The Best All-Purpose Chat Reply To Any Girl’s Obnoxious Question

GIRL: “Are you gay?”

MAN:

Perfection is rarely seen so clearly in the wild.

Sending this pic to a frisky filly may not guarantee the bang, but goddamn will it leave a smile on your face. And likely on hers, too.

PS And here’s the worst — and also the funniest — reply to any girl’s obnoxious question:

IF A GIRL EVER SAID THAT TO ME I WOULD END HER LIFE BY PUMMELING HER WITH SOME RIGHTEOUS FISTS OF EXTREMELY MASCULINE FURY THEN WHILE SHE WAS LYING ON THE FLOOR IN A PILE OF HER OWN BLOOD I WOULD PUT A BUN IN HER OVEN. FOR CLARITY, I MEAN THAT I WOULD LITERALLY STUFF A BREAD ROLL UP HER VAGINA. THEN I WOULD WATCH SOME TOM CRUISE MOVIES. BE CAREFUL NOT TO BE CONSUMED BY THE DARKNESS

h/t yeahokcool. This may be the first time ALL CAPS wasn’t overkill.





Comments


  1. “THEN I WOULD WATCH SOME TOM CRUISE MOVIES.”

    Her: So, gay.

    Like


  2. yeah i downloaded that before

    Like


  3. i’m trying to get this 17 year old out with me tonight but she says she is having her guy over tonight…any bombs of pith to drop on this dame…

    Like


    • An easy one! “c u at 10” See how that plays.

      Like


    • on August 20, 2014 at 11:04 am AryanAbduction

      When you come out, leave him at home

      Like


    • Here’s the convo dump so far…It’s newest first..

      all girls like vodka…there’s this place called reds…it’s a pool hall i go with my redneck buddy sometimes…
      Aug. 20 12:51 PM
      greertur..
      read

      redneckg..
      I drink vodka like its water lol an donny made me quit
      Aug. 20 12:49 PM

      ..you can go to church with me lol
      Aug. 20 12:49 PM
      greertur..

      oh yeah and you cant even drink anyway…you smoke?
      Aug. 20 12:46 PM
      greertur..

      redneckg..
      I got school
      Aug. 20 12:45 PM

      i got it up it look dumb because i had to crop it….if you want you can come with me to radio room tonight with me…that one of my main hideouts…it’s open real late
      Aug. 20 12:43 PM
      greertur..

      redneckg..
      Shit ull see my ass at Baileys every tuesday night doing the wet tshirt contest an winnin tht money
      Aug. 20 12:41 PM

      yeah i’m too much of a party guy..it would never work out between us anyway..but i’m still trying to get that pic up…..
      Aug. 20 12:39 PM
      greertur..

      my pics are always too damn big…i’ll have to crop the hell out of this one too
      Aug. 20 12:38 PM
      greertur..

      redneckg..
      Im 17 hes 24
      Aug. 20 12:36 PM

      i ride in jets and boats lol…that reminds me i have a pic of me with an actual axe…i should put that up…oh i wear the expensive shit lol but axe ok if your 17…which he probably is lol
      Aug. 20 12:35 PM
      greertur..

      redneckg..
      He rides bulls and he wears axe an sometimes my personal fav old spice :3
      Aug. 20 12:32 PM

      heh…does he wear a cowboy hat and stetson cologne
      Aug. 20 12:29 PM
      greertur..

      redneckg..
      Thats his name trust me i dont like it either
      aug. 20 12:28 PM

      donny lol whatever
      Aug. 20 12:27 PM
      greertur..

      redneckg..
      I am gonna chill donny is coming after work
      Aug. 20 12:26 PM

      uh just have some fun u need to chill more than me
      Aug. 20 12:20 PM
      greertur..

      redneckg..
      Look both my ex fiance an my on an off boy friend are trying to get me back so chill
      Aug. 20 12:18 PM

      you just dont want to get out of your comfort zone….come have fun with me…

      Like


  4. who’s this sex kitten

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  5. looks like raquel welch

    Like


  6. […] The Best All-Purpose Chat Reply To Any Girl’s Obnoxious Question […]

    Like


  7. on August 20, 2014 at 11:02 am AryanAbduction

    Dude is going to need to find a new stock photo.

    Like


  8. “I MEAN THAT I WOULD LITERALLY STUFF A BREAD ROLL UP HER VAGINA.”

