Dating In The City: A Series

More wisdom from the dating trenches of this city full of glorious yuppie headcases.

Damian: So we’re talking on the phone a bit, things are going well, and I ask if she’s free. She says “I’m busy every day this week, but next week works.” Immediately, I lose all interest in her. I tell her “Yeah, sure, maybe. Hey, nice talking to you, take care.”

Me: “I’m busy every day this week”?!? What a turnoff.

Damian: Exactly. It’s not bad enough that she’s BUSY; she has to be BUSY EVERY DAY of the week. How many froo froo dog grooming classes can one girl attend? [Damian imitating nasally stuck-up bitch voice]: “I have a Pilates class Monday, a Zen meditation class Tuesday, a Blackberry addict anonymous class Wednesday, a Yoga class to firm up my buttocks on Thursday, a Professionals in the City $500 happy hour on Friday where I practice shooting down Herbs all night, volunteer missions at the local animal shelter on the weekend, and run run runs all week long to get my chubby ass shape for the marathons that ALL the girls are doing these days! It’s just perfect! My life is SO fulfilled! I love love LOVE being a woman on the go. So many fun distractions from my childlessness. Ooo, where did I leave my pink IPod?”

***

Here’s some advice, ladies. If a guy asks you out and you’re interested, don’t tell him you’re busy. That shit doesn’t work on us like it works on you. As you are women, I understand it’s hard to refrain from projecting your female desires onto men, but step outside of your solipsistic universes for one second and try to see it from a man’s point of view. We do not get aroused by “mystery”, or “playing hard to get”, or “scarcity”. We don’t want you more because you’re unavailable. We don’t fantasize about you constantly running away to do something secretive in the woods like that dork from Twilight, and then get all excited when you show up out of the blue with a sly grin on your face, leaning against our locker.

What does encourage our ardor for you is quite simple: You, available and naked (assuming you meet our minimum beauty threshold).

If you really are “busy” every day of the week, be extremely apologetic about it. Explain that you would love to see us right now, but you can’t because you’re already committed to a bunch of crap you really don’t want to do. Make us feel like your cooking classes and seminars and book club meetings are an annoying hindrance to seeing us (which they really should be). Acquiring the proper perspective in this way will not only keep us interested in seeing you, it will help screw your heads on right and remind yourselves what is most important in life — finding a man and falling in love.

Most likely, though, you are NOT that “busy”, and instead your week is burdened with a lot of make-work pointless female timesucks to fill the dull aching void of your lives. You would set yourself apart from so many women if you said “Sure, I can see you this evening if you’d like.”

At this nadir of modern American society, knowing what we know about how cosmopolitan women spend their prime years, when men hear “I’m busy every day this week”, we quickly and justifiably assume this means she does not value a chance to be rewarded with the pleasure of our company more than she values an amateur bartending seminar sponsored by a matchmaking company in the business of bringing single SWPL men and women together. If you cannot see the irony in that, you will be alone with your ludicrous standards at the age of 35.





Comments


  1. I think it’s interesting that you reference Twilight, the uber-commercial abstinence story.

    I look forward to a High School Musical mention in your next post.

    Like


  2. Funny that I once dated a girl just like the ones you describe, who was just a complete chore to be around. She was actually considering moving to DC to for some job, haha. Why do you guys even live there? It sounds miserable.

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  3. Is he still JDating? Because these sound similar to the type of airheads my friend was dating when he was exclusively dating through JDate. After a few years though he did eventually find a steady girlfriend.

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  4. Yeah, I attempted to date a girl much like you describe (busy all the time, working her self to death, a real MBA go-getter). She stood me up for a date and then committed suicide a week later. No joke.

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  5. on December 8, 2008 at 11:42 am ironrailsironweights

    Back in my dating days I encountered a few “too busy to date” types, and to my eternal shame I was so clueless I actually believed them.

    Peter

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  6. on December 8, 2008 at 11:44 am ironrailsironweights

    I look forward to a High School Musical mention in your next post.

    Yeah, but at least with High School Musical there’s that nude (and magnificently GNP’ed) picture of Vanessa Hudgens floating around online.

    Peter

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  7. — Make us feel like your cooking classes and seminars and book club meetings are an annoying hindrance to seeing us

    Based on the fact that virtually all of my married friends bring frozen TV dinners or restaurant doggie bags to work, perhaps the cooking class isn’t so bad.

    Like


  8. i hit them with “call me when you’re free, i’ll be out this weekend.”

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  9. She stood me up for a date and then committed suicide a week later. No joke.

    The Fuck!? That’s some crazy shit!

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  10. The worst “winner” out of my friend’s JDates…one spoiled JAP who was in her mid to late 20s and still had never done groceries by herself. Living along in the city with a job but her parents still did her groceries for her or had someone do them. she laughably told my friend this on their first date like it was an endearing quirk rather than a seriousl red flag. And no, she wasn’t joking. she also claimed that she wouldn’t even know how to do her own groceries if she had to, and the thought of doing them on her own scared her.

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  11. If someone hit me with “call me when you’re free, i’ll be out this weekend” then immediately *I* would lose all interest. I could break it down for you but…I’m busy? couldn’t resist.

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  12. Just curious, I see the acronym “SWPL” on this blog pop up quite a bit, and was wondering what it meant… “Single White Professional Lady” is what I gather?

    Like


  13. So many fun distractions from my childlessness. Ooo, where did I leave my pink IPod?”

    Seeing virtually every young women in my immediate friends/family circle currently pregnant or as a new mom, I am a witness to the amazing effect that pregnancy has on a girl.

    Their mood is amazingly gentle and sweet (on the homefront anyway; I’m assuming it’s the same with others in the friends/family circle) They feel can’t wait to have the baby arrive, they don’t sweat the small stuff that had irked them before, they bond with other expectant moms they otherwise wouldn’t have had anything in common with, …. in other words, I’m seeing the profoundest fulfillment in young pregnant women who are in the right circumstances.

    Based on what I’m seeing: if any of those 27-year-old career & date & party DC women you write of felt what it’s like to carry a child, especially her first one, I believe they’d quickly arrange their priorities.

    And that’s what’s so sad. With the exception of a few ambitious, high-T, high-charger chicks (they’re out there too, all the best to them as well) these girls want to be married and have children. But they’ve been told otherwise, similar to how young guys have been told that girls like “nice guys.” Except we have more time to figure this crap out and learn Game. The girls’ window of opportunity is not as big.

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  14. SWPL: Stuff White People Like. See Roissy’s blogroll.

    It’s a parody of left-wing/liberal upper-class or aspiring upper-class whites, usually young and urban.

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  15. Brother Roissy,
    Amen. Amen!

    I truly do hope that the Lurking Sisterhood takes heed.

    Tick, tock…

    Salaam
    Mu

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  16. She stood me up for a date and then committed suicide a week later. No joke.

    Good. One less defective in our midst. Survival of the fittest still applies.

    PA @ 12:03, I couldn’t agree more. Your post is spot on.

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  17. has anyone mentioned another fun distraction from your childlessness is having a blog

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  18. Based on what I’m seeing: if any of those 27-year-old career & date & party DC women you write of felt what it’s like to carry a child, especially her first one, I believe they’d quickly arrange their priorities.

    For many of these brainwashed-by-college-and Sex-and-the-City feminist chicks, I think they’d probably look back more wistfully on their first abortion than on their first kid. There are plenty of women here who have kids and still remain as vain and self-absorbed as ever.

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  19. Um, if she says she’s busy and doesn’t offer a specific alternate time, doesn’t that just mean she’s not that into you? There’s no need to worry about her lifestyle; you just failed to attract her.

    Women give out their phone numbers to guys they don’t want to date. Digits without attraction aren’t much use.

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  20. @PA

    Amen to that. Women by nature want to procreate. But you’re right, they’ve swallowed so much swill from 40 yrs of FemNazidom their priorities are totally fubar-ed.

    This is why I think feminism is a big chunk of change in the decline of Western Civ. To tell a woman that a career is more important than breeding has pushed two whole generations to the other side of their optimal genetic window for conceiving. While not exclusively the cause of the low birth-rates of Western Civ, I can’t help but think of all the children that were not conceived as a result of the “childbearing postponed for career” reason.

    One of my most profitable investments to date has been investment in fertility clinics, especially in Europe. I regret not putting more money in when it was ramping up.

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  21. on December 8, 2008 at 12:46 pm ironrailsironweights

    Um, if she says she’s busy and doesn’t offer a specific alternate time, doesn’t that just mean she’s not that into you? There’s no need to worry about her lifestyle; you just failed to attract her.

    If that’s the case the woman should just come right out and tell the man that she’s not interested. Relying on some ridiculous “too busy” story is cowardly and unfair.

    Peter

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  22. on December 8, 2008 at 12:48 pm ironrailsironweights

    El Guapo –
    I’d agree with your analysis, except for the fact that birth rates have been plummeting in just about every country that reaches a particular level of affluence, whether or not women are affected by feminism and career choices. The birth rate has fallen below replacement levels in Iran, a country where women are scarcely treated as human.

    Peter

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  23. — look back more wistfully on their first abortion than on their first kid.

    At 30, I dated a 26-year old. She was American, very pretty feminine, a bit on the shy side, with some fluffy liberal arts degree, and certainly no Sex-and-the-City maven ambitions. But she told me about an abortion she had a few years back with a long-term boyfriends. He went in with her, held her hand, blah blah.

    She and I dated briefly, and then she went back to said original B.F.

    I wondered, what the f*ck did she kill their baby for, if she’s gone back to the guy and probably married him anyway. The kid would probably 18 today, and judging by the parents, good looking, smart, and with a good personality. What a waste.

    — There are plenty of women here who have kids and still remain as vain and self-absorbed as ever.

    Alas. Thanks for that reality check. Once a princess, always a princess, I guess.

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  24. @Peter,

    Point taken but variables cannot be separated. Most of Western Civ is over-run by the FemNazi ideals.

    Conversely, if this is a U-shaped curve, e.g. Women, to procreate, must be treated well as human beings, then Iran is hardly a counter-example as it sits at the opposite end of the U-curve.

    Like


  25. DC = horrible place during winters grimiest months.

    You guys really need to think about relocating somewhere warm during this time of year.

    Miami Beach or Southern California for me (if in USA).

    – MPM

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  26. What a waste.

    Ugh. Tell me about it.

    Alas. Thanks for that reality check. Once a princess, always a princess, I guess.

    You should watch the movie Nanny Diaries. They cover this type of woman, the Upper Manhattan version of “Desperate Housewives.” Just have a kid for bragging rights then pass off all rearing and bonding responsibiltities to the nannies and are “busy” every night on some committee or activity or other, just like the girls described in the post. Nanny Diaries is fictional but so accurate.

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  27. If you cannot see the irony in that, you will be alone with your ludicrous standards at the age of 35.

    Today’s journal entry is sounding a bit shrill Roissy. Could this be describing YOU? You’re turning into a bitter old maid. Perhaps you need a new location to work YOUR “Mystery”.

    Like


  28. on December 8, 2008 at 1:16 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    “Um, if she says she’s busy and doesn’t offer a specific alternate time, doesn’t that just mean she’s not that into you? There’s no need to worry about her lifestyle; you just failed to attract her.”

    This is true in some cases. But in DC, I know the type Roissy is describing and he’s on the mark. For whatever reason, women hyper-schedule themselves. This is a huge turnoff and these women often run around as if they have ADHD.

    Funny enough, I’ve noticed many of the overscheduled women tend to be in jobs that really aren’t all that big of a deal. They scurry around doing PR or assistant work like it’s the end of the world.

    Like


  29. on December 8, 2008 at 1:20 pm secret asian man

    Two economists are walking down the street when they pass a Porsche.

    “I’ve always wanted a Porsche”, says the first economist.

    “Obviously not”, says the second.

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  30. Broken Arrows are right. Many beltway women do this even when they are interested. You know because sometimes they pop out of nowhere asking why things never went anywhere. Anyway, one thing I’ve always loathed about these types is that they are just inflexible. They never do anything spontaneously. Boring. Definitely not girlfriend material.

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  31. It is absolutely the most fascinating thing about this blog that Roissy resides in DC. I think he must be quite a masochist for such a hedonist since he chooses to live in that endless pussyless sinkhole that is known as DC. Roissy must be in politics because if he weren’t, he’d live in New York, or Miami, or LA or something. Oh, you mean he’d prefer to fuck 6s who think they’re 9s because they wear polo shirts and miniskirts and die their hair a disgusting form of blond? His favorite bar, Reef, has to be the lamest fucking bar on earth, but is probably one of the better places for getting girls in DC. This does not speak well of DC, and today’s post just reaffirms the ridiculousness of living there.

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  32. “Um, if she says she’s busy and doesn’t offer a specific alternate time, doesn’t that just mean she’s not that into you? There’s no need to worry about her lifestyle; you just failed to attract her.”

    It may mean that, and it may not. There are people who schedule the shit out of their lives because they have victim issues. If someone or something isn’t actually victimizing them, they create life situations that justify their victim-mentality. They can say “I can’t get together with you, I HAVE to go floss my cat/learn to make pastries/learn to juggle, etc.”, as if some invisible force compelled them to sign up for all that crap and is forcing them to do it. In any event, a woman who is genuinely busy will make it obvious how genuinely disappointed she is that she can’t get together with you, and will try to set a firm date the following week. No woman who isn’t really interested or has victim issues would do that.

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  33. Since the topic of Time can up, I’d like to pose a Question, if I may:

    Do Blacks’ perceptions of Time differ from that of Whites’?

    I ask because, I get the some from many White folk that once you hit a certain age, its Curtains for you.

    But that’s not the way it is in Black America, at least my corner of it.

    Its not uncommon at all to see men and women both in their late 40s and beyond, partying up a storm at the Caberets and even Clubs. From all that I gather from sites like this one, and books like The Game, its almost as if when in White America, when you hit 40, you’re forbidden to do any of that. Female definitely, but males don’t get too much leeway either.

    No don’t get me wrong here; I DO buy the general proposition that, especially when it comes to Females. Being Younger is much better than being Older when it comes to Reproduction and all that entails (Dating, Flirting, Etc.). Having said that though, I just don’t get the same kind of intensity surrounding that in Black America; Brothas don’t seem as bothered by a Woman’s age, at least from what I can tell.

    Black Women seem to be fertile longer than White Women on average, and would have more babies too if it weren’t for the sheer number of Abortions they get per year. They get more than any other group of Women in the country, sadly.

    And keep in mind-Jay-Z, arguably the face of Hip Hop between the late 90s and much of the 2000s, is now nearing 40; so is R. Kelly, Ice Cube, and many other Hip Hop fixtures. No one seems to be pushing them into the Old Folks’ home.

