The Art Of Playfulness

Women love playful men. Playfulness, broadly defined, is nonverbal teasing. Or it’s the physical and verbal working together as an insincere form of taunting. Not many men are naturally playful, especially with attractive women. Men tense up in the presence of sexually enticing women, and this discomfort is anathema to cultivating a playful demeanor. Playfulness is lost with age, as well. Boys are breezily playful, but their effortless joy and naughtiness eventually succumbs to moodiness and the grind.

Not in all men, though. Natural Lotharios have a gift for retaining much of their youthful playfulness, which they love to display in the company of women. For example:

This girl buries her face in her hand and laughs because she has experienced a pleasant sensation: the mischievous flirtation of a cocksure cad.

Playfulness is attractive to women because it’s a type of humor. Women love funny men, and all that spazz. You don’t need to be jacked or ripped to tease a girl into a swirl of charged hormones. A six pack is great, but you know who’s going to get the girl more often, and be adored in loving honorarium by more girls?: The guy pulling playful stunts like the one above.

This is not to say playfulness has unlimited use. All play and no lay makes Jack a null void. Playfulness is like an indirect opener where the romantic intention is hidden under a layer of funnyman obfuscation. At some point, you have to drop the act and break the Fourth Wall, giving due to the sexual tension in a less joking manner. Excessive joking can quickly come to be perceived as emotionally distancing.

There’s one other reason women love playful men, and it’s the most crucial ingredient in the dynamic between the performer (man) and audience (woman). Playful men appear to suffer no worldly burden. They seem at ease, living in the moment, stress-free and unconcerned with public opinion. Leaders and charismatics share these traits, and women are powerfully drawn to such men. If we understand that women are attracted to certain male personalities that suggest an easy, worry-free life full of material comfort (and resources to be mutually enjoyed or effortlessly gathered), and bountiful choice in mates, then it makes sense that playful men trigger limbic love pulses in women.

Playfulness, then, is best seen as an indirect signal of female preselection (“he’s done this before with women and knows from experience it works”), outcome independence (“he doesn’t fear rejection or social opprobrium”) and self-assurance (“he’s not nervous or supplicating”). Playfulness is the opposite of desperation.


  1. Playfulness can reveal self-possession, self-assurance, independence; being more focused on amusing yourself than hoping for a positive response from her. It also shows you are living in the moment. It implies you have an abundance mentality, so she thinks you’ve got plenty of good options.


    • True playfulness [not the PUA-driven cookbook ingredient list fake playfulness] also tends to implying RISK-TAKING, especially in the modern era, when ubiquitous and nearly omnipotent Feminaziism seeks to stamp out the very last vestigial glowing embers of creativity which once burned so brightly in the White Man’s Soul.

      And while her forebrain is simply aghast at the thought of a life lived in the company of a risk-taking man, her hindbrain is screaming “SOAKING WET BIRTH CANAL AND FIRM ERECT CLITORIS!!!”


    • This is a good point. When I play around, Im doing it for me because its fun to tease and cause chaos.


    • Idiocracy marches on. Of particular interest here:

      “I remember looking at how young she appeared and thinking to myself, ‘This is a big job at a critical time for someone who looks like a kid,'” Isaacson’s co-worker Lisa Friel said.

      Au contraire, she looks about 35 and the job is the usual sinecure. Consider this thought experiment: Will Anna Isaacson get fired if her activities fail and domestic violence remains an issue in the NFL in a year or two? Are there any metrics measured with targets she can miss? I hazard a “no” on both.


      • I was thinking similarly. Under feminism, a 35 year old woman who should have 3 kids by now is considered a kid if she looks 27, which this one does. They really believe that; she’s not an adult old enough to “settle down” yet in the eyes of feminism.


      • on November 28, 2014 at 12:55 pm Pijama Wearing Ninja

        If she looks like a kid, I look like a fetus! You’re dead on about her job being a sinecure though. I think of starting a NGO that militates for leftist crap because I want a sinecure too. lol


    • Horsefaced, ugly woman. Unproductive leftist job telling other people how to live. Name is Isaacson. And when you look her up online, you see those typical beady, slightly slanted eyes. Yep, she’s Tribe all right.


      • Oh yeah, and “lives in the Manhattan Beach neighborhood in which she was raised”. Now I’m just waiting to hear if she has had rhinoplasty surgery, has mommy issues and favors Chinese restaurants. Let’s hit all the bases.


      • the only daughter of a teacher and an office supplies salesman

        part-time gig selling souvenirs across the street from Yankee Stadium

        a $7-an-hour job in the team’s merchandising department.

        peddled hats and shirts from her mall cart for a little more than six months and dealt with everything from theft to people screaming at her and spitting on her.

        .. curated memorabilia for a Brooklyn baseball museum and organized a 50-year reunion of the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers World Series champion team. She built a youth curriculum based on the Jackie Robinson story and tutored kids from the neighborhood around the stadium. Her résumé stood out to NFL executives when she applied for a community relations job on that year.

        “I figured, if she could handle that job for a minor league baseball team without much help, she could come to our office with willing and able colleagues ready to share the load and absolutely excel,” said Joe Browne, the longest-tenured NFL employee and currently the senior adviser to the commissioner.

        .. built a reputation around the office as someone who wouldn’t back down in meetings. Browne recalled Isaacson regularly butting heads with marketing staffers .. They were back-and-forth battles Isaacson often won. She became one of the league’s fastest rising stars and in 2012 won the Commissioner’s Award, given to the league’s employee of the year.

        “When she believes in something, she can test your patience sometimes,” Browne said. “But most of the time she’s right. She understands how to communicate and influence the key senior staff in the office, including the commissioner.”

        Your deep need to incite hatred towards someone working to find a place in the world is peculiar.


      • Like

      • But the type of girl who is very easily gamed… a 6 who has been told her whole life by everyone (parents, relatives, her fat girlfriends, beta orbiters) she is an 8 or 9, but she knows in her heart she is not… same with the false intellect and bravado of a Barnard History degree and a “VP” job after all the experience of working with a minor league baseball team… These kinds of girls are waiting to be called out on their shit and brought to heel, and respond very favorably when you can do that.


  2. “Limbic love pulses”.
    Dam good.


  3. There’s a lot of analysis in this….but its for sure true. And it’s true for any social context. Couple things that concern me:

    A. The kid is in high school…CH how old are you this is like the second or third pic/vid with what looks like hug schoolers or middle schoolers ha. But it’s still fine cause it works I guess.

    B. I’m not sure how powerful this “playfulness” really is. If a fat chick did that same thing to me (as above) I would have the same reaction as the girl. (Hands in face and laugh)…. Sure it’s a good, non creepy way to meet or converse with girls

    [CH: if a fat chick did this to you, you would not have the same reaction. instead, you would grimace and move away. it’s obvious that the girl in the gif is giggling and amused in a good way by this guy’s mischief.]


  4. I wouldn’t say playfulness dies with age. Likely it gets burried deep under the daily grind, and obligations that we’d rather not have.

    I can only speak from my own experience, but I’d be willing to bet most people here are playful… when they’re not thinking of responsibilities, worrying about the future, or constantly replaying an old fght with a co-worker / gf / whomever. It’s a terrible loop to be in.

    But on the occations I have broken free of that loop, man, it’s magic. I open better, I’m not scared of being sexual (something I’m timid about in general), and best of all, I’m resiliant to rejections. It’s like nothing can stop me. Oh, and you get that abundance mindset too.

    That said, it’s probably better to work on recognizing what obstacles you throw in your way and focus on removing them. Trying hard to layer on playfulness on a bad mindset is counter-productive.

    It’s like a 100m sprinter with a parachute strapped to his back. He thinks, “man i suck, i need better legs!” when all he has to do to go faster is to simply cut off his parachute.


  5. Solid gold CH… Love the eye brow raise ‘watch this” smirk…

    this was ….. NOT me in high school. There is hope through game.


    • you can’t change your personality, dumb nerd. Only partially and because of external requests. You’ll just continue being a dork overanalyzing social stuff and trying to break it down, symptom of aspergers.


      • Sigh. Another game denier with nothing to say and nothing to add but their own projection and limitations.

        Apt screen name though.


      • Because CH uses “sperg” as an apt comment sometimes (on people picking on details everyone knows are exaggerated for effect when they can’t counter the main point being made), every amateur who wants to sound knowledgeable says sperg or Aspergers now. For anything.

        “overanalyzing” – same thing here, can’t counter CH’s points so he says CH is “overanalyzing”. Funny how these bitter drive-by commenters never have any facts to stand on. CH has provided a wealth of research to back up his observations, and guys like “anus” here have no research on their side. So they have to resort to stock insults.

        And by the way, of course people can change their personalities. What a ridiculous notion that it wouldn’t be possible. People grow and their personalities change. People learn and are taught, and personalities change.


      • you can change your personality, but it’s very difficult. also, even small changes in your personality can make large differences in your relationships.


