Sweeps Week: 2015 Punchable Shitlib Face Tournament: First Round Winners

The polls for most punchable shitlib face of 2015 are closed. We have our winners who will advance to the semifinals.

In what some are calling an upset akin to Buster Douglas-Mike Tyson, Matty “Polar Bear” Yglesias edged out [insert double entendre here] Ezra “Null Entity of Nepotism” Klein in Bout 1.

Bout 2: Dylan Matthews doubled Alex Pareene’s vote total. Matthews’ mug inspires twice as many knuckle sandwiches as Pareene’s.

Bout 3: John Scalzied will be overjoyed that Pajamaboy routed him for backpfeifengesicht honors. No doubt Scalzied was dreading his preteen daughter, who can bench press more than him, impulsively clocking him right in the kisser if he had won.

Bout 4: Lindsey Graham didn’t need BACKROOM shenanigans to easily defeat Devin Faraci. (Though it looks like the two of them would’ve loved backroom play together.)

SEMIFINALS MATCH-UPS

Matty Yglesias vs Dylan Matthews

Pajamaboy vs Lindsey Graham

Geeeeeeeet ready to rumble!





Comments


  1. this tournament has inspired me to punch more shitlibs

    Like


    • For those who are about to punch, may I recommend a Japanese makiwara board. It’s a small board offset on another small board mounted on a wall that you punch repeatedly while it gives a little under the force you expend.
      After enough practice on the makiwara board, the force of your focused punch is greatly magnified, and you will be able to literally tear the face off
      of your chosen shitlib. Gets to work!

      Like


      • Great idea. I have a heavy bag, but forgot about those. Didn’t know what they were called. I’m going to try to make one. Thanks.

        Like


  2. CH your tweet to Klein today was lzozlozlzlozoz one of THE greatest of all time, even for you, and that’s saying a lot. So much chiv in one hundred whatever characters are allowed. I just wish I could know what goes through that cunttard’s mind when he reads that. I want to call him a traitor, but he is not. He is an enemy combatant.

    Like


  3. John Farking Oliver already.

    Like


    • Oliver’s a laughable (as in at him) little water carrier for the left wing corporations. His wife is an affirmative action Army vet who threw away any claims about “loving her country” and her service when she shacked up with this twit.

      I wish I could meet him, John Stewart, or the affirmative action replacement for Stewart in a bar and just start punching. No doubt they would start crying, post photos of themselves with the injuries (not realizing how much of a wuss it makes them look like), and complain about the “breakdown of dialog and civility” in the country (i.e. their chickens coming home to roost).

      Daily show rape!

      Like


      • on December 10, 2015 at 2:44 pm Laguna Beach Fogey

        Anyone know if Oliver is Eskimo?

        Like


      • I think just his glasses, but could be wrong.

        Like


      • As usual, whorefinder brings an in-depth shiv with humor wrapped into it. Love it.

        Any of those pansy “comedians” like Oliver, Stewart, Noah or Colbert deserve a good punching. Most of the males I hear or see laughing or praising them often have the typical Jew-style glasses, enjoy local craft beer, and wear tight jeans.

        The only good thing Jon (((Leibowitz))) ever did was go on Crossfire and tell Cucker Carlson and that liberal fag to shut the hell up. His on-air reaction to 9/11 was also genuine.

        Like


  4. Instead of punching Lindsey Graham I would kick him in the ass. That way I could injure the tongue of Matt Ygesias at the same time.

    Like


  5. When Trump crushes Hillary Rotten and gets 30% of the black vote, we’ll start seeing shitlib commentary about latent sexism and traditional masculinity within the black community. You wait.

    Like


  6. […] Sweeps Week: 2015 Punchable Shitlib Face Tournament: First Round Winners […]

    Like


  7. Ezra Klein knocked out in the first round? The fight was fixed!

    Like


  8. Faggoty Dylan Matthews vs pajamaboy. Punch them while they’re both in the same room trying to decide which one of them will be power bottom. They can probably figure out a way for both of them to be PB. OT, any thoughts on how the Trump will address Christmas? Will he say, ‘Merry Christmas’, and leave it at that? Will he say something like, ‘I’M a Christian and have always said it.’? I have no idea how the Master will stomp on the media happy holidays feelgood-ism. I’m aware he has eskimo ties.

    Like


  9. Matthews – Graham for the final.

    Like


  10. Lindsey vs. Pajamaboy is a finals-worthy matchup in the semis. I’ve got my money on Lindsey going all…the…way to the punchout promised land.

