Your Brother’s Wife Is Cheating. What Do You Do?

Padawan125 needs the assistance of the CH readership on no less a problem than salvation of his brother’s soul.

CH and readers, need your help here. I always find the BOTM [beta of the month] stories hilarious. However, it’s not hilarious when your own brother deserves his own BOTM story. I don’t know how to shake him out of his beta-ness and I need help.

My brother has been married for 5 years with kids. I have always questioned his decisions and wanting to marry her but have been “supportive”…as in keeping my opinions to myself. Although recently, his wife pushed me over the edge. It was recently revealed that she has been cheating on him for 2+ years. The texts that she sent her lover was revealed to my entire family. She has no respect for my brother and openly despises him. Even admitting in text that she couldn’t divorce him yet because she wanted to wait to get more money out the deal. Her cheating even brings into question the true paternity of his youngest child.

When this was all revealed my brother approached me for help in getting a divorce. Somehow, less than three months later, he changed his mind and is now back with his wife. Nothing that I do or say has swayed his decision. I have tried the following approaches:
–Shamed him for not being a man, lacking balls, and allowing his wife to have all power and how his wife has openly insulted him in front of everyone.
–Tried to bribe him by telling him to come live with me, quit work, and I would support him until his mind was back on track.
–Told him how accepting her back was him saying to her and everyone that it is ok for people to treat him with disrespect.
–It sets a bad example for his kids showing them that they have a weak father.
–etc, etc, etc

I cannot even look at my brother anymore and want nothing to do with him or his wife. My parents are urging me to “support him and his decisions” because “life is too short.” I am sick to my stomach and want to repeatedly punch him in the face to wake him up.

What do I do here? I want to believe that he is not a lost cause and there is something that I can do to help him grow a pair. Do I continue to ignore him and focus on my own life? I don’t want to lose my brother, but at the same time I cannot bring myself to interact with him.

“Life is too short”, like its cousin aphorism “live and let live”, are the ritardando notes of the powerless feeb. Yes, life is too short…. to live under the heel of a bitchy cheating whore wife.

Unfortunately, Padawan125, there is no easy solution to your brother’s crisis of the id. He is in that sad masochistic zone that all men who feel like they have no options in the mate market occupy, nursing the dying embers of his self-worth. Impenetrable layers of misery rationalization bunkers protect his bruised ego, and there isn’t much psychology of persuasion magic that’ll bust through.

Except for one thing…

The love of another woman.

Or at least her welcoming vagina.

Spend some time on the town with your brother (minus the wife of course). Insinuate the teachings of Game into your conversation. Get him flirting with any woman at least as attractive as his wife. If you feel the urgency of your brother’s situation demands rule-bending, then invite (or pay off) a cute pivot to accompany both of you on a night out. Be sure to allay your brother’s beta-reflex concerns and inform him that your girl guest is your “friend”. What he doesn’t know is that you instructed your friend to shamelessly flirt with him.

The strategy is to get your brother believing in his sexual market worth again. If he senses that other women are a real possibility, then those ego bunkers will start to crumble, and he’ll slowly pull away from his shrike wife. If he can get a kiss close with a cutie on one of those “bros’ nights out”, his nuptial breakaway is practically assured.

Godspeed, because you are doing the Lord’s work. “which lord?” Come now, let’s not spoil the moment with nagging technicalities.


  1. Men who are not fathers cannot understand what the brother is going through. Divorce means the kids will suffer.

    Is Padawan a father? Both his meddling and CH’s advice smell of the advice of non-fathers. The solution is not to go kiss or fuck another woman while the (young, right?) kids are at home. Unless it’s for “dread” and the plan is to get the wife back in line.

    Non-fathers cannot conceive of the love and concern the (beta) father has for his kids. This entire scenario was caused by feminism. The pain and suffering that has been inflicted on women, children, and men by feminism is immeasurable.

    What the brother should do is reclaim his manhood but not divorce the wife. Just start fucking her brains out to “punish” her, which is all she wants.

    Or, is the brother a fat pasty slob? We don’t have details. What was her criticism of him. Does he have bad breath and bad grooming habits and he smells and sucks in bed while being a pasty dough boy?

    If so, get in shape and start fucking the wife and being the man of the house.

    Does the wife work or have the ability to work?

    Divorce is beyond brutal when only one income must support two rents (yes, after divorce they will be renters), two cell phones, two cables, two netflixes, two sets of clothes for kids at each house, two sets of bedroom furniture for kids at both houses, two computers, one for each house, for kids, etc.

    Who suffers are the kids. They get a life with literally half of what they should have had, except time with their father–that they get 28.5% of what they should have had.

    If the brother is headed for divorce, advise him to spend as much time with his kids as he possibly can, while he can, before they are taken from him 73% of the time, along with 50% of his money, which will making finding a new woman that much more difficult, other than flings that will not erase his pain from missing his children and worrying about them.

    My children died. Every night. It’s safe to say. You can quote me on that.

    That is a true statement to any divorced father who is not allowed to be there to protect his kids every night.

    From the kids’ perspective, it goes like this: My father died. Every night. It’s safe to say. You can quote me on that.



    • Your Brother’s Wife Is Cheating. What Do You Do?

      Da GBFM: It isn’t cheaztingz if you swallowzlzlzlozlzozozooz omgz zlzozozoozozozoz


      • Keep your advice to yourself, unless your brother asks for it. He has to want to be helped. You can’t do it for him.

        If he ever figures this out, he needs to consult with a good divorce lawyer and private detective. Act like nothing is wrong until you get the goods on her. Try to get proof that she’s doing drugs or hanging out with druggies/dealers. Plant evidence if you must. This information may allow you to divorce her and get custody of the kids.

        Maybe you can even avoid alimony. Why the fuck not? Women are supposed to be equals, so the bitch can support herself.

        You are in a war. Find a way to win.


    • you’re right on a lot of this re kids, but he’s got just the one life. and they are not likely going to grow up particularly well with an unhappy couple and pussified dad in the house anyway. if he chooses to sacrifice it all for kids (maybe his) then that’s that. i still think the only way he’ll regain his balls around the house is about 3 years of serious extramarital sex but i doubt he’ll be up for it if he decides to stay


      • “and they are not likely going to grow up particularly well with an unhappy couple and pussified dad in the house anyway.”

        exactly right. a separated home is far better than raising kids with a bad example of married life. people blame divorce for damage to kids but in most cases it’s not the divorce that did the damage, it’s the two idiots who made a life together that shouldn’t have. they are bad together and bad apart.

        at least with the parents separating, the kids have a chance to learn about being healthy and maybe about what a healthy relationship can look like. two people staying together when they shoudn’t just grooms kids for a future just a dismal as their parents had.


      • Divorce is not worth it unless you get custody of the kids. But, keep in mind, his brother is heading for a divorce anyway. The only question is, is it on the brother’s timetable or the wife’s?

        Get a divorce attorney and a private detective but do not confront her until you get the goods.

        Also, paternity test your kids. If they are not your kids, then you can sever the bond without guilt.


      • “the only way he’ll regain his balls around the house is about 3 years of serious extramarital sex but i doubt he’ll be up for it if he decides to stay”

        he may get his balls back to some extent. but to what end? so he can keep her? so he can continue supporting her financially and emotionally? so she will have him as her lover and protector even though she doesn’t deserve it?

        despite the fact that it is a terrible waste of his own life, that’s a terrible message to send to the kids.

        having balls would mean serious extramarital sex and NOT staying. or just leaving outright instead of settling for occasional side action when he should have a devoted, loving woman every stinking day.

        staying with her is akin to acceptance of her shoddy treatment. it’s telling her and the kids that he will accept being treated poorly by a woman. no way around it, no matter how much power you gain back in the relationship, she will always remember that you were weak enough to keep her. that isn’t having balls in the home. that’s cowardice and weakness.


    • Been through it, like you. And you’re completely right about the kids.

      With a divorce there is a real danger that she will bring a train of loser men into her life – to play father to them, and eventually leave. If he sacrifices himself for their sake he is a hero.

      Getting another woman is no problem at all. Women who bring income into the house are easier and easier to get. And the financial problems eventually work themselves out if you don’t get stuck with lifetime alimony.


      • No kidding. My brother’s first wife had a non-stop string of ‘flavor of the month’ boyfriend’s coming over to her place to bang her (and his young daughter was in the room next door with a pillow over her head so she wouldn’t have to listen) 😦


      • Getting another woman? Other women AREN’T into raising another woman’s kids. You might have heard about that. Total non-starter


      • “If he sacrifices himself for their sake he is a hero.”

        no. he will be a martyr. not a hero.

        staying with a woman for the sake of the kids is not going to earn respect. they may feel comforted having dad there but they will see and feel the dysfunction and they will pity him once they are old enough to see what it is really going on.

        even if she doesn’t cheat and she is a wretched ungrateful shrew, they will understand that he is allowing a woman to disrespect him and take advantage of him. no way is that a good way to raise children if you want them to be strong and healthy enough to have good lives in adulthood.


      • @Dan: After my divorce, for the few years until I got married again, there were many women who wanted to come live in my house and help raise my children. Every woman I dated was hoping I would marry her.


      • @Dan

        You are wrong. Women would LOVE to raise another woman’s kids as long as the man gives her one of her own.


    • I disagree. I..and I’m guessing you… have been through the divorce meat grinder.
      He can be a better man and by extension a better father if he punts this skank.
      She intends to dump anyway so he should lawyer up to mitigate the damage and be gone. The kids know something is wrong, they can feel it.

      Be a good bro and don’t give up on him. Hell, I’d go as far as to get him ‘professional ‘ help.


      • If he loves the kids – tell him to go to a lawyer, take the texts, tell the lawyer he wants the kids in his life and the cheating bitch gone. He’s gotta keep his hands clean until the divorce goes through but the texts are pretty good evidence in his favor. Yep, the law is biased against men but if he’d be smart enough to play it right and to be ruthless – and right now while she’s come back, after just admitting in writing that she’s only in it for the money, and needs to stick it out for that reason – he’s got a better than even chance of winning.

        Kids are cool and raising one right is probably the best thing I’m doing in my life right now. But a man’s gotta lead or it makes it real hard on him and on the kids, and sometimes leading means throwing a bad bitch out of the house.


    • No. A hundred times no.

      If he stays, the kids internalize that being a cuck is the way of manhood, that there father is weak, they will internalize that the way their mother treats him is acceptable.

      They will, guaranteed, end up marrying a woman like their mother if he stays.

      The longer he stays there, the more of a shell he will become, the more of a ghost in his own life, the less he will actually give the children emotionally and in the ways that matter. His soul will be hollowed out.

      Seen it. Read the book. Watched it happen in this fallen world more times than I wish to.

      Anyone in that situation needs to get out.

      There is no way to save that marriage. She will leave him.

      Not may.


      So all that talk above is merely getting the divorce delayed for a short time, and the costs are going up.

      She has already said she is just staying to suck more out of him when she does divorce him.

      She is not lying about that.

      She is saying plain as day what she is going to do.

      Again, she will leave, she will screw him over worse and longer the longer it goes,

      She’s slept with another man, there is no fixing that, no getting the love back at that point.

      Part of being a man is realizing that things are going to be a shit sandwich and you cannot protect the ones you love from the evil of others.

      My advice to the brother: tell your brother you love him and you will always be there for him if he needs him and then walk away.

      If he calls, listen to him and be supportive, but stay the fuck away.

      Nothing good is going to come of this.

      And when she continues to betray him, betrays him again, and finally divorces him the pain his brother is going to feel is going to be 10x worse than if he had enough dignity to go.

      And the destruction to those children is going to be worse.


      • on December 2, 2015 at 3:39 am Vagina dominator

        Rhas, you are completely right. There is a train coming through his life and he is talking about going out to lay down on the tracks.


    • Anonymous and Balsac between them are 100% correct. I’ve been there too and I’d cosign every word.

      The only bit Anonymous got wrong was the bit about finding new women post divorce being difficult; if the brother-in-law swallows the red pill it’s ludicrously easy.

      CH’s perspective is correct only if there are no kids in the mix.

      The GBFM is a tool. Piss off mate, adults are talking about adult problems.


    • Jesus H. Christ man. Divorce is the only answer here. It’s a completely untenable situation. I have two boys and I FILED for divorce. Yes, that’s right. (There was no cheating, I just got sick of dealing with a spoiled little bitch.) Now I’m way happier and so are my boys. Yes, it sucks, but when your leg is caught in a trap you either chew it off or you die… Slowly and painfully.


    • You make a lot of great points here, but I don’t know as CH was *necessarily* saying divorce. Getting out from under her power and finding another woman doesn’t mean there needs to be a divorce.

      CH’s advice should be followed to the point where he as dread-gamed some level of respect back from her while playing some “its for the kids game” on keeping *her* from leaving.

      At that point, assuming this guy has sexual options, make it clear to the wife that the monogamous marriage is long gone, she killed it, and what you do in the evenings, on weekends, or whenever you want is not going to be any of her business and she gets no say in it. Put in a policy of “I never meet yours, they NEVER come here, and neither will mine.” She must respect you in front of the kids.

      I think its possible to raise the kids in a semblance of a family that way.

      But staying with the whore and getting none while she is is not an option. Doesn’t help the kids to see that example of ultra-beta in their lives. The boys will grow up terrified of the women whose alters they prostrate before while the girls will become cock hounds. The cycle will then repeat in 2, 3, or 4 other families. Seen it plenty of times. Dad must be around and Dad must be the man.


      • If she is getting some from another man you are not going to get respect from her short of engaging in third world tactics that are illegal.

        You cannot “get out of her power” she has all the power socially and legally. And he’s not starting at zero attraction, he’s at a negative deficit.