    Sourdough, I presume.

    Like


  9. Tyler Cowen would shove beans up her cooch and then get a strapping young Latino to put a bun in her oven while he spanked off to the vids on 8thStreetLatinas.com

    Like


    • Africans invented franks and beans, ya know?

      Like


      • on August 20, 2014 at 11:40 am AryanAbduction

        They invented errything, and Vikings… They was black

        Like


      • on August 20, 2014 at 12:56 pm Steve Johnson

        Also, let’s not forget – let’s *not* forget, Dude – that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city – that aint legal either.

        Like


      • The funny thing is that Africans are called Africans because Whites decided to call them that. Imagine the effect on their psyche when everything they see around them, and even the name for them, was invented by another race.

        Like


    • Arbiter, they’re only called Africans in English, and only English speaking Africans call themselves “Africans”. It would be equivalent to making fun of a white person who was raised in China and spoke only Chinese for not knowing that he was called “European” in English. The word exists, and is used bu other white people, he just wouldn’t know it. However, it is true that there is not a significant white population that doesn’t speak either a Latin, Germanic, Scandinavian, or Russian language. All of these languages began with white people or were heavily evolved by them. The difference is that African Americans speak only a white language vs a language that has African roots, which is what I believe you meant to imply.

      Like


      • Arbiter, they’re only called Africans in English, and only English speaking Africans call themselves “Africans”.

        What the fudge. Africa is called the same all over the world, with just a difference in spelling, and the people who live there are consequently called Africans. Africains, Afrikaner, etc. The name was spread because of the Roman province with that name.

        If you mean Blacks living in the U.S. are not called Africans – of course they are more often called Blacks or melon eaters, but they also know that they come from Africa and can also be called Africans. Or “African-Americans” and the like. Or African-derived people, whatever. Like Asians in the U.S. know that they are Asians or “Asian-Americans”, and Whites know that they are (not allowed to be called) Europeans or Euro-Americans.

        Like


      • Why are Europeons called Europeons?

        [CH: why are africants called africants?]

        Like


      • Thwack because Europe or U-rope is short for

        ” you get the rope and we will hang this fuck’n n…… from a tree!”

        which then became ” you rope! I’ll hang him!”

        and eventually simply ; “U-rope!”

        We got our name from hanging so many of you since immemorial times.

        As a matter of fact our name was – like everything else – invented by blacks in Africa who were warning others; ” Be careful! those white peopl will rope you! they are U-ropeans!”

        and U-ropean sounds better than Hangingfromtreeans.

        PS: I am not a leftist/liberal history revisionist, but I play one on the internet especially when I am having a slow day and I am bored out of my mind.

        Like


  10. Ok, I been kinda rough on you guys so I’ll share one of my pro tips.

    The cock shot has always been the nuclear option for bitches that get belligerent, obnoxious, smart ass…; they have no effective counter. For the ones that think they do, heres how you back them down:

    Don’t say anything.

    Open a photo of her on your phone and shoot a wad of cum on her picture. Get another camera and take a photo of your phone with the cum shot photo of her on it.

    Text that pic back to her.

    Don’t say anything.

    Like


    • Julian Flamer (Athlone McGinnis), how have you been rough on us? I feel like you’re a minstrel that no one pays attention to primarily because little of what you say makes sense. A perfect example.

      And now this.

      You cum on your phone? Seriously?

      There’s a man’s Jewish prayer that thanks g_d for not being born a slave, woman, or a gentile. If your people represented, at least in part, gentiles then I can see how it could have been repeated with true relief and sincerity. My goodness.

      Like


      • Jon,

        females are fascinated by the male will and ability to be frivolous with our sexuality; I suspect because they sense it is the seat of all fun. It is why we are more interesting and basically BETTER than them.

        Do you wanna be a man? or some kind of cardboard “cut out?”

        Sometimes you gotta be the cat that shits outside the box son; its not like you do this everyday so whats with the butt hurt?

        You think it backfired on me?

        far from it. That hamster went critical and she told at least one other girl because it got back to the one Im fucking now. What did I do?

        I denied it.

        (with a smirk)

        Why?

        Because they are both turned on by it and it will force her to prove she kept the picture.

        I thought you were man enough to handle advanced game. I guess I was wrong. I don’t want you in my crew,

        get the fuck out.

