How Men Can Dodge The Age Question

Pulled from a sexxxy players’ forum, here’s some advice for older (or younger) men who want to know how to handle large age differences, particularly as the issue applies to online dating, where inclusion of age in the profile is required.

I lie on my dating profile and put it 7 years younger.

When I get asked my age in person I tell the truth.

Then they say “but your profile says xx”

“Oh, yeah that’s because when I had my real age on there all these old chicks were messaging me as if I want that”.

Then I make a comical shudder.

Hasn’t failed me yet.

Almost poetry. Why does this work? One, he’s assumed the sale. “Why *wouldn’t* younger women want to be with me?” Girls love that. Two, he’s implied his high mate value. “I have options, and age-appropriate women aren’t one of them.” Three, he’s demonstrated that reckless, careless asshole attitude that drives women crazy with desire. “Yeah, I faked the funk. What of it?” Four, he’s implicitly qualified and complimented her. “I’m with you, which means you made the cut.”

This technique can be used for real world interactions as well. The effectiveness will depend to an extent on how invested in you she has become. If you later reveal your real age with an insouciant disregard for her potential outrage, her ability and willingness to forgive and forget will be directly proportional to the love, or lust, she feels for you. You can do this with a lot of conventionally perceived mate value negatives that may deep-six a courtship before it has had a chance to get off the ground. Strategically omit any facts about yourself that you suspect deviate from her “Mr. Right checklist” until a later time when her 463 bullet point checklist has surrendered to her one bullet point vagina tingle.

One other thing… as one of the forum members wrote, a redirecting, strategically deployed compliment can go a long way to defusing female indignation over your naughtiness.

When/if she finds out, just smirk, “did you really think I was 25?”.

Then be impressed at her ability to find out your real age. Chics love thinking they were clever and can’t be fooled.

This is Sun Tzu seduction: Using a woman’s fondness for flattery against her. Just be sure it doesn’t come across like a last-ditch hail mary. Delivery matters. Pleasantly amused surprise is what you should shoot for.


  1. on October 15, 2014 at 11:50 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

    da gbfm’s cockas soooo big
    it create a time warp
    and takes me backward or forwardsz
    up to 25 years
    whenever it
    ur mouthzhzllozozozoz
    (or ginazllzozl)
    but not da bungzz
    as i am not a frankfartaian tuckermaxiainz sevetieve taper
    of butetehxtxtxtzhtz


    • on October 15, 2014 at 11:53 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      Dalrock’s & Vox’s MEN’s Night “HAPPILY MARRIED FATHERS NEED GAMESZ BIBLE STUDY GROUP” at the Church Meets Right After da “Sisterhood of da Sore Bungholes in Search of Beta PRoviders Bible Study Groupz” Finally Batman and Robin stood up, and Batman said, “I am a happily married father, because unlike all you losososoersz, I have game.” lzolzlozlzo

      THIS Week da GBFM arrived a bit early for the Dalrock & Vox “HAPPILY MARRIED FATHERS NEED GAMESZ BIBLE STUDY GROUP” and I got to sit in on the “Sisterhood of da Sore Bungholes in Search of Beta PRoviders Bible Study Groupz.”

      Normally menz are not allowedz to attend such sacred eventez but one of da chix recognized da GBFM.

      “lotsas cockasz?” She asked.

      “Dats da name dey gave me!” I said.

      “IS dat da lostasts cockasz you were telling us about?” the head nunnery nun inquiredz.

      “Yah” she siad. “da lotstatss lossttats cockas zlzllzolzozlzol.”

      And all the girls giggled as the head nunnez said “well den pull up a chair and join us!”

      I kinda dosed offz as they discussed the best strategiesz for finding beta providersz for der bastard childrenz, some of whom knew me not as “lostas cockasz” but as “daddy” whatever the hell “daddy” means in this anti-Father age.

      Then one woke me up and got my numberz and a bunch of them wroterz it downz as one lsotas cockas can go a long long waysz and while dey get one egg per month da GBFM getsz a billion gallonsz of spermz, but mostly on thierz facesz as dat costs less in da long runzzznzn.

      dey finishup der meetting and sing der prayer, which i joined in:


      ten alphas pumped and dumped me
      so i considred myself a ten
      told all the betas “let’s wait and see,”
      and now i am a single old dried up hen.
      empowered today with my haughty blogs
      calling on men to man up everywhere
      where cocks once penetratd my hole for logs
      jesus now forgives me via my prayer
      please jesus please heal my sore butthole
      i repent so send a beta provider my way
      a good manned-up man with a good soul
      the ones i ignored back in the day
      but now i desrve me a nice nice moneyed guy
      to pay for dates while i make him wait ’til i die.

      to make him pay for what i gave away for free
      back when i was younger hotter tighter
      no longer can he butthext the reformed me
      like they did when i was fifty pounds lighter.

      so please jesus please help da men man up everywhere
      to marry da jesus-healed butts of slutty slutts
      and pay to raise our bastard kidz it’s only fair
      dat betas we don’t lay gotta pay & never touch our holey butts
      jesus holy jesus you had better answer our sisterhood’s prayer
      or da sisterhood of da sore buttholzizoz gonna cut off ur nutts.


      cluck clcukc cluck cluck clcuck
      clukc clcuclkuc lcuk clukck clcolzozlzozolzzoozzozlz

      shrtly tehrefater they all cleared out and then the hallejulah chorus struck up as the other menz showed up for Dalrock’s & Vox’s MEN’s Night “HAPPILY MARRIED FATHERS NEED GAMESZ BIBLE STUDY GROUP” at the Churc.

