Chicks Dig Incarcerated Jerks: There’s An App For That!

Need a bittersweet laugh? Chicks with a fever for the flavortown of a jerkboy inmate can now more easily connect to him through a new app called “TextBehind: Text-To-Inmates“. (Note: I am not making this up)

TextBehind® enables you to communicate with your incarcerated loved ones nationwide using text messages with photos, custom greeting cards and electronic money orders. Unlimited inmate reply letters are electronically delivered back to your smart phone and email at no extra charge.

Due to the inherent demographics of prison populations (majority dindu) most of the app users are livin’ large mamma jamas. But there are some white chicks in the mix. I expect white women to partially close the inmate-loving gap with black women. In the meantime, the few K-selected black betas will struggle to make a dent in their race’s genetic heritage, unless they opt for white fatties.

This one is my favorite user feedback comment:

Love this app. This is so much more than an app. To be able to send loved ones photos and money without having to wait in line at a post office is amazing. I’ve had a few issues but when I emailed text behind they emailed me back within the hour and went as far as to give me a call to ensure the issues were resolved and they were. I absolutely love this app. It safe and secure. Just ensure if your loved one gets transferred to another facility edit that information under your profile.

😆 Alpha jerkboy inmates get tit pics and money. Betas get empty wallets and blue balls.

Isn’t it about time Chateau Heartiste is awarded something for being so far ahead of the “chicks dig jerks” curve? People scoffed at first, but now there are apps to help women meet the badboys of their dreams. Goooooooooooooodbye, America!


  1. women meet the badboys of their dreams

    that’s all their hindbrain wants


    • on December 2, 2015 at 3:25 pm Captain Obvious

      If you’re out on a date with a chick, and another plate calls, then tell her, “I gotta answer this – it’s my parole officer – I’ll be back in just a minute.”


      • on December 2, 2015 at 3:28 pm Captain Obvious

        Then when you come back and sit down with your date: “If you ever meet my parole officer, then DO NOT tell him that I took you to a restaurant with a liquor license – I ain’t going back to prison – no way, no how.”


    • in other news, water is wet, women are stupid



    The website is great. It’s the one time the mystery meat in all the pictures actually makes sense


  3. on December 2, 2015 at 3:07 pm Wrong Side of History

    It’s amazing that civilization is even possible given how opposed raw female sexuality is to it.


    • on December 2, 2015 at 3:32 pm Captain Obvious

      My Sub-Theory is that the collective Western hamster senses the loss of K-Selection [1-Man/1-Woman] and the rise of R-Selection [polygamy] to replace it, and so the chicks are toughening up in order to catfight their way into an Alpha Sh!tlord’s harem, while simultaneously the Beta dudes are giving up and becoming effeminate and growing manb00bs because their hindbrains can equally well sense that they just aren’t Alpha material.


      • huh? Dude women are naturally like this and always have been. They are only kept in check by men.

        Women in arab countries act like this? Hell no…And they are subject to polygamy.


    • Never thought of it that way. I think it is amazing only that civilization does not fall sooner. Civilized men don’t handle women differently than savages: they cooperate better with men of high (but not low) calibre. Game assumes the decline rules of male-female social engagement. Won’t last forever, unnatural.


      • on December 2, 2015 at 6:28 pm a frickin’ John Wayne to tie her down

        RD, I hope it’s unnatural. To the best of my knowledge, only the White Race has ever achieved the lofty heights of K-Selection and 1-Man/1-Woman, where the expectation of every little boy was that he had a God-given right to a wife someday. In strictly Koranic countries, the top 25% of men grab all of the women for themselves [because the Koran authorizes 4 wives per man], and the bottom 75% of Betas and Gammas and Deltas [???] just sit around all day giving one another bl0w j0bs.


      • Yes, I was that nice guy thinking ‘some special just for me’ was out there. Think I will be an effective producer ever? lmfao 1-1 makes sense if 50%/50%. However, in times of conquest, in can be 4-1. Headwrap is designed to conquer not govern (easily taken over from within, petrodollars, etc). Adaptation is natural requirement. Male superiority (of cooperation and property rights, even in pussy) came from denying gene reproduction to inferior men (evolution): don’t have faith in static perfection on earth. Life requires change requires instability.

        Cultural decline comes from denying the culturally superior man (who was beguiled and bribed and threatened over seeming trifles to enjoy a slightly degraded peace that adds up to this shit). Current system is based on wealth (and emotion) cannibalism: no progressive meme evolution. Women are gene evolution only: weak, not meant to be in charge. Gene-centric, cannibalistic social system the requires cooperation for order: unnatural. But the natural environment for long enough to be our lot. I suggest playing to win not playing for some a priori righteousness. Context is half the truth. The context justifies the means always.