    Then there’s “CP Time”; and I’m reminded of a dear mentor’s time in SAFR, and another’s when he was in Ghana, and both had noted how Black folks there regarded time. Totally different from White folks.

    So, the Question, again:

    Do Black folks and White folks regard, and experience Time differently?

    What do you think?

    Comments?

    Salaam
    Mu

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  34. @ owen

    this post isn’t about attracting women. it’s about the really terrible job that many women today do of attracting men.

    i went out with a girl this summer, and subsequently asked her to do something else about a week later. she told me she was ‘busy’. i made a comment on it, calling her on that bullshit, and she replied with a schedule of all her ‘grownup’ activities that week. after that i deleted her number from my phone and never thought about her again. a month or so later i had a party at my house, and i get a fb message from her asking why she wasn’t invited. that shit is so typical. and the truth is that i did drop the ball a little at first, but she really gave me no reason to try all that hard. the difference is that as soon as i made it obvious that i was done pursuing her, she popped back up; whereas the moment i felt her interest waning, i cut sling load and turned my attention elsewhere.

    T knows: don’t chase ’em replace ’em

    @ sara

    sorry to disappoint, but you’re comparison just doesn’t hold up. i’m sure there are plenty of former high school studs who at thirty-five are fat, balding, and have limited job prospects. that, however, is not the norm among most educated men in urban areas. personally, i’m in my thirties and get so much more attention from women, of all ages, than i did in high school, and even college. and there are some women out there who have managed to beat the odds and become more attractive as they age, but it ain’t the norm. sorry. life ain’t fair.

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  35. She was letting your friend down easy. Why the condemnation of all women everywhere for trying to spare his feelings? No doubt if told the truth and said, “No offense, but I’d rather not go out with you,” you’d be calling her a judgmental cunt who doesn’t know the incredible opportunity she missed by rejecting a guy whose objective is to pump and dump her.

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  36. It’s so funny how this girls doesn’t know how to balance, a relationship and their own life. Either they are full time lover (and then guys won’t give you a shit) or they are very-busy-hot-stuff, that will end up years later crying by herself wondering if her cat you be able to eat her face if she dies alone and no one noticed.
    Too bad… I think in fact your answer were the best. I am too busy, but i would love to, would definately be a better answer for a crap week, we all have one.
    They should by at least a cheap dating guide and do less shit.They were always too busy for realizing that they don’t date who they want, because they aren’t “managing” their thoughts.

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  37. Its a good post overall. Roissy is speaking of a certain type of girl that exists everywhere but unfortunately in large numbers in DC. Its beyond me why some girls think that appearing busy makes them more attractive…

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  38. Two thoughts:

    1. Black women have the lowest rates of marriage among all ethnic groups. IMO, it’s not that they have different notions of urgency — they want to settle down too — it’s that they are considered the least attractive, with the least desirable personality, and also that their preferred mates (black men), are the least eligible (job prospects, not in prison, etc).

    2. I would appreciate a blog written from the female perspective that incorporates the brutally honest (though not gratuitously mean), thesis-based, incisive, and insightful style used by the popular males bloggers. This type of blog would reveal how superficial and discriminatory women really are. Unfortunately, I don’t think this is possible because there aren’t any self-aware or truly honest women out there.

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  39. “endless pussyless sinkhole that is known as DC. Roissy must be in politics because if he weren’t, he’d live in New York, or Miami, or LA or something.”

    I agree. I spend minimal time in DC.

    But, like I have said many times before, you can get some quality girls in DC.

    But it has to be:

    Diplomats daughters.

    Ambassadors daughters.

    Daughters of American Iconic families with cribs overlooking the potomac from G-town

    Au-pairs in summer (not the greatest, but do the trick)

    The hottest girl at G-town medical school

    Occasionally a fly tourist girl.

    A rich girl from a Hollywood family in town for 2 years “to make a difference”.

    Dating the run of the mill DC girl, you are just asking for it.

    That being said the run of the mill girl in any city is a ill fated move.

    You need skim the top .000001% of women.

    Most people just don’t have the Game or Access that is all.

    – MPM

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  40. Also:

    When she said to Zeets: “I’m busy every day this week, but next week works.”

    She is not interested.

    Zeets should get back to the drawing board.

    – MPM

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  41. She says “I’m busy every day this week, but next week works.” Immediately, I lose all interest in her. I tell her “Yeah, sure, maybe. Hey, nice talking to you, take care.”

    Is this Roissy Maxim #75 in full effect??

    Because it really looks like Zeets is the one who got rejected here.

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  42. jinx

    Like


  43. Anon,
    I don’t necessarily disagree with you; Black Women, if measured in terms of Today’s Sexual Marketplace, value ain’t that strong. It kinda pains me to say that, of course, but one can’t deny facts and reality.

    And its also true that the only real option for most Black Women-Black Men-are in short supply, those worth having I mean. Again, hard to argue against facts.

    But that’s not what I asked. I asked whether Blacks and Whites *perceive* Time differently. What do you think, given what I’ve said above on this score?
    And, I too would love to see a kind of Female Roissy blogsite; but alas, I fear that Women are not wired for such brutal Truth telling.

    Holla back

    Salaam
    Mu

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  44. “Unfortunately, I don’t think this is possible because there aren’t any self-aware or truly honest women out there.”

    The few that may be so honest would consider it ‘mean’ to write such a blog. You can get some girls to admit to the truths Roissy calls upon, but they’d never volunteer it; you have to cross-examine them to elicit it. And they’d still never repeat it, or integrate this truth you’ve extracted into their general conception of reality. Sort of reminds me of Larry Auster’s term of “an unprincipled exception.”

    Mu’min,
    Is it that white people are far more prone to forming and heeding petty conventions? I find myself doing or saying something slightly out of the ordinary, it’ll be a stupid rich white girl, saying, “oh, that’s weird.” But that may be because the blacks I run into are brought up among lots of whites, so personal openness is a necessity, but when you’re growing up in the shtetls of Long Island, it isn’t, perforce.

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  45. on December 8, 2008 at 2:44 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    “I would appreciate a blog written from the female perspective that incorporates the brutally honest (though not gratuitously mean), thesis-based, incisive, and insightful style used by the popular males bloggers.”

    If you know where to look, there are blogs by single DC females. The problem is, what they mainly do is list (in excruciating detail) all the minutiae of their day to day lives, like charity walks, what they wore, how they prepared a meal.

    This, I think, bolsters the point Roissy was trying to make in the original post — that women who overbook themselves need to be told where to go.

    I would list some of the DC women’s blogs here, but I’m not that cruel.* They’ll get torn apart in the comments, then go private. But I will say this: A lot of chronically single women seem to like the idea of male “fantasy figures” like firemen or men in uniform, and don’t seem to connect at all with guys they deal with day to day.

    * Roissy, if you want, I’ll mail you some URLs for post fodder.

    Like


  46. My experience may be unusual, but having been a diplomat’s daughter in DC and other places, I can only recall meeting other diplomats or diplomats’ kids. Hardly ever local people of your own age, though occasionally the sons or more often daughters of rich businessmen or politicians. Young men are less likely to accompany a parent to a party than young women.

    The younger diplomats you meet don’t want to date you for fear of putting their careers at risk if the two of you fall out. And anyway, many daughters of diplomats don’t live with their parents much past the age of 16 or so. You end up at boarding schools or living with relatives in the last years of high school to avoid the disruption of constant travelling, and then it’s off to university. You see your parents only on short visits once you get to the “young adult” stage.

    Clio

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  47. D of BA, I never beg for ANYthing, but I am now openly begging to see these DC girl blogs and the daily minutae on them. I’ve just got to see if the DC woman is really as vapid as these bloggers say.

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  48. @Mu’min –

    I think the issue of time perception varies by culture, rather than race. The culture split you’re referring to you is a Black/Anglo American thing. I had some friends who traveled extensively in Europe a few years back (France, Germany, England, Iceland). Dance clubs there are frequented by people of all ages, with younger ages being more predominant, of course. There isn’t a stigma about it there like there is here. A place I’m dying to visit based on my friends’ descriptions and things I’ve read is Iceland. Whoo Baby! Hot ass women who party their asses off until 6 AM every weekend. During the summer when the sun never sets the party apparently never stops. Getting back to your point, one of my friends said he saw a bunch of older guys in a loud dance club in Reykjavik doing shots like they were candy, and it turned out it was the Prime Minister of Iceland and some of his aids. Need I say more?

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  49. MuMin,

    Your question about differences in perceptions of time between Blacks and whites seemed to raise questions about sexual shelf-life, reproductive expiration dates, and whether it’s okay to still party in your 40s.

    My point is that one’s perception about accepted sexual activity is dependent on one’s sexual availability. If you’re married at age 20, you probably won’t be going out to the clubs as much as the single 20 year old, especially if you have a kid. If black women were married, they probably wouldn’t be at the clubs in their late 30s either.

    Reproductive ability, as far as I know, is not dependent on race and if it is, it’s likely marginal. But perceptions of reproductive ability change depend on your perceptions of reproductive opportunity. If you can’t find a mate, then you may persuade yourself to acknowledge that it’s still possible to get pregnant in your 30s and 40s.

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  50. @Days of Broken Arrows – These female DC blogs sound like the lyrics to every song ever written by Jewel. Not a good thing.

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  51. DBA,

    I’ve seen these female blogs and I agree, they’re more like diaries of personal minutiae that are generally pointless. I’m not saying you have to write in term paper format, but as a general rule of good writing, there should be a point and supporting arguments. VK is a good example of a blog that uses a descriptive, personal style but still promotes a main point and then backs it up.

    I’d love to see a female blog that asks and answers questions such as “Why is it only girls that ask their mates to make them laugh and not vice versa?”

    Like


  52. on December 8, 2008 at 3:07 pm Days of Broken Arrows

    To the Rawness:
    I’ll send you an e-mail thru your blog.

    Fabian:
    Good compairson with Jewel, except these blogs are done a lot less artfully. And that’s saying something considering Jewel’s self-involved lyrics!

    Like


  53. Rain And: Not really. A rejection would be “I’m busy every day this week,” without offering up that next week works for her.

    But yeah, it’s substandard behavior. If her yoga and pilates classes are too damn important to her to skip, I say don’t bother with it. I had a similar experience with a girl I went out with who played the “busy” card, then she called me a couple of months afterwards and asked why things never went anywhere.

    By the way, these girls aren’t limited to the big coastal cities.

    Like


  54. Clio,

    Agreed. The “access” part is the key.

    Which I have always had.

    – MPM

    Like


  55. @ Fabian: From what I hear, the men in Iceland are little evolved from their Viking ancestors, so bring your A-game and be prepared for a fight.

    Like


  56. on December 8, 2008 at 3:31 pm ironrailsironweights

    From what I hear, the men in Iceland are little evolved from their Viking ancestors, so bring your A-game and be prepared for a fight.

    The whole country is nearly bankrupt, so just bring a couple hundred bucks and you probably can buy the whole place.

    Peter

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  57. Yeah, Iceland’s currency is down, last time I checked, 50
    % since summer.

    Real good move.

    Got that on my list for spring.

    – MPM

    Like


  58. @Peter – No, Iceland WAS bankrupt. I believe they were bailed out recently by Russian investors. They may regret taking THAT money, but for now things are ok. And the economic crisis just means a $25 cheeseburger is now $21, and $12 pints of beer are now $8, and $450-a-night hotels are now $380-a-night. It’s still an expensive place by anyone’s standards.

    Like


  59. Fabian, the big deal is not the change in price of goods, the big deal is the drop in their currency value versus the dollar and euro. When you exchange your money, forget about it. Their krona has lost 2/3 of it’s value to date, and just had their currency rating downgraded by Moody’s:

    http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601085&sid=a5zEsraUpMLQ&refer=europe

    I’m even considering going to a currency exchange place and exchanging some dollars for Icelandic kronas now and just storing the kronas in my drawer until the eventual summer vacation to iceland. I predict the dollar with drop in value again and there’s always a chance the krona could start climbing by the summer, so I want to get that exchange rate now.

    Like


  60. @ Lance 1:50 PM

    I have the same experience here in New York. I’m just shy of 30, and I’m absolutely swimming in women whenever I go out. My value has definitely risen over time, not declined, and judging by my friends, I suspect this will continue for quite some time.

    @ Anonymous 2:11 PM

    I know at least one truly honest woman. Unfortunately, she’s also truly smart, and has no desire to reveal her true colors in public.

    The problem you have there is the people who know won’t talk, and the people who talk won’t know.

    @ Mu 2:29 PM

    I suspect the low marriage rates and the differing perceptions of time are tied together. Or more so, that there has to be some kind of enforced three way relationship between:

    Time concern in dating
    Marriage prospect
    Suicide rate

    After all, if you are really concerned about time but have no prospects or hope, that leads to quite a bit of depression. Now, with all that said, I think the whole marriage trap that black women fall into is totally unnecessary. There are several studies showing that racial dating preferences are largely held by women, not men (as in, men are perfectly happy to date outside their race on average), so simply dating hispanic / asian / white guys could fix their problem.

    But at least here in NYC, I know some very successful black women who are holding out for an even more successful black man. I tease them about their better odds if they were trying to have a relationship with a flying pig; they don’t appreciate it. However, cold hard fact dictates that the odds are not in their favor currently.

    This applies specifically to black Americans, not the people I know in Europe or North Africa.

    @ Royal 3:24 PM

    On the upside, with the collapse of their banking system, you can probably buy everything in their country for what you have in your wallet, or failing that, since they are now too poor for things like fire and electricity, rule the whole island like a tyrant if you have a gun.

    Like


  61. on December 8, 2008 at 3:59 pm Dieting Hadron Collider

    *** to steal secret asian man’s joke and mangle it ***

    Two bankers are walking down the street when they pass a Porsche.

    “I’ve always wanted a Porsche”, says the first banker.

    “Then I shall arrange for more workers to lose their homes”, says the second.

    Like


  62. WRT birth rates. Yemen has 8 TFR. Iran has below replacement, 1.7. You can look it up at the CIA World Factbook.

    I’ve blogged extensively on this aspect. The Pill + Condom + any increase in female living standards and literacy = low birth rates period.

    Spengler’s made the same point, Roissy in this blog. Even in Iran, with restrictive aspects on female life, there is more urban anonymity and independence and income, to allow delayed or non-existent fertility.

    Bottom line — if women can choose not to have kids they will do so every time. Spengler has some graphs showing female literacy being inversely proportional with TFR, taken from UN stats.