      In walked the Batman(DALROCKAS?) and Robin (VOX?) mask-wearing chruchian leaders all full of nobility and aplomb and noble rectitude rectitude means that somewon walkw ithe a fire poker shoved up their ass rectum dude, or rectitdude for short lzozozolzozozozo.

      One young man asked Batman, “I was hoping to be a fatherz, but my girlfriend aborted our baby without telling me.”

      “Wot?” Batmanz laughed. “Didn’t you learn GAME dude?”

      “YAh,” Robinz sated, “if you don’t make da gina tingle, she’ll toss the baby like a used pringle.”

      and they high-fived as they were wont to do.

      “YOU could have gamed her into having da babies you losersz!!!”

      “Wasn’t the sex good” Vox asked? “WOt IS your cockas too small?”

      “But abortion is the law of the land,” Another young man said. “Should we not seek to change the laws and make them more Chirstian?”

      Batman sniggered.

      Vox giggles.

      “What we have here,” Batman stated.

      “Is a playa hata!” Vix guffawed.

      “No instalacnhe for you!!!!! lzozoozloozozozlzolz”

      “In todays universitiesz there are less and less classes on the GReat Books for Men,” I stated. “If we could retrun the Classicla Code of Honor to da curriculumsz, then perhaps we could exalt marriaged, faith, and family.”


      “FReaud and MArcuse were the true fathers of da GBFM.” Stated Boxer from the back.

      “DA GBFM are silly silly,” Stated BAtman. “All one needs is a bit of game and a blog, and one will be a happily married fathersz!”

      “But if we broght back the Law of Moses which JEsus came to fulfill.. . .”

      “JESUS CAME TO ABOLISH THE LAW OF MOSES” snarked a frankfartian churchian fanboy, “TO MAKE WAY FOR DA DALROCKIAN REIGN OF GAME!”

      The frankfaritan churchian fanboywas asked to move towards the front of the class, and later on he joined dalrockckkaks and vox at the Lavish Churchian Dinner alongside Boxer the atheistz, for truly, unburdened by da Law of Moses and GBFM and Spirit of Christ they had what it takes to lead the church to nbew gamey heights and better serve the Repentant Sisterhood of the Sore Bunghozlzlzlozlzloozoz:



    • on October 15, 2014 at 12:45 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)


      he can’t control her
      because he’s so much older zlzoolzlzoz



  2. timely, thanks.

    last time it came up was a 25, she asked my age, i held up four fingers, she said 34? and i just moved on and let her assume it instead of 40. my response had been weak, this is better if i can work it in differently.

    the 25 was sort of surprised post-coitus when her other friend i’d messed around with told her my age but whatever. it’s something i can improve.


    • Women often think I am about five years younger. I have long been determined to not consume things that would speed up the aging process. You can also put the right kind of lotion on your skin after you shower. It costs you almost nothing and if it makes you look a lot younger later on, then why not?


      • Talking about age reminds me: My ex-gf was very petite and looked a lot younger than she really was. She could pass as sixteen, very unusual. We often had people giving our looks when we were out together, and middle-aged, scowling women would give me angry looks.

        Once when we were at a liquor store I saw a store clerk look at us and angrily whisper something to a male colleague. She was manning a table with free samples, and when we walked up to have a taste she asked for my gf’s ID after a cold look at me. After we had shown her the ID she incredibly didn’t bat an eye or look ashamed but immediately told us the rehearsed information about the samples. I guess that was impressive.

        Another time we went to a coffee shop and passed by a group of guys and girls about twenty years old. I could hear one girl say, “How old do you think she was?” with a disapproving voice as we sat down a bit away. It might not sound like a problem, but to have people talk about you behind your back isn’t fun.


      • @Arb – the looks, oh yes, the “looks”…..the older women with anger….the younger ones with jealousy…the old guys with envy…the young bucks with confusion.

        Love it – and so do the girls I’ve dated. Been attacked in the car several times by my girls after a dinner – usually preceded by a “Did you see the way she was looking at us?”

        Great stuff


      • @cheesetrader Yeah…it should have been fun but it wasn’t. And my ex was a very sweet girl who I didn’t want to see hurt. She couldn’t hurt a fly. And I get angry at people acting like pricks when they should shut up and mind their own business. I ended up feeling tensed when we were going out, wondering if something would be coming at us this time. If I had been on my own I could easily confront people, but with her by my side I couldn’t, she would feel bad from it.

