Study: The Neg Works

Valued commenter chris alerts the CH readership to ♥another study♥ vindicating a game technique, this time the notorious, and notoriously misunderstood, seduction tactic known as the neg.

First, before we begin, a note about negs (aka “negative hits”):

Negs are NOT insults. Negs are backhanded compliments. The purpose of a neg is to subtly ding a cute girl’s self-esteem so that she becomes more romantically receptive to your advances. The field-tested effectiveness of the neg rests on the premise, accurate by all accounts, that hotter girls have higher self-esteems than uglier girls. For this reason, it’s well known among players that the best negs should be reserved for prettier girls. Less attractive girls don’t even need negs, unless the man hitting on them is of equal or lower SMV.

A neg is only successful if the feeling of confusion and self-doubt it creates is sufficiently disavowable by the speaker. That is, a good neg should, as the author of the article linking the relevant study wrote, “leave the speaker blameless”. Straight up insults don’t leave the speaker of the insult blameless for any temporary bad feelings it causes in the listener. But negs do. A proper neg is like a clue to hidden treasure that the girl is meant to discover on her own; except in this context the treasure she’s meant to find is her own slightly deflated ego.

If you insult a girl, she’ll turn on you. If you neg a girl, she’ll turn on herself. Any questions?

So once again SCIENCE has come around to confirming the efficacy of well-known game tactics for scoring poon.

Walster (1965) investigated the influence of momentary self-esteem on receptivity to the romantic advances of a stranger. The researcher arranged for a group of female participants to interact with a male research assistant who flirted with them. The female participants were then given positive or negative personality test feedback. After their self-esteem was increased or decreased in that way, they were asked to rate their liking for the male research assistant.

The results of the study indicated that women who had their self-esteem temporarily lowered found the male research assistant significantly more attractive than the women with temporary high-self esteem. Walster (1965) theorized that this effect occurred for two reasons. First, individuals who feel “imperfect” themselves may demand less in a partner. Second, a person usually has an increased need for acceptance and affection when their self-esteem is low. Overall then, when an individual is made to feel “low”, they find potential romantic partners more attractive.

*boom* And the mic gets dropped… on a dumb feminist’s and game denialist’s pointy heads.

You can argue about the ethics of game till the cows come home, but what you can’t argue is that game doesn’t work. It does, and though the tactics may strike one as manipulative and even mercenary, they exist in their form only because the sexual nature of women is what it is. If women responded sexually to effusive praise and sincere compliments that raised their self-esteems, men would be spitting lines like “You are very beautiful and so very very smart. You will be the first female President of the United States, I can tell. May I touch your wizard sleeve?”, until they were practically supine and begging women to walk on them.

But of course no men besides suck-up orbiter beta males playing the looooong game spits those kinds of lines. If a man of sound mind did that, it wouldn’t take him more than three minutes to figure out it was getting him nowhere with women.

The article includes a section on wifely nagging, which the author attempts to equate to negging. The comparison is a stretch; women become aroused and curious when they are negged, which is very different than what men feel when they are nagged. (Hint: Negged women want to interact more with their alluring tormentors; nagged men want to get the hell away from their annoying termagants.) Plus, wives don’t nag with the goal of getting sexual favors from their husbands. They nag because they’re feeling unsupported or frustrated or menstrual. Men, in stark contrast, neg with the specific goal of inflaming a romantic tryst.





Comments


  1. How different is “negging” from “teasing” anyway?

    [CH: For all practical purposes, the same. But most men lose those playground skills and never regain them when they’re most needed.]

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    • Negs are said with a straight face, like you are totally unaware that what you are saying might nip at her ego.

      Teases can be delivered deadpan too, but more often they’re delivered with a grin or other body language tell so she knows you’re joking. If it’s playful or comes with any hint of “I don’t really mean it”, it’s not a neg.

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  2. Negs are NOT insults. Negs are backhanded compliments.
    ————————————————————————————————-

    So all the “black women are unattractive” trollery really means white guys wanna split some dark oak?

    Interesting.

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  3. on September 12, 2013 at 8:19 am Eisenheim Mindcrusher

    Another beacon of truth strikes again the face of the lord of lies.

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    • I was in Lowes yesterday, in the electrical department, and this crazy Jap chick comes sauntering down the aisle, and she’s dressed up as what must pass for “Goth” in Tokyo these days, and she’s got this bizarre eyelash-liner face-paint [maybe it was a tattoo?] which curls up the sides of her temples and makes her look like Batwoman, and she’s dressed up in rhinestone-studded clothes which look like they just came off the set of a 1980s John Hughes teen flick.

      But her face is all gaunt and drawn and haggard, as though she’s in the generic 45 to 55 age range.

      And for the life of me, I couldn’t think of a word to say to her.

      I mean, she was obviously DTF, and she would have gladly spread wide for a tall dark and handsome white boy like yours truly, but my God, the Spirit just didn’t [or couldn’t] move me to rise to the occasion.

      I mean, how do you say, “Heroin Chic” in Jap?

      I couldn’t even think of anything funny or kind-hearted or good-natured to jostle her about.

      I dunno, maybe I should have just blurted out something about octopus porn, or whatever the hell it is that they’re obsessed with in Nipland these days.

      But I didn’t even want to.

      Moral of the Story: Ladies, if you want some of that tall dark and handsome white boy action in your lives, then maybe you ought to tone it down just a notch on the grotesquely overt nilihism.

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      • why would you want to game a menopausal japanese goth lady?

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      • Well I didn’t want to game her.

        But she wanted it so desperately and so obviously that I felt kinda bad for her when I didn’t game her.

        Also, she might not have been middle-aged; maybe she was just emerging from her Lindsay Lohan phase and she’s in rehab and she’s preternaturally haggard from all the booze and the drugs in her childhood but now she’s going back to graduate school to get her PhD in one damned thing or another.

        Who knows?

        I was thinking about it this afternoon, and I felt like that if I could afford to spend the weekend in jail [were she to press indecency charges against me], then a good come-on line would have been something like:

        “Let’s put an octopus between your legs, and then I’ll add the bukakke facial afterwards for the coup de grace.”

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tentacle_erotica

        But I’ll be damned if I feel like saying it, even now.

        And those squiggly Batwoman tattooed eyebrows scrolling across her cheekbones were simply bizarre.

        It was one of the stranger things that I’ve seen in a while – standing right there in front of me in the electrical aisle of Lowes.

        What is the world coming to?

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      • > “Batwoman”

        CATwoman.

        Sorry.

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    • on September 12, 2013 at 8:53 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      lzozooz da GBFM negs so much and gets soooo much pussy fromz neggingz dat all da bros of da hos say “yo wattup negger?!?!?” when dey see me with der siterssz wivessz and grififriendesz lzozlzozzol

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  4. Examples
    That purse is pretty but looks kind of cheap?

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    • Uptalking will get you nowhere.

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    • that’s a big purse, you must be aggressive

      or you keep your dirty harry gun in there

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      • These are solid. They’re compliments, but you’re not taking her seriously and making fun of her a bit. You could follow the “you must be aggressive” bit with cold-reads like “I bet you’re the tomboy type.” (esp if she’s done up all girly and clearly not). Or keep it going into teasing like “I bet you’re the protector of your group…swatting guys away with that giant purse when they hit on them lol” etc etc

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      • Oh yah, always do the cold reads.

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      • That’s a big purse! Are you trying to tell us something?

        ALF

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    • “That purse is pretty but looks kind of cheap?”

      Nope. This is just a compliment followed by a flat-out insult.

      Something like “that purse is pretty. My friend got one just like it when she went to Asia for like $5, I can’t believe how cheap that stuff is there! :)” as if you expect her to agree, is more of a neg because its all complimentary but there’s a backhanded implication that her purse is a knock-off which makes her want to qualify “no this is the real thing, it was expensive!” to not seem like a girl who wears cheap fake shit.

      Of course commenting her purse is pretty either way is super gay lol

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      • You can use an insult like this if she is being a complete bitch, but it’s still better to be playful about it.

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      • Insults like that don’t work because they reek of butthurtness, better to be the man they want and then choose to either bang them or reject them
        Once they see value in you then an insult or rejection will work but not before, if she is being a bitch (and not shit testing) then she sees no value in you

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      • This. Especially this:

        “Once they see value in you then an insult or rejection will work but not before, if she is being a bitch (and not shit testing) then she sees no value in you”

        Good breakdown.

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      • Purses and shoes my luv. Look at this one I like to do is “those are nice shoes, my mom has some just like them.” Also intead of using with word “pretty” a girl insert the word “nice.” You look nice, your hair is nice, that was nice….. Credit Krauser on that one.

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      • Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!

        So much pickup advice focuses on what to do when you have value (not even necessarily higher value), and what most guys struggle with is just getting value.

        A good neg is a sneaky, subtle DHV commando sent behind enemy lines. Like, this right hurr: Nice purse, you must be aggressive. Look at the beauty of that neg. Playful, unafraid, cold read that implies some form of pre-selection (ya ALL OF THE GIRLS, and there were plenty, that I know who have big purses tend to be aggressive, you’re just another one in a million).

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      • If someone is reacting to a person being bitchy by wanting to insult them I see it as a call to action to become a man that doesn’t get bitchy reactions.
        If someone sees you as low value, consider it a wake up call to raise your value.
        We must be reading different pick up material cuz game is an art of showing value, real or not, in one form or another. No one would get anywhere with women if that wasn’t done.

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      • “sneaky subtle”

        Good description

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      • Plus women are defensive about their purses. Very.
        They are just about the height of girl game.
        Implying her purse is too big or too small will put them immediately into the defensive crouch.

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      • Implying she is somehow special is always gold right.

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      • Yes but if she’s being a complete bitch if you insult her with a hint of playfullness you can turn the tide. That is my experience anyway.

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      • Also look at the list of mystery’s negs, those would be considered insults in certain situations. So it’s a dance.

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    • Insults seem to be getting a bad rap here. If more Men insulted more women the world would be a much better place.

      ALF

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      • I love this. It should be made into a poster and pasted up in every public space in the world. This is what is needed to overcome the self esteem movement that has destroyed western women by inflating their egos to unsusstainable levels.

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  5. Watching a pretty girl’s eyes light up and body language change in response to a well delivered neg is the proof in the pudding. And that is it should be.

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    • The key here is “well delivered.” As a long time nice guy beta provider I have a tough time with negs; my delivery often comes across as too insulting. But practice makes perfect.

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      • Just don’t come off as Tourette’s guy and be reasonably civil and you should be ok. Calibration and context are key.

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  6. Didn’t they used to call “negging” “teasing” and isn’t it something boys and girls start doing on the playground?

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    • That’s my take on it. In my own experience there are a lot of guys who have trouble differentiating between an insult and a neg. The delivery is important, and maybe if they thought of it as teasing it would be easier. The prettier the girl, the more “merciless” you can be with the teasing… but it still has to have the tone of teasing vs. contemptuous insult.

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    • Yes.

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    • No. equating the two has to stop.
      it’s similar.
      Teasing is on purpose and the recipient knows that.
      The neg is done with plausible deniability. It’s way more effective to reduce self esteem if the subject thinks you’re trying to be nice.
      Teasing is not perceived as nice. It’s not mean either. It is an obvious game and the woman is in on it.
      on the playground it is insulting. as an adult it can be perceived that way as well so you must calibrate.
      A tease is done with a smirk
      A neg is done with a straight face
      Tease: nice shoes did you get them at KMart?
      Neg: nice shoes are they vintage? (implying not new) No, well they’re nice anyway (almost good enough)

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    • Nah, this is wrong. Teasing is for when you have already established the correct dynamic. Negs (and other assorted tools) establish the dynamic.

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      • This is key. That’s why Mystery talks about using 3 negs immediately on a 10. From there you only neg if she tries to take things back into an adversarial/testing frame, to snuff out bad behavior and teach her to be nice.

        Teasing doesn’t work if you’re low-value…negging is to establish your high value. That’s why you for neg a 6…if you’re a decently social confident guy, you’re already high enough value. But the stripper who has millionaires buying her trips to Rome, you’re less than nothing to her until you establish value.

        Another key is that teasing is blatantly conscious, whereas negging tends to come off like you’re oblivious…as if you didn’t realize asking if she’s wearing extensions is, in Girl World, an insult. Like you seem like a big dumb friendly dog establishing rapport but you inadvertently poke at a sore spot. So you have that plausible deniability…but they still have to react.

        There are a lot of little nuances to all this, which is why 1) so many guys with their “read about negs in Maxim” level training and no field experience fuck it up, and 2) when executed correctly, it’s powerful as fuck.

        All these little things Mystery came up with about starting in Attraction not trying to start in Rapport, and not goin backwards in the pickup from Comfort back to teasing, etc…these are important details that make a difference.

        I still highly recommend people serious about learning game watch/read Mystery Method. The actual wording is old-school outdated, but the concepts are still 100% solid. I use a lot of RSD stuff these days, but I have a massive solid foundation of MM under it.

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      • “Teasing doesn’t work if you’re low-value…negging is to establish your high value. That’s why you for neg a 6…if you’re a decently social confident guy, you’re already high enough value. But the stripper who has millionaires buying her trips to Rome, you’re less than nothing to her until you establish value.”

        This is the best advertisement for inner game too. Fix your frame, get it congruent, and the value follows you in the room, in cop circles called “command presence”.

        Lest all the simps and new learners think that you have to keep overthinking this stuff forever. If you really fix your game and internalize it, you don’t just mimic a natural, you become a natural, implied value and all. But you MUST do the work. Learn to kill your ego first, and then fire it back up and focus it.

        Then you can just be the kind you (not the nice one) but with full frame control. The land of milk and honeys. Or a healthy LTR. (note on that, less than in 10,000 are LTR material BTW, but don’t take my word for it.)

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      • ‘note on that, less than in 10,000 are LTR material BTW, but don’t take my word for it.’

        This. Banging girls and sloots may be a matter of game-skill, but finding legitimately cool girls seems to be more of a numbers game.

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      • on September 12, 2013 at 6:13 pm Lucky White Male

        Ya – excellent distinctions here, also above from pulsotic

        To me, the Neg is still an art form. You have to truly be high value and genuinely disinterested to pull it off. How many men are actually this? 5%, 10%

        Otherwise, you can look like a try-hard guy looking to make an impression by teasing girls. This in itself can blow you out

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      • So true!! Too many guys try it and crash and burn. My advice, establish self worth before even attempting it.

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      • Mystery was THE originating genius of modern pickup, the Jimi Hendrix of pickup, unless you want to go back as far as Ovid. He started the integration of evo – psych , refined with empirical testing of concepts that academia could not because of politics. All the rest are just writing the footnotes and making more practical tools.

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  7. Looks like some people need to get the memo still.

    Yes Hipster, teasing is exactly it.

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  8. I always thought nagging is also related to shit-testing- testing how much shit a man will eat to test his mettle.

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    • All the women in my family were nags from hell and they all raised badasses, so maybe there is something to this. Every boy needs a beautiful shit-testing mother and at least a lesser-alpha bullying amoging dad in whatever religious/social context it does not matter.

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  9. Negging is a dumb word. It’s just teasing. I’ve been doing it since I was 12, and have an inborn natural talent at it. And yes, it made young teenage girls get crushes on me. If you don’t have any talent at it, it’s really not going to work. I don’t know how anyone can develop a natural spontaneous wit. I’ll say this, though: when you are witty then you are often a cause of wit in others.

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    • “If you don’t have any talent at it, it’s really not going to work. I don’t know how anyone can develop a natural spontaneous wit.”

      Nah, you can learn it. It’s a lot easier for guys who grow up teasing girls (like guys with multiple sisters etc), but anyone can learn it. That’s why there are books on comedy and improv classes and shit. It’s just hard and can take a long time and the path is full of a ton of awkward embarrassing interactions until you get better at it lol

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      • “Nah, you can learn it.”

        I have seen guys make incredible fools of themselves trying to learn it. In college I saw a guy in the library sit down at a table I was at and said to the girl sitting there, “What’s the story, morning glory?” He honestly said that. I think I looked at him with my mouth open. Then he got defensive and said, “It’s the only way I know to talk to girls.”

        I looked at her and said, “I looked at you and had a spontaneous physical reaction.” She sort of giggled and looked down. Then I added, “I didn’t say what kind of reaction it was.” She looked confused and maybe a little angry.

        I said to him, “That’s how you do it.”

        It was completely spontaneous on my part and his was completely rehearsed.