    The Western World (and every place else with more than a few cents a day to rub together) is going to have to deal with how the Pill and Condom transform society: only a few women get married, to “Big Men” like Eliot Spitzer, or Tony Villaraigosa, or John Edwards, most women will not have kids early, and perhaps one designer eugenic yuppie baby in their late thirties, as a single mom.

    Most men will have little connection to women, and vice-versa. Men and women in their fifties will have little to do with each other. This is a profound generational shift and will roil politics greatly. Just as Mark Steyn observed that young Muslim extended families are unlikely to support welfare for aging, childless Anglo-Celtic people in Britain, it’s unlikely that aging childless, single men will support anything to do with women and children. Declining birth rates of course for natives makes Latino values and culture far more dominant. Out: PETA, in: Bullfighting.

    The woman profiled is part of the problem. What’s her social network? Likely exclusively female. So there is little to bind lots of men to her interests long term.

    Like


  63. Viz Iran: from everything I’ve heard from my pals from that part of the world -it’s a sexual disneyland. They’re apparently going through their own version of Euro-America’s ’68 revolution, hating on the earlier and current generation for their idiotic wars, and rebelling by an almost complete moral inversion. While I don’t trust the thing, The Nation says the same thing. Iranian girls I’ve met are extremely hot blooded. My whitebread ass had a few Persian experiences I found more than a little disturbing. Iranians have Heironymous Bosch on the brain.

    The way the media portrays things, they’re a bunch of poor oppressed innocents, but they ain’t.

    Like


  64. The G Manifesto,

    Also the cute naive intern.

    Like


  65. @Lupo – I couldn’t help but notice this passage from the article in The Nation:

    “The lives Mahdavi describes are rich in fleeting pleasures and bereft of deep engagement, whether personal, political or professional. It is a dissolution one feels at the heart of contemporary Iranian middle-class culture, and it has to do with the structure of the postrevolutionary state, which has written off huge swaths of its population in its economy, culture and politics. Unemployment is highest among educated young people, who traditionally live with their parents until marriage. Many twentysomething Tehranis–bored, sexually frustrated, infantilized by the state and their families–live like teenagers in small-town America. They spend a lot of time in cars, getting high on ingeniously obtained or concocted substances, and looking for sex. Is this a sign of political ferment or of a disused demographic–unmoored and decadent, dissipating its energies–for which its country has no use?”

    Substitute the word “American” for “Iranian” and “Tehranis”, and the paragraph summarizes 21st century America nicely.
    We’re more alike than we thought.

    Like


  66. @Lupo – Forgot to say substitute “postmodern” for “postrevolutionary” in the article from the Nation.

    Like


  67. Roissy, dude, you’re kind of whiny. Sometimes, if you have other stuff going on, and there’s some dude that YOU’RE not that interested in, you’re not going to break plans for him. Or, ya know, you have other options with better risk/reward ratios going on.

    @Whiskey: Yeah, a lot of women and men that I know are bracing for the HORROR of what happens when our generation reaches their 30’s. It will not be pretty. Well, the women moreso. Trying to grab an economically stable 30-35 year old is the new I-Phone.
    -Grace.

    Like


  68. The sexual revolution in the middle east should result in an even greater polygamy by-product than happened in the west.

    Like


  69. Sparks123,

    Your right. Left that one out.

    One of my best friends, pure G, just made 12 mill on a leveraged buyout.

    Met his future wife a few years before as a naive intern. She was interning for him. When he was doing environmental work in DC.

    She ended up coming from a family with mad Dough. Super smart a beautiful too. And cool.

    Never forget the naive intern.

    Hell, I guess DC isn’t too bad for girls. If you know where to look.

    – MPM

    Like


  70. single white professional losers? SWPL?

    Like


  71. @Lupo, very interesting.

    We have been fighting the wrong type of war.

    Conservative-types should have held the bombs back and just sent in the feminists, postcolonialist professors, NGOs, progressive urbanites, and queer activists dressed in leather chaps.

    Left wingery versus Islam.

    THAT would have been a fight to see.

    Like


  72. on December 8, 2008 at 7:14 pm Usually Lurking

    Declining birth rates of course for natives makes Latino values and culture far more dominant. Out: PETA, in: Bullfighting.

    Whiskey, you were so close.

    With more Latinos you will see:

    Out: PETA
    In: Cockfighting

    Like


  73. But that’s not the way it is in Black America, at least my corner of it. Its not uncommon at all to see men and women both in their late 40s and beyond, partying up a storm at the Caberets and even Clubs. From all that I gather from sites like this one, and books like The Game, its almost as if when in White America, when you hit 40, you’re forbidden to do any of that.

    I went to a Parliament Funkadelic show at the late 90s in a small club…started late, huge clouds of marijuana smoke drifting through the air, people simulating sex on stage, tons of white hippies in the audience, etc. Just as it’s starting, I get pushed from behind and see all these older black men and women coming in…in their 50s or even older. There was one old woman in a wheelchair. All well dressed and looking very respectable, in sort of snazzy suits. Most of them went up to this little balcony to sit.

    I said to my friend (black) that you wouldn’t see that many respectable white folks in their 50s out in a little club on a week night for a band like P-Funk. He laughed and said some of those people probably conceived their kids at a P-Funk show back in the 70s.

    Like


  74. Gibbon’s Decline and Fall ‘tendency of luxury in the female to destroy fertility’ ?

    Like


  75. Whiskey, you have some good ideas but seem to be exaggerating a lot. No men will have connection to women? No one will get married except Big Men? Among my friends in their late 20’s or so, the majority are married or in long-term relationships, and among the college-educated, this seems to be the norm. These guys are not rich and famous, though they tend to be fairly tall and attractive guys. The shorter/less socially dominant tend to have more trouble. But I do see even short Indian guys with attractive white women sometimes here in NYC. Sure, some guys are priced out of the relationship market, more than before…and women in the big cities behave in ways considered disgusting and unacceptable even 20 years ago. But many “beta” men are still getting attractive girlfriends, which is part of the problem, because the beta revolution needs numbers.

    Women think they can fuck around and work on their “career” until 35, and then find a man to marry their used-up ass. This is a problem, but would be solved if quality men REFUSED to marry these types of women. The real problem is that…men have lowered their standards too much. No wife is better than a whore wife, though that guy who is marrying Jessica Cutler (the guy is an NYU Law grad) disagrees, I guess.

    If “Beta” men didn’t look twice at an ex-slut over 30, there would be less of them. AND they would non-breed out of existence.

    Like


  76. I think this is a perfect reason to bust out the, “so your not going to do my laundry question….” or just completely misunderstand what she just said and say something “Oh, I hate Bees too…. then hang up” =)

    Like


  77. Speaking of strange behavior; the Italian ex pix messaged me a photo of his woman’s engagement ring this morning. Creepy.

    Like


  78. “endles pussyless sinkhole that is DC…” Whaddya know,Bill Clinton is lurkin’ on your blog! Cool! (Or maybe its Condi Rice??THAT is scarey!)) @ G Manifesto:AS a newcomer to this blog,I’d like to offer you some ass-kissing compliments:your comments are always educational. 🙂

    Like


  79. Lance

    i’m in my thirties and get so much more attention from women, of all ages, than i did in high school, and even college. and there are some women out there who have managed to beat the odds and become more attractive as they age, but it ain’t the norm. sorry. life ain’t fair.

    Fair? Thank God! Luckily I had my daughter before the age of 35 and have been married twice, so perhaps I did not miss the boat? It does sound like Roissy is getting a little desperate. Dome kids are not exactly thrilled about having an old man for a father; especially a dirty old man. Take my daughter’s dad for instance. His father was 45 when he finally married for the first time. His wife was 20 years younger. My ex had some issues with his dad being so much older than his friends fathers. I have no doubt that Roissy won’t be bothered by that, though. ^_^ Or anyone else here…surely.

    BTW, I’m in my 40’s and don’t lack for male attention from ages 25 to 70. Some men are just that desperate. 😀

    Like


  80. “Dome” kids? Whoops.

    Like


  81. @Whiskey: Yeah, a lot of women and men that I know are bracing for the HORROR of what happens when our generation reaches their 30’s. It will not be pretty. Well, the women moreso. Trying to grab an economically stable 30-35 year old is the new I-Phone.
    -Grace.

    Considering that I’m currently restoring iPhone #3, that ain’t so good.

    Like


  82. Mu’Min:

    I’m a white guy who had a job that involved looking at a lot of drivers’ licenses, and I noticed that black people often (not always) age more gracefully than whites. I would have never noticed this without the job because I would have assumed these black people were 10 years younger than they were. That might have something to do with black attitudes toward aging.

    White people, especially women, hit a cliff in their early 40s or thereabouts. Their looks slowly but steadily decline from the mid-twenties until then, and then suddenly just go entirely (assuming they took care of themselves – if they blimped out at 22 there’s not much to lose). Blacks seem to continue to slowly decline instead.

    I don’t think it’s true that blacks are more fertile at a later age than whites. Black women go through menopause a year earlier than white women, on average. I think black skin is just better protected from damage/aging.

    Like


  83. Being busy is always an excuse of girls, nothings new.

    Like


  84. Anonymous said, “2. I would appreciate a blog written from the female perspective that incorporates the brutally honest (though not gratuitously mean), thesis-based, incisive, and insightful style used by the popular males bloggers. This type of blog would reveal how superficial and discriminatory women really are. Unfortunately, I don’t think this is possible because there aren’t any self-aware or truly honest women out there.”

    If someone did that, very few people would respond to what they read.

    My hit count is pretty high for a personal blog that’s not tied to a bigger blog site, but very few people respond.

    I even busted out one entry about not shagging married men whose own wives won’t even give them any, and another about how wife types and whore types actually work together even if they’re enemies. Nobody said jack.

    Like


  85. Sara says, “BTW, I’m in my 40’s and don’t lack for male attention from ages 25 to 70. Some men are just that desperate.”

    Thank the good Lord for testicles. 🙂

    Like


  86. Tone spoiled JAP who was in her mid to late 20s and still had never done groceries by herself

    A 25 year old who has never made market?

    Really? What the heck does she eat? Restaurants are expensive.

    Like


  87. If black women were married, they probably wouldn’t be at the clubs in their late 30s either
    NO, I often you see older black couples at the club together. I’ve even seen 60+ year old couples out at the club. As long as the couple agrees that they are going home together, I don’t get the big deal.

    Maybe there are things going on in clubs that I don’t see.

    If you can’t find a mate, then you may persuade yourself to acknowledge that it’s still possible to get pregnant in your 30s and 40s
    T,DA, MU ,Nicole(?) and I have mentioned that many blk women have no problems having children at 40. I’ve even seen a 45 blk woman conceive naturally. I’ve always wondered why I hear so many whites in Hollywood having fertility problems at 30. I thought the Hollywood set’s fertility problems were a result of having STDs which were allowed to fester for a long time before they sought treatment. I noticed that most of the Black people who I come into contact with were not shocked that Palin(HS stay back) had most of her children after 30. Whites as a group, seemed to obssessed with Palin’s change of life babies.

    Like


  88. single white professional losers? SWPL?

    With this economy yes

    @Whiskey- Women everywhere want to have fewer children. Most women in third world would have fewer children if they could get their hands on some birthcontrol. Even in Ethiopia, women want fewer children, they have come to realize how much more difficult life becomes when they have 8-10 versus 2-3 children. When you have first world healthcare in which the overwhelming majority of children survive to the age 18, having one or two children is just great. Poor woman in the third world often have 12 children because only three will make it to adulthood.

    Whiskey I sent you an email!
    Has anyone done a study linking the curtailing of old fashioned discipline of America children to Americans not wanting to have children?

    Royal
    @ Fabian: From what I hear, the men in Iceland are little evolved from their Viking ancestors, so bring your A-game and be prepared for a fight.
    As Whiskey and I have mentioned before, men don’t like sharing women even when there is an excess of young fertile thing running about

    Like


  89. on December 8, 2008 at 9:18 pm sartorial eloquence

    “The worst “winner” out of my friend’s JDates…one spoiled JAP who was in her mid to late 20s and still had never done groceries by herself. Living along in the city with a job but her parents still did her groceries for her or had someone do them. she laughably told my friend this on their first date like it was an endearing quirk rather than a seriousl red flag. And no, she wasn’t joking. she also claimed that she wouldn’t even know how to do her own groceries if she had to, and the thought of doing them on her own scared her.”

    What I wanna know is, how do you DO groceries? You just go to the damn supermarket and pick up what you need! I could see it if she couldn’t DO laundry, say, but GROCERIES???

    Like


  90. Thanks for the responses, Everyone.

    @MQ: LOL! And you know, I was thinking today, Mystery HAD to draw some of his inspiration from George Clinton, man. Its P-Funk all day, everyday.

    I’m sitting here listening to an Old School 70s Funk/Disco/R&B CD that one of the fellas on the job gave me earlier. Stuff you’re likely to hear on the Michael Baisden Show. Brings back memories of one of THEE best times I have EVER had, and keep in mind, I was a Hip Hop DeeJay for years.

    Back in the 90s, when I was working for a big Maternity Clothing manufacturer, I was invited to a Big Caberet by the Shop Foreman. The Ladies-all Sistas-arranged it. LOL, I remember them always dropping hints and hittin’ on me all the time, too. Sara ain’t lying about the older ladies, gents. They’ll put somethin’ on you fierce.

    Anyway, I go to the Caberet, and I had a Ball. We Cha-Cha’d, Bopped and Electric Slid our way til the Break of Dawn. NONE of the BS posuer crap that you see sooooooo much at the supposed “hot spots”, and you all know what I’m talking about. The Women there actually wanted to dance, and wouldn’t hesitate grabbing your hand and leading YOU to the dancefloor. The food was great, BYOB, and our Foreman, the EmCee of the event, had on a suit Mystery would have loved-Fire Engine Red, w/Black Vines, and Stacy Adams red and white shoes, and of course, a Red Dick Tracy style hat to match. You know how we Black folk gotta Coordinate.

    I’ve been to a number of White clubs and the like, and I gotta tell ya, it felt like you could cut the angst and tension with a Ginsu Knife. No wonder y’all do so many different kinds of drugs, and I’m not trying to be disrespectful when I say that. Everything was so uptight.

    Having said that, on the Black side, the younger set is too busy frontin’ to actually have a good time. Sheesh.

    But yea Anon, Black folks, when they take care of themselves, age very gracefully indeed. There’s quite a number of ladies well over 40 who turn heads all the time.

    Holla back

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  91. on December 8, 2008 at 9:22 pm sartorial eloquence

    “Oh, you mean he’d prefer to fuck 6s who think they’re 9s because they wear polo shirts and miniskirts and die their hair a disgusting form of blond?”