    Like


    • Ah, but Pajamaboy is an every-man’s punchable shitlib. Everybody knows a pajamaboy, and everyone wants to punch him. Pajamaboy is going to win because he’s just too much like that effeminate manlet you encountered the other day who tried to tell you about how good Starbucks coffee is by showing you a picture he took of his FrappucinoCreamyHalf-n-halfdrownedsugarcocoabeans using his iFag.

      Like


    • Guy at our office is full on pajama boy. Hair, glasses, faggoty smirk. Joker wears highwater fucking pants. His voice sounds like he never reached puberty. Faggatron 5000, he is.

      Like


  11. Pajamaboy all the way

    Like


    • Yup. He’s gonna go out Full Rousey.

      Like


      • Speaking of Rousey, you know she’s the mainstream’s little darling still, despite having had her ass handed to her. Of course, they have to be: they’re all in with her. She’s on the cover of ESPN mag (the ringleader!) to talk about her career and comeback and yadda yadda yadda. The chica that cleaned her clock gets the shaft, though her hometown threw her a parade.

        There’ll be a rematch, Rousey will “””win””” and the wheel in the sky keeps on turning.

        Like


  12. Graham is a pretty hardcore warmongerer and sounds like he wants to kill everyone. Alpha?

    Like


  13. Lindsay Grahmnesty won his 72-28 over a man who shamelessly wore a dress and posed for a picture. His major of victory was the largest. He’s not even a shitlib. He’s a cuckservative, a traitor to his party and country, and that shows the people hate traitors the most.

    Like


  14. Jammy versus Matthews. Shit, just seeing Matthews makes me want to punch anyone within arms reach. Now that’s some shitlibeery….I dare say progress!

    Like


    • i went for pareene first round, that matthews guy looks chromosomally challenged or something, but pareene and yglesias just make me want to beat right in the center like a catcher’s mitt

      Like


  15. Lindsey Graham doesn’t even look like a real person. It’s like some sort of mulatto between a doll and a faggot.

    That says, Pajamaboy spoons him to death. I don’t think Gaypedoface could handle all that twinkness without growing weak in the knees.

    Dylan Mattthews doesn’t look human enough to be punchable. Matty Yce beats him.

    Like


  16. That Lindsay Graham is even in this horrid contest is completely disgraceful.

    It. Is. Simply. WRONG. To. Hit. A. Woman! Full. Stop.

    Like


  17. Graham is one funny fucker though. I crack up listening to him.

    Like


  18. The sad part about Graham is that his public positions would be excellent except on immigration. That combined with his obvious pussy-fagginess makes it obvious to me that the money men wanting cheap labor and removal of whites as a majority are running the show.

    Like


  19. All this criticism from Israel about Trump’s idea to temporarily halt Muslim immigration into the U.S. is really a perfect opportunity for Trump to call Israel out on its hypocrisy: how much Muslim immigration does Israel allow each year?

    Give me a break.

    Like


    • on December 10, 2015 at 5:56 pm Captain Obvious

      Like


    • Bibi throwing Trump under the bus is a cynical and crass political move on his part (if there was no upside for Bibi to support Trump’s statements on Muslim immigration, he could have stayed quiet about it). Never mind that Trump has lavished praise on Israel and his own daughter converted to Judaism. Because Trump represents a credible threat to The Narrative, arms were twisted and now the long knives are coming out for him.

      The far and alt-right was willing to overlook his pro-Israel policies in order to see the bigger picture of supporting a strong immigration restrictionist.

      This should serve as a lesson to all burgeoning populist conservative movements: trust the eskimos to have your back at your own peril.

      Like


      • With Bibi, its not The Narrative he’s worried about protecting. That is to say, the diversity is our strength narrative. Rather he is worried about maintaining an iron solid lock on the US Federal Government and Intelligence. The hell with immigration, if Trump gets in, the real playtime might be over with.

        Like


  20. Can it be like this???

    Where they go against each other. I don’t want their filth on my hands.

    Like


  21. Each of Pareene and Scalzi was worthy of a spot in the final; tough first-round draw for each. I recall seeing a picture of Pareene in one of his articles and I swear his “earspan” was broader than the span between his shoulders.

    Like


    • pareene’s face really speaks to my fist. i thought he should get through. dylan looks like he has serious birth defects

      Like


  22. “Mobufu, tell me about Donald Young.”

    Nigga got shot?

    Like


    • on December 10, 2015 at 4:16 pm Captain Obvious

      Yeah, but was it Pritzker’s peeps or Brennan’s peeps? Or are Brennan’s peeps actually Pritzker’s peeps in disguise? Meyer Lansky Rape of Al Capone!