        Since we’re going to engage the foolishness of how to try and salvage this marriage here is what his brother has to actually do, as unpalatable as it is:

        1) He needs to seduce her for at least three weeks (this assumes that he was not at the beginning the beta she latched on to and there was some attraction to him). This also assumes she doesn’t have a personality disorder (not a good bet).

        2) Then he needs to move out and other than contact with the children and discussions with the kids, she gets nothing from him emotionally. Not one drop.

        a) he should have some agreement to time with the kids being 50/50 and if he can get her to leave, it would be better in terms of future custody issues.

        3) He does not move back, he does not engage with her until she agrees to absolutely no contact with the boyfriend and she essentially begs him to move in.

        There is a high probability that this will cause a divorce, but that’s coming anyway if he doesn’t do that stuff. Even if she promises not to see the guy, she will break that promise.

        Going out and flirting won’t do it for the husband.

        Women do not care if a guy they’re not attracted to flirts with women, and she’s not attracted to him at this point. She will only interpret that as him being but hurt and vindictive and childish.

        But the longer he stays, the more she will hate him and the more she will try and turn boyfriend into a complete replacement.

        What he cannot do: Rage. Make demands. Beg. Cry.

        Even this will not preserve the marriage long term.

        Once a woman blatantly and openly cheats, its over.

        She has zero respect for him and does not feel anything other than cruel enjoyment from his suffering.

        She will leave him.


      • on December 2, 2015 at 9:27 pm The Other Anonymous

        Consider: What if nobody knew?

        Had Padawan’s brother discovered his wife’s affair and kept it to himself – He’d have far more viable options.

        Like – Liquidate all assets and cash out, max out credit cards, declare bankruptcy, stash coke and a handgun in the wives car and call in an anonymous tip to the cops – Everything from scorched-earth to wait-and-see.

        Instead he aired out his disgrace – and now everyone knows he wears cuckold horns and has a motive. So, the coup de grace will be divorce court – and what matter – he’s abandoned his dignity – creature comforts won’t be any consolation.


    • Dread. The only Game that works in a dead marriage. Go out weekend nights. Been doing that for two years and my marriage is sooo much better.

      It’s really hard on kids to be part of a dead marriage. It teaches so many bad lessons.


    • The kids come first which is why he should divorce. For children, the only thing worse than getting a divorce is the constant fighting. Maybe this guy mistakenly feels that he can avoid conflict by acting like a beta but he would be wrong and his children would have a loser for a role model. Dump the piece of trash.


      • exactly right.

        i said something similar but it got lost in moderation. people think divorce ruins kids but that’s not the whole story. picking the wrong person is what ruins kids. two people who are wrong for each other will do damage whether they are together or apart.

        in most cases people only see the split and blame that for the kid issues. they don’t think about how much worse for the kids it would have been if the parents were still together fighting or just being an example of a loveless failed relationship.

        people who stay in it for the kids when they shouldn’t, just make for kids who grow up and have unhealthy, unhappy lives too.


    • No way is that the only option. I suspected, but was never able to prove my wife’s cheating. It’s what brought me here and to Rollo and the rest of the PUA community.

      I shamelessly and very discreetly started fucking other women on the side and I will continue to do so. Without guilt. It was precisely the one thing that got me out of the “sad masochistic zone that all men who feel like they have no options in the mate market occupy.”

      And today? Marriage is a hell of a lot better as is the sex and the frequency. It was nuclear dread in our household for a long time as I regained some semblance of alphaness. Today the kids are happier, wife is happier and I’m happier. I overheard her tell a friend of hers some time ago that if I was cheating she didn’t want to know.

      That’s all I needed to hear.


    • on December 1, 2015 at 4:14 pm Fuck lazy ass bitches

      As a beta father, your comment rings true. At the end of my life, what will I have to show?

      That I exorcised the demon of an ex wife and still retained my dignity. I made more money than ever, fucked a couple of models and never spent a dime on them. And that’s just 3 years into the divorce decree.

      Do I see my kids as much as I like? Fuck no..but the elements.of game that CH espouses work just as well for kids as they do for women. DHV, be interesting and form deep connections. None of this requires daily contact.

      Be impactful with the time you have. Show no weakness. Accept that the elite have created this system specifically to transfer wealth onto lazy ass bitches and their bastards (sorry kids) and deal with it.

      Don’t let yourself be held hostage by feeeeelings. That’s what they count on.


    • forums. Find THE LIST in the before divorce section. 50% custody is more easily won these days if you follow the right steps.

      I ended up with 50% shared custody, no child support (based on similar incomes) and no spousal support/alimony.


      • Depends on what state you live in. In my state (Mass), 50% never happens unless both parties agree, and this is Planet Mommy here, so that is unlikely, to say the least…


    • on December 1, 2015 at 5:28 pm Bobby Cuddlefuck

      I seem to recall Trav having recently laid out a brilliant plan of attack for a divorce. Recap?


    • The wife will use the children as leverage to divorce rape the husband. The winner in any negotiation is the one willing to walk away, even from your own family:


    • I hear ya, man. But it’s not like she’s just a bitch or downright cunty. She cheated on him for over two years. He shouldn’t be focused on becoming more alpha to save the marriage. It’s over. She violated the sanctity of it and disrespected him in the most egregious way. The children should be his only focus now – not on saving the marriage.


    • Oh, and you suppose the cheating cunt won’t divorce his sorry ass someday? That’s the presumption your entire argument is based on.

      Dude… these kids don’t stand a chance in hell to grow up well UNLESS they see their father regaining his honor, and with might. They MUST respect him.

      I don’t see my kids for more than a few hours a week anyway. Not because I’m divorced, but because I have a business to run. But they LOVE me and worship me. So does their mother, but I’m pretty sure if she acted cunty, they’d not respect her as much anymore.

      Thing about kids is that they grow up. And if they grow up under the shadow of a strong father who may not always be there, they still have a chance of reasoning with first principles when they do.

      But if this brother of padawan stays with the cunt, there’s no guarantee that she won’t initiate the divorce sometime later. Nor will the kids have ANY role model to look up to.

      Fucking cunt ought to be destroyed at least financially. He should stop working, or claim disability or whatever for a while so that she doesn’t get shit from him.


    • I have a comment in mod that essentially says the same thing but not nearly as well. Your children become everything and their well being a measure of your manhood. The brother needs to man up and start using aloof mastery and indifference to his wife combined with extra affection towards his children. She dumps on him because he chases her. He needs to make himself the prize and her the chaser. A good spanking for her is a shortcut to this.


    • I’d say divorce her and face up to rock bottom. I wouldn’t latch on to another girl as a prop and crutch, and I wouldn’t entertain the idea of keeping it together for the kids with a wife/mother like that.


    • If I was to choose between having meaningless baubles and a father I can respect, I’d choose the latter. Heck, given the abundance of today, the father actually doing things with the kids like going camping or whatnot is more important than Netflix. Lol


    • on December 2, 2015 at 8:38 am Mandy been here a while


      My mother cheated on my father and he didn’t leave her. I have always hated her for it. Briefly she left but then came crawling back. My father took care of us while she was gone and never complained despite needing to learn to do things he had no experience with. They are still married decades later. I still hate her and don’t want her around my children. I realize this makes my dad a beta or omega or whatever. But I still love him.


      • “I realize this makes my dad a beta or omega or whatever. But I still love him.”

        you love him sure. but do you respect him? is it awe and admiration you have for your father? or is it pity for a man who chose martyrdom over fatherly duty?

        he didn’t fulfill some of his most important parental obligations. providing you with a good male role model and a decent mother figure.

        if he had left with his pride in tact, and found a better woman, you might have had a chance at getting a mother figure in your life who you could love and respect. hell, even if he didn’t find a better woman, leaving would have least taught a lesson about what kind of woman a man should love and who/what he should not tolerate.

        instead he stayed because he was weak and gave you no example of what a healthy female/male relationship should look like.

        your mom was selfish and didn’t hold up her end of the bargain when it comes to her responsibility as a wife and mother. that’s obvious. but your father isn’t off the hook. he made a bad situation worse by staying.

        he could have been a good strong father who did the right thing by his kids. taught them valuable lessons about life and love. but instead he acted out of his own fear and weakness. that makes him no better than your mother.


    • “Fuck her brains out to “punish her” which is all she wants.”
      I felt sick reading this. What the fuck is wrong with you? Is this Fireproof or some shit where he has to compete for her affection?


      • this made me sick too.

        the post says they were married for five years. she started cheating less than three years in even though she has children with him. sounds to me like a marriage that never should have happened. she wouldn’t even be thinking of cheating that early on unless there was already something wrong with the relationship.

        aside from that, she is not a woman i would even consider trying to win back. and i sure as hell wouldn’t want to touch her again.

        can’t understand how any man could want his lady again after she has chosen over and over again to let him support her, take care of her, be a good husband for her, while in the meantime she is disrespecting him and giving herself willingly to another man.

        [CH: a (perceived) lack of poon options will do that to a man.]


    • This is exactly correct.


  2. Great advice Le Chateau. I would add that the brother should read this article and all of the comments. Stop being a pathetic doormat and show the cheating whore the door brother. Fuck, life is just too short.


  3. on December 1, 2015 at 2:41 pm The Spirit Within

    I almost never advocate P4P to anyone…

    …but this would be the exception. He needs the physical sensation of entering a new vagina, stat. As his brother, you should pay her extra to pretend it was incredible, take his phone number, text him all week afterwards, begging to get together again, don’t worry about money sweetie, etc.

    Don’t try to teach him any game at the moment. He’s too far gone inside his own head. Consider it a physiological shove over the cliff.


  4. been there, very public, etc. and when the girl is the way this one sounds, it’s not going to be easy. she’ll be manipulative in every way, she’ll probably keep cheating, and there will be backslides

    the brother’s doing the right things and heartiste’s recommendations are the only thing for tough cases. the sound of a bosomy brunette in my guest bedroom with my brother was the moment i knew he was out. it’ll be hard but the alternative is effectively losing a brother and simultaneously knowing his life is torture


  5. I would make a fucking mess of angry shouting and shameing them both in front of each other… but i’m from eastern europe


    • I’d bust his head with a baseball bat from behind the shadows as he walks out of his house, but I’m Irish.


      • “I’d bust his head with a baseball bat from behind the shadows as he walks out of his house, but I’m Irish.”

        No problem; I have a hurling stick I can lend you to get the job done.


      • I don’t think I need to tell you what I would do, LOZLLZOLOZLOZLOZLOZLOZLOL


  6. Another issue will be his unwillingness to walk out on his kids (which are probably all under 5 y/o). The protective instincts in men can sometimes override the urge to leave an ex. Best case he may still get 50/50 custody, but in reality it usually pans out much less. My own reluctance to nuke my ex was more to do with the sting of child separation as opposed to vagina separation.

    My advice would be a two pronged attack;

    1. Believing in his sexual market worth again.

    2. Building and implementing a solid game plan to maximize custody & quality time with kids, maintain resources & income streams, and still have the time & energy to Game so as to achieve point 1.


    • Nailed it.


    • This is all assuming he wants the kids – not all men do.

      But if he does……then whoo boy he’s in for a long road. Document *everything* – every indiscretion, every interaction, every salacious text message. Don’t EVER become angry or god forbid, physical with either her or the kids. Get his financial ducks in a row. Do.Not.Cheat.

      If he does these things, he’s got a chance of keeping the kids in his life – if he slips up at all, poof – they’re gone in a cloud of protective service dust.

      Angry ex-wives love nothing better than to make false accusations against the fathers – and good luck trying to prove a negative.


      • re: documenting everything: It doesn’t matter.

        The system is designed to separate you from your kids and to give her half your income. Once you understand that it becomes much easier to deal with. Fighting it only make the deal worse. If you play the game and give them what they want you’re treated better than if you fight it.

        The only way a man can win is if he destroys the wife totally. Otherwise the system looks the other way at everything she does.

        So either the mother is a complete whore and drug addict – in which case it comes out eventually on its own, or you have to make it look like she is, and you would have to deal with the consequences for the children of having that done to their mother.

        The only way to fight the system is outside of court. Work to destroy it politically, to improve society. It won’t benefit you if course, but perhaps it will benefit your children. Also: all divorce lawyers – even your own – are the lowest scum of the earth.


      • Do your homework about divorce laws in your state. Laws vary and it’s hard to give general advice. Do NOT spend money on a lawyer till you have done a lot of research on your own. They are a waste of money- always. I spoke to a rep from a national firm that was supposed to be a “men’s rights” law firm. They gave me an appointment with a female lawyer and when I pressed her about why she worked for them she admitted most of her clients were women and the “men’s rights” thing was mostly just advertising. Rip off!!!

        The only time you want to have one is when you must be represented. It takes a while to come to grips with the fact that absolutely no one truly cares about your situation. Just like we all grew up thinking police officers were going to come rushing to our rescue, you will learn that a lawyer is a necessary evil.

        There can be a curious affection between divorcing spouses, so it is necessary to be firm. If she cheated, he needs to file for fault divorce. Marriage may be temporary, but divorce is forever. So that means, if there are issues in the future over custody, etc. you want it entered into record that she was an adulterer. Don’t let nostalgia you’re feeling now cause you to do things that will bite you down the line.

        Never forget how quickly life can change. The misery one may feel now may be completely gone in five years. Divorce is a curse and an abomination, but you’ve got to play the hand you’re dealt.