        You punk ass bitch made ni66er.

        Oh and BTW, I aint this “athlon” ni66er you guys are so annoyed with. You know that flag pirates fly with the skull and cross bones?

        Thats me.

        Like


    • Wtf? Text her a pic of cum on some other girls ass or face (real) is more like it.

      Like


    • Richter Scale Epic… fail.

      For a race whose failures are invariably earth-shaking.

      Like


    • Twacky,not only your delusion is of epic proportions
      but in addition you are sick beyond recovery
      Perhaps in your ghetto you are the one eyed king but in the world of civilized
      you are just a caricature of what a human being is supposed to be
      Do come again with your tips, they may be valuable for those who study
      the sickness of your ilk

      “I thank god that I was born Greek & not Barbarian, free man & not slave, man & not woman, but above all, I was born in the age of Socrates”
      Plato

      Like


      • How very interesting; you white guys get up here and suggest beating, burning, shooting, strangling, raping, sodomizing WOMEN…

        But when I suggest dropping a hot load on the photo of a woman who is already interested enough in you to text back n forth, and then send it to her;

        somehow I have delusions of epic proportions?

        You can’t make this shit up.

        Sickness?

        and the white man said:

        “IF A GIRL EVER SAID THAT TO ME I WOULD END HER LIFE BY PUMMELING HER WITH SOME RIGHTEOUS FISTS OF EXTREMELY MASCULINE FURY THEN WHILE SHE WAS LYING ON THE FLOOR IN A PILE OF HER OWN BLOOD I WOULD PUT A BUN IN HER OVEN. FOR CLARITY, I MEAN THAT I WOULD LITERALLY STUFF A BREAD ROLL UP HER VAGINA.”

        That is the very definition of sick beyond recovery.

        Like


      • Whoever wrote that is beyond sick

        Slightly different but tangential
        OW writing the poem about a man who killed
        his cheating wife
        Wooldridge, that was his name, was hanged, at the age of 30
        Poem was written in the prison where Oscar met him
        (Oscar was sentence for sodomy)
        Poetry illuminates everything including murder

        This is a part of the poem
        —————————————————————————————
        “Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
        By each let this be heard,
        Some do it with a bitter look,
        Some with a flattering word,
        The coward does it with a kiss,
        The brave man with a sword!
        Some kill their love when they are young,
        And some when they are old;
        Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
        Some with the hands of Gold:
        The kindest use a knife, because
        The dead so soon grow cold.
        Some love too little, some too long,
        Some sell, and others buy;
        Some do the deed with many tears,
        And some without a sigh:
        For each man kills the thing he loves,
        Yet each man does not die.”

        ― Oscar Wilde

        Like


      • BTW, it takes some skill with photography regarding the pro tip (and your money shot technique); I prefer a low light setting without flash because that makes the spooge somewhat dark against a lit background.

        Her first reply will be “what is that?”

        Then she will zoom in and reply, “how did you do that?”

        By this point, the master/student arrangement has been reestablished and she can act right.

        That is what you want right?

        Like


  11. So I have a girl who likes to stick her tongue out at me. Childish, but she’s 21. *shrugs* So I told her that what she’s really saying to me when she does that is, “I want a spanking!” Denials ensue. So I will say, “Do that again, and you are going over my knee. Fair warning.” If she does it again? Skirt goes up, panties go down and over my knee she goes. I think she was a bit surprised the first time, but this way, she can get what she wants, which is to feel submissive and in the power of a man, while maintaining her charade of resistance. Regardless of what she says, I can advise that the effect on her southerly real estate is dramatic.

    À bientôt,

    Mistral

    Like


    • I dated a girl who liked to be girlish in private, and liked to be mischievous in bed sometimes until I held her wrists. Then we fell asleep like that.

      There was a girl who liked to do mischievous things on our first date, joking and not being serious. She was very attractive, so I imagine guys let her get away with that all the time. While we were walking back home I was explaining something about astronomy that I was very interested in, and she started making jokes again. I told her, “Wait,” gently but firmly, and kept telling the story.
      She told me later, “Do you know why I decided to go out with you again?”
      “Because I climbed a tree to get apples?” I asked.
      “No – that was weird. It was because you told me to wait when you talked about that stuff about planets.”

      Screw her, I liked the apples.

