Chateau Style Guide: The Ambiguity Principle

This isn’t the first CH style post, but it is the most scientifically validated. The optimal color coordination is only moderately matched.

Fashion is an essential part of human experience and an industry worth over $1.7 trillion. Important choices such as hiring or dating someone are often based on the clothing people wear, and yet we understand almost nothing about the objective features that make an outfit fashionable. In this study, we provide an empirical approach to this key aesthetic domain, examining the link between color coordination and fashionableness. Studies reveal a robust quadratic effect, such that that maximum fashionableness is attained when outfits are neither too coordinated nor too different. In other words, fashionable outfits are those that are moderately matched, not those that are ultra-matched (“matchy-matchy”) or zero-matched (“clashing”). This balance of extremes supports a broader hypothesis regarding aesthetic preferences–the Goldilocks principle–that seeks to balance simplicity and complexity.

Excessively color matched people look try-hard and dorky. Color clashing people look unkempt and imperceptive. The sweet spot is looking like you took some care to put yourself together, but not too much care. You look good in the whole, but glimmers of rebellion and inattentiveness adorn your aura. You might call this fashion rule the sartorial equivalent of the Careless Aloof Asshole attitude.

Interestingly, the color scheme that is most fashionable to the human eye is a metaphor for the social scheme that is most attractive to the female heart. Ambiguity is chicknip. Women neither want socially awkward (socially clashing) men, nor romantically obvious (sexually try-hard) men. Women love most those men who are smooth talkers acting on a boldness leavened with a plausibly deniable doubtfulness of intention.

Push-pull. Hot/cold/hot/cold. Good advice in matters sexual and stylistic.


  1. […] Chateau Style Guide: The Ambiguity Principle […]


    • on August 6, 2014 at 10:46 am Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      da GBFM wearsz
      a white tux
      with tails
      a black cane
      and a lostass giantz big black long dong cockasz!
      for contratstz zlzlolzozozo


      • on August 6, 2014 at 5:33 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)



        SUNSHINE MARY notes that DALORCK DALORCKAS DALROCK is finally stating that which da GBFM has been syaing all along:

        Sunshine says:
        August 5, 2014 at 10:35 am
        DALROKC: “There is a tendency in the sphere to make everything about Game/attraction, as if women can’t be loving unless their genitals are leading them that way. This is the opposite extreme of Dr. Mohler seeing a woman’s clitoris as a divining rod for good men, and equally as foolish. It isn’t that attraction and romantic love don’t matter; they are very important. But they aren’t the only thing. We do miserly women a disservice if we claim the only way they can overcome their ugly attitude is for their husbands to lead them via their genitals. We also do good and loving women a disservice by assuming they are only good and loving because they are following their genitals.”

        Exellent, excellent, excellent observation here.

        And really, isn’t this what GBFM has been trying to say in his own way all along? Although there is nothing sinful about wanting to be attractive and attracted to one’s spouse, tingle-based marriage is not biblical marriage…it’s not even marriage at all. It is right and honorable for a woman to be giving, loving, and generous in all ways with her husband, just as it is right for him to be giving, loving, and generous with her.


        Dalrock writes, “The answer to the question of why Christians need game is because Christians have adopted feminism over the Bible.” This is tantamount to writing, “The answer to the question of why Firefighters need to burn down houses is because Firefighters have adopted kerosene over water.” Some might suggest that “Firefighters” really ought adopt water to live up to their name, but not Dalrockasaz, who prefers game over Christ.



      • on August 6, 2014 at 8:47 pm Zombie Shane

        > “The answer to the question of why Firefighters need to burn down houses is because Firefighters have adopted kerosene over water.”

        Okay, I’m not exactly sure that I understood what I just read, but it’s definitely on the short list for COTY.


  2. on August 6, 2014 at 10:13 am The Spirit Within

    Cosigned. I always thought Mystery’s peacocking, while a good way to help omega chumps attract their very first shit tests in a bar, was a DLV in the long run.


  3. Why do so many white women, especially blondes; drive black cars?

    Is it the frankfort school?


  4. Good to see CH talking about style, which, in my experience, is where most guys (even ones with Game) fail with women.

    The sweet spot is looking like you took some care to put yourself together, but not too much care. You look good in the whole, but glimmers of rebellion and inattentiveness adorn your aura.

    Exactly. The Italians have a word for it: Sprezzatura.


  5. great short, concise post. I’ve often wondered about what style fits best and this describes it pretty well. I like how you relate it to the metaphor of the social scheme. It totally does look bad when you look too sloppy or at the other end of the spectrum of trying too hard. A lot of things in life are like this, especially in western cultures, it seems as if everyone is playing the game of having more or having the best yet you can’t come off as if you’re trying to, almost as if you were born with all that you currently are. That’s why foreigners don’t get it and they think throwing money at expensive brands will get them the social attention they want but it actually produces a negative affect a lot of times. I’m into expensive brands too but for quality and not for showing the illusion that I have money or style. very resonating post.


  6. I really need a picture example of this.


  7. Italian sprezzatura style is a good start. Studied nonchalance.

    Eyetie Italian, not Jersey Shore Dago Chic.


  8. CH: Have you ever thought of assembling a literary/historical catalog of cases where chicks dig jerks?

    Here’s one for the catalog, from Charles Dickens’ early journalism.

    In a police station one day Dickens encounters “a powerful, ill-looking young fellow” who has been arrested for beating up his woman. The beating was so bad, the woman is expected to die. Some doubts having been raised about the perp’s identity, the magistrates decide to take him with them to the hospital for the woman’s deposition. Dickens got permission to accompany them.

    The woman is about to breathe her last in a hospital bed. They show her the prisoner.

    The girl started up, with an energy quite preternatural; the fire gleamed in her heavy eyes, and the blood rushed to her pale and sunken cheeks. It was a convulsive effort. She fell back upon her pillow, and covering her scarred and bruised face with her hands, burst into tears. The man cast an anxious look towards her, but otherwise appeared wholly unmoved. After a brief pause the nature of the errand was explained, and the oath tendered.

    ‘Oh, no, gentlemen,’ said the girl, raising herself once more, and folding her hands together; ‘no, gentlemen, for God’s sake! I did it myself—it was nobody’s fault—it was an accident. He didn’t hurt me; he wouldn’t for all the world. Jack, dear Jack, you know you wouldn’t!’

    Her sight was fast failing her, and her hand groped over the bedclothes in search of his. Brute as the man was, he was not prepared for this. He turned his face from the bed, and sobbed. The girl’s colour changed, and her breathing grew more difficult. She was evidently dying.

    ‘We respect the feelings which prompt you to this,’ said the gentleman who had spoken first, ‘but let me warn you, not to persist in what you know to be untrue, until it is too late. It cannot save him.’

    ‘Jack,’ murmured the girl, laying her hand upon his arm, ‘they shall not persuade me to swear your life away. He didn’t do it, gentlemen. He never hurt me.’ She grasped his arm tightly, and added, in a broken whisper, ‘I hope God Almighty will forgive me all the wrong I have done, and the life I have led. God bless you, Jack. Some kind gentleman take my love to my poor old father. Five years ago, he said he wished I had died a child. Oh, I wish I had! I wish I had!’

    (At about this time a famous English jurist was asked to name the most typically English crime. He replied: “Kicking your wife to death.”)


    • on August 6, 2014 at 12:43 pm oral c ummings

      Nice story!


    • on August 6, 2014 at 1:17 pm Days of Broken Arrows

      Great to see The Derb commenting here. Great story, too.


    • Hah, this is something I have also been thinking about. My example is Thomas Hardy’s Far from the madding crowd which I encountered at university more than 20 years ago. Hardy portrays a wanton female’s self-destructive attraction for a rakish male who is rescued in the end by a selfless beta male who is portrayed as the hero of the story.


    • Here is one from Jonathan Swift in Gulliver’s Travels, Part III, Chapter 2:

      “I was told that a great court lady, who had several children,—is married to the prime minister, the richest subject in the kingdom, a very graceful person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest palace of the island,—went down to Lagado on the pretense of health, there hid herself for several months, till the king sent a warrant to search for her; and she was found in an obscure eating-house all in rags, having pawned her clothes to maintain an old deformed footman, who beat her every day, and in whose company she was taken, much against her will. And although her husband received her with all possible kindness, and without the least reproach, she soon after contrived to steal down again, with all her jewels, to the same gallant, and has not been heard of since.”