      • balsac’s comment is on point. A decent man has a “love” for his ex wife who brought his kids into the world. Real men do what they must to give the best life they can for the kids, and that includes not destroying the mother. The kids love their mother. What a real man does is protect both the kids and the mother from the mother’s non-future-oriented decisions, as best he can. That means doings things like turning down prime HB9 pussy that is throwing itself at you at Friday evening at 7 PM, because it’s time to go get your kids, and you will not disappoint them. That’s one of your two nights with them that week. That includes giving half your money to the ex, so that the kids live in a nice home, while the father drives a beat up old Ford instead of a Benz, which causes him to be judged each time he goes out with a new prospect (women give no credit for being a good father; they would literally rather you be an alpha asshole driving a ferrari while your kids sleep under a bridge).


      • on December 2, 2015 at 10:10 am gunslingergregi

        So either the mother is a complete whore and drug addict””””””

        my mom was neither

        my dad got custody of my little sister though
        lawyer asked me who she should go with
        i had to go to court and say to put her with my dad
        its a bad situation all around really
        yea remaining calm is probably key and he certainly didn’t have much money maybe it helped
        thing was my mom was going to prayer groups with divorced woman telling her how great it was
        well it didn’t turn out great for her or my dad or anyone in the family


      • on December 2, 2015 at 10:15 am gunslingergregi

        when she got sick he did show me the true love in a way
        he took care of my mom even though they were divorced even though she got an annulment
        i mean he promised to death do us part and followed through as best he could


      • on December 2, 2015 at 10:56 am gunslingergregi

        thats why if getting married either mean till death due you part or change the vows to what you do mean
        and make sure you test the woman before actually married


    • Once you have kids, they become much more important than pussy. Pussy becomes a very secondary consideration.


  7. If he agrees to do the “night on the town” thing, it should really be kept on the down low. If he were to go through with the divorce, he holds all the cards with all her texts in tow proving her infidelity. If he were caught cheating on her in retaliation, she’d be back in the game to take most of his money.


  8. Get his kids paternity tested. Hopefully they are his, but if any are not, and he does not blow a gasket – then he is a lost cause. Concentrate on saving the children.

    He may have a very legitimate fear of losing access to his kids. This is how the system controls so many men. If that is the case – then the fact the wife wants to stay together is a good thing. It gives him time to plan an exit.


    • on December 1, 2015 at 4:27 pm Captain Obvious

      There was a kkkommenter a few weeks back who talked about how he destroyed his wife on paper – kept receipts of all of her vodka purchases and encouraged her to get psychiatric prescriptions for heavy-duty sh!znat like Ambien [??? as I recall], etc etc etc, and then he proved to the court that she was unfit to have custody. I hope that dude sees this thread and chimes in.


      • on December 1, 2015 at 4:43 pm Captain Obvious

        Also strongly agree on getting the kids tested. And sue all the way to the frigging SCOTUS in order to set a new precedent that dudes do NOT have to support kids who were sired by acts of cuckoldry.


      • on December 1, 2015 at 4:48 pm Captain Obvious

        It’s difficult to imagine any possible punishment which could be more “cruel & unusual” than forcing a cuckolded man to pay for raising another man’s offspring.


      • Capt – most traps are of our own making… There are ways out but people choose not to see them because that reauires dynamism and change.

        This is Generation Cuck. Cucked at school, cucked at work, cucked at home, cucked by the govt and cucked by the church at every turn.

        What you find always is most guys must enjoy it and enjoy the pain of it and the complaining because nearly none of them will simply ACT to make a change…


      • They get you to do what they want because you love your children. I put up with a lot of abuse for a solid decade. Everything that was unfair, that normally I would not have put up with – I had to knuckle under – because the courts would take their revenge out on my children. The the kids were not mine, or there were no kids court would have no leverage. I would have left the country without hesitation except for them.


      • on December 1, 2015 at 6:39 pm Captain Obvious

        > “abuse for a solid decade” ——— Dude, I woulda burned that [email protected] courthouse to the ground and hung every [email protected] one of those Family Court “judges” from the nearest tree. And no, I am not exaggerating. DNFW my chillunz. D. N. F. W.


      • CO, I like you. I feel the same way. Do not fuck with my chillunz.


      • CO: Those violent fantasies are nice and all, but its very different when you have children. There you are imagining going all braveheart on the system, but then you think about what comes next – not for you – but for your children.


    • #1 priority is to get an aggressive mean sonofabitch divorce lawyer on the down low. Sure it’ll cost you, but not having one will cost way more.

      Paternity testing is easy to do on the sly. Just pop down to Walgreens, buy a kit and swab the kid’s cheek when the mother is not around. But these tests are NOT admissible in court and are of no legal value.

      Get a lawyer’s advice on how to set things up, pronto. And not just any lawyer — you want one who eats glass for breakfast and has a winning record in situations like yours.

      I’ve dealt with plenty of lawyers in my life, both personally and professionally, and let me tell you the variance in quality and ability is massive.

      [Re: paternity testing. I tested my first born child secretly. Test came back 99.999% chance he’s my son. I had no reason to doubt but wanted to KNOW.]


      • Clarification – do-it-yourself paternity tests have no legal value. If you want to use paternity testing for legal action you must get it done at a place the court recognizes where there is a verified chain of possession.

        You need a lawyer’s advice because there are situations where the mother’s permission is required to get the official test.

        Yes, it’s fucked up. Women vote, and they do NOT want paternity testing to spoil the alpha fux beta bux fun. Hence all kinds of hurdles to get a legally admissible test.


      • All good advice for when the SHTF. Divorce is war and has to be dealt with on those terms. Victory goes to he who is best prepared and most disciplined in the execution.


      • Have you done this before? That’s not how it works. Even if you could find such a lawyer – that lawyer would lose. Its not a fair system.

        The system is designed to come to a certain conclusion: children with the mother enough time to justify significant child support payments. Its designed to make divorce as easy as possible for women and as hard as possible for men. Its a system designed to put the control of family life women’s hands because they have an incentive to destroy the marriage. ( Read about “threatpoint” here: )

        Its very important to understand: your own divorce lawyer really represents the court – not you. He is as much the enemy as the wife’s lawyer.

        The lawyers will see the same judge year after year. Long after you are gone – so they care more about their reputation with the court than getting a good deal for you.

        Any lawyer who is not working to achieve the goals of the court will soon be out of favor. So an uncooperative lawyer will get worse results for you than a cooperative one. You want a lawyer with a good reputation with the court for delivering the court the results that it wants. Such a lawyer has the ability to get you a marginally better deal – by achieving the court’s desired first, and using his good graces to get you a few wins on the margins.

        The best lawyer will be one who tells you “I have an excellent reputation with the court, and a cooperative relationship with the judge.”

        The uncooperative “mean sonofabitch laywer” will get shutdown instantly. His client is seen by the court as an uncooperative jerk from the start.

        If you really want to go the super aggressive route – and have the money for it – get two lawyers, a cooperative one with a good reputation, who represents you in court, and another lawyer – who the first lawyer does not even know about. An aggressive litigator – who preferably isn’t even a divorce lawyer.


  9. […] Your Brother’s Wife Is Cheating. What Do You Do? […]


  10. on December 1, 2015 at 3:09 pm Max from Australia

    Take him on holidays…pay some young chick 5grand to sleep with him for a week…the return on investment will be huge..


  11. on December 1, 2015 at 3:13 pm Max from Australia

    I have kids and have just gone through a divorce…do what i said…red pill is the only thing that saved me…it will save him…


  12. He is lost for now.

    This guy will probably follow the precise inverse of the “dread game” plan of action. The opposite of sexy dread is not comfort, instead it is unsexy loathing.

    Regrettably, the only thing left is to let the brother ride the train right over the cliff, and let the cleansing power of the inevitable devastation burn the toxins of blue pill utterly from his mind. Fail sooner = fail smaller.

    Remember, most people will go almost to the point of sacrificing their lives (or beyond, like parts of Europe) before they will sacrifice their narrative. He is not ready to admit narrative failure yet. Even if you could pry him loose, it would not last.

    I would distance myself from him as much as possible so as to be able to be a fresh voice of reason at a later time. At this point he is not ready to hear, and any attempts to help will only make him resent future help you can give.

    The red pill is either taken early, orally and voluntarily, or later, rectally and by force.


    • The red pill is either taken early, orally and voluntarily, or later, rectally and by force.

      This needs to be a 17th commandment.


  13. This happened to me with a friend of mine: he discovered his (fat) gf cheated on him while he was off on a business trip (he has a 6-figure salary, btw, and he is living at home with his parents currently ONLY to save up the money to buy a house for her).

    We got into a huge argument about it. He’s in total denial, he tries to laugh off my anger at her as “dude, it’s my gf, not yours” and “dude, why are you so worked up”—of course, when he first found out about it, he was calling me nonstop and was all suicidal.

    It’s hard for a man in the midst of a girl’s power to get outside the situation. He can logically see that, if this had happened to me, he’d be telling me to dump her. But he’s emotionally caught up—as guys tend to do way more than girls– and can’t break the emotional chains.

    We’ve really stopped hanging out since this happened, since I can’t respect him for staying with her. I’d love some advice about how to get him out as well.

    P.S. as to cheating, he went out and did it right afterwards to spite her, but it still didn’t do the trick.

    post is for me rape!


    • The fact that it didn’t have any effect emphasizes the point that it is very different when men and women cheat. It is far more serious when she does, because the relationship is permanently over after that.

      She honestly couldn’t care less if he cheats now because he’s not her boyfriend anymore even though she’s still his girlfriend.


      • What’s funny is that having a nawalt mother made me pedestalize women in the sense I expected them to be intelligent, logical, good cooks etc, which totally made me unable to appreciate them for what they are. It also made me realize my romantic nature is something girls will rarely experience because they rarely deserve or respect it. This combined with my brain chemistry being a mess while growing up and hormones made me start experiencing girls later than I should have. I wasn’t ever infatuated with a girl and I often wondered if I’m sociopathic because of it. Lol


    • I’m starting to wonder if the fact that I love my wife but am not infatuated with her is a good thing. It seems to give me a detachment that allows me to see the relationship clearly at all times.


      • on December 2, 2015 at 4:59 am Sean Fielding

        Wonder no longer. You have discovered the essence of why Game makes better men, better lovers and better husbands. I love my girlfriend better precisely BECAUSE I’m not infatuated with her. That frees me to love her realistically, for what she is, not what I imagine her to be.


      • on December 2, 2015 at 5:12 am Sean Fielding

        BTW, in this little observation lies the most important connection of all between Game and Race. If there is one thing that characterizes the best of the White race, it is our superior ability to see the outside world as it is, not as we would like it to be. That is the basis of our empathy, our beauty and our science, from Greek sculpture to particle physics to evolutionary psychology. Better Game makes better men. Better Game makes better Whites.


    • on December 1, 2015 at 4:19 pm The Night Porter

      Yes – revenge cheating doesn’t work. Whoever cheats first, wins – as far as that goes. Cheating is like a demon who can only enter your affairs if invited.


      • Revenge cheating only works in one circumstance: it’s with a hotter girl and the woman you are cheating on discovers you cheating in the throes of passion, i.e.: she has to visually observe you fucking a better woman than her for her tiny reptilian hindbrain to truly feel the dread that you can do better than her. That is the only way to save a relationship after she has become adulterous, if that is at all desired.


    • on December 1, 2015 at 4:52 pm Captain Obvious

      > “We’ve really stopped hanging out since this happened” ——— wf, I’d keep it that way. Tell him that if he honestly wants to change his ways, and is ready to swallow the Red Pill, then you’ll always be there for him, but as long as he’s sucking on the Blue Pills, then your “friendship” is on hold [and effectively terminated].


    • When you become a better man, you deserve better friends. Get better friends.


      • on December 1, 2015 at 8:44 pm Captain Obvious

        Yeah, “friendship” is a weird thing – your sense of what it amounts to changes over the course of your life. As does your sense of what kinda woman constitutes a good mate.


      • on December 1, 2015 at 8:46 pm Captain Obvious

        I’d always try to be there for an old friend, if he really in his heart of hearts decided that he wanted to kick the can, and grow up real fast, and swallow the Red Pill, and see the world for what it really is. But I would NOT be an enabler of his weaknesses [to include his sucking on the Blue Pills].


    • I’ve been trying to convert a friend of mine lately too. his gf = chubby 4 on a good day, rotted black teeth, 2 kids with diff fathers, one taken away. I call her jaws. He’s addicted to her saggy fun bags and toothless gum jobs. He’ll come over recently and bury his head in his cell phone until someone calls him out, she manipulates him 24/7 in person or electronically.

      You can drop every red pill wisdom bomb in the arsenal, he will nod his head in agreement or shake it in disgust and in the end it doesn’t matter cause he’s got no desire to learn anything, not yet anyways. He just wants a quick fix, cue the comfort chain gun that has no effect on her. in the end they rarely just “get it” on the spot like we wish the would. It takes absolute deconstruction of a love sick beta by a sloot to instill red pill knowledge with any haste. whats that old story about horses and water ? Kind of frustrating to not be able to help your buddies.

      So anyways, ive been trying a new angle, dragging him to a live music deal on a college campus tonight, get him around some new gash, see how that works out.


  14. on December 1, 2015 at 3:16 pm Enfant Terrible

    Your brother needs to find out if those kids are his, and if they are, and he wants to stay with his wife because of the kids, then he needs to man up, and discuss with his wife whether or not there is a future for them TOGETHER. If they cannot see themselves going forth as a couple, then even though it will be painful for the children, and possibly for himself, for the marriage to end, that’s what he needs to bring himself to do.

    Getting your brother to bang some new vagina may help his funk, but will do nothing to solve his marital problems.


    • I was in a similar situation, wife, 2 kids, wife needed to find a “new” life. I hung on for a year feeling sorry for myself. Luckily I had two friends who were there for me when I came out of it.