        A coarser, ruder, darker world – worse than what it does to you, is what it does to the innocent people you care about. A girlfriend, or a child, growing up in this pigsty instead of in the safe, peaceful West we would have had without the media bosses turning everything to crap.


      • “Yeah…it should have been fun but it wasn’t.”

        yeah, that would get old and i can see how it would start to take a toll on a relationship.

        love really isn’t enough sometimes. real life factors do get in the way. sorry it worked out like that for you man.


  3. […] How Men Can Dodge The Age Question […]


  4. In real life interaction I always let them guess – since I look younger than I am and most girls are basing their estimates on how most men look like when aging they usually estimate me 5-10 years younger. I just congratulate them on their guessing prowess and do not correct them. And frankly most girls never ask – they know that I am way older but they like it – especially here being a Westerner in Eastern Europe.


  5. At what age do you start lying?


    • None. Stop giving a shit immediately at what she thinks at all. Women are not thinking about how old you will be tmr. They never plan ahead. The issue is tingles (woman truth) not culture (man truth). We are in a(n elite) man’s world of the (liberated by subsidy) woman’s netherworld now. Stop trying to build cathedrals. Too early in the cycle. For you, younger is lower cost and higher value always. Older chicks are for immediate slam dunks only.


      • Doug: “Stop giving a shit immediately at what she thinks at all.”

        Exactly. Hiding one’s age is a feminine trait. Worrying about one’s age is a feminine trait.

        The goal is to get into the girl’s party dress, not wear one yourself. If a girl has a problem with your age, and some will, so be it. Next.


      • Doug and Trainspotter, excellent points.

        And stop worrying so much about what is truth or isn’t. Women don’t care. They are using talking and conversation to find out how much of a man you are.

        When women ask my age, I’m 43, most of the time I just make a joke out of it and say something like “I’m 12 and a half. My mom says I really tall.”


      • Exactly, let women and gay men worry about their age. Straight men should be proud of their years, especially if they are in good health.

        CH: fretting about any unchangeable condition of life is never a good look on a man.


      • Another favorite, “Well, I graduated high school in ______” (make up something, either way older or way younger than the actual year. Then grin while you watch the wheels spin as they try to do math in their pretty little heads. It’s amazing just how bad even supposedly well-educated women are at simple arithmetic.


      • “X is for woman and gays” is actually a great response or conversation starter. Sexist, anti-homo, aggressive, third person- it embodies everything “bad boy” that woman like.

        Dating profile bio: Talking about yourself is for woman and gays.
        “You’re short” response: Good thing worrying about height is for woman and gays.
        “Do you have money”/”What’s your job”: Why do woman and gays always worry about that kind of stuff?


  6. At 40, I would put 32 on my profile. If the question came up, which didn’t happen often, I’d just reply that no one believed my pictures were recent if I had my real age on there. Granted, it was true, so that helped. I’ve also gone the other way at times and said I was 65 and ask them if they could give me a ride back to the senior center later.

    [CH: agree&amplify is a good tactic for neutralizing any age objections.]


    • when shit tested about my age i mistakenly said, i thought you looked mature for your age guess i was wrong. be careful not to shiv too deeply or get butthurt when things dont go smoothly


    • Brian: “I’ve also gone the other way at times and said I was 65 and ask them if they could give me a ride back to the senior center later.”

      I’ve done that too, and it works well. Playfulness, with good delivery, goes a long way. Her role is simply to amuse you, up to and until she proves that she brings something more to the table. In practice, bringing more to the table simply means that 1) she’s hot and 2) she laughs at my jokes, especially the bad ones.

      The key is to be comfortable with the fact that some girls will have a problem with your age. Their loss. Worrying about it, and adopting feminine practices of hiding the truth, may well give a short term victory here and there. But, ultimately, it’s unattractive for a man to have a feminine mentality. Let THEM be uncomfortable about their age. That’s their job. Yours is to be a man. You’re just a Jedi Knight, cool with the Force. She can take it or leave it.

      For the more audacious, if she makes the slightest issue about your age, counterattack in a teasing, playful fashion. I once claimed that I was actually younger than her, measured in dog years (the idea that women age faster than men, so therefore…). Use that approach at your own risk.


    • On the boot camp I took the 30 year old instructor gaming the 19 year old said something like “if you give me me anymore lip I’m going to get my grand kids to beat you up!” Playfully of course


  7. But yet it’s the womens who say age is just a number….


    • As with many other things, women say “age is just a number” when they are thinking of a man they are already attracted to.


  8. Good point regarding the 1 bullet point vagina tingle being more important than the 463 bullet point checklist. You see it in action in those moments when you really get in the zone and have godmode levels of confidence and outcome independence. A girl may have a boyfriend who checks off all of her requirements, height, build, job, eye color, political views, whatever. But let her have 5 minutes of alpha and she will realize that she really only has one item on the checklist and its those tingles shes feeling in her vag.

    If you choose to walk away for better options after letting her have 5 minutes of your life, look back as you walk out the door. She will be haunted by you forever and you can see it in her eyes. For the rest of her life, no other man will ever be able to compete with her memory of you.