      • CH does reap a bushell of narrative from a grain of context from time to time, especially with one off photos. It is a bit sherlock level spergy, but hey, and we are all on the spectrum?


      • arbiter, you are the worst human case on this website. I didn’t even understand the bullshit you wrote, btw “asperger or aspie” or whatever is a very popular meme on the internet, it’s not that only aspie ch uses it.
        I just hope you won’t kill yourself anyway.


      • anus, you’re an anus… and a fairy.


      • on November 30, 2014 at 5:46 am haunted trilobite

        here’s an example of personality change: infants and toddler are invested with so much confidence and innocence. they’re overwhelmingly caring and joyful, and occasionally a little bold. fast forward10, 20, 30 years spent deep in the shit and who knows what kind of abomination of the original personality you’ll find. external influences such as tv, peers,intoxicants, etc all play a major part. there’s almost nothing in the world that can’t have an influence on our play-doh personalities. it’s very sad


  6. on November 26, 2014 at 8:18 pm Laguna Beach Fogey

    Playfulness is key.

    For some men, it does not diminish with age, but increases. This may be related to experience, wealth, and success.

    Girls of all ages love to be flirted with and teased.


  7. I’m 23 now and i think i already lost my “playfulness”
    i badly needed it back!


  8. on November 26, 2014 at 8:30 pm Hymen Mingesky

    I loled.


  9. Warning: excessive charming playfulness will trigger a “i bet you’ve fucked so many girls” response, which brings it’s own set of challenges to overcum.

    My questions to CH…why does my natural playfulness and charisma come out for some girls, but other times it feels forced or canned, even when the girl is clearly interested?

    Also, what to do in the presence of other playful, fun filled men? I feel like I become dull as a 2×4 in these scenarios. It’s like I want to scream that I’m fun and lighthearted too, dammit!


    • That’s the problem. You’re still vying for approval.

      Have fun when you feel like it. Be serious when you want to. It’s up to you. Do what you want.

      And when there are other “playful, fun filled men” around… your best bet is to dominate them by treating them like court jesters and yourself like the king.


    • Enjoy their attitude too, that’s the fun part. And when you stop having fun, and get bored, take your approval away and change the topic. Most likely, others will also be feeling bored.


    • Calibration don’t come easy. Must have a PUA tool for the job in the moment for every moment continuously. It is hard to calibrate without a method that does not fit the moment. Even if you do have the right tool, which one is it and how exactly should it be deployed? Field work, reflection and study, repeat. MGTOW or ‘next’ can be appropriate. Comes down to show her, don’t tell her. Can’t win ’em all. There can only be one best sperm donor.


    • I think a few tips already on the blog apply here and have been useful in my own experience: contrast is king (serious/low-key punctuated by humor), control the smile (limit your face to a smirk, smile on rare occasions), don’t guffaw at your own jokes (look at any pro stand-up comedian), can-i-see-myself-saying-it tempered with path independence/outcome independence, and abundance mentality (don’t get one-itis). If you feel like you have to work it up, maybe hold off for a better opportunity. You want to -feel- like the subject and leader, not the object looking for approval.
      Recent example: mundane bantering with a chick at the SWPL farmer’s market, the bee product stand has beeswax candles. The thought comes to me and I’m out with it before any over-analysis: “look, this gives a whole new meaning to mind your own beeswax”. Big smile and a melodious laugh, conversation continues.
      You just know it when to turn it on.


      • Nice. Reminds me awhile back, I was in a bar and talking to this tall blonde–not all that attractive, but I was just working at breaking out of my comfort zone. We got on the topic of food, she said she didn’t like beef and could only eat chicken. I then said, “so I guess you like anything that’s fowl.!”

        She couldn’t help laughing. She even said “that was bad”, but was still cracking up. If anything, I think she was slightly embarrassed that she was laughing as uncontrollably as she was.


      • Not laughing at my own jokes. Thats one Im really trying to hammer down. Forget game, if youre trying to be a comedian thats a huge nono. Ive had some real good ones lately and the smile is just contagious. I try to remember to breathe and focus elsewhere, but it all takes practice.


      • Puns and dry humor have moistened many a vag… at least that’s my experience.


      • It sounds corny, but one of the best ice-breakers I ever had, because it served as a mild neg to take her down a peg, was when this vegan gal, a good-looker, was “holding court” and pontificating to our small gathering about how adamant she was about the whole “respect for life” thing.

        she: “I won’t eat any sort of flesh”.

        one of the beta orbiters: “What about fish?”

        she: “Nothing with eyes. No fish, no fowl, no beef, no veal, no…”

        at this point I interrupt and announce with mock severity to the gathering:

        “No potatoes”.

        They laugh, she’s taken aback slightly, then giggles and gives me a punch in the arm.

        She stuck close the rest of the party, and in our circle we became “an item” over the next few weeks.

        Alas, it could never work in the long run… a woman is a woman, but a nice steak is a repast.


      • If vegan will have no chili, I’ll have no vegan for spouse!


    • lol i bet you respond “no not really” when a girl says “i bet you’ve fucked so many girls”



  10. couldn’t agree more.

    the too-serious man (usually apoplectic to the point of foamy spittle flecks in the corner of his mouth with the thoughts of the Joos and rioting Nogs)…..well he get no poosy.

    who wants to deal with all that real life these days? not pretty girls i guarantee you that.


    • +1 wisdom. However, kicking bloody ass with all sovereign seriousness does turn females on, but that’s not any time soon, maybe not in our lifetimes. I suggest emotional detachment from what was never yours (yours, any reader): wife, country; and what will not be yours: stolen or vandalized property, whatever. Never build on quicksand. So if you can’t knock being a serious person altogether, try (emotional) detachment. I bet Tilikum is serious about pussy though. lol And not. It’s a paradoxical zone. For me: serious intellectually, recreational emotionally. If the emotion does not serve you, abort it in your mind.


      • lol. actually i could care less about pussy most of the time and actually I am indeed relatively serious.

        but you gotta shut that shit off and bring good emotions around the ladies. ‘spergy Omega overthink while valuable in its own right, has never helped a dude relate to a girls ladybits.


      • Its a tough spill to swallow: the inability to fight for anything real beyond a corporate oligarchy.


    • Tilikum, shut the fuck up, idiot. You’re a lonely old omega who whines about people writing posts about topics you are too dumb to understand. And I see you go to old threads to insult me when you think I’m gone, since you’re a pussy who doesn’t dare do it when I’ll see it. You think you’ll get away with that, I’ll make sure to whip your pussy ass until you go into hiding again. It’s easy to scare you away, back to your porn in your loneliness. Off with you, fatty.


  11. The Kurds are now quite openly stating that you should invest in their country because the caves of Shanidar (in Kurdistan) are full of Neanderthal bones.


    • they have a point


      • The neocon lover Tilikum is now sucking Kurd cock because the neocons are praising them. The idiot knows nothing about Kurds, of course. He’ll just repeat whatever the neocons say. Kurds are trash hated by all their neighbors, and the Kurds in Europe are just as criminal as Arabs. No wonder Tilikum loves them, being a neocon lover he’s anti-White. He has already complained about how we dare criticize “Joos and nigs”. It’s a tell-tale sign that he is too much of a coward to actually spell out Jews. That’s what happens with the sycophants, they know they aren’t allowed to even spell out the name of the media owners’ race.


      • on November 28, 2014 at 2:20 pm Hammer of Love

        ” He has already complained about how we dare criticize “Joos and nigs”. ”

        In his defense, comments with Joos and Nigs, spelled correctly seem to stay in moderation mode for a longer time. He’s still an asshat for supporting said groups though.


      • “In his defense, comments with Joos and Nigs, spelled correctly…”

        That’s not why he does it. He’s mocking those who would attribute all the problems to the jews.


    • Since when do Kurds have a country?


      • Oh, they have one now. Iraq is never going to be put back together. Ditto Syria. I don’t know just what the future holds, but the post-WWI demarcations are gone.



    i bring to you lorde a fresh offering to be eviscerated with your linguistic shiv.

    Oh God of the Chateau, annihilate this Manboob Paul Hudson of Elite Daily!


    • I like how he blames ‘douchebags’ for ‘breaking women’ but does not stop for one second to ask himself ‘why were they dating such men in the first place?’.

      When will they learn?


      • They learn when they go extinct and your progeny replaces theirs. Evolution recycles atoms not individuals. No need to redeem all individuals because that is impossible. Nature doesn’t care. Neither should we.


      • When I was a white knight I used the Dr. Drew logic: Women who had abusive fathers seek abusive men. If a woman has a scallywag boyfriend, her father was a scallywag.

        But then I read Heartiste and realized that Womyn are attracted to men who are victorious and all victorious men are scallywags.


    • One giant pile of ‘No True Scotsman’ crap. Yet another ‘article’ best read in reverse, as a ‘How Not To Get Laid’ style guide.