      When she came back(they always do), I was ready. I told her I would do it for the kids, but I was in charge. I set the relationship rules and she had no say, given that she proved she was incapable of making sound decisions. I told her over time, if she earned respect, she would get it.

      It lasted about two days, she started bringing up the past, making excuses…

      She was out the door and I never looked back… I should have stood up for myself much earlier.

      redpill begins with you.


      • on December 2, 2015 at 4:53 pm Enfant Terrible

        I think you did the right thing. You care for your children and tried to do what was good for them, unfortunately their mother is not up to the task, and it did not work out. Cheers!


  15. yep, the exit plan strategy is key. If he can execute the prefect plan it will reduce the overall impact on both his kids and himself. If he actually gets his mindset to that point he has won 3/4 of the battle.

    He need to also be smart about logistics. Plan to get an apartment that is perfectly positioned in close proximity to his kids school or daycare, his workplace, and decent gaming locations.


  16. Well since he sounds gameless the old take him out to pick up chicks might just reinforce his lack of options in his mind if he freezes up or gets repeatedly rejected (both likely). Hiring an incognito escort to seduce him (but not be too obvious about it) shouldn’t be outside the realm of options to consider here.

    As far as the kids, DNA test absolutely. I agree with other commenters that lack of custody sucks, but having them grow up in a house with a betaized, henpecked father whose scared of his own nutsack also sucks. Either way, these children are going to reap what their mother has sown. No great options there.


  17. The ONLY thing that would fix this situation is for the wife to die suddenly. The husband can’t do the deed as he would be the prime suspect. The brother could get away with it.


    • troll.


      • on December 1, 2015 at 4:21 pm Captain Obvious

        wf, I gotta disagree. I’d put the cheating b!tch in her grave before I let some [email protected] [Anti-] Family Court judge giver her custody [and then I’d do the same to the judge]. Or I’d pack up the kids whom the DNA tests proved were mine, and disappear into the cash economy with a fake SSN belonging to Felipe Gonzales or Juan Carlos or some sh!znat.


      • I was thinking the same thing: kill the wife. Because this profile links to my dead blog, you can see I’m not a troll. Shitlord? Maybe.

        Many years ago, my mom told me about a jury upon which my grandmother served. It was a murder trial. A husband found his wife at home fucking another man. He got his shot gun and killed them both. The jury, including my grandmother, acquitted him: “not guilty.” No insanity plea required. That was Texas in the 50’s.

        Murder being a risky thing, my advice to you and padawan is as follows.

        Test the kids as part of an ancestry project that includes the whole family. [PS: My father, who’s been told all his life that he’s German and Swede, turns out to be British and Swede. At 67 years old, he’s afraid to ask his 85 y/o [Swedish] mom about it.]

        If all the kids are his, give your brother’s wife the benefit of the doubt, but don’t cut her any slack. If any one of the kids aren’t his, (I think) he needs to get an attorney and work through all the ramifications. If it’s the last kid of the bunch, (I think) that’s a divorce-worthy event. Even so, that’s his problem, not yours. From your perspective, whether she repents her error and obtains her husband’s forgiveness or she doesn’t, you must decide whether you forgive her indiscretion. Me? I’m atheist: I don’t forgive. Sometimes I reconcile accounts.

        Thinking outside the box and without sentimentality, let’s say she’s a whore. What do you do with a whore? You fuck a whore. if that doesn’t get your brother’s attention, nothing will.

        Would I do any of this to my own (so far single) brother? It’s hard to say. See, I have a family (wife, kids) and my brother’s a little crazy. It’s hard to say what he might do if he’s pushed into a corner. In my case, it might be safest to abandon him to his mistakes. If YOUR brother is similarly unstable [takes back whore as wife… hmmm…] it may be wisest to just let the man go. We can’t save everybody.

        Still, if you’re committed to helping, then I recommend you become good friends with the best local divorce attorney you can find, then save lots of money so you can pay attorney’s fees on your brother’s behalf. That’s a move no gold-digging adulterous woman will see coming, and it’s something against which she can’t fight if she ever tries to bury him in divorce and custody battles.


      • on December 1, 2015 at 8:41 pm Captain Obvious

        > “At 67 years old, he’s afraid to ask his 85 y/o [Swedish] mom about it.]” ——— tte, either your Dad needs to swallow the Red Pill, and grow a pair, and ask your Grandma WTF [no pun intended] actually happened, or else you need to go talk to your Grandma about it. It’s possible that your real Grandpa is still alive out there – y’all need to go meet him.


    • “PS: My father, who’s been told all his life that he’s German and Swede, turns out to be British and Swede.”

      I wouldn’t put too much stock in that. These DNA tests can’t always distinguish between closely related ethnicities like British and German.


  18. Women and there mothers compete for male attention and cock…simply compliment her mums ass in front of the whole family…for. …the ultimate shiv…fuck her mum..


  19. @whorefinder – I think we all have these friend types; hopelessly plugged in betas that can’t see the fatness through the trees. I would hazard a guess that your friend has been with his gf for a very long time. The emotional attachment is strong to the point that nothing can break it. He is gone.

    I have a friend married to a hb3 that was his first or second ever gf and they’ve now been together 15-20 years or something. Even after successfully unplugging him 2 years ago (after he got busted cheating with a hb8), he won’t/can’t leave his fugly hamster wife when he could easily pull hb8/9’s. He is a great friend but I can’t for the love of god see why he stays locked in fugly hell.

    My theory is that men in LTR’s somehow can look through magic goggles that elevate the smv of their once better looking wife/gf.


    • i have a friend like this too. i think he’s attached to her and he’s a loyal kind of guy. but a lot of it is the kids i think. can’t see why he would stay for any other reason. they aren’t even his but he’s been with her for awhile and knows she’s bad at picking men. i think he figures the kids are better off with him than some other loser.

      he seems to be in it for the long haul and claims she’s great to be around. i don’t see it. she’s not someone i would be proud to have on my arm.

      average looks by some standards. but not good looking enough to make up for the bad attitude. she’s a feminist, animal rights kind of girl. rude sarcastic and she dresses like a lesbian gym teacher most days. the whole stereotype. no way i could do it.

      he treats her really well and he’s actually doing her a favor by staying with her and helping to raise her kids. she hasn’t managed to keep any other decent men around. but she’s an ungrateful shrew who doesn’t even see how lucky she is to have him. treats him like crap in my opinion.

      no way i wouldn’t be pissed every time i spent money or time on someone like that. couldn’t get over how entitled and ungrateful she was. how much of my life i was wasting on someone who didn’t deserve it.

      and the kids. i get trying to be a good guy. but i don’t think he’s doing the kids any favors. like i said in another comment. guys who stay in bad situations for the kids are role modeling how to fail at life and love.


  20. It sounds like his wife is just Alpha lusting and giving him the serious “warning signs” that she is unhappy.

    He has at least one kid so I think he owes it to his kid (his kid and not his wife) to make the marriage work with at least one try. There is nothing that hurts a man more then being rejected by someone who he previously loved and they thought loved them back. It is probably the lowest emotional pit a man can ever hit and it is hard to get your mojo back after it happens. Here is what I recommend:

    1. Build Confidence. Sounds like your brother has/never had any confidence. He needs to build some ASAP. The easiest way to do that is via a “reach” challenge. That is something that can be grasped, with a little hard work, in a shorter period of time. Assuming he is not a lard-o and can get into shape in 30-45 days I highly recommend a 5K. Yeah running is sort of SWPL but going form zero to 5K in a month can build a lot of confidence and show a man what he is capable of doing.

    2. Get Laid. Nothing guts a man more then going for months or years with no real sex. Double that down if he is falling asleep next to a woman every night who is sexual rejecting him (assuming he has some attraction to that woman). Take your brother out and try to get him some pootang. If he can’t pick up a 4 or 5 beastie because he has no game seriously consider just getting him a clean hooker. (I know this blog does not endorse the use of a prostitutes but sometimes a man need to be reminded of what he can have in the bedroom in order for him to go out and get it without paying).

    3. Lead Him To Red Pill Wisdom. Get him reading all the red pill stuff he will consume. Unveil the true nature of women to him. Don’t go full on men’s rights with him, start him off on some of the softer stuff about evolutionary biology, mating strategy, etc.

    4. Get Him Out of The House. He should start spending nights, especially weekend nights with friends, loyal family, or in his own pad if he can afford it. Returning “home” to a house where his cheating wife pesters him to death should not be the default. He should find a guy friendly activity and use that as a reason to spend 1-2 nights away from his house. Heck, joining a bowling league isn’t a bad option. Just make sure the league he joins is in the city or an uncomfortable drive home late at night.

    5. Coach Him on the Ultimatum. Once your brother gets some confidence and finds his mojo again he will need to finally give the wife an ultimatum. It should contain all of his terms for the continuance of a marriage. Stop cheating. Regular sex for him. Raise kid(s) to be the best that they can. His house, his rules, etc. If she balks at the final warning then so be it. Tell him to get divorced and do the best he can do to get full custody of the kid and pad his financial future.

    All of us have to fish or cut bait at some point in time. I would say he should give the situation at least six months as he owes it to the kid he decided to have with this horrible sounding woman. If after that the game plan doesn’t work then help him get out from his failed marriage and find someone who works out better.


  21. I’m surprised at some of the ‘advice’ in these comments so far. It’s is essentially ‘Man Up’ for the children. How the Hell could a man that chooses that path deal day in and day out with the shame of knowing his wife was out getting pounded by other men and he’s still with her. That would eat away at my soul every waking moment. To lose one’s self-respect is choosing not to live at all. It sucks for the kids, and likely would be heart wrenching, but even that wouldn’t be worth carrying that burden of shame & internal torture.


    • How far our society has declined. Men “man up’ for stuff that is worth “manning up” for.

      I totally agree that its a crock for a man to “man up” and marry a used up carousel rider, or to “man up” to white knight for some loud mouth feminist etc.

      But yes, men “man up” for their children. That means sometimes you have to do stuff that is not in your own short term interest.

      Once a woman betrays you – and that is not just cheating – but lying, hiding money, calling the police on you – then its over. There is no forgiveness and no recovery. In those cases she us scum and when the time is right you divorce her and never look back.

      But its possible that you bide your time and stay married for some years while you create a more stable situation for the children.

      Ironically the worse she is the more you may have to stay. Its quite possible that some women will bring home a druggie pervert to play daddy to your 12 year old daughter. I’ve seen situations where the woman literally shacks up with a tranny swinger while her normal beta workaday ex husband can only see the kids on weekends. You have to consider consequences that dire.


  22. It’s one of four things with the brother.

    1. He’s a loser douche and can’t get another girl so after the initial pissed-off-ness wore off he’s back.

    2. He really loves this piece of shit for some ungodly reason so after the initial pissed-off-ness wore off he’s back

    3. He’s worried about the kids.

    4. He’s worried about money.

    If it’s 1 or 2, you’re SOL. Public shame (preferably at Christmas or another family gathering when she’s there) shame her as a cheating, vow-breaking-slut, and then disown him. Walk out the door that night. Solid no contact.

    If it’s 3, he needs an attorney. It’s not as draconian in some states as it used to be. I have four with 50/50 custody. (I’m in Pennsylvania which follows best interest of the child doctrine…make sure you are in the best interest of the child.)

    It’s probably not 4 because you offered money and a place.

    Not knowing him but reading the story. It must be a combination if 1,2 and 3.

    I went through this except that I moved out immediately, already had cash saved and attorneys, had PI video, and told every single person in our large circle of friends that she was the a cheating whore. I did that for one month, then never spoke of it again. Her reputation is ruined, a year later she called crying that I smeared her and destroyed her life.

    Karma is a bitch, but vengeance is a stud.


    • on December 1, 2015 at 4:32 pm Captain Obvious

      Atticus, I agree that we don’t know enough about the dude to offer the best advice – we can mostly just speculate [and then much of that speculation will amount to what Eskimo Freud incorrectly called “projection”]. It’s possible the dude is such a complete loser that the kids would be better off with a more masculine second husband. And I don’t know that Padawan125 will be able to offer a completely objective analysis of the situation.


      • on December 1, 2015 at 4:36 pm Captain Obvious

        One thing I do know all too well – when frisky chicks are locked into dead-end marriages with sadsack wimped-out Beta losers, they are ACHING for a chance at having a baby or two sired by True Peak Alpha Sh!tlord seed. Nothing will send a chill down your spine quite like realizing that a married woman’s own children sicken her [because they remind her of her loser husband], and that she would do anything [to include abandoning those children] in order to have better quality children by your seed.


      • on December 1, 2015 at 4:38 pm Captain Obvious

        In m0d, but nothing is more terrifying than realizing that a woman’s own chillunz sicken her, because they remind her of her loser husband, and that she’d walk away from her family in a blink of an eye if it meant getting a chance at having children sired by you & your Peak Alpha Sh!tlord seed.


    • Every state follows the “best interest of the child” doctrine. And, with the exception of Arkansas and Florida, it is very difficult to get 50-50 custody without an agreement between the parties.


  23. it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. what he needs to understand is that eventually he will hate himself, and that is no way to live. at the very least he needs to be planning/preparing for the day the kids are grown and they all leave, including him.


    • on December 1, 2015 at 4:40 pm Captain Obvious

      If he’s a real man, then he’ll hate himself even more if any harm comes to his own flesh-and-blood because he left the house. Assuming they are his. If you leave, then the kids leave WITH you.


  24. I would say he is not ready for such a major change in his life. And I am not surprised at all.

    Divorce would leave him worse off financially, drained emotionally, changed psychologically, and quite possibly in worse health due to all the stress involved. Sure he would be better off -in the long term- , but that’s the problem isn’t it? The long term is really just very many short terms one after another; you must navigate all of them successfully, or else the long term would never arrive.

