talk to her anymore (she works in the supermarket), but every time I go in there, she keeps finding me and starting conversations. I don’t understand what she’s doing?

    Your tall girl idea is worth a try, I’m actually a good swimmer (I swim twice a week, there’s also a good looking Asian girl on the reception desk at the leisure centre I’ve got talking to) so I’m going to join a local masters swimming club and see if there are many female members.

    I’ll also throw the game game into conversations too.

    Thanks again.


    • Chunky …. Save yourself a lot of pain and start with getting a solid foundation in game principles first.

      See the list YaReally put together here :

      and also the online Mystery seminars (there are 6) and Yareally archive as well…


    • on October 4, 2015 at 7:47 am Captain Tautological

      > “at the leisure centre… a local masters swimming club…” ——— If you like the centre, or if you like the club, then keep in mind an ancient USA college fraternity boy saying: ‘Never sh!t where you eat.’ If you get involved with a batsh!t crazy chick in such a venue, and if the two of you have an ugly breakup, then the odds are that she gets to keep the venue, whereas you have to go out in search of a new venue. So if you like the place, then only use it for making female FRIENDS, who will then introduce you to their friends, and you actually dip it in the friend of the friend [who doesn’t frequent the venue herself]. That strategy preserves your dignity at the venue, plus it makes your original female friend furious with jealousy [which is always where you want to be with any woman – her furious with jealousy, you pretending to be blithely ignorant of her jealousy].


      • on October 4, 2015 at 8:08 am Captain Tautological

        > “I’ll also throw the game game into conversations too.” ——— Chicks LOVE LOVE LOVE to be led through EvoPsych and Group Dynamics and shiznat like that. Just start working the stuff into your conversations with them: ‘Fess up, you like Bad Boyz don’t you? Don’t lie to me girl, I can see it in your eyes… blah blah blah… Honey, if you were my wife, I’d spank you so hard that you would beg me not to stop… blah blah blah…’ Also, you don’t have to sleep with these girls – use the sh!tty dates which you catalogued above as practice towards learning how to deliver these lines. The first several times you try it, your adrenaline will be surging and the testosterone will build up in you, and your palms will sweat and your voice will tremble and crack and you’ll rush the line out too fast. But with experience, you’ll get a slow, steady cadence, and you’ll force your voice down into its low basso octave, and you’ll master the eye contact, and then physical kino will be next – just naturally sliding your hand around into the small of her back…


    • “I am talking to lots of girls, but I find it really tough build rapport.”

      Attraction > Comfort > Rapport

      BTW – if you guys have not read YaReally’s reaffirmation of MM principles and this very topic – check out his archive for Sept. Really great stuff.


    • @chunkymonkey

      learn the M3 model like your life depends on it (Mystery Method – For now, don’t worry about learning anything past A1-A3, until you start consistently getting to A3 (male to female interest). At the moment you are going straight into trying for rapport with women – they don’t give a shit, EVERYONE tries for rapport with them. Instead start finding ways to spark attraction. Attraction is just emotion, good or bad. Find a venue where it doesn’t matter if you get yourself in a little bit of drama & try saying slightly outrageous things to women & then try to smooth it over. You need to get on her fucking subconscious radar by spiking her emotions. Trying for rapport is not getting on her radar. & throw in some laser eye contact as described by YaReally here –

      When you are starting to get attraction (A2 – female to male interest), then start qualifying her for qualities you like that aren’t based on her looks. Until you are getting to this stage (A3) consistently, don’t bother getting any kind of in-depth knowledge of anything else.


    • @chunkymonkey – you are one of the few guys (ie, with your height and looks etc) for whom online game may actually be a good idea. I look nothing like you and would not be most women’s fantasy of an ideal boyfriend (ie, online game is a LOT harder for me, although no big deal in person) but even for me, I spent about 18 months doing a lot of online game and learning a lot about escalating and closing and getting a lot of lays.

      Now, I’m circling back to focussing on opening cold approach and stuff with a lot more confidence from all those lays.

      May be worth trying online stuff just to rack up the dates and get dating/escalation experience for you.

      In addition to the stuff Sentient’s listed, for online dating specifically, I suggest checking out Blackdragon’s ebooks (although I don’t follow them slavishly). I can guarantee you are making a bunch of mistakes in your online game – if you post details of your online messages here, we can dissect them, but the most important thing to keep in mind is that you need to push for a meetup early (2-3 message exchanges) and stop wasting time with any girl who doesn’t agree or wants to keep talking.


  40. In the past year, I have heard from friends of two LTRs (marriages) where it was the wife who just came out one day and said, “I don’t love you anymore”. Talk about a shiv. And in both situations their are children. Both men are very nice, but I am thinking about CH’s scenario #1, because both used to be Alpha jocks (but not necessarily fully-fledged members of the Jerkboy Club), both used to have hair, and both used to have (reasonable) game. Then, they got married, fatter/muscle loss, lost a lot of hair, lost interest from other women, and turned into worker-bee betas. I think the losing interest from other women is one of the most damning things for a man, because women, being the attention whores that they are, do not like it when women are not in the least jealous of them, and their man garnishes them no special attention when the couple walks into a room.