    Its actually easier to pull off if you are in an environment like a dance club where talking is difficult or impossible. Become pure physical swagger, fearlessness, and raw sexuality and the world is yours.


  9. The alternative I preferred for OKCupid was to put my age down as 100.
    I don’t like lying, and I try to offer real value to my dates, not fake value. I wasn’t just looking to get laid (although I was), but also for a wife and mother to my children (whom I’ve found).

    On Match that didn’t work, because they are busy bodies about age in the matching thing, which I think did cause me to take 10 or 15 years off on the profile, I can’t remember exactly. And the funny thing was I would often get into email exchanges with women on Match who would write me they wouldn’t go out with me because I was too old, while at the same time I felt this woman was too old for *me*. Invariably they’d be tall, beautiful accomplished women nearing their last days of fertility, who were still single because they had too high an opinion of their value. I never figured out how to lay them, but I wasn’t really that interested. I just quit Match instead.

    In real life I never lied that I can recall, and it didn’t stop me from dating women well below half my age. Amusingly, however, my dates would lie about my age to their mothers and friends. In real life, there’s the huge advantage that they’d already seen me, and interacted with me, rather than seeing a number up front and dwelling on it.


    • On Match that didn’t work, because they are busy bodies about age in the matching thing, which I think did cause me to take 10 or 15 years off on the profile, I can’t remember exactly.

      There’s a reason it’s known as


    • natphilospher: “In real life I never lied that I can recall, and it didn’t stop me from dating women well below half my age. Amusingly, however, my dates would lie about my age to their mothers and friends.”

      Ha! Exactly. The reality is that the younger woman will catch some flak from her social circle for dating an older man. Some can handle this, others cannot. Don’t get seriously involved with those that can’t. You’re only going to be disappointed, and it’s not fair to her, either. The goal is to create positive experiences, not negative ones. Next.

      The older man, on the other hand, will also catch some flak, especially from middle-aged women, but he’ll get plenty of high-fives, too, mostly from middle-aged men. Either way, he shouldn’t care. If getting older has any advantages, not giving a damn should be near the top of the list.

      But girls, especially the younger ones, are much more vulnerable to social pressures. Frankly, that’s probably the biggest reason why a lot of older guys aren’t interested in pursuing younger women: having to deal with their moron friends. If you get serious, then sooner or later you’re going to have to deal with her world.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I wasn’t actually aware of any 20 something women I dated, whose friends or mother told them not do do it. (Haven’t dated any actual teens in decades.) Friends or mother wouldn’t know my real age, maybe that would have influenced decision. But in the event, friends and mother (only one mother was consulted to my knowledge) would always say things like: “Go for it. You only live once. You’re not going to marry him, but no reason to turn down the experience.”

        My date would be somewhat embarrassed asking, but the advice (at least the advice I heard about from girls who stuck around) was always positive.


  10. R.Don Steele covered this topic in detail in his classic “How to Date Young Women for Men Over 35, Vols I and II”.


  11. When asked about my age (by men as well as women) I always ask: what do you think?
    Shortly before my 40th birthday, i was asked by a girl in her early 20s, with another girl of the same age listening (i was not interested in either of them btw). I asked what do you think, she said about 28yo and the other girl agreed. I smirked and said: no, I am a bit older.
    Good to know that I can admit to my real age. I did so only once to a girl, and it was flattering to see that she was amazed. (We were already naked.)


  12. Reminds me of the 70 year-old wealthy guy who, when asked how he managed to win and hold on to a gorgeous 30 year-old answered ‘I lied about my age’.
    ‘I see, so you told her you were 60?’
    ‘No. Told her I was 80’


    • Pretty good. Maybe I can match that:
      an old, bald, short, frail, hunched gentleman takes a tall, blond, beautiful young lady to the bridal suite after their wedding. They both look pretty happy.
      The baggage man, in his 50s with grey hair, tactfully advises the bridegroom to go easy.
      The bridegroom replies: don’t worry, young man: if she dies, I’ll just marry another one.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I just tell them

    I am 1369 years old.

    I am a vampire.

    I prefer the femoral artery.

    Umm, what was the problem again?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I usually go for the, “Old enough to know that if you’re asking, you’re interested in more than my age.”

    If she asks a second time I say something like, “Old enough to know how to make a woman beg me to stop because she’s exhausted and needs sleep.” Then I smile, lick my lips, and go back to whatever I’m doing. (Sometimes, that is my first answer and the second is more suggestive.) That works particularly well on the younger women who think that older guys have the secret to the universe – and they are right… We do…

    Generally when a woman asks your age, she is looking for a reason to disqualify you as a lover, so don’t give it to her. Make her start thinking along the lines that you want her to think… That she’s already hooked, and wants to know more…


    • if you’re tall or have big hands you can use it as an opportunity to go sexual immediately with some impotence and tiny weiner jokes. “i’ve got all three inches working if that’s what you’re worried about,” in my experience they respond favorably, when it’s obvious you’re not likely small and if you’re having fun. plus along with deflecting, now the subject is your penis


  15. This is timely. I’m now banging a girl who is 23 but because of the way she carries herself I thought she was 26. It’s interesting for me because she’s quite earnest in some ways and crazy in others.

