Hotter Women, Better Sex

There are a lot of false impressions circulating about the motivation behind men’s Darwinian struggle to fuck the most beautiful women.  Of course, the cultural explanation is gibberish so I won’t bother to address that here.  What interests me is the oft-repeated claim, mostly by women but also by some men with beta issues, that the primary drive for men’s unstoppable lust to score only the hottest girls is to boost their ego by being seen in public with arm candy.

This is not true.  The essential motivation for scoring the best-looking women is the visceral pleasure signals it sends to the reward centers of the male brain.  To gaze on a beautiful woman’s face, admire the curves of her body, and make love with her all night long is its own reward.  The little bit of ego-massaging that comes from walking into a crowded room and showing off the hot girl in your company pales in comparison to the ecstasy of privately kissing her lips in a quiet room with the blinds drawn.

I suspect the people who think that men chase hot girls the most feverishly so as to lord it over other men have an agenda.  They want to believe that human nature is not immutable; that with the right amount of peer pressure and fist-shaking at the media juggernaut men’s desires can be altered — tamed — to accommodate their conceit.  And pride is malleable where thermonuclear blasts of lust are not.

If, on the other hand, men pursue the best-looking women at the behest of hidden compulsions buried deep in the reptilian cores of their brains, then there is nothing can be done to change this fact of manhood and what it means for less attractive girls.

How your body responds to a woman during sex tells the tale.  The hotter I find the girl, the better the sex is, all else being equal.  Since men remember sex acts with crystal clear clarity, it’s easy for me to recall the exact specifications of my sexual encounters with each woman in my life.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but my jizzbombs were heavier and the distance ejected farther with the prettier girls.  Since this is something I cannot consciously control, it is proof of the innate characteristics of the male sex drive.

In the interest of science, I’ve put my beauty-to-cumload comparison in a handy chart:

hotness of woman               size of load               squirt distance
0                                            *                                *
1                                            *                                *
2                                            *                                *
3                                            pre-cum only           had to be squeezed out
4                                            droplet                      dribble
5                                            <5 grams                  2 cm
6                                            fills bellybutton        3 inches
7                                            1 tbsp                         8 inches
8                                            2 tbsps                       1.5 feet
9                                            1/4 cup                       3 feet
10                                          gallon**                      5 yards**

*insufficient data
**extrapolation                  





Comments


  1. El – Oh – El

    This might actually be true, since going further may somehow slightly increase your chance of passing on good genes.

    Perhaps, this explains why high value men have trouble sleeping with ugly women.

    They know that even if they do, it won’t result in offspring.

    Chicken or the egg? (bad analogy, the egg obviously came first)

    Like


  2. A better measurement is penile hardness.

    Liked by 2 people


  3. just curious…but..how would your study account for really hot chix that are flat fucks??
    xoxo

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  4. Love the matrix! Can we get that in a powerpoint?

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  5. mwha ha ha ha ha ha,

    damn son, this is up there with the sperm war post, I think we’re in a battle here over loads.

    I can’t believe you made a chart, damn it, well played kid

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  6. this chart works only works for averages. guaranteed that if you’re a 10 male (aka a clooney), scoring 10 females regularly, you’re not going to be hitting 5 yards. law of diminishing returns.

    Liked by 1 person


  7. Women who are universally considered 10’s but don’t appeal to me:

    Angelina Jolie (looks dirty)
    Pamela Anderson (looks like a plastic reconstruction patient)
    Jessica Simpson (man-musculature)

    Liked by 1 person


  8. I think you put too fine a point on it.

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  9. Hydration levels and when the last time you “cleared the tubes” are also important factors.

    Also, taking NO2 supplements will increase your ability to produce frequent and productive loads.

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  10. sblonde – the bad lay is a mitigating factor. the 9 who just lays there bored is equivalent to the 7 who sports knee high heartbreaker boots and fishnet stockings and sucks the soul out my schlong. but i digress…

    mm – i recognize the “eww” of love any day.

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  11. This post is a little too explicit for me, but I’m going to comment anyway because I’m one of those women who believes that men do often choose beautiful women for the sake of their egos rather than for sexual satisfaction. I’ve certainly known men who complained to me that the beautiful women they were sleeping with were not very satisfying sexual partners.

    Leaving out the the question of whether this was a (tactless) form of flattery, or a come-on, it’s possible that such men are less driven by purely aesthetic considerations than you. They prefer a woman they find “sexy” – and if that means someone with big breasts and a merely nice face, who is sexually “wild” (whatever that means), so be it. Or perhaps you invest so much of your ego in being with beautiful women that you can take no sexual satisfaction in being with a plainer one.

    If I’m wrong, why would there be a subculture of men (it may be small) who are aroused by fat women but don’t want to be seen in public with them?

