Visualizing Herb

Oh man, this picture of a herb doing what comes naturally is almost too gruesome to contemplate:

supine herb

[For this post we have a guest appearance by the judges from ‘American Idol’]

Simon: Paula, your thoughts.

Paula: I think they look cute together. He’s different, he’s unique. I like him.

Simon: [rolls eyes] Randy?

Randy: Dawg, this herb is doing his thing.

Paula: The chin cradle shows real love. [starts to cry] What the world needs are more herbs like him.

Randy: [addressing supine herb] I’m feeling ya, dawg, but dawg, maybe you could, you know, tone it down a bit, you know what I mean dawg?

Simon: Well, I think this herb is dreadful. His puffy face, his soft plush body of a woman, his chipmunk cheeks… just horrible. If I wanted to see something soft and cuddly lay down in the fetal position and rest its noggin in a woman’s lap to be stroked and petted I would get her a fluffy bunny rabbit. The rabbit would probably have bigger balls.

Paula: Simon! That’s mean.

Randy: [to herb] You know, he’s got a point dawg. In the hood, guys like you would get turned upside down by our bitches for your pocket change.

Simon: Randy speaks for the hood about as much as I do.

Paula: [to herb] I think you look fine. You are doing what two people in love do.

Simon: [to Paula] But does he make your gina tingle?

Paula: Simon!

Randy: That’s a “No”, dawg! [Randy high fives Simon]

Simon: [to herb] Look, a word of advice. If you want this girl to stick around, you need to stop acting like a bowl of Jell-O. That means stop planting your face in her lap like a cat. Man up! Her face should be in your lap, nibbling your knob. Especially in public, for god’s sake!

Herb: [fat cheeks quivering with anger] Simon, you suck. I love her, and that’s all that matters. Not everyone has to fit into your alpha-beta categories!

Paula: You tell him, herb!

Simon: [herb’s girlfriend crawls out from under the table by Simon’s chair, wiping her mouth] I’m sorry, I was busy. What was that you were saying?

Ryan Seacrest: [to herb] Congratulations, you’re going to suicide watch, my friend!

***

There are only two ways a man can act like this herb without suffering the consequence of major beta heartbreak over and over again:

1. Date an Asian girl, or

2. Date women less attractive than himself.

For those of us who prefer to grab the brass ring and date good-looking girls who have options in the sexual market, nauseating herbitude of the type shown in this photo should be avoided as much as possible. At the very least you shouldn’t snuggle up like an albino Smurf into your girl’s lap in public.





Comments


  1. I wonder if they voted for NotMyPresident….

    hahaha, even I can’t keep a straight face on that one.

    Like


  2. Just look at that dam smug.The way Martha Steward caresses this herbs chiny chin chin is an epic role reversal.

    That Randy impersonation is fucking spot on DAWG. lol

    Like


  3. I don’t get the asian girl remark.

    Like


  4. aww you made a funny! First time I’ve laughed at this blog.

    Like


  5. on July 8, 2009 at 12:51 pm ironrailsironweights

    Could be be passed out drunk in the picture?

    Peter

    Liked by 1 person


  6. Maybe the guy just finished off a three day coke bender?

    Other than that it is inexcusable.

    He should be sitting up in a lounge chair (no grass stains on the fine Irish linen) having two girls in bikinis rub his shoulders while he is huffing on a Monte Cristo.

    That would be smooth.

    – MPM

    Like


  7. I am sorry Roissy. You are alpha/beta obsession shows how insecure you are. Instead of having a true connection with your girl and not giving a f*ck what other people think about you, you would worry about not appearing alpha enough.

    Like


  8. Is that a lesbian couple?

    [LOL!]

    Like


  9. on July 8, 2009 at 12:54 pm Colin Bowel

    “Date an Asian girl”

    QFT.

    Like


  10. christ. couples like this breed. then, get divorced, to let the boys be raised by the manmom.

    then the cycle repeats.

    ZPG for Betas now!

    ps – asian girls are the most self-entitled, status obsessed, accoutrement junkies known. Barbies without the benny of blond landing strips.

    leave them in Thailand after rental

    Like


  11. you can pull off resting your head in your girl’s lap without being a herb, but you don’t do it by snuggling up to it like she’s your wooby. Lie on your back, not your side. Bring a bag of e-tabs, have music blaring from your F430, and wear Bathing Apes. Being pudgy doesn’t help (on either the layer or the layee) eliminate the stank of herb.