    We had drinks the other day and were both feeling drunk and I proposed playing the “Question Game”…”Ask me anything…make it interesting…”

    Her: “How old are you?”

    Me: “That the best you can do?”

    Her: Yah how old are you?

    Me: Is that really important to you? What do you think?

    Her: I can’t tell….

    Me: Old enough to know better and young enough not to care

    For others I just give it as “40’s…” When I give my actual age AFTER I’ve banged them..they usually don’t believe it. Their idea of a dude almost 50 is not me.

    Another thing to share is that since I’ve started banging younger girls, my own outlook has become younger—I’m more relaxed, more amused mastery, more confident—traits I would associate with a younger dude in the presence of a younger woman not an “older dude”….who I would associate with being pitifully grateful to be with a 23 year old.

    Also, going out with younger girls means generally I have to pay more. These girls either don’t have big paying jobs or can’t afford cocktails. But I’ve made up for this by chosing more down to earth restaurants and getting them to pay or split. Also, I chose cheaper activities. Girls who are into me aren’t really into money but unfortunately to go out for a drink costs money, so I just go with it.

    Finally, it’s also made me more conscious of how I dress–I dress better, cooler, more classically.

    The 23 year old told me she was totally into 50 Shades of Gray so when we got to my place I made sure I banged her rougher than ever—hair pulling, telling her how I was going to fuck her hard, throwing her on the bed, etc… Then apart from making sure she got home safe….haven’t contacted her for a couple of days.


    • on October 16, 2014 at 1:40 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

      One of my hypothesis about male midlife crisis is that it’s related to how old the wife/SO is, not how old he is. And it’s transparent that banging younger girls makes you feel younger. In 2012, I traveled out of town with various groups about ten times and this included various girls. At that time, I also had a 19 years old girlfriend. Even though I was approaching my mid 20s, I didn’t really have any concern about my own age. Now I feel sort of iffy and old because I had a few unfortunate situations come together and I allowed my health, wealth and social circles go to waste. It’s just annoying as shit to dig yourself out of holes.

      Regarding the cost, I usually ask girls to meet me in bars that are located in public parks. After the drinks, you can go beat them at minigolf, rent a boat and go to an island, have a walk, stargaze. I usually prefer using the drinks as a bait to get them out of the house and then do other things later. This saves me both money and makes nicer memories.

      And a couple of my high-school classmates told me my father is cute and he was in his early 50s back then, so I assume it’s possible to slay 18 to 25 years olds in your 50s. It’s awkward because people naturally like my father(cashiers, sales girls, people that take your tax returns, security guards etc lol), but as a teenager, while I could understand what he does, I simply couldn’t control my emotions well enough.

      I think the big problem about dating young girls is that they assume older people are actually members of another species. When I was 25, I thought people who are 30 are old not because they aged, but because they invariably turn into corporate drones and remove themselves from the group of people that have a life. I think the main thing to do is differentiate yourself from those people.


    • walawala: “But I’ve made up for this by chosing more down to earth restaurants and getting them to pay or split.”

      Ha! You’re hardcore.

      I realize that it violates a lot of people’s game rules, but I don’t mind paying. While I don’t spend extravagantly, I do think that an older guy can and should pay for more than he did when he was younger. Not to the point of being a sugar daddy, or even anything close, but still. I’m not buying the girl’s affection – I don’t spend nearly enough to do that – just recognizing the difference in our status and circumstances.

      There is a tension between falling into the beta provider trap on the one hand, versus coming across as a chintzy loser on the other. Both outcomes are bad. The path to heaven is narrow, the highway to hell is broad.

      Liked by 1 person

      • @Transpotter Interesting…This is an area where I don’t cheap out but won’t but am very conscious of going too far.

        Also, everything requires some amount of money, even taking the bus. But the girl is also conscious of this and will take a bus home.

        I’m not buying her stuff. But when we go out for cocktails, there’s no way she can afford that even at happy hour.

        But I don’t get the sense she’s with me for my money of because I pay for drinks. This is a new area for me so I’ll be monitoring it.


      • I’ve found that the best attitude is to pay all the time like it’s no big deal. It’s a casual sign that you have the bread (and I’m by no means rich). After I have paid a few times, a quality chick will start to insist that she be allowed to pay. I let her, because again, money is not a big deal. Quality women hate skinflints as much as gold-diggers do, but unlike gold-diggers they don’t want to feel like prostitutes.


    • You’re only as old as the women you sleep with.


  16. i’m clever enough to change the topic and raise the same question to the girl. then after her answer, i introduce myself as a year older than her.
    btw. i’m 23 and banging teens ranging from 15-19 🙂 sweety juices..


  17. I posted some remarks in the form of a very short, true to life story about myself on an online forum, purely as a gambit — a Chateau-inspired one — to give myself social proof. All of it was fictional, but nicely written I thought, just enough to get someone’s hamster started running.