    But as long as he is angry about his present situation, even if he hides this anger from everyone but himself, there is a possibility that he might just channel it into getting himself to a better place – step by baby step if needs be. The anger finds ways to seep through.

    If the subject of divorce comes up again, he would need to approach all these losses with zen-like detachment – otherwise known as ZFG. This would take time to achieve and internalise enough to be reliable, and he would need to know what possibilities await him once the proceedings are over. So it’s this mindset that I would focus on building up, bit by bit. Having anoher woman flirt with him is a start, but far from the whole story.


  25. Of course he should divorce her, and then he should marry a younger woman and have a second family. That is what my father did when his first wife cheated on him and he then married my mother.


  26. In a general way, if he does not kill his inner beta and up his alpha mode to 11, the outcome will be awful whether he stays or goes.
    If he can do that, the outcome will probably be OK whether he stays or goes.
    Caveat: He must do private DNA paternity testing. It only takes a hair/diaper/anything sample from the kids plus his own. If either is a no-match, he has no choice.
    Proceed with divorce and at a critical point threaten to demand a formal, forensic test. She will then have a choice: Give him a fair deal or have the story (with pictures) of her slutitude put on facebook for all to see… forever.


    • befriend him, slip him something to get his t levels up. if hes gonna be miserable at least give him a fighting chance. or get him to run a hormone panel, make up something like you have a genetic condition blah blah blah, and that he should check his test, lh, fsh, igf, e2, prolactin, cbc and full metab. those tests can be found online for 100 bucks total. a guy who has normal to elevated testosterone levels wont be ruled like this.


  27. He tried shaming the brother (it reads like in private), he tried logic, he tried bribing. Shaming her in public, and by association the brother if he stays, is a whole different animal to women.

    All that said being a cuckold “for the sake of the children” is no way to live as man. It’s no way to teach your children and it certainly is no way to spend the one life you’ve been given


  28. on December 1, 2015 at 4:58 pm Facepalm to the Max

    Ask your brother if he genuinely cares about his kids?

    Then tell him the harsh truth – kids who grow up watching their weak father emasculated and mistreated by a bitchy mother end up fucked up beyond belief. The best thing he can do for his kids is divorce this whore and present a stoic and stalwart contrast of sanity and maturity on the weekend next to her idiocy and whore-ishness during the week.

    If she has been cheating two+ years and sticking around only to up the divorce pay out then she will do the same to the next guy. Better he cut her off now and let her implode quicker – he may get custody of the kids if she goes off the rails and that would be the best outcome.

    YOU MUST get it through his head that the kids ar better off with divorced parents, where the father is a strong male role model, than parents in a toxic relationship exposing their kids to that shit everyday. His son will grow up weak and his daughters become whores if he does not act now


    • “kids who grow up watching their weak father emasculated and mistreated by a bitchy mother end up fucked up beyond belief.”

      even without the cheating, this is enough to justify leaving. in fact, a good man is obligated to leave if he cares at all about the children.

      we all know the cheating is just a symptom of a bigger problem. it’s just an escalation point after many months or years of disrespecting and disdaining her man.

      if she’s at the point of cheating, there has been without a doubt, plenty of disrespect and displays of disgust in front of the kids. they know exactly what is going on without anyone having to tell them. staying with a woman who acts like that is not honorable. it is weak and selfish. and a man who stays with a woman like that is a terrible role model for his kids who is do them a great disservice.


      • “if she’s at the point of cheating, there has been without a doubt, plenty of disrespect and displays of disgust in front of the kids.”


        kids do see more than you think. they see all the things you think no one notices. her rejecting your advances. rolling her eyes at you or openly mocking you for asking her to do things for you. or she does those things in front of the kids when you try to go out with your buddies or do something without her.

        they see her being sarcastic, rude, and disrespectful just because she disagrees with you. they see her dress up for girls nights out but she only looks like a slob for you. kids notice EVERYTHING.

        they are watching you to see how to be when they grow up.

        ignoring all of these things and staying for their sake is a huge mistake. teaches them the exact opposite of how to be a man. and how to live with a woman who is worthy of your devotion. your sons will pick women like this and your daughters will become them. no other choice than to leave. find a good woman. and show them how it’s supposed to be done.


    • on December 1, 2015 at 6:44 pm Lost in Moderation

      True this. This was the turning point for me, when I realized my children assumed it was normal for their mother to treat their father with such consistent and uncalled-for nasty behavior. And even now, years after the divorce, it’s apparent to me how it affected them in those formative years in ways I’ll likely never undo myself. Only by acting when and like I did have I given them a chance of becoming a real man and woman.


    • @Mac

      Yes. ‘Little pitchers have big ears.’ And eyes. And sensitive nostrils. Kids pick up the domestic vibe like you wouldn’t believe.


  29. It is now routine that courts rule that grandparents have a justiciable interest in their grandchilds’ welfare and upbringing.

    As an uncle of the children, you can start an action against the mother, for alienation of affection. Her actions were the proximate cause of your impending loss of time/quality of nephew/neice consortia. The mere PRESENCE of a publicly-docketed case against her, might fuck up her plans. Might increase her legal fees a LOT. She has made a legal/social-market-based decision to cheat, based on price she needs to pay for her pussy pass. You only need to throw one wrench into her gearbox, for the scam to collapse in her face.

    Jurisdiction-shop very carefully.

    Child-neglect laws run rather strict nowadays. You may be able to file a child-welfare complaint against her, to be adjudicated by the child-welfare nazis that run things on the State level. Do your homework, read the laws of your state.

    in the majesty of the law, every tort is addressable. Approach it from that angle. You can’t really give your brother a set of balls – but you can protect yourself.


    • on December 1, 2015 at 6:46 pm Lost in Moderation

      Interesting approach, but as it stands, if Padowan files a suit, her legal bills are really his brother’s legal bills. This may be a good idea if his brother finally files for divorce himself, but watch out for the court that says the husband has to pay the wife’s legal bills (and that’s usually the last thing decided in the case, after all else is said and done).


    • Horrible ideas.

      First, grandparents have very little rights. In some states they can sue for visitation rights but that is still hard to get and usually only succeeds when the grandparents are being completely cut off from any access with the grandchildren. Even then, there are all kinds of other elements the grandparents most prove depending on the state. For example, in my state, the grandparents must prove that the grandchildren lived with them for at least 6 months — that would eliminate most grandparents from even having standing.

      Also, an uncle filing a suit against his sister-in-law for alienation of affection is unheard of. At best, the suit gets tossed and the uncle wastes his money. At worst, he could be ordered to pay the sister-in-law’s attorney fees at well.

      There is no such thing as jurisdiction shopping in child custody cases. The county the children are living in has jurisdiction. Period.

      And, child neglect laws are a joke. You can call CPS all you want. You’ll be lucky if they even investigate. 90%+ of investigated claims are considered “unsubstantiated” even when there is evidence of abuse.


      • >>> Also, an uncle filing a suit against his sister-in-law for alienation of affection is unheard of

        …. I guess no one was ever awarded $2 million for spilling McDonalds take-out coffee in her own lap in her own car, using her own hands. That would be unheard of!

        “I don’t know as I want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire him to tell how to do what I want to do.” – J.P. Morgan

        Any paralegal can memorize the rules of what is admissible evidence; that is not why we need trial lawyers. We need trial lawyers to seduce a jury with a narrative.


    • Karl — The McDonald’s suit was a basic negligence suit. It wasn’t some novel legal theory. And, it wasn’t a frivolous suit. A McDonald’s franchise was warned by inspectors, multiple times, that it was serving coffee at temperatures far too hot for human consumption. A woman spilled the coffee on herself and suffered third degree burns over a large part of her body and sued for negligence. That cause of action has existed since basically the beginning of the legal system.

      And, a lawyer cannot just make up a new cause of action. I don’t think you understand how the legal system works. Family law cases aren’t tried to juries anyway.


  30. Well the first thing to get his head around is hypergamy is a bitch but it ain’t personal. Gravity will fuck you up just the same and no one bitches about gravity.

    The second thing is welcome to the oneitis is dead funeral pyre… They are all fungible… Mother or not.

    The third thing is stop the neediness and validation seeking via women. Self validate.


  31. I hope this makes it

    I like this one with the real world solution.


    • Fuck. No wonder they’re coming here. George Soros is laughing. Every bit of gov policy is wrong for us, right for them. How many fucking rednecks gonna wave the Conf flag some more and happily die under the RW&B. If the supply of fools ran out, that would be one thing. That shit coming here will break the spirit of lefty sheeple. At that point I will become WhoreFinder #2.


  32. This is easy. Speaking from experience:
    1. Document wife’s infidelity and reaction to discovery thereof. Log text messages, emails, etc. Get written declarations from the family members to whom the texts were made public.Make multiple copies. Keep in safe place. Give one to someone else for safekeeping. These will come in handy during the divorce phase of the plan, if implemented.
    2. Explain in no uncertain terms that you are staying married for the kids.
    3. Move into separate bedroom. End sexual relations with the wife.
    4. Live life as a single man to the extent possible.

    I’ve been dating for almost 15 years, banging chicks 10-20 years younger than me and currently have a monogamous relationship with a wonderful girlfriend. Meanwhile, her SMV has imploded. I don’t think she’s received any male attention in over 5 years. I look for her to drift into a lesbian relationship eventually, which will tickle me to no end. C’est la vie.

    Women hold all card in youth, but the worm turns.


  33. I enjoy your great scenes from the movies series as much as the next reader but you can only learn so much from fictional alpha males – scripts create ideal situations and outcomes. It would be interesting to see more alpha male of the months, particularly ‘positive’ incarnations.


  34. So from this dad’s point of view, he assumes all his kids’ needs are provided for so long as

    1. He is giving them money and the mother money
    2. He is together with the mother and present for the kids.

    Is the father really that basic/apathetic? Does he ever think to ask what more they might need since he is supposedly doing this “for the children.” At what point does he behave in a way that his son’s can reciprocate? I.e. at what point do his kids learn from him?

    He must also acknowledge the following:

    1. Dad’s happiness is not something relevant to the kids’ needs.
    2. Mom’s happiness is not something relevant to the kids’ needs. Well, maybe the kids need it, but if mom gets happiness from having sex with other men, that fulfills the kids’ needs. Lets see dad explain that one.
    3. His job doesn’t involve teaching kids right and wrong. Nor encouraging them to be religious and see things as good vs. evil.


  35. Good luck Padawan. I feel CH is probably giving the most compassionate advice.
    Your brothers situation is a tragedy for which I would probably cut myself off from. Maybe I see some of what I became in my marriage. Thank the God Putin prays to that I came back to reality and re-learned game.

    I used to blame the wife for these situations until I reclaimed my Alpha and personal responsibility. Not his wife’s fault.


  36. on December 1, 2015 at 6:25 pm Lost in Moderation

    I have two children. I am the custodial father, they are with me about 72% of the time. It is possible to pull it off, but it requires a lot of savvy, a lot of discipline, and a considerable amount of luck as well. I understand all too well the “now is not the right time for our children” feeling. There is never a right time. But like a thrown hammer between the eyes, it became horribly apparent when they were ten-ish that the incredibly fucked up way we were living was what they thought was normal. That led to both the bleakest and the most liberating observation of all: There is no way to protect them injury. No way to protect them from what divorce does. No way to protect them from what an abusive mother (the mother of our children) can do. Men think they can, but they can’t. All they can do is show them the right way to live, and give them a chance to live in it with their father.

    Once I realized that, action was easy. I documented everything, and carefully made every decision in terms of the long battle. I ignored all of her provocations whenever possible. She did slimy things. I have tape recordings (I wired my house, fully legal where I lived then) of her implying that I took obscene photos of our daughter to the wives of our “friends” and employers, which cost me a job. I have recordings of her working with a women’s center to figure out how to plant things on my computer. I recorded, and listening to those recordings saved my life, and my children’s as well.

    Money? Well, the longer you stay the worse the financial damage will be, but I decided early on to screw the money. Obviously, fight to keep as much of it as I can, but the important thing was to get a minimum of 50/50 custody. In the end, she pulled a stunt that was going to get me arrested had I waited until the cops arrived. Instead, I got our children out of bed and fled to a friend’s house. I called the cops and they came there and told me I was perfectly legal in what I did because I was their lawful parent… and then they told me ABOUT DAMNED TIME I DID SOMETHING. You see, they had been to the house again and again based on her BS calls, they knew they were hokey, but their hands were tied.

    This is what most men don’t get. There is no playing fair. It is a knife fight in a phone booth. Men think if they follow the rules and do what’s right and honorable and fair, they will get a fair shake from the system. Those are the men who end up setting themselves on fire in front of Family Court somewhere. It’s almost like the alpha/beta thing–Family Court judges almost seem to swoon in the presence of a man who fucking fights hard and without remorse for his children.

    When I took the children from the house, I pre-emptively established custody. Our children were outstandingly vocal that they did not want to live with their mother, they wanted to live with me, and in our own house. The court ordered that they live with me and that she had four days to get out of the house. And though her constant legal actions over the years since have made it impossible for me to get out of poverty, our children remain with me, and by choice.

    Your brother needs to figure this out for himself. Sad truth, no one can change his mind, only he can. And above fucking all, DO NOT get him chasing stray pussy. The court will overlook anything his wife does, absolutely anything, but it won’t give him an inch if he’s stupid enough to dip his wick anywhere else while he’s still married to her. The best thing Padawan125 can do is to constantly remind his brother that he loves him, that he will always be there for him and on a moment’s notice, that he AND his children can flee to his house/apartment anytime, that he will see that he has work, has a way to take care of his children. Just keep reminding him of that. He has to swallow the red pill himself, but it will be easier for him if he does if you’re there waiting.