      Like


  23. On the Those Who Can’t See post: kinda proud how compatible Turks are with Western nations. Maybe that’s why I underestimate Muslim proclivities.

    Like


  24. I pick Lindsey Graham as overall winner, hands down. He manages to make Pee Wee Herman look like a real man.

    Like


  25. Next time, set up the left-news anchors in a punchable face bracket.

    My money is on Chris Matthews pulling an upset over Rachel Maddow and Anderson In-The-Pooper.

    The gays don’t get punched rape!

    Like


    • Mika vs Ashley Banfield or that Camerrota slut.

      Mika….sounds like a porn name.

      Like


      • I call Mika “MSNBC Barbie.” I like to say that around family members who watch her—or any feminist who mentions her. I say her nickname and then giggle. Drives them MAD! But when they try to attack me/defend her, I just smirk and ask what she has ever done besides sit there and look pretty. They can’t come up with anything.

        MIka rape!

        Like


    • Chris Wallace.

      Surely Michael Moore belongs in one of these contests.

      Like


    • CNN’s Chris Cuomo has rapidly ascended up the list of punchable media faces.

      He even had Carly Fiorina bleeding out of her eyes and nose and wherever this morning.

      Like


  26. on December 10, 2015 at 5:46 pm gunslingergregi

    made love to another woman that wants my kid today
    hopefully finish up later she dont think she can have kids but i gave her permission to have one of mine

    Like


  27. There’s actually precedent of Islamist cousin fuckers murdering a major presidential candidate. Sirhan Sirhan took out Bobby Kennedy because of his Israel support.

    That in mind, and just the fact that they are inbred goat-fuckers in general, Trump is obviously going to be aware that there is a huge target on him. I’d never been to this website before, but this report of nascent plot on Trump’s life, foiled by alpha wingman Putin, rings credible:

    http://www.usapoliticstoday.com/russia-warns-donald-trump-of-assassination-plot/

    Like


    • Didn’t those horrid Russkies warn us about those Chechens?

      Like


      • I used to think that Russians and Chechens were both equally uncivilized, except that Russians happen to have an upper class that isn’t. LZOLZOLOZLOLZOLZOLZOLZOLOZLOLZ

        Like


    • I don’t think that the PLO back then were Islamist. Could be wrong though.

      Like


    • I’ve never understood why the left coddled communists and creeps from the Middle East when a red bastard and unhinged “Palestinian” took out JFK and RFK. Guess “self-loathing liberal” is a real thing.

      Like


    • on December 11, 2015 at 9:58 am Mandy been here a while

      Sirhan Sirhan was Christian.

      But I wouldn’t put it past Muslims to try. Fortunately Trump is smarter than they are

      Like


      • yeah, kind of. I googled around, it looks like Sirhan changed religions more frequently than most arabs change underwear.

        Like


  28. Zuckerburg making a run as odds on favorite for next year’s competition….

    Like


  29. Is it to much to ask for injuries on all sides? That way we all win!

    Like


  30. To cleanse the palate after this, we’ll need a Which Would You Bang tournament full of pretty young things with a diverse array of hair and eye colors.

    Like


  31. on December 10, 2015 at 7:09 pm gunslingergregi

    so hold up did i get raped while i was on syraquel

    Like


  32. on December 10, 2015 at 7:12 pm scipio africanus

    Pajama boy vs Lindsey like NFC championship game in the 80s

    Like


    • Frankly, I doubt the Googlewebz has the capacity for Lindsey v Pajama Boi. I gassed up my generator. Bigger than y2k.

      Like


  33. on December 10, 2015 at 7:22 pm scipio africanus

    If
    Lindsey doubles his numbers he goes from zero to zero – Sad

    Like


  34. Lindsey Graham, this is all I have to say to you ma’am.

    Like


  35. on December 10, 2015 at 7:25 pm scipio africanus

    Be great if Isreal cancels Trump’s visit. Then we can go all in: why are we acting like Isreal is the 51st state. Bring it on Bebe

    Like


    • Nah, you gotta say you support Israel to get elected. Its not just jewish donor money, remember, middle America evangelicals are pozzed with Israel love and Trump needs those votes.

      You have to get in and prosecute their spies, fire their corrupt dual citizens, end neocon wars, push back on the FED. And all the while you say “I totally support Israel”, get re-elected because evangelicals have been too stupid to see the zio-agenda, and they’ll be too stupid to see its unraveling.

      Its gonna be a god damn epic troll.