    • Sounds like this is where he got the idea for Bill & Nancy Sykes from Oliver Twist.. For those of you who don’t know, Bill is the enforcer/top hand for Fagan, the pickpocket king, while Nancy is also Fagan’s employee, and married to Bill.

      Bill is not a nice guy . He’s sullen, quiet, and beats Nancy, though she professes her infinite love for him. In the end (SPOILER) Bill beats her to death,

      As a side note, back in high school the theater people put on a production of Oliver! (the musical adaptation of Oliver Twist).

      Nancy was played by the queen senior bee of the school.

      The casting of Bill Sykes was interesting. The choice came down to a senior dude who’d put in his dues for four years, was tall & handsome, and had a good voice. But he came off (and was) far too a nice, polite guy; he just had no menace to him; he was a beta.

      The other choice was a transfer junior who was short (shorter than the leading lady) and kinda fat. But he had—how can I put this?—an air of quiet menace about him. Never hostile but he just came off as a dude that if you crossed him, he would flip the fuck out on you. Like a Joe Pesci-type, but quiet. He never really got hazed because of this air, I think.

      Nancy was already chosen, and was doing scenes with each so the directors could choose. Both guys sang the song “My Name” wherein Bill basically talks about that his name is the most feared in London. The senior dude went first and sang it clear well but there was no force behind it. Just a guy repeating the lines.

      Then the junior transfer got up and sang the song very quietly, almost a grumble. He was facing the audience/directors. When the verse ended on the words “Bloke even whisper…My name” he turned only his eyes to the queen bee and stared her down.

      She audibly and involuntarily gasped. On stage. In front of everyone auditioning (30-40 people).

      Alpha menace versus beta talent. Who do you think would have been Bill in real life?

      The directors screwed up, however. Despite junior dude being perfect for the role, they chose senior beta—partially because he paid his dues, and for some b.s. reason that “Bill has to be taller than her.”

      When he didn’t get the part, junior dude refused any other role, because he only wanted Bill, much to disappointment of the directors, who wanted to keep him in the bullpen. But he did appear at the cast party—because queen bee invited him, because they’d been banging every since he’d auditioned.

      After the performance, while everyone praised senior beta, more than a few kids—more girls than guys, if memory serves me—said behind his back that junior transfer would have been so much better.


      [CH: another pro comment. you guys are bringing your T&A game today.]


      • Stage rape!


      • Many thanks, O Dark Lord(s). When the awesome Derbyshire appears, one must step it up a notch.

        The Talk: Non-Black Version rape!


      • on August 7, 2014 at 8:11 am Zombie Shane

        > “The directors screwed up, however. Despite junior dude being perfect for the role, they chose senior beta – partially because he paid his dues, and for some b.s. reason that “Bill has to be taller than her.””

        John Dewey and the Frankfurt School, punishing the masculine Naturals and elevating the effete feminine failures. The nail which stands up must be hammered down. Been There, Done That – spent just about all of my time in The System on the receiving end of that hammer.


    • Shakespeare, Richard III, the title character. Literary and (possibly) historical. Generally, trying to learn about reality by studying fiction is a waste of time.


    • From SparkNotes, but what the hay. The Old English can give people trouble. From the Wife of Bath’s Prologue in the Canterbury Tales by Chaucer.

      “Of her fifth husband, she has much more to say. She loved him, even though he treated her horribly and beat her. He was coy and flattering in bed, and always won her back. Women, the Wife says, always desire what is forbidden them, and run away from whatever pursues or is forced upon them. This husband was also different from the other four because she married him for love, not money. He was a poor ex-student who boarded with the Wife’s friend and confidante.

      When she first met this fifth husband, Jankyn, she was still married to her fourth. While walking with him one day, she told him that she would marry him if she were widowed. She lied to him and told him he had enchanted her, and that she had dreamed that he would kill her as she slept, filling her bed with blood, which signifies gold. But, she confides to her listeners, all of this was false: she never had such a dream. She loses her place in the story momentarily, then resumes with her fourth husband’s funeral. She made a big show of crying, although, she admits, she actually cried very little since she already had a new husband lined up.

      As she watched Jankyn carry her husband’s casket, she fell in love with him. He was only twenty and she forty, but she was always a lusty woman and thought she could handle his youth. But, she says, she came to regret the age difference, because he would not suffer her abuse like her past husbands and gave some of his own abuse in return. He had a “book of wicked wives” she recalls, called Valerie and Theofraste. This book contained the stories of the most deceitful wives in history. It began with Eve, who brought all mankind into sin by first taking the apple in the Garden of Eden; from there, it chronicled Delilah’s betrayal of Samson, Clytemnestra’s murder of Agamemnon, and other famous stories. Jankyn would torment the Wife of Bath (whom we learn in line 804 is named Alisoun) by reading out of this book at night.

      One evening, out of frustration, the Wife tears three pages out of the book and punches Jankyn in the face. Jankyn repays her by striking her on the head, which is the reason, she explains in line 636, that she is now deaf in one ear. She cries out that she wants to kiss him before she dies, but when he comes over, she hits him again. They finally manage a truce, in which he hands over all of his meager estate to her, and she acts kindly and loving.

      Her tale of her marriages finished, the Wife announces that she will tell her story, eliciting laughter from the Friar, who exclaims, “This is a long preamble of a tale!” (831). The Summoner tells him to shut up, and they exchange some angry words. The Host quiets everybody down and allows the Wife of Bath to begin her story.


      In her discussion of her fourth and fifth husbands, the Wife of Bath begins to let her true feelings show through her argumentative rhetoric. Her language becomes even less controlled, and she loses her place several times (at line 585, for instance), as she begins to react to her own story, allowing her words to affect her own train of thought. Her sensitivity about her age begins to show through, and, as she reveals psychological depth, she becomes a more realistic, sympathetic, and compelling character.

      When the Wife of Bath describes how she fell in love with her fifth husband, despite her pragmatism, she reveals her softer side. She recognizes that he used the same tactics against her as she used against other men, but she cannot stop herself from desiring him. Jankyn even uses one of the satires against women to aggravate her, the kind of satire that the Wife mocked earlier in her Prologue. Despite all this, we can see that Jankyn, though the most aggravating of her husbands, is the only one that she admits she truly loved. Even as she brags about her shameless manipulation of her husbands and claims that her sexual powers can conquer anyone, she retains a deep fondness for the one man she could not control.”


    • on August 7, 2014 at 8:20 am Zombie Shane

      Also, on the literary flip side, here is some poor dude in Holland whose mother was a distinguished feminazi: “…As a result of all of these effects of a rabid feminist’s effect on her son, I needed 25 years of therapeutic and spiritual search and deep emotional healing to begin to find my own self-value and to start to experience fulfilling relationships with myself, men and women…”


  9. Casual: Black boots, slightly scuffed. Comfortable pair of faded blue jeans. Form fitting grey or black t-shirt. Survival bracelet. No watch. 4 days growth of beard.

    Business: Black boots, polished. Comfortable pair of dark blue jeans. Button down Italian cut dress shirt starched (purple, white or dark blue). Blazer. No tie… Ever… Regardless of who I’m meeting with. 4 days growth of beard.

    For business attire, this is the key: “looking like you took some care to put yourself together, but not too much care… glimmers of rebellion and inattentiveness adorn your aura.”

    Walking in to a business meeting where everyone is decked out in suit and tie and you’re decidedly more casual takes balls. But it’s also a huge display of confidence if you can pull it off.

    Simple and it’s never failed me.


    • Totally HFG to the max, and totally true. (Made payroll for two decades, same minus the beard.)


    • Suit fashion – seersucker in the summer – particularly in the north; and dark shirts with bright ties in meetings and activities where everybody else is wearing a dark suit but white or blue shirt. Pattern shirts where everybody else wears solid. French cuffs. Dress boots instead of wingtips. Mix black and brown some times. Casual dress – mix tweed or houndstooth with a pattern shirt, school or regimental tie, knit argyle or scottish clan plaid ties usually work. Have a nice cashmere scarf if it’s cool. Brown boots & belt. I don’t bother with a shirt square unless it’s a wedding. Own a couple nice hats and a couple good quality overcoats – tan is always a little more upscale, a long dark wool loden always looks very classy. For jeans day wear a nice pattern dress shirt and don’t be afraid to throw a suit jacket on instead of a blue blazer – bb’s are boring. You can also rock good quality cargo pants with a pattern dress shirt and casual jacket, just make sure you’re wearing good dress shoes or dress boots. Get to know the Johnston & Murphy catalog…

      You can’t totally ignore social convention if you work in a suit and tie job but if you go just a bit off-kilter at all times it works really well and draws a lot of female attention and compliments. Don’t do whack-job ties; everybody can do them. Mix shirts and patterns instead.