        We are better at their games if we simply try. Might be difficult to dig out of hole, and too late for some, but they don’t stand a chance if the rational man plays their games to win. As Frost says, there has never been a crowd of philosophers. The first will be glorious. I wish I might be young and strong and with them when the time comes. There will be hell to pay. 🙂


    • Remove the welfare state and that raw female sexuality will become more tempered again. Through the political process, through the state, people have removed or at least mitigated the risks, the consequences of this sort of behavior to the individual woman.

      It’s another application of Bastiat’s seen and the unseen. What is seen is women and children having food and shelter what isn’t seen is the change in women’s preferences in men because their basic needs would be taken care of regardless of what sort of men they chose.

      It changes the equation. It changes the risk/reward ratios. Women with high risk tolerances still do what they always did but those with lower risk tolerances can and do indulge as well when the state (well those the state takes from) are covering the downside.

      If women were once again faced with raising children on their own, totally on their own, without welfare, without state protection, without state services, their preferences would revert back to productive civilized men.

      Perhaps this is getting to the heart of the cycles of building civilization and collapse.


  4. Thy lord of darkness speak ever in his truthfulness. All hail thy mighty shive. May it glow in crimson red for all eternity.


  5. I have seen women using as a dating site before. It’s practically already set up that way, seeing as the reports show a pic and vital stats, and you can tag “hotties” and “hunks”, and the arrested are organized by state and county. The next step is just looking up your soul(cell)mate on facebook and sending them a message.


  6. 48 hours on CBS had a show on this Sat. night. Chick in Winnetka IL regularly visits inmate who murdered her sister. She says it’s to show forgiveness but from reading CH I suspect jerkboy tingles.


  7. They’ve even got this beauty wearing Jew glasses.

    jesus christ


  8. The decline is hastened. I can’t wait to see then next app idea, maybe some kind of mixed breed baby breeding app to show the look of a white woman’s half-black baby.


  9. My review of the app: “3 stars. What if your girlfriend is the one behind bars? I’ll add a star to my review if you give me a feature to virtually- RUB THAT CLIT!”


  10. In 1994 a lady I met tried to set me up with her daughter. She wanted her daughter to date a nice guy like me instead of the criminals she normally goes for. So I met the daughter and she took me to a little party. The girls (all attractive, young, and white) would accept collect calls from various prison inmates. They would get so excited when their felon called them. Then a convict entered the apartment. He had just been released on parole and within a minute was in the bedroom having sex with one of the girls. That experience changed my life. For 20+ years I have known that chicks dig criminals.


  11. Um. OT? Cappy Cap is promoting his hats. Attention seeking? The expression of a thousand points of light that the betas take as an asset? Maybe outright mental abuse (and I write from experience)? It is my opinion that a beta wing of the Sphere left (or is leaving slowly) with Mr. Neo Maskulinn. You see what I see or am I just paranoid after reading this blog? I just cringe with inference of a back story despite the pretty face. Amicrazy?


  12. It is obvious the reason these girls go so openly for felons is they know the beta boys will be there, by state mandate, to support them and their children.

    This isn’t that complicated.

    If it were not for welfare, these ladies and their babies would be starving to death, instead of needing bariatric surgery. Felons would be a luxury most couldn’t afford.

    Listen. White chicks are often just a waste. They are as stupid as stumps. By choice, pumping out low IQ brown boy babies to grow up to be low class felons and pumping out brown girl babies to be rejected by everybody and wind up single mamas. Don’t worry about them. Move on. Go Asian. There’s billions of them.

    Just be selective.


  13. It’s amazing how nostraheartiste knows the pulse of this despotic society. Took the red pill and never looked back.


  14. @ch

    radio silenced for a week. How should I go about initiating a hangout (with the post slut defense “rain check” girl who’s in my grad school class) without sounding like a broken record…..



    UCSB White Student Union’ Plans January Demonstration

    Facebook Page, Unaffiliated with the University, Forms in Response to Black Lives Matter Movement


  16. on December 3, 2015 at 10:40 am Experienced Father


    >Face Palm<

    We have gone from "Keep your daughter off the pole" to…

    "Keep your daughter off the text an Incarcerated Jerkboy app"

    How likely is that?


  17. A 60-year-old Ohio mob enforcer-turned-pastor married his teenage bride and got her pregnant, all with the blessing of the other lady in his life — his 44-year-old wife.

    “The whole situation works for all three of us,” Thom Miller told Barcroft Media. “I am the only one who is allowed to have more than one partner — and both of my wives understand and appreciate that.”



    Trump takes the Kosher Seal