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      • What a super cool story.

        “I have seen guys make incredible fools of themselves trying to learn it”

        Ya, it’s hard and you’ll make an incredible fool of yourself while you try to learn it. What’s your point? Don’t try? Don’t practice? Be so terrified of embarrassing yourself that you only do things you’re good at because you’re scared of social judgement?

        Do you think Michael Jordan just picked up a basketball and joined the NBA? If you’re just starting out with a skill-set, there’s a period where you learn the basics and fuck up a lot until you start fucking up less and less. This is common sense.

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      • I forget to mention there are women out there who have NO sense of humor. You “neg” them and they’ll do everything in their power to fuck you over. They’ve done it to me until I finally some people just don’t have a sense of humor.

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      • Negging a girl doesn’t require her to have a sense of humor.

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      • > “I forget to mention there are women out there who have NO sense of humor. You “neg” them and they’ll do everything in their power to fuck you over. They’ve done it to me until I finally some people just don’t have a sense of humor.”

        You’re describing what I call “The Darkness”.

        When the nihilism takes over and consumes their hearts and destroys their souls and dooms them to a spinsterhood living all alone with their cats and their empty cat food tins in the garbage can and the cat hair all over the plush couch and the stinking disgusting cat litters in the bathroom and the Toxoplasma gondii turning their brains into swiss cheese.

        It’s getting to the point where I can friggin smell “The Darkness” on a chick from a mile away.

        And I just can’t get it up for The Dark Chicks anymore.

        Can’t even force myself to try to clown around with them.

        Like I was saying somewhere else on this thread, I’ve toyed with the idea of developing an “Evangelical Game”, to try to help save some of these poor lost souls from the fate which surely awaits, but that little voice in the back of my head keeps saying: “Run don’t walk the hell away from them.”

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      • 10 bucks says you were just better looking than the other guy. Case closed. File under: things passively high value men think count as ‘wit.’

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      • I’m not handsome. But the basis of “negging” is having confidence in yourself.

        I’ll tell you one thing: you tease women and they are either going to like you or hate you. So if you want to practice having some women hate you, you’d better have a damn thick skin.

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      • “I’ll tell you one thing: you tease women and they are either going to like you or hate you”

        Tell me another thing!

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      • A woman’s hate is better than her indifference.

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      • Bob – yep! CH, disagree, it is def not better to blow it and lose the opportunity to establish rapport

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      • I’ll tell you one thing: you tease women and they are either going to like you or hate you. So if you want to practice having some women hate you, you’d better have a damn thick skin.

        The number of times I have kicked myself for making a woman hate me is dwarfed by the number of times I have kicked myself for not approaching or approaching but being ‘too nice.’ I wish I had made more women ‘hate’ me, I would have had a lot more sex by now.

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      • 1. If you’re interacting with a new girl, the neg has to be smart, and guaranteed she won’t hate you. Be witty, not insulting. She should feel what you’re saying is meant as a light sexual advance, not that you simply want to be a meanie. Neggs with a new girl should be a form of flirting. You can still be witty and bring her down a peg that she’s intrigued and not hurt. It should be fun for her to interact with you; not hurtful. Of course, the hotter the girl, the more absurd the neg is because she already knows she is hot by the amount of attention she gets from men. So it causes fascination in her mid when you neg her; she wants to know why you’re not hit by her beauty like most other men.
        2. If it’s a girl you’re already seeing or dating, the neg should be to control both that hamster from getting out of hand, and the inflated ego that tells her you’re into her so it’s safe to act like a bitch. Maybe it even instills dread to a lesser degree. In any case, you can be more caustic. It should be based on one of her insecurities, one of her bad habits, or one of her fuck ups, and it could be used to straighten her out and/or bring her back to reality, which most women lose after they get comfortable. But, don’t be overly cruel and too overbearing all the time, be more constructive.

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    • ‘when you are witty then you are often a cause of wit in others.’

      Ya. When you give value in the form of creating a reality, it’s easy for everyone else to follow the rules you have set up and contribute. That’s why hanging out with Naturals is fun.

      That’s the thing with that Jersey Shore clip and the ‘…she’s too young for you,’ banter.

      Maybe you can’t learn super complicated high level wordplay without some sort of IQ, but fun, relaxed wit? Everyone can improve on that. And that’s the type that’s most valued, because it can be appreciated by everyone.

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    • A “neg” is an insult is a neg. The only difference is execution and status of insulter, which prepare the woman for how to receive the comment.

      Negging is teasing is negging. The art of it is how subtly one reveals the intention, which is difficult to pull of with a total stranger. You can’t be too obvious, you can’t be too opaque. You can speak the most outrageous words if your body language and facial expressions are properly calibrated. Or, at the highest level, one can express the hidden truth with just his eyes.

      Yes, once you know what is really happening, you can actively improve your subverbal communication.

      Negs are not really complements, backhanded or otherwise. They are blunt truths courageously uttered (demonstrating status) but with a twinkle in one’s eye, to indicate playful intent. The more she knows your “intention tells,” the more she will read you correctly.

      A “neg” communicates: “he has the courage to be forthright and truthful, and for those rare qualities I’m willing to listen further.” When you stop worrying, like a supplicant, about stepping on people’s toes, people respond positively because they are tired of living in a world choked with phony smog.

      The same goes for genuine compliments, too. If you establish your status as a truthteller, the positive or negative effect is almost immaterial. People don’t want to be put down; and they don’t really want to be raised up. They want the truth, gentle or rough according to taste. In a society of sissies, girls will like it rough.

      Matt

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      • Ever notice how rigid people write m u c h l o n g e r comments, becuase they think everyone else iz dumb and they have to HAMMER things into their stupid little pinheads. Well, that’s not me- I’m SMART! And FURTHERMORE…….(ad infinitum et nauseum rigido paranoia)

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      • Or, perhaps your intellectual shallowness is being projected as normal, where for most normal men of reason it is not. Not everybody thinks that thought should never exceed the length of a tweet or bumper sticker.

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      • Well, you obviously require a refresher in the basics, given the many more much lengthier posts (including the OP) that left out key observations.

        The “neg” theory is too clever by half. It is a formulaic flow-chart insert in a “How To Flirt” manual, under the subhead, “How To Tease.” Given that there are fifty comments here that disagree (including the OP) with that statement, how do you expect me to dumb things down to your ADHD level and still be fully responsive?

        Everywhere I go: chumps and their resentment. And no ability to control themselves. What value does your faggy snark add to the discussion? All I see is insecurity. He thinks he’s smarter than me!!!

        Better critics at least have the ability to explain their disagreement, not just gush umbrage reflexively.

        Matt

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      • “Negging is teasing is negging. The art of it is how subtly one reveals the intention, which is difficult to pull of with a total stranger. You can’t be too obvious, you can’t be too opaque. You can speak the most outrageous words if your body language and facial expressions are properly calibrated. Or, at the highest level, one can express the hidden truth with just his eyes.”

        So you’re an actor too, eh?
        .

        “Negs are not really complements, backhanded or otherwise. “

        Did you mean complements or compliments?

        Poof…..I thought you were the most perfect man that ever was and ever will be. You just went down a peg. Please pay attention to what you’re typing because Lily wants manly perfection.

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  10. If only I’d known it was a backhanded compliment in my beta blue pill days… Doh!

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    • > “If only I’d known it was a backhanded compliment in my beta blue pill days… Doh!”

      Never forget The Fundamental Law of Any Possible Game Theory:

      YOU ARE THE PRIZE!!!

      The very fact – in and of itself – that you bother to tease around with her is what compliments her [and, for that matter, what complements her].

      To be a true PUA, that’s precisely the attitude which must become second nature to you at all times – that YOU are the prize, NOT her.

      PS: Unless you’re such a white knight that you’re into “Mercy Game”, where you jostle around kind-heartedly with the fat ugly miserable chicks simply because you feel so sorry for them that you want them to have just a little happiness in their lives.

      So that they can then race home and brag to all their fat ugly miserable friends that the handsomest guy they’ve ever met just negged on ’em.

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  11. I think Mystery ended up defining a neg as anything a man who was interested in a women wouldn’t say. The implication being that you are not interested in her because you have such high status and so must be a valuable catch.

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    • lol this is not a bad summary at all. That’s why I say it’s more about disqualifying yourself from being labelled “the next guy of the night to hit on her”, which has the side-effect of making her chase your validation, VS going in primarily to damage her ego.

      You’re just implying “I’m used to girls like you, I’m not impressed…YET. Keep trying.”

      That’s why you 180 on them afterward, when they’re chasing your validation, and you qualify them on something trivial (not their looks lol) and give them that validation…you’re saying “okay NOW you’ve impressed me and I’m interested.”

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    • I think we’re leaving out, that Mystery, the originator of the term “neg” specifically stated that below a certain level of attractiveness you should not neg. Non smoking women are already insecure enough about their looks. Except maybe really hopeless pea-brained warpigs that think they’re BBW, which you wouldn’t want anyway.

      Like


  12. on September 12, 2013 at 9:53 am RappaccinisDaughter

    The problem, CH, is that so many guys attempting this tactic DO NOT understand the difference between a “neg” and an insult. From what I’ve read on here, a “neg” is supposed to be playful…like you were teasing a bratty little sister, but not trying to make her cry. Instead, what I’m seeing out there is guys saying these unbelievably rude things.

    Example: I was meeting some friends for dinner, but I got there early and had to wait at the bar. Some random strikes up a conversation with me. We speak for a couple of minutes, everything is polite and friendly, when he comes out with this whopper:

    “You know, those child-bearing hips of yours almost make up for how small your tits are.”

    That interaction went from, “Hmm, maybe he’s got some friends that might like to come hang out with me and my friends after we’ve all eaten,” to me actually giving the guy the finger and telling him to go fuck himself. Which I generally never do because I think it’s tacky, but I was so shocked and insulted that it just kind of popped out.

    Like


    • It’s true. It isn’t easy to gently tease a woman, and it is something that takes confidence and experience. I think at the very least, betas should lay off the compliments. Especially, the compliments on traits she was born with, such as, good looks, brains or even her feminine personality. I’d compliment things that take effort, such as how good of a job she did raking the leaves or something similar. Learning how to gently tease her can come with more experience.

      Like


      • “I’d compliment things that take effort, such as how good of a job she did raking the leaves or something similar.”

        Except women don’t like to get compliments for doing a good job, as much as they like to get complimented over their looks. I find the best way is for a man not to compliment in the beginning, but to show his interest in a different way that indicates he likes how a woman looks. A man can show this without saying it.

        Like


      • “I enjoy some feminine feed back as much as the next man but you three attention-whores are really beginning to stink up this site”

        Now how can I turn this into a neg without diluting its accuracy?

        ALF

        Like


    • Ha! You got insulted by that? That’s not an insult. It’s a guy that doesn’t know how to flirt effectively; he’s a bit tacky. I also find him a bit too sexual for the first few minutes of a new encounter. Either way, I don’t think it means he found you unattractive. On the contrary.

      Hang out with him and his buddies and evaluate him throughout the night, especially if he was attractive. You could always give him the boot later. Why jump the gun before you find out more about him?

      Like


      • Fuck CH half the comments on every thread now are from these 3 girls.

        Like


      • They just want white babies.

        Like


      • Uh, so like what are we waiting for?

        Hell, I’d even put a white baby in that filthy j*wess Lily’s womb.

        Let’s get to work, guys.

        Like


      • My womb is too clean for the likes of you. I wouldn’t accept your sperm. I need my man STD free.

        Like


      • Yee-Hah! Now we’re rolling! Hatred as a goal folks! If she’s not putting you down, she’ll never put out!!!

        Like


      • Hatred is the best sex, according to some here.

        LOL! My put down was a jest in Shane’s case. He’s not STD infested. He is very selective of his females. He likes them pristine, but he says he’ll always do a filthy ho just for good measure.

        Anyway, it’s not his STDs I worry about; it’s his conspiracies. I wonder what today’s flavor is?

        Like


      • > “I wonder what today’s flavor is?”

        The salvation of your immortal soul?

        Bitch?

        Like


      • This is your conspiracy theory for the day? Not sensational enough!
        C’mon! Give us more juice.

        Like


      • 10 sons and 3 girls is my goal for this year. For RD however, “Let’s make mouth babies, little girl.”

        Like


      • Oh yeah, her first. Love her so much.

        Like


      • “10 sons and 3 girls is my goal for this year” means you got to impregnate 13 different girls this year. Do you have it in you?

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 10:55 am RappaccinisDaughter

        If you want, I can compose 1,000 words of bizarre schizophrenic word-salady conspiracy theories involving Tucker Max and the Fed, and copy and paste it into every thread.

        Like


      • wouldn’t be the same- you might have already been desouled by the fiat masters, for all we know. the occasional lolzlolzlolzozlz would be cool.

        Like


      • +10 for Maurice.

        Like


      • Rappacini’s Daughter and maurice, I caused myself pain trying to hold in may laughter.

        Like


      • Thank you. You’re one of the very few with common sense here, RD.

        It’s so bizarre that grown men can be so drenched in all of this nonsense, like children. Haha! They think tall dark and handsome, and full of conspiracy theory is an attraction magnet. I’m sure once they open their mouths on dates and talk about all this imaginary stuff they heard in those awful website that fill their minds with fear, they go home alone. That’s why they come here in the morning and post frustrated mambo jumbo gibberish.

        Like


      • 72 days of fertility in the wall, 72days in the waaaall– take two out and pass them around,

        70 days of …

        Like


      • So you’re saying handing a chick in a bar a tin foil beanie and saying “No time to explain, wear this” isn’t a good opener?

        Like


      • on September 13, 2013 at 12:36 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Actually, Burninator, that would probably be pretty hilarious.

        Like


      • The hate is almost as thick as my cum cum cum cum cum!

        Like


      • LOL! I’m with Rapp, absolutely no way would I talk to this guy. But I’d never give him the finger…. I’d just laugh at him and walk away. I wouldn’t even have to fake the laugh because it’s so bad it’s hilarious.

        Like


      • I wouldn’t be insulted. He just doesn’t know what to say. It’s not like I am taking him home either. I let him and his buddies chase after me and my friends, have laughs and drinks with them. Later, I’ll decide what to do with him. Chances are, I won’t see him again.

        Truth is, I hardly ever get insulted by a man’s verbal advances. If he groped my tit or ass, then yeah, I’d walk away.

        Like


      • I’m not exactly insulted because I know it’s not true and I don’t even know the guy. I just think opening with crude sexual comments is a turnoff. I don’t like tacky, low class poseurs. The thing is, if the girl is pretty she gets hit on a lot, so if some idiot opens with this crude lameness, why would she entertain it? She has no investment in this guy. Easier to wait for the next one, who won’t be such a tool.

        Like


      • I agree with you in principle; why bother with him. The only thing is I try not to develop a bad attitude, which a lot of girls have. A man can’t say a thing these days without a girl sneering at him. I think it’s a major turn off for men. That’s why I try to be good natured, and not get annoyed by everything. But, I do draw the line at touching.

        Also, she says she was with friends. That makes a difference. If I were alone, I wouldn’t be inclined to hang out with him. But with my friends and his buddies if they wanna come over and hang out, why not? The point I am trying to make is not to make a big deal out of everything.

        Also, if you have something your overly touchy about and someone notices it, it does tend to upset you. However, a woman should know by the amount she gets hit on how attractive she is. In any case, we all have different comfort zones.

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 10:53 am RappaccinisDaughter

        Oh no, that was an insult, and a particularly disgusting one. For anyone who may have missed the subtext here:

        A) The use of the word “tits” to a woman he barely knows. I hadn’t cursed in front of him, or busted out any of my politically incorrect jokes; he had no way of knowing whether vulgar words bother me or not. (Actually, they don’t, I have a filthy mouth, but because I have some sense of social grace, I reserve my sailor tongue for people whom I know well, and know won’t be bothered.)

        B) Yes, as an A-cup, I have a humble bosom. Does he think I don’t know? I don’t have a fucking mirror? That I never got teased for it as a teenager? I’ve never seen a damn pinup girl? Going straight after something any reasonable person would assume might be a sore spot for me is cruel.

        C) “Childbearing hips” = ewwwww. Even if I weren’t a childfree-by-choice person, referring to my body as some kind of babymaking machine is insulting.