    Of course, there’s always the chance that the man who abandons a woman who is generally perceived as beautiful, for one who seems plain by other standards, actually does think the latter is more beautiful, which would support your argument, if in a rather paradoxical way. You have written that you think Rachel Weisz is a great beauty; I agree, but I’ve known men who would find her dark hair, heavy brows, and relatively big features unappealing, and would turn her down for a Grace Kelly type.

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  12. Meanwhile, the rest of us betas out there are just glad to get what we can. Our satisfaction comes from knowing our sperms are being collected in a warm wet vagina and not in a towel, underwear, or toilet bowl.

    Then again, some of us dweebs have different definitions of “hot”. I myself prefer a look I call “dorky cute”, a prime illustration of which is Kristen Vangsness, who plays Penelope Garcia the data base guru on CBS’ “Criminal Minds.”

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  13. man, you guys are depressing

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  14. yes, why else do we imagine other girls during sex? best tactic is to lie flat enough over her (lazily, resting on your forearms), and put your head to the right of hers, into the pillow so you don’t have to look at her face. I usually imagine the hottest girl I’ve ever been with.

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  15. It’s interesting to note that when I use the same approach to explaining why I choose not to date and prefer masturbation, the theory is promptly belittled by those on the internet and male friends in the real world. In contrast, when he does it, he’s held up as a paragon of enlightenment.

    Angelina Jolie (looks dirty)
    Pamela Anderson (looks like a plastic reconstruction patient)

    Angelina Jolie has a skanky and trashy look even when she’s trying to look glamoruous, but I’d still fuck her because she looks sexier than the average woman on the street. As for Pam Anderson, who cares that she looks like a plastic reconstruction patient. She still has a look that screams “fuck me”, and it was a sad day when she got her breast reduction. We need more women to look like Angelina Jolie or Pam Anderson, IMHO.

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  16. on August 31, 2007 at 8:53 am Days of Broken Arrows

    You definitely have a point regarding the fist-shaking types trying to dictate what men should find sexy (esp. when all the while they usually have a thousand point checklist for the men in their own lives).

    However, I have to concur with “alias clio” on this: Some of us find different types of women attractive. Rachel Weisz is an excellent example. Back in high school, the hot blonde cheerleader I dated did not do for me what your charts said she should do. But the nerdy Jewish girl, with the somewhat big nose and no makeup…well, I still dream of her.

    There’s no accounting for taste, and before you judge who a guy walks in a room with, keep in mind that may just be his thing. To some, the library or Synogague is the Playboy Club.

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  17. David, yes and no. Angelina and Pamela are in a whole different orbit and I suppose that they have a strong charm and sexiness that doesn’t come across through mass media. Still, they are skanks and even though they are on the high end of skankhood, that’s a type I am slightly repelled by, particularly if tats, wierd piercings or enhancements are part of the package.

    I like the petite, dark haired, blue or green eyed girl form a good home type.

    Another one I forgot to add to my earlier list: Halle Berry
    She’s not a skank, and she was allright in Swordfish …. but when I saw her in Die Another Day, I thought to myself… “007 still likes women , no?’

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  18. “the 9 who just lays there bored is equivalent to the 7 who sports knee high heartbreaker boots and fishnet stockings and sucks the soul out my schlong.”

    Okay, so tell me if I’m right, you’re saying that it is preferable to date the hottest girls not because of the jealousy their looks generates in others when they see you with them, but because of how their looks make you come really hard, apparently regardless of their skill, interest or enthusiasm in bed.

    That’s your right, but the whole concept is still as shallow as I ever thought it was.

    Doesn’t it get taxing doing all the work, or is that part of the hotness? I can just imagine, you see last week’s nine out with someone else and think damn, tonight she’s going to be layed out like a dead pidgeon at the taxidermist under someone else tonight.

    On the other hand, this just goes to show that giving as good as you get you can never go wrong….your chart makes me smile. Guys who come copious amounts are hot.

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  19. Peter North is hot?

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  20. I agree with this post. I feel my efforts and enthusiasm are greater with a 9 or 10 than with a 6. However, a woman’s enthusiasm and orgasm goes a long way to enjoying the moment, which brings me to some theories on the matter. According to some studies women may have evolved the orgasm as a method for further mate selection. Climax increases uptake of semen and there is a higher likelihood of orgasm during ovulation but theories on why many women cannot orgasm suggest that women are further weeding out mates. I would venture to guess that there may even be some correlation with rates of cuckholdery but I digress. I’ve also come across studies that indicate women are also more likely to orgasm with athletic/healthy men. I believe the study used measurements of the man’s chest to waist ratio. Men with the classic v-shape, small waist and broad shoulders, had mates that experienced higher rates of orgasm. What can we conclude from all this? Attractive high-value males and their high value female mates are having earth shattering sex….and everyone else isn’t. You might as well kill yourself now if you’re not an attractive high value male or high value female.