  10. The hot/cold comment reminds me of that katy perry song. Note, she doesn’t sing about Herb from Accounting.


    • Reminds me of the song Want U Back by Cher LLoyd which actually uses the term “game.” Here’s a comment that says it all from the youtube video:

      I have a serious issue with this song…
      Sure the beat is okay and the tune rememberable, but the portrayal of songs story is horrible.
      Basically it says: Girl treats boy like crap and breaks-up with him just so he can run back and she can feel in power. However when the boy does better than her and finds a new girl she gets jealous and does everything she can to win him back.
      This shows an immature and selfish portrayal of women in relationships, bad move Cher…


  11. paste “sprezzatura” into pinterest search and you’ll get lots of pictures. owning your style, as owning all your possessions, communicates a lot about your values.


  12. on August 6, 2014 at 11:16 am Henry Blanchard

    Women and men match differently. Straight men should choose colors that complement each other, unless you’re such a fashion expert that you’re very far past looking to this blog for advice. Matching the same or very similar colors looks like your mother or your girlfriend dressed you. Don’t do that.


    • I like neutral colors a lot. Dark grey is my favorite, then earthy colors, then dark blue. Not actually sure if neutral top + neutral bottom works but I try to act like it does


    • Straight men have no fucking idea what “colors that compliment each other” means.

      [CH: straight men who are players do. it’s what happens after spending lots of time in the company of women.]


      • When I think of complimentary colors, I remember shit from art class in elementary school
        Red-Green (usually looks horrible)
        Blue-Orange (looks less horrible)
        Purple-Yellow (usually looks horrible)
        Black-White (not sure if this is complementary but I like the two together)


      • My women have always dressed me to be less attractive to the other females.

        [CH: LTRs and wives, i assume? that urge doesn’t express itself until the girl has completely invested in you and wants to keep other women away. but women in general and women one is dating casually tend to be pretty honest about what styles they think look good on men.

        “being in the company of women” means, literally, having a lot of women in your life, whether you’re fucking them or not. a man will inevitably get feedback from these women and learn what it is that makes them tick.]


      • The word is complement, you pikers.


      • It is an unfortunate fact that a significant number of American males buy their clothes in Wallmarts of this world
        These are the precisely the ones who assume that any well dressed man
        is a gay or at least latent one
        America in that respect is 50 years behind Europe and 100 years behind Italy
        Much more to do with the culture and surroundings than women
        After all it would be grotesque to see sharply dressed man in ugly surroundings of a typical American middle of nowhere matching the colors that complement each other
        Sense for colors is aesthetic in its nature, not necessarily given to everybody
        and does not flourish when external ugliness compliments the internal one


      • on August 7, 2014 at 7:47 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

        What the heck do you study in school in America? Since your mathematics and science classes are weak in comparison to what I studied, I assumed that people simply choose easy subjects. Arts is one such subject. I learned about colours in middle school. I did find it preposterous that we had a 100 page textbook for an irrelevant class, but the basics were something that were super easy to learn and mildly interesting.

        This ineptitude at color matching makes lots of American men look horrible when they suit up.


      • on August 7, 2014 at 9:47 am Zombie Shane

        > “CH: straight men who are players do. it’s what happens after spending lots of time in the company of women.”

        Heartiste, this is what I keep trying to warn YaReally about – these Uber-Alphas eventually get bored with pussy and want nothing more than to stick it in their wingman’s backside. All this “sprezzatura hedge fund gigolo” talk is crossing the line and heading deep into ghey territory. SRSLY.


  13. Another great post, thanks.


  14. I usually dress in simple, solid colors that may or may not match.

    Then I accessorize with watches, thumb rings and dark bracelets to add a little bit of twist.

    Shoe game is weak – I usually head out in flip flops or sneakers depending on if it’s raining. I also have 2 pairs of dress-shoes which I wear only to work.

    Suggestions? I hear boat-shoes are in

    [CH: boat shoes and brogues are in right now, but do you really want to jump into the middle of the herd while it’s stampeding? better to identify an up-and-coming trend and catch it on the rise.]


  15. “The sweet spot is looking like you took some care to put yourself together, but not too much care. ”

    Example pls? Like if you have to name a character in a movie. So something unlike Zoolander but like who?

    It’s only recent that I am trying to dress better/getting into this fashion thing.

    Burgundy/wine pants, white oxford shirt, cognac brogue, matching belt and brown watch.


    • Unless it’s date/hunting night then it’s time to bring out the perfectly tailored/custom colored/shaded red shirt. Get lotsa compliments from it, males or females, straight or gay alike


  16. on August 6, 2014 at 11:38 am Emahray Trolle

    A great way to determine your optimal color palette is through the free web app Adobe Kuler. You can upload a photo of yourself and it will give you the corresponding palette and complimentary colors. There was a book years ago titled “Color for Men” which presented men’s palette’s based on seasonal analogies, and that is the way clothes are sold in finer men’s boutiques.

    One can go overboard though. When I first tried it I bought a red-toned shirt in my palette. My son saw me and started laughing. I asked “what’s so damn funny?”. He said “That shirt, it’s the same color as your skin.”


    • on August 6, 2014 at 11:44 am Emahray Trolle

      Also recommended is the timeless classic “Dress for Success” by John Malloy and of course R.Don Steele’s “How to Date Young Women for Men Over 35” which rudely demolishes denim attire and other beta accoutrements.


      • on August 6, 2014 at 11:46 am Emahray Trolle

        Go ahead, look it up :

        plural noun: accoutrements

        additional items of dress or equipment, or other items carried or worn by a person or used for a particular activity.
        “the accoutrements of religious ritual”
        synonyms: equipment, paraphernalia, stuff, things, apparatus, tackle, implements, material(s), rig, outfit, regalia, appurtenances, impedimenta, odds and ends, bits and pieces, trappings, accessories


      • I would recommend that guys wear jeans [e.g., True Religion, G-Star RAW] over Dockers any time. Older men can definitely pull it off, but as always fit is key.

        [CH: squats will fill out the rump and help men (and women) avoid that dreaded “mom jeans” look.]


  17. Can I say what fashion I like for a man? Take it with a little salt because this might be not fashionable in your country. 🙂 .

    Casual. I like on a man, jeans (no thin/slim fit jeans, wranglers or a nice pair of harley davidsons but they are expensive.) and denim shirts/casual shirts/ and boots for casual. Top button un done. I like a leather or suede jacket like this one.

    I prefer boots and shoes than athlete shoes. Good boots can last a long time and look more manly.

    For evening, a nice smart shirt button down (no feminine colors), and dark jeans, and shoes/boots.

    For summer, probably just jeans or shorts and t shirts and sandals. (Sandals are better than flipflop.) and more hardy.
    For summer evenings jeans and button down shirts with rolled up sleeves, or short sleeve shirt.

    What style I do not like on a man.

    -Metrosexual style. – Pink shirts.- Skinny/thin jeans.- Buttons done up to the top.- Short shorts.- Scarves.- Biker jackets.- Floral patterns.- Pointed shoes. But pointed boots can be good.- Hooded sweater.- Athlete shoes so big that they look like astronaut shoes.- Too loose jeans that half way down behind. 🙂 .

    But the important thing is the man feel comfortable in his style also. If a man is confident in himself it is better.

    [CH: would you call yourself a girly-girl?]


    • [CH: would you call yourself a girly-girl?]

      Yes, I suppose. I always wear dresses, but in some way I am not so girly because I will never ever ever spend more than 50 euro on a dress, and no more than 20 on a hand bag. I think it insane.
      I also probably have more men’s taste in music. But I was raised by my father not my mother, so maybe I am more “functional feminine” than typical i love shopping girly girl.