        Here’s another one: I’m at the gym. Some dude comes up and asks if he can “work in” on the machine I’m using. Sure, I tell him, just let me finish this set. While he’s waiting for me to finish up, he starts making conversation. Which is fine. What isn’t fine is saying: “Boy, you’re just *pouring* sweat, aren’t you?” YES, COCKBREATH, I JUST RAN FIVE MILES AND I’M SWEATING. Excuse me for having fucking sweat glands like some kind of human person.

        Like


      • PMSing today. U sound like my ex.

        Like


      • And you sound angry. What happened match.com didn’t come through once more? You were doing so much better in the last few threads. It must have all crumbled on your head again.

        Like


      • lzozlozzl. Read all of my comments? What? Thank you for proving our point again. It’s not a day to day thing girl. CH is correct about stuff every day.

        Like


      • Don’t take what I said the wrong way. I was happy for you when you sounded a lot more optimistic. I was hoping something good was on the horizon. Then you let me down by being a bitch once again.

        Like


      • lol I simply pointed out the fact that she is PMSing today. It’s cute. I have PMS radar.

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      • Are there any females aged 25-42 who have no tattoos?

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      • Yeah, me, and proud of it.

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 11:19 am RappaccinisDaughter

        Actually, I’m trying to be helpful here. To give you a “what not to do,” with real-world examples of guys who didn’t understand the difference between a “neg” and an insult.

        If you don’t want to hear it from me, fine—YaReally goes into some further helpful details a few posts down.

        Like


      • Don’t look at them as insults, look at them as bastard tests.

        Like


      • “Boy, you’re just *pouring* sweat, aren’t you?”

        lol this one actually IS a neg…but it pissed you off because (no offense because everyone here assumes the girls posting here are all 10s lol) you’re not a 10. You’re probably a 7 or view yourself as a 7-8. There’s no reason to neg you.

        Now if you were one of those girls who goes to the gym with her makeup all dolled up and lifts a couple weights but is primarily there to socialize and get attention from guys, that neg would be solid if he followed it up with a compliment (like “I love girls who take care of their health” etc).

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 11:30 am RappaccinisDaughter

        No, I’m not a 10. In 1945, I’d be a 6. In 2013, I probably get grade-inflated to a 7 just because I’m in good shape and I don’t have a weird Skrillex haircut or razorblade scars on my arms and legs.

        Like


      • Girls PMSing think they are being logical but it is like a robot or demon is controlling their brain at that moment.

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      • I always judge by the 1945 scale. Disqualifies a lot of women right off the bat, but oh well, no reason to settle I figure.

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      • Covered in sweat no make up = 5 max

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      • Ok how about “wow you sweat a lot for a thin chick”

        Like


      • I hate to admit it; it’s not a good idea to look manly in a gym. Lots of men are around and they look, and boy do they look. Why put yourself in a situation where you feel low value and unattractive? The feeling is very powerfully hurtful to a woman. Unless, she can handle it, but most can’t (who can?). Even RD, who is supposedly a tomboy, felt some emotional anguish when believing the guy thought she was unattractive when he saw her sweating buckets. Why put yourself in that position? You can still exercise and look feminine. Try to limit the sweating and always wear sexy workout outfits. You’ll go home happier, if not out to coffee with someone new 🙂

        Like


      • on September 13, 2013 at 11:53 am RappaccinisDaughter

        I wouldn’t say “emotional anguish.” It was more like, “WTF, this is a gym, numbnuts, what do you expect?”

        I don’t go to the gym to pick up; I go to the gym to chase the endorphin dragon. That’s why I deliberately selected one that doesn’t have a reputation as a meat market.

        Like


      • I know those types of gyms, they have a false reputation of beings serious, however if men can join too, get ready for a meat market. Of course, nothing is as bad as Equinox.

        Anyway, since you’re athletic, how about a Cirque de soleil workout? Can you imagine the situations you’d get into then?

        Like


      • Babymaking is key to your frustration.

        As a young man I always felt bad for women who said they never orgasmed with a man. Now that I’m older and wiser, I still feel pity for women who’ve never been properly fucked, but it doesn’t wound me like it used to. I’m reconciled to the fact that some women are just going to have to remain unfucked.

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 1:01 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        “Babymaking is key to your frustration.”

        LOLWUT

        Like


      • Touched a nerve, eh.

        Eros, loosener of limbs, never approaches her….

        By the standards of cathedral feminism, Sappho was quaint if not reactionary. That’s because she knew what makes women tick. Nevertheless, that fragment could serve as a fitting motto for a few women’s studies adjuncts.

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 4:16 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        No, you didn’t so much touch a nerve as make me re-read your message three times before I conceded that I have no idea what your point may be.

        Are you trying to imply that I’m inorgasmic? Because that’s not even close to the truth. My fallopian tubes are the only non-functional part of my biology, and those do not, I assure you, play any role in my ability to climax.

        Like


      • “My fallopian tubes are the only non-functional part of my biology”

        Yep and the wheels are the only no functioning part of my car.

        ALF

        Like


      • What I like about this interaction is he made a good neg on you RD, and you immediately started qualifying yourself regarding your Orgasm status. How interesting.

        Like


      • on September 13, 2013 at 7:20 am RappaccinisDaughter

        Eeyore’s comment wasn’t really a neg, Burninator…really more like a non sequitur.

        Like


      • “Yes, as an A-cup, I have a humble bosom. Does he think I don’t know? I don’t have a fucking mirror? That I never got teased for it as a teenager? I’ve never seen a damn pinup girl? Going straight after something any reasonable person would assume might be a sore spot for me is cruel.”

        I get your point. So you’re very touchy over your boobs. Most of us women are very touchy over our boobs. So, if we think our boobs are not a turn on, we get insulted, which is why they make great neg subjects. Except, we really shouldn’t listen only to one little thing a man says, while overlooking everything else he says.

        Anyway, the positive side of this is that your tits are less likely to sag, and if you’re not having kids, then you can probably keep them perky until the age of 60+ (esepcilly if you work out). There is always a positive side to every negative 🙂 Furthermore, once you get over your tits being small, you’ll be less defensive.
        .

        “Childbearing hips” = ewwwww. Even if I weren’t a childfree-by-choice person, referring to my body as some kind of babymaking machine is insulting.”

        LOL! Actually, it wasn’t an insult, regardless of you having kids or not. It was very sexual though. Hips mean the pelvic area. I admit it’s a turn off when a guy is overly sexual from the beginning, especially when he does it in a crud way like his guy did it. But, it’s probably his way of saying you have nice ass and hips. That’s why you shouldn’t focus on one morsel of speech, while overlooking the other things a man says or means.
        .

        If a guy mentions you’re oozing sweat, rest assured he’s NOT INTERESTED, because it implies you’re not feminine. Unless……maybe he is envisioning you in bed with him pouring sweat. Who knows what some men mean? Again, don’t be too upset. Chances are, you’ll see him again at the gym when you’re not sweating, and he might say something a lot more flattering. lol, they forget quickly the shape they saw you last if presently you look good.

        Like


      • I am very touchy over her boobs too.

        Like


      • Adding fuel to the fire, the first chance you get?

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      • Don’t worry, I know you’ve got a full cup size on her.

        You know, those half-a-handful B’s of yours almost makes up for your constant misspellings, malapropisms, and aggressive anti-antisemitism.

        I can overlook Rapp’s boyish chest because she never produces an imperfect post here.

        Like


      • Oh damn I was gonna post that.

        Wtf, if a chick is sensitive about her boobs she can just get a boob job. Quit complaining Rappuccino girl and do something about it.

        Like


      • You know, I am not perfect like you, right? You’re the most perfect man that ever was, and ever will be (I’m swooning). This is why I need you to correct all my mistakes for me.

        p.s. why is my supposed “aggressive anti-antisemitism” always upset you so much? That’s the one thing still a mystery to me. It’s not like you’re upset by the antisemtism itself, just by MY anti-antisemitism. Faaaaascinating…….. maybe, even telling 😉

        Like


      • A cups are the best. What’s cute is the girls with the best boobs have the least ego about them. Small and perky are by far the best boobs.

        Like


      • Now, that’s a little positivity from you. You sound nicer.

        Like


      • Yep. And you have no tats too. Let’s meet up. I also have no tats.

        Like


      • Will you sing me the same mantra?

        • Heartiste is always right (that’s always first on any agenda, so let’s get him outta the way)
        • GBFM was right all along. The girls are butthexed by Tucker Max and Bernackified $s they spend shopping and racking up credit card bills (never mind that he’s leaving in 3 months and being replaced by a female. Oh, the fun that would generate…)
        • Shane was right about the hangover school of no fertility, the shikutzin and the goyim (Aramaic too)
        • David was right about the goyim seed spilling like H2O outside shiksas’ wombs (those Joojos don’t want white children)
        • Carlos Danger is spot on. He pinpointed how his whole wife’s family was massacred by the Joojoos (and he only cries crocodile tears over massacres he can link to the joojoos, the rest he doesn’t lose his sleep over, like Russian massacre of German women. That’s all in a day’s work; collateral damage, or someone’s gotta rape women once in a while, why not the Russians).

        I mean, my head is exploding. Girls wanna have fun 😉

        Like


      • I don’t know anything about the last 3 bullet points. ; )~

        Like


      • Lily: I will beg my way into your garden. And then I’ll break my way out when it rains. Yeah, just to get back to the place where I started. So I can want you back all over again. (No, I don’t really understand.) ; )

        Like


      • Oh……. yes you do, especially GBFM. C’mon you worship that guy and his inanities.

        Like


      • Lily, while his words were crude, why be offended by the fact that your natural design is meant exclusively to bear children? Insulted at his crude approach, sure, but being insulted by a raw fact seems rather odd. Or am I misreading you?

        Like


      • It wasn’t me. I was relating RD’s account about her encounter with a guy she met out. He told her, “You know, those child-bearing hips of yours almost make up for how small your tits are.” https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/09/12/study-the-neg-works/#comment-477937

        She was insulted that he noticed her tits are small while remarking crudely about her pelvis. When we asked why that upset her, she explained that part of it is that she doesn’t intend on having kids anyway.

        I’m with you. Just because she doesn’t intend on having kids, shouldn’t upset her the guy thought her hips were great for child bearing, lol. It was a sexual remark. It may have been crude, but wasn’t that bad. I think she was more upset he noticed her small tits than about him saying anything sexual to her.

        Like


      • Looks like I experienced a bit of thread/handle confusion. D’oh!

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      • “referring to my body as some kind of babymaking machine is insulting.”

        This is what wymmin actually believe.

        No it’s not you tool.

        Like


      • Even if I weren’t a childfree-by-choice person, referring to my body as some kind of babymaking machine is insulting.

        Don’t read the dictionary, your head might explode.

        “female: of, relating to, or being the sex that bears young or produces eggs”

        Clearly, Miriam-Webster was written by The Patriarchy.

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 2:50 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        First, if you’re going to quote the dictionary at me, perhaps you should spell it correctly. It’s Merriam-Webster.

        Second, I didn’t say it was *incorrect.* I said it was *insulting.* Although both words do indeed start with “i,” they have vastly different meanings. (But don’t take my word for it; that’s what dictionaries are for!)

        Third, if you insist on being a biological essentialist, allow me to remind you that all human bodies are finely-tuned machines that are designed to efficiently transform sandwiches into turds. So, the next time you meet a girl, you should definitely address her as “turd machine.” This is a virtual guarantee that she will be begging for your cock in minutes.

        If she doesn’t, try showing her your high-school biology textbook. That oughta turn the trick!

        Like


      • Hey now don’t get all sensitive. Just because you are child-free by choice doesn’t make you a bad person.

        It just makes you a sub-par woman.

        Like


      • Hey Rapp, speaking of sandwiches…

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 4:03 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Well, pulsotic, I don’t usually eat bread because of the whole Paleo thing, but what the hell, you only live once…make mine a nice roast beef and cheddar on rye. Lots of horseradish sauce, k?

        Like


      • “You know, those child-bearing hips of yours almost make up for how small your tits are.”

        How should this have been formulated into a proper “neg,” then?

        Don’t listen to the haters! Show them how useful you can be, and tell them how it’s done.

        I don’t think there is a difference between a neg and an insult beyond execution, but I’m willing to hear the case.

        Like


      • How should this have been formulated into a proper “neg,” then?

        “Your sexy hips balance out your athletic boobs.”

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 3:20 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Jinx. Now I owe you a Coke.

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 3:19 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Well, first off, I’d avoid the use of “tits” with a woman you’ve just met, especially if you’re referring to her directly. You could, instead, make some comment about her having an “athletic” body type. “Athletic” is not a direct insult, but it tends to imply a somewhat tomboyish appearance.

        Like


      • Artful, I suppose, if somewhat forcing rapport.

        (How was that neg?)

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      • (Its a neg because athletes don’t have boobs)

        Like


      • It’s a neg because everyone knows athletes don’t be havin no booobs

        Like


      • But, the whole point of what he said would have been lost had he used a different expression than the word tits. It wouldn’t have the same power. OK, maybe the word boobs would have softened it a bit. But the word tits makes it funny.

        You’re too sensitive over your breasts, is really the issue. The moment you stop caring about their size is the moment it won’t get to you. You’re not as annoyed by the crude sexuality of what he said, as much as by him noticing your small tits. How dare he notice, right? Why must he notice too? That ran through your mind in a split second.

        Like


      • The moment she stops caring about her small tits is the moment we can move on to her big ass.

        ALF

        Like


      • “I don’t think there is a difference between a neg and an insult beyond execution, but I’m willing to hear the case.”

        A neg is gentler than an insult. It’s meant to generate interest in the girl to want to interact with you. If you’re just going to insult her (speaking about a new encounter now, not an established relationship), she’ll walk away hurt or turn around and show her fangs. The last thing you want is to rouse her nasty bitchy side. It gets ugly, and it doesn’t stimulate attraction. Unless…..you yourself are a very high-value man. Regular men that just want to get the girl’s attention as well as stand out in her mind, have to be more cautious about the lines they use. A man that can pull this off successfully most of the time is indeed an artist.

        Like


    • “You know, those child-bearing hips of yours almost make up for how small your tits are.”

      Fucking terrible. Who SAYS shit like this lol. This is not a neg.

      Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 11:22 am RappaccinisDaughter

        The real head-scratcher was that he actually looked surprised at my reaction. As I was stalking away, he was sputtering “But but but hey hey RD–hey hey” to my retreating back.

        Like


      • lol I blame PUA hitting the MSM for this shit. The city I’m in right now is really bad for it too. Basically a bunch of guys who used to just be average nice guy chumps who at least wouldn’t ruin your day, have found bits and pieces of Game via the MSM, but they never really read/watched Mystery Method or anything, so they go out like children waving guns around and they have no idea how to wield it proper or why it does what it does or what the consequences are or how to recover etc etc.

        So in the past that guy might’ve just been “a nice dude” who you weren’t attracted to but at least bought you a drink and was friendly…but now that same guy is like “I don’t buy ugly girls drinks, you golddigging whore. Wait, why are you leaving???” lol

        Like


      • “So in the past that guy might’ve just been “a nice dude” who you weren’t attracted to but at least bought you a drink and was friendly…but now that same guy is like “I don’t buy ugly girls drinks, you golddigging whore. Wait, why are you leaving???

        Yes but even this progress

        ALF

        Like


      • Hey RD bring dat fat ass back here I didn’t meansz it about your boohoohoobz.

        ALF

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      • Lol, I was going to post “where is YaReally?? Ask him if he’d ever say something like this.” You’d be amazed at how often it happens.

        Like


      • How would YaReally neg her then?

        The “neg” formula as explained here seems cumbersome. You craft your insult to seem like a compliment, and temporarily confuse her? Too much mental gymnastics.

        Once you establish your good will, you don’t have to qualify every criticism with a compliment. Or vice-versa. You just have to maintain the sense that your intention is not to hurt so much as to speak frankly and her ego is not more important than the truth.

        It seems like the “backhanded” part of the “backhanded compliment” is more about reminding the gamer approaching the ten that she is not a perfect flawless goddess, there’s nothing to be nervous about because she has insecurities just like he does, and it’s best to get that out there as a way to keep himself from falling under her spell.

        She doesn’t want to hear about how beautiful she is. She wants to hear about it from someone she respects for being truthful. Everyone else has an ulterior motive. Likewise, she doesn’t want to hear about her flaws from neggers. She wants criticism from someone she trusts won’t bullshit her (with inscrutable intentions) — which is why they have faggot friends and sassy BFFs.