    As to Jerkboys keeping the love of their former cling-ons, that is absolutely spot on! Anyone who spent time in the dating market will have come across a least a half dozen women who were serious jerkboys – the type that were verbally and physically abusive to the women. Of course, the women all call those men “jerks”, but are unable to explain why they stayed in a relationship with them for 1, 2 or more years. Many of those women end up with babies from old jerky-jerk, too, well after they felt the back side of his hand. These women are now irrevocably lost in the “normal” dating market. They cannot have (nor will be happy in) a relationship with a nice Alpha male, let alone a hapless beta loser. They will always search out another abusive relationship, like a moth to the flame.

    The Nouveau Slim. Let’s face it, in the USA and England, this is any woman who manages to tip the scale at just under 150 pounds. These women (fortunately for Alpha males) love to exclaim how they lost 20, 30 or more pounds. They think that we (Alpha males) are going to say, “You go grrrrrl, you look fabulous. Wow, just wow!” No, instead, normal men will externally say, “That is great that you lost that weight”, but internally scream, “Holy shit, she is a fatty in disguise, and she will blow up like a balloon at the first sign of stress, or just by Nature! Runnnnnnnnnn!”. Any man who dates a newly slimmed down woman, is nuts to believe she is going to look that way for very long.


  41. Great post CH.


  42. on October 3, 2015 at 8:15 pm Hermann Hesse

    Yes, I read your post and it’s something I need to read at this mood-moment. It’s a pickmeup of truth serum, and at the same time I know it’s not simple (it being life, not how to keep women attracted). I mean to be a professional accountant, you can’t be a selfish jerk. How can selfish jerks succeed in business and make money and get a house? I mean if I am a jerk I want to be a mature adult jerk- not an adam sandler manchild jerk. A jerk who can chop lumber and build trusses on houses, and survive in the wild and make a living and dress nice. There’s that. And business is all about people. So maybe he has to learn how to turn that selfishness on and off, and be charming as you said, and please people. So there’s that. And how can a man not be selfish, doing what a man’s gotta do. Even the beta marriage males were selfish in as much as they were comfortable with their woman. My dad’s not selfish and he’s kind of beta, and yet he is selfish, exploiting the comforts of marriage. So are these other betas. So words are confusing. I analyze too much. What are you saying- a man needs confidence and self control? That’s what doc love says. And to be a challenge. And have self-esteem- certain lines you won’t cross.

    My problem is not women- its the world. And then there’s the problem. Institutions- they have laws and policies and sensitivity trainings and codes of conduct, that being as you suggest violates these and can get you into real professional or even legal hot water. Why would these codes violate the laws of nature if such are the laws of nature? Well puritanism was stupid. It was extremely cliquish but for the wrong reasons. Neo-puritanism is stupid- but yeah you can’t be like that, a selfish jerk in this way and get caught or you’ll get into trouble, but I’ve pushed it and I’ve pushed my luck- always doing it with the best of motives, but the system in the USA has no sense of humor, no flexibility of understanding, But I didn’t get in trouble. Women may not have much economic privilege and they may face discrimination, but one privilege they have more than men is the ability to get men into trouble with the system and authorities, more than men have to get them into trouble- although my single woman friend who just had a child in her upper 30s- good for her! Well they called CPS and took her baby for the present- so even women can suffer. Let us be men- alpha men or whatever, but men, and let us be human, and let us not rush into rejection but do what is needed, and stimulate estrogen from the females. Let us trigger their feelings by being men in the world, achieving victories in our affairs.


    • “How can selfish jerks succeed in business and make money and get a house? ”

      Unquestionably the richest, most successful people I know (self made $25M+) are also the most selfish, narcissistic and focused people I know – who ALSO happen to be very charming with people when they want to be.

      But every single interactions is from their frame and toward their purpose. Think about that.


      • Some people are natural athletes. Some are natural geniuses. And some have natural game. For those rare men who have a mix of genius and game, the sky is the limit.


      • They really do. I work for one and strive to emulate him


  43. They may never fall out of love but the resentment will always be there. That doesn’t seem to ever go away.


  44. I have always had a natural advantage in this regard. While not natural alpha, I have a natural introverted aloofness coupled with finding few people (including women) who i click with. So not seeing a girl anymore is not a big deal to me. The last girl, about two months ago, I gave a few weeks of screening (been experimenting with new screening techniques) to see if she was worth more than a bang. After identifying her as a textbook BPD, I dropped her. Never have i seen such pathetic crying and chasing after me. And yes Im aware this in part, is part of the traits of a BPD. But it was fascinating how many people she recruited to speak to me on her behalf to see her again (i blocked her from contacting me).