    That was the theory.

    I had pretty much decided it was a failure. But four days later, I get a really nice email from a woman, 22 years younger than me, very local, putting herself forward to meet me.

    Now, she gave me her stats and the chance to reciprocate with my details with her “so, how about you?”

    I think I could play the age question more playfully in person, but I’m not at that point having never met her.

    And fibbing on an online profile is one thing, but lying directly to her isn’t something I really want to do. Then again, brushing off the question or playing around it and ignoring the pertinent fact of age is almost like an admission of guilt. And seems coy and unbecoming. But stating my age point blank would be putting an anti-hamster land mine under her feet, maybe.

    Any ideas? Ignore it completely? State it boldly?

    I’ve delayed replying to her second email that gave her stats. Not sure if this will increase the hamster spinning some more or put it to sleep.

    (she has enough context in my piece of fiction to be cognizant of a 13 year age gap — so she isn’t completely fazed by the idea of age of difference.)


    • Maybe turn it into a game? Something like: I’ll tell you the first rock band I saw in concert and you guess the year. Or: Here’s a hint: I was wearing skin tight jeans with a green comb in my back pocket when I first kissed a girl.


  18. on October 16, 2014 at 1:16 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

    I was shopping for a new cologne and found this make-up thing that gets rid of puffy eyes by basically starching her skin. Whenever I think I reached the limits of the ways women lie, I end up finding one of these things. So don’t feel sorry about lying to her – it’s not like her tinder pics aren’t some of her better pics and the like. This is like lying in job interviews: in the end, they are lying to you, so don’t feel any guilt in completely fabricating your CV if it suits your needs at that moment.


  19. […] Pulled from a sexxxy players’ forum, here’s some advice for older (or younger) men who want to know how to handle large age differences, particularly as the issue applies to online dating, where inclusion of age in the profile is required.  […]


  20. This is the kind of post that seriously damages the cr5edibility of the entire blog, at least for those of us who live in reality.
    Everyone looks 10 years younger and bangs 19-year old swimsuit models.
    Curiously, none of these keyboard jockey internet fantasies are ever visible in real life.
    How can men ‘dodge the age question’?
    Easy: Be George Clooney.

    [CH: i know at least ten couples where the man is 10+ years older than his lover. oh, and marriages skew older man-younger woman. just thought you’d like to know.]


    • Give it a rest Wolfie. i am 47, chicks in their early 20’s dig me. as do chicks in the late 20, 30’s 40′ and 50’s… You just need to by dynamic, passionate and authentic. Age only matters to her friends and her Mom. Not her.

      Married her when she was 16 and he was 51


      • That pic does nothing for your credibility. Granted, she’s much more attractive, clean and healthy looking than most prostitutes/strippers, so props for that, but just out of curiosity: How much did you have to pay the escort to sit there for 5 seconds?
        Or is this some celeb/money dude with a Ukrainian?


      • wolfie wolfie wolfie… reality is my credibility. Older guys can absolutely slay hot younger girls. The secret is no secret, it’s the same for younger guys… be a high value guy. My 50 YO neighbor (Dr.) is married to an NFL cheerleader. My 58 YO buddy married a woman 20 years younger than him, when he was 48… I could go on and on and on…

        Women seek protection and resources, older guys are naturally in a position to provide both in abundance, the deck is stacked in your favor. what fucks it up for dudes though is they are so blue pill they can’t and won’t capitalize it and end up in provider mode instead of lover mode. But the girl has already chosen to fuck you either way, it’s how you play it that determines how. women love dynamic, passionate and authentic men…


      • @wolfie

        they are an actual couple. courtney stodden and doug huthinson. she was an aspiring actress when she took one of his classes as a teen.

        they got divorced a couple of years after they got married because she was having problems with the age difference supposedly but they have since reconciled.


      • @ blart

        “they got divorced a couple of years after they got married because she was having problems with the age difference supposedly but they have since reconciled.”

        maybe the reconciliation will stick but who knows. he seems like an upstanding dude but she’s a gold digger attention whore. she was raised by a single mom and had three sisters. her mom was or is her “manager” and did the whole kris jenner thing letting her dress slutty when she was really young and putting her in pageants and crap.

        hopefully the guy will just kick the bucket before she decides she needs “space” to go find herself…again.


    • @Wolfie – interesting you think this hurts the credibility of the blog – when it’s actually the other way around.

      I’m 50 – and the last 5 girls I’ve dated are 21, 23, 23, 24 and back to 23. I live in a college town and find it quite easy to date younger women looking for their “older man” experience.

      Very much not George Clooney – however, I’m in far better shape than most of my peers and dress well. I’ve become “that man” they want to contrast with their video game playin’, lite beer swillin’ peers. I’m confident, order for them, have worldly experiences and am not afraid to be a man.

      I’ve commented here many a time about how the girls “perceive” me – the figure skater, for example, told me I was 35 in her mind – even tho she knew exactly how old I was.

      I wear my age with pride and never hide it.