    Like


  12. on July 8, 2009 at 1:02 pm ironrailsironweights

    Barbies without the benny of blond landing strips.

    Landing strips, whatever the color, are only a very, very slight improvement over the Hideous Pedophilic Bald Eagle. They don’t even begin to compare to a thick, rich, luxuriant bush, overflowing with magnificent aromas and flavors.

    Peter

    Like


  13. dan:
    I am sorry Roissy. You are alpha/beta obsession shows how insecure you are. Instead of having a true connection with your girl and not giving a f*ck what other people think about you, you would worry about not appearing alpha enough.

    and how do you think i am able to achieve and maintain a true connection with my girls, hmmm…?

    Like


  14. on July 8, 2009 at 1:04 pm too late for romance

    All I see is a lower-end woman (i.e. a DC 5 or NYC 3) ripe for a real man to fuck her senseless after a dozen drinks and never speak to her again.

    And a pussy who will never be an issue one way or another. I see that too.

    Like


  15. on July 8, 2009 at 1:05 pm snatch magnet

    She looks knocked up, with a little herblet.

    Like


  16. on July 8, 2009 at 1:07 pm ironrailsironweights

    Hey Roissy,
    Here is a news item you might find interesting. Summary: 60-year-old, apparently unemployed man goes nuts when the court tells him he’s got to turn over his house title to his ex-wife (a lawyer, natch), takes her hostage and burns down the house. Now he’s facing all sorts of criminal charges. Would a less pro-female divorce law system have made a difference? I think so.

    Peter

    Like


  17. The look on her mannish face says:

    -She will have her way with this herb, even though she secretly despises him

    -She will have unprotected sex with his Alpha friends

    -The government) will support her

    I dont know what is worse. Her gruesome mug or his squeamishness.

    Hilarious post, Roissy.

    Like


  18. on July 8, 2009 at 1:09 pm Gunslingergregi

    It is only because his bitch is ugly. Otherwise laying down on your chicks legs is the bomb.

    But you already knew I was gonna say that.

    And that’s cool.

    Like


  19. ironrailsironweights

    …(insert generic pube reference #458-a here)…Pedophilic Bald Eagle….(insert generic pube reference #795-c.1 here)compare to a thick, rich, luxuriant bush, overflowing with magnificent aromas and flavors.

    Peter

    If you like hair in your mugugaipan, that’s your biz

    Like


  20. one last thing, is that chick Wonkette?

    Like


  21. I like the American Idol appearances. Nice touch.

    I can only imagine what the person taking this picture is like…deciding that this is a moment in life that we should capture, so we can look back and remember.

    Like


  22. I don’t think it’s Wonkette. She does have a similar overall look, but Wonkette’s mouth/lips are much prettier.

    Like


  23. The solid impressions keep coming!

    One point: In addition to a generous sprinkling of “Dawg”, no Randy Jackson impression is complete without incorporating his strange “for you, for me” formulations.

    “Hmmm…yeah, I’d don’t know dawg, the lap in the head thing wasn’t great for me. For you – for me – dawg, I’d try to at least keep my eyes open. You know?”

    Like


  24. That is totally David Lowery in drag.

    Like


  25. on July 8, 2009 at 1:29 pm greenlander

    You could make two normal-sized Asian chicks out of that heifer.

    Like


  26. on July 8, 2009 at 1:29 pm Backdoor Man

    Whether she loves him and will stay with him is irrelevant, because some women do, in fact, like herbs. The point is really about having a set of stones: unless he’s passed out drunk, is resting from a bruising fight, or is exhausted from his lion-like mating endeavors (notice the savannah-like setting), this type of posture really isn’t acceptable. Maybe in private once or twice, on the sofa while she watches stupid television, but never in public.

    Like


  27. on July 8, 2009 at 1:34 pm D. Ray Morton

    Funny post. The photo itself depicts quite a grotesque scene, with horrible connotations. The puffy cheeks have (or should have) nothing to do with anything, IMHO; it’s the mushy submissiveness which makes me want to puke.

    Like


  28. Paula: I have been taught never, never to lie and this is beautiful!

    Randy: There are some great boys and great girls. It’s the year for the boy…oh wait is that a dude dawg?