    • And from the same source, here’s some absolutely classic beta rationalisation for being friendzoned:
      My favourite bit: “This brings me back to the frustration that haunts gentlemen everywhere. We literally embody most of the characteristics that women these days deem necessary all over social media, yet we get skipped for what seems to be a lower register of men.
      When you are the best option available and you’re still not chosen, it leaves room for endless questioning. This can be applied not just to dating, but to life in general.”
      Yes, that flickering you see is the faintest hint of realisation dawning, only to be savagely snuffed out by more beta BS. Not only women have rationalisation hamsters, it seems. And this mangina is employed to ‘life coach’ others!


      • “Gentlemen are a dying breed. It’s only a matter of time until we’re on the cover of National Geographic with a caption that reads, “In danger of extinction.”

        In modern-day dating, that is unfortunately what we’ve been reduced to in the naked female eye; we’re nothing but animals.”

        Haha. Enjoy the ‘equality’ you so vehemently support.


      • This brings me back to the frustration that haunts gentlemen everywhere. We literally embody most of the characteristics that women these days deem necessary all over social media, yet we get skipped for what seems to be a lower register of men.

        Oh, that’s so funny. Did he ever consider that a woman might want to have a good time? That instead of a date that looks like an interview she might want excitement and entertainment? That she might want a man who takes care of his physique? He can’t provide what women want. And he has no proof that those who do excite women treat a girlfriend worse than he would.


      • Didn’t read his article but noticed one of his bullet points was “Don’t be an assh*le”. I can’t stand it when pillow biters omit a letter or two or rearrange a couple letters in naughty words lest they offend someone. If that’s the word you want to convey to your reader then fucking spell it out already. Also, any man who uses words like gender, vagina, penis, etc. is a little sissy bitch.


      • MZ: damn that was hilarious!


      • When you are picked last for the team, repeatedly fired from employment, but you are clearly the best for the team and employment, it’s time to advise others on how best to mewl over the unfairness of it all. and start a blog.


      • the comments are eviscerating this chump…gfd what a litany of advice on how to be a beta suckup chump and get friendzoned…LISTEN to her? WTF? Who gives a shit what women say?!?

        The CLASSIC beta desperation gambit, “well if I am listening to her (probably whine about getting cheated on/dumped/served by some alpha “douche”) then I am occupying her time and she’ll DEFINITELY at some point discover I am the right guy for her!!!” Bullshit, idiot! When she gets tired of whining, she’ll send you home and txt an alpha to come fuck her.

        And this clown is a relationship coach? WTF.


      • “When you are picked last for the team, repeatedly fired from employment, but you are clearly the best for the team and employment, it’s time to advise others on how best to mewl over the unfairness of it all. and start a blog.”

        Gamma as defined by Alpha Game.


    • A blue pill checklist leavened with feminine shaming and some amusingly delusional terminology. “Paul Hudson” might as well be the pseudonym of a woman — there are a couple comments from women at the end which show more red pill than he. Just trace amounts of red, to be sure, but that’s enough.


      • Likely is just that: another woman, faking it for benefit of the sista-hood. Gotta keep those beta-boys in check!

        Sistas can ride the cock carousel until the wall looms ever so large, but woe unto him who takes the red pill!


      • Written from the perspective a 13 yo boy trying to toss around manly real talk – but having zero referential experience. Or a homosexual.


    • Note that Paul Hudson picks a Tumblr picture of two models, a handsome man with a slim, attractive woman.

      How about showing a picture of a man coupled with an obese woman? How about adding a picture showing that she used to be slimmer? Then write the exact same article. Would the effect be the same?

      Always funny when looks-don’t-matter-feminists use pictures of attractive women to make people read and approve of their articles.

      I’m rather pissed off at all you stupid boys, parading about like actual men. In fact, you recently cost me a potentially promising relationship. Because you’ve managed to cheat on so many women and break their trust, there seem to be very few women left who are willing to trust another man.

      He shamelessly blames his failure on men who, he claims without proof, fill the field with women who have been cheated on.

      I have never before cheated on a woman in my life, nor will I ever do so.

      Never “before”? Perhaps he should read through what he writes before he posts it. Otherwise we get to enjoy the unintentional comedy.

      Real men are emotionally stable.

      The typical “man up” rhetoric includes the phrase “real men”, who of course act like the writer wants people to act. Only then are you “real”. What are the rest, Lego? Speaking of emotional stability, that is not exactly what male and female feminists are known for.

      We usually hear about women having trouble controlling their emotions. Truth be told, men are much worse.

      False. Women have a harder time controlling their emotions and avoiding emotional roller coasters. The vast majority of cases of Histrionic Personality Disorder are women. But feminists like Paul Hudson have to lie to make their case.

      but men – weak men – pretend like they feel nothing.

      He is repeatedly using unsupported claims as insults. Why would they be “weak” just because they act in a way he doesn’t like?

      I’m sorry to have to tell you this gentlemen, but because you are men you are going to want to sleep with every beautiful woman who crosses your path. Literally, every single one.

      I’m sure he is sorry. Feminists hate evolutionary psychology. “Literally, every single one” – close but false. Now, exaggerating for effect is something we accept in private writings, but when you are writing an article for publishing you should stick to facts.

      If the sex bores you, then do something to make it more exciting. It takes two to tango – if she won’t bring the whipped cream then it’s up to you to do so.

      How about suggesting that she lose weight, which is probably the number one concern, not whipped cream? But that would place demands on women. Paul Hudson follows the lower beta game of attacking men in the hopes that it will give him women’s favor, so facts must be ignored.

      Real men understand that women aren’t objects and therefore don’t use them simply to satisfy their own needs. When they know they don’t love a woman then they cut things off instead of continuing to lead them on.

      The “real men” got old fast. The claim that men think attractive women are “objects” is a typical feminist strawman argument. Leftists always distort the opinions they want to attack. But if we are to use their false terminology, then as someone wrote, “Being a sex object is far better than being ordinary.” Whether you call it “objectifying” or not, young attractive women ride a wave of favorable attention that most men can’t imagine. They’re probably not unhappy about that. If they were, they wouldn’t spend Friday evenings at night clubs where the favor is amplified times a hundred.

      To cheat is to act as if you’re better than she is

      No it isn’t. It’s one thing if Paul Hudson wants to criticize unfaithfulness, but it’s another when he makes up wild accusations to support his opinion.

      Too many “men” these days believe it’s laudable to sleep with as many women as possible

      Understand basic evolutionary psychology, man-bitch.

      If you are lucky enough to have found a woman to love and are luckier still to have her love you back, then do everything in your power to keep her smiling.

      Really unnecessary for Paul to repeat basically the same thing over and over again. And where are the demands on women? No “you should both do everything in your power to keep each other smiling”, the demand is only placed on men. Lower beta game once again.

      Real men know what’s important in life – and it’s not another piece of ass.

      It’s writing feminist articles attacking men in the hopes that it will get you ass. The whole premise for his article is that he lost his chance with a woman and now he is angry about it.

      As men, we often want more than is good for us.

      And women don’t? Of course they do. But if Paul Hudson let the truth get in his way his entire article would evaporate in a cloud of pink lust dust.

      That one woman who will love you for your entire life is all that really matters.

      Pedestalizing – Paul Hudson shows us how. Think it will get you laid, Paul? Think again. How awkward you look when praising a dreamed-of woman as the entire point of your existence. What woman would want that kind of man? She’s say he is not … a real man.

      Including the phrase real men or real man nineteen times in a short essay gotta be some sort of record. But repeating it doesn’t bring you any closer, Paul. I am tempted to ask “do you even lift?” but we all know the answer. The reason that woman didn’t want you probably had less to do with other men and more to do with your spaghetti arms and incessantly whining nature.


    • hHAHAH, man that article is worth quite a few lolz, just read the first line ‘So many boys, so few real men.’


    • These elitedaily articles are hilarious. Just read the one about ‘reasons for being single.’ HAHA! Good shit. All I can say is, if girls agree with that shit, they’re lazy as fuck! That’s why they’re bloody single! Stop being a lazy ass.

      Liked by 1 person

    • If Paul Hudson kept rambling, sooner or later, he would have gotten to;

      “A real man is always looking for a chance to make his woman laugh.”

      The humor thing is way overrated. If a guy really goes into an interaction with a female thinking that he needs to make her laugh then it is counterproductive. Girls can sniff out the court jester thing in a second.


  13. @YaReally and whoever else wants to chime in. A 20ish girl I’ve been gaming is now in town. “Long story” she texted when I asked her why she was coming.

    She gets that I’m not just a “Friend”—something borne out by the fact she’s suddenly introduced a cock-block to meeting up. We were set to meet up for dinner and she’s now bringing a friend. “ok” I replied. I don’t really care. She has a “fiancé” and obviously there are problems.

    She texted the other day asking me : “Do you have my local number for your city, I seem to have lost it.”