      Are the girls I date swimsuit models? One certainly could have been….and the rest were all size 6 or smaller – I don’t date girls who are larger.

      Feel free to think we’re all full of shit – that’s your prerogative. Or you can hear our experiences and perhaps see something you can use for yourself as you get older – and perhaps more mature.


    • on October 17, 2014 at 2:21 pm The Spirit Within

      Wolfie, one of the girls who just fell out of my rotation was 16 years younger than me. Any more than that, and she’d have been illegal. Other relationships have much larger gaps.

      Yes, older men can slay younger, but you have to be either 1) of high social value or 2) very good looking or 3) have incredible game. And you can’t care about the tut-tutting from women who’ve aged out of the game.


      • i know an LTR where the guy is twenty-five years older. he’s not particularly good-looking, nor high social value OUTSIDE HIS CONTEXT. inside it, he is. and that’s where he met his girl. i was told they have been together ten years. he does have a calm, self-assured demeanor, aka you can tell he doesn’t give two fucks what people think of their love.


  21. I assume that you are talking about the comments rather than the actual post. If so you have to keep in mind that men who look younger are much more likely to comment to this post. (Also, to read this blog.)

    Looking 10y younger is easy: I looked at least 10y younger (in the opinion of men as well as women) even before cutting down on the carbs. What you have to do is keep your face away from the 3 S:
    direct sunshine.


    • Sorry, that was meant to be a reply to Wolfie.


    • Smoke and direct sunshine I understand, but shaving? Does shaving prematurely age skin? Never heard that before.


      • I don’t remember where I read it but it seems to work for me. Unfortunately I don’t have an identical twin for a control experiment.
        Think about it this way: if you shave, then in 10 years you are scraping the skin of your face with a razor 3652.5 times. That doesn’t sound promising, does it?
        I use a trimmer 2 times/week.


      • Interesting point, Aspie. I can see how a trimmer might be a decent option. For quite a few years I had a neatly trimmed beard, so I almost never shaved. Now that I’ve gone clean shaven, it’s something to consider.

        I hate to sound like a chick by giving the following sort of advice, but hey, nobody gave it to me as I was coming up, and I would have appreciated it if they had, so…

        If someone does shave, they should get a good shaving cream. Buying the cheap stuff is not a great place to save a few extra pennies. That goes for soap, too, or anything else that you put on your body every day. Spending a little extra on just a handful of items can pay off big in the long run. Do your research, and figure out what is good for your skin type.

        And for you young guys out there, trust me, the “long run” doesn’t take as long to get there as you think. You’re 25? You’ll be 40 before you know it. Being middle-aged is a great time of life if you’re healthy and fit, but really sucks if you are not. A friend put it this way: if you are in great shape, 40 is like being 30. If not, you might as well be 60. I’ve found that to be largely true.

        Gather the low hanging fruit now, not ten or twenty years from now when the damage is already done. That goes for exercise and the food you eat as well, obviously. There are so many easy changes that you can make today which will serve you well for the rest of your life. Living perfectly is hard, but just living pretty well is easy. There is no excuse not to. A good general rule is: anything that you do every day or nearly every day, you need to think very carefully about.


      • Thanks Trainspotter, your comment is spot on. Coming to think of it, the less abuse you impose on your face & body, the more years you take off your apparent age.
        Of course, if everybody followed best practices, then you’d look average; but many men feel they cannot show up at work without shaving first, and I don’t see many men with wide brimmed hats, not even at the beach where they are most needed.
        I myself started using a trimmer because I have delicate skin and a beard like a wire brush. Now that I am thin on top, i take the guard off the trimmer and quasi-shave the sides & back of the head as well as the beard, after wetting with warm water. Then I put the guard back on and trim a bit on top: I still have something up there.


      • “the less abuse you impose on your face & body, the more years you take off your apparent age”
        My bad, what I meant was: if you follow best practice, then the older you get, the greater the gap between apparent age and real age.


    • I agree with Aspie Nerd here. Naturally those who look younger will be the ones more interested in writing about how old they look.


  22. I am 44, divorced, with two kids. For the past three years I’ve been dating a hot chick 18 years younger than me. During a recent break-up that lasted about a month, I tried online dating for the first time ever. I decided to be completely honest in my profile just to see what would happen (I live in Hungary, so you wouldn’t know the service, but it’s the most popular here).

    Most younger chicks (say, tens years younger than you) will filter you out because of your age. Nearly all (I’m not categorical simply because I wasn’t trying that long) younger chicks will avoid you like the plague if you have kids. However, women in your age group (some of whom are still pretty hot and in good shape) with kids will favor you because they think that only men in your position will be sympathetic to their limited schedules. None of this is publishable as groundbreaking research, but it’s clear to me that you’re not going to bed a string of 23 year olds through online dating if you’re middle aged. On the other hand, there are quality women out there over the age of 35 that can be had if you’re looking for an LTR.

    I’m back with my 26 year old gf and happy as ever. What the experience taught me is that if it doesn’t work out I can always round up a harem of bangable 35+ year olds through online dating for as long as I can get it up. Younger than 35 I would either have to lie online, or hunt in the real world.