    Simon: If your lapdog qualities are as good as your face a lot of chicks will be getting cats.

    Like


  29. on July 8, 2009 at 1:36 pm D. Ray Morton

    The woman looks like ScarJo in a funhouse mirror.

    Like


  30. I like when a man rests his head in my lap… Granted, the overall appearance of this particular “herb” is pretty pathetic.

    Like


  31. Derbyshire is right…..we are doomed doomed doomed.

    Like


  32. on July 8, 2009 at 1:56 pm D. Ray Morton

    @S. “S.
    I like when a man rests his head in my lap… Granted, the overall appearance of this particular “herb” is pretty pathetic.”

    How so?

    Like


  33. With a slight adjustment of hand placement (or quick snapping movment), she could be putting him out of his misery.

    Like


  34. There are only two ways a man can act like this herb without suffering the consequence of major beta heartbreak over and over again:

    1. Date an Asian girl

    roissy, are you distinguishing between american born/raised and foreign?

    Like


  35. on July 8, 2009 at 2:14 pm Gunslingergregi

    From my point of view Mr. M I would say yea there is a big difference.

    Like


  36. Not all PDA is beta.

    Not giving a shit about “Getaroom!” calls during a hair pulling makeout with a hand between her legs is the way of the alpha.

    Like


  37. on July 8, 2009 at 2:33 pm Gunslingergregi

    ””””””Poetry of Flesh
    With a slight adjustment of hand placement (or quick snapping movment), she could be putting him out of his misery.”””””””””’

    More and more woman in states need to do that for their men as an act of kindness. Sometimes you can’t escape the horror of having lived there even by moving away.

    Like


  38. BTW, where the F are they anyway? A graveyard? That looks like a mound of fresh dirt on the left. Is it a new uber-herb dirt-colored/textured back-pack? And the grass is uncut. Is this in the Balkans, a trophy photograph? She’s an ethnic assassin, right? She just convinced him to go to a field with her for a shag, where she poisoned him, then dug his grave, and this is a photo which she will send to his family –her ancient enemies, with a note cursing them and bragging about how she has avenged some 500-year-old defeat; is that it?

    Like


  39. As the picture started to show on my screen and I saw the word “Herb’ I thought the woman was the herb! That should tell ya something! BTW:I am at a public library internet site. Next to me is a very pretty girl,dark haired,not sure of ethnicity,talking to her friend on the cellphone: “…he says its my fault we broke up. I got drunk and (whispers) had sex with some guy. The girl whose house we were at–who’s no longer my friend–called him and told him. I was drunk i didnt know what i was doing…” This chick is really out there…

    Like


  40. I once slapped an Asian girl with my dick.

    She smiled.

    And it was in the parkw hile she cradled her boyfriend’s head in her lap.

    Like


  41. john, that is EVERY chick. beware.

    Like


  42. roissy, are you distinguishing between american born/raised and foreign?

    They’re both pretty easy and beta-tolerant, especially when they land a tall white guy.

    Like


  43. on July 8, 2009 at 3:13 pm Dr. Grzlickson

    Goddamn it, Peter is doing it again.

    Like


  44. on July 8, 2009 at 3:19 pm Kick a Bitch

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    A++ Roissy!

    Like


  45. Willard Libby:
    That guy may look like a little faggot, but his body language is that of the masculine one in the couple. In the picture you posted, he’s laying on top of her, not the other way around. In one of the google images, he’s grabbing her tits. Not exactly herb behaviour.

    Like


  46. @cz- seems pretty clear to me that the photo is in Rock Creek Park and was taken at the picnic commented on yesterday.

    @POF- nice, but she doesn’t have that ninja-assassin look about her, now, does she? some people have said here (ahem, whiskey) that women want all beta males dead. if so, this is her chance… if not, she’ll probably take him home to make her some saffron-infused risotto.

    Like


  47. this guy’s only excuse (besides G’s suggestion that he was hopefully recovering from a 3 day coke-fest) is that he just finished up going Downtown Julie Brown and had to take a little cat-nap afterward.

    i doubt that’s the case though.

    Like


  48. wait, which is the female in this picture?