    I’d like to know WHO ever thought that the polo shirt was sexy? Would you want to see a normally hot girl walking around looking like a lesbian gym teacher?

    Like


  92. “Fabian: From what I hear, the men in Iceland are little evolved from their Viking ancestors, so bring your A-game and be prepared for a fight.”

    *checking prices on Iceland Air*

    Like


  93. T,DA, MU ,Nicole(?) and I have mentioned that many blk women have no problems having children at 40.

    I’m pretty sure I’ve never touched on that topic here. Anyway, a friend of mine who likes to read on fertility studies a lot (don’t ask) says that the real trouble is your age when you have your first kid. A lot of those black women having kids up until their 40s without fertility treatments, according to him, have an easier time about it because they were having kids since they were young. Women who try to have their first kid at those ages have a lot more problems conceiving. According to this friend, black women who wait until that same age to have their first kid would have just as much trouble.

    Like


  94. Oh, you mean he’d prefer to fuck 6s who think they’re 9s because they wear polo shirts and miniskirts and die their hair a disgusting form of blond?

    There are average looking girls who rank higher for me because they will either sport nails and/or heels and makeup.

    Fire Engine Red, w/Black Vines, and Stacy Adams red and white shoes, and of course, a Red Dick Tracy style hat to match

    Shudder. :-/

    Like


  95. hello –

    icelandair also has a sick deal where they give you free layover in iceland for up to a week when you use iceland air to travel anywhere in the world. You can take a flight from the US to somewhere else, and you’re allowed to stop en route in Iceland, stay for a whole week, then hop on a plan to go to your original destination and you only get charged for single round-trip airfare.

    Like


  96. icelandair also has a sick deal where they give you free layover in iceland for up to a week

    No trains, no David.

    Like


  97. T, I recall you saying that black women have children at forty all the time so what’s the big deal with Palin having children later in life. I cosigned your comment.

    I’ve been to a number of White clubs and the like, and I gotta tell ya, it felt like you could cut the angst and tension with a Ginsu Knife

    Like


  98. anon-c,
    I knew a 40something white man in London who dated black women exclusively because they looked so much better than white women of the same age.

    On that note I’m in my late twenties and I recently ran into an old acquaintance from college. She had lovely chubby cheeks at the time, but after just a few years her skin looks pale, yet patchy and discolored. I’ve been wearing daily-wear sunscreen since I was 20 and I have an olive complexion, which takes the sun better. This woman is younger than I am but looks about 4 or 5 years older.

    I am now investing in UV protective clothing especially hats.

    Like


  99. SE I’d like to know WHO ever thought that the polo shirt was sexy? Would you want to see a normally hot girl walking around looking like a lesbian gym teacher?
    The polo shirt can be sexy, but the woman wearing one must be shapely and feminine looking to pull it off.

    Like


  100. on December 8, 2008 at 9:34 pm sartorial eloquence

    “i went out with a girl this summer, and subsequently asked her to do something else about a week later. she told me she was ‘busy’. i made a comment on it, calling her on that bullshit, and she replied with a schedule of all her ‘grownup’ activities that week.”

    It’s really funny how women will feed you a line of bullshit, and then when you call them on it, they get pissed and act like we’re insensitive and impatient. Well, how are we supposed to respond when we know somebody’s trying to pull a fast one? We’re supposed to just sit there and take it?

    “She was letting your friend down easy. Why the condemnation of all women everywhere for trying to spare his feelings? No doubt if told the truth and said, “No offense, but I’d rather not go out with you,” you’d be calling her a judgmental cunt who doesn’t know the incredible opportunity she missed”

    I wished they WOULD tell me right away that theyre not interested. Most likely, I wont see them again, so why should I care? and besides, at least if they tell me, ill feel bad for five minutes, move on to the next one and get it over with.

    but trust me, there is NOTHING more insulting than have a woman fake interest by giving you her number…then you wait the requisite two days to call them back…only to find out THEN, after that long wait, that theyre not interested. (or even worse: when they take a long time to return a phone call). at that point, i dont care – i read em the fucking riot act and if i hurt her feelings, good. she DID hurt mine, you know!

    Like


  101. Hello, not eating enough fruits and vegatables (+much meat) will also cause women &men to age faster.

    Like


  102. “I’ve been to a number of White clubs and the like, and I gotta tell ya, it felt like you could cut the angst and tension with a Ginsu Knife”

    We only seem to have fun on 80s night. After that the American music industry stopped making music we can dance to.

    I like seeing older black people out at the club. I will give up dancing when you can pry my heels from my cold, dead feet.

    Like


  103. I will give up dancing when you can pry my heels from my cold, dead feet.

    It’s an healthy natural form of exercise unlike the stairmaster.

    Like


  104. Mu, what clubs do you go to because I see white folks having a good time at the clubs I frequent. The few East Asian males I see can cut a rug as well as any brother too. If they(EA) are the geeky sort, they must leave that on campus when it’s time to dance. Some when like to look at how well a guy dances to get an idea of how well have can move when …..

    Like


  105. on December 8, 2008 at 9:43 pm DUHHHHHHHHHHH

    Re: anon-c – “…I noticed that black people often (not always) age more gracefully than whites.”

    Pretty damn obvious…Blacks have less skin damage from the harsh UV radiation of sunlight because of the protective effects of their darker skin, ya moron.

    Like


  106. Sartorial elegance:
    Would you prefer this?

    http://www.rejectionhotline.com/

    Yes getting let down easy can suck if you don’t perceive it as such but considering how many insensitive assholes (of both sexes) are out there why not appreciate someone who considered your feelings?

    Like


  107. Asian guys love break dancing

    Like


  108. @Hello

    I am sure that could be arranged. Be careful what you wish for!

    @Chicnoir and Mu

    The problem with clubs in NYC is that a large portion of the social demographic (even the dating one) is simply missing from them. I have a scant handful of friends who club religiously, or at least often, but a much larger group who wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole while wearing a hazmat suit. Take these to represent the whole population at your own risk.

    Like


  109. on December 8, 2008 at 9:53 pm FEMINIZED URBAN MEN

    AHHHHHHHHH city livin’ – gotta love all those chemicals.

    “It’s official: Men really are the weaker sex”

    Evolution is being distorted by pollution, which damages genitals and the ability to father offspring, says new study.

    The male gender is in danger, with incalculable consequences for both humans and wildlife, startling scientific research from around the world reveals.

    The research – to be detailed tomorrow in the most comprehensive report yet published – shows that a host of common chemicals is feminising males of every class of vertebrate animals, from fish to mammals, including people.

    Backed by some of the world’s leading scientists, who say that it “waves a red flag” for humanity and shows that evolution itself is being disrupted, the report comes out at a particularly sensitive time for ministers. On Wednesday, Britain will lead opposition to proposed new European controls on pesticides, many of which have been found to have “gender-bending” effects.

    It also follows hard on the heels of new American research which shows that baby boys born to women exposed to widespread chemicals in pregnancy are born with smaller penises and feminised genitals.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/its-official-men-really-are-the-weaker-sex-1055688.html

    Like


  110. Black women and aging,
    Black men seem more open to dating/marrying older women than whites, and although one might say it’s because black women age better I’ve noticed that black men also date white women who are older than they even though the latter rarely age as well

    Like


  111. on December 8, 2008 at 10:07 pm sartorial eloquence

    Hello…about that Rejection Hotline link…cute idea, but it still comes off as vaguely patronizing.

    Like


  112. on December 8, 2008 at 10:12 pm ironrailsironweights

    It’s my impression as well that black women tend to age better than white women. Although Asian women age the best of all.

    Peter

    Like


  113. hello, I’ve seen those couples and sometimes there are only a few years seperating the two.

    If a man(like Peter) enters middle age with a combination of good genes and takes good care of himself, he may look a lot better than the average woman of the same age. When you add in the darker skin which protects a blk man from the elements versus a non blk woman with light skin , the differences in physical aging are sometimes vast.

    I’ve noticed that black men also date white women who are older than they even though the latter rarely age as well
    BTW hello that’s why I mention that it’s the prestige of having a white woman for a lot of blk men versus just meeting a white woman and falling in love. Most *American* men are attracted to women who look somewhat youthful and fertile looking.

    Like


  114. “Although Asian women age the best of all.”

    But they aren’t very hairy

    Like


  115. “Although Asian women age the best of all.”

    But they aren’t very hairy

    Hello ,I was going to type but that’s a good thing until I noticed that Peter posted that comment

    Like


  116. Although Asian women age the best of all.

    Peter
    In terms of weight or skin quality Peter? Personally, I think most Americans need to take a look into the traditional Asian diet as well as the French, Italian, and maybe even Ethiopian diet

    Like


  117. In terms of weight, skin quality or both Peter?

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  118. BTW, younger is not always better. Looking at Christy Brinkley and the little girl her husband cheated with. Christie still looks better in my book. The same thing can be said for former Gov. Spritzer’s wife Silda. The escort Gov. Spritzer cheated with looks a bit manly in face. Keep in mind that there is about 30 years separating the wives from the mistress.

    I surprise Agnostic hasn’t mentioned the fact that Ashley Dupree has a man face. Angelina Jolie has nothing on Ashley Dupree.

    Like


  119. First off, Dave Alex, don’t sleep on the Caberet EmCee, the Shop Foreman-just remembered his name, I’ll only use his first name, Kirby. Not only did have the place rockin’ all night-ALL NIGHT-but he also was being led around by TWO LADIES ON EACH ARM. And yup, Big Hair, long nails, and killer heels. You’re Black, so I don’t need to tell you what they looked like from behind.

    Do yourself a huge favor, and please read The Game. Mystery and Style/Strauss break it all down for ya. And now that I think back on Kirby and so many other brothers, including George Clinton, Mr. P-Funk himself, it all makes perfect sense.

    Hey Chic, I’m listening to Steve Arrington. Makes me think of you for some reason, LOL.

    Hello, I’ve been a few White clubs, can’t recall the names now. I few here, in NJ, NYC, and DE. Oh, and a few in the BMore area, and, interestingly enough, in Roissy’s stomping grounds. Of course this was all back in the 90s, and I doubt he was there then.

    Would love to see you get down, girl.

    Sing it, Chaka! Funkin’ For Jamaica!

    Chic, interesting thoughts wrt your Fertility Friend. But I’ve known Sistas who gotten preggers the oldfashioned way, carried to term and delivered the oldfashioned way, FOR THE FIRST TIME, AFTER 40. No big whup. Sistas don’t have all that back there for nuthin’ you know. All that helps things along.

    Doing it in the Park, Doing it after dark, oh yea, Rock Creek Park, oh yea, Rock Creek Park…

    Oh, and the other best party I ever went to, was a Wedding Reception for one of the girls on the job, same place as Kirby etc. She was from Laos, and her mom worked as a Red Cross Nurse there, and arranged a marriage for her son, who is White, and the girl’s parents, who were still in Laos. One of my best friends, who I met at that job, Pom, was also from Laos, and told me that arranged marriages happen all the time there.

    They had Christian and a Buddhist Wedding ceremonies, and in the latter, the monks actually binded the bride and groom’s arms together with a string, it was very beautiful. Very moving experience. Pom said that the Buddhist monks saved his life when he was a small child back in Laos, because he was born premature and was not expected to survive. It was that experience that led him to be something of an Amatuer Herbalist/Naturopath, and EVERYBODY went to him with their health problems. He got guys off Viagra, and I’m talking young guys who couldn’t get it up because of too much drugging, smoking and drinking, that sort of thing. On top of my Faith, it was knowing Pom and his dealing with stuff like that that made me not want to be in the same room with that stuff.

    Anyway, after the Wedding(s) were over, we all went back to the big Reception. Oh yea, and I took the Half-Black/Half-Filipina w/me. I was the Hero of the Company for the next month, White, Black AND Asian guys were salivating. Heh heh.

    Chic, lemme tell you, from direct experience, Asian folks can PARTY. It was a mixture of Southeast Asian folk there, mainly Laotian, Cambodian and Vietnamese folk but a few Thais too, and they had evrything you could think of-ice sculptures, champagne, vodka and bourbon, cognac and gin, and I mean all Top Shelf stuff too. Even the beer was the shit, no Bud at all on the premises. Heineken and above.

    Just like Black folk have their Line Dancing, well, Cambodians have their version, too, and its really cute. Me and my date “J” did it with everyone else, and it was a blast.

    But we did the Urban Contempary (read, Black) music thing too, and you’re right, our Southeast Asian Brothers can get it in alright. Not so much the Sisters, they’re a bit more shy as a rule. But as we all know that Brothas are the Cultural Template of America, the guys put in trademark Asian work ethic to mimic us, and I have to say, they did a heck of a job. 🙂

    That was another party where I got home as the Sun rose. “J” crashed at my spot. It was, in the words of the great philosopher Ice Cube, A Very Good Day.

    😉

    Holla back

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  120. I think those dog husbands prove that for purely sexual flings a prosaic young girl is better than a flawless aging beauty. But Ashley Dupree was outed internationally as a prostitute so I don’t think anyone needs to envy her for shagging the hot and sexy Spitzer.

    If I were in Dupree’s shoes I’d take whatever money I had, change my name, dye my hair, get a nose job and move to Australia. And if I spoke another language I’d go to a non-English speaking country where exposure to English-language media was less intense. Why is she still here? Maybe whoring was all she was smart enough to successfully do. As for her man-face, maybe she has a high testosterone level that made her more amenable to sleeping with scores of strange men.

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  121. on December 8, 2008 at 10:53 pm ironrailsironweights

    Although Asian women age the best of all.

    In terms of weight or skin quality Peter? Personally, I think most Americans need to take a look into the traditional Asian diet as well as the French, Italian, and maybe even Ethiopian diet

    It’s basically a combination of factors. Fewer wrinkles, less weight gain, and slower graying of hair.

    Oh, as for the hairiness of Asian women, while they don’t have a lot of body hair, they do have some where it counts.

    Peter

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  122. Usually Lurking — you’re right. Shoulda spotted that.

    Jack — I wouldn’t say “no” men would lack connection to women, just enough to seriously destabilize society and reduce men’s commitment to women and children’s issues. With a nation of “enough” singletons, and believe me that trend is accelerating there is a predictable collapse in men willing to spend money on women and children’s issues. Since neither will be “theirs.”

    Investment by men in society requires well, involvement. Having a female co-worker as a single mother does not really cut it.