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  21. The thing this post doesn’t get is that the ego victory *does* make the sex hotter. There’s no contradiction between the explanations, they’re mutually reinforcing. The ego battle isn’t lording it over other men in public, it’s inside your own head in private. “I’m fucking a spectacularly beautiful girl right now, so I rock” is a big turn on.

    With that said, yes, beauty alone has an independent effect on pleasure — youth and beauty, I should say. There is something about a fit girl under 25 that’s extraordinary. That combination of firmness and softness just doesn’t get replicated at other ages. But it’s just not the only factor. Perhaps the hottest time I ever had was with a 34 year old who was probably a 5-6 (reasonably attractive, but maybe 15 pounds overweight). She was a complete freak. Amazing in bed.

    Then, of course, there’s love.

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  22. On a shallow level, I feel the same way about hot guys. But I’ve noticed there’s always this progression. First you’re awed by how great he looks. Then you get so used to the way he looks that you don’t even notice anymore (But you start to notice other guys.) THEN you start to pick up on the little flaws… Pretty soon that’s all you see. If you don’t have reason to keep him around, you’d almost rather eat carpet lint than have to talk to him at that point.

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  23. Still, they are skanks and even though they are on the high end of skankhood, that’s a type I am slightly repelled by, particularly if tats, wierd piercings or enhancements are part of the package.

    I’ll admit that I don’t find natural beauty sexually attractive. I like the skanky porn star look with the piercings, tattoos, bottle blond hair, fake tans, nails, makeup, and body enhancement.

    But the girl you describes is cute, but just doesn’t register for me sexually. She’s too cute to be sexual.

    Some of us find different types of women attractive.

    Oddly, in addition to the type of women above, I also find chubby white women rather attractive. I think it’s primarily an emotional issue and because these women can easily have softer skin, larger asses, and breasts than their skinnier counterparts.

    I feel my efforts and enthusiasm are greater with a 9 or 10 than with a 6

    Again, another reason as to why I’ve prefer to have sex with hot women. You’re always willing to put more effort into having sex with her because you feel that she’s more valuable, and thus, you must do more because your chances with another girl like her in the future are low, and you need to impress her to keep her.

    You might as well kill yourself now if you’re not an attractive high value male or high value female.

    Or maybe we can just build sex robots to avoid the entire mess of complaining about missing out on hot people sex. Even for me, porn wins out over sex with non-hot women. Porn has women who are hot to me, and most real life women just aren’t willing to turn themselves into porn stars for my pleasure.

    According to some studies women may have evolved the orgasm as a method for further mate selection.

    If a woman fakes an orgasm, your best course of action is stop having sex, and either leave her or force her out of your dwelling. It makes no sense to waste your energy on a girl who’s faking an orgasm.

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  24. Ugly sex can be hot. You put so little of yourself on the line, you can just relax and go for it. And besides, it’s not that hard to put your eyes out of focus and dream.

    And a hot tight wet pussy feels good no matter how the rest of the package looks.

    The hotness of my sex partner has no effect at all on how much I cum; but it does affect how many times I can cum (and how many times I want to). I simply don’t believe the posters who think that the hotness of the partner has any effect at all on volume or distance. It just makes the refractory period shorter and the rebound all that much more, well, boundy.

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  25. The chart: hysterical…and true!

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  26. Refractory period gets my vote as the best way to judge! Thank you Patrick.

    Distance is second.

    I’d also agree with penile hardess but there can be 2 factors in today’s society: medications and fitness/obesity. Both have a huge effect on a man’s erection. With a fit, unmedicated man though it’s a very good indicator.

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  27. Dizzy8 – so you “shoot” it further with a hot guy? I thought you only dated ugly guys who ended up treating you bad (if this is Dizzy from the Midwest).

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  28. I only dated ugly guys when I was in the Midwest, where that’s pretty much all you get. It wasn’t a great experience. The whole nice-guy-with-substance-and-a-bit-of-a-gut is a myth. If he’s lazy enough to get the gut, he has other problems. And I loved the way these ugly guys were always ripping on other women’s appearance… They were mean as hell, and every last one felt ENTITLED to a 10. Like dating a hot chick was something they’d inadvertently left out of the Bill of Rights. I also never understood why the concept of a whitening strip or tweezers or even buying more than one pair of shoes, always seemed so beyond the ken of those judgmental fucks.