    Like


  49. on July 8, 2009 at 3:42 pm Gunslingergregi

    Look guys the woman was created to be your pillow. What are ya gonna do carry one around with you when you feel like chillin out under the sun. You just played a game of basketball where are ya gonna lie down to relax and yea in front of all the guys. Your on the beach impromtue what are ya gonna do if you want to kick back? Put your head on the sand or on some cushiony leg or tit.

    Like


  50. on July 8, 2009 at 3:43 pm Charlie Tuna

    Date women less attractive than himself.

    It looks like that is what he is doing.

    Like


  51. on July 8, 2009 at 3:45 pm ironrailsironweights

    Goddamn it, Peter is doing it again.

    It’s a tough, thankless job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

    Peter

    Like


  52. on July 8, 2009 at 4:04 pm Gunslingergregi

    In the wild he gets to sleep it is her job to let him know if there is some crazy shit going on. She has to stay awake using her energy up because it doesn’t matter. He gets to chill to the max because when she wakes him up he has to handle some physical shit. Like beating the shit out of some street vendor because they put ketchup on the tacos that where brought.

    Like


  53. Sleeping on a woman’s lap puts her in the nurturing/mother role. That’s right, it makes you look like you’re a little kid who’s been running in the sun too long. Ex post facto evo-psych explanations don’t cut it when up against that kind of image.

    Like


  54. The Male head on female lap is actually a common move in France. Whatever one may say about the French, Frenchmen aren’t herbs. I suspect that in countries where women are more feminine, this sort of behavior is less likely to lead to loss of respect or relationship damage. On the other hand, in America the women are more masculine and will look on this as weakness.

    This isn’t to say that a french guy would not be setting himself back with this sort of behavior, but only that French women are less aggressively punitive of it than American women.

    Like


  55. Maurice, well, if she -looked- like an assassin/ninja/killer robot, he’d never relax long enough to fall prey to her delicate feminine wiles before she took him out to Puppy Lake.

    I don’t want all beta males dead. They make decent friends, introduce you to their alpha male buddies, and insist on paying for meals in that desperately “nice guy” ploy of wearing you down with kindness (ref: xkcd.com comic #513), but you’re really aware of it the entire time, navigating around them, taunting them with flirting and revealing clothing, until they finally break and reveal their true passive-aggressive nature because you’ve gotten under their skin.

    Not that I’d ever do that.

    This week, at least.

    Like


  56. it’s not the head on the lap that makes this guy a herb, – well there’s a lot that makes this guy a herb, but anyway – it’s his body position. why is he curled up in the fetal position?

    here’s a picture where it doesn’t look so beta:
    http://cache1.asset-cache.net/xc/stk143198rke.jpg?v=1&c=NewsMaker&k=2&d=81DB3D5BD9CC707D4FD6EF54F6F6372A7226B852D651C92F

    and here’s a picture that’s closer to what herby mcbeta is doing:

    notice the second picture is of a little kid in his mom’s lap.

    Like


  57. @POF- having perused your blog, i wouldn’t have pegged you for the string-along-the-nice-guy behavior- more like a quick cruel-to-be-kind cutoff. which is really the right way to do it for both parties.

    Like


  58. Why would they date asian girls specifically? I am not that into asians so I don’t know much about dating them…

    Like


  59. poetry:

    excellent point. that shit reminded me of myself about 8 years ago. especially the passive aggressive part.

    Like


  60. on July 8, 2009 at 6:04 pm The Older Man

    Look into her eyes – she is ready to go with the next Alpha who passes by

    Like


  61. “Why would they date asian girls specifically?”

    Tendency to have a higher tolerance for betaness.

    Like


  62. I’m not a string-along-the-nice-guy type of girl. I genuinely enjoy the company of actual nice guys, tend to have one or two as lovers at any given time because their friendship is always lovely.

    However, sometimes there are guys that only know one way of picking up girls (for whatever ends) and that is to be the “supportive guy friend” and wait until the girl “comes around” to his way of thinking or he strikes at an emotionally weak moment on the part of the targeted female. This occurs over months, even years, of this plotting. I find this very disrespectful and manipulative, so when a man consciously tries to do this to me, I get very viscous and aggressive in my tactics.