    Plot twist: Our outrageously smart daughter did blood typing in her science class. She didn’t realize it, but I did: our respective blood types are the classic example of textbook typing that prove the man is not father of the child. I will never tell her that, I have loved her with all my heart since before she was born, but someday she will figure it out herself (she wants to be a doctor). Now, there are lots of possibilities for how I can be her father and our blood types be what they are, but they are somewhat rare and would require a lot more testing and her awareness of what I’m testing for. I won’t go that road. My daughter and my son need a father in life, one who is without question the man who is always there for them. I intend to be that one for them.


    • All well said, but only applicable in unusual circumstances (as yours were.) Unless your wife is certifiably crazy and has done the stuff yours did, ‘preemptively establishing custody’ is not realistic. It will get you in big legal trouble in most states, including prejudicing the judge against you.


      • on December 2, 2015 at 3:25 pm Lost in Moderation

        Point taken, but I am not so sure it’s unrealistic. I think the reality is that so many men are warned away from it that it remains largely untested. A man who does it has to be thinking and acting on his own and not on the advice of family court lawyers who are terrified of a male client doing anything they may actually have to, you know, fight in court for. My lawyer (a man, sadly forced to retire for medical reasons) knew to warn me if what I was contemplating was fatally prejudicial. Otherwise, I info’d him and then I acted. After acting, he took legal action as if the current state of affairs was the status quo, and since family courts are ABOVE ALL terrified of upsetting the existing status quo, I won. I’m still winning, three years later. We’re divorced and don’t even have a state-mandated “parenting plan” in place because I’ve simply refused to do one. Now our children are teenagers and most of that shit isn’t even relevant anymore.

        If there is one clear takeaway from my case, it’s that in divorce and custody, the man should always act first. Think ahead of her, plan ahead of her, file ahead of her. Know everything she can do and have a plan to either take that advantage away from her, or have a plan to counter it. Again, it’s a knife fight in a phone booth, nice guys get the shiv.


  37. Happened to me over ten years ago. After trying to fix things, I told her I was giving up and good luck. Had a hot younger GF in a couple of months (13 years younger than the soon-to-be-ex). DID NOT MOVE OUT until the divorce was final and got 50/50 split on the oldest kid, and 10/90 on the youngest. Kids are fine these days, and frequently would like to “divorce” their mom.
    Loving life, especially when someone mistakes my wife for my daughter.


  38. Give him advice when he asks; otherwise leave him alone. You are not responsible for him. Focus on your own life and don’t meddle in his because he will hate you for it. Everyone has their own journey.


    • on December 1, 2015 at 8:06 pm Subway Musturbator

      “Give him advice when he asks; otherwise leave him alone. ” No, we’re 27 or 33, never married but still know everything about family therapy, magically, without any study or life experience. Because we’re …. special.


  39. OT: Guys I’m having trouble hating mark Zuckerberg now

    [CH: he named his daughter max. nope, still hate him.
    ps who do you think cuckersperg is gonna donate all that money to? hint: is it bad for the white goyum? that’s who.]


    • Those charities are just money laundering schemes to avoid taxes like the Gates fundation. You just shift money into a tax free pot that you don’t own but still control. Foundations aren’t taxed and become prog treasuries over a few generations. People say all kinds of stupid shit when they are in a sappy mood. Zuckerberg is still working for the ZOG and for the RKM and will be your lord and master when the time comes.


      • This is even worse…

        “By using a limited liability company instead of a nonprofit corporation or foundation, the Zuckerberg family will be able to go beyond making philanthropic grants. They will invest in companies, lobby for legislation and seek to influence public policy debates, which nonprofits are restricted from doing under tax laws. A spokeswoman for the family said that any profits from the investments would be plowed back into the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative for future projects.

        “We must build technology to make change. Many institutions invest money in these challenges, but most progress comes from productivity gains through innovation,” they wrote in the letter to their daughter. “We must participate in policy and advocacy to shape debates. Many institutions are unwilling to do this, but progress must be supported by movements to be sustainable.””

        and FWIW his “letter” to his daughter only says he will donate over his lifetime. He is currently limited to $1B a year in charitable stock sales…


    • on December 2, 2015 at 5:43 am Sean Fielding

      Grow up.


  40. She was caught off guard and will await her chance to shank him. Then she will move against the in-laws by denying them contact with the kids.

    As for our husband the infidelity will haunt him until her looks fall apart and he tries to break free from the nightmare. There will be endless turmoil over it. If he could muster some strange it might save the situation.

    A night on the town with the fellas may only reinforce the lunar bleakness of the singles scene. A married shlub won’t have much of a chance until he grows out of it. In a situation like this a trip to the brothel may be the only recourse.


  41. on December 1, 2015 at 6:50 pm Lost in Moderation

    I have two children. I am the custodial father, they are with me about 72% of the time. It is possible to pull it off, but it requires a lot of savvy, a lot of discipline, and a considerable amount of luck as well. I understand all too well the “now is not the right time for our children” feeling. There is never a right time. But like a thrown hammer between the eyes, it became horribly apparent when they were ten-ish that the incredibly fucked up way we were living was what they thought was normal. That led to both the bleakest and the most liberating observation of all: There is no way to protect them injury. No way to protect them from what divorce does. No way to protect them from what an abusive mother (the mother of our children) can do. Men think they can, but they can’t. All they can do is show them the right way to live, and give them a chance to live in it with their father.

    Once I realized that, action was easy. I documented everything, and carefully made every decision in terms of the long battle. I ignored all of her provocations whenever possible. She did slimy things. I have tape recordings (I wired my house, fully legal where I lived then) of her implying that I took obscene photos of our daughter to the wives of our “friends” and employers, which cost me a job (verbal offer, no chance of legal action). I have recordings of her working with a women’s center to figure out how to plant things on my computer. I recorded, and listening to those recordings saved my life, and my children’s as well.

    Money? Well, the longer you stay the worse the financial damage will be, but I decided early on to screw the money. Obviously, fight to keep as much of it as I can, but the important thing was to get a minimum of 50/50 custody. In the end, she pulled a stunt that was going to get me arrested had I waited until the cops arrived. Instead, I got our children out of bed and fled to a friend’s house. I called the cops and they came there and told me I was perfectly legal in what I did because I was their lawful parent… and then they told me ABOUT DAMNED TIME I DID SOMETHING. You see, they had been to the house again and again based on her BS calls, they knew they were hokey, but their hands were tied. Then they went to her and told her that if she appeared anywhere around where I was staying they would arrest her.

    This is what most men don’t get. There is no playing fair. It is a knife fight in a phone booth. Men think if they follow the rules and do what’s right and honorable and fair, they will get a fair shake from the system. Those are the men who end up setting themselves on fire in front of Family Court somewhere. It’s almost like the alpha/beta thing–Family Court judges almost seem to swoon in the presence of a man who fucking fights hard and without remorse for his children. Give the cops a chance to protect a man and they will. Give the judge a chance to protect a man and sometimes they actually will.

    When I took the children from the house, I pre-emptively established custody. Our children were outstandingly vocal that they did not want to live with their mother, they wanted to live with me, and in our own house. The court ordered that they live with me and that she had four days to get out of the house. And though her constant legal actions over the years since have made it impossible for me to get out of poverty, our children remain with me, and by choice.

    Your brother needs to figure this out for himself. Sad truth, no one can change his mind, only he can. And above fucking all, DO NOT get him chasing stray pussy. The court will overlook anything his wife does, absolutely anything, but it won’t give him an inch if he’s stupid enough to dip his wick anywhere else while he’s still married to her. The best thing Padawan125 can do is to constantly remind his brother that he loves him, that he will always be there for him and on a moment’s notice, that he AND his children can flee to his house/apartment anytime, that he will see that he has work, has a way to take care of his children. Just keep reminding him of that. He has to swallow the red pill himself, but it will be easier for him if he does if you’re there waiting.

    Plot twist: Our outrageously smart daughter did blood typing in her science class. She didn’t realize it, but I did: our respective blood types are the classic example of textbook typing that prove the man is not father of the child. I will never tell her that, I have loved her with all my heart since before she was born, but someday she will figure it out herself (she wants to be a doctor). Now, there are possibilities for how I can be her father and our blood types be what they are, but they are somewhat rare and would require a lot more testing and her awareness of what I’m testing for. I won’t go that road. My daughter and my son need a father in life, one who is without question the man who is always there for them. I intend to be that one for them.


    • (she wants to be a doctor)

      Don’t they all.


      • on December 2, 2015 at 8:00 am Lost in Moderation

        She’s homeschooled, two years ahead of her peers, has a mentor at Harvard Med. Some are more serious than others.


      • I don’t doubt her capability to do it but she may end up childless. At the very least have her consider the options I discuss in my essay

        Girls! The Work-Life Balance Plan the Feminists Don’t Want You to Know


      • on December 2, 2015 at 3:31 pm Lost in Moderation

        ElmerT, not sure if this will fall out in order so it’s a reply on your second reply. She’s well aware of what happens to fertility. I’m well aware that the majority of female MDs wouldn’t even be practicing if it weren’t for the debt. We’ve got our plans to avoid as much of the debt as possible and to shortcut things so she’s an MD by 22 or so, unlike the standard American path that drags on forever for no good reason.

        I will say this, though. She will need one real whip-crackin’ alpha in her life when the time comes. Smart girls with verbal chops are murder on betas, she’s going to need a frickin’ John Wayne to tie her down. That’s what I’m afraid of, not many of those around, especially not in academia.


      • on December 2, 2015 at 5:17 pm a frickin’ John Wayne to tie her down

        Uhhh, did someone call my name?


    • Why are you bragging about “your” daughter. She isn’t even yours.


  42. Ultimate realist and ancient shivmaster Chanakya on a good wife:

    “A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute in the night.”


  43. “”My parents are urging me to “support him and his decisions” because “life is too short.” “”

    This is precisely why he got to this point. Your parents are the ones you should despise. You can easily save your brother. Find him a woman to play with. To hang out and get flirty with. He probably has been with like 2 women in his life and thinks the end of history would happen if he left his wife. You have to break him out of this. Instead your folks enable this whore and create another batch of gay white grandchildren from broken homes.

    Seriously this chick is probably taking it up the ass in the back of vans like some 19 year old crackwhore while your brother watches the kids and they pretend to live normal American lives. Leave her now.


    Seriously, there is nothing to be done since you can’t kill her anymore.

    And I’m serious about this.


    • on December 1, 2015 at 8:35 pm Captain Obvious

      > “since you can’t kill her anymore” ——— I honestly don’t understand what the problem is with k!lling da b!tch. SRSLY. What’s wrong with that idea? [As long as she’s not pregnant – you mustn’t murder an innocent human being.]


  44. on December 1, 2015 at 7:25 pm Mr Bigglesworth

    “Unless it’s for “dread” and the plan is to get the wife back in line”.

    ^^ The wife has been fucking another man for 2 years.

    You don’t come back from that. Ever.

    It’s 100% stone cold dead.


  45. For reasons that will go unsaid, this strikes too close to home…

    but if I discovered either of my SIL’s were cheating on my brothers, I’d tell him ASAP. Then I’d offer my help in the divorce.

    Hell… I might even help hide a body.


  46. Unfortunately, in America her father cant honor kill her.

    I hope the man helps his brother find his self worth and he ends up divorcing the broad. Id proudly make her a single mother.


  47. I appreciate the comments from everyone and thank you CH for giving this important question it’s own post! I’m planning on slowly bringing up more game topics in conversations and go from there, and take my brother out more.

    PS I want to share with CH how I discovered this website: a number of years ago I was dating a single mom more than 5 years older than me who had two young kids (I guess beta runs in our family). But I had this gnawing feeling that there was something wrong with the situation but I couldn’t quite identify what. So I googled “advice for dating a single mom” (sadly this is complete truth). Not pleased with the advice from the hits on the first few results page, I kept digging and stayed up all night reading posts. My life was saved.


    • Padawan125 – tough luck with your brother. No doubt it is frustrating for you to preach to him and him not hear it. But you can’t force him to hear you.

      Cutting him out won’t help him either.

      What you need to do is provide the best example possible for him in your life, so that when he is ready, he will ask why you are so happy? why you have what you want? etc.

      At that point let him in on the Red Pill and the Platinum Rule [do exactly what you want to do whenever you want to do it].

      So go forth and live your life to the fullest extent, keep him in the loop, offer him branches to join you and be positive when he continues to demur [shrug] because eventually their will come a time when he is ready.


    • When I started to talk to women online on this site, I hit it off with this girl… Who happened to be a teenage single mother. Frankly, I was disgusted by her lack of shame regarding it. Sure, it can happen to any girl who won’t get an abortion, but don’t the cavalier attitude regarding it was triggering some serious shock and disgust in me. Lol, being eastern European, I have no idea what made me talk to American women.


      • on December 2, 2015 at 8:28 am The Straw That Stirs the Drink

        In america any woman who is currently unmarried and a mother is a “single mother”, the large majority are better termed divorcees, and the stat is roughly 70% self initiated divorcees at that. But that term brings bad feelz, so it has been scrapped for the empowering Single Mother…

        The earlier shame around the term single mother has been completely displaced… do the benefit of the original “unwed” mothers, lower class girls knocked up regularly and the few other girls loved and left by cads and bounders.


    • Good luck with the brother. Younger or older brother? Did he knock her up before they were married? They are married 5 years. How old are the kids?