        The neg tries to do too much at once, which is why reformed omegas have such difficulty calibrating it.

        Matt

        Like


      • Matt, another way to do it is to just act like you’re not fazed by her. The most effective negs to me are just guys who are relatively indifferent to me. I say relatively because at some point the guy has to make the approach, which shows interest. But after that, if he doesn’t seem too invested in the conversation or whether we see each other again, that’s a big neg… even if he doesn’t use any cute semi-insults or phrases from the list.

        Like


      • Matt, another way to do it is to just act like you’re not fazed by her. The most effective negs to me are just guys who are relatively indifferent to me.

        “Another way”? I’d say the only way.

        It points up that pose is superior to content. Which is why the overcalculations about what constitutes insulting vs. complimentary seem superfluous.

        I’d say an honest, truthful observation delivered indifferently is the exact equivalent of a “neg,” whether that observation is positive or negative, whether that observation balances out the criticism with a complimentary tone or not. In short, the whole of the effect depends on attitude.

        The indifference indicates superiority, which yields confidence/calm, which connotes dominance. The woman is then responsive to the dominance more than the content of the observation.

        “You are the most beautiful woman I have seen in a month, and I would like to talk to you” can be just as effective as any veiled or “backhanded” insult would be. The wildcard is the level of indifference/confidence with which it is delivered. “Indifference” as in: I am stating a fact, and it doesn’t really matter how you receive news of that fact.

        I would think negging is more appropriate for more familiar relationships, when the woman can more instinctively read a man’s subtleties.

        Matt

        Like


      • “I would think negging is more appropriate for more familiar relationships, when the woman can more instinctively read a man’s subtleties.”

        No. You can use neggs in a new encounter if it’s witty and meant to establish some kind of icebreaker. Obviously, it can’t be too insulting. The only reason you’re saying it’s more effective in a familiar relationship is because you wanna have the upper hand by having gained some info about the girl you can use against her.

        I say, if this is indeed the case (using information you gained about a woman to use against her), then it’s a dangerous game to play. You don’t want to come off as domineering and overbearing, instead of dominant. The neg should be constructive criticism to bring her down to reality, not something meant to hurt her feelings and destroy her confidence and her self-esteem. Are you trying to destroy a woman, or are you trying to mold her, protect her, and/or set her straight?
        .

        Regarding indifference, true; it has “the exact equivalent of a “neg,” However, it should be used sparingly, because prolonged indifference is more hurtful to a woman than anything else, insult wise. Too much of it, and you destroy her confidence (she doesn’t know if you find her attractive or not, ever), or if she has high self-esteem before she met you, the relationship leaves much to be desired and she turns cold.
        .

        I say too much neggig, insulting, indifference, etc… on the male part is him trying to calm down his own insecurities at having a hot woman on his arm. So unless you want to be thought of as insecure and needing to bring her down so low to feel good about yourself, deliver it sparingly, sharply as opposed to sloppily, and save it for when it’s warranted and when you can effect some positive change in her; not just to be mean and insult to feel good about yourself. When you deliver it appropriately, a woman will most definitely appreciate it and even crave it. It denotes you are dominant, as well as you care about her.

        Besides, who wants to be in a relationship with a low self-esteem low self-worth woman; a wounded female that you can’t put together again? Those women turn psycho, druggie, lesbian, or unbearable. It’s like men that date only average-looking girls because they don’t think they can keep a hot GF. It’s beta. If you’re a high-value man, your woman should also be high value, looks-wise and confidence-wise, so long as it doesn’t mean she’s making your life miserable of course, which at that point you can always pump and dump. Although, a woman that excites you with her craziness could be fun at times, and a woman who is always down to earth could be boring. So I say, it’s a balance between the two. She’s a bit of a handful, but also down to earth when it’s appropriate and needed. A girl’s personality should have texture and color, not be consistently gray.

        Like


      • There are a lot of female commenters in this comment section talking about the favorite subject of all females: themselves.

        Like


      • “How would YaReally neg her then?”

        I wouldn’t. Like was said, you don’t neg average girls. It’s overkill.

        “She wants criticism from someone she trusts won’t bullshit her”

        Translation: “Girls of the Chateau, understand that you’re supposed to be attracted to me when I’m blunt and rude to you on here…this is GAME, don’t you girls get it?! Why aren’t you sucking my dick??” I’m certain your game works on internet girls like feministx, but other guys are shooting for higher than ending up like Mark Minter lol

        Like


      • C’mon, YaReally. You just insulted Kate soooo badly. What’s with you?

        Between Minter and Kate, I think Kate is a better catch.

        Like


      • How would you neg YaReally? I wouldn’t. He’ll just shit all over you.

        😉

        Like


      • Who will watch the watchers?

        Like


      • I don’t know, but someone stole the playdough!

        Like


      • He said he shit.

        Like


      • Aye, formulaic is the correct term. Say what you would to an ugly chick you have known for years, conversationally, and you’ll do fine. Treat her like you’d treat any other person in a bar and don’t over think it. Negs seem to me to be used by a lot of guys to get over their own insecurities around really hot women. If you walk in the door knowing that everybody there is your drinking buddy and relax and have a great time, you get the chicks.

        I’ve negged chicks, but never with thinking “we’ll, she’ a HB 9, I must apply two negs to throw her off balance, the proceed to comfort building” or however the Formula goes. Basically I do it because it’s fun conversation and end of the day, as I’ve said elsewhere, she’s the same on the inside as everybody else.

        Like


      • “It seems like the “backhanded” part of the “backhanded compliment” is more about reminding the gamer approaching the ten that she is not a perfect flawless goddess, there’s nothing to be nervous about because she has insecurities just like he does, and it’s best to get that out there as a way to keep himself from falling under her spell.”

        Women have lots of insecurities over their looks, that much is true. Certain men hone in on those insecurities like a laser beam. It’s usually the controlling, dominant, manly types that get good at identifying a girl’s anxieties. It’s their way of making the woman vulnerable, because it’s much easier for a man to fall in love with a vulnerable woman than it is with a woman that isn’t stung by him and still wants his approval, love, and support. It’s a dominating tactic. The challenge for a woman is to take the criticism (so long as they are not mean-spirited and meant to destroy her emotionally) and not spit out nastiness, or become bitchy over them. As bitchiness and nastiness don’t translate into vulnerability; just instigate hateful fights that sometimes are irreversible.
        .
        “She doesn’t want to hear about how beautiful she is. She wants to hear about it from someone she respects for being truthful. Everyone else has an ulterior motive. Likewise, she doesn’t want to hear about her flaws from neggers. She wants criticism from someone she trusts won’t bullshit her”

        Well, it’s very important for a woman to be careful whom she listens to. It’s not advisable to take this type of control from just any man. However, a BF/husband who wants the best for her is more trustworthy than a badboy that just wants to pump and dump and uses negs to bring her down to his level. A woman has to be selective in love, as well as from whom to take negs. Negs are a form of control.

        In RP’s case, it was a guy she just met, so there wouldn’t be any trust there. Therefore, she also shouldn’t have taken it too seriously. It wasn’t coming from her lover/BF/hubby or someone she should listen to. However, she was annoyed because she felt he noticed something about her looks, not that he mentioned it to her. She got upset with him for noticing, not for saying. If someone she trusted said that, she would have agreed that she has small tits.

        Like


      • Certain men hone in on those insecurities like a laser beam.

        That would be “home in,” Miss Malaprop.

        I love you anyway. If you were here you’d see the sparkle in my eyes as I delivered the spank. O how I would neg the shit out of you until you were my lil puddle of lachrymose pliancy.

        Matt

        Like


      • No, “hone in” is an alteration of home in. It’s slangish.

        Either way, I love your spanking. Not getting enough of it, though. Trying hard to malapropise or malapropos ……..and still not gettin’ enough.

        Like


      • Fucking terrible. Who SAYS shit like this lol. This is not a neg.

        I think it could be turned into a neg, albeit not a very good one. You’d have to come across as very sincere and excited saying this because betraying any sarcasm would really reveal the insult. Something like “I have to tell you, you have an intriguing physique. You have these super sexy hips that easily make up for your modest breasts. It’s a really unique look.”

        Actually, the more I think about it, the more I like it. I will have to try this one with a chick that needs to be knocked down a few pegs.

        Like


    • ‘“You know, those child-bearing hips of yours almost make up for how small your tits are.”’

      lmao. This is bad, but I kinda like it. Maybe if it were softer….

      “You ever get the feeling your ass and hips are trying to compensate for your boobs? I’m getting that feeling. It’s a good feeling, tho. My dick is always trying to compensate for my height. Cheers.”

      Next time, I will say this to someone in field. I predict initial bombs, but if delivery is nailed….maybe it will be glorious.

      Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 1:08 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Scray, that would be the equivalent of having me walk up to you and say, “Hey there, L’il Napoleon! Where’s your tricorne hat? Just kidding, I like you short guys, as long as you don’t start talking about how good my hair smells. Ha ha. I can tell you like me too. I bet you wanna go up on me. Hey, we can even do it doggy-style if you want; I’ve got a stepstool you can use. Cheers!”

        You’d want to punch me, right? Hell, I want to punch me right now and I’m being hypothetical. Picking on people for shit they can’t help, especially when they’ve done nothing to deserve it…dick move.

        Like


      • “So….we’re on for a stepstool doggy style fuck while I’m wearing a tricorne hat? I’m down,as long as I can keep one hand in m breast pocket the whole time.”

        Why would I want to punch you lol, you’re a girl talking about sexual things to me, a guy, right off the bat…which means you want the D REALLY BAD.

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 1:31 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        I’ll give you this, Scray, you’re bulletproof like the USS Nimitz. Damn funny riposte. But do you at least see my point?

        Like


      • Ya, I just think you’re taking this from a woman’s point of view. And I believe you reacted more to maybe the way he said it/delivered it, than the actual words. If you can say that sort of thing to someone while sub-communicating ‘I’m just messing with you, this is fun, we’re having fun, this is how WE have fun…’ you’re off to a really good start.

        With the girls I’ve gotten with this year, I said some offensive shit to all of them early on to try and establish trust and ‘you can let your guard down around me.’ It’s important. And ya, you usually get there by saying that you’ll cut out their kidneys and leave them in a tub while smiling, or calling them a bitch while laughing. It’s hard to explain….but to me, that’s something different than ‘negging.’

        Like


    • You three or four ladies seem quite clear about what comprises an insult.

      What were the last successful “negs” you each got, and what substantively differentiated them from being insults?

      Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 3:03 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        1. “Look at your SHOES. That just looks painful. Can you even walk in those?”

        He’s implying my choice in footwear is vain and impractical, which, frankly, it is…but this has no cultural stigma attached to it. It also allows me to demonstrate that not only can I walk in them, I can dance.

        2. “Now there’s a 60-cent word if ever I’ve heard one. Have you got one of those word-a-day calendars, or are you just trying to scare me?”

        A backhanded compliment to my intelligence, laced with the implication that I have an ulterior motive in talking to him.

        3. “What is that you’re drinking? Smells like you could strip paint with it.”

        The insult is to my choice in liquor, and thus not directly at me. And it allows me to tease him for not knowing what good Scotch smells like.

        Like


      • You are easily insulted.

        (Need compliment … need compliment …)

        You know, that rapist wit of yours really makes up for how thin your skin is.

        Like


      • on September 12, 2013 at 3:40 pm RappaccinisDaughter

        Ooh, I just remembered this one. I don’t know why it took so long to shake out, because it actually reminded me of this blog.

        Halloween: I’m in costume, wearing a Venetian carnival mask. Just ordered a drink and am standing next to the bar, waiting for the bartender to fix it. There’s a guy sitting about a foot away from me. I can feel that he’s looking at me, so I turn and make eye contact. “Excuse me,” he says, “Would you mind taking that mask off?”

        “Why?” I asked.

        “Because I’m looking at your jawline, and I’ve kind of got a personal theory about women’s jaws, and I want to know if I’m right.”

        And I thought, wonder if he reads CH? And then I thought, Oh, what the hell, all he wants is to see my face, I’ll show him. So I pulled the mask up.

        “Huh,” says he. “You’re actually a lot prettier than I thought you’d be.”

        Like


      • “Huh,” says he. “You’re actually a lot prettier than I thought you’d be.”

        That has the appearance of a neg, but there wasn’t actually anything negative about it. When you really think about it it was a compliment disguised as a neg. It’s just that a takes a while for the realization to kick in.

        I’ll illustrate the principle with a ‘slow-burning’ insult I gave to a girl who’d annoyed me earlier one night. I ran into her group again and she said something clever to which I said, “Hey, so you’re not as drunk as you look.” It took her a while to catch on.

        Like


      • on September 16, 2013 at 7:15 am RappaccinisDaughter

        “That has the appearance of a neg, but there wasn’t really anything negative about it.”

        You think that because you’re not a woman, and nobody places a lot of importance on how you look. When you’re female, the way you parse a statement like that is like this: “Oh, that’s ni…waitaminnit. Prettier than he thought I’d be? How ugly did he think I was going to be? Is he saying I’m pretty, or just that I wouldn’t gag a cat off a gut-barge like he thought I would?”

        But because it’s so sugar-coated, you can’t get mad, not really. Getting offended at that statement will make you come off like a psycho. But you’re curious, now you want to engage with him further and try, at least, to figure out what the hell he meant.

        That’s why that was a great neg.

        Like


      • Last weekend I got, “Hey did your skirt come like that or did you cut it in half?” That one really flipped me out because I’m careful about skirt length. So that guy had me following him around asking, “were you joking?? Do you think it’s too short??” Lol

        Like


      • That’s just clever.

        So you dress like a hooker, Amy? Or were you in Utah?

        Like


      • I don’t get an option 3?

        I don’t live in Utah, so……

        The skirt was shorter than I usually wear. I think this guy probably noticed that I kept tugging it down and messing with it, and he figured I was self-conscious about the length. And he was right.

        Like


      • And you even bothered following him around and asking him what he thought? I would have just given him a smile and walked away. Unless, of course, you were attracted to him in that instant second, which is all it takes to assess hotness.

        Like


      • 2. “Now there’s a 60-cent word if ever I’ve heard one. Have you got one of those word-a-day calendars, or are you just trying to scare me?”

        or are you just trying to impress me works better.

        ALF

        Like


      • You aren’t even neg-worthy haha! Just kidding of course.

        Like


    • “You know, those child-bearing hips of yours almost make up for how small your tits are.” “Gave the guy the finger and told him too fuck off”

      Lesson learnt…. Compliments don’t work.

      S O B

      Like


    • “You know, those child-bearing hips of yours almost make up for how small your tits are.”

      Okay, that’s pretty crude and dumb. I can’t see that “working” on anyone. On the other hand, you don’t know what that guy’s story was. Maybe he was just practicing. When I look back at my life, I can’t help wishing I had been more willing to risk pissing a chick off, even with language as insulting and dumb as this was. Frankly, between 18 and 23 my best pickups were the ones in which I spoke least. I was basically relying on looks. The more I spoke the greater the chance I’d fuck up by being too nice or too boring or too ‘deep’ or too idiotic, all in a bid not to ‘offend’ her by being too sexually explicit. So I’m inclined to encourage guys to neg, neg and neg again as if their lives depended on it. It’s far better than the alternative of being afraid to offend a girl.

      Btw, you shouldn’t conclude that a guy saying you’re sweating a lot finds you unattractive. That’s ridiculous. For all you know he was just trying to spark up a conversation, or was even complimenting you on how hard you were exercising.

      Like


  13. “It does, and though the tactics may strike one as manipulative and even mercenary, they exist in their form only because the sexual nature of women is what it is.”
    ____________________________

    Except women have been gaming men forever and never really questioned the ethics of presenting themselves in such a way as to attract the men that they want (higher quality, of course).

    I’ll give you an experiment – do a Google image search for “Cosmopolitan magazine.” It will return perhaps hundreds of covers of the women’s magazine. Just about every cover has a title to a story the object of which is to understand/manipulate/attract a man, no different in substance than what is discussed here with respect to women.

    Like


  14. I tell a bitch like dis: “Bitch! You without me is like Haaaaaaail Meh-vin without da blue notes–ya *nevah* go platinum!”

    Does that count as a neg or an insult?

    Like


  15. Wow, your hair is beautiful…like Lassie’s.

    Love your eyes…especially the left one.

    Like


  16. A good one: “You’re so pretty I thought you were going to be boring, like pretty girls usually are. You actually have some interesting things to say, sometimes. Good for you!”