    ME; “you’re buying the first round of drinks”…sending her a screen grab of the number

    Her; I found it….try harder

    Me: Too late. Cat woman. I’ll be batman

    Her: hahaha

    Me: sending photo of cartoon of batman with heels wrapped around his cap

    Her; LOL Bad boys–no my type

    Me: Mom warned me about girls like you

    Her; Shoulda listened

    Me: Don’t make me send you to the naughty corner

    This banter seems to entice her. I’m meeting up on Friday (for a party with her ‘friend’) and then we’ve arranged to go on another group outing.

    I’m not quite sure why there’s this “let’s go out….who else is going?” idea…she seems to want to meet up but is nervous about it—something that wasn’t the case last time she came through.

    I haven’t escalated. I’ve only teased and sexualized in a playful way.



    • … Mom warned me about girls like you


      … Don’t make me send you to the naughty corner

      Those two lines are pure ganster…


    • She: LOL Bad boys–no my type

      He: Uh-oh, trouble… [Hamster crack–her turn to chase you]

      She: [whatever]

      He: To the masterbitorium with you! [make her qualify herself…deliberate misspelling for plausible deniability…heh…impose your frame on her…you’re the high value person…heh…playful]

      This is more dominant than “My mother warned me….” Also gets to the Grapple phase quicker and you’ve 5h1t-tested her first.


  14. “I only like white men on my money (inaudible), I ain’t racist really but I’m black and proud. Those who were last shall be first whites on the bottom”. 1:01 08/15/14 Free$tyle Big’Mike Luh Vee

    In which Mike Brown openly states his black supremacist views…but ain’t racist really.


  15. Completely agree with the overall premise of the article. But, one comment on the anim. The cutie is flattered with what just happened because the young “lothario” is not a bad looking little fellow (no homo). If the same thing had been attempted by a fat, pimply-faced nerd with glasses and greasy hair, her reaction would’ve been vastly different, as in get up screaming and run away.

    So, bottom line, yes, use playfulness, but you better have the physical attributes to pull it off, or you’ll be the creepy guy accused of harassment.


  16. “All play and no lay makes Jack a null void.” I admit it – the real reason I read the CH…it is laced, laced! i tell you, with brutal puns and crackling truthy prose.


    • ‘s true. I have only seen one other online writer who could make a treatise sound effortlessly poetic and funny like that. Aside from comedic talent it takes an intellectual conservative mind, because the conservative will have a wealth of reference points from history and literature at his disposal. It reminds me of H.L. Mencken.


    • on November 27, 2014 at 4:32 am G.B.F.M. Superfan

      I’ve received a better english tuition at the Chateau, than I ever did in college.


  17. One summer in high school, I was painting cars with some friends at the car shop where one guy’s father worked. We took a break and we were all sitting in our white overalls outside in the grass next to the sidewalk, talking and laughing. Then a very hot girl and her short skirt came walking by, and as she approached we all fell silent. She was quite a sight. It was pretty obvious that we were looking at her as we looked silent like that, and she looked a bit tensed.

    One guy was good at making animal sounds, especially at sounding like a chicken crying out. Yes, weird. Well, just as she was passing us, he suddenly cried out with that chicken sound, and the dam burst: We wolf whistled, one guy went “Mama mia!” and so on. And she kept looking straight forward but she was smiling broadly and her cheeks turned red.

    Another time in the army we were on a bus that stopped by some red lights, and there was a hot girl sitting on a park bench by the sidewalk right next to us. One guy called out something like, “Hot babe!” and two seconds later every guy in the bus was pressing his face against the windows on the right side.

    Suddenly the girl looked up and saw all these faces looking at her, and she quickly looked down on the ground, blushing. Then she smiled shyly, looked up again and waved a bit at us, and we all waved back until the bus started moving again.

    Another time, also in the army, we were about eight guys marching down a narrow forest road in the hot summer sun when two girls came running in tight pants. I was leading the squad then and held up my hand to stop, and we automatically split up to stand on both sides of the road while these girls ran past us. They smiled and looked down on the road while we were looking at them, sweaty from the heat with broad grins on our faces.

    Girls love these things, but you see, in each instance it’s wholesome guys complimenting the local girls in a joking way. This is the kind of relaxed flirting you can have when there are no alien elements screwing up the equation, threatening, forcing all to be weighed down by suffocating laws and caution and fear and doubt. This is what natural life is like.


  18. Playfulness is definitely one of the main tools in my toolbox, which I do naturally. In order to be successful though playfulness must be done for SELF-AMUSEMENT, not to entertain the girl. If it is the latter, you become a ‘dancing monkey’, a funny guy they’ll laugh with but not sleep with.

    Two great examples of the great effectiveness of playfulness, who were both manly and effortlessly playful, were Errol Flynn and Marat Safin.


  19. Im always playful after i get what i want…


  20. Playfulness in bed is the best. Those moments before and after sex when Jon takes advantage of our sexual and emotional state to break it a little with a joke, a tickle, some semi-offensive banter* or by turning it into a sort of wrestling match always ends up heightening the mood ten times as quickly as it dropped. Taking sex “too seriously” can sometimes ruin the fun.

    *This is probably best kept for tomboys or women you know very well, some girls may find it an extreme turnoff, rather than funny, to be called “Peppa Pig’s bigger sister” when they ask how they look nude or if they’ve got fat.


    • Agreed. Sometimes sex is Discovery Channel-serious, sometimes the woman and I are in a silly mood. If the moment feels ripe for playfulness, run with it. Playfully take control: OK, let’s be serious, hon! Usually leads to more laughing, tickling, etc. Amp it up for a bit. OK, really, no laughing allowed, I mean it this time! Have -fun- with it.
      A man who always tries to be on a deadly serious vag-slaying mission in bed is just that: trying. Don’t try, be yourself.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Exactly. Imagine if a woman just got down to business, scratched another notch into the bedpost and sent you on your way, and this happened every single time. I guess to a man it would feel more like being with a professional woman than the emotional explosion that happens to women in that situation, but it seems unpleasant nonetheless. Especially when something daft happens. For example, it would have been plain wrong not to laugh and joke that time when halfway through we suddenly heard the “Who wants chowder?” vomiting scene from Family Guy.


    • I fricken hate laughter in bed. Telling jokes? WTF talk about scene-breakers.

      Wait, am I replying to a woman???


      • “Diff’rent strokes” and all that.

        And yes.


      • Jokes… In Bed… sigh.
        I am so glad that many Red Pill bloggers have debunked the idea of helpful female advice. It’s nice to giggle at the train wreck of semi-cogent thoughts and move along.

        Ma’am there are many things that I do while laughing. Maintaining wood is not one of them. While milk squirting hee-haws may work for the XX folks. It is absurd to believe that laughter helps once the battle flag is flying.

        Really sweety… check out the hottest sex scenes in the movies. Any laughs in that soundtrack? Any?

        Sometimes women should really assess whether the help or just confuse.


      • Jokes… In Bed… sigh.
        I am so glad that many Red Pill bloggers have debunked the idea of helpful female advice. It’s nice to giggle at the train wreck of semi-cogent thoughts and move along.

        Yet if CH had written it you would have found a way to reason why it’s a good thing, methinks.

        Come on, playfulness in bed is a common thing. Things don’t have to be so exact. Sometimes people forget the rule about how the rules you hear in the manosphere are not meant to apply in every single case. They are guidelines. Sometimes they are guidelines that apply in well over 90 percent of cases, but none of them apply in every case. There are always exceptions. As for bed, there will probably be few women who would enjoy it if you were playful with her the majority of times, but sometimes – of course. Especially when you have been together for a long time you will have variation.


  21. on November 27, 2014 at 4:55 am Women are the rake

    Nomination for beta of the month:


  22. O.T. Thank you Heartiste and all the regular commenters here for opening my eyes over the last few years. I’ve never met any of you, but I feel a closer bond to you guys that most of my family. Crazy how that can be. Have a good Thanksgiving.


  23. Submitting Errol Flynn for Alpha of the century award

    a few interesting facts

    >expelled from 3 schools by age 15 for having sex with the school laundress and constant fighting

    >went to new guinea at age 18 to be a slave trader and gold prospector amongst other jobs and ended up killing a native in self defense, being tried for murder and being acquitted

    >had a job as a sheep castrater in Australia but had to flee after his boss found him in bed with his daughter and threatened to shoot him with a shotgun

    >nearly died after overdosing on medication to cure gonorrhea

    >had his belly slashed open after getting into a fight with a rickshaw man over not paying him a tip

    >had an affair with an 45 year old rich married woman in his early 20s and ‘borrowed’ her jewels off her bedside table before legging it, later when he became famous he attempted to track her down to pay her back

    >when he first moved to Hollywood he let everyone assume he was from Ireland because it was ‘easier that way’

    >When banned from drinking on a film set, he would inject oranges with vodka and eat them during his breaks

    >beat the shit out of an extra on a film set because he knocked him off a horse

    >One day on the set, director Vincent Sherman was dismayed to find that Errol had failed to appear on time for a scene. He got a female extra to go and retrieve him. 15 minutes later there was still no sign of Flynn. Sherman, irate, barged into Flynn’s dressing room – and was shocked to find him stark naked, having sex with the woman.The film in question? The Adventures of Don Juan!