      [CH: girly-girls are extremely feminine, but not necessarily shopping whores. the reason i ask is b/c what you described as your favored male fashion sense — masculine denims and suedes — is what i’ve noticed very feminine women are predisposed to find attractive.]


      • Okay, so maybe that is why I love that style on men. 🙂 .


      • Thank you CH. I am not sure what “chubbed” means, but I very much appreciate your reply.

        Anon2, I am not a greek mainlander. I am an islander with a greek desecent father and northern european mother, but I am raised on the island and my native language is dialect of greek.

        How did you know? Did you understand because I said “pushti”? LOL.

        I do not think Greek culture is so different, mainland Greece and even island cities are now very westernized. The divide in culture is between villages/country side and city people, I think. Athens is VERY westernized, you can hope for better mcdonalds than souvlaki there. 😉 .

        In fashion terms, the village men dress like real men and drive trucks, and in the cities the men are driving their mercedes and wearing tight jean and tight shirts. I think it is like that in most countries, yes? The divide between the villagers and educated big city people.


    • on August 6, 2014 at 12:10 pm Reservoir Tip

      Short shorts aren’t metro-sexual.

      That being said, it also depends on the shorts. Jorts would be incredibly gay. But a short pair of bermudas showing of a pair of squat-toned, manly legs is masculine as hell, and if you pull them off confidently, will blow other guys out of the water.

      Girls stop and stare at my short all the time, compliment me on my legs, sneak pictures. When I know they’re sneaking pics, it’s an easy invitation to tease them, too.


    • Rule #1: Never take style/fashion advice from a woman.

      [CH: moms rarely give their sons good dating advice. if a young man’s OWN MOTHER can’t talk to him straight about the ugly truths of female sexual nature, there’s no chance in hell some rando broad will give a guy good personal advice.]


      • I did say to take it with little salt. But really denim shirts are very handsome on men. Maybe you could try, and see if it works? It would be good experiment, approach a woman with a pink slim fit shirt, then with a denim shirt. 🙂 .


      • Funny you mention that. My current gf keeps pestering me to get a denim shirt, which I’ve resisted. I draw the line at chambray.

        OTOH, I get compliments from females when I wear a pink slim-fit Brooks Brothers OCBD, while I get weird looks from the guys (must be a West Coast thing; pink dress shirts are common in London, NYC).

        And then there are the older chaps who look as if they bought the first thing the shop assistant (most likely female) recommended to them. These older men typically wear frilly cocktail shirts (untucked of course), baggy bell-bottomed jeans, and square-toed Kenneth Cole shoes, or flip-flops. Hideous.

        I see way too many guys who obviously look as if their wife/gf dressed them.


      • Well, if you are not comfortable wearing one, then it better not, yes?
        My fiance has 8 different denim shirts, so I am happy. He wears it tucked in, but top 2 buttons not closed. I tell him I like it, but he says he really does not care what clothes he has.

        Pink shirts are not common here, some younger men wear them and the older guys say they look like pushti. (gays.) But depending on your country, if pink shirts are fashion there, then I guess it is normal to wear.

        I get my father’s clothes ready every morning, and he always looks handsome, bless him. In summer normally jeans and a white short sleeve shirt, or cargo shorts. I just got him some boat style shoes with no laces, which he loves because they are comfortable. I would never ask my father to wear a frilly shirt, Lord have mercy!

        If you “own” the style you are wearing, one could probably even wear tights if that was their thing. :). LOL .

        [CH: it’s touching the way you tend to your father. no joke. you’re not american, are you?]


      • Thank you. No, I am not American.

        My father has dementia and has had many strokes. He can not do those things for him self. He took care of me, so now it is a daughters duty to take care of her father. He and my fiance, they my world. And it is not even a burden, believe me, it is a blessing.

        [CH: a million neoreactionary men just chubbed. :)]


      • this chick is greek. greek men and greece as a whole is a pretty unique version of europe, and not one easily transferable, in a fashion sense, to the west.


      • “These older men typically wear frilly cocktail shirts (untucked of course), baggy bell-bottomed jeans, and square-toed Kenneth Cole shoes, or flip-flops. Hideous.”

        LOL I know just the guy. Or worse, crocs.

        I’m not into hipster style on guys but of course there are exceptions here and there. My general rule of thumb is to avoid men who look like they spent more time on their outfit and appearance than I did. A man who dresses how he wants and really doesn’t give a damn about fashion is masculine.


    • on August 6, 2014 at 6:47 pm Champagne and Cocaine

      Pink shirts can work if you wear em right. At least in my locale (large midwestern city). The key is to balance it out with other overtly masculine clothing and features. I’ve found it works best when the shirt is more on the casual and the pink is lighter. A high end, well pressed, bright pink business shirt is kinda queerish. A lowkey faded pink cotton button down, coupled with some longer (not long) hair, quality scruff, rugged but well fitting jeans, and boots or boat shoes has worked well for me. Of course I’m 22 so I can pull off certain styles more established men would look silly in.


      • Agree. I actually like pink and coral / salmon shirts on men. Looks good on most skin shades.

        Also like you said if it’s balanced out with a nice pair of slacks and/or loose fitted (not sagging) stylish jeans.


  18. living in AZ, you gotta learn to be stylish while its summer casual 7-8 months a year.

    harder than you would think.

    but when you got it…….mmmmmmm baaby


  19. But what about Michael Kors said along some lines of, “to look like you never try, you have to always try”
    This is more true because hipsters have ruined the “slightly unkempt” ideal


  20. Hank Moody FTW


  21. OT:

    The Host of “West Michigan’s Biggest Rave” Has No Regrets

    Shades of Corey Worthington?


  22. What I’ve learned about style, from trying to improve my own, is that it’s contextual and subjective. There are no hard rules which makes it difficult for spergs to master. You basically have to perceive what people in your every day environment are wearing, then wear:

    1. something that is slightly different and will make you stand out in an interesting way
    2. something that looks effortless (at least not contrived)
    3. something that fits your personality and you are comfortable wearing
    4. something that flatters your body type

    People commenting and asking for concrete examples are missing the point.

    [CH: pro comment. it’s probably easier to tell people which fashion faux pas to avoid rather than which fashion tips to acquire.]


    • Good stuff.

      Look at Tony Stark in the Iron Man movies. His casual attire is jeans, a well-fitting t-shirt or long-sleeve tee, and dark sneakers or boots. His business/professional attire is a spiffy suit, usually completed with a pair of sunglasses. His hair is always sort of messy, but still sleek, and facial hair just irregular enough to not be a full chinstrap, goatee, mustache or beard. Both styles match his alpha playboy attitude.


    • on August 6, 2014 at 8:03 pm xandorxander

      One problem is that too many men are trying to copy the Hollywood/model level fashion international playboy look but have neither the figure nor the personality to carry it off. Consider Daniel Craig in the movie Skyfall. His suits are too tight for most men and if most men on this blog tried that they would look like a doofus. Or even worse, try-hard spergs. In fact, the movie even had two levels of suits — those that would be worn when Craig was standing perfectly still and slightly looser ones to be worn for action scenes where the slimmer suits would be ripped to shreds with just one movement. Real men need stuff that can be worn throughout the day or evening. Serious, older men who are in jobs that don’t fit well with either the rocker or metrosexual image should probably use Ralph Fiennes’ (new M) classic English tailored look as a baseline guide to business and semi-formal wear.


  23. chicknip!! that made me laugh.

    this post was right up my alley – i’m a menswear designer for a medium-level luxury brand (pieces start at $300, fabrics that can go over $100 per meter from europe, japan). the heterosexual mens market is one of the most difficult to design for exactly this reason: someone mentioned sprezzatura, insouciance, effortless chic, etc.

    for gay men and the womens market there is a certain level of costuming and flashiness that vary with trends (don’t buy those boat shoes, trust me), so working those trends into pieces and keeping slightly ahead is not as difficult as designing something that looks modern/subtle/quality/classic/simple all at once, that will appeal to the average man who shops rarely.

    straight men usually look best with clothing that serves as a backdrop to their personality, an afterthought pulled from the best closet, if that makes sense. the best advice i can give is that it is pretty much all about fit: how that blazer hits you on the shoulders (remember in casino royale, when bond puts on that tux that vesper got tailored for him? the fit is insane), where the sleeve of that simple white tshirt falls on your arm, your pant length hits just slightly below the edge of your shoe and therefore folds a certain way, and also rises a certain length when your sitting.

    an example would be american apparel, they grew to be a huge success based on pretty much one tshirt, just because it fit so perfectly on so many different men: it wasn’t too baggy, the sleeves weren’t huge, the seam where the arm meets the shoulder didn’t sit halfway down the arm, etc. when they first launched, no one else offered a tshirt like that (at least at that price).

    so invest in quality clothes that fit you like a glove and you’ll be good. less clothing, better quality.