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  29. alias clio:
    I’ve certainly known men who complained to me that the beautiful women they were sleeping with were not very satisfying sexual partners.

    and yet these were the women they chose to sleep with.

    it’s possible that such men are less driven by purely aesthetic considerations than you.

    i’ll grant the possibility that i may be even more visually oriented than the average guy, but science is strictly coming down on the side of what our lying eyes see — that men, when given a free choice, overwhelmingly prefer hotness to any other factor a woman brings to the table.
    and that female hotness (as well as male handsomeness) is surprisingly objectively measurable.

    Or perhaps you invest so much of your ego in being with beautiful women that you can take no sexual satisfaction in being with a plainer one.

    the ego has very little to do with what turns men on sexually. that would be the job of the id.
    or:
    the boner doesn’t lie.

    If I’m wrong, why would there be a subculture of men (it may be small) who are aroused by fat women but don’t want to be seen in public with them?

    i’ve run the nubmers on this, which i may put in a future post. in summary, the subculture of fatty fuckers is exceedingly small, so it’s no use drawing generalizations about what men like from those few outliers.
    after all, there are men who like to fuck corpses as well.

    You have written that you think Rachel Weisz is a great beauty; I agree, but I’ve known men who would find her dark hair, heavy brows, and relatively big features unappealing,

    i doubt the vast majority of men would toss rachel weisz out of bed for eating crackers. remember that guys are very good at nitpicking a hot woman’s flaws when there is no chance of them ever fucking her.
    there must be a term for this fallacy of assuming all beauty is subjective because some guys prefer beautiful girl X to beautiful girl Y. hmm…. i shall name it the Dime Piece Distortion Effect.

    dizzy:
    They were mean as hell, and every last one felt ENTITLED to a 10.

    for a man, feeling as if he is entitled to a 10 is actually the best attitude he could have for success with women. irrational overconfidence beats defeatism any day.

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  30. I never said all beauty is subjective, and I don’t believe it, either. You were the one who said sexual satisfaction is directly co-relative to a woman’s beauty “rank”.

    I was trying to say that where a man is lucky enough to have a choice between two objectively attractive women, he’ll sometimes choose the one who is less objectively beautiful but more beautiful, for some reason, to him.

    Maybe the more beautiful one is brunette and he prefers blondes. Maybe the more beautiful one is willowy (read, more flat-chested) and he wants generous curves. Maybe he’s already slept with the more beautiful one and thought she was boring in bed; while the less beautiful one is an unknown quantity and has the reputation of being hot stuff. And if you’ll allow any consideration of women’s personalities – maybe the more beautiful one is a loud, foul-mouthed harpy and the objectively less beautiful one is soft-voiced and feminine.

    I noticed this kind of thing all the time in college dorms where most of us were young and good-looking. The most popular girl I knew in res. was decidedly plump (not Monica Lewinsky plump, but America Ferrara of Ugly Betty plump), and had a pretty girl-next-door face but not a memorable one. There were lots of prettier girls – but it was A. that the boys pursued – I suspected because she was feminine to her fingertips, never swore, and had a beautiful speaking voice. And they really pursued her (though she wasn’t “easy”): a girl who took over her bedroom the next year said that in her first two weeks there about 30 guys came by looking for A.

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  31. on August 1, 2008 at 2:08 pm Patrick Bateman

    I’ve noticed the same trend. I also nut more with a new girl. My first nut with a new girl is huge and could take out an eye with its force, the 2nd nut is significantly smaller and by the twelfth nut I’ve reached equilibrium nuttage.

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  32. I think you’ve done yourself a small injustice with this post. There are layered levels of complexity when dealing with why we actually prefer hotter women. They don’t just make us feel good, and turn our brain to mush. Their looks indicate evolutionary value. Immune systems, symmetry, how their dna interacts with the environment (acne, etc). Then we can layer ontop of that societies input, etc.

    Your absolutely right, and where the fuck is Richard Dawkins when you need him!

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  33. Dude, I’ve read a lot of your entries and similar blogs but this has just blown my fucking mind. Fuck what everyone else says now. I’m going to unapologetically go for the hottest babes period.

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  34. Sad face… I’m a woman, who grew up with jocks, this is probably true. It would explain the basal internal hatred a lot of women have towards Megan Fox (God bless her for honesty!).
    – Original Grace.

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  35. wait, it’s not just how beautiful she is, but also how kinky she is. dan savage wrote some about how beautiful people are not as good in bed — not as enthusiastic, not as giving, not as kinky.

    i think there is some truth to this theory. of course, the ideal is a girl who is gorgeous and really kinky in bed. but think about it, would you rather fuck a hot girl who was a cold in bed and did not know how to kiss, or a pretty girl who was wild and slutty and who loved to swallow come.

    maybe there is a mathematical formula. but i think a really kinky girl is at least a +1 to her hotness rating.

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