    >had to climb out the back window of a brothel in Cuba after a local girls school found out he was inside and all the students and teachers stood cheering and dancing outside waiting for his exit

    >was constantly involved in bar brawls and fights with police throughout his life

    >While filming an action-packed scene one day, famed director Michael Curtiz, a stickler for realism, ordered an army of extras to throw authentic spears at Flynn. In a fit of anger, Flynn, dodging a hail of lethal projectiles, raced across the set – and headed straight for Curtiz. The director’s response? He beat a hasty retreat – and promptly called out: “Lunch!”

    >While visiting a lesbian bar in Paris one night, Errol noticed his girlfriend slow-dancing with a tough dike. Flynn stepped in to pick a fight – and was promptly punched out. “If they hear about this in Hollywood,” he gasped from the floor, “I’m finished.”

    >once went waterskiing with his best friend David Niven and Davids girlfriend. He then cut the rope on Niven leaving him stranded in the sea full of sharks then zoomed off in the motorboat to have sex with his girlfriend

    >hosted cockfights in his house

    >once his beloved dog fell overboard and drowned and a snide columnist wrote a cheeky article about flynn failing to rescue his dog….When Flynn seen him in a restaurant one night he flattened him with a single punch, however he got a fork in the ear for his troubles off the columnists wife

    >once tricked a Washington diplomat into showing up to one of his partys naked promising him a sex fueled orgy. He was let int he front door by a naked maid and instructed to remove his clothes. He did this with a big smile on his face at the sight of this beautiful naked maid. He was led into the party room where there was 30 fully clothed people all in uncontrollable laughter.

    >bugged the ladies bathroom of his Hollywood mansion so he and his friends could hear what women were saying about them in the toilet. (from what he heard he concluded that women are much dirtier than men)

    >Gossip columnist Hedda Hopper told a story about how Errol Flynn, angered about an item she put in a column about him, appeared on her doorstep. When she answered the door, he was facing her… masturbating.
    “I began laughing,” Hopper said, “and continued laughing until he finished with a dramatic flourish all over my doorstep. I’ll say one thing for Errol. He’s the only man I know who can ejaculate in front of a fully dressed woman who’s laughing derisively during the entire process.” Flynn then said ”Will you invite me to come here again?”

    >rejected from the US army for a number of health problems including a bad heart, malaria and numerous venereal diseases

    >Was tried on 2 counts of statutory rape in 1942 but was acquitted

    >met his second wife aged 18 years old while she was working at a snack counter in a courthouse during his statutory rape trial

    >the phrase ‘in like Flynn’ is coined after him referring to his success with women

    >when he sold his mansion due to being in debt the new owners had 3 trucks come to take away the empty vodka bottles Flynn and his drinking buddies threw out the window into the ravine behind

    >was a big supporter of and drinking buddies with Fidel Castro

    >was rumored to put his own semen in the omelets he sometimes made for his guests

    >loved to sail aboard his yacht. An admiring fan once got herself invited aboard and Errol showed her the view from below the deck. The fan’s husband angrily boated out to the yacht and demanded his spouse. The wife dove off Errol’s yacht and started to swim to her mate’s boat. Before she made it the husband sailed off. So did Errol.

    >Flynn’s yacht was such a hotbed of sexual activity that he frequently flew a flag reading “FFF” – short for “Flynn’s Flying Fuckers.” Flynn kept tabs on everyone’s conquests in a score book, and presented notable performers with a badge depicting a penis.

    >was nearly killed on multiple occasions at gunpoint after being caught by a man in bed with his wife

    >stated that his behavior in brothels throughout his life had been exemplary and they were about the only establishment he was never thrown out of

    >after John Barrymore’s death in 1942, director Raoul Walsh, actor Peter Lorre and a few other jokers, dragged his corpse into Errol Flynn’s living room while he was off drinking and sat it in a chair.When Flynn returned home from the pub, he took off his coat, nodded to Barrymore, took three steps toward the bar, and froze.”Oh, my God!” he cried, before cautiously approaching Barrymore and poking him. Flynn and the others promptly burst out laughing and they all had a well-needed drink.

    >drank over a litre of vodka a day

    >was a chain smoker his entire life

    >bought a small island in the Caribbean but then lost it in a poker game

    >died at age 50 from multiple organ failure due to alcoholism, autopsy showed he had body of 75 year old man when he died

    >most famous quote ‘if i have any genius at all, its a genius for living’


  24. Hahaha 🙂 Happy Holiday, Heartiste! Never lose the childlike wonder 🙂


  25. Excellent analysis of amused mastery


  26. Fucking lol at the escalator kid. That was great.

    For the guys who need the nuts & bolts step by step of HOW to be playful (no shame, I was the same way when I started), here’s a refresher read:

    “Playful men appear to suffer no worldly burden. They seem at ease, living in the moment, stress-free and unconcerned with public opinion.”

    This is basically why I can get laid even tho parts of my life are struggling (currently working my ass off to pull my finances out of the shitter but objectively super poor at the moment, still got my beer belly, still only have a couple shirts and one pair of shoes with holes in it lol). Because despite all that, I trust that I’ll be turning my situ around in the next couple years and I have enough field experience to know that none of that really affects attracting women. Give me 10 minutes to talk away my finances and chubbiness and I will bed the hottie at the bar lol

    Contrast that with other guys who are taking life WAY too seriously and hate their careers but are trapped in them, or feel ashamed and embarrassed that they’re wearing the same shirt they wore last week and think people will notice or kudhe them, or feel self-conscious because they forgot to do their pre-bar workout to get a last minute pump and if they just shaved off that last 1% of body fat that’s covering their 6-pack like their training buddy has then they would look better, etc etc

    The majority of guys are a barrel of insecurities and lack feelings of being worthy of getting hot girls. They keep looking thru the lens society gave them of “do you have a BMW and a 6-pack and are you tall? No? Then you don’t DESERVE that hottie yet. You should stick to the 6s until you shed more fat or until you get that new condo to take them back to.”

    So those guys can’t HAVE a playful fun vibe to life, because they’re weighing themselves down with their own mental baggage that girls don’t even CARE about (except in a long-term Provider, which you don’t wanna be).

    I’ve gone out in field with guys who like, had one thing go bad at work like the boss didn’t like their presentation, or some minor thing in their personal life like a bad haircut, and it’s the END OF THE FUCKING WORLD to them lol. They are bitching about work all thru out pre-game, reenforcing their negative mood and victim complex, they’re fixing their hair over and over trying to get it to look right in-between trying on hats to cover it up, like it’s ridiculous.

    Meanwhile I’m sitting there with objectively way worse problems in general but I’m happy as a clam because I trust that I’ll survive my problems and we’re about to go be surrounded by pretty girls and fun energy and we’re gonna talk to those girls and maybe even pull them and it’s going to be an awesome night. We’re young(ish), and free and have our health and live in a city where there are girls and fun out there…I’ll deal with my problems tomorrow, tonight will just be a fun adventure.

    So I’m giving off the same vibe that a rich CEO who works 4 hours a week and has a BMW and closet full of suits and the perfect bodyfat percentage etc and is legitimately carefree an playful has. To girls we have the same vibe so they assume I must have all my shit together.

    Tyler calls this “lowering your threshold for happiness” or “lowering your criteria for success” where he points out that people in poor 3rd world cultures can still be happy even if they don’t have the newest iPhone or a car etc. because just surviving to the next day is something to celebrate. Social conditioning drills into us that we can never be happy because we can always be improved by the next product that comes along. Sure you’re happy you have that shirt for a while…but don’t cha know? That shirt is no longer cool, you new this NEW shirt or you’re a loser. If you want to be happy you gotta buy this new shirt man. This is what consumerism is based on…make you feel shitty unless you have the newest products and more/better products than your neighbors.

    But what if you could turn all that off and realize that you can just BE happy. Right now, with no reasoning behind it. You can just feel GOOD. You can feel, right now, the exact same way you feel when you get a new shirt or buy a BMW. It’s mental, you don’t need to justify it, you can just feel good all of the time.

    People who meet me think I’m extremely carefree and must be doing well. Guys who are WAY better off than me will tell me they wish they were as laid back and carefree as me when I’m like shit I WISH I had your life lol but I trust myself to succeed at what I want, I understand it can be a long slow process to achieve success, I know that stressing it all night won’t fix it, and I know that even without that success I deserve hot girls so when I’m out talking to girls I’m playful and fun while a lot of other guys are standing along the edge of the bar with a drink up at their chest dwelling in neuroses and insecurities.