      Like


      • That’s an excellent point… support Israel, by all means, but clean house on this side of the pond.

        Like


      • on December 12, 2015 at 10:59 pm Zed, Lord of the Brutals

        We SHOULD support Israel, that’s where the Juice belong. Not with money, but where it doesn’t cost us money or lives, sure.

        Like


  36. on December 10, 2015 at 8:12 pm gunslingergregi

    say what
    my chick found god in jail
    holy lord in heaven
    going to church even
    hahahhahahahahhahahaha

    Like


    • on December 10, 2015 at 8:13 pm gunslingergregi

      she said my dad would be proud of her
      awwwwwwwwww

      Like


      • on December 10, 2015 at 8:15 pm gunslingergregi

        says our love is poison though she tells it like it is wonder if it can be remidede
        she didn’t want to call me cause she was ashamed she didn’t make it out there so she tried to off herself
        told her she was a sillyhead and not to stress so much
        found god though so sweet

        Like


      • on December 10, 2015 at 8:25 pm gunslingergregi

        the thing about her is she always told me the truth
        she told me she was fucked up and was not the one for me
        but 99.99999999 percent of her actions where always love and some bad
        i think she was wrong the only reason she hurts me on the .0000001 is because i love the woman duh he he he
        she even volunteered to take care of my mom
        fed my dad with her effort
        fed the neighborhood
        planned events
        made people feel special
        talk about being down on yourself for doing some bad stuff when majority is good

        Like


      • on December 10, 2015 at 8:51 pm Captain Obvious

        It sounds like Gunny is a BPD Widower [which is the male version of a female Alpha Widow]. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

        Like


      • on December 10, 2015 at 9:06 pm gunslingergregi

        Captain Obvious

        It sounds like Gunny is a BPD Widower [which is the male version of a female Alpha Widow]. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder
        ”””””’

        every woman i get is alpha female he he he

        Like


      • on December 10, 2015 at 9:07 pm gunslingergregi

        my first wife ran the family support group for the company when i was an e4

        Like


    • Gunny,
      They all get religion in jail. And when they get out,they toss the Good Book and it’s teachings out the window. Most , but not all do this. Pray that she is the exception, not the rule, I am going to. Bless you brother, I pray nothing but the best for you and yours most sincerely,
      The Colonel.

      Like


      • on December 10, 2015 at 8:43 pm gunslingergregi

        she follows the good book just when she has a bad day she doesn’t
        but keeps getting better at it
        but when your whole life you have had to be a tiny one and be around thugs can you imagine
        yea need the prayers
        she lives it daily
        i had no water this woman was carrying freaking water heating it so i could bath

        Like


      • on December 10, 2015 at 8:46 pm gunslingergregi

        thank man

        Like


      • on December 10, 2015 at 8:52 pm gunslingergregi

        there is a diference between petty bad shit that can be fixed
        and bad shit like hurting people for stupid shit and murdering people for stupid shit
        allthough yea her trying to off self grr kind of diferent though

        Like


  37. I’d trust an eskimo before a Mahometan, but that’s not saying much. I don’t care for either one.

    Like


  38. It’s nice to see that the Faggot Within made it to the second round.

    As discussed, I’m betting that the Faggot Within is secretly Little Matty Yglesias, simply because Little Matty is the exact opposite of what the Faggot Within pretends he is. Because of this blatant projection of our favorite closeted homosexual, no credibility troll, he either IS Little Matty or bears a striking resemblance to him.

    Matty Yglesias rape!

    Like


    • whorefinder,
      The faggot tells on himself in numerous ways.
      6′ 2” Nordic, Owns his own biz, “soft harem. I’m gonna break it his bullshit down.
      5’6 ” ,eskimo, ambiguosly fag/ lesbo, and its ” soft harem ” of 5 is its fingers.

      Like


  39. ” she follows the good book just when she has a bad day she doesn’t ”
    We all do that, Gunny. Be strong, and be there for her, but don’t let her play you is my advice. I’ m one of those old fart boomers , I want to help if I can, not hurt. Prayers to you and yours, good sir.

    Like


    • on December 10, 2015 at 9:18 pm gunslingergregi

      yea im trying to help people but prob signaling too a little he he he
      last few days really starting to get high on life again
      trying to let the bad go
      go with the good
      think that forgiveness thing might be the key
      fuck it whatever it was forgive
      id want her in my afterlife though to keep it fun he he he

      Like


  40. How about Michael Moore vs. Adam McKay?

    Michael Ian Black vs. Meghan McCain?

