Overconfidence Is The Heart Of Game: Science Edition

Yer ‘ginal aerator has not sifted through virgin forests of montes pubis without noticing a thing or two about the rhythmic ecological tickings of women. One of those tickings is the unmistakable sound of the cogwheel shift that occurs in women who have the good fortune to fall under the admiring gaze of an overconfident man.

“Over-” being the key prefix here.

As always, social science plays catch-up to the keen Heartiste eye.

study from 2012 concluded that even when overconfidence produces subpar results, its charm still wins the day. We might expect someone with more confidence than ability to underperform when pressed. The study tested that expectation and found it more or less accurate – but also found that it really doesn’t matter. Overconfidence may not shine when objectively tested, but it has a knack for seducing people to such a degree that they ignore the results in favor of keeping the golden child on a pedestal.

Sounds suspiciously like women ignoring the red flags of relationship threat when they’re in love with jerkboys.

If you had to isolate why, it seems to come down to a matter of status—a commodity that overconfidence is expert at creating and nurturing. When managed well, the social status conferred by overconfidence has an aura just shy of magical, capable of keeping our attention diverted from measurable results.

Chicks dig men with social status, i.e., leaders of men and women. They dig that male character trait more than looks, money, or dependability.

That’s a jarringly paradoxical conclusion when you consider the average person’s gut reaction to “that overconfident jerk.”  How can we be both repulsed and seduced by the same thing? The question gets stranger in light of another study that showed how even rudeness gets a pass if its bearer’s overconfidence has alchemized sufficient status.

In one of the study’s experiments, participants watched a video of a man at a sidewalk café put his feet on another chair, tap cigarette ashes on the ground and rudely order a meal.  Participants rated the man as more likely to “get to make decisions” and able to “get people to listen to what he says” than participants who saw a video of the same man behaving politely. Through a few other experiments the same results prevailed – people tended to rate the rule breakers as more in control and powerful compared to people who toed the line.

Jerks are rule breakers. Rule breaking is perceived as high status. High male status is attractive to women.

And what’s the all-essential ingredient in believing oneself above the rules? Why yes, overconfidence, of course. (This may also help explain why rude sales associates outsell others at luxury stores.)

Fake it till you make it. And then, once you’ve made it, fake it even more.

Those studies circle the question of why we’re prone to falling for the chutzpah of overconfidence, but say little of why the overconfident are so good at pulling it off. The most recent study on the subject has an answer that’s not likely to lessen our irritation about this whole thing, but irritatingly makes decent sense.

It can be summarized like this: Belief sells, whether it’s true or not. In the case of overconfidence, the belief in one’s ability—however out of proportion to reality—generates its own infectious energy. Self-deception is a potent means of convincing the world to see things your way.

Inner game. You won’t succeed with women until you first internalize the belief that you CAN succeed with women. And are DESTINED to succeed with women. Another term for this is ABUNDANCE MENTALITY. When you start to believe that there’s a new woman around every corner excited to meet you, that no one woman has a monopoly on specialness, then WOMEN THEMSELVES will begin to believe that about you, too. It’s as if your self-enlarging belief system is carried aloft on an ether of sexy vibes that women can sniff out from the dispiriting miasma of beta male self-doubt that permeates their existence.

While we may not like that conclusion, it’s difficult to argue that it isn’t in evidence around us every day. People who don’t believe in themselves—whether that belief is well-grounded or not—aren’t likely to convince others to buy in.

A better description of the beta male mindset you would be hard-pressed to find.

What the latest study and elements of the others are telling us is that self-deception is an especially potent brand of status fertilizer. When packaged with personality, it makes others want to believe even when the results would counsel otherwise.

Game is applied charisma. Charisma is status + a charming personality. These characteristics will lift an ugly man to a desirable man in the hearts of women. A false belief in your allure as a womanizer will become a true belief in time, and you can thank women’s loving assistance for the evolution.





Comments


  1. […] Overconfidence Is The Heart Of Game: ❤Science❤ Edition […]

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  2. on October 15, 2014 at 1:13 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

    most menz fake it til dey make itz
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    gives da gbfm her O face!
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    • on October 15, 2014 at 1:14 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      she shows da gbfm her o face
      every time
      three points
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      lzozozozozo

      Like


    • on October 15, 2014 at 1:16 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      da gbfm techniques are bi-winningz loooozozo

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      • on October 15, 2014 at 1:36 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

        How to score with green eyesys ladies every timeszlzolzozlzo!

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    • on October 15, 2014 at 1:47 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      the feminizmizmtz movementz summarized:

      zlzoozozozozzolz

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  3. “overconfidence is expert at creating and nurturing.”

    My relationship with every female authority figure.

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  4. hey guys trouble– the Pudge PDX fatass pinup calendar is not on track to meet its goal, go donate today!

    https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/pudge-pdx-body-positive-plus-size-pin-up-calendar

    i guess in seriousness it’s a nice surprise that in portland they didn’t get a million dollars to celebrate looking disgusting

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  5. I’ve struggled with the over-confidence question for a while now. It’s not that I don’t whole heartedly agree with the premise or its application. The difficult part is that it runs counter to so many of my other personality traits – traits which I believe are fundamentally male, so I assume other guys out there are struggling too.

    These traits are, to sum it up in a single phrase, are “objective assessment”. Basically the ability to look at something and be objective about it – even if you have some kind of vested interest. It’s what motivates you to re-write a report even though a part of you wants to say: “it’s the best damn report ever”, even though it’s not.

    Overconfidence clearly has its benefits, but it’s not so good when undertaking a more easily assessable task, such as building a bridge or skydiving. The last thing you want is an overconfident sky diver, surgeon, architect or engineer, because when the patient dies or the bridge falls down, it’s going to be pretty hard to convince everyone that everything’s fine and you’re still the man.
    I guess that’s why overconfidence exerts its power in areas where the ability objectively assess is weak. Did you buy the best car? Who know but that salesman sure convinced you! Am I an Alpha male? Who knows but, this chick sure thinks I am!

    Over confidence and game can be a little confusing because if you use overconfidence to game girls and the girls sleep with you then your initial confidence is validated such that the original “overconfidence” may simply have been normal confidence.

    But leaving these circular arguments aside it definitely pays to be overconfident. The problem is that most guys have nothing to be overconfident about. The bell curve dictates that they are average. So couple this with the preponderance for (some) male minds to be keen objective assessors and it really foregrounds the disconnect between reality and the “overconfident” reality you should be projecting when gaming girls.

    In and of itself this is simply a re-formulation of the fake-it-till-you-make-it principle. However the problem is that for those guys who are keenly objective, overconfidence builds incongruence. Being incongruous can be real game killer because it not only throws off your “natural vibe” and authenticity but it leads to incongruent actions and statements which can come off as weird or try hard.

    What compounds this incongruence, I believe, is that guys, with their “objectivity radar”, can sniff out the overconfidence of other men. It’s somewhat surprising and maybe an exception to the rule that women are the best at sniffing out beta behavior, but I can tell when a guy is full of shit. I can tell when he’s bragging and trying to DHV where no basis exists at all. Yet girls lap it up.
    I think it’s because men operate in world of objective reality, whereas for women reality and perception seem to coalesce. That’s why women obsess over Facebook. It’s not enough to be objectively beautiful; people have to perceive you as beautiful. And conversely if you’re not perceived as beautiful then you’re not objectively beautiful. For men’s it’s more concrete – I’m a good guitar player whether people know about it or not.

    At the end of the day you have to be overconfident with girls. It’s simply too powerful a force. What you need to work on is pushing aside that feeling of incongruence. Yes you are acting more confident than any objective measure would dictate. Yes most of your guy friends would see right through it and if you acted that way when you met them you probably wouldn’t be friends. But for the girls you are gaming – you are literally altering reality.

    Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.
    Neo: What truth?
    Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
    Neo: There is no spoon?
    Spoon boy: Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

    [CH: In short:

    The perfect is the enemy of the poon.]

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    • Great comment. I identify with much of this.

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    • “What compounds this incongruence, I believe, is that guys, with their “objectivity radar”, can sniff out the overconfidence of other men. It’s somewhat surprising and maybe an exception to the rule that women are the best at sniffing out beta behavior, but I can tell when a guy is full of shit. I can tell when he’s bragging and trying to DHV where no basis exists at all. Yet girls lap it up.”

      That’s probably the heart of the matter.

      I knew a guy like this growing up who was 100% self-promotion and 0% substance. Flabby manlet with no intellect, accomplishments, or wealth to speak of, yet was superficially convinced he was undeniably the shit.

      A few betas would lap it up and follow his lead. Others eventually saw beneath the veneer and wouldn’t hesitate to punk him out. Mixed success with women, doing decently in attracting some, but ultimately having the omega tendencies for serial one-itis and a fixation on finding love which would repel said one-itises. All likely due to an immense lack of self-love, leading to the aforementioned undeserved overconfidence as a salve.

      Moral of the story is be proud of who you are and what you’ve done, perhaps overly so if you need to turn on the swagger and embellish to close a deal.

      But above all focus on developing things to actually have confidence about, because if you’re all substance and no show you’ll get exposed for only being a shell of a man by women and compatriots, eventually.

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    • You should think of overconfidence as a necessary but insufficient condition of real-world and game success.

      Just think of it in terms of poker. Let’s say you were dealt 72-offsuit (the worst hand in poker). Objectively, you are going to lose most of the time when you have to play the straight-forward game. Think of this as the “real competence” aspect of life. If you choose to bluff, you now have another way to win. Think of this as the “overconfidence” aspect of life.

      So, let’s say you are a mediocre — but overconfident — engineer. How many overlings do we know of that underlings consider to be “far less competent?” Many. How did they rise to the top, despite these shortcomings?

      They knew when and how to bluff. It’s actually really easy to do this, and naturals seem to learn this lesson early on in life. You pick a sperg-nerd to be your intellectual horsepower. You have him do the mental heavy lifting for tasks beyond you (the situations where you are dealt 72o). You adopt a “I could do that, I just don’t wanna” attitude. You then pick relatively easy or straight-forward tasks to take on yourself to demonstrate your “competence,” so that others buy into the “I could do that, I just don’t wanna” attitude (the equivalent of showing your pocket Aces every now and again so that your opponents don’t think you’re bluffing all the time).

