Alpha Assessment: The Unexpected Alpha

This reader is very proud of his text game,

I just had a text exchange I am so proud of that I couldn’t help but share it with you. Feel free to post it if you’d like, but please don’t use my name. Thanks.

Girl: Level of disappointment from a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the break up of the beatles and and 1 being the break up of the spice girls

Girl: …of me possibly rescheduling our rendezvous to next week

Me: Is this a trick question? I loved the spice girls

Girl: Nevermind.  Ill see you Thursday

How alpha is this reader’s text reply? On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being STEVE MOTHERFUCKIN MCQUEEN alpha, and 1 being Hugo Schwyzer situational alpha which fails the second he walks out of a roomful of deranged feminist coeds, I would rate his reply an 8.

An 8 means the reply is more than serviceable; it actually boosts his alpha cred a little. But what prevents the reply from reaching the exalted heights of 10dom is the springboard from which it was launched. You see, a truly alpha text message is one that careens out of nowhere, takes a girl by surprise, and instantly moistens her cortical ham for further romantic interaction. But this reader’s reply came on the heel of a very turgid message from the girl; a message so long-winded and carefully constructed that a third party reading it would come to the easy conclusion that she already harbored strong feelings for this reader.

Evidence shows the reader was operating from a position of prior alphatude, a fact which docks a couple points from the alpha score of his text reply. It was a fine reply sir, but like virtue free of the temptation of vice, alphaness is easy when it isn’t being tested by female aloofness.


  1. on August 13, 2013 at 12:03 pm Dr. Murray F. Rottencrotch

    Christ in fucking heaven–if you always feel under the gun to be absolutely as alpha as possible are you really alpha?


    • on August 13, 2013 at 12:15 pm Hugh G. Rection



    • the reason he’s so excited is because it is (understandably, to men-in-process) amazing how well this kind of response works. so no, it’s not like this email to heartiste is from brad pitt, he would just do it or do better and then eat lunch. but whatever, let the kid be excited a minute 🙂


      • on August 13, 2013 at 1:20 pm Dr. Murray F. Rottencrotch

        That’s valid. For those who are beginning “recovery” it’s good to go school for a while. And this is where people go for this stuff, so why am I complaining? On the other hand sometimes the groupieism here is a little much.


      • yeah it is often a support group feel, i get your point though. i was a little defensive because i get like that guy still.

        on a tangent, i do love how supportive guys are actually of each other in a positive way, as opposed to how competitive we’re portrayed. women don’t root for each other, almost ever. just another one of the many things it took me too long to understand under the category ‘not all women are my single mom’


    • on August 13, 2013 at 2:08 pm Great Books For Men GreatBooksForMen GBFM (TM) GB4M (TM) GR8BOOKS4MEN (TM) lzozozozozlzo (TM)

      Girl: Level of disappointment from a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the break up of the beatles and and 1 being the break up of the spice girls
      Girl: …of me possibly rescheduling our rendezvous to next week

      GBFM: if u need 2 get ur beta bucks dis week den next week is cool 4 ur alpha fucks lzlzlzoz


  2. Excellent reply! Why did it only rate an 8? What would a 10 be?


  3. on August 13, 2013 at 12:08 pm Nirvana Rules

    The actual phrase, of course, is “never mind.” Two words. Kurt Cobain combined it into one world for his famous album because he liked to fuck with people like that. The speculation in the academia who have studied Kurt is that he probably found it amusing to use a nonword as the title.


    • Nonetheless none the less used to be three words before it incorrectly correctly became one word.

      And so it goes.


  4. 4

    Kinda try-hard funny beta, but I guess it worked. Still not nearly as good as the old: ‘gay’ standby. I think expressing emotion that she’s wasting your time (in a non-butthurt way) is important. My time is valuable, and she isn’t. By just trying to be funny, it’s like you don’t value people sticking to commitments.

    In short, swings too far towards court jester and away from alpha man of value.