    Like


    • More of a Statement of Interest and qualifier than a neg, in that you use a neg up front to take down a bitch-shield, whereas this is more something you’d use to transition from Attraction to Comfort. Like this is for letting her know she’s won (or winning) you over, VS a neg which is more of a challenge of “you still need to do something to win me over”.

      It’s still solid game though. I use this one a LOT, and I say it with sincerity VS patronizing sarcasm because you don’t want to patronize when you’re in comfort/rapport. “You know, at first I thought you were just going to be another ditzy airhead cause you’re hot, but I’m actually having fun talking to you. Not many girls can keep up with me like this. I bet a lot of people judge you based on your looks.”

      Pretty much a done deal from there lol

      Like


  17. 1. Your hair looks shiny, is it a wig? Oh well it looks nice anyway
    2. That’s lovely long hair – are they extensions?
    3. I think your hair would look better up/down
    4. Nice nails – are they acrylic. Oh, well they look good anyway.
    5. Awww, how cute, your nose wiggles when you laugh – look there it goes again !!!
    6. Is that your natural hair colour well its not bad So you changed it to that?
    7. I like your look, beauty is common but you seem like you have character.
    8. You have U shaped teeth.
    9. Well at least you have a nice body
    10. You are nearly as tall as me. I like tall girls. Are those heels 3 or 4 inches ?
    11. You have an “interesting” figure
    12. Did you drink too much last night!
    13. I think I like your left eye best
    14. Your eyeliner has run a bit….go to wipe it off for her
    15. Eww your palms are sweaty
    16. You have some lint on your shirt, here let me get it off
    17. I think I saw you wearing that outfit a few weeks ago
    18. I like that skirt, they are very popular these days
    19. I like that skirt, Ive seen another girl wearing it tonight as well. Is it from topshop?
    20. Those shoes look really comfortable/uncomfortable
    21. Is she always like this
    22. How do you guys hang with this girl
    23. Geez, you must have driven your parents crazy
    24. Solipsistic ego queen (solipsistic is the view that the self is the only reality)
    25. Hello, Im talking, geez
    26. Um, its too early in our relationship for you to be (doing whatever she was doing)
    27. Where is your off button
    28. You look like trouble
    29. You’re bad girls
    30. Were you a dork at school or something
    31. Your kinda cute, like my little sister
    32. Did you parents not give you enough attention as a child ?
    33. God, talking to you even Married with Children sounds nice.
    34. This is why we wont be able to have nice things (if she is clumsy at all)
    35. You look just like my high school maths teacher
    36. How short are you
    37. You’re already back to square one with me
    38. Are you girls tourists or something
    39. You need to get out more often…
    40. I don’t know who your last boyfriend was, but he didn’t spank you enough
    41. I can see you work out…………occasionally
    42. (about her fake tits) Don’t be embarrassed.. Implants will give you buoyancy when you’re swimming. If we were all lost at sea, you’d be the only one to survive.
    43. Wow, that’s a great tan….have you like not washed for a week or something he he
    44. Wow, I reckon with a bit of training you could be a stripper or a pole dancer….how cool would that be
    45. You remind me of my weird ex
    46. You seem way too nice for me……at least say fuck a couple of times so we can get out of the PG rated conversation
    47. Whew – have you guys been having perfume fights or something?
    48. To a girl wearing horizontal stripes – “is it true vertical stripes make you look thin”
    49. I bet you are high maintenance.
    50. Well it was nice to small talk with you.
    51. Oh – you’re one of THOSE
    52. You have a nice act but somewhere in there, is a little girl who just wants to be held and appreciated for who she is.
    53. Nice perfume….is it chanel lolol
    54. Is that an Oompa Loompa bag (because it was bright orange)
    55. I feel like I can talk to you all night……..I cant LISTEN to you though.
    56. You are mischievous
    57. Say she is a brat
    58. Hi Freckles

    Like


    • old and gold, deliver them congruently and they’re good.

      i actually enjoy when a girl excuses herself to the ladies room to say:

      “oh #2? ok cool i’ll be here.”

      not because i think toilet humor is the end-all (it is) or because i like talking about girls crapping, but just because i was drunk and said it once like i would to a guy friend, and it went great. they invariably start denying they’re going to poop. which you can laugh off, tell them to relax, or whatever, but bottom line it gets them on their heels no matter how they’re dressed.

      Like


    • How about this classic for women approaching the wall?

      ‘You look good for your age’

      Game.Set.Match.

      Like


      • As, I use a variation of this from time to time.

        “Oh, you’re (insert her age here)? I had no idea, I thought you were 25. You’re aging really well!”

        Like


  18. 1. Your hair looks shiny, is it a wig? Oh well it looks nice anyway
    2. That’s lovely long hair – are they extensions?
    3. I think your hair would look better up/down
    4. Nice nails – are they acrylic. Oh, well they look good anyway.
    5. Awww, how cute, your nose wiggles when you laugh – look there it goes again !!!
    6. Is that your natural hair colour well its not bad So you changed it to that?
    7. I like your look, beauty is common but you seem like you have character.
    8. You have U shaped teeth.
    9. Well at least you have a nice body
    10. You are nearly as tall as me. I like tall girls. Are those heels 3 or 4 inches?

    Like


    • Is she always this way?

      Like


      • You can dress her up, but you can’t take her anywhere.

        This big list is all solid old-school shit…the actual wording of some of it is kind of socially awkward, but look at the structure of them, not the actual words, and adapt the formula to shit that fits your own style/personality.

        ie – “You are nearly as tall as me. I like tall girls. Are those heels 3 or 4 inches?” might become “You know, ordinarily I’m attracted to tall women, but you, my dear, appear to be cheating. (point down at her shoes and let her fill in the blanks)” or “shit, I THOUGHT you were tall as fuck, but look at those heels. I bet you’re shorter than ME without em. (depending on how much attraction you have, often she’ll take off her shoes to compare heights with you)”

        Same structure of “I like tall girls, but you’re cheating at it, so qualify yourself to me now” but said in different ways.

        Like


      • You know what is funny is you can get away with using these, because they are so old now. I even opened some strippers about 2 months ago with the “who lies more” line and it hooked hard. Good training wheels.

        Like


  19. Common one I use on cashiers is “you like your job, i can tell;” works like a charm.

    Like


    • lol damn that is good one

      Like


    • Nice. I’ve used that one too, but never even thought of it as a neg until now.

      Like


    • More a cold-read and rapport-building than a “neg”, but very solid game nonetheless lol takes you out of the customer frame and right into an “I understand you” Us VS Them frame. Solid.

      Like


      • It does come across as a neg sometimes. I had a girl qualifying hard on this one. It depends right.

        Like


      • depends if its a blatently shit job she is just temporarily working at.
        it would become an insult i you said it to a chick working at maccy d’s tho..
        btw i’m stealing that

        Like


      • Yes that and how much value I have right off the bat, which most day is more than most of the chodes she comes across. Also if she opens me with a question such as what are you doing with those tools? And I say fixing a car or whatever and she says typical male then I respond with that; it’s an IOD and she qualifies. Or if I am giving her my profile, almost anything I say is an IOD.

        Like


      • Steal it, it’s the internet. Steal anything on my blog or anything else I’ve ever written. It’s the Brotherhood Of Men. Live on!

        Like


  20. You have an “interesting” figure
    12. Did you drink too much last night!
    13. I think I like your left eye best
    14. Your eyeliner has run a bit….go to wipe it off for her
    15. Eww your palms are sweaty
    16. You have some lint on your shirt, here let me get it off
    17. I think I saw you wearing that outfit a few weeks ago
    18. I like that skirt, they are very popular these days
    19. I like that skirt, Ive seen another girl wearing it tonight as well. Is it from topshop?
    20. Those shoes look really comfortable/uncomfortable

    Like


  21. If she’s acting bitchy…

    “you’re quite the charmer. I’m swept off my feet.”

    Squint eyes and sly smile while looking directly at her

    Like


    • Solid. Even if she isn’t bitchy, if she just does anything silly or embarrassing, I drop stuff like “wow, you’re really woo’ing me here.” Or “you just made my boner shrivel up into my belly.” etc

      These are all similar to Mystery’s “where’s your off button?” neg in that you’re busting on her actions in a fun way. So good stuff.

      Like


      • @Ya as with everything, calibration is the key. When I first started learning game I tended to “over-game”.

        Now when I can see the girl is getting pissed off or not getting the teasing I don’t apologize it say the following:

        “Wow, so serious.”

        Pause

        Change topics.

        I just did this with a girl I met online who is clearly hot. I started gaming her. She’s bitchy. She’s also 5’7″ So I started calling her “Shorty”.

        Her: I hate that, it’s not nice. I don’t think we’re a match.

        Me; because you’re so short.

        Her: “I’m bitchy”

        Me: Yes, you are afterall a girl.

        It goes into a “I dont’ like how you’re talking to me”>

        Me: You’re a charmer. I’m swept off my feet.

        8 hours later/next day: Her: What do you mean?

        Me: Cocktails would be a good idea

        Her: Are you asking me out?

        Me: Do you need a translation? Then I send a photo of a cocktail.

        We set it up.

        Too many negs and it freaks them out. Too few and you’re supplicating.

        Anyway, this text exchange lead to a confirmation of a meet up for drinks.

        Like


  22. Ahhh yes the neg. being a bully my entire life to girls I can’t help but neg them all, hot or not. In fact I’ve blown cute girls out of the water by over negging them.

    But yes, the hotter they are the more negging they can take.

    Like


  23. I think the author included nagging so that the article could be seen as gender neutral

    Like


  24. 3 things to keep in mind with Negs:

    1) they’re more about disqualifying yourself from “hitting on her” than they are about trying to hurt/lower her self-esteem…you showing that you aren’t impressed by her has the side effect OF momentarily lowering her self-esteem (“wait why isn’t he hitting on me like the others??”) but the intent behind it is more positive (a challenge of “i’m high value, show me why I should be interested in you”) than negative (“haha feel bad and weak and easy for my low-value self to take advantage of you!!”)

    2) the response to a neg should be LAUGHTER and stuff like an “OMG!! (arm-punch)” or grabbing at you going “noooooo!!!! 😀 :D” etc. NOT hurt feelings. It’s a positive experience for her (“omg someone high-value is calling me out on my shit like my brother and dad do lol”), not a negative one (“this guy is a jerk and is making me feel bad”).

    3) Mystery’s game was designed to hit on strippers, minor celebrities, etc. He wasn’t using a barrage of negs on your “8 at the local bar, 6 in Vegas” average girl. He was using negs on girls with massive value, in the environments where they have their highest value, while surrounded by men with massive value. Game is designed for 8+ girls. It works on <8 girls, but you tone everything down because those girls have a different view of their value. I RARELY meet a girl who legit deserves a 3-neg barrage and I'm in a large city with a lot of hotties. Most girls are friendly as fuck, esp when you have confidence and your sub-communications down…I would have to actively hit strip clubs or fly to an even larger city like LA or Vegas to run into girls who needed to be negged and even THEN most girls probably wouldn't need more than one.

    Anyway, straight from the man himself. You can make fun of his fuzzy hat all you want, but dude knew his shit:

    "A NEG is a qualifier. The girl is FAILING to meet your high expectations. Its not an insult, just a judgment call on your part. The better looking the girl, the more aggressive you must be with using negs.

    a 10 can get 3 negs up front, while an 8 only 1 or 2 over a longer time. You CAN go overboard if they think you are BETTER than them. you can drop the self-esteem right from under them (just like most 10s do to guys) and this isn't good. You have to get as close to the breaking point as you can without crossing the line. Once you have gotten her RIGHT THERE, you can startappreciating things about her (NEVER LOOKS). There is a mutual RESPECT now. Something most guys never get from the girl.

    I believe a burp is an EXCELLENT neg. A neg holds two purposes: 1. to lower the woman's self esteem. 2. to convey lack of interest (which does 1) Burp and don't apologize for it. when she says, "you are a pig", you reply … "you think that? well, my reputation precedes me!" You are actually NOT hitting on her. You are making her feel subconscious and therefore thinking about how she can change your impression of her.
    She will TRY to impress you. But you are so matter of fact that she finds it difficult. Stay playful. If she isn't, be like Rhett Butler: The girl says, "You sir are no GENTLEMAN!!" And he says with a smile "And you ma'am are no LADY :)" So be playful and confident at the same time.
    The less you need others, the more they will be attracted to you. Gain social skills. Communicate with people. Learn how to talk.

    I neg and otherwise are polite for the rest. when she is TESTING me I neg her, then Im polite again. She quickly realizes she gets more attention from me by being nice to me – and this gives her the opportunity to get her self-esteem back after the little neg put downs. You get a 10 through her EGO issues.

    "An HB is there surrounded by friends. She has put on this BITCH act. Is she REALLY a bitch? Unlikely. All my girlfriends were wonderful human beings – beautiful people have it easier because they are beautiful and often times have better upbringings because of it. BUT – they need to have a standard with which to uphold when all these NOBODY guys approach her. So her values are very honed and understood. When a man walks up and says, "can I buy you a beer?" she WILL be annoyed by this. While the guy thinks he's doing something nice for her, she gets this ALL the time. She is desensitized to this. You are the 8th guy TODAY! So she is very good at brushing all these guys off. Shit, she HAS to be… she isn't going to sleep with ALL of them! So she may say NO or act annoyed and then the guy thinks she's a bitch and walks off pissed and feeling like a failure. And that seems to work. Sometimes when the girl is particularly in a feeling of control (like in a club where she is PREPARED for the barrage of men – it IS after all something that occurs so often that when it is GONE she MISSES it) she will accept the beer and then flake the guy off. Hey, the guys are stupid enough to buy her one, she might as well take it. When they take a beer from you, the girl is saying to you, "I don't know you and I don't care about you. You are just another one of those typical guys and since I don't respect you, Ill take the beer from you before I snub you."

    Since an HB is so GOOD at snuffing your approach (nothing ever personal either – it is a strategy that is built over years of stupid guys approaches EVERY FUCKING DAY, she will do the same to YOU. That is why SNUFFING THEM is important. You cant INSULT them because they are used to all the hurt guys INSULTING them ("ahh you are nothing but a bitch!") so this rolls off their back like water off a muskrats ass. How do you SNUFF them withOUT INSULTING them? Well, let's say she has long nails which are most likely fake. Now why do 10s dress so FINE if they don't want the attention? Because they LOVE the feeling of control sometimes. They are in a club with friends and they want to be the leader of the circle (social hierarchy in primates) and so she gets all the attention. The guys come and buy drinks for them and she gets off on knocking the guys down. Its all in a days play. OK, so she is wearing fake nails to look even BETTER! Most guys will say, "wow you are so beautiful!" BORING, typical and in her mind by now (after years of the same shit) TRUE. Imagine a guy comes along and says "nice nails. are they real??" she will have to concede, "no. acrylic." and he says (like he didn't notice it was a put down "oh. (pause) well I guess they still LOOK good." Then he turns his back to her. What does this do to her? Well, he didn't treat her like shit and INSULT her. He complimented her but the result was to target her insecurity. She thinks, "IM HOT IM BEAUTIFUL (especially in that emotional state of control as in the public)… but I didn't win this guy over. IM SO GOOD at this. ILL just fix that little smear on my image that he has of me." then you continue to show disinterest in her looks as you give her a neutral topic like the Elvis script. During this her intention is to get you to become like all the other guys so she can feel in control and snuff you and you then give her another NEG like this … " is that a hair piece? well, its neat… what do you call this hairstyle? The waffle? :)" Smile and look at her to show her you are sincerely being funny and not insulting. You are pleasant but disinterested in her beauty. This will intrigue her because she KNOWS guys. And this isn't normal. You must have really high taste, or be used to girls or be married or something. These questions make her CURIOUS. So this keeps happening and is known as FLIRTING. She give you little neg hits and these tests are qualifiers. You pass them by neg hitting her back. After all, you aren't like the others showing interest. But… why? To get control again she says, "will you buy me a drink?" notice how she is trying to get you now! BUT, she only wants to sucker you in enough so she can SNUFF you. That is all she is about – this strategy is all she knows and it's not working for you so she is trying to do damage control on the situation. But at the same time she doesn't quite understand WHY you don't think you are great. After all, her nails ARE fake. You say, " ahhh, that's so funny … you nose moves when you speak…… (pointing and being cute) look there it goes again … its so… quaint … hheeeee look " 😀 She'll say, "ahhh, stoppp!" 🙂 *blush*. Now she is self conscious and having her in this state is where you want her. You have with 3 neg hits successfully created INTEREST (curiosity) and removed her from her pedestal (removed her bitch shield.) You were humorous, you had a smile, you dress well, you are confident and everything she would want in a man.