      It’s somewhat surprising and maybe an exception to the rule that women are the best at sniffing out beta behavior, but I can tell when a guy is full of shit

      It’s not an exception. Self-belief regulates the perception of others. Leaders need this skill. Being an egghead, by itself, isn’t useful for crowd control, believe it or not. The leader can just pick your brain then advise the crowd, who will listen to the leader because the leader — and the leader alone — makes them feel safe.

      And if you think men are immune to the effects of overconfidence, then you haven’t taken a close enough look at social dynamics.

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    • “What compounds this incongruence, I believe, is that guys, with their “objectivity radar”, can sniff out the overconfidence of other men. It’s somewhat surprising and maybe an exception to the rule that women are the best at sniffing out beta behavior, but I can tell when a guy is full of shit. I can tell when he’s bragging and trying to DHV where no basis exists at all. Yet girls lap it up.”

      Interesting. It is true, every time a guy tells me another guy is a bullshitter and I think he’s charming and sincere… the guy is usually right. All my girlfriends liked my one friend’s boyfriend, while the guys warned he was an asshole. The guys were right.

      And it’s true for women as well. We can see a shallow phony in a beautiful girl, where the guy just sees a sweet and friendly beautiful girl. And no, it has nothing to do with jealousy, I know MANY beautiful girls who are delightful and awesome girlfriends.

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      • on October 15, 2014 at 6:27 pm cointelproagent

        Are you the tubby at the end?

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      • Actually, I can see most women phonies as well. If I’m the only person asking about the other person, then she’s shallow. Self-absorbed. Etc. Probably most women, actually. I can’t think of many who have asked me questions about me.

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    • on October 15, 2014 at 3:32 pm Reformed Hippie

      this. Men HATE overconfidence in other men because for most of human ancestry one over confident dude is going to get the whole group killed. Also, the nature of male competition and hierarchy is such that for the most part no on is the best for all that long so the best response to this behavior in men is to wait and allow the guy to eat his words. Girls don’t get this at all and because they can’t see the guy subtly losing status for being an ahole above his station they instantly read alpha. But quite simply, women NEED the absolute best genes, so the first step is to disqualify men who don’t believe they are the shit.

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    • I can tell when he’s bragging and trying to DHV where no basis exists at all. Yet girls lap it up.

      Really, it varies. And it depends on their station. If a low-class guy shows up with a “yo i da man” attitude in a middle-class setting, no, that won’t work. They’ll call bullshit right away. If a guy with middle or upper-middle-class manners shows up, not only with confidence but also with the right intelligence and charm to display value, then it works.

      If a 45-year-old man sits down next to a twenty-year-old girl and her friends in a coffee shop, asking “Heey what are you gals talking about?”, then his overconfidence will get him nothing. Go away, grandpa.

      So it’s one factor, but it’s not all there is.If confidence was all you needed, then I know some idiots who would score easily at night clubs, but who are instead known as “that creep” that women talk about behind his back.

      [CH: confidence isn’t what we’re talking about here… it’s OVERconfidence. that is, irrational confidence that has no objective merit. it works, studies prove it. of course, overconfidence absent any social savvy isn’t going to turn a man into a lothario on its own (although it will get him laid more than being a self-doubting wallflower). overconfidence plus social awareness and game is the ladykiller combo.]

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      • Really, it varies. And it depends on their station. If a low-class guy shows up with a “yo i da man” attitude in a middle-class setting, no, that won’t work. They’ll call bullshit right away

        Ya, that’s why the ‘bring tha movies’ guy wasn’t fucking both a low-class and middle-class white cutie, right? Whether the crowd knows it as braggadocio, cockiness, or swank— all girls like swag.

        Delusions.

        So it’s one factor, but it’s not all there is.If confidence was all you needed

        No one says it’s “all you need.” It’s a lot of what you need, though. Like I said, you should analogize it to IQ or something.

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      • Really?A 45 year old dude can’t get young pussy?

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      • “If a 45-year-old man sits down next to a twenty-year-old girl and her friends in a coffee shop”

        lolol. more to learn than you have years twitching, boy.

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      • I know what you were looking to convey Arbiter, that an older dude can get shut out as creepy. Can happen no doubt.

        But if you have some game, not so much. There is a lot of authority, maturity and experience you convey as an older guy and when that interjects with totally out of place sexualizing it can trigger instant tingles…

        At a hamburger shop this summer, group of four young German tourist girls… maybe 20YO sitting next to me. I open them with “Oh you’re from out of town, how do you like X?” We talk a bit and I segue to “I know a little German but need some practice” and throw out some college German.

        They start having fun correcting me and I am intentionally mispronouncing some words. Then I say teach me something. They are all engaged now, but with me as an older dude, defenses are low. One of them gets up to get more ketchup or something. I ask the others, “tell me how would I say…. “You have a very sexy ass?” and nod towards the girl who got up… They burst out laughing and grow a bit crimson as I have them repeat it to me over and over.

        The friend comes back and I say “guess what your friends here just taught me” she says “what” and i say “You have a very sexy ass” in German (wish I remembered it) with requisite smirk and eye contact… Of course she cracks up, arm punch etc. Tingles all around. Then they wanted to know good bars to go hit. Zero creepy old man vibe… it’s overblown.

        Enjoy the little things.

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    • on October 16, 2014 at 6:04 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

      I had this problem when applying for jobs as a university freshman. I couldn’t stand there and ramble on in the cover letters about my strong marketing skills and passion for sales or whatever the job was about with a straight face. You only have to accept the fact that there’s nothing intrinsically bad to lying.

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  6. on October 15, 2014 at 2:28 pm cgiisntforyou

    Why irritation of the whole thing? It’s far from easy to pull that overconfident act consistently if you aren’t even confident. That whole thing of thinking you are the prince charming and shit, I get it, but if you don’t have anything to support that belief, at the small amount of pressure, you will forget you are prince whatever and transform to smigel. You need to do work to feel that way. You need to have more to you than studying or working, something that shows that you are not the common guy. Then you will be able to pull that overconfidence act more easily due to being more confident. And it will seem even more natural. Just understand when and with whom is appropriate to pull that of. Confident normally does the work. The over confident is just for some special cases.
    So I read ” the most recent study on the subject has an answer that’s not likely to lessen our irritation about this whole thing..” I don’t think is irritation but confusion. This is not the scientific, hyper mega precise answer of why do we feel attracted to those people but I think it’s a good try. It is, and it always was, that people are afraid of what other people would say of them, people are afraid of not being right, unsure of the right decision, not standing for what they believe, you tend to walk on eggshelves, ones more than another. So when it comes a overconfidence person, of course we get a feeling of amazement. For what we see this person can confidently confront things. Do they even think they are like that? were they born like this? do they even know that they are highly confident? That is were it comes the “irritation”, which in the end is confusion and wonder. I get it.
    To all the questions above, yes, they do know all this things, ones more than other, but they all have fears. There are situations where they are more comfortable than the majority and then few ones that they are not. But the overall belief that they have is “FUCK IT” and being able to not take yourself so seriously, please don’t be that guy.

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    • That whole thing of thinking you are the prince charming and shit, I get it, but if you don’t have anything to support that belief, at the small amount of pressure, you will forget you are prince whatever and transform to smigel. You need to do work to feel that way. You need to have more to you than studying or working, something that shows that you are not the common guy. Then you will be able to pull that overconfidence act more easily due to being more confident. And it will seem even more natural.

      Yes. Yes. Yes. I have always said this about the “fake it til you make it” advice: for most guys it will be fake it til you break it. The bubble will burst.

      [CH: that’s your hope. but experience says otherwise. overconfident men carry their special brand of charm with them through life.]

      Much better to teach guys to do something that they can base their confidence on. Work out and build something with your hands.

      [again with the false dichotomies. cultivating a jerkboy air of overconfidence and picking up a hobby on the side aren’t mutually exclusive pursuits.]

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      • Overconfidence is to success with women what g/IQ is to success in academic pursuits (according to a lot of people around here, anyway).

        The controlling ability is g, and there are skills that g greatly aids. You’re just telling guys to focus on the skills. If you tell them to do that, then they will perform well in very limited conditions — so long as they have a six-pack, so long as their hair is just so, so long as they’re talking about economics, etc. etc.

        Overconfidence will cause you to start bettering yourself anyway. You’ll start pursuing your passions and hobbies, etc.

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      • on October 16, 2014 at 6:15 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

        Didn’t yet find the part where overconfidence burns me. I only had people tool me about my modesty and I tooled them back for their inane remarks. I noticed a correlation between how little of a fuck I give about what others think + how confident I am and the amount of IOIs I get.

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  7. To build confidence, think of something you do really well. Doesn’t matter whether it’s making a delicious omelet or writing a great essay or diagnosing computer problems, whatever. Magnify this true and objective greatness you possess and apply this feeling of confidence promiscuously and liberally to every other aspect of your life, like it’s this amazing secret you possess and that if others knew about it they would love and admire you for it. But keep it in your pocket, don’t go around blabbing about your greatness — just understand and know that in some way you are amazing. Yes, it’s not rational, but then neither are slits.

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  8. It works for women too, if it manifests the right way.

    [CH: women have a looks tax that, if not paid, will result in repossession of their overconfidence assets.]

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    • Yes sir, but if you have a choice between a happy, confident 10 and a sad, needy 10, of course you’ll pick the happy one.

      [CH: hm, i’m not so sure about that. happy over moody and depressed? yes. assertively confident over femininely needy? no.]

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      • That’s why I qualified confidence with “if it manifests the right way.” As in happy-confident. You can say looks trump all, but in my experience men like smiling, happy, approachable girls, not sad or bitchy looking ones. And it’s easy to be happy and feminine, too. Happy doesn’t mean I don’t like or need men. It just means I like life.

        [CH: smiling happy approachable homely girls get put into men’s friendzones (femmezone?). confidence is really extraneous on women as it pertains to their chances to snag a good man.]

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      • More confidence in women, for whatever reason, also makes them come off as either sluttier, or dykish.

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      • Amy, just go make the chateau a tray of sandwiches… geez, Louise, woman!