    I’ll find some vids to link on the topic when I get a chance. Also Hunter I’m workin on that 30 day breakdown lol just swamped with work at the moment.


    • @YaReally thanks man! Can’t wait for it.

      As for the last couple of weeks, I like randomly reverted back to old behaviors. rather than doing all the stuff that I used to do:

      Self-amusement, outcome-independence, sexual innuendo, fucking shit up, leading it forward, callback humor etc.

      But anyway, now that I’m aware of it, I’m just gonna focus on unstifling myself throughout the night. It’s not about the girls, guys, it’s about YOU. If you’re not calibrating back throughout the night, you’re doing something wrong.

      Anyway, don’t let me stop you from working lol FBGM


      • “As for the last couple of weeks, I like randomly reverted back to old behaviors. rather than doing all the stuff that I used to do.”

        Happens to us all from time to time. I’m coming out of a bout of semi-Oneitis myself. Was giving too much attention to one broad. Oxytocin is a bitch and fakks with your mind. Was thinking about her when it wasn’t helpful and it messed up my playful attitude and screwed up my frame.

        The semi-Oneitis didn’t stop the frequent fun&games with Mrs. Gamer, which is why I called it “semi”. My serious attitude did carry over to Mrs. Gamer, which caused problems and I just need to reestablish my playful attitude.


  27. Hello Yareally, HABD, Walawala, wanted to give an update on my spinning or slowly crashing plates.

    1. 38YO Columbian who did not like me telling her what to do. If you remember she was into arguing with me. And was not going to let it go. So after 2nd date I just left and let her go. No contact. The masters on here recommended that I wait a couple of weeks and then ping her. Sure enough last week she called and hung up. So I waited another week and sent her this ping text. Recommended by Wala: Oy! There was not response. That was 3 days ago. Not sure what is going on here. But she is probably lonely during the holidays. But she is not responding either.

    2. This was the 33YO hottie from Texas that visited and almost got the bang but then got cockblocked by my so called friend. Advice was to wait then Ping and just make plans for her to come out. So I did this. She did respond a little more quickly this time. But my text game is not witty and went no where . Here is the string.
    Me: OY!
    Her: Heyo!
    Me: Hey cutie there is some really cool events going on here in December…come on down the week of the first and we will tear up this town

    Nothing back. Silence so far.

    3. Finally I got a text last night from the 31YO Indian gymnast last night. If you remember she was really into me. We had awesome times together. And sexually was some of the best ever. She was almost perfect except for one thing. She drank…a lot. And one night it got bad. And I basically split with her. She was mad but we did not talk after that. That was about 4 months ago. Then this text exchange last night.
    Her: Hey how r u? 7:34 PM
    Me: Hey girl 8:25 PM
    Her: Miss me? 8:51 PM (shit test)
    Me: Big plans for Thanksgiving 9:15 PM (not responding to shittest)
    Her: Just the usual family stuff, how about you? 7:41 (this morning)

    Thinking I will invite her out for drinks on Friday night. What do you guys think? Probably still has drinking problem but she is a great fuck and a lot of fun, maybe she has straightend up a. But probably not.


    • @Reco Bang the Indian…no brainer. Forget the other two. If a girl is interested she’ll make the effort. The Ping texts you sent were perfect. But they lead no where. Right now I have a “Friend” visiting. She’s up for meeting. She makes the effort to meet up. She’s got a fiancé so I don’t escalate unless I get a more clear set of IOI’s.

      The 23 year old has gone radio silent and when I see her out, I now blank her.

      You need to be tough. Game more girls. I banged 11 this year. I ruminated about one. The rest I can barely remember. You should work towards that ideal.


    • Ive been reading your story man, and it just radiates really really bad oneitis even though you got a few girls going. When you OBSESS over a girl(s) it tanks your game man.

      The whole point of having multiple girls is so you DONT think about them, not that you obsess 3x as much.


      • If you find yourself obsessing about one broad, get really angry about it. That helps to break the spell. If you find looking at her picture unpleasant, you’re on your way.

        Use other girls as distractions when you feel the temptation to obsess.


    • 2. Hey cutie there is some really cool events going on here in December…come on down the week of the first and we will tear up this town

      Should probably have told her a specific event to go to.

      3. One has to wonder what would make a woman ruin her skin by excessive drinking. But from what you are saying, of course, ask her out for drinks.


      • HABD:

        I concur about busting a woman’s bad behavior/frame and initiating a compliance test. Field report follows.

        I danced with a redhead several times last night. One time I asked her and she said Ok. The dance hostess was talking to the group. Another guy came up and she started chatting him up. She turned her back to me. I turned my back to her and started looking for someone else to dance. I approached and I danced with the new girl. The redhead ended up dancing with another woman.

        Later I approached the redhead and told her that I left because she seemed totally engrossed in her convo which must have been important. Totally not butthurt or accusatory. She asked me to dance immediately and we danced a second dance after that as well. She initiated a boob brush after the second dance. Nice figure and nice boobs, too, heh.

        The redhead initiated her own compliance test after I busted her behavior. She was looking to regain rapport. Her turning her back to me was a 5h1t test. When I danced with another woman so quickly and the redhead had to dance with another woman, it was a DHV.

        This is all social circle stuff. We all know each other.

        I didn’t consciously think through these things at the time. I’m a natural.


    • Me: Hey cutie there is some really cool events going on here in December…come on down the week of the first and we will tear up this town

      “Cutie” is try-hard. Better is “chickie”, which says that she needs to qualify herself. Fewer words with better pull are needed. Specific events.


    • so I’m confused here…you already fucked the 31 year old alkie indian yet you’re still sperging over what she says or does? She’s already in the bag, just fuck her when u feel like it. I am still bangin chicks off and on that I started with 5 years ago…in between boyfriends, whenever. This should not be an issue once you cross the goalline.

      I probably ping girls that I haven’t banged yet more than I should according to “game theory.” The reason I do this is because I do not honestly give a fuck what they think. I am just trying to hit it and they probably already know that which is I’d say my #1 reason that girls go silent.

      Just move on to other targets and ping them at whatever frequency you feel like. The reality with women is that it really won’t matter what you do if at that MOMENT they are thinking of u or into you. If you happen to ping when she’s down, she’ll reply. If not, she won’t. It’s really that simple


    • on November 28, 2014 at 2:43 pm having a bad day


      38 yo –

      wait a week, then institute YaReally text flirting protocol…lol…SELF-amused texting (what do YOU find funny about teasing her?), engage her then randomly stop…late night texting (sexual fantasies/etc…)…with NO mention of meeting up (could take a couple months, but that’s the price you pay for falling into her frame…that or no sex…lol)…start out slightly beta (to get her to respond), then move to alpha/sexual frame. this will be a good chance for you to practice texting game…lol

      just remember, think before texting…NO direct questions…NO direct answers to her questions…and sexualize early and often…lol

      33 yo –

      “Me: OY!
      Her: Heyo!
      Me: Hey cutie there is some really cool events going on here in December…come on down the week of the first and we will tear up this town”

      do you see how the sub comms on this exchange require her to be present for you to have fun? = beta/no tingles…as opposed to you having fun and inviting her along for the ride…

      Me: OY!
      Her: Heyo!
      Me: Hey i’m going to some really cool events here in December…come on down the week of the first and you can help me tear up this town

      see the difference?

      also, small niggle…OY! = too much investment/excitement at communicating with her…’oy!’ might be better…lol…see how that is ‘less’…?

      note – these are small points but you are dealing with her subconscious evaluation of alpha/beta (since this is pre-bang)…and it all adds up to give her hindbrain an overall view of your genetic potential…tingles = she will move mountains to get the D…lol…

      31 yo –

      tell her (don’t ‘invite’) where to meet you…also, notice how she assumes that you are asking about HER plans for thanksgiving (even with out a ‘?’…), rather than you telling her that YOU have big plans…lol. you could (SHOULD if you want to be alpha stud…) tease her about that…since not busting on her about that = her frame…

      also, you could have teased her about her ‘Miss me?’ text…with ‘who is this’

      you should reengage, and if YOU were the one who left, you should tell her what to wear, too…make her jump through a hoop (compliance test) to get back to you…

      you: meet me at xxx at yyy. wear skirt and heels…

      then, standard meet up protocol = show up a little late, if she’s not there, leave and treat it like a flake…or better…game that cute girl at the bar who IS there…lol…

      looks like you have some GREAT opportunities to practice text game…lol…remember ALL and ANY text should be focused on meeting up in person (and this applies to 38 yo, too. do you see why NOT bringing up meeting up meets this goal?)…this will be good practice…

      good luck!


  28. That part of me is DEAD. I have only HAAAAtred to give the galaxy.

    Yessssss. Let the hate flow thrrrrough yooouuuuu


  29. OT Story About Bitter Older Women

    I live in Asia.

    Recently I took a business trip to a neighboring country. In the immigration line some older American broad (mid 50s-ish) starts talking to me.