    You didn't take her shit. OH, and when she asked you for a beer, you said, " no. I don't buy girls drinks. but you can buy ME one". You are qualifying HER now. If she buys you a beer, this is symbolic of her RESPECT for you. If not you say, "pleasure meeting you" and turn your back to her again. DON'T walk away, just turn your back. You are neg hitting them again just when they thought she was negging YOU. That is teasing each other. That is the first step to flirting. This is all textbook psychology."

    Like


    • i have my moments with game (i.e. after 3 pints of guiness, couple of vodka redbulls and coronas with tequila shots in between) but most of my neg/teasing revolves around shit girls feel concious about.
      for example i’m giving away secrets here but if she’s wearing a grey dress, i lift her arm up and check for sweatpatches. if she has them, tease her on making a massive error wearing grey in the summer, if she doesnt have it then still make a point about the grey but come up with some other way of teasing her like she left a patch of armpit hair unshaved. etc etc
      works for me.. but even tho i sound like i know my shit i still get approach anxiety after a long day at work and no drinks. but once i’m in there i dont do too badly

      Like


  25. Date negs:
    “Whoa, slow down, lush!”
    “Eat that any faster and you might lose a finger!”
    “We’re a cute couple.You look like my cousin and this is a desperation date.” (WHOSE desperation?)
    “I bet you work hard to get the world to kiss your ass. Make it worth my while, and I just might.”

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    • “Whoa, slow down, lush!”

      Solid teasing. Esp after she’s just done something silly/goofy/retarded. I use “aaaaand you’re cut off” and slide her drink away or cover the top of it, in the same way. This is more teasing than a neg because there’s not really a compliment involved in it, but it’s GOOD teasing.

      “Eat that any faster and you might lose a finger!”

      ehhh this is mostly just an insult. On a 10 it might be good, or like, if she’s knowingly wolfing down food quickly out of nerves etc. but this one is playing with fire on average girls who are already self-conscious about their weight and eating habits.

      “We’re a cute couple.You look like my cousin and this is a desperation date.” (WHOSE desperation?)

      A liiiiiittle bit try-hard but not bad…with a super hot 10, it might be solid because they need a few burns in a row, but again anything an 8 or lower and you’re going to come off as trying too hard to burn her…which she’ll forgive if she’s already attracted to you, but it would be in spite of saying this, not because of it.

      Didn’t catch the “whose desperation” part lol I completely just assumed it would be me giving the girl a pity date because I’m cocky lol. Ya, a hot girl could read into that that she’s the one pity-dating you. So this could go either way, overly cocky or overly self-depreciating, depending on how she views your guys’ value (if she sees you as higher value she’ll assume you meant she’s the pity date, if she sees her as higher value she’ll assume the reverse)

      Either way I’d follow it up with something asap lol

      “I bet you work hard to get the world to kiss your ass. Make it worth my while, and I just might.”

      lol. If you have ridiculously super high value to her AND she’s super cocky like a 9+, and you have the right amount of asshole vibe, this could work. Anything less than a 9, or too soon in the pickup before you have enough value to her, and you’re playing with fire.

      Like


      • I am married, but these always worked for me when dating. As for “insulting” them, I always let “negging” (we called it “teasing” before the science of PU started to be codified by Ross Jeffries et. al.) act as a “winnowing” tool. Was she too sensitive to handle a bit of poking? Night ends early and I go listen to music with friends. I dodge a bullet! (That’s why first dates are always cheap or, even better, DUTCH). She stick around? Then she was relaxed enough to make a decent date. My wife was the queen of being playful with neg…which made me fall in love with her.

        And one doesn’t need to be an asshole to tease women. If they want to be datable, they have to be friendly…and if they want to be friendly, they have to partake in the give-and-take of being involved with a male, just like men have to be patient (once they get serious) with some female bullshit.

        I see negging as the male version of crying for no reason. You wanna date men? Then learn to deal, toots.

        “I saw those boots on some chick in the mall and thought they’d be ugly on everybody like they were on her…but you make them work.” If she hangs her ego on her SHOES, then that will crush her. Do you want to date any girl–even a 10–who’s that retarded? If it just knocks her back a bit and makes her be human, then you’re both better off knowing.

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      • “I always let “negging” act as a “winnowing” tool. Was she too sensitive to handle a bit of poking? Night ends early and I go listen to music with friends. I dodge a bullet! (That’s why first dates are always cheap or, even better, DUTCH). She stick around? Then she was relaxed enough to make a decent date.”

        lol that makes sense then. Even just understanding this mentality of abundance (not caring about the date), screening (testing her sensitive she is), not supplicating (Dutch dates), etc…especially back before everyone started doing this stuff, odds are you oozed high-value to girls. VS a nerdy guy trying to learn pickup who’s sub-communications are all awkward and low-value trying the same lines.

        Like I say, your stuff sounds good in very specific circumstances (like really hot confident girls, you having high value, etc) so I’m glad you described a bit of follow-up on your dating mentality here. I wouldn’t recommend it for newbies hitting on <8 girls is all lol

        And quite frankly every guy should strive to go on dates with the mindset you described lol it'll do way more for them than learning to ask if a girl's nails are real. But we're shaping guys into alphas, so that'll come naturally down the road when these training wheels come off.

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      • One thing beautiful women have taught me: act like you care about them and they’ll ditch you like a cold dog turd. Treat them like someone else’s piss on a toilet seat and they will say things like (direct quote): “I’m going to have a bad time tonight unless you let me suck your dick.”

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  26. Dude you are so fun to read. I see why the feminists hate you lol.

    Thanks for the reference.

    Like


  27. Allow me to act as your humble game archivist.

    Here, as printed in the the New York Times Sunday Style (!) section of January 25, 2004, is Neil Strauss defining the neg:

    The “neg,” for example is [Mystery’s] invention. Neither a compliment nor an insult, a neg holds two purposes: to momentarily lower a woman’s self-esteem and to suggest an intriguing disinterest. (“Nice nails. Are they real? No? Oh, they look nice anyway.”) Mystery cautions online however, that negging is only used for exceptionally beautiful women used to a steady stream of compliments.

    Printed in the Cathedral’s alumni bulletin TEN years ago.

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  28. I find it difficult to distinguish the difference between negs and insult sometimes. I think I have been negged, but maybe I have just been insulted.

    One man I know was feeding some cats, I said to him “that is so sweet you love animals”. and he said to me “yes i love animals-thats why i love you”

    ‘Your nails are nice-are they fake”

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  29. After you begin a conversation with an HB9+…twitch your face and dart your eyes away a few times………….then offer her a breath mint.

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  30. Here’s one where I wasn’t sure if it was meant as an insult, neg, or maybe just inadvertent? A guy tells me that he no longer dates really beautiful supermodel types because they’re so boring… less attractive women are better company and easier to deal with. Since we were out on a date, the obvious implication was that I’m in the latter category. Lol

    I thought it was funny (in a good way) so I’m not sure if it was meant as a neg or not.

    Like


    • This is a classic. I have used it. It’s a classic “smack and rub.” No, you aren’t as pretty as you think, lady, but you’re not an idiot.

      Like


      • Except I am as pretty as I think, which is why I found it funny. I know I don’t look like a supermodel, but I do well, so who cares. It doesn’t crush me that I’m not the most beautiful girl in the world. Obviously he thought I was hot or he wouldn’t have asked me out. I thought he was high value. It didn’ t surprise me that he’ d been out with models.

        I figured he was probably used to talking to super-vain 9-10s and it was a neg that “went wrong” only because I didn’t experience enough insecurity with it.

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      • You’re still mentioning it.

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      • Lol, because discussing the topic made me think of it. Like I said, I thought it was funny, which is not really what a neg is intended to do. Compare that with the short skirt neg I mentioned above. That one worked perfectly on me; the guy got the exactly the reaction he wanted.

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      • Actually I’m a bit intrigued about what you look like, from a technical perspective. Ever see Who framed Roger Rabbit? The chick shown from behind in silhouette that looks like Jessica Rabbit (hot) but turns around and is clearly OMG Run! material (“It’s uh maaaaaan!”). I always think of that scene when I see a girl I think might be attractive from behind. Hollywood has ruined me, heh.

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    • Jesus. So much face palm.

      This is a really badly applied combo of a DHV and attempted neg but 1) the guy probably wasn’t high-value enough to pull off the DHV and just sounds silly/try-hard, and 2) the neg is kind of harsh for a 6-8 girl

      Points to him for the subtlety tho, how he lets YOU fill in the blanks that he’s accidentally/obliviously implying you’re not very hot lol. That’s how a neg works. If he said “I’m so glad you’re not hot, blah blah”, that’s an insult and try-hard.

      The line “nice nails, are they real?” leaves the girl to fill in “does he think fake nails are BAD? Does he LIKE them?” It’s hamster fuel and before she can decide he’s already moved on in the conversation or back-turned.

      This guy’s neg was the same in that he’s letting your hamster to “wait did he just imply…does he even realize he just called me ugly?? does–“

      Like


      • I think it’s really harsh for a 6 and risky for a 7 or 8. But doesn’t self-esteem come into play? I’d guess the hard negs work best on girls with shaky self esteem.

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      • No, I think the opposite, although self-esteem is not one-dimensional.

        There are what’s called “brittle defenses”– when someone is rather insecure but they try to shield it with rigid defenses against any “disrespect” ( a common term used by the lowest, criminal classes as an excuse for mayhem).

        Someone who is used to being treated well ( upper-middle class) will have received criticism which has been generally valid and considered, while lower classes may have been kicked around no matter what they did, and thus developed a reactive, smash-the-other-cheel defensive style.

        The neg is to bring down inflated defenses,

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      • This. Negs are for high self-esteem, not low self-esteem.

        You can joke around with your skinny friend about “McDonald’s again? You fatass lol”. You can’t do that with your fat friend.

        This is why we don’t Neg 6s, because the odds of a 6 having super high self-esteem are lower than a 10, so as a general rule it’s best to just assume that.

        BUT, if you DO run into a 6 who fully believes she’s a 10 and is cocky as fuck, then ya, neg away. Or if you meet a 10 who’s super humble/insecure, don’t neg her.

        The girl’s perception of her value (which can be influenced by her own experiences, her environment (shithole small-town bar VS Vegas nightclub, the people around her, etc) IS more important than her objective rating men would give her, buuuuuut most of the time a girls self-perception aligns with the rating men would give her, within a point or two, so we teach it as “don’t neg a 6, neg a 10 three times”

        Figuring out which type of girl she is comes from field experience and learning social calibration and reading people. You can say “well she might be putting on a front pretending to be high self-esteem when she’s not” but field experience teaches you to see thru that and/or test/screen for it.

        Like


      • “You can joke around with your skinny friend about “McDonald’s again? You fatass lol”. You can’t do that with your fat friend.”

        Right, but I guess my point is that your skinny friend is going to just laugh at that comment, vs. feeling off-balance or insecure, because she KNOWS she’s skinny. Calling her a fatass doesn’t bother her because she has high self-esteem and knows it’s not true.

        If a guy negs me by suggesting I’m not as hot as a supermodel, his goal (I guess) is to make me feel like I’m not that attractive to him. But I know it isn’t true because why then would he even ask me out? Plus I agree I’m not as hot as a supermodel, so it’s not really a crush to my ego.

        Maybe negs work best on girls who are fundamentally insecure, but put on a cocky front.

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      • “Plus I agree I’m not as hot as a supermodel, so it’s not really a crush to my ego.”

        That’s why you calibrate it to the girl and her values. You’re like a 6-7, so it’s silly to neg you saying you’re not a supermodel because you likely don’t think you are. If you thought and acted like you were a hot-shit 10, then it would work because it’s poking at something you put value in. A guy using a supermodel neg on you would be using negs in an uncalibrated and thus ineffective way.

        Like I wrote to a dude up above, a neg in a California nightclub might be about looks, but a neg in a bar in corporate DC might be about her education or career choice. If I neg you about your education, but you don’t value your education, then it won’t do anything…but if you pride yourself on it, it will.

        It works moreso if you’re high self-esteem because you’re proud of it and everyone else in your life understands that it’s an impressive thing, so when you meet a high-value guy who isn’t impressed by it, the instinctive initial response is “what? No no he must just not understand, he didn’t get the memo that this is impressive! I’ll try to convince him so that he falls in line with the rest of my world who understands that it’s impressive!”

        This is all shit that happens in just a few seconds of an interaction and plays off instincts, not logical thought, so reading it broken down like you might think “that’s not how I’d respond”, but, well, you’re a girl and girls don’t really understand their instincts so…lol

        Like


  31. I like the example above of a neg being more of a (dis)qualifier than an insult or a tease- it’s connected to keeping the right frame.

    Re the routines and lists referenced above, I have always thought that the Mystery/Style routines and negs in the Game were highly adapted to the cultural microclimate of the Sunset Strip and the strippers and wannabe celebrities who hang out there, as referenced above. Those girls are dumb, shallow and Hollywood-gorgeous as a rule, so those are the elements to work with. In DC, for example, the hot girl at the bar may be a well-educated grad of Yale law school and have a prestigious job- so (assuming she isn’t the stereotypical femcunt lawyer and is worth approaching) if you asked her about her fake nails or said something idiotic like, “Do you think spells work?” she’d laugh or walk away.

    WIth that kind of thing in mind, I think Game is stronger when it sticks to basic psychological principles, and will fail more often when it is too tightly tied to scripts and routines and fixed procedures.

    Indidentally, though this may be due to the microclimate I live in, intelligence and knowledge of the world is a serious DHV to the right kind of woman. Being able to read her and read the signs is the key. Sometimes a swoop will never involve a neg at all.

    Like


    • “WIth that kind of thing in mind, I think Game is stronger when it sticks to basic psychological principles, and will fail more often when it is too tightly tied to scripts and routines and fixed procedures.”

      This. It’s an art-form based around principles. It’s not the words “who lies more men or women?” that work, it’s the concept of “ask an open-ended question about gender dynamics to start a conversation, instead of a boring yes/no question” that works.

      I’m mind-blown when I hear people still using old-school routines word for word. Like really? You’ve been in the game X years and still haven’t come up with your own shit based on the principles? Use your brain lol

      With the Ivy VS Hollywood thing, it’s just calibrating to what the girl sees as valuable. ie – in Hollywood negging her nails or hair works because those are valuable to her. In an Ivy area negging her choice of degree or her knowledge of the world or lack of travel experience would work better, even tho the same neg concept is behind both scenarios.

      Same time if you ran into an Ivy chick who was dolled up and is always dolled up, that’s a girl who negging her appearance would work on.

      A shit-ton of game is just about calibration and reading people quickly and learning their values and personalities and adapting your game to that…and you can only get good at that thru field experience.

      Like


      • Regarding routines I am going to share mine for the dance floor (when not dancing).

        I usually sit beside a girl back to the bar and facing the dancers (latin) and approach directly with: “Who’d you pick as the best dancer?” or “Which couple is more connected while dancing?” Then a little teasing about her being too critical (which woman isnt that?) … Move to: “Do you know it’s been said that better dancers are better lovers? My experience tell me it’s right. Would you agree?” … Ask her to dance with you as soon as the next song starts. If the previous song has not ended continue teasing her about imagining that couple (or that guy, girl … the worst dancers you spot) in bed

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      • of course it works better when you are a great dancer and her hamster starts spinning while you dance

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    • My tendency is toward reductionism, boiling things down so that I can file them away and easily access them later.

      If you feel lucky to be with a girl you’re seeing/pickingup, then your game with her is probably weak. If you feel like she’s lucky to be seen with you then your game with her will take care of itself.

      This doesn’t mean anyone should lower their standards that’s what the irrational over-confidence is for.

      Most of the finer details and minutia can be folded away if you develop a strong grasp of the basics

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      • The point of game is to learn what attitude and behaviors you naturally have around ugly women so that you can do the same thing around hot women.

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      • It really is that simple. It’s rather funny that it has become some kind of Revealed Truth thing honestly. My rule of thumb has always been advice my grandpa gave me when I was a teen and crushed hard by a chick.