        (((shakin’ mah haid)))

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      • Confidence will generally make you more popular with other women. Shy, attractive women often come across as aloof to other women. Confidence doesn’t seem to appeal as much to men, although maybe shy men like it.

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    • Somebody (gasbuttox?) tell Amy confidence isn’t all that sexy in a woman.

      Sigh.

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    • Sandwiches?? I’d cook for you. Well, I’d cook for SOME of you. Lol

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  9. I guess I’ll just leave this here. Gotta wonder about all the variables we don’t get in the article:
    http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/10/15/edmonton-man-walks-into-police-station-craddling-his-son-and-confesses-to-strangling-wife/

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    • This is really tragic. This man was facing losing his “wife” and his son to another man. You have to be really out of touch not to realize how a crime of passion occurs. People have this idea that men don’t bond with women and children like women do, but that’s not true. They do. And you can’t separate them without negative repercussions. Just last night a former student of mine hung himself after a domestic dispute with his wife. They were young and had a two year old. I just know in my gut that she must have been wanting to leave him. He took his life because of it. He was a great kid – really kind- with a real sense of humor. When I taught him, I’d encouraged him to do stand-up at a local comedy club. He did some riffing during our class once. Its really sad. He would have been about twenty-three.

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      • He hanged himself? That is tragic. I wonder how it must feel in order to do that. To end your life to get rid of the pain.

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      • Yes. I probably shouldn’t post details, but it all went downhill fast. There was the fight, a car chase, and the discovery of him all within two hours. Its just bad. He may have been trying to kill her (their child would have been in the car too) and then killed himself because of that.

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      • on October 16, 2014 at 6:34 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

        If he wanted to kill them while driving, he could have. All it takes is accelerating for between 8 and 18 seconds depending on your car and a bit of pulling the steering wheel to the left until you’re on the wrong way. Do it on some road between cities where people travel at 60mph or higher and your cars will release upon impact the same energy you’d release if you hit a wall at 120+mph.

        This is the energy released in a headon collision if each vehicle is doing 60mph.

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      • What color was he?

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    • on October 15, 2014 at 4:35 pm Carlos Danger

      Stories like this are why I have a hard time not thinking women are evil. I give some the benefit of the doubt, but they have to earn it.

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  10. I follow CH religiously but the sheer volume of wisdom to plough through each day is staggering… it’s the third post today

    I remember CH’s post from 2008 mentioning sth about the possible book release, have those plans been deep-sixed already by the God of Game Chateau?

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  11. For the logical types who have trouble with being more confident than a logical objective analysis of their value would have them believe is justified:

    I would simply suggest that the more you go out sarging and the more people from a variety of walks of life you approach and genuinely interact with, the more you’ll realize that your assessment of your value was 1) based on the wrong value system, usually one conditioned into you by society instead of created by your own life experience, and 2) severely underestimated, and that your assessment of other people’s value was 1) again based on the wrong value system that ultimately with time and experience you’ll come to disagree with, and 2) highly overestimated.

    Bob the Accountant and I both make idle chat about the weather with a store clerk. Bob sees that interaction as just random meaningless fluff and believes that what he just did offers no value whatsoever, and that a “cool” guy would have blown that clerk’s mind with positive emotions and had him rolling on the floor laughing etc. So Bob doesn’t feel justified in feeling overly confident and high-value.

    But I see that interaction as meaningful…that store clerk is probably bored off his ass, he probably didn’t dream of working there when he was growing up. He’s probably dealt with a bunch of retarded customers today. Maybe he knows being a little friendlier and more social will help make customers return to him and increase his business but he’s naturally an introvert and defaults to not saying much and kicks himself after customers leave because he was too inside his head to start a conversation. Maybe he’s tired and just needs a break because he works 2 other jobs to feed his kids.

    That idle chat about the weather that I make with him, especially if I can slip in a little joke or observation that makes him smile or chuckle or even give a simple genuine laugh, could be the best part of his day, maybe even his week or month. Maybe it gets the ball rolling for him to be more talkative to his customers. Maybe he repeats what I said to another customer and makes that customer laugh. Maybe it takes his mind off his problems for 2 seconds or cheers him up after a rough day.

    So when I make idle chat, I feel like I’m giving a lot more value than Bob feels he’s giving. When I approach a girl at the bar, I’m bringing her TONS of value, I know I’m offering her an amazing experience and laughs and fun and gina tingles etc. She may not take me up on that offer, but in my mind that’s what I’m bringing to the table. It’s like I’m going around handing out bags with a million dollars in them to people. So of course I’ll feel insanely confident and high-value about that…in my mind, I’m making people’s life better.

    But Bob often feels like what he’s offering people isn’t worth much, and he feels like he’s approaching people asking for money from them instead of offering it. So he doesn’t feel justified in feeling confident and high-value because in his mind he doesn’t deserve to feel that way.

    Then Bob looks at other guys who are “cooler” than him, and he assumes they must be offering millions of dollars to people because he views them as better than himself. But if Bob met enough of those other guys, he would see that they’re really not doing much more than making idle chat about the weather, and in fact they’re often not even managing to do THAT much…if Bob could really, truly objectively see what other people offer compared to what he’s capable of offering, he could see just how high-value he really IS.

    Society doesn’t want us to feel high-value. It wants us to always feel bad and like we aren’t good enough. The entire marketing/advertising industry is based around “sure, you felt good in those shoes before, but guess what those shoes are no good anymore, you need these NEW shoes if you want to feel like you have value”, and we’re fed positive reinforcement by a beta-izing society that tells us we should always be humble and never brag etc. because we should be ashamed of being cocky or scared to risk offending someone by seeming arrogant.

    So we learn to de-value what we ACTUALLY bring to the table, and that makes it hard to see how much we really have to offer the world around us.

    And I’m just talking about making idle small talk with a clever joke thrown in. I’m not even talking about DEEPER shit like getting the cabbie you’re spending 10 min in a cab with to talk about his marital issues and his personal fears and doubts about his upcoming fatherhood, or getting the stripper to chill at your table and tell you about her real life because she trusts that you’re the one table she can let the stripper persona down around, or bonding with that store clerk over what it’s like to start a business or move to a new place to try to start a better life and swapping stories with him that make him feel like he isn’t facing shit alone.

    When you really understand just how much value you’re offering people by understanding social dynamics and how to build rapport/comfort and bond with people and make them feel deeper emotions than other people do, it’s very easy to justify feeling more confident than people subscribing to the value system of “what car do you drive? how defined is your 6-pack?” believe you should be allowed to.

    Human beings want to make a connection with other human beings. Making someone feel like you understand them and they aren’t alone, and being able to guide their emotional state into a positive one is valuable as FUCK. It’s fun, too. If you haven’t been going out, or you’ve been focused on pickup but only on the “getting pussy” side of it, you’re not getting the full experience of what understanding social dynamics offers you. You’re Superman using his heat vision and super-breath, but not realizing he can fly.

    I call it delusional confidence because the term is funny to me, but in my head my delusional confidence is really just an accurate assessment of my actual value based on an internal value system that was forged through forcing myself to collect massive social experience. By society’s value system I don’t offer much compared to most guys, but society’s value system is warped and twisted and based on pitting people against eachother instead of helping lift eachother up…I’m alright with being low-value in a system like that and high-value in a system like mine lol

    Like


    • Yareally, honest question – you’re at complete freedom to discard of course.
      How come a person who has this great understanding of human dynamics such as yourself couldn’t turn it into success in the business world. Apologies if I’m mistaken here, but I’ve read most of your postings, and my understanding is that you make modest earnings sufficient only to live by, but nothing over that?

      [CH: i know some really creative and smart guys who haven’t achieved much conventional success. sometimes it comes down to the turn of the cards.]

      Like


      • @Naz

        http://yareallyarchive.com/2014/9/#comment-heartiste-616681

        The tl;dr version is that I spent my 20s hyperfocused on pickup and I’m just now starting on my career aspirations. A lot of the benefits I gained from studying pickup apply directly to career success (from self-discipline to building rapport with people to understanding networking to confidence and problem-solving etc.), so I fully expect to achieve as much success as I want in life now that I’m starting to work on it.

        I’m also not attempting to become a doctor or anything where it’s required that you need years and years of study to succeed at (if that sort of career is your goal then yes, definitely make it a priority in your 20s, but also try to fit some time in for pursuing pickup…I knew a guy who admitted he only wanted to become a doctor because he thought he’d get a wife out of it and when he found game he realized he wasn’t actually meeting women and school was so time-consuming he couldn’t sarge to learn to meet women but he was too invested in med school to back out…felt bad for the dude). I’m working on running my own personal business based on interests/passions and skills I have. I probably won’t become a millionaire, but I’m alright with that because I’ll be doing what I love and making enough to live the way I like…and I have 20+ years ahead of me to attempt to turn it into something bigger if I decide to.

        And if I REALLY need money, I can always write a book on pickup lol But I like to give the information out for free because when I joined the PUA community all the information was passed around for free and that changed my life. I would also be CAPABLE of going down a lot of career paths toward something that requires social skills like marketing or politics or PR or bartending, etc., but those things aren’t my passion and one of the key things I’ve noticed is that to stay attractive long-term (like in a long-term relationship or when you’re past the point of going out to bars etc.) and overall mentally healthy is that you have to be on your purpose which means working on your personal passions. I could earn faster money doing a lot of jobs, but I’m choosing to build my career around my passions so that when I’m 50 I’m still enjoying my work and still attractive to whatever girl I’ve settled with if I decide to settle, instead of being that 50yo working for someone else in some shitty mindless cubicle job he hates but has to constantly stress he’ll be fired from or replaced by younger employees.

        “and my understanding is that you make modest earnings sufficient only to live by”

        Right now I don’t even make that lol But I’m on track to turning that around over the next year or so. I’m not out sarging as much right now because I have to put in a ton of hours and I’ve already got my pickup skills handled enough that I’m comfortable letting them atrophy a bit to hyperfocus on my career (ie – a fat guy shouldn’t be skipping his gym days, but a buff healthy dude in great shape can ease up on his gym time to focus his attention on other goals). I know and accept that I WILL lose some of my pickup sharpness and have to gain it back a year from now but that’s alright because old reflexes will come back fast and I’ll be doing it while also having my finances/career on track. In the meantime while I work I can get laid via the girls I currently have in rotation, Tinder, and whatever numbers I collect the few nights a month I get to go sarge.