    • Great advice.

      Fewer clothes, better fit— that’s good advice for women, too. Men don’t care that you have 300 pairs of shoes and they don’t care if something’s in style if it defeminizes the woman or hides her body (i.e. maxi dress).


      • Amy, are maxi dress fashion faux-pas?

        What do you think of this dress? It is so pretty, I have it in white. They dis continue it in white last month. But is so pretty and comfortable.

        I wore it to a birthday party last week with my future sister-in-laws. And I got compliments. 4 different men approached to say they like the dress.
        Not because I am pretty or something, I am not so pretty there were many pretty women there, but they like the dress.
        Also I wear long skirts or dresses to market(casual) and men always ask if you want help if you are walking with shopping.
        Probably because I think long dresses and skirts are feminine, and even they hide the body, men still seem to like them, my fiance prefers it.

        And it does not have to be boring dress, you can dress up a floor length dress with shoes like this.

        They would look great with the black dress above. There are also more casual floor length dress on that site for as low as 15euro. 🙂 .

        You know why else floor length dress is the best? I have a habit of cleaning my drains with bleach, wearing my good dresses. I have got bleach stain on 4 dresses. 😦 . But you can then turn the dress in to a skirt with scissors, needle and cotton. And voila, a new outfit for no cost. 😀 . You can do the same with other things, you can turn bed sheets in to pretty table clothes if you cut and sew hems, or even pillow cases.

        If men’s clothes are old and they do not want them anymore, you can even turn a men’s shirt in to a cute casual dress like this.
        (Or a duster, or window cleaning cloth.)

        Or if your man ever needs a new heel on his boots and does not have time, so it make the “click click” sound, take some fibreglass strips, put it on the heel at the bottom where it has worn and activate it with nail resin. If it is smooth, sand it with sand paper. The fibre glass will be invisible to the eye because it is on the heel, and they will last until he can get them re-heeled.

        (Sorry this is about women’s dresses, but I mean what men like women to wear.)


      • That maxi dress is cute, at least it’s fitted on the top. I was thinking more of this ultra baggy style:

        It’s not a fashion faux pas, but I think it’s generally an attraction faux pas… it hides so much of the girl’s body. Long skirts look best on tallish women (I’m on the short side) if they’re straight, moderate A line or cut on the bias. But of course you wear what your fiance prefers!

        The peplum dress is adorable, what a cute idea. I like to wear my boyfriend’s button down shirts, snap a belt around it and wear it as a casual sundress…. there is enough of a size difference between us so this works… I love wearing things that smell like him.


      • I do like that loose fit dress Amy. It is not “sexy” but it is great for casual, doing chores, out for walk. etc.
        Especially if you live in hot climate, you really do not want very tight clothes, it is not comfortable.
        It also serves as protection against sun in day time, so you will not burn your legs. 😉 .

        My fiance has similar preference to what my father prefer me to wear. I wear what I want at home, but if I am out what I wear also reflects on the men in my life. For example, if wear a short dress men are going to comment on legs, and how we can blame them? Then our men are going to get angry and it is just causes trouble.
        I have many short dresses, that I wear in the house because they are comfortable. But before I step out the door believe me, I hear many times “Do not even THINK to wear that.” LOL.

        According to men, (what they say) is that men will look at women with short skirt and low cut tops, but they look at them and think “sex”. And long dresses and skirts make men think “marriage.”

        That is very sweet that you love to wear things with your boyfriend’s scent. Bless you. I am nostalgic in the sense that when my papa goes away for medical treatment.(2 weeks now.), I do not change his bed sheets until the day he comes back. Because I like to smell his pillow. I clean my fiance’s home every day and I inhale his pillow in the morning. Hahahaha.
        LOL. Us women are so weird. Is that normal?


  24. girls care about your shoes because they like shoes. wear nice shoes. do not match your tie to your shirt. that is stupid. If you wear a pocket square in your jacket it better match your tie or be white. ignore dork shark.

    [CH: shoes are a major tell for women because it’s typically the one accoutrement of fashion that men ignore or fail to optimize.]


  25. I’m all for more blacks “acting white.”

    Top comment and a few others are spot on.


  26. Dear god just don’t wear saggy baggy jeans and white tennis or running shoes (the uninform of every single middle American schlub ever born


    • I don’t know why it raised my blood pressure, but I saw a nog in his 20s the other day walking out of Kroger ahead of me with his pants past his ass and his tall tee pulled up high to the point I could see his underwear and the line of his ass crack through it. I’m plenty accustomed to this, but a majority have a pair of some sort of shorts or a tall tee to cover the actual underwear, and will sometimes even halfway pull them up in public places such as a grocery store. But this nog had no respect for anything, including himself. It was disgraceful.


  27. Make that uniform


  28. on August 6, 2014 at 1:24 pm Emahray Trolle

    Nothing says “amateur” like a pair of jeans. They are not very durable and fall apart at the slightest abrasion.

    A fine pair of gabardines cost about the same as jeans and will last for years. Perfect for jungle trekking or the dance floor. Clean, matching shoes and belt, a color-coordinated man’s shirt and an executive-style hairdo is about all you need to get female heads swiveling in your direction like you are an iridescent fishing lure. Dress like this when abroad and you stand apart from the hordes of cargo-panted tourists sweating under their gigantic backpacks and belly-bags. One would think they are outfitted for a lunar expedition with all that gear.


  29. Well-fitting white dress shirt with almost anything is can’t miss

    [CH: some quickie fashion tips for men:

    – don’t wear billowy shirts. unless you’re fat, make sure the back of your shirt is darted (custom fitted shirts will be tailored that way from scratch).
    – leave second shirt button from top undone unless you’re wearing a tie (or going full hipster).
    – socks color should never match pants color (unless you’re at a black tie affair). complement sock color instead (i.e., red under beige pants).
    – long legs, wear low rise jeans. short legs, wear higher rise jeans.
    – a fitted blazer will tuck in at the middle. 1/2″ sleeve and 1/4″ shirt collar should protrude from jacket boundary.
    – jacket and shirt shoulder seam should be EXACTLY at the edge where your shoulder starts to turn downward. not higher nor lower than that.
    – NEVER allow your white undershirt to poke through at the neck. either wear a v-neck or no undershirt at all.
    – go commando once in a while. it’ll help remind you that you have balls in your pants.]


    • ill add

      “don’t wear branded tees unless they fit your personal style. If you aren’t hearing “i like your tshirt” at least once a day because it’s funny/interesting and fits you, stick to basic muted colors.”


    • go commando once in a while.

      If you’re well-endowed, this goes especially well with jeans, though beware the chafing.


      • I hear this advice a lot from supposedly “well endowed” men. As a hung guy I don’t see how any man with decent length or girth goes commando. Sure I’ll wear loose boxers, or go commando in some low waist sweat pants around the house and in front of my lady, but in public; I need the support… er actually the restraint that underoos provide when my “Johnson” becomes anything other than completely flaccid.

        Unfortunately for men, obvious displays of sexual arousal – no matter how impressive – is a definite no no in public.


    • Custom made shirts are generally made of longer-lasting and textually more interesting cotton. They don’t cost that much more than shirts from off the shelf at a good store. Plus, retailers in the US seem to assume that no adult male has a waist that’s smaller than his chest; spend any time in the gym and you’ve got room to hide a Koala in the billows of a Brooks Brothers shelf-shirt.


      • And when it comes to pants, they think all men are chicken-legged… whatever fits my waist is invariably to narrow in the thigh… and true be told, I like my pants like I like my hotels… with ample ballroom.


      • on August 6, 2014 at 10:08 pm gunslingergregi

        hide a koala lolzzzzz


    • on August 7, 2014 at 7:36 am Pijama Wearing Ninja

      “- go commando once in a while. it’ll help remind you that you have balls in your pants”
      ROFL. Also, wear good cologne. I can’t emphasize this enough. I started doing so in high-school and ever since girls complimented me on how good I smell. It’s far easier to close the physical gap between you and a girl when she feels drawn by your scent also. Knowing some basic things about fragrance will also help you paint more vivid pictures in the minds of women because you will get good at describing how things smell.