  5. How could he have time to type that many words?


  6. Related: girls’ and boys’ brains respond differently to humor


    • All you need to know is that all women “love to laugh.” Just go on and look at any girl’s profile if you don’t believe me.


    • Male comedians are always much better than comediennes. It doesn’t help that many comediennes are dykes — granted, it means they’re more male-like, but it also means their humor is much worse.


      • It’s because most women — and a huge amount of men, too — don’t really understand what makes something intrinsically funny. A lot of female comediannes are just snarky. No one cares if you can call out the truth, or point out an uncomfortable truth…the gift is in the wrapping.


      • Flipping through my mental list of female comediennes, I can only come up with one off the top of my head I think is funny. Not coincidentally, I think she’s pretty. Or I did before I finally googled up who the hell I was talking about. Yeesh. Thanks to Heartiste I have an aversion to the man jaw now.


      • I think a few can be pretty funny, like Sarah Silverman or Ellen Degeneres (YA SO WHAT). But I tend to enjoy comedians who tell funny jokes more than comedians who play funny characters:

        “I spilled spot remover on my dog — now he’s gone.”

        Kills me every time.


      • The funniest females are the ones who do the self-depreciating and “good-natured barb” sort of humor… in short, the ones who can laugh at themselves, like many of the guy comedians do.

        Ellen Degeneres, Rita Rudner, Paula Poundstone come to mind.


      • Exactly. You poke fun at yourself. I do this IRL and it works great. I think the more attractive the girl is, the better it works.


      • Self-deprecating humor is okay. It’s essentially “I suck.” It’s a step up from “you suck,” which is snark, but it’s a step down from “here is a fun and unique perspective.”

        “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”

        That’s just funny.

        Self-deprecation/Snark are humor-by-way of sub-communicating value. That’s why they hit or miss. If you have value, people will laugh at both your self-deprecation and snark. Otherwise, they will think you lack confidence or are possessed of spite.


      • Generally men should avoid self-deprecation and women should avoid snark. I’m never snarky to guys I’ve just met. They have to be good friends.

        I would never recommend self-deprecating humor to an unattractive girl. It only works if you have obvious high value. It works very well in longer-term flirting (vs loud club pickups) and if you do it in a funny, positive way…. the same way guys should be using snark.


      • Non high value people should just avoid them both lol. Although, if you must…my favorite type of that is the apparent snark that turns into self-deprecation.

        “That dance floor smells like someone just popped open a can of sardines….
        …..which I love. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.”


  7. on August 13, 2013 at 12:17 pm Lucky White Male

    Vox said recently to effect – At the heart of every shit test is whether You will continue to do what you want, or whether You are caving in and will do what She wants.

    The Truly Alpha response comes out of nowhere, says CH. The true Alpha is totally unhinged from whatever her context, or reality is.

    The Alpha is immersed in his own reality. This leads to responses that appear to her to come out of nowhere. To her, they ARE coming out of nowhere in that the Alpha has contemptuous regard for her context, her agenda, her reality.

    You are doing what You want, saying What you want. What a woman really wants is…..


  8. I don’t like “gay”. It’s really juvenile.

    The guy I’m seeing now is the most alpha texter I’ve ever seen. He drives me nuts. He would have responded either “Ok” or “Lol” and then disappeared from the conversation, leaving me to wonder what the he** he wants me to do.


  9. This girl sounds kind of alpha.


  10. How about——“they both suck”


  11. Ah, I appreciate the differentiation between ‘you already have this in the bag’ and ‘nice, you really moved yourself toward the goal line with that one.’

    This could be turned into a pretty good cold line, tho:

    Guy: (best to a group of girls) Level of disappointment from a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the break up of the beatles and and 1 being the break up of the spice girls from me not taking my shirt off…

    Girls: (will start to say something — probably to tease)

    Guy: TRICK QUESTION THE SPICE GIRLS WERE AWESOME. (…and if you’re feeling it) Now take your shirt off (I have to try this….girls love routines like this, where you have the funny twist, but then you also have some stupid non-sequitur reversal: i.e. I said I was taking my shirt off, but I really just want them to take their shirts off)


  12. I could be wrong, but the case could be made that the texter’s response was a bit beta because of what the girl responded with last- she assumed the sale.