        “but nothing over that?”

        I don’t need much money, I’m a simple guy and a bit of a minimalist. Most of what people are earning money for is frivolous material stuff to me…the valuable things to me in life are experiences, so even if I was making sick bank I would be spending that money on adventures and experiences, not buying a new car or the latest TV.

        (I also secretly like the personal challenge lol you blow a lot of limiting beliefs about life and your own competence/abilities out of the water when you attempt to pull girls while having no money to spend on them, not being able to afford to get wasted and having to cold approach sarge sober, having to try to get them to your apartment as fast as possible to avoid risking having to spend money on another round of drinks, dealing with “you don’t have a car??” shit-tests, own two shirts and one pair of jeans that the girls are going to see you in repeatedly (my shirt is getting holes in it now too lol) etc. and STILL succeeding and doing better than half the chodes at the bar who have all of that stuff and are still getting friendzoned and going home with their dick in their hand)

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      • on October 15, 2014 at 8:08 pm Randy the Random

        YaReally is a fucking legend. The philosophy he espouses blows away all the mainstream yoga hippie bullshit I’ve ever heard.

        Live life for acquiring knowledge and having experiences. These will lead to wisdom. Which will lead to happiness.

        The current western political/economic system is so corrupt as to be laughable. The best strategy is to not play. Slaving away to make someone else rich for the rest of one’s life is insane.

        Ironically, double digit IQ inner city minorities picked up on this ages ago. “Yamean i gots ta werk all day!?? Fuk dat sheeeeet imma deeeel”

        Like


      • Haha @yareally: this directly applies to me and find myself in the situation now. I’m about to get into medical school ($40,000 tuition a year), but since I’ve learned red pill/game (which I’m not as obsessed as others) I’ve realized that that might not be the path for me….even tho it’s right In front of me. I’ll probably end up going to med school but I’m just saying it has made me wonder big time because I know it’s not necessary and is a different lifestyle

        Also @ya really: once “buyers remorse has settled into a girl you’d been fucking…how do you redeem yourself? Is it possible to?

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      • it’s more about focus and doing the small things everyday that build up rather than just blowing up big out of nowhere

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    • nice post yareally

      i see myself in bob, as a natural INTJ personality i dont like small talk at all and have to consciously make an effort to do it. this is good motivation for me to make the effort

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      • @Naz
        response in mod

        @Anonymous
        “this is good motivation for me to make the effort”

        Other INTJs and the people around you not fortunate enough to have access to the learning resources you have access to, NEED you to make that effort because they don’t know how to themselves.

        When I approach a girl, I don’t just think “I’m gonna stick my dick in her”, I think “wow, this girl is lucky, I’m about to save her from having to talk to all these lame chodes. She probably spent $200 in total on her hair, makeup, nails, dress, purse, perfume, shoes, etc. hoping to meet a cool guy tonight and she’s stuck either not being approached or getting approached by lame-asses with no game who don’t know how to give her gina tingles…She NEEDS me to approach her and rescue her from all this.”

        The same applies to talking to store clerks and such. That’s not to say that I’m social 24/7, because I’m naturally introverted so I have plenty of days where I just silently pick up my groceries or grunt out an acknowledgement of something or say something stupid or stifled that doesn’t hit and just feels awkward etc. especially when I’m immersed in work and just heading out for a snack, but I make a conscious effort to try to do it when I remember to, and force myself to do it when I’m focusing on tightening up my pickup skills.

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      • YaReally has been a hugely influential cyber mentor to me on this stuff…

        Also a natural INTJ and hated small talk. Until I really forced myself to engage in it with strangers. I’m still not always into it, but what I’ve found is that as an INTJ I didn’t read social cues well but I do have the ability to quickly go from small talk that is on the surface to deeply meaningful conversations with people. In fact, one of the advantages introverts have I believe is that they actually prefer conversation in smaller, more intimate settings.

        While conversation in larger groups taxes my energy tremendously — mostly because the subject matter is more likely to be surface/trivial — one-on-one convos or convos with 2-3 people can get really deep and very enjoyable.

        I’ve found that from a game perspective, this can be a huge advantage as I move to discard the idle small talk quickly and get into meaning and deep conversation. It can occasionally be off-putting to some girls who like a more light and flirty interaction (something I’m slowly getting better at), but more often than not I can pull them in and have a really intimate conversation — which usually leads to them making some shockingly candid confessions about sex.

        Did it with several young, hot 20-something girls this week and in each case, I could objectively see them genuinely getting more and more into me. IOI’s… Touching the neck, licking lips, playing with their hair, fidgeting.

        As an introvert, I’m also very well read and knowledgable on a wide variety of subjects (one of the consequences of introverts having more alone time), so I can usually click with something they are interested in and they are genuinely surprised at how conversant I can be on the stuff they care about.

        A few examples (and I’ll caveat that my game is still shit): Met a hot little Asian 25 year old who reached out to me for an “information interview” as she was interested in talking with me about her career path. We talked for over two hours and ended up discussing her relationship issues, her family issues, favorite books, subjects, etc.

        Met a 23 year old by herself sitting at the bar on Monday night. Within 30 minutes she’s telling me her N count, how she likes having sex stoned, how orgasmic she is, the sexual marketplace, etc. I’m 25 years older than her, and at one point we got to talking about older men. She said, “no offense, but I couldn’t sleep with someone your age.” I replied, “I guarantee you, if I wanted to take you home I could.” She gets a coy smile and says “I suppose you’re right.” Had to catch a flight though so couldn’t close.

        It’s funny… The more I approach and can engage in convos like this, the more it boosts my self-confidence. Watching a girl get hooked on you is a huge ego boost and I’m now finding that it fills my tank more often than draining it.

        The ability to cold approach and close is still a big hangup for me, but I can definitely get them hooked if I can get into intimate conversation game.

        Like


      • @Thoroughbred
        Solid reframes all around. That’s taking what other people would see as a handicap and figuring out how to actually use it to benefit you. It’s like when a short guy realizes that his height actually makes him peacocked by default which means when he enters the room he’s going to by default get looks/attention and he can capitalize on that and use it to his advantage, whereas a normal looking guy like myself doesn’t turn heads and I have to actively get attention that comes natural to him.

        One way to look at pickup is that the entire point of pickup is to get into a one on one deep conversation with the girl. All the openers and routines and teasing and venue changing and isolating and having reasons to go to your apartment and shit is just to get to the point where you’re one on one alone…THAT’S where the Seduction actually happens. Up till that point it’s all just Attraction which is great but Seduction is the important part.

        So as long as you’re making sure to mix sexual topics into your deep conversations, you have the Seduction half of things basically covered and all you need to learn externally is how to get from “she’s over there talking to some friends and I’m over here” to “now we’re one on one with no one listening to our conversation and she can’t see her friends in her line of sight” and you’re set.

        Open, tease, tell the friends you want to steal her for a drink, get her over to the bar so she’s isolated and go into your deep stuff…don’t even buy her a drink or get her a water and tell her you don’t want her to get drunk because then you can’t take advantage of her later or you want her to remember you etc.

        By the time her friends grab her again you have a solid 5-10 minutes of deep rapport built.

        Or sit beside the girl at the bar and when you order your drink DHV a bit by joking with the bartender a bit louder than you need to or say something offensive about women and provoke a shit-test from her because you know she can hear you. Get her to turn to face you while her friends are talking to themselves.

        Again, by the time her friends grab her again you have a solid 5 minutes of deep rapport built.

        So try to focus on “how can I get her isolated and in an uninterrupted one-on-one conversation with me”, VS trying to learn ALL of the swirly twirly stuff about merging huge sets and trying to take over an entire bar as an older dude. Might shave some learning time off for you.

        Also make sure you’re adding laser eye-contact and silences to your interactions, this is another area where INTJs would have a natural advantage because it’s for the one-on-one conversation stage (a lot of extroverts are too energetic/hyper to focus on someone like this instead of glancing around the room or trying to flood out a million thoughts at one babbling quickly):

        Like


    • This comment held the treasure I was looking for.

      Like


    • Phenomenal comment. Thank you for that, many great points there.

      Like


    • on October 16, 2014 at 7:02 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

      There’s this strip bar my friends end up going to and I find it pretty lame because I’d never pay for a private dance as much as screwing a prostitute of equivalent looks(the stripping isn’t that impressive either). But I think it’s interesting to find out how the girls that work there got into stripping and what they want to do when they’ll give up stripping. I noticed it makes them stay at my table and chit chat. I was too drunk last time I ended up there to bother talking to them, but the time before I ended up talking to a stripper until her time to dance came again(a song per girl, 5 other girls).

      Regarding taxi drivers, I usually order using an app and I rate them based on how interesting they are as people too. I usually 5 star them though because I find cabbies interesting people. Since we largely don’t have immigration here, they’re not some dumb third worlders. So I sometimes end up talking to them about some interest they have, what they read about, politics, women, culture, their families.

      Sephora sales girls are nice to talk too if you buy cologne. They usually don’t know much about what they’re selling so you can DHV too by knowing the notes of different colognes or perfumes(which isn’t that hard, learn the ones of the colognes you wear lol).

      I just wish I could do this anywhere. For example, I can’t do it in hospitals or nightclubs(I used social proof when I frequented nightclubs). Some places make me stay inside my head too much. I think you didn’t make a mistake with your priorities. People focus too much on materialistic crap. I do too, but I do it mostly out of boredom. When everyone else works all day, you’re left with nothing really interesting to explore. That’s the lame part about Eastern Europe: by age 20, half of the people you know will have jobs. By 23, I’d say over 80% of them do. And you’ll hear more and more people say these words: “I used to not have money, but had plenty of time, now I have money, but I don’t have time to spend it”. I could help them with the latter. 😛

      Like


    • Thanks for this YaReally and CH as well.

      I’ve been thinking about your response and CH’s response to my original post. Your responses both have a similar theme in that both of you urge being less hard on yourself. Don’t be the perfectionist. CH says: “The perfect is the enemy of the poon”. I don’t think he means that the perfect alpha male will turn away girls, but instead that being a perfectionist, being hard on yourself, is a self-limiting barrier to overconfidence; and overconfidence is poon’s friend.