      OT: I got Krauser’s book and almost finished reading it. Really good material. I laughed out loud at times because I found some of the things I did in the past that worked in it and Nick did a brilliant job at writing about day game in a systematic fashion. I’d say this book is ideal for guys that are unsure about some aspects of their game, while they already know the basics(qualification, negs, push-pull etc). The book is rather entertaining to read and it’s well written insofar as you can ignore the few spelling mistakes. The only thing that irked me was that it’s not printed in color. I thought saving money on color cartridges is something university students do and it’s not the case for $100 books.

      CH, have you considered making a reading list for people interested in game? For example, Krauser’s book is excellent if you either want to transition to day game or want to improve your day game, but there are a lot of aspects to game. I think it would help a lot if there was a list of books for different aspects of game(e.g. onlinenight/day game, inner game/style/lifestyle, bodylanguage).


  30. fashion has to make you feel good…I love high-top boots….I like to wear both lose and tight shirts even though I am fat….


  31. a long time ago in a galaxy not so far away
    lived mr pink.
    mr pink was a hard working man.
    one day two new guys moved in. mr black and mr brown.
    mr pink didnt get on with them at first.
    but they later grew some respect for each other.

    then moved in a new guy. his name was mr sheckles.
    mr pink was a good guy, so he let mr sheckles stay at his place.
    mr sheckles started his own company, but never left mr pinks house.
    mr pink noticed that since mr sheckles moved in, he had problems.
    he had a fight with mr black, and mr brown no longer talked to him.
    they didnt even talk to each other any more.

    mr pink overheard that mr sheckles had said something to mr black.
    mr pink decided to confront mr sheckles.

    mr sheckles said “please dont hit me”
    it reminds me of when some men came and killed my family and friends.
    mr pink said “i wasn’t going to hit you. i just wanted to ask…”
    but mr sheckles cut him off.

    some months went by and mr pink started to get trouble at work.
    they had a new department called HR
    mr pink had no idea what HR was and it caused problems
    he had heard mr sheckles had started to run HR
    mr sheckles had since become rich
    but still lived with mr pink

    mr sheckles said “please don’t hit me”
    it reminds me of when some men came to kill my friends and neighbours.
    mr pink said “what about your family?”
    mr sheckles said “what family?”
    mr pink was about to speak. but mr sheckles cut him off.

    time passed. mr pink had to deal with more bad news.
    less work. less pay.
    he had heard mr sheckles had started to change the laws.
    the new laws were based on a book mr sheckles carried.

    mr pink had enough.

    he came home to confront mr sheckles.

    he found a “for sale” sign in front of his house.
    his wife was gone and nowhere to be found.
    she had taken the kids, and left a note saying she needed some time.
    she wanted cash and to keep the house and kids.
    mr pink had always been a good husband and father,

    when mr sheckles came home, mr pink said “what have you done?”
    mr sheckles said “please dont hit me.”
    it reminds me of when some men came to…
    then the police arrived.
    mr pink said “guys, this man is trying to pull a fast one… Hey!”
    they slapped cuffs on him.
    turned out mr sheckles had bought the police force too.

    as mr pink was carted off to jail and to face a jury (owned by sheckles)
    he plotted as to how he would lose his shackles.


  32. Snow White 2014


  33. I have made a living as a software ceo and a writer. I’ve married a vogue model and should’ve married a Hollywood woman, whom you guys know. I dress hedge-fund-gigolo (fitted jacket, fitted shirt, jeans, high end shoes or boots), and do so whether at a lounge or at a conference room of a bank. This has all been covered by many, above.

    If I can add anything to this discussion, it’s to keep the colors simple and the fabrics pure. I took my color advice from the most elegant woman in American history, Jackie O. So I wear only three colors: black (gray), white, or blue (french blue).

    This makes dressing easier, one’s closet more efficient, and one’s presence notable.

    Cotton and linen in summer, cotton and wool in winter. Know a tailor, if Paul Stuart is making your stuff to pattern. Spend the money for English shoes and boots (or high end Italian), unless you are going rogue (Red Wing, Alden). $1000 jodphurs from England are cheaper than $300 version from the States, because cost-per-use is lower (i.e., they last forever). I’m wearing boots and shoes now that are 20 years old, and women still ask me where I purchased them.

    The whole peacocking thing is a horror to me, as I’ve no interest in any woman attracted by a stupid hat or red socks.


    • the rules to abide by right here


    • “I wear only three colors: black (gray), white, or blue (french blue). This makes dressing easier, one’s closet more efficient, and one’s presence notable.”

      9 1/2 Weeks when Bassinger is snooping around in Rourke’s closet. Racks of suits and shirts… All similar. She can’t suppress the tingles.


    • I hope that humanity will eventually recover from the enormous loss that is your failed marriage to that Hollywood actress we all know
      But there is still Spoon,she likes assholes of your kind “hedge-fund-gigolo”


  34. I, like others before me, buy multiples of any garment that captures my interest… in order to cut down on decisions to be made over so trivial a pursuit as “what to wear” in re one’s entire person.

    Most of the time the only thing that changes from day to day in my appearance is the color and design of the tie I opt for that morning…

    … a not insignificant decision, let me tell you… given the number of ladies who invariably and simply must tell me each day how they like it.

    But I’m old school… you younger rakes follow your own hearts.


  35. OT: This just in: Michelle Obama says women are smarter than men, and CNN gloats, even though men invented: spears, fire, shelter, farming, cloth, cotton and wool clothing, the wheel, the car, the airplane, electricity, running water, plumbing, farming, the television, VCR, DVD player, the technology for streaming movies over internet, the computer, the telephone, the telegraph, cell phones, digital mobile phones, the internet, math, the U.S. Constitution, streaming internet, and, since 1999 when women were *at least* as favored as men in college: napster (and all its clones), Netflix, facebook, twitter, myspace, Friendster, google, iTunes, spotify, Pandora, youtube, etc.

    Just think about something like Napster or facebook. As of 1999, women were more than half of university students and supposedly do better in school (grade inflated and geared towards women, of course). It could easily have been a group of women in their dorm inventing napster, right? But of course not. Not once. Napster, facebook, myspace, and I could name 50 more examples–things made on a computer, not needing physical strength. Nope, not once was it a group of women in their dorms. Every time it was a nerdy beta (sex deprived, with no feminine support even) group of dorky men who invented it.

    It’s just plain rude. Then YKW Time runs cover story ‘Are Men Even Necessary?’. It’s just plain disrespectful. We have to know REALITY yet be subjected to this garbage daily.

    And our society of MEN are uber beta to have allowed the current status of things to exist.


  36. Chicks dig jerks ad infinitum. A woman needs a thug like a fish needs water?

    “Patricia Irene (Irina) Dunn (born 1948[1]) is an Australian writer, social activist…In the early 1980s she married Brett Collins, a convicted bank robber turned prison activist, whom she met through her work editing a prison magazine. They separated within a few years and subsequently divorced.[5]…Dunn coined the famous catch phrase: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle,” which was subsequently popularized by Gloria Steinem and became a popular slogan among feminists”

    Another example that was recently in the news down here haha.


    • She ‘coined the phrase’ before she met thug. It was not something butthurt said after divorcing said thug.


  37. Polo shirts, nice loose fitted slacks or jeans, leather shoes/boots with rubber soles, OR

    LONG SLEEVE shirt underneath a short sleeve tee with a little bad boy arm tattoo showing but with a dash of clean cut and perfectly loose fitted jeans or slacks and smells good?

    If you are of non black variety hair short slicked back and a little shine, or a small mohaek, or (blondes only) medium messy wavy surfer boy hair underneath a baseball cap

    If you are of ethnic variety – short close cut hair or a tamed short Mohawk



  38. Weekend FR (NYC)

    Okay, a little late on this. But better late than never.

    I arrive in NYC alone and instantly get AA. Takes me from the time I arrive until like 12 in the afternoon (3 hours) to approach five chicks. Sigh. Had the epiphany that everyone isn’t paying attention to me and knocked the last two out (but that was short-lived as I sorta tried to approach today but didn’t because I didn’t shower or the rejection would make things awkward…).