  13. gay


  14. How to turn an 8 into a 10:
    Girl: Level of disappointment from a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the break up of the beatles and and 1 being the break up of the spice girls

    Girl: …of me possibly rescheduling our rendezvous to next week

    Me: Is this a trick question? I loved the spice girls

    Girl: Nevermind. Ill see you Thursday

    Me: Wear no panties and prepare to swallow.


  15. Three things that get me thinking that she is in control

    1. The one who ask the questions controls the conversation
    2. Hesitation
    3.. She is still deciding on when she is seeing the guy

    The thing is if he was super alpha prior to this; wouldn’t it be a lethal kill to even think of rescheduling because she just DOESN’T want to MISS this opportunity?

    So, if he was super Alpha in response;

    he wouldn’t text back


    he would just say ‘see you Thursday’

    basically Super Alpha is take or leave it.



    • She talks to him like he’s a kid. She isn’t showing any shyness or deference to him. He is really going to have to work to turn this dynamic around.


      • Derp. He did turn it around. Her attempted flake became a re-commitment to their plans by his alpha response.


    • 1. The one who ask the questions controls the conversation

      Not at all. Think of an alpha male. Is he asking a girl tons of questions? No. He’s reclining while she pesters him for inside info to his life.

      2. Hesitation

      She who hesitates masturbates.

      3.. She is still deciding on when she is seeing the guy

      And her decision was made when he nuked her flake test.

      Look folks, a lot of you sound like you don’t even game. Or understand the basics of male-female social dynamics. When a girl is truly “in control”, she doesn’t write novellas to a man explaining how she might… MIGHT… have to cancel. She just cancels. The chick digged him, and was looking for him to put her in her place.


      • My guess is she isn’t sure about him at this point. If she was crazy about him, she wouldn’t have cancelled, unless she had no choice. If she didn’t feel that he was a possibility, she would have just cancelled. I would say he handled this well.


      • Oh…..CH already addressed these concerns.

        Lara —

        There’s a wide gulf between ‘not into you’ and ‘crazy about you.’ If the former = 0 and the latter = 100, the level you have to be for a girl to sleep with you is probably like, 50-60. So yeah, if she was ‘crazy about him’ she would have done everything.

        However, 0% game is necessary when they are ‘crazy about you.’ Here, he’s probably at around 60…so ya, some game is still necessary, but it’s not like he’s at 20.


      • Do you even game, bro?


      • “When a girl is truly “in control”, she doesn’t write novellas to a man explaining how she might… MIGHT… have to cancel.”

        Even I caught this. Trepidation is le mot juste.


      • CH, sometimes the clarification helps.


      • Thank you for your insight. I appreciate it. Yes i’m new and still learning. Which is why I opened the comment for reply at the end by saying….right? I striving to understand your mentality which with each reply helps. So thank you. I’m not here to argue.

        “The one who controls the conversations” is taught in all sales and marketing or people persuading jobs etc. They teach that when the person thinks ITS BAD. Because domination strictly is getting the woman to do think like ,men which woman are programmed to do.

        Now based on my own experience is that gamer yes they get laid which makes them Alpha once.But, isn’t a super alpha a man who gets a women to submit? Isn’t that the REAL GAME?

        True integral alphas lead and you can’t build any organization or continue anything without the trust of the followers. Because if you pump n dump you take a point from the mens team because the next male that comes along she will find it very hard to submit. Or she turns in to a feminazi. Your thoughts?


      • * what i mean by “When the person thinks ITS BAD”. is when the sales person ask questions they get the customer to think about what the sales person is thinking about.