      It’s likely natural that “objective assessors” focus on the negative. After all it’s the flaw in the design that brings the bridge down, not all the good things that have already gone into it. Another issue is information asymmetry. You know about your flaws but you don’t necessarily know about other people’s flaws. As YaReally puts it, this leads you to undervalue yourself and overvalue others.

      These posts have made me change my view on the concept of “overconfidence”. It’s not some kind of fake persona or ruse. It’s the rock solid belief that your are bringing something to every interaction. Your observations, your humour, your philosophy has value so long as you believe it does.

      I no longer believe that overconfidence is irrational confidence that has no objective merit, because the ability to turn off you inner perfect and believe in the value of yourself IS the objective merit that should instill you with all the confidence you need.

      Like


      • “but you don’t necessarily know about other people’s flaws”

        of course you do. they’re all farting apes with haircuts. all have more flaws than they or you could possibly list.

        “this leads you to undervalue yourself and overvalue others”

        how the fuck do people end up like this. every stupid human ape is one tiny brain tumor/car accident away from losing all their imagined control. homosapiens are the most hilariously fragile organisms on this rock.

        “Your observations, your humour, your philosophy has value so long as you believe it does.”

        sad. why does everything need significance. can’t we do anything just because. the universe is totally indifferent to our existence. get over yourselves.

        it must really suck to wake up terrified of everything and think that any of this shit matters. if you like the way a HB looks, approach. either something will click or it won’t.

        nobody remembers the vast majority of the great men in history and no one will be around to remember any of us walking around on earth today.

        this means we’re free to do whatever the fuck we want. let the fuck go.

        Like


      • @Goose Gander
        “it’s the flaw in the design that brings the bridge down, not all the good things that have already gone into it.”

        Solid analogy, I’ll probably steal it in the future lol

        Glad my post helped. A lot of it is just internal mindsets. It’s why you can take two guys and have them learn external game (the what to say and and all that), but the guy who focuses on all the negative fuckups he makes and refuses to give himself any credit when he’s successful will take forever to improve, while the guy who just makes little mental notes of stuff to work on when he fucks up and gives himself massive credit for even having the balls to attempt cold approaching a girl or trying to pull her to bang within a few hours etc., makes massive strides and both are at very different places a year later.

        I’ve been gaming with a buddy who had massive lopsided beliefs about other guys. He assumed every guy had decent game and if a guy was good looking or dressed cool then he must definitely have amazing game and he’d back off when other guys entered his sets because he’d assume the guy has higher-value than him and the girl would want him more and he thought Vegas was full of cool pimp player dudes who were all badass like it’s a bunch of Ocean’s Eleven Clooney’s and Pitts running around macking girls.

        Then I made him pay more attention to guys in the bars and we befriended some of them and threw girls at them and we won a few battles with guys over girls and he actually went to Vegas and was shell-shocked that he didn’t see any of the cool guys there that he assumed were there, just a lot of good looking rich chodes.

        Now, because he’s got a lot more reference experience from the field, he realizes he was giving other guys WAY too much credit. Most people are just putting on a facade in public, hoping no one looks close enough to see through it. Being able to chat up strangers and make them feel good, let alone to the point where girls want to fuck you, is a rare skillset these days, especially in large cities where everyone feels isolated in a crowd.

        Like


    • ” your assessment of your value was 1) based on the wrong value system, usually one conditioned into you by society instead of created by your own life experience”

      i thought if you don’t roll at exclusive high-end clubs in the latest fashions downing the coolest booze for free pulling all the chode’s HB10s you were a loser. guess you changed your mind. what a relief.

      ” Maybe he knows being a little friendlier and more social will help make customers return to him and increase his business”

      he couldn’t care less unless he owns the joint. while you think you’re impressing him with your witty banter he’s probably thinking of new ways to rip off the boss. and if he is the boss he’s screwed because once a guy has to jockey the register in his own joint he’s already finished.

      “could be the best part of his day, maybe even his week or month.”

      get over yourself. he couldn’t pick you out of a lineup to save his life.

      ” It’s like I’m going around handing out bags with a million dollars in them to people”

      you’ve never had a million dollars. you have no idea what if feels like.

      “Society doesn’t want us to feel high-value. It wants us to always feel bad and like we aren’t good enough.”

      true. you’re one for a thousand.

      “like getting the cabbie you’re spending 10 min in a cab with to talk about his marital issues and his personal fears and doubts about his upcoming fatherhood, or getting the stripper to chill at your table and tell you about her real life because she trusts that you’re the one table she can let the stripper persona down around, or bonding with that store clerk over what it’s like to start a business or move to a new place to try to start a better life and swapping stories with him that make him feel like he isn’t facing shit alone.”

      i want the cabbie to focus on driving, the stripper to take off her clothes and the clerk to ring me up correctly. people can barely do their jobs at it is, never mind adding the distraction of people like you asking them for their life story. and avoiding the fact that we are all alone doesn’t change it. read a bit about death and the brain in your introvert time.

      “own two shirts and one pair of jeans that the girls are going to see you in repeatedly (my shirt is getting holes in it now too lol) etc”

      pretty sure all those high-end clubs have dress codes. lose all your fly stuff on the way home from the dry cleaners?

      “YaReally is a fucking legend. The philosophy he espouses blows away all the mainstream yoga hippie bullshit I’ve ever heard.”

      he’s making it up as he goes just like they are. and flip-flopping back and forth between high end baller and minimalist skittles man is a giant hole in his “i turn down hot virgins” story. kind of like how kant went from money spending beta orbiter who got a lucky drunk friend lay once in a while to the slayer that pulls 3+ new babes a week and just has to walk down the street, tap one on the shoulder and he’ll close her in a park bathroom thirty minutes later.

      when people type so much bs they can’t even remember their own ramblings it’s time to get new handles.

      “And if I REALLY need money, I can always write a book on pickup lol ”

      thanks for the rsd link. it had been too long.

      Like


      • What’s your contribution to this thread?

        Like


      • superfligh if you were a girl texting all you would get is this response

        8========D

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      • “kind of like how kant went from money spending beta orbiter who got a lucky drunk friend lay once in a while to the slayer that pulls 3+ new babes a week and just has to walk down the street, tap one on the shoulder and he’ll close her in a park bathroom thirty minutes later.”

        I never made quite this claim. But I do bang one or two new girls a week, and usually within an hour of meeting. You could too if you get off your armchair and go actually talk to girls.

        A year ago I was pretty beta, and had about 12 notches or in my life total. Now I’m well on my way to hitting 100 notches next year. And my life is hardly consumed by pickup, I actually spend most of my time hanging out with my four mLTRs (hb7-8s, 22-23 years old, good schools. awesome girls all around)

        Am I an advanced player? hell no. I have no idea how to bang a 9 or a 10, I still have a shitload to learn. But at least I have the balls to actually put in effort into improving unlike the vast majority of people who post here. I’ve learned how to do things you find unbelievable because I’m willing to take risks and try to do things like fuck a girl within an hour even if it means I might lose her.

        I honestly don’t know why you guys read a blog about game when all you’re interested in is complaining about blacks, feminists and liberals, while claiming that anyone who applies this knowledge and actually gets some success must be lying because if you can’t do it of course no one can. Finding CH actually improved my life — can you say the same?

        Like


      • @superfligh

        lol ok I’ll bite, I haven’t had a hater in a while:

        “i thought if you don’t roll at exclusive high-end clubs in the latest fashions downing the coolest booze for free pulling all the chode’s HB10s you were a loser. guess you changed your mind. what a relief.”

        lol I’ve never said that, I’ve always maintained that whatever your goals are is cool as long as they’re your goals and you’re working on them. If you want to do daygame or social circle games there are pros and cons to that in terms of learning speed and opportunity/results that you should be aware of, but whatever gets you further toward your goals is fine. And I support LTRs as long as they’re on your terms and allow you enough freedom to be happy (and don’t get legally tied down).

        But you reading my stuff and interpreting it that way says a lot about you and your own mindsets.

        “while you think you’re impressing him with your witty banter he’s probably thinking of new ways to rip off the boss.”

        Entirely possible. But personally I prefer a positive mindset over your angry negative one. I just don’t see the need to walk around with all that anger. If it works for you, you do your thing, but it’s a waste to me.

        “you’ve never had a million dollars. you have no idea what if feels like.”

        There are pros and cons to it. Just watch the instability of a lot of celebrities. People who haven’t had money tend to assume money solves all problems and having a million dollars means they’d have no more problems and just be happy all the time. People who’ve had it can tell you that there are downsides to it.

        “pretty sure all those high-end clubs have dress codes.”

        I have a dress shirt and a t-shirt, the t-shirt has the holes. I wear the dress shirt to the high-end clubs until I know enough people to wear my t-shirt. Dress codes are to keep out ugly people and people who don’t “belong” there and potential trouble-makers etc. When the staff know you or if you just approach them in a cool way (chatting up people in line helps, bringing a fun group of people with you, etc.), you can break most of the rules.

        The rules in those environments are all just an illusion. Smoke & mirrors.

        “flip-flopping back and forth between high end baller and minimalist skittles man”

        I don’t flip-flop, it’s all very straight-forward: I live a minimalist lifestyle which means I don’t have to earn much money to live comfortably, and I use my social skills to allow me access to scenes that a guy like me wouldn’t normally be in. A night out at a high-end nightclub costs me the same amount as a night out at the local pub…price of a couple beers, cover if I don’t know the staff, and the rest of the night I’m in sets talking to people. If I sarge sober and live within walking distance of the bars then I can spend pretty much nothing lol

        You just read sloppily because you want to hate me so bad that you’re cramming square pegs into round holes and exaggerating shit in your head to feed that image of me you hate. Same reason you exaggerate what Kant has actually said/claimed. It’s the same thing other guys do when they talk shit about how “YaReally says he slays a dozen 10s a night in Hollywood nightclubs and chugs million dollar bottles of chode’s champaign”. I’ve never actually said anything like that lol

        But feel free to assume the worst, it doesn’t really bother me and assuming the worst is clearly the more comfortable headspace for you. Other people are smart enough to make up their own minds about what I write and take whatever useful parts from it they can.