  48. To the general idea of staying puzzy whooped because BUT MY CHILDRENZ…boo hoo. It’s never the fault of ‘father’ who threw away the country as a voter, white knight, supplicant, shamer, etc. BEFORE having children. No, I’m no dad, but I can tell you two things: (1) the kids of beta manlet suffer ’cause his example and the relationship is wrong from the start (me and my rapist are staying together, care for rectal cream?), and (2) in their teens they will not want advise on life from a pussy-whooped loser. I’d rather not be there for them and have their respect when they come to me and say mom is shit (which is ridiculously true by the definition of manipulative, liberated wife). My life would not be the wreck (but w/o divorce or kids, ha ha) it is if I had solid advice by age 20. Struggle is often educational, but what kind matters. ZFG is not a luxury for a man today, or for a boy to see in a role model. Reason first, emotions as one’s tool exclusively one’s own second. Heart strings are the same old effing bullshit. You make children with liberated bitches, WTFdoyouexpect? If you don’t know that the crux of the divorce problem is custody and culture, as in legitimate should be entirely dad’s control and burden and illegitimate entirely mom’s control and financial burden, if you don’t know that or the point of cultural transmission via nuclear family (get this, with disposable income and free time) then why the fuck are you playing adult with reproduction? (I am so effing sick of full grown babies making important decisions that impose upon me: it aint just baby making in a gov regulated union4xristsakes and not per simple contract law but babies making work decisions and wealth allocation decisions that have impact.) A baby is the biological father’s debt slave anchor baby. And you “But Your Not a Father” guys are so enslaved and you don’t even know it. Goethe says you’re fucked. Consummate sheeple love weakness, love vulnerability. Bend over, bitch. More wrongs don’t make a right. The Gordian knot can only be cut, and the sooner the better. Cut what it takes to extricate. None of us have sovereignty. Your children are not your children anymore (well there is the DNA part, congrats), never were because your values of emasculation don’t mean shit (as is clearly evident), but they are yours to pay the bills and take psychological abuse as a failure workhorse who in fact never had a fucking chance b/c the game is rigged from the time you first went to school. If you ain’ta stone cold mofo looking your wifey square in the eye in times like this, you aint got no chance of salvage. The only respect animal strong. Walking away from the bitch is a damn good approximation in these times. If you negotiate with turncoat women, you are negotiating with creatures lower than male terrorists. Negotiation IS the problem. Reduce to sphere of grasp. Or whatever. Not my life. All I can say is I think that is how I would handle it. I’m so disgusted about losers as winners and winners as losers that I am not sure I don’t enjoy the schadenfraud. Had enough of this shit. ZFG means the mind-killer passes through me. FTW. It’s yours not mine.


  49. been reading your website for a while. barring a few things i don’t like, i have experienced a full ego liberation now.
    being a man is a beautiful thing.


  50. A recollection: a colleague was stricken with one-itis in his 20s.
    When his friends had enough of his pining and grieving they locked him in the hold of a boat with a willing but very unlovely lady and refused to let him out until he consumated the acquaintance.
    It worked.


  51. There is a simple solution. You tell him to try to rekindle the romance in their marriage by taking her on a vacation to an exotic–preferably third world (think Asia)–destination. Bonus points if the country has no extradition treaty with the United States.

    Then, you arrive at the same destination a few days later. And you kill her.

    That is what you owe to your brother. You kill her.

    Inshallah, you plan a smart, and hasty return to the US, and after six months or so, you nurse your brother back to masculine health using the methods Heartiste described in his post.


  52. Spot on advice, when a man recognizes his true value the floodgates of poon open upon the heavens.


  53. I think your brother is solely responsible for his situation. He’s an adult. If you go into the pasture and f with the bull and you get gored, you asked for it. It’s a GD bull. So he married the skank, and I’m positive she treated him like sheet before they were married. Deep down he knew what he was getting into, or he’s brain dead. So I think he’s a masochist. And until he no longer wants to be such he’s going to keep getting abused. I’d sever ties with him. Because it’s going to hurt you to see him be treated the way he wants to be treated, think about watching someone you love get raped, and they want to be raped. Doesn’t make it any easier to take or to think about. Also, because he’s a masochist he will bring you into his pain if you are close to him. Trust me, it’s what masochists do. I don’t know enough about your life to tell you how he will do this but he will.

    If I were him. I’d get divorced no matter what. I’d get the kids DNA tested to determine the extent of the divorce. I’d hope they weren’t mine. Think about it, if they are you’re going to always have a connection to that [email protected] If lucky and they aren’t mine, I’d be gone. If they were mine or 1 was, etc. I’d want custody of my own. If this was impossible I’d get at least 50/50 custody. And here’s they way to get what you want. Get her alone, and simply tell her if she doesn’t treat you fairly you will kill her. Not today, tomorrow, but it will happen. It will be horrific. Murder/suicide if need be. Tell her if she goes to the police the contract has already been paid and the hole dug. So it will happen if you go behind bars. Tell her you will deny, and its her word against yours.

    I’m so glad I never got married. I’ve come to the conclusion that no p is worth marriage…


    • “So I think he’s a masochist.”

      This is often at the root of these situations, both in scenarios involving male and female enablers of abuse. You can’t persuade such people to improve their situation because despite appearances, they find it satisfying.


  54. Why do so many people like Tinder?


    • Because it’s easy to ‘approach’ a hundred broads in an hour on it. Lol. I’ll give it a go next spring after I get my job situation in check because it beats having to think of where do girls I like go in town.


  55. Just punch him in the face. A couple of times for good measure. Then tell him to fuck off and come back when he grows up and leaves that whore. Otherwise you want nothing to do with a manboy who would bring that shame upon your family. No negotiations, no compromises. If he doesn’t buck up his ideas you’ve not lost anything but the burden of caring about a man who refuses to care for himself and his family.


  56. The entire comments have validity. This is a tough one and I feel for you. Here is my approach: I would take the tactic that his is not a normal healthy response. What is missing from your brother is a semblance of rational self interest; you need to point that out and stay on that point. Encourage him with “no, brother, that is not normal.” and get him to do the mental gymnastics to arrive at “what is in it for me”. I think he is the one whom needs to reconcile his behavor in that context, and I wouldn’t stray from that point too far. Rollo speaks in one of his papers about how one of the most challenging aspects for men whom transition to red pill awareness is for them to find out they can’t even identify their own needs. Truly, they are adrift. In my case, it was a good year plus of reading Rollo, CH, and Dalrock before I was able to get past the emotions of being taken for granted and understanding the dynamic of how I got sucked into this in the first place. From a practical standpoint, I’d be focused on getting the lawyer discussions going. Your brother has a long way to go.


    • This is what makes me think I would have rather been virgin at 35 than living this beta life until then if that was the point when I’d start learning game. At least virgins who didn’t chase pussy don’t have to deal with years of getting used to being ass raped.


      • on December 2, 2015 at 9:17 am Tent Mountain

        You are not wrong with your observation and conclusion. This is why it is so important that the communities of CH, Rollo, and Dalrock need to be integrated into every male’, his actions and priorities. The alternative, as you correctly surmise, is to have a few good years before you get to check out to the next life. It is a waste of a life and it is a very bitter pill to swallow.


  57. “Godspeed, because you are doing the Lord’s work. “which lord?” Come now, let’s not spoil the moment with nagging technicalities.”

    Best quote I’ve ever read… And I’m well read.


  58. He can save his marriage too by becoming a General hard ass towards her and her demands. She is a bitch because he won’t spank her and show her she is loved. She is demanding a spanking in fact. I’m dead serious. Telll your brother the next time she goes into bitch mode to pick her up put her over his knees and spank her ass until ist bright red. She won’t call the cops, she’ll blow him.


    • Have him call her a cheating whore and cum slut while he’s spanking her for good measure. She wants to be expiated of her guilt. Then manhandle her when he’s fucking her too.


  59. Boys, amused mastery is not pretense. It’s real. Try it sometime. Real detachment from everything.


  60. You sometimes argue the merits of sexual dimorphism, and here is a study that backs you up:

    The key to a happy marriage? A tall husband: Couples with the biggest height differences found to have best relationships
    Researchers found the greater the difference, the happier the wife is
    But the effect faded over time and stopped altogether after 18 years
    Study based on 7,850 women collected from a long-term population survey
    Women who opt for tall men are also more fertile, scientists suggest

    But don’t miss the picture, which shows a tall white man with a black short-haired pygmy woman! The study only said height differences led to happiness, not racial differences.


    • I’ll note that guys who aren’t 6’4” shouldn’t get down about this… its essentially a proxy for a Power gap, dominance-submission, masculine-feminine. Towering over a girl is nice, but there are plenty of ways to maintain a Power gap over a girl with psychosocial dominance. Even other superficiliaties like income and muscle mass probably show a similar effect.

      Ok, if you’re 5’2” that sucks but if you’re like 5’9” or something just play to your strengths and you’ll be fine.


  61. To the guy in the first comment:

    It all boils down to the bedroom.

    You are kinda right. How can he go out and meet other other women and try and fuck them if he cant reclaim his manhood in his own household? He has to start from the house – show that bitch who’s boss. Once that is done, he must additionally cheat on the whore and show her who’s alpha. She will never leave him after that.

    If he doesn’t get turned on by her anymore – well, that makes things a bit difficult. Maybe then he must go straight to cheating and she must find out about it so she can get pissed off.. thats another way to put the bitch in place.


  62. on December 2, 2015 at 12:42 am jessie pinkman

    The Cuckold gene is something these type of men are born with,there’s no hope for them.It’s exactly the same as the Addiction gene.You will never succeed in getting a drug addict to kick his addiction,it’s a decision he needs to make on his own,which rarely happens.

    “Game” to these men is strange and peculiar because they cannot fathom being a dominant masculine man.To them it’s unnatural and makes them feel bad to have any woman submit to power/dominance.

    My sister is married to a Cuck.It’s the only way he knows around a woman.It blows his mind that she does everything i say,but shoots his every suggestion down.But would do it if i suggested the same thing.

    He needs to run every decisions by her for approval.A few weeks back,he wanted to take their car to the auto shop down the road for brakes,instead of the dealership because he would save $100.They argued about it in front of me.I told her the auto shop down the road would do the exact same job as the dealership for a cheaper price,and their car was out of warranty anyway.No point in wasting the $100 on the dealership.She only agreed with the idea after i made my comment.The look in his eyes were priceless,yet stupid at the same time.

    To Padawan125,you’ve given your bro all the warnings,he’s seen the red flags for himself.He’ll let her sail him down the river no matter what.I know its hard,but just let him go.

    How many times does a snake need to bite you before you decide that the snake is dangerous.


  63. on December 2, 2015 at 3:37 am Vagina dominator

    my sympathies in this difficult situation. I offer your brother this diatribe.

    I heard in the ether that you are going back to the wife that betrayed you. I am sure you are sure that she will never do it again.
    So that leaves only one question. How many times are you going to allow her to drag you down into misery before you learn to love yourself first?
    To your wife (and so you are teaching your children) you are a donkey, a stupid beast of burden.
    A door mat has more dignity,
    You are a cuntrag for wiping the spoof of strange men from the leering vagina of your whore of a wife.
    You are society’s new Stepnfetchit,on your headstone they can write
    “I was miserable so that others might be happy”
    You always do “the right thing”
    So that others can be comfortable as they harm you You never defend youself or put yourself first
    You are a lamb who does not run from the tiger because he frets “If I run away, then what will the poor tiger eat?”

    After the reconciliation you can stay home on Friday nights and play Jenga to bond with your (no doubt lovable) kids
    While your wife goes “out with the girls” (she only went off the rails because the old marriage had “stifled” her)
    And on Sunday afternoon she has to go to the office,
    And on Wednesday night she has “classes”
    And that is cool with you because, after all, a marriage without trust
    Is no marriage at all,

    You are 6’ 1” tall,
    Earn six figures,
    Speak three languages fluently,
    Have two advanced degrees (engineering and finance)
    You have a solid jawline,
    Are not bad at most sports, coordinated, aggressive.
    Got to be some T in there somewhere.
    You get along easily with other guys,
    But some of them bother you,
    The un-PC things they say,
    (so you back off from friendship with them,
    You know your wife wouldn’t like you hearing that kind of thing)
    So you are kind of similar to a man.

    Your body is good, long and lean,
    yet you walk with a stoop
    And wear cheap clothes that don’t quite fit,
    Because you have to save for college for the girls,
    And for their music classes,
    And their gymnastics
    So you have to be economical,
    But of course your wife charges thousands for new shoes,
    For work (what the fuck does she do anyway? She is after all a functional retard with the powers of concentration of a moth. Oh, HR? Okay.) ,
    Because she says at her work she can’t look like a charity case,
    And yoga pants for working out, and…
    Well, she’s the boss in your house isn’t she?
    Or maybe she’s just from the boss,
    But it doesn’t matter when you’re always being watched, and criticized, but you deserve it, you white-guilt, Wonderbread Simon Legris cracker,
    And at home the overseer is that five foot nothing harridan,
    You walk on eggshells in your own home,
    And hold your shoulders up at your ears,
    And pay to have lies and libels about yourself piped into your house so that your wife and children can be even more thoroughly hypnotized to despise and resent you
    But at least there is also nogball piped in for you to cheer on (personally I wouldn’t watch that shit unless they were passing around sticks of lit dynamite)

    Well, that’s how it is,
    the State is the head of your family now,
    So you’ll accept it,
    And be careful in public not to manspread!