    WRT “betas” and such, that men “settle” is a function of market power. Women have all the power, because there are fewer of them than men (due to age differences and preferences by both women and men for a man 6-10 years older than the woman). Women have the power and no downsides for delaying choosing until the late thirties, pursuing the “Alpha” guy endlessly.

    WRT Iran, it’s the same thing. There are not feminists there and the restrictive social policies and environment provide a test case of if it’s culture driving the changes in women’s behavior or technology and income enabling women to do what they want.

    Yes Iranian young women are wild, there is frequent sex, despite young women periodically being hung in public executions for “adultery” (some as young as 16, and no sadly I am not kidding).

    This suggests things won’t change, there won’t be a “Beta” revolution and marriage is quickly becoming a thing of the past — the White illegitimacy rate according to the US Census Bureau was 41% in 2006, and in Britain it is over 50%, as it is in most Scandinavian nations. Moving forward twenty-thirty years, I think if anything I am understating the changes. After all for the first time single women outnumber married women. That’s not a change that is easily reversed.

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  123. for shagging the hot and sexy Spitzer.

    😯
    It must be the trust fund cause it sure ain’t his face!

    You should see a pic of the rich guy she dated after the Spitzer stuff came out. He also had a very nice looking wife, much better looking than Ashley according to his neighbors.

    I think those dog husbands prove that for purely sexual flings a prosaic young girl is better than a flawless aging beauty
    I think you’re right because the wives are better looking hands down it both examples.

    hello saidIf I were in Dupree’s shoes I’d take whatever money I had, change my name, dye my hair, get a nose job and move to Australia.
    She had one of those already.

    I think ?

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  124. Peter I never noticed the slower graying of hair but now that you mention it, I think you’re right.

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  125. younger is not always better. Looking at Christy Brinkley and the little girl her husband cheated with. Christie still looks better in my book.

    More female delusion. Compleeeeetely delusional. In any contest between an 18 year old 8.5/9 and a 50 year old former 10, the 18 year old wins. Heck, an 18 year old 7 would win.

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  126. Peter,
    You know, I used to think of the acronym “GNP” as Gross National Product; now, thanks to you and you alone, I now think of “GNP” as, and nothing but, the Glorious Natural Pelt.

    You are the Pendant’s Pendant. My compliments to you, Sir.;)

    Salaam
    Mu

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  127. I surprise Agnostic hasn’t mentioned the fact that Ashley Dupree has a man face.

    She’s beautiful, IMHO. Her with some nails & heels with a bit of makeup makes her nearly perfect. 🙂

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  128. “She had one of those already.

    I think ?”

    How often do nose jobs look great the first time around? Get a few more so that you look different. Maybe something else that makes her face look thinner.

    Anyway if Jessica Cutler found a husband maybe Dupree will as well. She is kind of a celebrity and that always is a hit among status whores.

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  129. don’t sleep on the Caberet EmCee, the Shop Foreman-just remembered his name

    I ragged on his questionable colour choices. It’s not my taste of course, but if he gets game in spite of it, then so be it.

    Big Hair, long nails, and killer heels. You’re Black, so I don’t need to tell you what they looked like from behind.

    Lucky him. 🙂

    Do yourself a huge favor, and please read The Game.

    Alright. I’ll be fair, and I’ll look up your book and read it.

    Like


  130. DA,
    Would you like a black woman with nails, heels and an ass?

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  131. Would you like a black woman with nails, heels and an ass?

    Honestly, I’d prefer a white woman. Otherwise, it really depends on the black woman…

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  132. Dave Alex,
    My question is, WHY do you prefer a White Woman?

    And what would the exceptions for a Black Woman be?

    Please explain?

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  133. My question is, WHY do you prefer a White Woman?

    Here comes a mine field…

    From my own experiences, white girls tend to be a bit more accepting of me than black women are. Not in terms of the whining/crybaby/bitching meme, but of the oreo tendencies and unusual hobbies. So when they see that I don’t listen to hip-hop or that I enjoy going to the bookstore to read the Economist, they’re a bit more understanding than black girls.

    The exception of course, if one presumes the context is a long-term relationship, then I’d like a beautiful oreo girl. There are plenty of beautiful and hot black women out there, but finding a beautiful oreo seems to be a bit more difficult. I met one a few years ago, and even though she didn’t do the nails, I thought she was wonderful and beautiful even with dark sking, but she sadly had a boyfriend at the time…

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  134. Dave Alex,
    No man, he didn’t get over “in spite” of his color choices, but BECAUSE of them. Trust me, he didn’t dress like that on the job. But he did that night and I saw, firsthand, what it did for him. When you read The Game you’ll see exactly what I mean.

    One reason why you suck so badly in the Women Dept is because you probably dress so shabby and in such a drab fashion, a Black Herb. No woman wants the same ole shit. What makes you stand out from the pack, Dave? Railfanning? LOL.

    Oh, and I’ll say one more thing, although its from the other thread: that “Wellesley Queen” you’ve mentioned? Somebody should break their leg off in your butt for screwing something like that up. For all your talk of goals and “getting somewhere/being somebody” you sure have a very weird way of showing it. WQ could definitely help you in being who you want to be and where you wantt to go. All Women want to help their Men be all they can be. It is in their Nature to do so, don’t take my word for it, ask Hello and Chic, Nicole and Grace, Sara and Clio. How do you think all those successful guys GOT so successful? Hmm Dave?

    *Mu shakes head*

    Salaam
    Mu

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  135. Well, in regards to OP:

    If it’s an indication a girl is just filling her life with up junk in order to find some sort of meaning, that’s a bad sign.

    But, dammit, I want a 10. And a 10 tries to improve herself.

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  136. Thursday, there isn’t any “female self-delusion” involved in Chic Noir’s or Hello’s comments on Christie Brinkley and what’s-her-name, or the other cases they listed. Both Hello and Chic concluded that men obviously prefer youth to beauty, so it’s not as if they are guilty of wishful thinking. It’s not really possible to be female and not be aware of this fact, esp. if you actually are older than 30 or so.

    I expect that both Chic and H. genuinely believe Christie B. is better looking than her rival, and that belief isn’t self-delusion but a matter of personal taste. Probably women simply aren’t especially aware of aging in other women because we aren’t all that aware of it in men either, until it becomes really obvious. You know – white hair, thick middles, heavy wrinkles. A man who looked as good for his age as CB looks for hers wouldn’t lack for female admirers. We value polish and style more than men do. For that, and for the lack of female distaste for the signs of aging, you should be grateful, if you hope to marry a younger woman.

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  137. Funny how this has turned into a racial preference discussion.

    Asian women have two ages: young and old. There is no middle ground.

    Black women with soft hair and skin and light eyes are very nice.

    White women with a good attitude are nearly extinct, but one may still find a few in natural reserves in the mountain West.

    As for the Icelandic women, I can take them or leave them. Being of Celtic and Nordic heritage I fit in with those people, but the girls better damned well behave themselves, and that’s a lot to ask from Northern European women, who are notorious in multicultural societies like America.

    I think I’m best off with somewhat tall girls with good curves who want babies. For better or worse, I’m pretty good at getting women pregnant.

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  138. Dude.. you know that is totally because of PEARL CREAM

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  139. “If it’s an indication a girl is just filling her life with up junk in order to find some sort of meaning, that’s a bad sign.”

    If cooking classes and volunteer work are unacceptable pastimes how should a single woman occupy her spare time?

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  140. One reason why you suck so badly in the Women Dept is because you probably dress so shabby and in such a drab fashion, a Black Herb.

    Now come on dude, somebody has to be the herb. You rock your flashy stuff, and I’ll wear my bland Nautica sweaters. It suits my tastes… 🙂

    that “Wellesley Queen” you’ve mentioned?

    Eh, I’m not angry at her, and at some point, our friendship would wither on the vine because she was going to bigger and better places, while I stayed behind. Not everybody wants a beta sycophant around, and I’d imagine that lying about going to school was just the final straw.

    All Women want to help their Men be all they can be. It is in their Nature to do so, don’t take my word for it, ask Hello and Chic, Nicole and Grace, Sara and Clio. How do you think all those successful guys GOT so successful? Hmm Dave?

    It may be in their nature as I’ve noted from the “non-date g/f” and other women, but I’ve always found it to be a sign of weakness to rely on your woman to push you. A man should be able to push himself without a woman nagging him or telling him what to do.

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  141. The JAP who had never gone grocery shopping reminds of me of my friend’s girlfriend who had never pumped her own gas. She lived in Jersey where by law, attendants have to pump your gas and went to school in DC, where she didn’t have a car and took the Metro everywhere. But the thing was that she insisted that she would never pump her gas ever no matter where she lived.

    Oh, and Ashlee Dupree is hotter than Silda Spitzer right now, but she probably won’t look as good at 51 as Silda does.

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  142. Clio:

    The implication of Chic’s comments was that men are stupid or at least imperceptive, if they prefer the younger woman to the older Christie Brinkley. She might as well have written, “How could those ridiculous men prefer that girl to a classy woman like Christie?” On the contrary, Peter Cook knew exactly why he wanted to have an affair with an 18 year old, even though married to a former supermodel, and it wasn’t because he was imperceptive.

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  143. I expect that both Chic and H. genuinely believe Christie B. is better looking than her rival, and that belief isn’t self-delusion but a matter of personal taste.

    No doubt they do genuinely believe so. But there is no basis for them to pass judgement on men’s aesthetic preference for younger women.

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  144. whiskey:

    Bottom line — if women can choose not to have kids they will do so every time.

    That’s probably true, even though I’d argue that a society can have high living standards, 100% literacy, and lots of freedom for women, and still have conservative enough social norms to ensure mostly stable families and above-replacement birth rates. (In fact, some parts of the U.S. are still more or less like that.)

    However, you’re placing the blame for the demographic decline of the West solely on women, as if all men were eager to find wives and have lots of kids, but unable to find them. This is obviously absurd. Men also suffer massively from prolonged adolescence, unrealistic standards and expectations, and, most importantly, the general lack of incentive and motivation to raise kids.

    Both men and women nowadays choose not to procreate for the simple reason that kids are no longer an economic investment that will pay off in free labor and old age security. Instead, kids have become insanely expensive and high-maintenance luxury pets that will likely give you nothing back in the long run. (How many people have a meaningful relationship with their old-age parents and grandparents nowadays? Would anything else even be possible in a rapidly changing world where almost anyone beyond a certain age is hopelessly behind the times?) In such a situation, the only thing that might make people still have kids would be very conservative social norms that would shame and ostracize single and childless people beyond a certain age. In reality, however, nothing except religion can ever sustain such norms, and Christianity is mostly dead except for a few pockets in America that are still holding out.

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  145. Dave Alex my man, when it comes to “weird” stuff, you aint sayin’ nothin’ but a word. One of my best friends is a grad of Syracuse and Temple U, Summa Cum Laude, two degrees in Africana Studies and was about this close to being a full out Prof., when he got an epiphany and decided to go in another direction. Q-Dog.

    He says that I am a Freak, LOL. He doesn’t know anybody like me.

    You can fly under the radar, with what we know about you, what you listed above no one would really find that unusual.

    But me-someone who knows more about Cambodia than most folks of that descent do today; or who can hold conversations about the intricacies of the Sihk faith with Sikhs from India; or who knows who Tansu Ciller, or Anais Nin, or Noel Tyl is-Proles, ESPECIALLY Black ones, ain’t supposed to know that, Dave.

    So yup, I know all about tall orders, LOL. My life is one, big, tall order.

    I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with whatever and whoever you like Dave, because Life is so short and so fragile that it is entirely too short and brief and fleeting to follow the herd. If the Blancas do it for you, GO FOR IT. Just don’t half-ass it, man. If you’re do it, DO IT. Get a fuckin’ Knockout, cause you can get 3 or 4 right where you are, and that’s my only criticism of Brothas who hookup with White gals. You best believes that Mu really went Topo Shelf when he had his bouts of Jungle Fever.

    Holla back;)

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  146. Vladi, completely agree with what you said to Whiskey. Home Run.

    Dave Alex: *Serenity Now, Serenity Now*

    It’s not about being dependent on your Woman, Dave. Its about, and someone mentioned this earlier, finding a gal who can actually help you be a better person. WQ could have definitely done that, even as a student. How? Well, she knows people who know other people who would more than likely take a liking to you, that’s how. Worked for me. 😉

    Oh, and I own a blue pinstripe Nautica suit, three piece. Looks very nice with a pink shirt and matching Posie.:)

    Salaam
    Mu

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  147. on December 9, 2008 at 5:09 am Benito Hoover

    Both men and women nowadays choose not to procreate for the simple reason that kids are no longer an economic investment that will pay off in free labor and old age security. Instead, kids have become insanely expensive and high-maintenance luxury pets that will likely give you nothing back in the long run. (How many people have a meaningful relationship with their old-age parents and grandparents nowadays?
    —————————————————————————–
    Deep.

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  148. Here’s some advice, ladies. If a guy asks you out and you’re interested, don’t tell him you’re busy. That shit doesn’t work on us like it works on you. As you are women, I understand it’s hard to refrain from projecting your female desires onto men, but step outside of your solipsistic universes for one second and try to see it from a man’s point of view. We do not get aroused by “mystery”, or “playing hard to get”, or “scarcity”.

    Absolutely correct but being clingy doesn’t cut it, either. If you’re interested, show it.

    Like


  149. Since the topic of Time can up, I’d like to pose a Question, if I may:

    Do Blacks’ perceptions of Time differ from that of Whites’?

    […]


    Black Women seem to be fertile longer than White Women on average, and would have more babies too if it weren’t for the sheer number of Abortions they get per year. They get more than any other group of Women in the country, sadly.

    […]


    Then there’s “CP Time”; and I’m reminded of a dear mentor’s time in SAFR, and another’s when he was in Ghana, and both had noted how Black folks there regarded time. Totally different from White folks.

    So, the Question, again:

    Do Black folks and White folks regard, and experience Time differently?

    What do you think?

    Comments?

    Mu, I have to admire your intellectual integrity. You are Black and Muslim. Yet, if I recall correctly, you have called yourself a race-realist and have admitted that some aspects of Islam are problematic. Your ability to analyze touchy issues without bias is truly formidable.

    Your question is a good one. The average person of Sub- Saharan descent seems to discount the future to a greater degree than the average Caucasoid or Mongoloid. Obviously, the range of variation among individuals of each race is very large in this regard. (One of the most future-oriented people regularly commenting on this blog is David Alexander who is mostly of Sub-Saharan descent.) On a continental scale, this statistical difference has huge consequeces for Africa, a continent with huge long-term problems but too little willingness to employ long-term strategies to solve them.