      • “True integral alphas lead and you can’t build any organization or continue anything without the trust of the followers. Because if you pump n dump you take a point from the mens team because the next male that comes along she will find it very hard to submit. Or she turns in to a feminazi. Your thoughts?”

        Dude, I’m not trying to build a winning basketball team or a fortune 500 company. I’m just trying to fuck a woman. THat is 100% the entire goal.

        I see a woman. I want to fuck her. I game her. I fuck her. Therefore I accomplished the goal. There is nothing else to accomplish. For a man fucking the girl is the win. This is gold medal, game over, I win. I blew my wad in her. What else is there to do? How is this so hard to understand?


    • The Strawman cometh.


    • 1. Lol wut. You control the conversation when people invest — i.e. when people start asking you questions

      2. Girls hesitate….that’s what they do.

      3. Okay, that could be for a million diff reasons. Maybe she’s just nervous. Who knows? All you can do is keep calm and smirk on.

      wtf I completely fail to understand why Super Alpha gets confused with ‘be an inflexible, nearly-butthurt dick’ so much. Just be a COOL guy.

      A COOL guy would probably text back. In a limited class of situations, he may say ‘see you Thursday’ (like, if they had a history and he knows that she likes to pull bullshit drama or whatever)….but in the majority? Nah.

      Super Alpha is not ‘take it or leave it.’

      Go out more!


      • For many commenters here, an alpha is conceived of as an apotheosis of masculinity who has transcended game and can simply command any woman he fancies to drop to her knees and suck his cock thanks to his overwhelming alpha essence. Hence all the “herp derp if you’re alpha why are you asking for advice?” and “if you’re so alpha, how come she is even thinking about flaking?” comments.

        Alphas game. Even super alphas have to put in some work to fuck hot bitches on a regular basis. And many readers here are greater betas or lesser alphas trying to take their game to the next level. So enough of this “I just tell women how it is and that’s that because I’m alpha as fuck” posturing.


      • I’m married scray… haha! my husband is learning how to game ME… Im trying to learn how to be submissive and serving to Him.


      • Glad to help. There’s a post somewhere in the archives about the level of game you need vis a vis a girl’s SMV. In general, if the girl is 2 points below you, you need 0%, if the girl is 1 point below, you need 50%, and if she’s at your level or above, you need 100%.

        It’s helpful to think of game adding points to your passive SMV. So like, when you are a 6 and you approach a 6, you’d be at 0 = not into you. You use some game, and eventually you get to the 40-50 “zone” = ‘I’d maybe sleep with you.’ This is equivalent to the 6 now thinking you’re a 7, based on your game….so you still need game to seal the deal. Once the chick is in love with you, or close to it, then you can do no wrong (barring major fuckups), and the 6 now believes you are an 8.

        Kind of a nerdy way to connect everything, but it makes sense to me.


  16. [I posted this on a girl’s FB-wall – she’s working at my local bar]

    L, my darling, should play this song at the bar, I solemnly promise you, that I’ll wear one of them raving pink ballerina-tutu-dress-thingies, and kiss your boss for you …

    She replied :

    Hahaha I’ll make sure it plays at the bar in this week, please please wear that pink tutu thingie for me, I’ll do the boss-kissing myself!! Hahaha you had me laughing lots now!!!

    I must add that she and the boss are in a rough patch now.

    Should I respond further ?

    [Somehow I don’t think it’s necessary.]


  17. Related: girls’ and boys’ brains respond differently to humor

    No girl has ever made me laugh voluntarily. Girls lack a sense of humour just as they lack a p/enis


  18. How about:

    me: Is this a trick question? tell me what you want, what you really really want.

    Maybe an additional degree too cute, but funny.

    I agree that the chick’s wordy and anxious question shows she is into him and nervous about even asking to postpone a date. So yeah, the playing field was tilted in his favor.