    Met up with WhiteWing and ApproachMachine. Ended up approaching two Danish girls and had lunch with them. AM blows himself out by being too physical with the hotter Danish girl (she’s like 18) and me and WhiteWing (with the help of AM) end up pulling them to a bar. The convo was basically friendly small talk with a bit of teasing in there. We don’t back to their place because… no reason really, it was a one-room hotel they were staying in and I guess AM was with us, not sure it would’ve been weird leaving him out (but I assume he would’ve been fine, even tho he got a bit moody after the rejection).

    After that we head to this rooftop club. AM approaches some two-set. WhiteWing gets thinner chick (chubby), I get fatter one. Fatter one likes me, whoopee. I don’t usually get that far with girls so I just stay with this one. She buys me a drink, yay. She’s like a 4 or 3. Meh. I try to pull her in closer, she resists. Pretty surprising, considering how unattractive she was. I dunno, figured she’d be on my dick right now… not that I wanted it.

    Anyway, she leaves and then I’m finally free to hit on other chicks. I approach HB7.5 Asian chick, I say “oh this is your bitch act” after her ignoring me. This sort of gets her attention but I lose it after I start caring about the interaction. I tell her how to get guys to approach her, convo dies. I leave, she wasn’t really listening at this point.

    Then I approach this other chick HB7.5-8. This is how the interaction goes.

    She’s dancing.
    Me: Hey.
    HB8: (Ignores)
    Me: Hey, I know you’re putting on an act.
    HB8: (Taken aback, attention on me)
    Me: Are you smart? I’m giving you the GF test.
    HB8: I’m actually majoring in psychology.
    Me: Wow, really? I’m impressed.
    HB8: I also go to grad school.
    Me: Wow, you actually are smart (… wow, nice.).

    Then she turns away. And I stand there with my dick in my hands :/

    Okay, next set…

    I approach some married indian chicks. Eh. Insta-rejection.

    Approach a 3-set. Only interact with one of em (the drunkest). Not really challenging myself. GF test, do you cook, etc.

    I’m cold reading, qualifying, but… not teasing.

    I reapproach Asian, goes nowhere, tells me to go.

    Then we go home. Smh.

    Saturday FR

    Okay, full(ish) day of approaching. Except I don’t do a lot of that today either. New York has shitty transportation. But I’m out with ApproachWing and he approaches everything in sight. He has this habit of shutting down when things get awkward and making things more aggressive to burn the set down prematurely.

    But first, we approach two-set, blonde HB8.5, lesser brunette.

    We roll up.
    Me: Hey, you guys know where we can get a salad?
    BlondeHB8.5: Um… hmm. What kind of salads?
    Me: You know, do-it-yourself kind of stuff?
    BlondeHB8.5: Is this an excuse just to hit on us?
    Me: Yes it is. (I move in while wing occupies other chick)
    BlondeHB8.5: um, okay?
    Me: So, you a waitress?
    BlondeHB8.5: Um (looks at friend) no?
    Me: What, it’s a question 🙂 (first mistake, felt foolish, thought my question was stupid, second-guessing)
    BlondeHB8.5: I’m actually in school majoring in Sociology.
    Me: Wow, I never would’ve guessed.
    BlondeHB8.5: Well, I’m not stupid (shit-test).
    Me: That’s not what I… meant. (failing shit-test). I’m giving you the GF test. You can provide the looks (supplicating WTF) and I’ll provide the charm. But you can support me.
    BlondeHB8.5: That’s not how it works.
    Me: It’s a 21st century relationship, what’re you talking about? (couldn’t keep eye contact here, I remember. She was wearing sunglasses and then I saw my face in the reflection and it messed me up).
    BlondeHB8.5: Hmm, okay.
    Me: (too much of a pause here).
    BlondeHB8.5: Well, we’re gonna go, nice meeting you (kisses me on the cheek… like I’m her little baby cousin or some shit)
    ApproachWing: Hey, why don’t I get a kiss (he switched targets here or something)? I’d like to rub lotion all over you.
    Me: smh

    Well that dies. ApproachWing (after much rejection) finally gets into a set that hooks and he stays there for like 10-15 mins. Cool 🙂

    Nothing really ends up hooking for me for the rest of the day. I mean, even that last one didn’t hook. Must’ve backpedaled on being chill.

    Also noticed that I make situations awkward by saying “Yeah… okay, cool.” when silences come up. I’m actively working on that now. I also don’t practice the 3-second rule a lot. Need to stamp “3 seconds” to my hands or something.

    After that, we go up to meet Immoralgables! He’s a really cool dude, we chill on his rooftop and then hit the bars!

    First bar we go to, I see a fatty. She’s with her older friends, I chat her up, tell her the Yareally story. She hooks and asks questions. I decide to stay in this one also, see how long I can take it. I try to move her, she resists. I stay a little longer, she intros me to her friends. Now she’s into me and… my thinking with her is way different than I have with hotter girls… and I’m getting a bit annoyed about that.

    I eject cuz Immoral and WhiteWing are leaving.

    I approach bachelorette party and try the YaReally story again. The set implodes before I can finish and I look retarded.

    WhiteWing approaches this hot ass chick on the street. Gets her number. I’m jealous. I approach some hotties… don’t lead things anywhere (why can’t I just lead for fuck’s sake???). Like, they hook socially, but I just keep waiting for them to do shit.

    We sit down with some randos at another bar. I tell my story to the guy at the bar… he loses interest before I even finish it lol I’m just sitting there talking to no one, Immoral does some street game. WhiteWing is drunk, entertains some girls. I’ve had a couple drinks, but soberish for the most part.

    Back out on the street, WhiteWing pushes me to approach these hot chicks. We walk with them to this club and my girl likes me (I use the GF test routine again… I think it needs a point (DHV story or something) because I just randomly say “this is the GF test” and start qualifying, but I give no context for it…). I’m asking this blonde if she reads and shit lol but yeah…

    They both break away once we get to the club.

    We then head to a college bar, we all split up. WhiteWing opens some mixed sets, and I just stand there. I open one of the girls in the big group of girls. Some teasing, cold reading, she turns away. Meet her again outside, she’s with bitchy blonde. I make a remark to redhead, blonde just says “Ciao, ciao, ciao” over and over. Pretended as if I didn’t hear.

    We head to Immorals rooftop again, get blazed, and go out again. Save these chicks from homeless weirdo. One of the chicks is into me (hugging me a LOT, says thanks for saving her), says we should come with her and her friends… I don’t go cuz Immoral and ApproachWing don’t seem intrigued. I suppose I could’ve went with them by myself and if it went nowhere, could’ve taken a cab.

    We part ways with Immoral (we’ll game again soon bro!). It’s like, last call. We end up with some Asians. They leave. They were gross, but had nice bodies. One’s face looked like one of my friends ew. But like, that was it.

    Oh, and on the airplane ride back, sat next to hot blonde chick, but couldn’t bring myself to comment on anything but about how the airplane was too cold.

    So yeah, pretty uneventful weekend… it’s like I’m getting better but… not really.

    Monday, approached like 10 chicks during the day, shot down each time (more like, I rejected myself… cuz I didn’t FREAKING LEAD). Today, just did not approach.

    But funnily enough (from the story exercises, it seems), I’m getting more comfortable having attention on me from a big group. Getting comfortable talking for longer periods of time. Which is neat because I usually don’t 🙂

    Improvements needed:

    – More teasing. Taking things too seriously.
    – More eye contact — somehow, I’m backpedaling on this (I don’t want to stare in her eyes… but maybe that’s better than not looking much at them at all…)
    – 3-second rule. This would help me go a lot faster.
    – Lead. It’s like my brain keeps shutting off and reverting back to societal programming, jeezus!
    – Remove “okay… yeah… cool” from vocabulary. Get comfortable with silences.
    – Social circle. Need one of these as I have none, currently. Sunday night, I’m heading to industry night FOR SURE. Not missing it this time.
    – Stop supplicating. Ignore all logical when it comes to communication with girls.

    Yeah, it’s a shitty FR, didn’t get into enough convos. Until next weekend fellas.


    • Lol my perspective on Sat night

      Btw, I think we are the first two Chateau commenters to actually meetup and go out. Weird eh?