    Oneitis is a debilitating mental disease,
    That induces psychological micropene,
    And makes the man think,
    I have a duty, there is such a thing as loyalty you know,
    One day I will receive my reward
    What fucking reward you idiot?
    Your kids (are they even yours?)
    Don’t respect you,
    To the wife you are a eunuch,
    There’s your oneitis your fool!
    The wife who deceived yo for two years of a five year marriage!
    A marriage in which she spent 18 months pregant!
    I’d guess others guessed have worked that gash more than you ever did!

    What care has your oneitis ever had for you?
    She caught cum from other guys
    (you think only one? Because with shoplifters it’s always “this is the first time I did it, I swear”)
    And then, without warning you, let you put your unprotected dick into that filthy stew of other men.
    So tell me, what care has your oneitis ever had for you?
    (And this is not even to mention microchimerism)

    I wonder what she thought of you then,
    When with the other men.
    I wonder what she said about you,
    To the other men,
    Or perhaps she said nothing,
    Since you were simply irrelevant

    So take this queen of your heart by the hand
    And go to a marriage counsellor,
    And find out what you did wrong,
    Maybe this time you can do it right,
    Ask your wife,
    How did they fuck you dear?
    Like this?
    Is this better?
    Am I pleasing you yet?

    Beta! Does this vision not turn your stomach?
    Or has the poz entirely destroyed your healthy disgust reflex?
    And if your disgust reflex is so entirely disarmed,
    What poison won’t you now drink,
    You stupid sap?

    And this is the standardless example that you would set for your children?
    Wouldn’t it really be better for them if you didn’t go back?
    At least let them grow up with some ability to be disgusted.
    Do your children a favor,
    Don’t teach them that the betrayal of whores should be rewarded
    With loyalty and devotion.


  64. on December 2, 2015 at 4:44 am DanishDescent

    “Your brother’s wife is cheating, what do you do?”

    Hope my brother doesn’t find out that I’m fucking his wife.

    [CH: i heh’ed.]



    Life is too short to spend time with cheating girls and women. Quit! Surround youself with people who appreaciate you and don’t care for all the others.


  66. Off topic: I recently landed a job by channeling Donald Trump during the interview. I talked like him (e.g. “You know, I’m very good at…”) and even used his facial expressions. The mid-20’s HB4 interviewer ate it up. I’ve also used Jordan Belfort (the movie version) in social situations to great effect. Have I discovered a new type of game?


  67. Young man get thee and thy brother to Thailand and get him laid ASAP.

    All of his issues come from Vag deprivation. He needs multiple Vag infusions stat.


  68. Chateau, another article for you. Mark Zuckerberg letter in which he plans to give away 99% of his $45bn Facebook shares to promote equality – for real. You’ll love the language “We will give 99% of our Facebook shares — currently about $45 billion — during our lives to advance this mission.”, written by both he and his wife, funny how this $45bn is equally hers. And got to love the name of the foundation, Chan Zuckerberg, her name comes first!


  69. Also start him thinking long term and preparing for the “unlikely possibility” of divorce. Mention that men prepare for both the good and the bad that the future may hold. Probably a good idea to get that kid’s DNA tested – could cut child support payments in half for instance.

    It’ll help if he starts thinking about all the stuff he can do. Get him to focus at least a little on moving on. Your focus creates your future.


  70. I’d say divorce her and face up to rock bottom. I wouldn’t latch on to another girl as a prop and crutch, and I wouldn’t entertain the idea of keeping it together for the kids with a wife/mother like that.


    • The best coping mechanism is yourself. No substances, no girls, no props – just you and harsh reality and no one and nothing to deal with it for you. Appeal to the alphaness which won the wars and not the alphaness of today’s lactose intolerant era.


    • UKIP – I agree. Why complicate the bad situation. If everything that Padawan125 said in his 2nd paragraph is true, then nothing more need be said about it, the brother has the worst of womanhood in his own house, which can’t be no other than an evil influence on those around her:

      – Self-entitled cunt – check.

      -Excuses her own lack of moral responsibility – check.

      – Probable gas-lighting and projection (i.e. – she openly despises him, but seems to be the one worthy of despise) – check.

      – Women are extremely sensitive to, and concerned with status and reputation. If that concern does not extend to her man, then, there really is only one way to describe her in this dynamic – as a life-sucking parasite. Note that she openly despises her man. Given womanhood’s natural concern as noted here, this means that actually, he is not her man. He is her mark, her stooge – plain and simple. – check.

      – and to top it off, I bet she has poor impulse control (outed as to ongoing affair). If this assumption is accurate, that can’t help to play out in other harmful ways (to those around her) in the future. She may have drug or alcohol abuse in here future. Perhaps a propensity for squandering money in her future. Perhaps a life of prostitution in her future. etc. etc. – check.

      If everything in the 2nd paragraph is an accurate depiction of this woman, the poor brother has the dregs of womanhood on his hands. The way out for him, is to see this. Or if he sees this but is martyring himself for some reason, the he must see that his efforts as such will only serve to make the problem even more ugly for all involved.

      Pawadawn125 could perhaps help his brother by introducing him to older people that are of the twisted future that he himself will experience if he stays (i.e. – of the ilk of older witch-cunts and martyred-shell-men). Seeing is beleiving.

      Another woman at this juncture might be fun, and might boost his self esteem, but given his sad situation, will probably only serve as a distraction from what he really needs to come to grips with, and if witch-woman finds out, she will use that to twist the knife she already has in his guts. She may be momentarily be pushed off her game by such news, but given who she is (if the 2nd paragraph is accurate), that will be only momentary, and she quickly revert true to frame. She openly despises him. Game over. There should have never been a game with her to begin with. This is not good for the kids however it turns out. Sad but true. Their mother is an evil cunt. Can’t really get out from beneath that. Who knows – maybe she is so useless that she won’t take enough proper care for the kids, and he will get them in the end, but they will already be traumatized, and probably are already traumatized.

      I hope he can get away from cunt woman soon. From what Pawadan125 said, I would tend to think it best to be extremely careful not to underestimate that evil she is capable of. His marriage is a trainwreck, but really it is beause she is a trainwreck. He needs to jump off now.


      • “Note that she openly despises her man. Given womanhood’s natural concern as noted here, this means that actually, he is not her man. He is her mark, her stooge – plain and simple. – check.”

        good comment overall but this really spoke to me.

        never had a girl cheat on me as far as i know but i did have an ex who openly despised me in every other way possible. public mockery. sarcasm at every turn. slovenly appearance for me but always looked great when going out with friends. i could go on and on.

        point is, i was her stooge. i was good to her and thought i was doing the right thing by standing by her even though she was doing a half ass job at trying to make me happy. at the time i didn’t realize it but our breakup was the best thing that ever happened to me.


  71. Getting cheated on in marriage is devastating and it happened to a good friend of mine. He wanted to stay and work things out, of course this isn’t my place to tell him to leave or go. My advice, start spending more time away from the home with non-work activities that improve your personal standing; gym, exercise, college and inadvertently you will start getting around younger and hotter women. Some of these women will show you attention and slowly you will realize you have more value than your wife and this value will restore your self-esteem. When a man stays with a cheating wife it is his self esteem that gets destroyed and it his self esteem that needs to be restored.


  72. I saw a commercial for this the other day and almost couldn’t believe it. CH, there is now an APP for women to be able to text inmates! LOL


  73. There really are too many variables here to advise this idiot- how old are the kids? How many? What is his financial situation? What does he own and what is hers? I will say that the laws are against the man. He needs to at least separate from this dirty whore and see the kids regularly for his own self-respect and the kids’ respect for him and do some things he wants to do, hang out with friends, bang some tramps etc. then his eyes will start to open unless he is totally hopeless and clueless which it sounds like it may be the case. I went through the divorce thing with 3 kids in the mid-nineties, worst time of my life but I had the last laff- the bitch died suddenly in 2003. I bought a house 2 blocks away from her and the kids, banged bitches, went to rock concerts, vacation. The thing is I never remarried and I have had a great time the last 15 years. I get on my hands and knees every morning and thank the Good Lord that I’m not black and I’m not married!


  74. A similar situation happened with my youngest brother. She cheated on him years ago and left him for a shiny new boyfriend. She came back crawling on her hands and knees and he took her back. She swore she was sorry and would never do ghat again. I bit my tongue and said nothing.

    A few weeks ago she pulls off the same thing (shiny new boyfriend, ptobably a thirsty beta loser). As far as what I could do, I wrote an incisive letter full of red pillian truths publicly on her facebook wall. All of her family and friends from Church saw the post. She had tried to keep this thing a secret from the kids and everybody else.

    Anyway, I live 2000 miles from my brother. As far as counseling him, it would be difficult. He was taken aback at publicly outing the whole thing but he admitted every word I wrote was true.

    My purpose wasn’t to publicly humiliate him as a bettayed husband but to shame the bitch and out her as a scheming liar. If I hadn’t said anything, he probably would have tried to hopefully wait for her to come back and for her to come back to her sense.

    My brother is a decent and honorable man. In this day and age, that just gives license to others to take advantage of you. I, however, don’t suffer such illusions. Nature hates beautiful losers–fight dirty and win.


  75. I sympathize with the brother. One-itis is a mental block that can be really hard to overcome. Unless a guy has experienced sexual abundance in his life (which most men haven’t), it is very hard to rationalize your way out of that mindset.

    Throw some young kids into the mix and the fear of losing a relationship with them, and it’s easy to see why the brother is having such a hard time leaving his wife.

    The bottom line is: it’s over. You cannot recover from your wife having a 2 year affair. She has lost all respect for her husband and her husband will never be able to mentally get over what happened. He’s resigning himself to a life of misery an bitterness if he stays where he’s at.

    Who knows if CH’s idea will work. But, it’s worth a shot. Just the hint that there are other women out there who are interested in him might be the jolt the brother needs to take the next step.

    Padawan, if you read this let your brother know that I’ve been there. I went through a divorce with young children and it was the hardest thing I had to go through. But, it DOES get better. I miss my kids and worry about them when they’re not around (and that will never completely go away) but I have a better relationship with them now than I ever did before. Tell your brother to look at this as an opportunity — an opportunity to get a do-over and recreate his life how he wants it to be. That’s ultimately what got me through my divorce.


  76. My guess: the SIL trapped the brother in a marriage with a pregnancy and neither child is his.

    Forget about the paternity test until after he gets a suite of STD tests, including HIV.

    Remember – police reports go both ways. When she inevitably throws something at him or threatens him, call the cops. Maybe a night in the clink will make a difference in the custody hearing.


  77. The most punchable face in the world:

    Everybody who is on twitter please tell this Jew, who is such a lover of Arabs lzozlozzoz, #weknowwhatyouhavebeendoing.



  78. Your brother is afraid above all else that things will turn out bad for the kids. Divorce can be a horrible drawn out process, and I am sure that he is eager to do what he can to avoid it and the notable crushing suplex it has a on a man’s wallet.

    The focus needs to be emphasized to your brother (and he has to be made to see) that the marriage is *already* over, he just has to accept it and try to officially get out in *his* terms, not your c*nt-in-law.

    He needs to get angry about this – not in a lashing out and self-destructive way, but rather a re-assertion of his self-worth as a man and a father. Kids are not foolish, the longer he stays and the longer he draws this process out – the more the C.I.L. will walk on him. They see all of this, and it erodes the respect children have for their fathers. In other words, if you suspect that it is your brother’s position as a father that is holding him back and causing him to flounder – then you need to focus his need to take action and appeal to him in the context of his position as a father being undermined and compromised by a manipulative, lying whore.

    I’d bet my wages that if your brother began to understand the resilience of his kids to such a change and see that he could still be a better father without the distraction and undermining nature of an unsupportive wife – his fear of moving on and standing up for himself would be greatly diminished. I hope this helps, I’m sorry for his troubles.


  79. Pay an escort to seduce him and carry on an affair with him for a few months. Get one that’s just cute enough to i) not break the bank, ii) cute enough for him to cheat but not so cute that he’ll be bothered when she doesn’t want to carry it on in 3 or 4 months time (because you’ll stop paying her when he no longer wants to remain with his wife).

    At the same time as this bring him out to learn some game and get a girl himself.

    I’m recommending the escort for two key reasons. Firstly, he needs to get a taste for fresh pussy. At the moment he’s lost sight of what he’s missing. He needs to know what he stands to gain by leaving his wife and what he stands to lose by staying with her. Secondly, it doesn’t sound like he’s going to start banging new girls just because he wants to (if you even managed to convince him that he should). His transition will be much easier if he’s already getting some new pussy because he’ll be more confident and he’ll also be more motivated. But also, it’s going to be a lot easier for a cute young temptress to convince him to cheat with her than it is going to be for you to convince him that he should go out and land himself a fish supper. As soon as he puts his dick into some new pussy he’ll have one foot outside of his marriage. Probably far easier to get his second foot to follow at that stage.


  80. “I am sick to my stomach and want to repeatedly punch him in the face to wake him up.”

    Actually, you might consider trying that. Repeatedly punch him in the face (and maybe toss in some taunts if necessary) until he gets the balls to fight back and defend himself. See where this is going?

    [CH: winner. ever watch a bully taunt a nerdo repeatedly until the nerdo snaps and goes epic silverback on the bully? the nerd is never the same manlet again.]


  81. The guy should embrace islam and convert to the religion of peace. His wife would be stoned to death and he would be free to get a new one.



  82. Look, women never want what they have – only what they don’t have. If they have it, they decide it’s not worth having – if they don’t, they want it. Ergo, the only solution if for your brother to take up with a younger, hotter woman and kick his wife to the curb for cheating – good to get the paternity so that he can use that against her and broadcast her sluttiness. Then he can enjoy the pretty young thing, and screw the ex whenever her wants, because after he’s tossed her, she’ll want him. Women are easy to understand and manipulate if you understand them.