    Black women seem to be more fertile and retain their fertility up to a later age than Whites. Sub-Saharan Africans have, on average, slightly shorter menstrual cycles and a higher twinning rate than Caucasoids.

    Why all these differences? Because Africa is almost entirely in the tropics it is rife with infectious disease. In the past, diseases relatively often wiped out entire local populations before they are were to grow anywhere near the local carrying capacity in numbers. Therefore, the winners in an evolutionary sense were those who reproduced faster than others relatively more often than on other continents. Of course, infectious diseases and other disasters struck human communities elsewhere, too, but somewhat less often, and when they did, they were easier to mitigate by human actions. For example, the greatest threat faced by those early modern humans who took the northern route around the Himalaya from Europe to Asia was the awful winter of Siberia and starvation.

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  150. “The implication of Chic’s comments was that men are stupid or at least imperceptive, if they prefer the younger woman to the older Christie Brinkley. ”

    I don’t want to speak for Chic, but from my perspective that wasn’t it at all. I was just stating a different opinion. As the guys on this blog constantly state men and women are different, and I think the women who comment here are far less judgemental about men than are many of the male commentators about women

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  151. Markku,
    Thanks, man. At this point in the game, small “g”, ain’t much sense acting like everybody don’t know what the deal is. We all part of the Human Family, and like any other family, we got our share of dysfunction too, LOL. So we just gotta deal.

    Yup, Allah IS Akbar-but we got some problems in the Holy Land. I remember when all the hub bub was surrounding the Muhammad cartoons, which followed on the heel of Pope Benedict XVI’s remarks while giving a lecture in Germany. My reaction by how segements of the Islamic World reacted on both counts, was sheer disgust, and I said as much publicly.

    In the case of the cartoons, there *should* have been even a semi-organized write-in campaign to the papers, explaining the Islamic position on how and why images were forbidden per Islamic doctrine. Editorials in rival papers could have been written; radio shows could have been aired, and so on.

    Wrt the Pope’s remarks, a group of Imams could have gotten themselves together, and challenged the Pope to a Debate/Dialogue, on the Question: Is Islam a Friend, or Foe to the World?-and took it right to the Vatican. They could have called urgently for calm throughout the Umma, and something productive could have come out of all that. EVEN IF THEY CAME AWAY IN DISAGREEMENT. Its still talking (and I sooooo agree with what Zan, I think, said in The Game: ALL comments are IOIs.)

    The problems in the Umma are DEEP, man, and contrary to what a lot there think, the Jews ain’t got a damn thing to do with like, 99% of em. And while true, the USA’s got its hands dirty a bit, the real deal is, the Infidels of North America ain’t behind the everyday Muslim and Muslimah’s problems. Its other, obstensibly, Muslims.

    Anyway, going back to the original Question (Roissy’s): I have a theory. All the Indirect-Speak that so many Whites do in my country coul be a major cause in all the Anxiety, Depression, and other problems they have, thus leading to drug and alcohol abuse, etc. I agree with R on this point: you White Women should be as clear and direct as possible when dealing with Men. You could do it like this:

    *Assuming you’re NOT interested*

    “Zeets, listen…you’re a nice guy. But I’m not attracted to you like that. And I understand if you don’t want any further contact with me.”

    Simple, short and sweet. Now, if you ARE interested:

    *After Zeets asks you out, “so what you doing next week?”*

    “You can call me tomorrow between 10AM & 1PM”. Something like that.

    This gives a Target for a Man to reach for; he knows you’re available; he knows he can call you; and you haven’t put yourself totally out on Front St. Yo just showed a little leg, so to speak. Enough to follow up on.

    Make sense?

    Holla back

    Salaam
    Mu

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  152. @Vlad

    I think the problem is even more complicated than you speak about. To understand children, one has to understand the incentive to form a stable relationship. To understand that, we jump back into the incredible tangle that we’ve developed during this gradual unwinding of traditional marriage and the legal clusterfuck that results.

    I would personally argue men tend to want children but not the legal issues that come with marriage or children, and women tend to want the legal issues that come with marriage and children, but not children.

    Either way, there’s a disconnect and it hurts birth rates, so if you are a population expansionist, this is all bad.

    @Mu

    Well spoken on Islam. The greatest enemy of any given religion is almost always that religion itself. The sooner people realize that Islam has been hijacked to serve other interests, the earlier it can be fixed.

    In terms of the cycles that major religions tend to go through, Islam could be inching towards a “reform” period.

    I say this, by the way, as an agnostic who has studied almost every major religion’s social context, network, and reach as part of a very real professional concern. So I don’t have a horse in this race (pun intended on your previous commentary).

    @Hello

    The problem is not a woman doing that “junk”, the problem is filling up all of your time with it. If you are so hyper-tense as to over-schedule yourself to the point of having zero free time for an entire week even in the face of a date with someone you are interested in, that tells me I’m very seriously not interested.

    If it’s going to be that much of a pain in the ass to see someone, I don’t care how interesting / hot / appealing you are, it’s not worth my fucking time. Now, if someone goes out of the way to say “I’m very interested, and this week is an exception, I’m really sorry can we do next week?” I’ll probably (though not always) say yes.

    But that’s not what happened here, and I think that is the point of filling up the time with that junk. And yes, most volunteer work is junk – the efficiency of most organizations and efforts is close to zero (often they do not recover in impact what they spend in money and effort), and most people are doing it for the social visibility anyways.

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  153. Regarding the riots in Greece: does anyone know if the rioters are Greek youths, or “Greek youths,” (immigrants and their Greek-born children) ?

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  154. Thursday, if there was a hint of criticism in Chic’s post, it’s because she, herself very young and a woman, doesn’t value youth the way you do and doesn’t quite understand its importance to men yet, though she is aware of it. Like most people of either sex, she finds the incomprehensible inexplicable.

    When I was a girl, and up until my mid-20s, I never could understand why men found youth, all by itself and without any great beauty to back it up, so irresistible. I even envied the polish and style of older women – older then meaning to me 28-35 or so. I wasn’t ignorant of men’s preference, and my attitude wasn’t based in ideology – it was just that I found it mysterious. I had to get a little older, and note the very first signs of aging in my own person, to see the attraction of the perfect skin and firm flesh of extreme youth.

    Most women thought Lady Diana sexier after she glammed herself up, but I know many men who found the photos of her as a teen in overalls or frumpy dresses, limbs akimbo and radiating awkwardness and youthful bloom, far more, er, juicily appealing .

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  155. Regarding the riots in Greece: does anyone know if the rioters are Greek youths, or “Greek youths,” (immigrants and their Greek-born children) ?

    The kid’s name who was shot point blank by police was named Alexandros Grigoropoulos. Sounds pretty ethnically Greek to me. I doubt this is as simple as an immigrants vs. ethnically Greek issue, from what I’ve read, although many immigrants are probably taking advantage of the death to riot (something hard to figure out since the media would never openly say so), it appears a lot of this has been simmering for a while and stems from class tension and lack of faith in the Greek government.

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  156. not sure if this has been breached yet, but Zeets trolling around on the internet for pussy…i dunno about that. might as well do craigslist. sack up and get out there. it’s about the hunt.

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  157. PA, it seems to be both. It started with “youth” and once it was going, the youth joined in and took over. It’s a pretty common type of a riot in Europe these days.

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  158. jaakeli, from what i’ve read it seems to be the opposite, that it started with the youth, the friends and relatives and neighbors of the Greek boy, then as it got going the “youth” joined in. then again i distrust the media all over the world, so who knows the real deal?

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  159. Just making sure, youth represents Greek descent while “youth” represents immigrants and 1st-generation Greeks?

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  160. Hello:

    Learning to cook and volunteer time are not only acceptable, they are pluses for me.

    The problem is that I can’t tell the difference between a girl who genuinely wants to do these things and is a “total 10” and a poor depressed soulless girl who is just doing these things because she thinks it will give her some purpose/meaning/whatever/afraid of downtime.

    Plus: No free time at all?

    I would put down a book if I had an attractive date. And I think most people would agree. So if you don’t have any free time for me…it means you don’t have any free time to read…and then I question how much of a “total 10” you could possibly be. 😉

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  161. Actually, I’m confused. Some news sources say the riots started with the shooting of a 15 year old boy and makes it seem like it started with friends, families and neighbors of the boy. But then I found this:
    http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5jW3OkF5W4p7I7qXcSUuUJhBQ_ZXA

    Making it seem like the riots were caused by asylum seekers angry over being turned away from submitting asylum applications by authorities, which supports PA’s theory.

    Is it the media being PC? Are they both causes of the riots but the media is only reporting on the PC cause (the Greek boy?) Anyone knowledgeable about Greek affairs here?

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  162. T, it’s very simple: asylum seekers began rioting on Friday, the teenager was shot dead on Saturday. Us European net nazis who counter the media with international rumours knew of the riots before the kid was shot. Somehow the media seems to have completely forgotten that – a paranoid mind might think that they like “unprovoked police brutality” stories more than “rioting has grim consequences” stories.

    Of course, it’s possible that the asylum seeker and anarchist riots were entirely separate incidents, but the media that is recognizing the Friday riots isn’t saying so, like you pointed out.

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  163. …the shooting does seem to be what spread the riots everywhere, though.

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  164. Re: Diana Bianchi – friend of mine met her briefly – 20 years older than her, TV-good looking, glib, very successful, lovely wife blah blah blah. He was just blown away. The morale of the story is, pussy just makes you batshit crazy sometimes. Young pussy, x10.

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  165. hey, I like to take cooking classes and keep busy. wait, what?

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  166. “If cooking classes and volunteer work are unacceptable pastimes how should a single woman occupy her spare time?”

    Hanging with her friends (she has friends, right?), reading books and going to the gym all indicate good things to me.

    Cooking classes = idiot who can’t cook; most idiots who can’t cook, other than being idiots who can’t cook, end up fat.

    Volunteer work = do gooder idiot -generally bad people compensating for a lack of morality in their personal lives.

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  167. mu…at least for this white guy, black people don’t seem to show their age physically, up to a certain point at least, as much as white people do. Maybe this helps explain the effect you’re asking about, though there are probably psychological reasons too.

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  168. “Left wingery versus Islam. ”

    I wouldn’t be surprised if we actually were doing something like that, more or less on purpose. There’s a reason the spooks use Mormons for agents, and it’s not just because they often have overseas experience. Moral fiber is useful.

    It’s funny, the Nation article seems to see the whole phenomenon as being an encouraging sign of enlightenment somehow. The reasoning seems to be, if only they’d use condoms and attend sex education workshops like a proper upper middle class American degenerate, they’d vote to turn their country into the Netherlands. Maybe there is something to that; their birth rate is comparable.

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  169. Mu’Min

    All Women want to help their Men be all they can be. It is in their Nature to do so, don’t take my word for it, ask Hello and Chic, Nicole and Grace, Sara and Clio. How do you think all those successful guys GOT so successful? Hmm Dave?

    Are you speaking of the “wind beneath my wings” type of woman? The ” behind the throne” type of woman? The “for your own good” type of woman; kind of like your mother perhaps?

    Of course if a woman loves a man she wants to facilitate his success, but that helpfulness varies greatly. To some women they make their husband’s success their #1 priority which could be emasculating. To some women their man damn well better be successful or it reflects badly on THEM. Rather than have their own interests/career or what not, they overly focus on whatever man they are with.

    Further; facilitating a man’s success may mean to simply keep the home fires burning, the home functioning smoothly, without demanding too much from him.

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  170. This is a really common way women in the urban Jewish communities indicate non-interest, implying that their busy lives don’t have space…for a man like you. Some of the strangest urban drug-rapists lately (Marsalis in Philly, one other guy in Chicago, one HIGH SCHOOL teacher in SF) have been young Jewish men from economically-marginal positions for their subculture (Marsalis was an EMT who failed out of nursing school) reacting to a really prevalent female message of “Yes I do but not with you.” One of the great wars the feminist blogosphere has been waging is against “male entitlement”, complaining that it’s the actual “No” that offends so-called “beta males” and leads to their creepy, clingy behavior, when in fact they are essentially asking all men outside the top 10% (and more than 90% of men will be in that position, for not all on top stay on top) to ratify their permanent exclusion from sexual and romantic life. “Yes I do but not with you.”

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  171. One of the weirdo things about Iran is that the urban/rural split means that the buy-in for “muta’a” (temporary, usually additional wife) marriage among poor rural men is a lot lower than for a normal, arranged 1st-wife marriage in an urban area. This means that a lot of poor, “big-fish-in-small-pond” rural thug head-breakers with multiple wives will be at the service of the regime in crushing any dissatisfied unmarried urban betas who try to rebel. “The Nation” is sometimes capable of fine distinctions, but it thinks that Iran ends with Tehran or sometimes Isfahan. It doesn’t.

    Also see the Iranian film “The Lizard” for a noble morality play about a burglar who plays at being a mullah in order to counsel morality (and kick the @$$ of a local wife-beater) in a small village. Never happen in real life.

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  172. “Choosing youth over beauty” — haha.

    Asking women to judge female beauty… you might as well ask a slug to do it. What incentive does the slug have to figure out the correct answer?

    Actually, women do have good reason to find out who truly is beautiful — because men value beauty so much, and those girls are the ones most likely to steal your man’s attention, draw his resources from you to her, etc.

    Therefore, ignore all dispassionate, Kantian pronouncements that women give about who is beautiful. Instead, look at who they channel their rage at.

    By chance, their brain’s rage circuitry will misfire, attacking runway models that men don’t pay attention to, or fail to fire, as with Audrey Hepburn. On the whole, though, women’s rage speaks louder than their philosophy.

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  173. Off topic, but I’d really like to get a man’s (or another woman’s opinion) on this. If you had broken it off with your most recent ex, and a month later were humping another women who fell madly in love with you and basically became everything you ever wanted in a woman and then you proposed to her, would you then pix msg. your ex a photo of her engagement ring? This happened yesterday morning. My response? Nada. I think he wants some kind of reaction and I’m fresh out.

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  174. sara, it looks like your ex is trying to make you jealous. Tell him it’s a nice ring and keep it moving.

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  175. Thursday that 18 is a 6 or 7 at best. Christie Brinkley is a 50 year old 12 and a 30 year old 9.

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  176. To be perfectly honest Thursday, I think Christie Brinkley is one of the few people who have become better looking as she has gotten older.

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  177. Thursday that 18 is a 6 or 7 at best.

    Chic, Clio was making the best possible case for you, and then you have to go and show that you _are_ completely delusional. Diana Bianchi is at least an 8 and probably closer to a 9. The perfect illustration of Agnostic’s maxim:

    Asking women to judge female beauty… you might as well ask a slug to do it.