    This has three main reasons: one, it allows me to work out my anger at losing a friend who could not accept my lack of interest in him, who would attempt to hunt me in such a backhanded way. Two, it shows him that this is not successful behavior, hopefully in such a strong way that he does not attempt to do it to another girl in the future. And, three, it brings to the surface his actual intent and mindset, which excuses any rude behaviors on my part and brings to public eye his actions. (Actually, if you go over to my blog-thing and click the Redding tag, he’s one of them. I’ve yet to post about the fallout about that one when he finally broke, and the shit he tried to pull until that point. I’ll get to it eventually.)

    I always have this need to be polite and respectful, to be supportive and friendly. But there are types of people that I cannot excuse, whether their actions are towards my friends or myself. This type of man is one of them.

    And that whole thing was totally off topic. Apologies, Roissy.

    Like


  63. on July 8, 2009 at 6:39 pm Carolus Reconditus

    OT, but cudent resist the temptation …

    Projectile vomit quote of the month:

    am in the business of reminding my readers that it doesn’t matter much what age you are, or whether you have a perfect body, but that love and life and sex are – or should be – intimately entwined. That sex really matters and is nothing to be ashamed of. That the best sex comes from long and loving relationships, and genuine intimacy is the goal for which we should strive, whatever our age.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/5769928/More-sex-please-were-grown-ups.html

    Before you check this out, try to guess the sex of the writer.

    Like


  64. Date women less attractive than himself.

    But he’s already dating a woman who is less attractive than himself.

    Like


  65. on July 8, 2009 at 6:55 pm Carolus Reconditus

    Poetry of flesh writes:

    I find this very disrespectful and manipulative, so when a man consciously tries to do this to me, I get very viscous and aggressive in my tactics.

    No, you don’t get viscous, you get vicious.

    If the male in question were a true alpha, you would get viscous (regardless of his ‘disrespective and manipulative’ nature).

    Like


  66. @ Roissy

    “Date an Asian girl”

    HMM. I don’t know exactly what you’re trying to get at (as there are at least two things you could be saying)…

    But I disagree.

    Like


  67. Man, Obsidian, you are so full of shit, all of the God damned time. Fine, if white guys can’t be objective about Obama, then I am hereby discounting every opinion you have on all of the white Presidents. If us white boys just can’t understand what it’s like in black America, then stop making posts like “what’s wrong with white middle class America”, because YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE, YO.

    Like


  68. Shit, that was supposed to be in the last thread. Guess I’m the asshole.

    Like


  69. on July 8, 2009 at 7:01 pm Carolus Reconditus

    cptnapalm mentions a tendency to have a higher tolerance for betaness among Asian girls.

    Betaness is to some degree in the eye of the beholder. A Western woman’s beta may be an Eastern woman’s alpha.

    Let us be thankful for subjectivity.

    Like


  70. on July 8, 2009 at 7:17 pm Gunslingergregi

    Yea be thankfull for differences not equality.

    Like


  71. Roissy, you seem to be suggesting that Asian girls are somehow second class.

    I and many other men have a strong preference for Asian girls.

    They are stereotypically slim, stylish, feminine, easy going and fun… endearing qualities!

    Like


  72. Carolus, thank you for pointing that out and making me laugh. I think that was the most brilliant Freudian typo I’ve ever made, and I’ve done some doozies.

    Like


  73. roissy: What did you do to Simon? Jell-O? noggin? He sounds about as British as Hugh Laurie in House, nevermind the low snark level! Of all the men I thought you’d do well, I thought it’d be Simon Cowell. However, it just sounds like normal you.

    Still, it’s bloody hilarious.

    Heh, if he just hugged her from his position, you’d have an image of that really disturbing beta hug I had the unpleasure of experiencing.

    Like


  74. That guy may be an herb, or he may just be a fat dude who is taking advantage of his girlfriend and using her as a head cushion.

    Like


  75. on July 8, 2009 at 7:53 pm The Older Man

    on July 8, 2009 at 6:15 pm Poetry of Flesh
    However, sometimes there are guys that only know one way of picking up girls (for whatever ends) and that is to be the “supportive guy friend” and wait until the girl “comes around” to his way of thinking or he strikes at an emotionally weak moment on the part of the targeted female. .

