Via The Other Anonymous, an anecdote that had my sides splitting from laughter.
Re: Texting – My 10 year old Daughter inadvertently hijacked iMessages so that I didn’t receive any texts and, for a couple weeks – unbeknownst to me, had running text exchanges with a cross-section of my adult life – friends, colleagues, lawyers, romantic interests, etc.
Once discovered I read this mass of messages. Texts from guys ended in about three exchanges and with instruction to call them when I’d sobered up. Texts from women went on for pages and pages … the more mundane, the longer they ran on:
Her: What are your plans this weekend?
10 YO Me: Girl Scout camp
Her: LOL I’m visiting my parents maybe take their boat out.
10 YO Me: My parents make me wear floaties on the boat
Now these are adult women, with families and careers – and none, not one, indicated suspicion that they were, in fact, speaking to a young girl.
The moral of this story is – Women can’t differentiate a text from a 40 year old man and a 10 year old girl … So, you must make it immediately apparent by using the universal, tried and true, one-size-fits all response to female Texts:
Fuckin A, I just reread that a second time and I’m laughing all over again. “My parents make me wear floaties on the boat, Her: LOL.” indeed!
There’s a Deep State Game lesson contained in TOA’s anecdote: 10-Year-Old Girl Game is a pretty good template for honing your Grown-Ass Man Game. Empowered, adult women can’t tell the difference between a 10-year-old girl’s texts and a grown man’s texts. To empowered, adult women who don’t know they’re texting a preteen girl, a 10-year-old girl’s texts and a sexy man’s texts both sound like ZFG, mischievous teasing to them, which turns them on so much they stick around to contribute pages and pages of texts, ecstatic with the cascade of professionally administered impertinent, flirty banter.
So the next time you’re texting an accomplished, proudly feminist lawyercunt, don’t make the mistake of speaking like an adult man clinging to his logic and linearity. Try chatting like a 10-year-old girl instead, if you really want to capture that confident, smart, adult woman’s imagination.
If you talk like a 10-year-old girl to your male friends, they’ll promptly tell you to sober up. Which is why the vote should have remained a male-only franchise.