    Turns out she just arrived on an Asian “Adventure Tour” for her age group. When she learns I’m married to an Asian woman she immediately starts in with the inquisition.

    How do you compare Asian women to American women? A lot of men I know just can’t handle American women.

    Did you meet your wife online? (No, I didn’t.)

    Asian women are more subservient, aren’t they?

    And on and on like this. Then she moaned about not being able to find a man (erm…I mean men not being able to handle smart, strong, sassy American women like her) and how many American men just go overseas to find a good woman.

    I wanted to tell her “Ma’am, the reason American men don’t want a relationship with you is because you bust their balls…just like you’re doing to me now, a total stranger.”

    My educated, professional Asian wife takes her wifely duties seriously. Dinner on the table every night, takes care of the house, primary caregiver for our son (I help when I’m home).

    I have a job which is providing for the family. She has a job which is taking care of the family. These are equal, if separate, roles. It fits like hand in glove. We’re both very happy.

    It used to be like this in my grandmother’s day. She actually used to tell me “What happened to women today? Staying at home with children is a good life.”

    What happened, indeed.


  30. Here’s what’s becoming a weekly update on this particular girl.

    For those of you questioning my effort in typing all of this out, rest assured I’ve got other plates spinning and this is mostly for edification and learning for me. Plus it’s like breaking a safe; I’m enjoying the challenge.

    So I left off where I had sent a picture of a beaver chewing on a stick, last Thursday.

    11/20/14 @ 12:43 pm me:
    11/21/14 @ 12:45 am her:
    11/21/14 @ 1:03 am me: Cute baby. Yours?
    11/21/14 @ 4:54 am her: Yeah I had time to pop out a baby while getting a 4.0 at while working blah blah blah. She’s the baby I nannied for back in XX.

    So needless to say, her response was off-putting and I sort of lost interest for a few days, and didn’t reply. Last night I was a little bored so I started up a new thread:

    7:28pm me: I don’t really like turkey.
    7:29pm her: I like mashed potatoes.
    7:30pm me: A woman after my own heart. Going home?
    7:31pm her: Nope I’m sticking around.
    7:33pm her: Are you?
    7:33pm me: Yep. Let’s go have a drink on Friday.
    7:58pm me: Mm, I’m starting to think you are too shy for me.
    8:00pm her: Really? I was starting to think you didn’t communicate well enough.
    8:04pm me: Hah you’re pretty new at this huh?
    8:13pm her: At talking to jerks?
    8:36pm me: Well I was referring to the okcupid thing but it’s cute how you always speak your mind.
    8:45pm her: So you think it’s “cute” when women have opinions?
    8:52pm me: Don’t you think we would have beautiful babies?
    8:54pm her: I have no idea.
    8:55pm me: Good English stock, amirite?
    8:58pm me: Anyway, I’m going to hang out with my non-Internet friends. Come join us if you want. Karaoke.
    10:59pm her: Where are you doing karaoke? [Game just completely and irrevocably validated in my mind.]
    11:18pm me: Come to
    11:51pm her: Where though??
    12:12am me:

    She didn’t show up, and I never expected her to, but I thought inviting her out with my friends would show I don’t have anything to hide from her. I feel like I’m getting close though with this particular little snowflake.


  31. Classic negs:
    A guy I work with told this girl “You look tired” without realizing that women take that to mean they are ugly. She subsequently spent several minutes in the bathroom trying to make herself look prettier.

    It works!


    • I like to use that when the first words out of their mouths are “I’m tired”… which seems to be endemic, even amongst twenty-somethings.

      When they hear the agree and amplify “Yes, you LOOK tired, indeed.”, you’d be surprised how they suddenly perk up in chagrin and begin trying to justify themselves or, as you say, discreetly head to the bathroom to doll up.


    • Nice. I’m remembering this one for shore


  32. Interesting. Proof that everyone can see things differently. Where H sees Alpha confidence, I saw a pitiful display of attraction followed by a shame-faced display of “oh shit, now I have to make my LJBF explicit.”

    But, the proof is in the pudding. I can get behind H’s analysis of this gif if for no other reason than he’s right about playfulness. It works brothers. So, instead of imagining this young man getting LJBFed I’ll imagine him getting laid instead in some awkward on the floor while the parents are out on date night situation, a more pleasant scene altogether anyway.


    • We can’t know the story about this particular gif – whether they know each other, are friends or a couple. But it works as illustration for the point CH is making.

      I think playfulness needs to be pointed out a bit more. Too often people take the idea of acting aloof to show you have many options, and run with that alone. Some even make an internet game of it, “winning” threads by declaring that those with other ideas are trying too hard. Playfulness has always been part of game. You can even be goofy in the right time and place.

      You do, of course, need to establish that you have a mature side too.


  33. Dull boys are never witty.

    Say what you will, Woody Allen was — for years on end — a sex idol for millions of women because he was witty — which totally over rode his nerdy, needy, screen persona. (Regularly listed in the top ten ‘sexiest men alive compilations’ in the tabloids.)

    Now THAT’S saying something.

    He was also actually getting plenty of poon, too.

    Jerry Seinfeld also got P L E N T Y.

    Women are drawn to smarts — IF the man demonstrates wide social knowledge, social graces, and can roll with the punches.

    The latter includes surviving wicked ‘shit tests’ spewed out by gals in the meet market.

    Of course, listening to a nerd propound on physics, WoW, or any arcana is a total turn off.

    Never ‘talk shop.’

    You’d be surprised at how many dweebs kill the mood by talking ‘off course.’

    Again: one should always stay on the escalation ladder.


    Don’t accept the notion that you have to accept her politics/ activism to strip her panties.

    You’d be amazed at how politically flexible a babe gets when Mr. Right Stuff looms into view.

    For many co-eds, a solid soul with classic values — like daddy — often proves irresistible… and they just can’t put their finger on why.

    Women are biologically programmed to conventional thinkers and pack animals. (Herd/ collective behavior is feminine going back about 200 million years.)

    If you ever run into an ‘independent’ female ‘thinker’ — she’s either ugly or a lesbian — probably both. I give you most of the female comics you’ve ever viewed.

    To be a successful (female) lover requires entirely conventional behaviors. Outliers are (sex market) rejects.

    Great wit is strictly ‘a guy thing.’

    There’s no small amount of social dueling involved, too.

    Social wit — see Original Post, above — is rare — and always seductive.

    If you’ve got it, play to it.


  34. I was at a restaurant today having a beer after a hike. Two other men and a woman were also there. We had all just met today. Not a woman-orbiters situation. The woman seemed introverted and tended to be quiet. I was the only one drinking and only had one beer.

    So two of us men started talking about our crazy experiences. I mention the one about my involuntary college streaking and the other guy talks about something similar. The other guy challenges the woman to talk about one of her crazy stories and she does, then reveals that she traveled in Italy. I asked her if Italian men are as wonderful as their reputation, and she started talking about an Italian chef whom she met there and indicated a romantic fling.

    I mentioned several times during the convo that I was married. I left early and the woman gave me several IOI’s. One, strong eye contact about the Italian. Two, strong eye contact when discussing how autists see things. Three, she says good bye to me somewhat louder than the men do as I’m walking away.


  35. on November 28, 2014 at 12:57 am Thanksgiving Grilling

    Dear Heartiste and Acolytes, need your urgent assistance on a holiday manner:

    I’ve been casually dating this girl for the last 10 months (sex on second date) invites me over to Thanksgiving, offering to drive me to her place. I already know that there will be expectations and shit tests – but I don’t overly care about the relationship and I want to explore what I can get away with so I go.

    Her best friend is there. She is a loud femcunt with one of the most beta boyfriends I’ve seen in a long time. Reminds me of me a few years back before discovering this site.

    After dinner while we’re sitting around the living room, I get grilled. The girl I’m dating, her mom, her best friend, and best friend’s boyfriend are all sitting around. One rapid fire question after another is directed from the Best friend to me. Her parents joke it off as an ‘interrogation’ but that’s how it feels. The best friend is smart – interspersing

    I try to be playful and dismiss some of the questions (“What’s your biggest weakness?” —- *smirk* “I’m TOO perfect” ) but she comes on relentlessly with a loud voice and forceful inflection. I am humbled to say that I find myself outmatched.

    Not sure how it ended up being perceived by those gathered, but at times I felt as if I was trying too hard to deflect questions with humor (perhaps not polished on my badinage).

    Please advise on how you would approach this situation.


    • It sounds like you kept your frame, so I’d say you successfully ran the gamut. If you held strong then your squeeze will continue to see you as a Man, and now you have the upper hand because she made you sit through all of that bullshit. You can tease her about her family, about her friend, and anytime she suggests a date that you find boring.
      Most people would get somewhat rattled under the 3rd degree. Ideally you would have shut her up, but you also could have simply given her a blank stare, maybe turned and started talking to someone else like she wasn’t there at all. Maybe turn to BetaBoy and asked him how much he benches, something like that.