        Like


      • on October 17, 2014 at 9:31 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

        kant, I believe that you could do better if you routinely get girls in bed within an hour of meeting them. Otherwise it doesn’t add up.

        superfligh, even if I might agree with your philosophy, don’t you think a lot of people might offer you shit service because they can sense you simply see them as tools with no feelings?

        YaReally, I don’t see any downsides to having money, unless you’re a cretin who doesn’t know $50 million is the time when you should quit. I know this is based on your social circle and rich people compare themselves to even richer people, but the reality is that being in the top 1% in terms of wealth means you can do WHATEVER you want within reason(no 200 feet yachts lol). I’m sure Dan Bilzerian cries himself to sleep because of the downside of his wealth. There are downsides to not being a virgin loser also – money on day after pills, all the mentally taxing shit going on etc.

        And the argument about rich people fearing losing their money is the most idiotic of all: it’s like not learning game because of potential false rape allegations. No, just like being social savvy and knowing game is far superior to being an anti-social autist, having lots of money is simply awesome. The only danger is becoming obsessed with money, much like there’s a danger of becoming obsessed with getting better at game past the point where the returns in terms of happiness are worth it. Sure, I’d get used to living in a lake side villa with an indoors pool and to driving a Bentley GT. But my life would be better in the same way as it would be if I had a harem of 9s. I’d most likely get used to having them too.

        You’re free to ask exes of yours that currently date rich guys how much the money of their boyfriends carries downsides. lol

        Like


    • Outstanding post… And this is tremendous foresight and wisdom…

      ” I’m choosing to build my career around my passions so that when I’m 50 I’m still enjoying my work and still attractive to whatever girl I’ve settled with if I decide to settle, instead of being that 50yo working for someone else in some shitty mindless cubicle job he hates but has to constantly stress he’ll be fired from or replaced by younger employees.”

      Hypergamy never rests after all…

      My new opener is going to be “You look like you would like a million dollars”…

      http://giphy.com/gifs/applause-clapping-CNzD4MLrvQ1Gw

      Like


      • “Hypergamy never rests after all…”

        I would say that this is literally the most important rule guys in relationships need to understand. A lot of guys fall into the belief that their girl will always see them as the same value she saw them when they first met, no matter how lame and boring and beta and off-purpose he lets himself become.

        Then their girl trades up because the guy she’s married to 5 years in isn’t the same alpha badass purposeful guy she was attracted to when they first started dating. He calls her an ungrateful whore for cheating, but she’s just following her hypergamy the way she was when they first met, except that he let himself go thinking he had “won the game”.

        Like


      • Men just aren’t taught anymore about the nature of women, not that it is bad, just that it exists and is unchanging. Not in the church, not in marriage courses, counseling or by friends or parents…

        The blue pill male view is I chose a bride, I caught the bus, now I am going to ride it. Men are much more susceptible to “unconditional Love” thinking. we are after all the more loyal and romantic of the sexes. I keep a useful reference in mind these days, men are like dogs (loyal, obedient), women are like cats, (mercurial, temperamental, always shifting). So guys don’t treat a cat like a dog just because you think like a dog.

        In as late as the 1940’s it was far easier for guys to ride the marriage bus, because just living your life was Alpha and purpose enough. Life was far harder to scratch out, be it on a farm, or factory. The phrase “men were men” exists for a reason.

        The transition to an abundance society, leisure, entertainment and paper pushing or digital “work” has erased that distinction. Now the majority of guys are doing quite literally what used to be considered women’s work. And it is soul robbing and unfulfilling. The few bastions of a purposeful life remaining accessible to the majority of men are entrepreneurship and the arts.

        But back to the death by a thousand cuts, a LTR of consequence… Worse than Ya’s example of affair, in my mind, is the slow devolution of the relationship, not the sharp break of an affair. By the time your wife is in an affair, she has given you millions of warning signs, anti IOI’s if you will. It’s so easy for guys to miss all the fitness testing, especially with the Yes Dear and Happy Wife Happy Life memes surrounding you. You have “date nights”, you give gifts, you work “hard” at your soft job you complain about all the time, you do your share of work at home to make things easy on her, etc. and….. you keep failing shit tests and tanking her attraction to you.

        Before you know it you are stuck in a passive aggressive relationship, too entrenched for either to make the break. It’s ugly, I been there. But you can get it all back, it just requires work, just like it did in the beginning when you got her. It just requires constant Game. The short list:

        1. Women love passionate, dynamic and authentic guys. Look at your life and start making changes. You will be shocked at what a wife will go along with if you show her some passion and purpose. You can change your career, where you live, your friends etc. She wants the magic carpet ride and isn’t thinking so far into the future (tingles, excitement) and will follow you IF you can lead her.

        2. Lead your marriage/LTR. Don’t delegate your social calendar to her, don’t follow her lead, don’t be afraid to make decisions. Start right away “what should we have for dinner?” she asks, have an answer, never say whatever you want, I don’t care, shit like that. You can give her a choice, but just a couple,and use declarative sentences “I’m want steak or mexican, which do you prefer?”. Boom. Done. “what should I wear?” she asks, “wear the white jeans I like with the blue top.” Boom done. Every question is an opportunity to invoke, as Athol Kay says at MMSL a “leadership moment”. You are actually training her. And women hate to make decisions, so you are doing her a favor. None of this “what do you wanna do?”, “I don’t know what do you wanna do?” stuff. Have a 1 year, 5 year and ten year plan. Show her were you are going.

        3. Hold her accountable, call her on her shit and keep her qualifying. This one took me a while to get, but if you think about dominance and all of that, this is just an extension. She forgets to gas up the car, you have her go fill it up. She didn’t get the laundry done, you call her out on it you – “hey it looks like you didn’t get the laundry done today, what’s up with that?”, her – “Fiiiiiiiine, I’ll do it now, I’ve been busy all day with blah blah blah (slams door)”. Don’t solve her problems. This seems in contradiction to the above on leading, but leading doesn’t mean you become a patsy and fix everything for her. That’s white knighting. She will be furious most of the time you call her out on stuff, but fuck that. Just roll with it, matter of fact. Like your kid sister throwing a tantrum. When all is said in done she will respect you and appreciate you more. Give her things to do for you, compliance tests. She is at the store and asks if you need anything, always give her 3 things to get you, “Some golden raisins, a Chimay red and a pound of taylor ham”. Boom. Done. Bonus points if you can throw in a “left handed screwdriver”…

        4. Always keep a gentle thrum of dread running in the background. You are the prize, give her every opportunity to believe it. Collect IOI’s while you are out together, don’t be afraid to flirt with other women. You don’t need to be a douche and disrespect her when you are out together, just don’t shy away from female attention. Spend some nights out with your buds, in places with women. Tease her friends. Stay as fit as you can, as close as you can to the shape you were in when you met her. Wear close that fit you and look good on you. If it’s jeans and a t shirt that’s fine, fit and color are most important. Pre-selection goes hand in hand with hypergamy.

        5.Keep the sex exciting, positive and frequent. It’s hard man, hard to break out of routines. Hard to keep things fresh when you have fucked a girl 1,000 times… But it’s your job. Do it like a boss. Continue to introduce new things that you are interested in trying or that you think she would like. You can’t look to her to take the reigns here. Just like you want to leave a new girl feeling breathless in your wake, same for the wife. Keep her filled up.

        There are endless nuances and permutations of the above, but these are the short simple steps all guys going into or in LTR’s need to know.

        Like


      • Sent says: “Hypergamy never rests after all…”

        YaR says in response: “I would say that this is literally the most important rule guys in relationships need to understand.”

        If your wife/gf isn’t insecurity-testing you, she’ll be 5h1t-testing you. Because hypergamy. Soft Dread is required for all LTRs. If you don’t get this, hypergamy will doubtlessly torpedo your LTR.

        My wife just hit me with an insecurity test because she knows that I’m going out dancing without her again tonight. Her latest illogical objection is that I’m unfaithful because I’ll be touching lots of other women. She conveniently forgets that she was in a dance lesson four days ago where she touched over ten other men. It’s all illogical and she just needs comfort. I’ve been providing comfort, but insecurity rears its head….

        We’re scheduled to go out dancing together tomorrow night, so she should be Ok by then. I try to make sure that her dance experiences with me are fun, but aiming for the occasional fantasy.

        Like


      • @ YaReally, HABD, etc.

        Last night I was dancing in a studio with a very beautiful, hypermammiferous, newly divorced, 25ish, slim, petite, blonde and she gave me the boob brush twice, along with continuous smiles. Her boobs seemed to be everywhere when we danced. We barely conversed, but she still seemed very flirty.

        Is this sort of thing common for you on first meeting women? The boob brush seems par for the course any more, but I didn’t expect this from a 9-10ish young woman. I think that she danced with three men during practice time, including me. I barely conversed with the blonde. Was this a come on so that I would ask her to dance?

        She said that she dances professionally. I thought–maybe with a pole? I didn’t think that strippers were all that beautiful.

        Like


      • “Hypergamy never rests” can be at times a taskmaster but is, in the end, a beautiful thing so embrace it

        Like


    • @YaReally – funny you should mention the cabbie example – I was in one the other day and he saw me making out and getting out the tits of a HB8 and after we dropped her off he commented on it, and I can’t remember the exact response I gave, but basically instead of blowing him off with something flippant, I gave him a serious, “authentic” answer about what I genuinely thought.

      And that sort of launched a 20 min conversation which led to him really opening up to me and telling me about his divorce, his affair, going back to his wife, the impact on his kids and so on – and I’m a total stranger.

      It’s a funny feeling – a key focus point for me now is learning to build rapport (not just with girls) and for all the effort, it just happened that night with zero effort when I was half-drunk and a bit horny just because I responded very seriously to the cabbie’s initial remark..

      Like


      • That is an interesting story. Encounters like that are enlightening. It must have been a good opportunity for him too, to get the opinion of a guy who could make out with hot chicks in the back seat. For him that must have shown your status as a man who knows women, and he would appreciate your comments on his failed marriage.

        Culum Struan – read Tai-Pan? Give him back the nine gold coins, tell him to buy himself a coffin.

        The alpha men in James Clavell’s novels are good examples for young boys to learn. There are few good role models for them these days.