    Hence the Need to constantly “neg” and be aloof and dismissive with even your LJBF girls

    Like


  76. Hence the Need to constantly “neg” and be aloof and dismissive with even your LJBF girls

    Wait, if I turned two women into LJBFs, why would I want to sleep with them later on? I mean, the purpose of LJBF is that I viewed them as hug material, not fuck material…

    Oh wait. You meant the reverse…

    Like


  77. Good post. I’ve a friend that has had some images that are even worse than this. He is leaning into his GF’s neck kissing it while she is turned away almost laughing and hold his head. I did a photoshop and flip-flopped the couple and it looked correct then.

    If you’re sick of looking at this beta watch this Alphaness.

    http://www.videosift.com/video/UFC-Fighter-Awkwardly-Dry-Humps-Reporter-During-Interview

    Like


  78. That woman he is with is hideous. It looks like she is fumbling with her undergarments in order to thrust him below once again for another sloppy joe.

    Roissy, that is a cruel, disgusting image.

    The smirk on her face combined with his comatose expression really says it all. What horror.

    Like


  79. 1. Chick looks Polish.
    2. Chick looks like she’s lusting after Photographer (Roissy?)
    3. I wonder what the correlation percent is between chipmunk cheeks and betaness.

    Like


  80. Oh look! It’s mother and son!

    Like


  81. ROISSY

    By the way, another very interesting writer who would probably inspire some great comments from you is Christina Hoff Sommers — another Kay Hymowitz type, I suspect. You may have heard of her book “The War Against Boys.”

    Here is a very recent article by Sommers:
    “No Country for Burly Men: How feminist groups skewed the Obama stimulus plan towards women’s jobs.”
    http://tinyurl.com/lwqutn

    It opens with a statistic you have probably heard by now — “Of the 5.7 million jobs Americans lost between December 2007 and May 2009, nearly 80 percent had been held by men.”

    Like


  82. If women could press a magic button and kill all Betas, they’d break their fingers doing it. Absent the magic button, they’d prefer them all gay, or pressure to make them gay. As a practical matter in today’s world, they use social pressure to control betas. For however long that lasts.

    Gal’s probably ready to bang whatever Alpha comes along.

    Like


  83. I agree with Roissy the only men who have a “strong preference” for Asian women are soft beta men (and typically white at that). That being said, they’re not my favorite, but since I’m a white guy, they’ll do whatever I want. I can’t say that I don’t appreciate that.

    Like


  84. Firepower “asian girls are the most self-entitled, status obsessed, accoutrement junkies known. Barbies without the benny of blond landing strips. Leave them in Thailand after rental.”
    === Thais, sure

    http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Reader/reader1803.htm

    But there are a few Asian girls outside of Thailand.

    Lilgirl “I don’t know exactly what you’re trying to get at (as there are at least two things you could be saying)…But I disagree.”
    === Speaking to Mr. M., not LilGirl: does that help answer your question above?

    Like


  85. on July 9, 2009 at 12:47 am Gunslingergregi

    James biggest difference if you marry them and leave them where they are their is no incentive for them to divorce you. They can divorce you but it is not winning the jackpot.

    Like


  86. Fuck that bitch is ugly. I’d be sleeping too, that way I could dream of hotter women.

    Like


  87. Fuck that woman is ugly. I’d be sleeping too, that way I could dream of hotter women.

    Like


  88. The reason why Asian girls date “Beta” guys (aka last stop on the way to the Gaysville) is so they have a safe and convenient outlet for all their daddy issues. Take a close look at the Asian women dating these guys — almost always they are uber-credentialed, often professionally very successful nutcrackers that will not hesitate to verbally (and sometimes physically) castrate their men whenever and wherever. It’s payback for all those years she was told to STFU by dad.

    Like


  89. I dunno, i’ve always found something Alpha about using a woman as a prop, pillow, cushion, table, or other various ornaments.

    I was at a BBQ last saturday, and was lounging on a couch with my feet resting on a pillow on top of a girl’s lap.

    At first, she laughed and tried to brush my feet off. But when she saw I was serious, she loved it. We joked about me beng a modern-day King Tut, and how all I needed was beautiful slavegirls feeding me grapes and fanning me.

    Then, I decided to see how far I could push her. I told her that two taps of my foot, meant she should get me a drink, four was to put more beer in the fridge, and six was to check how far the BBQ was coming along.

    At first, once again, resistance. But sure enough, a minute after two taps, I had a beer in my hand.