    • @Thanksgiving Grilling

      What you are feeling is the result of being AMOG’ed, butcept by a womyn…

      Just run standard counter-AMOG tactics on her…

      Be Teflon. Give boring short answers

      Push back to the group – “whoa I wasn’t expecting a job interview here, just looking for a little turkey” “Who brought this girl”?

      Engage others in the group, ignoring the AMOG “So GF Mom, that was some great turkey, is that an old family recipe?”, “So GF Mom, tell me a story of the craziest Thanksgiving”.

      Steal the stage “Here is a funny story… and DHV story”

      Turn the tables “So beta Boy – tell me how long have you lovebirds been together? How did you meet? who asked out who first”? “wedding bells ringing? etc.


  36. I have a feeling most heartiste readers are not playful.


  37. Playfulness work primarily because it quickly resolves women’s primary evolutionary concern regarding men.

    To women, a playful man is most likely NOT a physical threat to her.

    Male Playfulness establishes two keys to necessary for seduction:

    1. SAFETY
    2. COMFORT


    • Nope, playfulness engages the woman. The man makes an emotional connection with the woman which challenges her sexually. See my post about Sexual Macrodynamics. Playfulness is part of Grappling and the Chase. This is very threatening to the woman and very exciting as well.


      • O…. K ………….


      • Sex is inherently physically/economically/emotionally threatening to women because of the possibility of injury by engaging a much stronger person, possibility of pregnancy (risks of childbirth and effects of potential children on their future, etc.), potential STDs, possibility of being perceived as a slut or being dumped, etc.


  38. This post is mostly due to my own curiosity, but how would you handle the set at 2:57. They guy demonstrates bad body language and doesn’t use negs but the girls are pathologically rude and physically abusive.


    • @remember

      dude lost the PU at 2:56…lol…

      check out how fast he approaches the set…he practically runs up to them…lol…at this point they just start shit testing him hard…note – if you CAN field shit tests, this might be a great way to get into a set…

      then, at the same time, when he approached them face on and engaged them directly…lol…wow, blown out in less than one sec…about par for the course on day game…beta style…lol…

      then, he compounds his errors at 2:59, when he reflexively ‘blocks’ his midsection = defensive posture = beta…

      then, at 3:02, he leans in = beta…no wonder she kicks him…her hindbrain is repulsed…

      HOWEVER…at least he is out trying…HE can get better. guys that don’t even play will never even have a chance…


      • HABD:

        “check out how fast he approaches the set”

        Heh, I always approach sets fast.

        To a 6: “Wanna dance?”
        6: “No”

        Rinse and repeat 6 times. Actually, a 7 finally said “yes” who couldn’t dance at all. All in less than a minute.

        Gaming a couple of broads who I invited to go dancing with me. I told ’em I’d pick ’em up at one place if they’d buy me a drink and we’d swap crazy fun stories and dance. I’d be the DD and it’s a ways to the dance bar. They could crash at one of their places–the one where I picked them up.

        One said she’d have to leave early–has to work in the morning. Would drive herself. No word yet from the other, who is the one who called me “gay”. These two are friends, so maybe the friend leaving is intended for isolation, along the lines of “3’s a crowd.”

        I’m just waiting and not replying…not too keen on the unenthusiastic reply. Lots of options for outs. Got another option in the works–a holiday party.


    • This embarrassment-to-men douche-chill inducing pismire accosts two girls and you call it a “set”… and the gals “pathologically rude” and “physically abusive”?

      I’d say they showed marked restraint.

      Avaunt, thou South Park refugee.

      (((shakin’ mah haid)))


    • I would yank on those suspenders for starters…


  39. This is so true – women of all ages love this in men – it’s a sign of a truly comfortable, masculine & confident man 🙂 love it!


    • I told a woman about my involuntary streaking episode where 3 frat bros. stripped me and 3 girls were watching–I knew one of them and the other two were their sorority sisters. The one I knew was the gf of the frat pres and she always flirted with me when I was going to shower dressed only in my towel. I hid in a pine tree and she gave me her jacket to cover my front. That was after she had a full view, of course. The frat pres told me that his gf had a crush on me and he had the 3 guys do it for her. Weird, but funny. One morning after that when I was going to shower she flirted again and I pinned her against the wall in my dorm and moved to kiss her. She turned her head away. After that she still flirted, but I ignored her.

      The frat pres and I lived next door to each other in the dorm and his gf cohabited with him in the dorm.

      The woman to whom I told this story first thought that my frat bros were mean. She didn’t seem much impressed by my story, except that she thought I must have had some interesting experiences at college. Probably I seemed weak.

      Maybe I’ll tell her the one where I chased off a thug who was following me and a woman whom I was escorting to the bus. I was 5’7″, 125# and the thug must have been 6’2″, 180+#. I didn’t seem so wimpy there, heh.


      • I don’t know… fraternity happenings really aren’t considered “weak”… they just happen as part of the humiliation/pride thing that guys do in those. My husband’s closest friend in college did the most stupid, humiliating things with the fraternity, but that’s just how it works when you’re in one of those I think.


      • Failed, trying to access your blog. Thought you might wanna know.


  40. I don’t agree that being funny means so much. It’s one of those things women will put on a list of things they want in a man but it doesn’t mean anything. A lot of good looking guys can have fun because they don’t have anything to worry about around women. So it looks like being ‘funny’ does the trick. I don’t think it factors in much at all. If a woman isn’t attracted to you in 7 seconds, hopping around and telling jokes will only put you further below her.


  41. For a red pill Sunday matinee: Magic in the Moonlight is chock full of negs. Chock!


  42. Posts like this from the Manosphere are really starting to tick me off. Why don’t you just recommend Roosh’s advice … do WHAT EVER women want, sell your soul to Satan for a little pussy. Guys are not supposed to like what THEY like or do what THEY want to do. What ever a chick wants … DO THAT … cause you are a moron and being manipulated and too stupid to see the truth about how you are being manipulated. Roosh sees the the truth … you want pussy ? Be a Clown, act like a Clown, dance, entertain, learn the latest celeb gossip and get a phone addiction. Be selfish and entitled. Yeah, like a woman. Want some pussy … do want WOMEN WANT and act like a woman. Of course if you are a real man, you won’t do that. Dark triad fucked up asshole ? Yeah, you’ll buy into that … I want pussy so get me a Clown suit !!!!!

    When is someone in the Sphere gonna take a stand. Tell men to do what THEY want and if women don’t like it they can go to hell. Tell men to man-up and act like a man … not like a woman and not like a fucking Clown. If dude wants pussy, then Porn is free and after you beat off a few times you will have little tolerance for the garbage dished out by women. If women don’t like men acting like men … then they can fuck themselves. IF women can’t woman-up and get their heads out of their asses, then men should be heading for the exits … MASS MGTOW. That is how we change things … not giving advice that men should act like fucking clowns. Jesus, that’s just pathetic.


    • Yeah a mass beat off to porn… Hoorahhh! That is manly as fuck bro… Massturbation – maybe you should start a blog.

      How about this – women aren’t the enemy. Come to terms with that. They are also NOT long haired boys. They are totally different. Understand that. Women love having sex, they are just programmed to be careful about it because they would historically have had to. Carry around a kid for 9 months. Dangerous. Act on that.

      That is all that game is, understanding the why and how of feminine attraction. Go forth and learn. There is much sex and happiness out there. Toss the Jergen’s in the trash and lose the bitterboy act.


    • Being a clown and being playful are not the same thing. People don’t mess with my husband, but he cracks me up when he sings “Vaginas in the Sky.” (This is his own variation of a Rihanna song replete with arm motions.)

      If you want a woman to “woman-up,” then you should have high expectations, and you should be ruthless in your selection and dating process. No question about it. Screen for conscientiousness and an ability to think of anyone other than herself.

      Personally, you sound right on the cusp of finding someone if you maintain your attitude. Sometimes you just have to get mad.


      • Clown = “trying hard to gain social approval through humor”

        Playful = “engaging a woman with humor, typically teasing”

        Playful humor is often inappropriate. It takes enough humor to justify the level of inappropriateness. Context matters a lot for appropriateness. It’s easy to be very inappropriate in church, but not so much in a bar at 2 a.m.

        It takes confidence to do inappropriate things and social intelligence to be able to calibrate whether the humor is enough to justify the inappropriateness.

        To any detractors: I know, all this breakdown is spergy of me. Ask me if I care about your worthless opinion, lolz.


  43. This guy is getting laid.


  44. on November 30, 2014 at 5:54 pm henry himbeere

    it takes ’em by surprise. Never be afraid to make a woman’s pussy wet.


  45. on December 2, 2014 at 3:24 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

    I’ve been watching ‘prank’ videos on Youtube and they’re fairly ingenious in conveying both playfulness and in making it all a game with prizes. I wish I was more playful – it does get damper with age if you have bad experiences and comes back when you get back in the groove or if you don’t mind recreational drug use.