        Like


      • @Arbiter – indeed. I’m a big fan of the James Clavell novels (hence my username) and I’ve often thought the protagonists are archetypal alpha males worthy of emulation (yes, even my namesake who comes across well in the first book – it’s just in subsequent books that he is painted as a loser weakling)

        Like


    • I am logical but I also know that you have to love life and experience it and know that deep down almost everyone is like this

      Like


  12. It reminds me about a friend with underdeveloped communication skills and as a result he doesn’t seem to be always fully aware of what is going on within the conversation so it looks like he doesnt give a fuck about what people say.
    Funny to watch and, surprisingly, some chicks even bite into this so yeah, fake it till you make it.

    Like


  13. The main symbol on the flag of Kurdistan is a rising sun. The Kurds have recently put up on u tube a bit about a female voice singing their version of that ancient 60s hit “House of the Rising Sun.” As their battle hymn for the Battle of Kobani.
    God, I love those people.

    Like


    • That’s because you’re a dumb American who reads neocon shit and never has to go near Middle Easterners. Kurds are vermin. They infest European countries where they smile their sleazy grins, trying to bullshit their way out of everything, living like parasites off Whites and raping White women. There is a reason why everybody hates Kurds. All who are forced to live near them – Whites, Turks, Persians, Syrians, Arabs.

      But now we have to listen to retarded comments from dumb neocon lovers like you who couldn’t even find Ukraine on the map after four months of daily news coverage. Oh yes – the neocon lovers were the ones who failed the test the most, even placing Ukraine in West Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia and South America. God, you morons are dumb.

      Bad thing about ISIS is that they attack the Syrian government and Shias in Iraq, who are allied with the Persians, who have stood up to the Jews by supporting the Palestinian resistance. Good thing about ISIS is that they are killing Kurds. Hope they’ll kill a lot of them.

      Like


      • It is typical for the U.S., controlled by anti-Americans, to ally with the swine in every region. Marxist, anti-White Albanians in the Balkans in order to attack the Serbs, because Tribe members like Wesley Clark, “Sandy” Berger and Madeleine Albright said “there is no room for ethnically pure states in today’s Europe” (Clark). With the corrupt leftists in Ukraine, funding their organizations with five billion taken from American taxpayers, to attack the democratically elected president. With Kurds and a Marxist-Islamist terror group in Iran to attack the Persians who are Whites’ NATURAL ALLIES in the Middle East, but who have been targeted by the Zionists and CIA who installed the shah to terrorize them. And with Kurds against Syrians and Arabs.

        The U.S. allies with drug lords and the remnants of the communist party in Afghanistan, calling them “the Northern Alliance” so dumb TV viewers will go rah-rah thinking it’s a cool name. The Uzbek drug lords had gangraped and murdered countless innocents. The Taliban ended their heroin trade that killed the brainwashed in the West – Americans made sure that the heroin trade started flowing again so more Whites could die. Americans also brought back the sex slavery where SMALL BOYS are bought and sold in Afghanistan. The Taliban had stopped it. Now, a diplomat says, all the guards at the thieving president’s palace talk about is which boys at the market they would like to screw.

        The U.S. allies with drug lords in Mali who sell drugs to the West. And with the military junta in Egypt, working with them to overthrow the democratically elected president so that the border could be closed to Palestine again to destroy what’s left of the Palestinian economy and to deny them food – living in an open-air prison on the worst land, their calories are carefully restricted by the occupiers. Thanks, Americans, for financing this occupation. I know, I know, “they hate you for your freedom”, right?

        The U.S. allied with leftist organizations in Georgia to overthrow the democratically elected president, inflate the army four times with U.S. taxpayers’ money, train it with CIA and Mossad (but of course Israel didn’t have to pay for it), and use it to attack South Ossetia, a Russian province.

        The U.S. allies with whatever criminals it can find against Putin. Including the twelve mostly Jewish oligarchs who sucked out the money from Russia in the 1990s under the completely corrupt Yeltsin, who gave them the industries for nothing. U.S. media praise the oligarchs in London and elsewhere and print whatever they say as if it wasn’t propaganda.

        And now the Kurds, of all people, are praised and presented for the sheeple to salivate over. Incredible. You’d ask for drug-dealing, rapist Gypsies to take your ass if the neocons started churning out pro-Gyppo propaganda. “God I love the Gypsies!”

        Like


  14. “Sweden criminalizes online criticism on immigration”

    The future Caliphate of Sweden thanks you.

    mises.org/books/TRTS/07.jpg
    mises.org/books/TRTS/16.jpg

    Like


  15. Confidence is such a halo effect its sickening. I’m finding it impossible to break into the loop.

    If someone was a 21 year old virgin who can’t deal with the pressures of sexual tension I would think they’re a beta loser and all that shit. So I have that belief engrained in my head, a lot from this site. Problem is I’m that guy. Talk about cognitive dissonance. It’s hard to even not loathe, let alone think over-the-top-positively about one’s self. What to do?

    Like


    • Kill something. Repeat, etc. Skin, gut and roast. Feed to friends.!

      Like


    • @A. – seriously, take a step back. make a daily & hourly effort to turn off your inner perfect, & realize you are still really fucking young lol. I ´lost my virginity´ when I was sixteen, but went through over 15 years of shitty experiences dealing with my dick that often didn´t work when I wanted it to & related performance anxiety, which I now know was caused by watching porn – which I have now quit! Every time I get with a new girl I shit myself wondering if my dick will work the first time we get together, & it often doesn´t cause I´m so fucking anxious lol. I´m 35. You´ve got plenty of time man, just start going out & being social – head out solo if you have to – that´s what I´m doing as my friends are all coupled up & married. It´s hard as fuck, but It is entirely possible for you to become extremely successful in the SMV, but you need to start giving yourself a break, make a plan & start executing the steps within that.

      Like


      • performance anxiety, which I now know was caused by watching porn

        That says more about you than porn. Who gets performance anxiety from pornography, seriously? Porn fills its function, bashing it and blaming it for one’s problems is ridiculous.

        Like


    • Fake it till you make it. everyone was a virgin once. No big deal. I guarantee if you follow the advice hear and similar (RSD, YaReally archive, Sedfast) etc. You will get good with women.

      The only thing you need to do is apply yourself. You need to do the work. But the work… works!

      Once you have a little success you will be flooded with confidence, and it’s the confidence that will radiate through all areas of your life. eventually even you will believe it.

      Do you have an experienced wing you can sarge with? If not no matter, get out there this weekend. Don’t worry about the bad approaches, blown sets or No girls… You can just turn and leave, who cares? It won’t go in your permanent file…

      Have fun. Listen to some good tunes, some comedy, sing songs have a whiskey (one) and hit it. You are the prize.

      Like


      • you also have to know what you want…be exact…what do you want in a woman…how do you want it? once you have that down pat you can set a very strong qualification frame….

        Like


    • do some self-affirmations…the mind has ways to trick itself into fooling you to think you are more than you are and this is one of many ways to do it…make a list of anything you want and read them out loud such as “I am the greatest man alive…I have sex with the most beautiful women all the time and all women can tell….All women want to have sex with me and think perverted thoughts about me when they see me…I am the most skilled lover in the history of mankind…ect….

      Like


      • to add to that confidence…or more importantly overconfidence plays out in so many ways more than just having a high notch count of a list of sexual accomplishments to fall back on…you have potential you have not yet met so milk whatever way you can to get your mind right…other ways are to break rules for no reason…not really legal rules per say but the unwritten rules…the frames people place on you in sense…such as how people try to make you feel guilty or uncomfortable for dumb little reasons that are not really your fault…turn the tables and find creative ways to make them feel like the really wankers when they are acting weird….dad noises are weird do your own dad noises back in a sense lol…do the opposite of what you are expected to do DO BE BORING BE AN ASSHOLE…

        Like


  16. You lose nothing by being a bit ebullient. It will work for a couple of weeks. Being a nervous worrier will get you nowhere.

    Like


  17. http://betanews.com/2014/10/15/keep-up-the-hard-work-and-well-freeze-your-eggs-say-apple-and-facebook/

    “Facebook and Apple, it was revealed this week, will help their female employees in the US pay for the cost of freezing and storing their eggs.

    The generous offer will provide women with a way to juggle their personal and working lives, the companies claim. It will empower women by alleviating the pressure of having children before a certain age.

    For many women, this is a positive step taken by Facebook and Apple — the tech giants are investing in women and showing they will support them. It addresses the conflict women face between hitting their career goals and a desire to start a family.

    Technology is still a male-dominated industry with clear issues around female career progression and pay equality. It was only last week that Microsoft chief executive Satya Nadella raised eyebrows by answering a question about male-female pay discrepancy by suggesting women should not ask for a raise, as it was “good karma” not to.

    By becoming one of the first employers in the tech sector to offer this, Facebook and Apple could be praised for giving women a choice and helping to remove a major financial barrier in their decision to delay having kids.”

    Like


  18. @CH I had a question for you…

    If a girl gets cool tickets to something and kinda takes you out (you lead the “date” but she provided the idea and tickets) what’s a safe next move to keep going down the right road with this. The girl is hb 9 blonde 20 or 21.

    Do you just chill and open up more, take her out, or keep playing a hard to get game? Most likely the girl will put her guards up when you keep fucking around and show no reciprocating signs, so how do you reciprocate that move by her or do you not….

    CH: what do you mean by “kinda takes you out”? if she bought tix to encourage a date with you, then by all means enjoy her magnanimity! don’t make a production out of it.

    Like


    • “so how do you reciprocate that move by her or do you not….”

      You mean, do you show common basic decency when someone buys tickets and want to go to a game with you? Do you have to ask this? Don’t you interact with people?

      Like


  19. Off topic: heartiste usually says female atheltes are masculine and ugly, but there are exceptions (or at least somewhat attractive exceptions): Paris Saint Germain female football (“soccer”) team:

    https://scontent-a-lhr.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/v/t1.0-9/1620448_487058691438576_8231473361333507164_n.jpg?oh=5d154674b4bcb9144f41f531a500d06c&oe=54AB7CF0

    If they have normal legs I’d definitely fuck the 2nd from left and the 3rd from right

    Like


  20. “Tell me exactly how optimism could help,” Creedon replied. “Let’s take cold calling, a crucial part of selling life insurance. In cold calling, you have a list of possible prospects, like the names of all the parents of new babies in town. You start calling, from the top of the list, and you try to make a face-to-face appointment. Most people say, “No, I’m not interested” — or even just hang up on you.”