        “Son, don’t pay it too much mind, end of the day they’re all the same on the inside.”

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      • The problem I see with that is that I tend to become so uninterested in ugly women that I become either uninterested in hot (i.e: she will have to approach me cause I’m high value) or try-hard (oneitis style)

        It’s not that I’m scared of approaching. Heck, I’ve approached fully naked in a nude beach to a girl reading 50 Shades of Grey to ask her about the book (it was just a test I set for myself to see if I could move out of the comfort zone and make it)

        The thing is I don’t see why I should approach when their value is overinflated and even a 6 (who thinks is an 8) is gonna feel entitled to much better.

        Any concrete advice?

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      • She thinks she is an 8 because idiot drooling guys treat her like it. Treat her like a 3 who just happens to be standing beside you, or like some random dude. I guess just don’t give a flying f*ck, as in, really don’t give one. She’s a six with entitlement issues, that’s just not something anybody should have time for or entertain. Her entitlement issues are hers to own, not yours, don’t assume responsibility for how other men have pedestalized her.

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  32. Please explain the Cathedral/Illuminati influence of this. http://www.theatlanticwire.com/global/2013/09/vladimir-putin-writes-op-ed-new-york-times/69324/

    I’m serious. I don’t really understand the whole Putin thing. The last line about equality is Cathedral bs. Does Putin have a gun to his head like the POTUS does?

    Like


    • Russia certainly wasn’t treating Georgia like an equal when it invaded, or when it cyberattacked Estonia, or for that matter when it leveled Grozny not once but twice. no UN consensus on those. Furthermore, western colaitions of the willing have gone around the UN against Russia’s wishes more than once, in Iraq and Serbia/Kosovo. It’s a tactic to try to restrain the U.S. from doing what it (Semingly) wants to do. The real story here, of course, is the outrageous incompetence, indecision, and weakness of Obama, Kerry and team. Makes “leading from behind” look decisive.

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      • Good observation.

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      • You Maurice go more with the yellow pages more than the facts. I was at the time when Georgia – Russia started in Moscow and all the western agencies reported Georgia attacking Abchasia. Only when the word came from above, they changed the storyline. Chechnya is a shithole between muslim and christian worlds, that Putin is keeping quiet by sending loads of money into, that Khadyrov calls Allah’s money. Think of it like having Tijuana within the US territory. And yes, Putin took Obama to the cleaners during the last couple of the days, about time somebody does it.

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    • If you get the gist of Mystery’s negs though, you can easily devise one for ‘a DC-type woman who is a well-educated grad of Yale law school [that has] a prestigious job’, for instance you might say:

      “You know, I can tell you are a really dedicated, hard-working professional…I really respect people like that…my dad was one, and I really looked up to him.”

      Like


      • > “a DC-type woman who is a well-educated grad of Yale law school”

        You know, it’s funny, I have a high school classmate who is a Yale Law grad, and who works in DC, and I saw her recently, and I tried to get it up for her, as far as a little teasing and negging and good-hearted jostling are concerned, if for no other reason than that I simply felt sorry for her.

        But I just couldn’t do it.

        Too much darkness in her heart.

        Compare the crazy dark Catwoman Jap Goth Chick, in the electrical aisle at Lowes, as above.

        I need to sense just a little basic human warmth in my womynz.

        Whereas if I see The Darkness in a chick, it’s like they’re dead to me.

        I dunno – maybe I could invent something like “Evangelical Game”, where I try to pull the Dark Chicks back from the heart of the [heartless] abyss.

        But I don’t know if I want to go there.

        It kinda gets back to my theory of Calvin’s predestinationism as a forerunner of Darwin’s genetic selectionism: Some people just don’t seem to have “It”.

        Whatever “It” is.

        Like


      • > “It”

        Where I’m taking the opposite point of view from Stephen King.

        Like


    • Isn’t the “Illuminati” a rock band? Oh wait, that’s the Lumineers. Can you give me some sources on those Illuminati? I heard they’re friends of the Frankfurters.

      Like


  33. lzzolzozlzlzlzolo TWO degrees in women’s studies thinks we are in a “bro dominated culture” lzzlzolzlzlzo

    http://muckrack.com/AzmatZahra/bio

    incidentally she’s a 10 would bang

    Like


  34. We should all remember that females are exquisitely tuned to recognize “negs” because they get those from other females on a daily basis.
    So a neg has to be subtle enough for not her to notice.

    Like


  35. on September 12, 2013 at 2:21 pm Subarctic Hillbilly

    Long-time lurker, first-time troll …

    In the 20-plus years since my first red-pill dawn, game has improved my life in every way. Unfortunately, it took soul-crushing amounts of heavy lifting to get out from under the beta-burden of two expensive divorces, getting publicly and professionally humiliated as a direct result of trying to be a nice guy, and enduring suicidal misery before the flow of pussy juice became a soaking shower of rainbow-rain that shines through every aspect of my life.

    Because I’m a tall, rather good-looking fellow, I grew up thinking my particular brand of earnest, poems-and-flowers white-knightery was the cotton-candy stuffing of all hot girls’ dreams. And I stumbled into just enough accidental hotness to warm my undersexed loins and keep me from straying too far off the Disney path.

    Then about divorce no. 2 the pain began to rain down around me — needles of ineptitude and frustration, until a natural friend bitch-slapped me, gave me a few demonstrations, and things started to turn around. The fact that he had a blocky head and was only 5’7″ and yet got more ass than a toilet seat gave him enormous credibility. And an interesting thing happened; by lowering my expectations of women’s behavior, my appreciation has begun a steady rise. I love women more now than ever.

    Two recent examples from this past week …

    1. Wandering around a party with my very hot, sweet-natured girlfriend, I saw two girls from my extended social circle, a very cute tall mulatto (a high-yeller for you racists mofos,) and a gorgeous blonde I’ve had a crush on for years, having an intimate moment. My former self would have edged around politely, waiting for an opening, then, if not ignored, made boring small talk. (That’s if I would have said anything – years ago I would have thought these girls out of my league). The new me walked right into their confab and said brightly, “$10 if you two make out!” They proceeded to do so with great enthusiasm! The rest of the night, with their buying temperatures high, they couldn’t stop touching me. I would have never been able to read the signs if not for what I’ve learned here, and other places.

    But what was most telling of the new me was my response to my girlfriend’s hurt and concern. “How about if I went around offering guys money to make out?” Me: “That’d be awesome! But with guys, you’ll have to offer at least $20.” Still hurt, on the way home, she said, “Please don’t do that anymore.” I ignored her for a few moments, then said, “Listen, girls just want to have fun. And they rely on guys like me to show them how.” She sulked a bit longer, and I resisted my fierce urge to placate. The results: she devoured me sexually – could not get enough – I got even more dominating than usual, and she drenched the bed sheets. I wonder if she ever made the connection between her arousal and my alpha aplomb.

    2. An industry conference about 100 attendees in a conference room, mostly older men (like me, except even older), with about 25 women. Only two were bangable. One, however, was easily one of the dozen most exquisitely beautiful women I’d ever seen in my life – early 30s, tall, curvy Russian, the kind of carmel-y blonde you just know tastes like butterscotch bubblegum. Usually, I’d be way too intimidated around a girl like that to do anything but contort my face into the pained rictus that serves as a nervous smile. Instead, I immediately began teasing her off-handedly. “Why are sitting all by yourself? Have you been a bad girl?” “You’re from Siberia? All the Siberian girls I know have been nothing but trouble. (Then, under my breath, as if to myself; “I love trouble.”) She was sparkling, we eye-flirted for hours.

    It got really interesting. When we broke up into groups. Out of the 99 places they could have sat, the other bangable broad, late 30s, great figure, bit of a trashy (but sexy) mouth, probably a 7, sat next to me. Then the Siberian marvel sashayed in from the ladies, and took the other seat next to me. It was partly strategy on my – I picked the open seat nearest the main flow of traffic, and partly manly charisma – I didn’t shower after a morning of vigorous sex, so fumes of pussy and testosterone wafted off me. Didn’t care one whit that I had a bit of man-funk about me – a big step from my former fastidious self. Poked fun of both girls. They had candy-colored painted nails. “How come I didn’t get that memo? Hot pink and lime green? I could have done one foot each! (Lifted up my $500 shoes – guys, invest in good shoes and keep them shined. They last 20 years or more and chicks notice such things.)

    I looked over at the Siberian beauty, and found myself wanting to sperg out and impress her with my knowledge of her particular oblast, and how the sable furs there are so sleek and rich, and worth $400 each or more (I ran several traplines when I was a teen and know way more about fur-bearing animals than any normal man should), and blah blah eye-glazing blah.

    Instead, within a slow, sexy blink of my eye, I looked at her sleek, well-tapered heels (Jimmy Choos) and said, “Are those from Siberia? Whadda they for? Punching holes through frozen water buckets?” (Hardly the stuff of Noel Coward – but infinitely better than the try-hard know-it-allness of my former self)

    By this time, both hotties were fighting for my attention – hair-twirling, eyes shining, any excuse to touch me. With my new social-awareness skills (this stuff can be learned), I could see that it was becoming quite noticeable to the rest of the group that we had abandoned them to the delicate, eternal dance of flirting and attraction. Two hot girls were vying for my attention. And I wasn’t even really trying – it just happens. And yet it doesn’t just happen. As YaReally points out so frequently; these shifts of awareness are the result of much hard work. But with enough perseverance, all the crash-and-burns add up to amused mastery. It took me vastly longer to learn this stuff than it should, and I’m every day in danger of beta back-sliding.

    The most important lesson I’ve learned is to never stop gaming. Never! I’ve got three girls in regular rotation (one just out of her teens, who adores me), former lovers who drop in and out, and at least a two dozen girls who have me on their radar. Just this past week, I’ve added four new girls to my long-game roster.

    Life is so much better on this side.

    Like


  36. Take note

    Met a cutie about 3 weeks ago at a social circle function. Shes a tight 7.5 face near 9 body. About 23 yrs old. I see her with a girl I know at the bar and get her number. We chit chat for a bit and then I leave

    We do a bit of texty texty during the week. I see her at a event on sunday…we do more chat…a bit of kino….

    I text her on Monday and say lets hang out on Thursday night
    She said she needs to focus on some test and cant be distracted
    I push a bit more and play with her saying it will be a good distraction
    so she sends me “tell you what. Ill keep you updated on my progress. Fair?”
    Which I immediately read as pre-flake language. I don’t even respond to that specific question…we banter a bit more and say good night

    Fast forward and its Thursday. No texts from either person. No word from her on Thursday which I in no way expected there to be a meeting tonight anyway.

    Old me would have said something regarding this evening. The new me? Will message her on Monday or Tuesday of next week with something retarded, even if I message her at all. Flakey girls like this that don’t respect your time are retarded and I can see her colors from now. Just rendered herself in the P&D box. Amazing how quick I can see the difference between high quality girl vs average quality (lowered bar post feminist world girl)

    Like


    • Or maybe she simply had… a test to focus on? Chill out dude, not everyone in the world is out to screw you.

      Like


      • The test is not for several weeks. Just DLV on her part, attention whoring but doesn’t have the decency to let me know hey man I’m busy tonight.

        Pretty simple, actually.

        Like


      • You said you did not respond directly to ““tell you what. Ill keep you updated on my progress. Fair?””, how can you blame her for not getting back to you.

        All in all, you seemed pretty invested in a girl you just met.

        Like


      • The only reason I did get bothered is because I expected better behavior from this woman. On paper, everything lines up. Great family as her parents have a solid reputation, strong middle class upbringing, went to a good undergrad and comes from my culture (Greek). Lesson learned: lower expectations until proven otherwise.

        Like


      • This isn’t uncommon female behavior, regardless of “quality”.

        Like


      • @sad clown,

        not true. I’ve dated enough women and know that a good percentage of them have the respect to give some common courtesy.

        Like


      • I have noticed that nearly all girls who should have degrees and careers already at their age are always still I’m school stressing out about tests. LplololZzzozz.

        Like


      • i will admit that when I heard she was studying for her LSAT it was a turnoff. Thats a bunch of prime years going to get wasted in lolzkool

        Like


  37. Great stuff, man. Thanks.

    Like


  38. […] A neg is only successful if the feeling of confusion and self-doubt it creates is sufficiently disavowable by the speaker. That is, a good neg should, as the author of the article linking the relevant study wrote, “leave the speaker blameless”. Straight up insults don’t leave the speaker of the insult blameless for any temporary bad feelings it causes in the listener. But negs do. A proper neg is like …read more […]

    Like


  39. CH that stuff you posted on your twitter about roids just now,don’t do it.

    I am not going to go into details but we don’t want to see guys at 23 with dilatational cardiomyopathies dying from HF.I’ve seen it.

    Like


  40. So I met this girl the other night at a bar and I’m new to the game. I probably shouldn’t learn with these cold bitches in Manhattan but that’s where I am. I’m a 5’8, fit guy with a decent income. But decent doesn’t cut it in this city. I used to have bad acne in high school. I don’t have it anymore but still have scars. (People used to call me crater face.) You can’t really see them in the dark, I think. I don’t know. I always blamed it with my bad luck with women. But since becoming game-aware, I have hope that it won’t hold me back anymore. Anyway, saw this hot girl, completely out of my league. I didn’t have the courage to approach her (she was hanging out with another girlfriend all night). But then the girlfriend goes to the bathroom and I got a burst of something and went for it. When I got close, I got nervous and I forgot the opening I had planned. So I blurted something about how it must be nice to have such small breasts because you can get away with wearing tight shirts. I thought that was a pretty good last minute neg. She turned around, cold as hell, but she smiled and said “I’m not only a member, I’m the President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee” I had no fucking idea how to respond. Then she patted my arm and said “you can do better than that. I asked the last guy I dated whether I should get implants. He told me a better question would’ve been to ask him whether he would pay for my implants. I gave him head that night. Keep trying though” I don’t know how to understand that. Did I do something right or did I just totally fuck it up? Was she just weird? Thanks man.

    Like


    • I don’t like it when women write these cringe-worthy fantasy posts.

      Like


      • On the off chance that this is a genuine comment, the rule is – when in doubt Agree and Ampify.

        “I’m not only a member, I’m the President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee”

        Well you would have defininately got my vote.

        “I asked the last guy I dated whether I should get implants. He told me a better question would’ve been to ask him whether he would pay for my implants.”

        So you guys are no longer together?

        Never be phased by anything they say. Remember your a Man and they’re just toys for you to play with.

        Like


      • OT: n/a, i finally found some time and got around to reading miami blues and the shark-infested custard. there was something simple and profound about the narrative style and attention to seemingly insignificant details. this is not a slight. simple is a good thing that that many writers do not know how to do. one of the things that i thought was so effective about willeford’s writing style is how he is somehow able to avoid seeming “dated” even though he writes about time-specific branding (i.e., early 80s, late 70s, etc). instead of feeling like i was reading a book “from another era,” i actually found myself immersed in that era; like i was a time-traveler and willeford was taking me along for a ride through a decadent and violent Miami circa 1984. the stakes are high and the internal machinations of the characters were all-too-human and realistic, even though (especially because) their decisions, choices, and reactions are typically of the “life-and-death” variety.

        in any event, terrific recommendation. thank you.

        Like


      • You’re very welcome.–

        Your comment about Willeford’s details is sharply observed — when Willeford serves up an ice-cold *Tab* it tastes good because, unlike inferior writers who rely on rhetoric and abstraction to generate a passion that is absent, Willeford loves the world he is in and relishes its gritty particulars. Nothing is faked and there is no need to drum up emotion through the false heightening of an exaggerated and gussied style. He writes clearly and that’s a precious gift to the reader: many intelligent men are disheartened over time precisely because they lose the world, the world as it is, and drown in that mere tertiary echo of experience stupidly glorified as the world of ideas.

        TS Eliot’s comment that Henry James “had a mind so fine no idea could violate it” suits Willeford to a T, and I hope you’ll read the rest of this writer’s work. Willeford was a *genius* and that word has a tough time getting out of my mouth.–

        Like


    • That girl was weird. It probably wouldn’t work, but you could had a bit of a puzzled look on your face, and said, “Are you offering me a blow job?”. If she wants to talk like a whore, she can get treated like one.

      Like


    • “He told me a better question would’ve been to ask him whether he would pay for my implants. I gave him head that night. Keep trying though”

      I love it here. Must be the only city/town where the girls boast about sucking dicks!