    The funniest thing to happen was I wrote to one chick by saying “I’m shorter than what you listed you’re looking for. Write to me if that’s cool.” She wrote back “I don’t mind your height, but I don’t date Geminis.”


    • I’ve used my real age (37) on the dating sites I use here in Bulgaria (moved here a year and a half ago) and I very rarely get replies from women under 30 (had a few dates from online with mid 20s girls, they were also the easiest to get into bed).

      No one ever comments on – and rarely even asks about – my age when I meet women in bars, clubs etc. (guesses from semi-tipsy women when it’s occasionally come up, range from 30-35, I’m in good shape but I still marvel at all those people who claim that they can pass for 10, sometimes 15 years younger – must be using some amazing face skin creme, or believing joke guesses from women), and I don’t feel it’s at all a hindrance there to meet women 10+ years younger.

      Online however you don’t have your charm and wit to rely on up front, so the younger women will often just filter you out right away (I would imagine 35 would be a typical arbitrary cut off age for many of them, possibly lower for some), unless perhaps if you’re gifted with well above average looks and with a profile photo to immediately establish that.

      I’m not getting quite what I want from online gaming anyway (getting started on daygaming, plus still occasional night game), so not a big deal. But if I ever (re)join another dating site I’m definitely going to shave a good five years off my age.


  23. on October 17, 2014 at 8:29 am having a bad day

    girl: how old are you?

    me: “well, my adopted age is 69…because [intense eye contact, smirk] that’s my favorite number…[waggle eyebrows]”…lol…and watch her blush…lol…


    • LOl that’s awesome…


    • Had a girl ask me my age….”50″ I replied. She looked at me and said “You’re like 25 years older than me!” I answered “Hey – you’re good at math. Here’s a tough one for you…..what’s 50 + 19?” She went blank and then said “69” and then realized what she said and started giggling.


  24. In many respects, the bigger the age gap, the less the “issue” of age – I’m 50 – and while I’m happy to date 23 yos and they me, it’s really clear that we’re not going to get married – so all that potential nonsense about “relationships” simply isn’t there – no need to worry about “where is this going” or any of that crap.


  25. There seems to be a confusion of two issues in this thread. Allow me to straighten this out. Looking much younger than your real age does not imply being able to pull much younger girls, and vice versa.

    Take me, for example: I’ve had male friends look at me in disbelief when I told them that I am more than 10y older than them, when they thought I was younger; and yet I have trouble with young ladies (that’s why I read this blog, every now and then.)

    Otoh I met a professor who married a lady about 30y younger. He looked his age, she looked pretty fit for her age. He was pretty rich; but then, so was she.

    My own father married my mother who is 15 years younger, and richer than him, and my father looked older at the time than I look now, judging by his pics; but that was more like an arranged marriage so it doesn’t count.


    • Us aspies naturally look young, often way younger than our apparent ages. I bought alcohol at a new liquor store a while back – I’m 32 – when I showed the clerk my ID, he was almost certain it was a fake and asked if this was a set up.

      When I met some coworkers I had only worked remotely with, they were all astonished. One mentioned that she thought I was someone’s teenaged kid they brought along before she knew who I was.

      I’d be interested to know the evopsych reason for this, if there is one.


  26. @Aspie Nerd

    2 things:

    1) I probably have aspergers syndrome. I have noticed that many people with aspergers like characteristics often times seem (socially, physically, mentally) 5-10 years younger than they are. I grew ~5 inches when I was 22-24 years old. My adult molar came in when I was 25 and I started growing the majority of my facial hair shortly after. When I go on cam sites (like omegle) most people guess my age between 19-23. People generally don’t believe I am 29. I honestly feel like I got screwed out of a lot in life because we live in a culture that no longer values late maturation or intelligence.

    2) I stopped shaving my face about 1 year ago. I also use a trimmer. I don’t have any real study to back it up, but to me it seems like common sense that anything that damages your skin will make it look older. Also I feel kind of gay shaving anyways.


  27. […] How Men Can Dodge The Age Question […]


  28. “Finally Batman and Robin stood up, and Batman said, “I am a happily married father, because unlike all you losososoersz, I have game.” lzolzlozlzo”

    I used to say that once upon a time.


  29. “they are so blue pill they can’t and won’t capitalize it and end up in provider mode instead of lover mode”/I”

    I used to think that also.


  30. I mean I used to be THAT guy. “provider mode” guy


  31. @bovekof; that’s just the clerk being a jerk. I get that, and I have one of those “Most Interesting Man In The World” beards going on (for now).
    I just tell them son, I ran out of moonshine and damn well need a drink, okay.


  32. Lying is really insecure. It’s terminal. I’m 62. I’ve had more attention from 27 to 35 year olds since I was 50 than I ever had from women of any age when I was first single. The age gap at the moment is 25 years and the relationship is 5 years old. She was hot 5 years ago! Younger women look at her as if she has won the lottery. 40 something women look at me as if to kill (but would snort in disdain if I approached them cold).