    Also read Affe’s comment.

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  178. Clio said Both Hello and Chic concluded that men obviously prefer youth to beauty, so it’s not as if they are guilty of wishful thinking. It’s not really possible to be female and not be aware of this fact, esp. if you actually are older than 30 or so.
    You got it Clio.
    expect that both Chic and H. genuinely believe Christie B. is better looking than her rival, and that belief isn’t self-delusion but a matter of personal taste
    Yes, I really think Christie B is better looking than her rival. In fact she is better looking that most women who are 20 years younger and better looking than almost half of all American women who are 30 years younger.
    A man who looked as good for his age as CB looks for hers wouldn’t lack for female admirers. We value polish and style more than men do
    Epic comment Clio. Men in my age group lack a sense of personal style. As a group, even older American men have a tendency to look frumpy. It seems that only effeminate gay American men are stylish. I guess that’s why I write about French and Italian men so often, because the two groups seem to have it.

    Thursday The implication of Chic’s comments was that men are stupid or at least imperceptive, if they prefer the younger woman to the older Christie Brinkley.
    No, I really think Christie B. is the better looking of the two. Now had he cheated with a young Linda Carter or Jacquline Smith, I would understand how he found the later two more attractive than the first.
    She might as well have written, “How could those ridiculous men prefer that girl to a classy woman like Christie? No, I understand. There is no P*Ssy like young/new p&$sy. I really think Christie B. is the better looking of the two.

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  179. There are plenty of beautiful and hot black women out there, but finding a beautiful oreo seems to be a bit more difficult
    DA, in my experience those types of blk girls are part of the small number who date non blk exclusively. I’m not an oreo, however I take pleasure in “things” that I should have no interest in according to stereotypes of blk women. I date whoever but I seem to have a preference for Asian men and Black men(often dark complected).
    One reason why you suck so badly in the Women Dept is because you probably dress so shabby and in such a drab fashion, a Black Herb. No woman wants the same ole shit
    Preach Mu. As much as I like that some guys have stopped wearing their jeans so baggy, I fear that the rock-and-roll/hipster look still be copied & worn by most innercity* ybm for the next ten years without a change in style. It kills me to see them sag when their jeans are so tight that have to take baby steps as they walk. DA, having your own style will set you apart from most others.
    Gvchanp But, dammit, I want a 10. And a 10 tries to improve herself
    Become a trader on wall st when the economy improves. You will almost be guaranteed to get yourself a 10. Just keep in mind that she may not like or love you as much as you love her. If you can handle that, all may go well.
    Thursaday No doubt they do genuinely believe so. But there is no basis for them to pass judgement on men’s aesthetic preference for younger women
    I don’t I passed judgment on men’s aesthetic preference for younger women. If I did, no biggie.
    As a younger woman myself, I’ve seen women are 10-20 years older than me and they happen to be at my level and/or slightly better. I understand that men like new fresh off the grill flesh that has never been plundered. Yet, at the end of the day, I don’t think youth trumps older exceptional beauty, Christie Brinkley being an example

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  180. Thursday via AgnosticAsking women to judge female beauty… you might as well ask a slug to do it

    Well people are different. I don’t think the little girl is a beast. If fact she is more attractive than most but at best, she is pretty6 or 7. Christie B. is beautiful and a 10.

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  181. I understand that men like new fresh off the grill flesh that has never been plundered.

    That’s not it — we don’t want the ripe fruit because it hasn’t been bitten yet (though that’s cool too). We want it because it hasn’t withered and spoiled.

    I doubt that Christie Brinkley has had lots of dicks in her, because elite females don’t have to slut it up. And she seems like a nice enough woman, not a ball-busting go-getter. Rather, our lukewarm feelings toward her now reflect the fact that she isn’t incredibly beautiful.

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  182. Benito Hoover
    Both men and women nowadays choose not to procreate for the simple reason that kids are no longer an economic investment that will pay off in free labor and old age security. Instead, kids have become insanely expensive and high-maintenance luxury pets that will likely give you nothing back in the long run. How many people have a meaningful relationship with their old-age parents and grandparents nowadays?
    —————————————————————————–
    Deep

    Shakes head in agreement
    *lifts fan*
    Amen

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  183. “DA, in my experience those types of blk girls are part of the small number who date non blk exclusively.”

    You know more here than I do, but I’d think that an oreo girl would have more in common with an oreo guy than a non-black guy. Feeling out of place etc. and the parents would approve.

    ” I’m not an oreo, however I take pleasure in “things” that I should have no interest in according to stereotypes of blk women. ”

    What’s the difference between someone like you and a true blue (or true white) oreo like DA? I’m genuinely curious not trying to be insulting.

    ” I date whoever but I seem to have a preference for Asian men and Black men(often dark complected).”

    In all my travels I’ve only seen two bf/am couples and one involved a biracial girl. The other was rather cute as they were both similarly-shaped tall toothpicks. Far more bf/wm couples and those in America are still fairly rare though this has changed a lot in the past few years. I think that Asian men tend to be shier than blacks and whites and they are slower to approach me even when I smile. Do you make the first move w/ Asian guys?

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  184. “How many people have a meaningful relationship with their old-age parents and grandparents nowadays?”

    *Raising hand*

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  185. “How many people have a meaningful relationship with their old-age parents and grandparents nowadays?”

    Parents who make their kids their first priority and model family oriented behavior raise kids who have close relationships with them. Materialists raise kids who couldn’t care less.

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  186. “That’s not it — we don’t want the ripe fruit because it hasn’t been bitten yet (though that’s cool too). We want it because it hasn’t withered and spoiled.”

    The appearance of that, at least, as in the eternal ingenue makes up for a lot even if it is not technically true.

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  187. No, I understand. There is no P*Ssy like young/new p&$sy. I really think Christie B. is the better looking of the two.

    I understand that men like new fresh off the grill flesh that has never been plundered.

    No, you don’t understand. Men aren’t attracted to younger women because they like the idea of youth. Nor are men primiarily attracted to young women because they like the idea of being one of her first lovers, though that does hold some minor attractions. Men are primarily attracted to younger women because they look better. Period. Full stop.

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  188. Agnostic saidI doubt that Christie Brinkley has had lots of dcks in her, because elite females don’t have to slut it up
    I agree with you.

    Rather, our lukewarm feelings toward her now reflect the fact that she isn’t incredibly beautiful.
    We must agree to disagree. Although there are a few lines on her face, she is still one of the better-looking women in this country. I think most women of any age will agree that Christy is a stunner. I understand that men think differently but I really really really do think Christy is a true beauty who looks better older.

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  189. I understand that men like new fresh off the grill flesh that has never been plundered.
    Plundered by life and the elements. I guess I could have made that a bit clearer.
    sorry

    Men are primarily attracted to younger women because they look better.

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  190. You know more here than I do, but I’d think that an oreo girl would have more in common with an oreo guy than a non-black guy. Feeling out of place etc. and the parents would approve.

    It depends on a lot of factors. Is she an Oreo simply because of the environment she grew up in or is it a deliberate choice based on self-hate? For example think of the Asian version, the “Twinkies” who only date white. They will not date an Asian guy whatsoever, even if he’s a twinkie himself. A self-hating Oreo chick will have the same issues.

    Also, what are her daddy issues like? And does she love her black daddy or want to rebel against him? Did black guys and girls mock her for “acting white” when growing up? She may resent black guys for that reason too.

    There are a lot of subspecies to the Oreo. For example there is the Oreo who grew up immersed in a dysfunctional black environment and hates black guys as a result. She wants nothing more than a white guy to be her knight in shining armor. Then you have the Oreos like Obama, Oreos who grew up with limited contact with blacks and very little racial awareness growing up, simply because they had no access to any. These types of Oreos overcompensate a lot later on, especially in college and onward, trying everything they can to be extra-black and extra racially aware as if to make up for lost time. You can see this in Obama’s autobiography for example.

    In my findings, I’ve honestly found white women to be easier to date than Oreos. Oroes either won’t date a black guy no matter what his pedigree, or will date black guys but try too hard to be pro-black.

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  191. Hello You know more here than I do, but I’d think that an oreo girl would have more in common with an oreo guy than a non-black guy. Feeling out of place etc. and the parents would approve

    Sometimes the parents of an oreo daughter can see the future IR before the daughter brings home the husband. Just like the parents of very effeminate little boy(ugly betty’s nephew) can see the day he will come out as gay.

    Most likely, the oreo girl will feel very comfortable around white people. There is a good chance she goes to school with and lives in majority non area blk. Her hobbies and her likes/dislikes are such that she doesn’t run into many other blacks but when she does she is either happy or disappointed to see her fellow blacks there. As a quirky black girl, I’ve run into both types Hello. Quirky blk girls also tend to like Asian men(besides a young Russel Wong) more so than the general population of blk girls.

    Chances are, the oreo girl has been teased so much that she may/maynot come to detest blks who are not like herself. There is even a chance that she will swing the other way one day to become very militant. Shocking as it is, there are some people in successful IR who are quite militant.

    hello
    “How many people have a meaningful relationship with their old-age parents and grandparents nowadays?”

    *Raising hand*
    May God bless you for being a good daughter!

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  192. chicnoir

    sara, it looks like your ex is trying to make you jealous. Tell him it’s a nice ring and keep it moving.

    Thanks for the suggestion, but too much effort. No response is the best response at this point. If I was so in love with someone that I was going to marry them, I don’t think I would give a flying fuck if my ex were jealous or not. Further, if I knew my fiance’ used our engagement in an attempt to make his ex jealous I would SERIOUSLY question his love for me. It would be OVER and I’m not kidding. You see, my ex knows that about me, which is why he misses me so much. Besides me, he’s never had a real woman, and his entire relationship with her is an attempt to make me jealous.

    He simply cannot stand that there might be a woman on this planet who could honestly get over him. I didn’t think I could be MORE over him, until this latest little stupidity.

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  193. Chic,
    Dave Alex just don’t know; if you know how to work it, Preppy can be Sexy, too.
    Just ask Kanye’ West.;)

    I’ve NEVER been into the whole saggy pants crap, though I’ve never gone the other extreme with the White Hipsters/Slackers and had pants so tight you’d look like you go the other way. When I’m in Prole Mode, I wear either Cargo Khakis or Workman’s Blues (don’t get it twisted, many a Woman find that Rough n Ready look da bomb too, I’ve found, LOL) and they tend to be a bit spacious-but I’ve always worn a belt with em do they never, ever sag.

    I wear skullies real close to the dome (almost resembling a kufi) and Military-inspired gear during the week, and then I have what one of my Oldheads, Rufus, called “Soft Clothes”. One closet for outerwear, the other for my suits n stuff. But yea, during the week I like to keep a utilitarian look, everything’s functional and on the weekend, the Peacock comes out.

    And I suppose I take a bit farther than I normally would, because I’m Blue Collar and work in a drab environment, no Women, etc. So I like the change of pace.

    What I’d say to Dave Alex, or anyone else, and this is what I’ve learned, is that you have to do what actually feels comfortable to you; you have to stretch out of your comfort zone, but not so far that stuff’s wearing you instead of the other way around.

    I’ve always been somewhat conservative so the whole “gentleman” vibe fits me. I simply ramp it up a bit-so I don’t wear loud colored suits, what I do is save it for the shirts, ties, ascots, etc. Women LOVE a Well-Accesorized Man. Gloves, scarf, cufflinks and belt, moneyclip, SHOES LOOKING GOOD, pocket-square, overcoat, umbrella, walking stick, skimmer (slang for hat y’all), etc.

    So, I have no problem at all playing a pink shirt with a grey or black or even blue suit. None at all. Or say, a black suit w/an explosive green tie, stuff like that.

    I generally like Earthtones, but I always knew, and my recent reading only confirmed, that Ladies Love Shiny Shit. Brown and tan can work, but its gotta be high quality, rich brown and tan, etc, NOT the drab, dreary stuff. And as a rule, White guys should stay away from that. They wanna work with the “harder” edged stuff.

    A good, high quality Grey suit will definitely take you places. It can’t be like, Church Deacon greay, you know what I mean? Or I don’t, Quantico grey. Its gotta be a really quality Grey. I had a really nice Saks Fifth Ave grey suit that was a Bonafide Booty Magnet.

    I’d advice Dave Alex-or any man under 6′ really-to stay away from double-breasted suits. They only make you even shorter than you are, and you want the illusion of more height. So, to get that, go with more buttons in a straight line. Four button is good, and for God’s sake, don’t choke your coat! I see SOOOO many White guys who do that! What is up with that?

    Same deal with overcoats-if you’re short, don’t call yourself looking like Neo or Blade (although Snipes is kinda short). Instead, work w/a piece that hits you at the knee. Neatness counts, Women have the kind of vision that takes the whole scene in at once; Men’s vision breaks down into specific parts of a scene; we “zoom in” more.

    A slight of build man like Dave can really work layering well-a suit jacket over a vest or sweater, long-sleeved or vest, and then a shirt. NO SHORT SLEEVE DRESS SHIRTS.

    Guys like Dave A or me, do well w/a bit of a lift in their shoes-not Prince-like heels, but a good inch or so. I don’t like the current style of roachkillers one because they remind me of Genie shoes, and two because I’ve got a wide albeit small foot for a man. So I like the “biscuit” style as the Oldheads used to call em, the square-front shoes w/plenty of room in the front. I’ve always been partial to Kenneth Cole, they make a good shoe. Aldo ain’t bad either.

    And talk about right-fitting clothes!-Chic, most guys don’t know the first thing about a right fitting suit AT ALL. A Versace one of a kind can look horrid if it don’t fit right, while an off the rack Grandpa JC Penny deal can be the bomb-its all about the fit. In fact, one of the best suits I ever had, that saw plenty of time at the gig and on the dancefloor was a Navy Blue pinstripe three button I got from Jos. A. Bank.

    Oh, and with all due respect to Roissy, I have to seriously disagree-a Haircut can give a Man a New Lease on Life. My barber Johnny, who’s been my Cut-Man for what, 15 years now (and that’s another thing about us Black folk-we don’t just let anyone mess with the Doo. Uh uh. Many a Brotha have gone Wolfin’ for real if they couldn’t get to their personal Barber rather than just hit up whoever’s available. Ask T and Chic if I’m lyin’, LOL) is so precise with the blades that when I go walkin’ out of his shop the Females Catcall Mu. Can’t speak for White Women like that, but I know, for a fact, that the Sistas love a Man with a Fresh Cut. Yes, Sir. It makes a huge difference.

    It really is sad that so many Brothas, White and Black, have no sense of style at all. Its bad on the female side too, but its really bad for the Ys.