      Agree and Amplify

      If she continued I would have been very very tempted to add:

      So I guess if a guy pays for your nose job he gets to fuck you in the ass?

      ALF

      Like


  41. I was having icecream with a date, and I looked down at her feet in her flip-flops. I paused and said, “You actually have very normal looking feet”

    She instantly started wiggling her toes and started to laugh because she thought it was such an odd complement, when all I said was they were normal looking. My tone came across like I had solved a great mystery, or had an “epiphany”

    I think in her head, she must be thinking my last girl had really horrible feet.

    Her feet were in fact just average, but the moral here was. If I said “Boy you have really pretty feet, I think id be dead in the water with an awkward moment.

    Like


    • Further evidence in the comment section:
      “Sex is great! However, there is more to a marriage than great sex. The best sex I’ve ever had was with a man who would make an AWFUL father and husband. And he has the track record to prove it all these years later. Happy I made a better choice with a caring and industrious family man. Our lives have been very comfortable and stable. He is a wonderful father and faithful husband. It means WAY more than great sex in the long run.”

      DO U SEE

      Like


    • “After surveying 2,000 women, researchers not only found that most women didn’t end up married to the men who gave them the best sex of their lives, but 66 percent of them would prefer to read a book, watch a movie, or take a nap than have sex with their husbands. ”

      Fuck everything about marriage.

      Like


    • As far as screening women for marriage, I recommend ones that wear old-fashioned flower-patterned house dresses. They are the most depraved, and the ones that will say stuff like “Hurt me Daddy!” and “Give me a baby!”, and complain “You didn’t tie me up tightly enough….”

      Girls that dress sexy and slutty YELL at you during sex, “Fuck me!” It’s sad they are unaware how much they’ve lost their femininity, and think a woman that sounds like a drill sergeant is sexy.

      Just thought I’d comment on that.

      Like


      • There is a huge difference between a woman yelling ‘fuck me’ and a woman raspily whispering it into your ear. ….

        hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng.

        Like


      • > “As far as screening women for marriage… “Give me a baby!””

        The one and only purpose of marrying a woman is to make babies with her.

        Why would any man even dream of “marrying” some witch who hated children?

        Scrawny manjaw femcunt Womynz Studiez major, with the A-Cups and the [faint but noticeable] upper lip moustache, dressed in “The Little Black Cocktail-Party Dress”, who hates children.

        Versus big voluptuous D-Cup Pharmacy/SpeechTherapy/Music major, in “The Flower-Patterned House Dress”, who loves children, and who, in the throes of passion, screams out “Give me a baby!”

        Any fellow who makes the wrong choice in that scenario deserves the living hell which awaits him.

        Like


      • We will start a run on floppy house dresses for women who want genius men.

        This makes me think of another good screening. Talk about how you cooked something great, then off hand ask if she likes cooking. Sour faces deserve spinsterhood. Screening for liking to cook surreptitiously detects. patience, low thrill seeking, low level of wanting to be pampered, high level of willingness to pamper, and a love of nurturing.

        Wouldn’t you rather have an aging club rat or bitter academic spinster instead?

        Like


    • Normally ice would be forming in hell the day I quote Maureen Dowd, but she hit the nail on the head when she said, “Men are worried that women who can think critically will use that capacity to think critically of them.”

      Take note, ladies. Being a nag will take 5 points off your SMV. “Pleasant” in a woman is to “charming” in a man.

      Like


    • Yep it’s the fact that she’s “brainy” that is putting the Men off. Couldn’t possibly be her resemblance to Boris Karloff in a dress

      Like


  42. but in all srsly, how much time can we really spend debating the variations and science behind bitches give up dat azz when you play disinterested and humorously condescending

    Like


  43. Is it not a case of lowering her self-esteem as much as trying to show her you’re a high- (or at least higher- than her) status male? Those who are Nice Guys are around good-looking women have no trouble being dismissive to a woman If she was bad-looking. He would generally ignore her and might even give a “LJBF” speech if she tried to hit on onto him.

    Like


  44. saw a facebook status recently from a girl I know that said “Sorry, negging doesn’t work on me. Your PUA handbook was wrong.” and it made me cringe.

    be willing to bet that whatever she thought was a neg was actually an insult.

    Like


  45. I notice when I’m in a good mood I’ll smile, point my finger in a kind of wagging, halfhearted way, and say:

    What kind of a(n) x is that?

    e.g.

    what kind of a shirt is that?

    what kind of a little dog is that?

    what kind of a phone is that?

    I don’t know if these are negs or not, but they tend to amuse both parties.

    Like


  46. I like to tell ancient stories of the out-of-control good old days of sex, drugs and Rock & Roll to the 30 year old I am with. She will say something like, “That cannot of happened. No WAY!! How did you fuck your bible teacher on top of a life-guard stand at church camp???

    She is now a fish in a barrel.
    So you say…
    “Such an innocent girl from the suburbs you are. Dont ever change…” as you check out the hotter girls in the room.

    Like


  47. […] Valued commenter chris alerts the CH readership to ♥another study♥ vindicating a game technique, this time the notorious, and notoriously misunderstood, seduction tactic known as the neg.  […]

    Like


  48. Delivered a great neg to a girl yesterday, didn’t even think about just came right out, clearly reading all of CH has set in.

    She was dressed like a 1950s pin up girl, but a lot more conservatively due to the particular occasion, and when she mentioned she was into all that and her whole look was a homage to Bettie Page, I said:

    “Oh, so this (pointing at her) is deliberate”

    Very subtle, and very effective.

    Like


  49. I need some advice from experienced men.
    I sent CH this e-mail

    “Hello,

    I will keep it short. I need your help and experience on this.
    I date a girl for 6 months now, I am 23 she is 21 I was her first sexual partner. Now, some info on her

    – She is shy about sex
    – She has many male friends and some female friends
    – She initiates contact most of the time if not all
    – She starts crying the moment she thinks I m about to break up with her
    – She agreed many times to use no condom
    – She copies my attitude sometimes. For example, if I respond to her texts 4, 7 hours later she does the same.
    – She is a 6-7
    About me, I am dominant in the relationship but for the last month or more I showed my beta side and noticed she turned cocky many times. I almost never ask her out she does that and whines because I act aloof. Your 16 commandments helped me a lot and clear some things out for me. But I do not have the experience to handle the study abroad and Long Distance Relationship. I got access on her facebook account (without her knowing) and read lots of flirty messages with males, also she initiated contact with 2 guys who live in the city she will go.
    The thing is she applied to study abroad for 6 months when we met, she got accepted and she left 400 km away for 2 months (July August) to work and gather money to study abroad. I visited her 2 times. She is back now for 2 weeks and leaves for abroad in 10 days. I m looking for a relationship now so I decided not to break up with her at summer. Yesterday I asked her why she goes there, she responded after a pause that she wants to see how its there and that she needs a specific subject that the university here does not have. She said “I can’t compromise my future because I will regret it if I stay here and our relationship doesn’t work” then she cried and tried to get a definite answer from me (a reader of your blog commented that girls need a closure) if I want to stay on a LDR, to take a break or to break up permanently. I said “I want to stay with you” but I lied (showed with my expressions that I may lie) that night I haven’t see her so wet for some time and used no condom and your “Dread” post came on my mind.
    I have come up with these options
    – Stay with her until she leaves and then go “no contact” until she comes back. I keep her on facebook.
    – Tell her to take a break 2 days before she leaves and see how things are when she comes back.
    What I want is to keep her as an option and to be able to date her and fuck her often after she comes back. I would like a relationship with her but she has obviously bitch potential in her. How do I achieve that? keep the attraction on me from her while she is there? how should I act for the last 10 days what to do when she leaves?
    I am really curious of your advice and how you would act, can’t wait for your insight.
    You can use the content of this e-mail in a blog post.”

    Additional info
    I m not familiar with the dating value but she is above 6 or 7
    She leaves in 4 days for 4 months and I can’t figure out how to handle it so I can keep her as an option when she comes back.
    I don’t understand it, she cries if she feels I m about to leave her but still decides to go abroad and expecting me to stay around.

    Like


    • Girls get a lot of pressure from feminism. She may think she needs to accomplish something on her own, have a degree, etc. rather than getting in a relationship now.

      What is your situation financially wise? Could you potentially take care of yourself and her now or in a close future?

      Like


      • She knows I have a career plan and working on it. Until December I will be able to do that.
        Should I take a break with her or just keep it with rare contact?

        Like


  50. The most effective negs are the ones that get her to anticipate a complement that never quite arrives.

    When the inevitable question arises about what you do for a living I like to spin it around on them by saying that I can tell anybody’s occupation by just looking at their hands. Take her hand give it a good thoughtful inspection and then say. Hmmm you’re definitely creative…pause…do you work in the constructin industry? Delivered with a cherub like innocence

    CC

    Like


  51. All the conversation about negs made me think of one occasion where I had set up a date 90 km away from my city with a solid 8.

    How I met her was pretty interesting. A friend and I attended a gathering where we saw this girl but didn’t talk to her. Some months later we found an aerial picture of the event where around 1000 people gathered and saw the girl in the picture and started asking friends and friends of friends while we codenamed her.

    Finally I found her on facebook and opened with: “CODENAME! What a story. Such a long time thinking you were called CODENAME and now I see you are not. What a deception. I’ll explain some other day as it’s getting late”

    She got interested about how, when, who … etc. And then we set up the date.

    As I am a member of grammar police (in my language of course) I noticed she didn’t write quite well and I teased her about that on our online conversations.
    Of course this girl had all the guys she wished and I was driving to meet her so I thought I need something to let her down a bit.

    After the date went quite good I told her to come with me to my car for a present: and I gave her one of this booklets where you are taught how to write properly designed for kids around 5,6 years old.

    I’m still lol’ing at her face. I didn’t get anything out of it. We lost contact when I moved abroad and she was toying guys up and down but two years later she appears again online writing to me and using CODENAME and remembering the booklet for writing

    Negs are permanent!

    Like


  52. Spot the insults from the genuine negs:

    I love a girl with a sense of humour. Do you know any?

    You have beautiful eyes. Especially the one on the right . Look, even the one on the left cant stop looking at it!

    You have a lovely grin.

    You know, the one thing I really like about you? Your perfume. It’s really nice what is it?

    You have lovely lips… well the bottom one at least, can’t really see the top one. It’s there anyway you could just…ah never mind

    Nice shoes. People don’t realise how important the right footwear is to the average girl.

    ALF

    Like


  53. Favorite neg (so far) during a conversation about my har: “You have a face for bangs.” HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

    Like


    • Oh, good grief. Hair!

      Like


    • > “You have a face for bangs.”

      Please tell me you that didn’t give up the booty for a jackass like that.

      Please.

      Like


      • It was so funny because he sincerely meant he thought it would be a good style for me, but suggesting anything that covers up a third of one’s face implies the face isn’t that great to look at! Adding in a third possible meaning makes it a many-layered remark 🙂

        Like


      • > “he sincerely meant he thought it would be a good style for me”

        Oh.

        Okay.

        White Knight.

        > “suggesting anything that covers up a third of one’s face implies the face isn’t that great to look at”

        Right.

        That’s what I thought that he had meant.

        And if he had meant that, then my point was going to be that there is a certain degree of cruelty in a man which you simply must not tolerate.

        Don’t give up the booty to a phreaking sadist.

        Make sure your man has just a little kindness in his heart.

        Like


      • It so refreshing that people like you and peterike don’t read the tabloids 🙂

        Regarding sadism, its easy for people to take their game knowledge too far. They get a taste of success and then start leading people around by the nose for their own enjoyment. Its, hopefully, a short-lived stage. I admit to having gotten a bit full of myself once in a while when dealing with rather clueless souls on dating sites. But, eventually, I learned to be more gracious in my handling of them.

        I absolutely agree that kindness is super important. If its devoid either the person is overgaming and doesn’t realize the merit of showing kindness- even humanity- from time to time, or they have sociopathic tendencies. I’ve met both types in the past. It can be very hard for women lacking self-esteem to leave either of these types alone as they feel it necessary to “prove” themselves or “change” the guy.

        So, yes, a man who is authentic, equally capable of being kind, as well as a hard ass when necessary, is the golden mean 🙂

        Like


      • You ladies are always going for the gold, eh? 😉

        Like


      • That sounds like a dig! 🙂

        Like


      • I dig you baby, you know that. 😉

        Like


      • Stop trying to steal Neecy from me! We are having a very important discussion about legwarmers!!! The fate of many legs hang in the balance!

        Like


      • Pretty confident I can handle my two best bitches at one time.–

        Like


  54. […] A neg is only successful if the feeling of confusion and self-doubt it creates is sufficiently disav… […]

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  55. on September 13, 2013 at 10:37 am Sharpie the cassanova

    I have a knack for dropping precise negs like a guided missile.

    http://.youtube.com/watch?v=8t86nFaM8sU

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  56. The CH is becoming so didactic…

    “It does, and though the tactics may strike one as manipulative and even mercenary, they exist in their form only because the sexual nature of women is what it is.”

    such regard for explaining the idea in a racional and unbiased terms, for the delight of the newcomers who leave the blog after reading three lines of harsh truths

    What a Dedicated Teacher

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  57. My boyfriend negs me all the time. He likes it when i’m insecure and pouty. He thinks it’s cute….I personally not used to being negged, but i’m addicted to how he treats me. No man has ever negged me before. What a weird rush of confusing emotions. Still learning all these “alpha male tendencies”.

    Like


    • > “My boyfriend negs me all the time.”

      At the risk of sounding like a feminazi – Good God, woman, where is your self-respect?

      You’re setting yourself up to be miserable for the rest of your life.

      PS: Let me clarify.

      What I’m worried about here is the qualifier “ALL THE TIME”.

      Do you really wanna live with that shit for the rest of your life?

      “ALL THE TIME”?!?

      PPS: And if you do really wanna live with that shit for the rest of your life, then here’s a followup question: Are your parents divorced?

      Cause a girl who had a father in her life shouldn’t want to be negged “ALL THE TIME”.

      Here and there, maybe, just a little playful teasing now and then.

      But “ALL THE TIME”?

      That’s some phreaking sado-masochistic shit that you’re describing there.

      Like


      • I don’t think those are “alpha male” tendencies, if he does it ALL the time..maybe insecure man tendencies? A relationship must have balance, and yours doesn’t sound very balanced. Teasing is different, that can be fun, but you need to feel love too. If he is always horrible to you and never nice, I think it is better for you to examine your relationship.. and think about your future, time passes fast, and before you will know, wasted years have gone, spent with a man who “negs” you constantly. I know I wouldn’t be able to handle such a situation, my self-esteem would be in shreds. I hope you can find a balance in your relationship.

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  58. on September 14, 2013 at 6:29 am Contra Misogyny

    Just because something works doesn’t mean you have to use it. Otherwise you’re the moral equivalent of the Assad regime in Syria.

    I think a better approach is to give an original complement. Something she hasn’t heard before.

    I read an article on the huffinfton post once by a model/actress saying how all quality women are sick of players and just want to meet nice guys. So don’t give in to cynicism and just be yourself

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    • Your analogy would hold if, after Assad used chemical weapons, his enemies became his allies and demanded that he use more chemical weapons on them.

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    • “Just because something works doesn’t mean you have to use it”

      “I think a better approach is to give an original complement.”

      “I read huffington post”

      “Just be your self”

      Nice try cupcake. Now run along Men are talking here.

      ALF

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    • > “the moral equivalent of the Assad regime in Syria”

      Joo.

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    • “Just because something works doesn’t mean you have to use it”

      “I think a better approach is to give an original complement”

      “I read an article on the huffinfton post”

      “just be yourself”

      Nice try cupcake. Now run along Men are talking here.

      ALF

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    • Expert level troll.

      Like


  59. Of course the neg works, but it’s branded as something that doesn’t simply to devalue mystery….

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  60. In many countries, as used to be the case in this one, they put the youngest prettiest women at the front desk. Here they put somebody cast out of diversity central (black, female, bad jewelry).

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  61. http://www.shitmybfsays.com/ ..,and she’ll love you for negging her 😉

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  62. To a short-haired feminist:

    “I have so much respect for you as a cancer survivor!”

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  63. So it looks like we’re all agreed, negging is very useful skill that every man should attempt to master.

    The only down side seems to be that during the learning stages, a few women are going to get insulted.

    (I say down side)

    ALF

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  64. […] Study: The Neg Works – (~_^) – @heartiste. […]

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