    Every other girl in the vicinity hated this, and urged her not to let me do it. I ignored them, and continued our new communication method.

    The breaking point came when I thanked a friend for bringing me a tissue.

    “Why don’t you thank me?” She said, pointing at her lap.

    I looked at her, and said, “Because you’re not done yet.”

    She got up and stormed off, with the more bovine-looking women in the room giving me smug smirks.

    And yet, once they left the room for more hot dogs and Diet COke, guess who came back in?

    And guess where my feet went back to?

    And this is from a 20-year old Beta. You’re still the best, Roissy.

    Like


  90. Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men — the other 999 follow women.

    Groucho Marx

    Like


  91. on July 9, 2009 at 1:53 am Gunslingergregi

    Arrakis that shit owned.

    Like


  92. on July 9, 2009 at 2:01 am WHITE SURVIVAL

    The following is what happens when Blacks take over – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0PCQYalZU8&feature=PlayList&p=A4F58AF6783AC032&index=0 [video filmed inside the Louisiana State House]

    Like


  93. roissy, please, a word if you dont mind??

    http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/07/08/men.want.to.get.married/index.html

    please give this the roissy treatment for our further edification and insight, especially for those of us who are able to go 9-12 months of gf time routinely without getting pushed into wedding discussions. (28 months is my record.)

    Like


  94. omg, WS.

    What does it say that I want to share this with everyone

    got an example of this ridiculousness from any other races? I dont think it is just one race that can be idiotic, but some cultures do celebrate disrespect and lack of accountability.

    This is just how nawlins is too, I went to a school where that was how everything was treated. ugh.

    The rotting of our beautiful USA continues.

    Like


  95. Maybe she has a sneaky smile on her face where she’s about to say the photographer “let’s shave his head!”

    Like


  96. Superalpha:

    Like


  97. he looks all tuckered out, lil’ guy.

    real men nap on cold concrete slabs in january.

    everyone knows that.

    Like


  98. Roissy should comment on this video.

    http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80683781/

    Like


  99. on July 9, 2009 at 6:54 am ImperfectCadence

    Directed towards O and any others who are interested:

    There ARE black betas out there. I have an example.

    Beta is 20 years old. Very tall and skinny but not awfully ugly.
    His conversation usually revolves around big noting himself by mentioning big shots he knows, football teams and how he is a volunteer police officer. He’ll often show off his badge and handcuffs. Creeps girls out on a regular basis by trying to be overly friendly. Accepts drinks from other men but never buys a round. Often hits on women much older than himself. High school education but thinks he is oh so smart.

    Recently was engaged to a girl he had been dating for 3 months – then she dumped him.

    Is now dating a very overweight white girl – I mean round not curvy. She has very bad skin and is a single mother to an infant and is living with HER mother and her sister (who also has a kid).

    Facebook status the other day: why won’t my girlfriend answer the phone when I call her? 😦

    This “man” is so beta he is almost omega!

    His beta-ness is so creepy that it just makes girls uncomfortable to be around him.

    I appreciate being around alphas because at least they care about the comfort level of the girls around them. Alphas make me feel like a woman and enjoy being one.

    Like


  100. Well, my totally off-topic oil update continues.

    The ‘fake down’ that started July 1 has been pushed to a lunatic extent. My calls are dust.

    However, I was right that it was fake, and I was right that the big down isn’t yet. The Euro just popped 1% up, and that means things aren’t on yet. Current price of oil:60-61.

    We are going to see 70, maybe 75, to pull the oil up crowd in before they drop it.

    Readers Note:
    Does this mean we have a lot of oil? No. It means American’s allow their government to do whatever it wants with their money. If you have 100 billion dollars to blow, then you can price control.

    Like


  101. It’s the end. Herbification is almost completed in America, setting the stage for a docile, sociaist, feminist society ripe for the pickings.

    The American woman brought us here.

    Do not marry her, do not have children with her.

    Like


  102. YA – interesting thing is, by normal standards the guy wasn’t even a beta! he got chicks and was something of a thug himself that got into fights. i think within the black community, even a guy like that is beta. that’s why so many black guys date outside the race i think, the criteria for alphadom in the hood will have you ending up dead or in jail.

    Like


  103. on July 9, 2009 at 12:27 pm Jake Bronson

    Look at how SMUG that bitch is! She probably straps it on or at least fucks other guys with his FULL knowledge.