      Sat night: Kinda feeling some pressure to show Hunter a good time

      Starting from scratch really as I put nightgame on the backburner once daygame started to be good to me.

      Kinda feeling some pressure to be this boss-ass dude in front of Hunter but that goes away once I get to the club. I spend 15min just opening up randos and chatting up everyone. I’m not really in “game” mode nor was I the whole night as I’ve gotten too used to my daygame stuff.

      Meet Hunter and WhiteWing (who seems like a really solid dude). Go to my rooftop and catch up over a beer.

      Go out to a handful of the bars near my crib.

      Hunter has balls and hella cool to see him and his friend opening and just chatting up everyone. Reminds me of the energy I need to bring and it’s like they have this mindset that they’re not jaded and everything is an opportunity.

      Def was in my head more as I felt some urge to “show-off” to Hunter and WhiteWing.

      1) Hb7.5 in an orthopedic boot at the first bar we go to. Only happened really because Hunter/WhiteWing immediately opened her friends outside and she must of thought we were cool. We talk for a few min and even have her clasping my hands at kinoing at one point but I’m too chicken-shit in the moment to read btwn the lines. Yes that ends shortly (smh)
      2) Feel like I have to impress Hunter/White-wing and approach a 2-set and just kind of invade their space. Interaction could have went somewhere but was too chicken-shit in the moment.
      3) Okay. Go out to street. White wing opens a sexy girl and I think got her number. Hunter is approaching everything (even the 5set bachelorette lol) and the way he opens and stops and catches their attention is very solid. Reminds me of what I need to do. Again, too complacent with the open/walking with the girls during the day. Need to get back in that habit of the aggressive stop.
      4) Approach a v cute 2-set of Australians and FB close one of them as I walk with them to a club. Too chicken-shit in the moment…you get the point
      5) As soon as we get to this frat-bar I sit down with a cute 3-set and Hunter and WhiteWing sit down with and they start chatting them up. As soon as I walk in I sat down with them and assumed the sale and their reactions were awesome. They were kinda like “Who is this guy? OK it’s cool if he’s acting confident.” Eject when some guy comes back and notes that I took his seat. Why I didn’t move over is beyond me but I wasn’t that into it and just go to the bar and chat up other girls
      6) Leave the bar, approach 2 very hot model-esque girls and they hook initially but I’m too chicken-shit…and yes that fades quick. Pretty harsh how hb8+ will shut shit down if you’re not 100% congruent

      The rest of the night was more or less the same. Def got in my head at the last frat bar we went to and I just straight up told Hunter I had to step outside lol. But then again, I took the pressure off myself at one point and that felt just a lot better.

      Either way, it was cool to get back in the night-game mindset like that and props to Hunter and WhiteWing for inspiring me. Their level of energy and just fundamental soundness with their ability to approach whatever pushed me to try and do the same.

      Hunter and his wing come off as normal and outgoing dudes. Kind of what I expected I guess but I guess it’s weird aligning the online vs. real-life thing. At least it is for me.

      One note to Hunter. No need to be so hard on yourself at the end of the night. I mean, the stuff you were doing is outpacing 90% of other men in NYC and 99% of the rest of the world.

      Odds are it’ll start to click once you hang-out more with AlphaWing. Stick with WhiteWing though he seems like a solid dude to go out with. Shit, I’ll probably go out with him once before he leaves NYC.

      Anyway, hopefully we can do that again. I think we just set a record for meeting here and then in real-life.



      • Nice! I initially misread and thought you guys were hitting rooftop bar(s) so I was going to suggest one of my favs: Press Lounge in Hell’s Kitchen. It’s funny, the last time I was there w about five girlfriends we were hanging out on couches and this guy came up to us, sat down and just started talking like he owned the place. Great game. Maybe it was you! Lol


      • “Kinda feeling some pressure to show Hunter a good time”

        No worries 🙂 Had a blast.

        “One note to Hunter. No need to be so hard on yourself at the end of the night. I mean, the stuff you were doing is outpacing 90% of other men in NYC and 99% of the rest of the world.”

        Thanks, man! Yeah, I suppose I have trouble seeing it like that. Like… if I don’t do as much as I wanted, I feel like being mad at myself is the only other option. And if I don’t get annoyed at my progress, then I have to be fine going slowly? This is a weird complaint, but I’m just gonna have to stop expecting myself to be good, WHILE AT THE SAME TIME taking action to get there.

        The problem comes in when I tell myself (I can approach any of these girls) and then I don’t approach/my expectations hinder me from letting myself fail. Easier said than done tho…

        “Hunter and his wing come off as normal and outgoing dudes. Kind of what I expected I guess but I guess it’s weird aligning the online vs. real-life thing. At least it is for me.”

        Thanks, man. However, there are a lot of people in this comment section, I wouldn’t want to meet in real life lol

        “2) Feel like I have to impress Hunter/White-wing and approach a 2-set and just kind of invade their space. Interaction could have went somewhere but was too chicken-shit in the moment.”

        Not gonna lie, that was pretty sick lol I was like, shit, need to step up.

        “Pretty harsh how hb8+ will shut shit down if you’re not 100% congruent”

        Lol this is my life. I feel like I’m getting somewhere, then I drop the ball and they get bored. Again, because I want them to do all the work — this, I’m definitely getting tired of doing. Gonna just drag a chick out of the club this weekend, fuck waiting… dead serious on this.

        “Either way, it was cool to get back in the night-game mindset like that and props to Hunter and WhiteWing for inspiring me. Their level of energy and just fundamental soundness with their ability to approach whatever pushed me to try and do the same.”

        Glad we could help man!

        “Odds are it’ll start to click once you hang-out more with AlphaWing. Stick with WhiteWing though he seems like a solid dude to go out with. Shit, I’ll probably go out with him once before he leaves NYC.”

        I’m hoping that it clicks soon enough 🙂 And yeah, WW gets into it when he’s warmed up! You guys should meet up again soon.


  39. My go-to text that aligns with the “ambiguity principle” “Oh…”

    when all else fails, I respond with this….


  40. o/t

    Apparently “how a man handles his money” aka “financial responsibility” is more important than looks to women. Of course that could be interpreted in more than one way.

    “This trait beat intelligence (74pc), appearance (65pc), education (26pc) and occupation (32pc). Only sense of humour (87pc) ranked higher. Only (!) a fifth of women cited wealth as the most important factor when seeking a partner, with a third judging a man by his salary.”

    “However, men’s preferences are very different, Experian found. Just 55pc of British men rated financial responsibility as an important factor in a partner, with 67pc opting for appearances. Men also put less importance on a potential partner’s wealth (18pc), salary (25pc) and occupation (19pc).”


  41. Well fitting black jeans with an electric blue shirt and chunky outdoor pursuit style boots of black or possibly dark grey canvass. You can always wear smart jeans with a tailored jacket black jeans in particular. Do not wear trainers with jeans and jackets, wear leather shoes or boots only. Learn how to give all your leather footwear a military bull, chicks will always notice, comment on and dig this. Try wearing some highly polished lighter brown boots or shoes with black trousers and a belt that matches your footwear, and a lighter shade pale brown or cream shirt.


  42. “… understand almost nothing about the objective features …” I doubt that. As far as I know there is a seven-strong secret panel of experts from all over the world that YEARS in advance decide which colors are going to be fashionable in, say, five or eight years from now. Why so? Because the chemical and fiber industries need that lead time to get the matching colors right. Each new shade can be a challenge, as it might easily go too dark on cotton but come out too light on nylon etc. This takes years. So when the Paris fashion shows etc. get going, nothing is left to chance and the haute couture guys knew, if not the shape of the dresses, then their colors for some years in advance! So i think there must be some hard science behind color matching or else this process could not work so smoothly behind the scenes.


  43. Not once have I ever gotten the impression that the way a man dresses has any effect whatsoever on his chances with dateable women.
    Gold diggers, escorts and hookers excluded.
    Much like manners, gifts, flowers, etc. , dressing well impresses women over 55 and – somewhat strangely – girls under 16.
    If those are dating options for you, go right ahead and style away.
    If, however, your dating pools lies somewhere between 16 and 55, you can wear a Winnie the Pooh ball cap from Dizzyland, a Walmart camo jacket, a pink tutu and the moose slippers your grandma gave you when you were 5 – just as long as you’re a 22-year old Matthew McConaughey with chiseled abs on a 6’4 frame.