      Like


  12. How do you know each other? buy discount cigars
    Bezos, the CEO of the Seattle-based e-commerce giant, said in an interview broadcast Sunday on CBS’s “60 Minutes” news program that Amazon hopes to use drones to make same-day deliveries within five years of FAA approval. “It will work, and it will happen, and it’s gonna be a lot of fun,” Bezos said.

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  13. I fucking love you and this blog man. You’ve kind of saved my life.

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  14. I sent this exact pic, copied from this blog, to an old fling last night in an effort to get her to drive 2 hours, spend a night or two, and fuck me. She’s been a cold resistant bitch thusfar (short answers, no answers – all via email). A few days ago she declined my offer for a reconciliation fuck. The only captions to the email with the pic were “Think about it” at the top and “xoxo” at the bottom. I sort of cheated on her at a wedding a few years ago, to which she was my date. She may have found out about that :-). She used to rave to me and her friends about how she loved to fuck me, though. So, I know the urge is buried deep down there, somewhere, under a lot of righteous indignation. We’ll see what happens.

    Like


  15. Doesn’t work if you need 12 hours to think of a comeback, Costanza.

    Like


    • My reply to the “are you gay?” question would have been “Keep your knickers on”.

      But that doesn’t even fit, you say. Exactly. It’s flippant but I can’t even be bothered to come up with a snappy comeback that fits the context. If she asks “what?” or points out that it doesn’t fit, I say nothing. Because then we are back to her reacting to me again.

      Like


  16. off topic question

    i think i’ve screwed up with a girl and i’m not sure how to proceed.

    we were seeing each other for a couple months and she started getting clingy and texting too much around the one month mark (we were seeing each other a lot and the sex was great)

    i told her i’m not looking for a serious relationship and made myself scarce for awhile. still staying in contact but a lot less. she started amping up the texting even more so i told her she was getting way too serious and i ghosted her for awhile.

    we’ve reconnected now and she seems mellowed out and really positive when we chat. there is also a lot less texting and neediness.

    my question is. how do i know if she’s backing off to please me or if she’s lost interest and investment? i like this girl and want to keep her around if i can.

    Like


  17. is she still responding to all your texts? sounds like she still likes you so less texting isn’t necessarily a problem but if she’s ignoring you’re texts or taking a long time to respond, that’s a different story.

    Like


  18. Seriously, what is it with that retweet of yours, CH? This Zoe Quinn chick isn’t considered (sorta) big deal because she cheated on her loser boyfriend.

    This is why.

    Like


    • on August 20, 2014 at 7:29 pm Hammer of Love

      Here’s the fat bitch in all her glory. I pity the guys who were desperate enough to fuck this land beast.

      Like


  19. I send back photos as replies to girls. Can be anything from Rocky the Flying Squirrel, to shots like this one. The more ironic the better.

    Like


  20. Canadian femicommies preach in colleges that when a male spanks a woman it’s physical assault. If you Americans want to know what is the feminist utopia, take a visit to Toronto or Van city.

    PM Harper is trying real bad to criminalize the clients of adult prostitution, so these johns better get their spank on before ending up in the slammer for purchasing adult sex.

    Canada gets worse every day for men and easier for sluts and femicommies. Luckily American blogs keep me occupied away from the insanity of feminist utopia.

    RoK and Roosh did some excellent reviews about Canada, the only city with good ratings being Montreal for the time because Quebec is a unique province unlike the rest of anglo saxon conservative gayloving provinces

    Like


    • truth.

      Like


    • Truth. Vanshitty is full of horrendously tatted (albeit only a few real shambling shoggoths) ballbusting cuntbots and “look at this f–kin hipsters”. On the bright side, more and more hidalgo Latinas are moving here.
      Winter’s coming though…. fine ski/boarder babe talent migrates back to Whistler and the kootenays.

      But Less ‘tude in Edmonton, friendlier girls.

      Like


  21. “Are you gay?” Yeah, I am happy all the time.

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  24. My reply would be:i’m a lesbian

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  25. Hmm, another blog post that has brought out the scammers. I wonder what triggered it?

    By the way, I can’t stop looking at this picture. Something viscerally inside me wants to explore every part of that woman’s body.

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  26. Jesus, get the heck out of here!

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  29. on August 22, 2014 at 6:29 am This literally just happened to me

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    I was SMS’ing back and forth with a girl and she said:

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    My answer:

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