  19. Can somebody give me some pointers on this. My GF is smoking hot, easy 9, we have a great relationship in all aspects and 95% of the time I am very happy. The problem is that she is very jealous of other girls talking to me etc. Two recent examples:

    1) Went out with a group of her friends to play Quizzo. Before we even met up we were talking on the phone and she said “Jen is bringing her friend Liz, you’ll think Liz is hot and break up with me”. We have a great time and are walking back to her place and she keeps asking me if I think Liz is hot (she is). I agree and amplify and she ignores the joking and keeps asking and asking saying she wants a serious response. I say “yeah, she’s decent” and she flips out on me and calls me a scumbag, etc. She eventually apologized, but it annoys me when she does stuff like this.

    2) I have a female friend (Laura) who is roommates with my best friends fiance. Laura is a cool chick, a 5, not hot at all, and is treated as one of the guys. I have no romantic interest in her at all. My GF will say things like “Youre in love with Laura” and gets mad when I hug her hello or she hangs out with everyone. She says that Laura is “rude” to her. I just joined Instagram b/c my phone just got upgraded. Laura had broken her phone and joined Instagram too. I didnt find out until I got this text message from my GF

    GF: Weird that you and Laura joined Instagram on the same day…
    Me: We also got mani pedis and gossiped
    GF: K

    Any good response to this text or just ignore? Any tips overall on how to curb the jealousy?


    • how old is she?

      a bit of jealousy on the girl’s part is a good thing, and lots of hot girls are insecure. but over the top jealousy over minor shit like hugging a 5 could be a symptom of bpd.

      if you want to stick your dick in crazy, have at it, but just be aware of what you’re getting into.


      • She is 25. I actually dated a chick that was bipolar before (psycho, never again) and she fits that profile, not my current GF, not even close. She knows she has a temper and can overreact sometimes and this is the only issue we really have.


    • Your girl likes drama and your smooth-sailing relationship doesn’t provide enough of it so she creates it. If it wasn’t this, it would be something else. Play along with it and laugh it off and don’t stress her being “upset”. Drama-types love being upset and experiencing the whole rollercoaster of emotions.

      Whether its too MUCH drama for you is a personal choice, but I’ve had girls that constantly pick fights like this and I just use “agree & amplify” and tease them and then ignore them when they get mad and smooth it over next time we talk and joke about “oh no I’m in the doghouse now” etc. it’s just playful fun on my end even if she’s super dramatic serious about it. You’re the rock solid oak tree, she’s like silly little squirrel skittering about your branches.

      Plus look at the alternative: her not giving a shit about other girls because she doesn’t think you’re attractive enough that they’d want you…where do you think THAT road leads? lol

      Now if it’s too much drama for you and legit annoying, you can try using “Soft Next”s to train the behavior out of her:

      So in your situ the next time you ran into a scenario like #1 where she won’t drop it, you say “you’re being ridiculous. Goodnight babe” and walk and turn off your phone for the night. Then if she keeps going you can get into stuff like “this jealousy thing is annoying. I don’t like when you accuse me of shit you know I’m not doing.” so she knows why you’re Soft Next’ing and if she does it again, you Soft Next again, but for a longer period of time. Keep repeating this until either she stops the behavior or you’ve broken up lol

      So the alternative to laughing off her silly jealousy is upping the stakes into more of a “might end the relationship” game…it’s up to you which you feel is a better option.


      • Thanks Ya, always helpful. She does enjoy a bit of the drama and usually playfulness will nullify it, but I just can’t understand the “every girl is a threat” mode


      • Try being a shittier boyfriend. She’s using other girls to get her drama fix because there’s nothing about you that she can start drama over so she has to use them. If you had no job she could start drama about how you need to get a job. If you neglected her she could start drama about how you neglect her.

        This particular girl has a need for X amount of drama. If she was a housewife in the past, she would get that fix by watching soap operas and gossiping about the neighbors lol. She probably watches reality TV.

        Think of it kind of like someone with anger issues having a need to be violent. You don’t care what you’re hitting as long as you’re hitting something…if someone doesn’t give you a reason to hit them, you’ll FIND a reason and pick a fight to get your fix.