    Parting shot: like I said, I’ve been catcalled quite a bit in my life, by Women. Maybe that explains why I never felt right doing that myself.;)

    Holla back

    Salaam
    Mu

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  194. What’s the difference between someone like you and a true blue (or true white) oreo like DA? I’m genuinely curious not trying to be insulting.
    I don’t think you are being insulting. This^^ a very good question.
    For one thing, my father drilled it into my head who and what I am. It’s very easy to develop a sort of Stockholm syndrome when you are African-American living in this country*. Not knowing your history(beyond slavery), who your people are(what tribe/ethnic group) ,and having no understanding of their customs beyond being told that voodoo is a devil religion. Thank God things have gotten a bit better in that there are things to read if you want to know more about who you are beyond the Tarzan movies & the dark continent type of stuff.
    Hello, I think it’s important to be able to walk both worlds. I can get along with almost anyone from any walk of life. I don’t look down on poor people or those with low iq because society thinks they are less than. I also don’t discard African-American culture because the larger American culture has no use for it beyond rap,jazz, and blues music. I pick and choose what I want to take from African-American culture, the same with mainstream American culture.
    DA has an extreme mixture of racial self hatred & all around hatred of himself. He has brought into the crap about himself as a blk man that is given off by American society(I’m not calling anyone here a racist btw). He also suffers embarrassment from the misconduct of blks who misbehave.
    Although, I think that there are very few blacks who don’t watch the six o’clock news with their fingers crossed. Asians went threw the same thing with Chao’s massacre at Virginia Tech. Beyond a racist incident, I don’t think most white people feel any type of guilt when another whites “acts up”.
    Ashley Dupree didn’t make American white girls feel guilty about her being a prostitute. If it found out that Condi Rice turned a trick in her younger days, black women across the country would be pissed. Behind closed doors there would be talk like,”damn now why she had to go and mess us up”, “she f ed up so they will never give us another chance”,” and we wonder why they say those types of things about us” ,and “all around the world AA women are getting the reputation as hoes” blah blah blah.

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  195. Hello, there is a movie by the name of Afro Punk which gives you a sneak peak into the world of “oreo” blks who are into alternative music. You can watch bits f and pieces of afro punk on youtube. I think the movie’s director is James Spooner and he had a second movie about Oreo blk guy. DA, I think that movie would be perfect for you(no joke). It seems as if he made the story of your life.

    *I know ¼ because of the Ethiopian part of me, which is more than most AA.
    Do you make the first move w/ Asian guys?
    Not really
    Beyond eye contact, I don’t do anything special. Asian men often say something about my eyes when they approach. Maybe my pheromones tell them I’m interested. I’ve gotten, “Are they your real eyelashes” or “your eyebrows are very nice” and “you have such innocent looking eyes”.
    I tried to approach a guy once and it didn’t work out for me so I said never again. I’m not sure if I mentioned here. Using KISS,I turned into the creepy weird guy and he put distance between the two of us in about 30 seconds flat.

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  196. T saidThen you have the Oreos like Obama, Oreos who grew up with limited contact with blacks and very little racial awareness growing up, simply because they had no access to any.

    I don’t see him as an oreo but I know this type of oreo. Your description is dead on. You often find blks who were adopted by whites falling into this category. I’ve met a few white guys who were the reverse.

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  197. Chic,
    Dave Alex just don’t know; if you know how to work it, Preppy can be Sexy, too.
    Just ask Kanye’ West.;)

    *shakes head in agreement*
    Pharrell(my husband) works the blk hipster/preppy look as well.
    I’ve always been somewhat conservative so the whole “gentleman” vibe fits me. I simply ramp it up a bit-so I don’t wear loud colored suits, what I do is save it for the shirts, ties, ascots, etc. Women LOVE a Well-Accesorized Man. Gloves, scarf, cufflinks and belt, moneyclip, SHOES LOOKING GOOD, pocket-square, overcoat, umbrella, walking stick, skimmer (slang for hat y’all), etc
    Loves it, an American man who looks good is priceless.
    An ascot, you are too much MU. If you had added a monocle you would have killed me.

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  198. Oh, and with all due respect to Roissy, I have to seriously disagree-a Haircut can give a Man a New Lease on Life.cosign My barber Johnny, who’s been my Cut-Man for what, 15 years now (and that’s another thing about us Black folk-we don’t just let anyone mess with the Doo. Uh uh. Many a Brotha have gone Wolfin’ for real if they couldn’t get to their personal Barber rather than just hit up whoever’s available. Ask T and Chic if I’m lyin’, LOL)-,he’s not, some blk men will do without a cut versus letting any random barber cut their hair

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  199. Chic,
    Well, I’ve always been an admirer of Morris Day; always thought he was just Da Man. And I don’t know, maybe I was a Victorian Aristocrat in a past life (which might explain why I like the book My Secret Life so much, LOL). So I’ve always liked that vibe.

    While I’m on this note, there’s a few other Notable Guys I’ve always admired:

    Denzel Washington Training Day

    Gary Oldman The Professional, Dracula

    Forrest Whittaker Last King of Scotland

    Jack Nicholson Batman, A Few Good Men,
    One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, The Witches of Eastwick, and that Werewolf flick he did with Michelle Pfiffer

    Al Pacino Godfather Series, Heat & of course, Scarface

    Russell Crowe Gladiator (“Are you not entertained?”)

    Jim Morrison-gotta be one of thee most influential figures on Rock n Roll music EVER

    Frank Sinatra-The Man

    Marvin Gaye-Your sure love to Ball

    Malcolm X-A true Pull-Yourself-Up-By-Your-Bootstraps Story

    Muhammad Ali-For Daring to call himself The Greatest-and The Prettiest

    Sugar Ray Robinson & Jackie Robinson-Smooth & Grace Under Pressure

    Barry White-Love Doctor

    Teddy Pendergrass-You Got/You Got/You Got What I Need!!!

    And last but not least…

    Sean Connery-I wanna be like him when I get Old

    OK holla back

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  200. ” Beyond a racist incident, I don’t think most white people feel any type of guilt when another whites ‘acts up’.”

    That is the true white privilege.

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  201. “Jim Morrison-gotta be one of thee most influential figures on Rock n Roll music EVER”

    *fainting*

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  202. Hey Mu, you like to capitalize nouns. Is your Inner German about to burst out Alien style? 😉

    (All nouns are written in upper case in German.)

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  203. Sean Connery-I wanna be like him when I get Old

    Just don’t slap women around.

    @hello- Yes, for the most part that’s what they are talking about when they speak of white privilege.
    I was really shocked that East Asians felt the need to apologize for Chao’s actions. As a group, their dirt isn’t on the six o’clock news like that of other groups. I guess East Asians from that region took heed to what happened to Muslims following September 11. It only takes one ( 18) to screw it up for the group(1billion?).
    I think there was a Chinese scientist who was accused of selling secrets to the Chinese government back in the mid90’s. I was very young, but I remember there being a news program that discussed how they darkened his picture when he was on the cover of Time or Newsweek to give him a sinister appearance (a la OJ). There was also tabloid show coverage of how dangerous it was for so many foreign nationals to work at such big posts in government labs etc…

    If only we would invest in our own best and brightest instead of importing them from other parts of the world.

    Jim Morrison-gotta be one of thee most influential figures on Rock n Roll music EVER
    Was such a cool dude. If I’m not mistaken he is barried in Paris.

    Frank Sinatra-The Man
    According to a book written by Sinatra’s butler or personal assistant, Sinatra had to wear special underwear because he was so huge.

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  204. From what I’ve seen,
    Frank Sinatra was a very cool man. He was what I would call smooth.

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  205. “According to a book written by Sinatra’s butler or personal assistant, Sinatra had to wear special underwear because he was so huge.”

    *eyes popping*

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  206. Markku,
    I didn’t know that man, LOL! And, interestingly enough, I did grow up in Germantown and graduated from Germantown High. Deep! Bill Cosby went there too, btw: Bibi Netanyahu went to Cheltenham High, right outside Philly. Small World, ooops.;)

    Holla back

    Salaam
    Mu

    Like


  207. “Further, if I knew my fiance’ used our engagement in an attempt to make his ex jealous I would SERIOUSLY question his love for me.”

    What a horrible narcissist. Are you sure he doesn’t post here?

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  208. sara I

    Off topic, but I’d really like to get a man’s (or another woman’s opinion) on this. If you had broken it off with your most recent ex, and a month later were humping another women who fell madly in love with you and basically became everything you ever wanted in a woman and then you proposed to her, would you then pix msg. your ex a photo of her engagement ring? This happened yesterday morning. My response? Nada. I think he wants some kind of reaction and I’m fresh out.

    Maybe you can be happy for him.

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  209. hello:

    “How many people have a meaningful relationship with their old-age parents and grandparents nowadays?”

    Parents who make their kids their first priority and model family oriented behavior raise kids who have close relationships with them. Materialists raise kids who couldn’t care less.

    You’re right that it’s still possible to raise kids so that they truly respect you and strive to maintain a close relationship with you forever, but you must admit that it’s not easy. Getting alienated from your kids once they grow up is no longer an exceptional misfortune, but pretty much the default course of events that you must skillfully struggle against. Even if you know what you’re doing, it’s easy to screw up. Also, many aspects of modern life are working against you. Your kids may want to move far away for career reasons, and the world is nowadays changing so rapidly that once you retire, you’ll likely be completely out of touch with modern life. Furthermore, even if you manage to stay close to your kids, your position still won’t be anywhere close to the respect and authority enjoyed by old people (both men and women) in traditional patriarchal societies.

    So, in any case, modern life has definitely weakened, if not completely eliminated the once-universal incentive to have a family in order to one day enjoy the position of a honored and respected patriarchal figure. Of course, this is only one factor in the overall decline on the incentive to have kids in modern times, possibly not the most significant one.

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  210. Here’s some advice, ladies. If a guy asks you out and you’re interested, don’t tell him you’re busy. That shit doesn’t work on us like it works on you. As you are women, I understand it’s hard to refrain from projecting your female desires onto men, but step outside of your solipsistic universes for one second and try to see it from a man’s point of view. We do not get aroused by “mystery”, or “playing hard to get”, or “scarcity”.

    Not True. Men value women whom they have “earned”, and enjoy the proverbial hunt. Women are best served to skate the line between “game playing”, and being slightly unavailable. Never ask a man what he prefers.

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  211. Mu’Min — I’ve enjoyed your comments on this thread a lot.

    Regarding “The Do”: I don’t suppose you’ve seen the Bernie Mac show episode titled “Hair Jordan” — his nephew is learning the “barbershop code” but makes the mistake of repeating a joke Bernie made about the oldest barber’s shaky hands. The old codger gets peeved and tries to force Bernie to get a trim from him, and Bernie can’t go through with it — he can’t risk his “do” no matter how bad it hurts his friend’s feelings. As a white guy who grew up getting trimmed at home, I found it amusing AND educational.

    On the “how time passes” comparison between races — I think you’re confusing SWPL and their parents for “white people.” Anglos and those who have picked up white-bread Anglo habits may be sensually inhibited and age poorly, but that’s a fraction of the Caucasians across the globe. Visit the rural areas of the Czech Republic/Provence/Andalusia/Bulgaria and you’ll get a completely different sense of what “white people” are like.

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  212. Hi Mason,
    Very good points about Eastern Europeans and the Med! As you might suspect, I have a special place in my heart for Spain. Islam has a very strong historic connection there. So do Africans.

    And The Bernie Mac Show is. The. Bomb. A laugh a minute because it is da truth about the Black Family. Didn’t see that episode (I’ve been meaning to grab up all of the shows on DVD; now that you mention it, think I’ll treat myself to that soon), but I did see the one where his Urkel-like nephew discovers Bernie’s girly mags and takes them to his Catholic school to show his homies and the Monsignor finds out…and has Bernie and the Missus come in to do some ‘splainin’.

    The Missus says to Bernie “I told you to get rid of those things!” and then they switch scenes to Bernie’s “room” in his house, you know where you speaks into the camera? And he’s talking about how adopting his crack addicted sister’s kids was more than he bargained for-he had to give up his cigars, his this, that, and as he ticks the items off, they disappear one by one in the room-and then he says, “but not my girly mags!” LOL!!! God, I’m gonna miss him. Thanks for bringing back some good memories man. That’s what’s up!

    Salaam
    Mu

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  213. Jam,

    Be happy for him? I feel sorry for his fiance’. He’s a creep.

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  214. sara I

    Be happy for him? I feel sorry for his fiance’. He’s a creep.

    Well then stop worrying about it. Your constantly thinking about it won’t change anything… and that’s assuming you’re thought projecting an accurate assessment of the situation.

    Move on to more important things in your life.

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  215. Once I dated a girl too busy, and we could see each other just a couple of times per week. We didn’t last more than 3 weeks together!

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  216. “‘Unfortunately, I don’t think this is possible because there aren’t any self-aware or truly honest women out there.’

    “The few that may be so honest would consider it ‘mean’ to write such a blog.”

    I’d consider it pointless, since a large cadre of men will merely: a) accuse me of lying; or b) squawk that I’m an outlier and not representative of womankind anyway (which I’m not and would never claim to be.)

    What would be the point?

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  217. JAM

    Move on to more important things in your life.

    As you wish, sire. 😉

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  218. on December 11, 2008 at 2:58 am sartorial eloquence

    “Once I dated a girl too busy, and we could see each other just a couple of times per week.”

    That’s not so bad

    its when you can only see them 0 times per week, thats when it starts gettin hairy

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  219. on December 14, 2008 at 12:59 pm Chill out y'all

    Americans are scared to be alone. By alone, I don’t mean not being in a relationship, but enjoying their own company- this goes for men and women and I find it pathetic. When people obsess about relationships as well as other people’s lives it’s no wonder they end up being miserable, and waaay over-thinking boy/girl crap like they’re in second grade is a complete waste of time. The posts above show a lack of imagination and curiosity, and general openness about life in general.

    I’ve never “dated” per se, but met my boyfriends randomly in the most unexpected places and perhaps that’s why my relationships last for so long. Baggage and bitterness on men is no more becoming than on women. My first major relationship was a spectacular cluster fuck, but now I find it funny.

    Obviously the key is to be with someone with whom you can be a complete dork/have fun with, and have good sexy times with as well:) Those 2 things are the best combo.

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  220. on December 14, 2008 at 1:07 pm Chill out y'all

    Oh yeah, and one more thing for a good relationship- NO DRAMA, please no drama. For the love of God, no drama, haha.

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  221. Ha! Girls think we tick the same way they do. Hard to get just doesn’t work for a guy … utter fail.

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