    Like


    • Michael Moore, at the time of his Columbine agitprop, deserved a good ol’ fashioned ass-whuppin’…

      … now, meh… he’s ancient history.

      Like


  41. Moderation sucks rape!

    Like


  42. My own son grew up in Texas and he looks un-cannily like Chris Kyle – The high kill-rate sniper who wrote a book, was martyred, made famous by C.Eastwood, and then got to be buried in the Texas State Cemetery with 2 F16s doing a fly-over. An awful lot of people are not buried there…much less get a fly-over.

    My son never had a chance in college. He just got a 100 k bonus and a brisk promotion in his oil company of employment despite the generalized decline in that industry.
    I did manage to get him to look at most of the deranged faces that were presented here as competing in this contest.
    Monitors can be replaced….

    Like


    • Little did they realize, Trump never was a laughing matter… leastwise, not outside the aegis of MSM snarkery.

      Like


  43. Pics would have helped for us who didn’t pay as much attention

    Like


  44. These shitlib contestants are ham n’ eggers…

    … my fists, as if they had a mind of their own, are chompin’ at the bit for Quentin Tarantino.

    Like


  45. on December 11, 2015 at 8:15 am The Other Anonymous

    The winner will be transported to the award cerimony in a crowded all-boys Catholic School bus … Just to prepare him for the beating he’s to recieve.

    Like


  46. on December 11, 2015 at 9:25 am Captain Obvious

    LEIPZIG CHILDREN ATTACK REFUGEE CLASSMATES!!!!!

    Like


    • Yet we have to go to YouTube for even that sparse information on White school children getting bullied by darkies…

      … which has been ongoing for decades.

      Like


  47. on December 11, 2015 at 9:30 am Captain Obvious

    Stalin’s Iron Curtain protected them from the Eskimo poisoning [in m0d, but Leipzig was J.S. Bach’s hometown].

    Like


  48. on December 11, 2015 at 9:39 am Mandy been here a while

    Cnn is blathering about attacks on Mosques. I remember dead silence about attacks on Whites after Ferguson & Roof.

    I remember Bill Clinton getting his ass handed to him on gun control and so backing off. His harridan is doubling down on what is sure to be a losing issue. I love it.

    Like


    • Remember a few months ago when a disgruntled homosexual dindu supposedly shot a white local news reporter on live TV? Whatever happened to that story? LOL.

      Like


  49. “When the post-Diversity Wars tribunal asks about the charges against you, the prosecutor will repeat these words. ”

    It’s time to start making warnings about Nuremberg-style trials for those who actively perpetrated or served as accessory to the commission of the crime of genocide against the European people and their diaspora.

    Like


  50. on December 11, 2015 at 10:02 am Captain Obvious

    Like


  51. on December 11, 2015 at 10:04 am Captain Obvious

    ^^^^^ C!tadel [email protected] [email protected] as “Gh0sts of [email protected] Past”

    Like


  52. on December 11, 2015 at 10:43 am Dack Thrombosis

    The winner of the contest gets shot in the head, right?

    Like


  53. on December 11, 2015 at 12:25 pm gunslingergregi

    bought a chick that loves me and wants to feel needed like she wants to be able to protect me a conceal carry purse now she just needs a licence and a gun make it happen
    allthough i told her if anything happens pull out the invisible gun in there and use it he he he
    gave her gods gun

    Like


  54. What is #DOTR?

    Like


  55. TLDR in mod. This is bad slippery slope.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/262897-trump-i-will-mandate-death-penalty-for-killing-police-officers

    If and when they come to disarm us, violating our natural right to be armed to protect our families, which the 2nd Amendment simply recognized (it did not “create” the right), then killing a LEO who is trying to do that, some would say, becomes just and moral.

    Like


    • But we get what Trump means here. In a “normal” non-SHTF scenario, like we sorta have now, dindus who execute cops in cold blood as CNN et al. has tried to spur them to do (and succeeded, thereby having innocent blood on their hands), of course should get the death penalty. And Trump is talking to LEO here.

      Like


    • luckily, a liberal prez who ever got enough votes to grab guns would probably already have rescinded Trump’s death penalty executive order on his first day in office in order to protect the cop killing dindus. so it balances itself out.

      Like


  56. Cruz for VP? He’s strong on immigration and 2nd Amendment, apparently. Seems to be less cuck than the others.

    http://thehill.com/video/in-the-news/262527-cruz-refuses-to-attack-trump

    Like


  57. […] Sweeps Week: 2015 Punchable Shitlib Face Tournament: First Round Winners (heartiste.wordpress.com) […]

    Like