    I explained that optimistic explanatory style should affect not what the insurance agent says to prospects but what he says to himself when the prospect says no. Pessimistic salesmen, I told Creedon, will say permanent, pervasive and personal things to themselves, like “I’m no good” or “No one wants to buy insurance from me” or “I can’t even get to first base.” This undoubtedly will produce the giving-up response and make it harder to dial the next prospect. After several such episodes, I predicted, the pessimistic agent will quit for the evening — and eventually quit altogether.

    The optimistic agent, on the other hand, will talk to himself in more constructive ways: “He was too busy right now,” or “They already have insurance, but eight of ten people are underinsured,” or “I called during supper.” Or he’ll say nothing at all to himself. The next call won’t be any harder to make, and within a few minutes the agent will have gotten through to the one person in ten, on average, who makes an appointment. This will energize the agent, so he’ll breeze through the next ten calls and get another appointment. In this this way he’ll live up to his selling potential.”

    Learned Optimism by Martin P. Seligman

    I read this book a while ago. Now I’m thinking it might be a game manual. You can substitute getting dates for making appointments to sell life insurance. Not the ultimate game manual, game includes a lot about the psychology of women which is not mentioned in this book. The book explains the psychology of optimism, which I’m surmising, may be the root of the irrational overconfidence discussed above. It’s optimism vs pessimism rather than confidence vs overconfidence.

    Per the book, Seligman was one of the founders of the cognitive psychology movement that broke away from the Skinner behavioralist approach to psychology. Cog psy emphasizes the aspect of inner dialogue when confronted by “obstacles” and one’s own ‘explanatory style’ for explaining life events. Do you lay the blame for failure on your own shoulders or theirs. Pessimist inner dialogue: I am not attractive to the opposite sex because I’m ‘objectively’ ugly. Optimist inner dialogue: A club isn’t the right venue for me. Do you see the setbacks in life as permanent and pervasive or fleeting and temporary so you can get up back up after being knocked down. Pessimism literally saps us of the will to win.

    He thinks for most of us optimism has the advantage. He is not anti-pessimists. He says he wants the pilot of the plane he is on to be a pessimist (an objective assessor of reality) when it comes to de-icing the airplane after it’s been on the tarmac for four hours in sub-freezing temperatures.

    ————————————————————————————————-
    In the same vein, infoproc has Adorno’s quote that fits, perhaps,

    pessimism of the intellect, optimism of the will.

    Like


  21. […] Yer ‘ginal aerator has not sifted through virgin forests of montes pubis without noticing a thing or two about the rhythmic ecological tickings of women.  […]

    Like


  22. on October 16, 2014 at 2:35 am Professor Highbrow

    I posted something along the lines of ‘When men see me, they want to be me. When women see me, they want to be with me.’ on some forum yesterday. One of the broads that posts on there replied with ‘I hope that was tongue in cheek’.

    To which I replied: ‘It’s much better to be irrationally confident than politely humble.’

    She came back with ‘Good answer!’

    Like


    • Its all fine and well to engage in ego masturbation but at some point you need to be able to deliver the goods. The internet and social media are making this less and less likely these days as fake charisma becomes the order of the day for those who would DO great and vast things.

      Everybody is walking around dressed in drag except the guy who has to make his own clothing.

      Like


    • “The tongue can go in a lot of places…”

      Like


    • thwack again. Funny how what he says always falls flat. “ego masturbation”? Highbrow posted a good and funny comment in a forum, but of course thwacky has to find something wrong with it.

      Like


  23. There is nothing like overconfidence. Men that are game examples of ‘overconfidence’ do have objective proof of their supreme confidence. Anything aside this is insanity which is extremely difficult for a sane mind to imitate.

    Like


    • There’s nothing like overconfidence. Men that are game’s example of ‘overconfidence’ have objective proofs or reasons for their attitude of supreme confidence. To do otherwise is insanity which is extremely difficult for a sane mind to adopt.

      Like


  24. Herbert Marcuse worked for the CIA. Interesting. Wonder if he ever ran into Betty Friedan at the coffee machine.

    http://www.the-atlantic-times.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=233:herbert-marcuse-and-the-cia&catid=30:life&Itemid=55

    Like


  25. Overconfidence has drawbacks. Case in point: Texas Health Presbyterian.

    [CH: sure, but pickup isn’t about quarantining ebola cases.]

    Like


  26. Very helpful post.

    CH: “overconfidence plus social awareness and game is the ladykiller combo”

    Social awareness is a problem for autists in one sense–we autists have a problem with real-time processing of social info. That doesn’t mean that we lack understanding of social dynamics. What ends up happening for me is that a lot of times I think about something that happened the night before and “Oh that’s what that was about” happens. This especially happens when I’m obsessing about which dance moves to lead, lol.

    When I’m focusing on social interactions, I’m much less likely to miss cues. When I do miss cues, overconfidence helps to paper over the voids. It gets to be two steps forward, one step back. So, autists can still play–it’s just more difficult. Overconfidence is key here for autists.

    We autists also have a big problem with recognizing convo breaks and have a tendency to interrupt. Recognizing convo breaks is also difficult for non-autists as well. They do much better at it. So, autists are at a disadvantage in convos involving three or more people. Overconfidence can help here by just ignoring objections to interrupting and reframing; some comfort will need to be provided after the interruption. (e.g., “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt, as I was saying….”)

    Like


    • “Social awareness is a problem for autists in one sense–we autists have a problem with real-time processing of social info. That doesn’t mean that we lack understanding of social dynamics. What ends up happening for me is that a lot of times I think about something that happened the night before and “Oh that’s what that was about” happens.”

      Fantastic encapsulation of social awkwardness/inability to process social cues in real time…

      Again, I’m the same way. Unless I’m really paying attention and not inside my head, I’ll miss even blatant come ons. Really cute bartender this summer… Talking with her at the bar… She gives me my bill with a sly smile… I pay it and say see you around. She gives me this curious “what the fuck?” kind of look.

      As I’m walking home I have this sense that I’ve missed something. Pull out the credit card receipt and notice that she had comped me ALL of my drinks! I didn’t even fucking notice. Go back through the interaction in my mind and realize that she was rather blatantly giving me all sorts of signals I completely missed… Didn’t even get the obvious ones.

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  27. Lol:

    “I like to think that I’ve grown up from the kid who made stupid jokes, and into a better man. Today I would call myself a feminist, which is what men’s rights activists call “beta.” So sure. If they’re alpha males, then I’m proud to be beta male.”
    http://www.nailedmagazine.com/editors-choice/sweet-potato-girl-by-rob-hart/

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    • The leftists always, ALWAYS like about their opponent. No one has ever said that beta means feminist. That’s an insult to betas. Most men are betas and do very well, just lacking insight about game. Feminists fail at life.

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      • “always lie”, of course. And it’s true. In 100 percent of cases leftists misrepresent what their opponents’ position. This is not an exaggeration. This is understandable only when you know that Marxism, the basis for socialism/liberalism/whatever is a tactic for attacking, while the Right is focused on building. It is only when you build that you need to stick to the truth and hope that you can win over the other people in society so that they will help with building and increasing the wealth. The leftists want to take the wealth that already exists, so they have no interest in getting along and will therefore attack and demonize their targets. They wouldn’t care if they would ruin society’s ability to produce wealth – which they are doing through mass immigration – as long as they can take power and the already existing wealth.

        Hence the recent lies about AmRen by professor Sussbergwitzstein – I mean, Sussman – and this lie that beta=feminist, one lie among thousands.

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  28. on October 16, 2014 at 11:12 am having a bad day

    pffft…hard to be overconfident when you are as great as i am…lol…

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  29. For the logical types (like me), it ain’t braggin’ if it’s true. Popularity is a matter of public opinion, and that moves genetic and non-genetic resources more than anything in the Decline. That is the overprivileged animalistic fact. You are not among the civilized, but among those who gave away being civilized and have some wealth yet left to play with like their instinctive puds.

    Use the actual field and frame of play. To wit:

    It’s not overconfidence if it consistently works (with the sheeple). What works is cult of personality. Among civilized men, if you know any in real life, it is not appropriate. I have yet to meet such a man in real life. Packism not = Civilizationism.

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  30. Arbiter claims the Taliban are not so bad guys, yet they use the religion of the region to oppress secularists en masse. Yes, the eradication of heroin is noble; then they declare females will not be educated, their bodies to be completely hidden from view in public, and the men should refrain from literature save the Holy Koran. If the Afghani’s were to have free will amid this pressure from the religious vs the feminist West what is there to choose? The political liberty of the West (theoretical at present) combined with the positives of their faith?
    How is that even possible to achieve? They will be ruled by one or the other, no? A Hobsonian choice. Would you say it is better for them to have no school than a Frankfurt school? Is there even a solution to the Mid- East maelstrom?
    I think a Gordian Knot resolve is the only way. YMMV.

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  31. […] recent Heartiste post confirmed that in the land of cock and pussy, the currency of over-confidence is essential. Be […]

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  32. @YaReally
    I think overconfidence can fuck up the things sometimes.
    There is a girl who offered me her help to finish some bottle of good vodka.(I didnt invite her at all). So I told her “No problem” and didnt pay too much attention to it. Two days after I texted her
    Me: “When do I see u?” (assuming the sale)
    She: Im going to xxx party on yyyyy city this sat and u?
    Me: Going to the zzz party in the xxxxx city (the oposite direction)
    She: You going and coming back the same day ?
    Me: Well, the xxxx city is not as important as seeing you (so gay)
    She: Then come to the xxx party (I will have a lot of attention in that party and If you come I will be more than happy to have even more)
    Me: But I have the vodka here (wrong, I shouldnt recall her that)
    She : Where is “here”
    Me: Where I live (not giving direct answers)

    Total silence
    I think her asd get activated because I mentioned the vodka, so I think she as a woman read my last two lines as “come here that I will fuck you after you drink my vodka”. Also I’m letting her know that Im aware of her slut behavior by offering her “help” to finish the vodka.

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