    Like


  104. Stop trying to make “herb” happen, Roissy. It won’t catch on. Stick to “beta.” Thanks!

    Like


  105. on July 9, 2009 at 3:07 pm Gunslingergregi

    Dang comment you put it all on red and it went black. Oh well.
    Buy a rental house this time. Better yet get yourself an asian woman to invest in she will at least do good with it he he he

    Like


  106. Stop trying to make “herb” happen, Roissy. It won’t catch on. Stick to “beta.” Thanks!

    the herb is a very special subspecies of beta.

    some differences:

    herbs often manage to get GFs and marry. many betas suffer years alone and unhappy because they are always striving for the unattainable.

    herbs are blissfully ignorant of their herbiness. many betas are all too aware of their predicament.

    herbs are family men. betas are everything but what they want to be.

    herbs wear frontal papooses and khaki. betas wear anything but what is stylish.

    herbs are pasty, overweight cubicle warmers who never forget anniversaries. betas are all that and a lot more.

    herbs are borderline androgynous. many betas are masculine but haven’t learned to put their masculinity to good use picking up girls.

    Like


  107. Hahahaha, not to hijack this thread- but isn’t that the same guy who drags an abandoned door home to his crib, spends days and dollars restoring it, and proudly presents it to his female other while he is washing the motherfucking dishes?

    Like he is some kind of motherfucking green beta democrat hero?

    Hahaha, I’m glad I have only 20 years left. Enjoy it, assholes.

    Like


  108. I found the Easter egg! The “woman” in this picture is actually Roissy wearing a wig.

    Like


  109. on July 10, 2009 at 3:35 am vainofstars

    Is dating an Asian girl “giving up” the brass ring? That’s the impression I got from the last paragraph, though of course it’s 3:35 am so my judgement isn’t the best.

    Like


  110. Stop trying to make “herb” happen, Roissy. It won’t catch on. Stick to “beta.” Thanks!

    “Herb” is already a more popular slang term than beta. It’s been a popular slang term for over a decade. If you want to stop it from “happening” you’re almost 15 years too late.

    Like


  111. It’s more well-known in the black and hip-hop community so maybe that’s why you never heard it before.

    Speaking of herb, check this out, an “Are You a Herb?” personality test:

    http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/aiMW24u/Are-you-a-Herb

    Like


  112. “dan:
    I am sorry Roissy. You are alpha/beta obsession shows how insecure you are. Instead of having a true connection with your girl and not giving a f*ck what other people think about you, you would worry about not appearing alpha enough.

    and how do you think i am able to achieve and maintain a true connection with my girls, hmmm…?”

    By hitting them.

    Like


  113. Officially a trend:

    Like


  114. on July 11, 2009 at 8:54 pm Gunslingergregi

    He looks happy and she looks comfy he he he

    Like


  115. […] man was pasty, dumpy, 45-ish, and smiling like a goof; a very happy herb, indeed. His body language was animated and he talked rapidly, cheerfully. Something about this […]

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  116. […] Did he hug her too tightly in public? Did he make kissy face with her in front of other men? Did he nestle his head in her lap? Did he say “sorry”? Did he cry after sex? Did he do all of these things plus tell her […]

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  117. […] 5. Lay on a girl with eyes closed, as Roissy eloquently pointed out. […]

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  118. […] 5. Lay on a girl with eyes closed, as Roissy eloquently pointed out. […]

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  119. […] Why is 0.5 or lower the golden STIR number? Because in my experience, the typical woman in love (or in lust) will spontaneously touch you twice as often as you touch her. Exceptions exist, but they are unimportant in the scheme of things. The lower the ratio, the more she likes you (or the less you like her). The higher the ratio, the more likely you are impersonating this guy. […]

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  120. […] can see another great photo of a herb here. And here. And here is an example of the subspecies hipster […]

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  121. […] servitude. Does Richard Kern follow my advice and propose to Martynka like an alpha male? Does a herb load in his pants? Interviewer: So you guys got married in June. Was the proposal special, was it kind of […]

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  122. […] lofty marital vows. Marry liberal women if you like getting taken to the cleaners and nuzzling your herb face into her fat lap. Rutgers University biological anthropologist Helen Fisher sees the rise of working women as a […]

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