        Now get that guy a punching bag and he can safely vent his violent rage out on that, instead of forcing him to bottle it up and explode on the people around him.

        Your girl is currently venting her need for drama in an extremely safe and not-inconvenient way, by being jealous of other girls because she doesn’t want to lose you. That’s a helluva lot better way to vent her need for drama than alternatives like reaming you out for not making more money or cheating on your or picking fights for you with dudes over her etc.

        I would just laugh it off and treat it as “awwe she’s jealous, that’s cute, c’mere babe”. Not all girls have a big need for drama (tho the hotter ones tend to), but you’ve picked one that does. If she’s 95% awesome and it’s ultimately not that big of a hassle then fuck it lol


      • Pretty on point. YES, she LOVES reality TV. LOL. Will try not to let it get to me as much and ignore all logic when dealing with the jealousy.


      • all women love TV. most men don’t watch TV at all. we do things like learn how to play guitar instead


      • lol I figured. Granted, liking reality TV is a safe bet with most girls today, but the drama-fix ones LOVE that shit.

        One of my current girls is super high-drama. Probably the most I’ve dealt with in my life. But it’s in that same “you like her more than me I bet, you should just go fuck her, whatever, we’re done, just delete me” way. At first it was more than I’m used to (the past couple years I’ve had a string of extremely low/non-existant-drama girls, so it blindsided me), but I’ve handled it the way I describe and it works out fine.

        Plenty of our conversations go like this:

        Me: “ya, I’m going to sleep.”
        Her: “no, YaReally, I’m really upset about this!!”
        Me: “lol it’s fine babe.”
        Her: “whatever, you don’t even care”
        Me: “lol goodnight babe.”
        Her: “you’re probably fucking one of your whores”
        (5 min later)
        Her: “fine then ignore me, fuck you!”
        (30 min later, while I am fast asleep or busy working or whatever)
        Her: “whatever just so you know I’m deleting you”
        Her: (sends screenshot of my name missing in her address book lol)
        Her: “have a nice life YaReally”

        A lot of guys would read that and be like “holy fuck what a shit-show, Next that psycho” but the reality is that 1) she’s super fucking hot, heads turn everywhere she goes, guys at the bar have bowed down to her Wayne’s World style as she walks by lol, 2) aside from this little need for drama she’s pretty awesome and has some rare qualities that I like,

        and most importantly 3) I understand now that she’s just doing this because she needs drama and I’m a super low-drama chill guy so I don’t provide any drama. That was fine with the low-drama girls I was with, but this one will scrape and claw trying to pick a fight just to get her fix. So I give it to her in little doses that I don’t mind, like stopping txting her. I KNOW she’s going to barrage me with “fine then fuck you” and “have a nice life!!” drama and get herself all worked up over there, and that’s just cute/funny to me. Like a little frustrated puppy working itself up and pouting lol

        Then the next day I just txt silly shit to smooth it over and she puts up a bit of a fight and then we’re good again…that usually looks something like:

        Me (waking up to her angry txts): “o man I’m in trouble now. but I only went to sleep so I could start dreaming of you sooner babe! ❤ ❤ ❤ lol"
        Her: "whatever. who's this?"
        Me: "the creepy guy hiding in your bushes watching you shower this morning."
        Her: "NOT funny YaReally. I'm really pissed at you."
        Me: "fine then, I WON'T dream about you anymore!"
        Her: "not amused."
        Me: "that makes once of us, you should see how much I'm lol'ing over here"
        Her: "I hate you"
        Me: "You hate that you love me."
        Her: "lol no…"
        Me: "Yesss, a lol, back out of the doghouse! When's our wedding?"

        And then we're back to normal and she's back to doting on me like I'm the greatest thing she's ever seen in her life. The fast 180 from "I'm mad!!" to my diffusing the drama and her returning instantly to lovey-dovey mode is one of the things that helped me figure out what was going on under the surface with this.

        One of the guys I learned bits of this mentality from was a natural with a girl who would always get pretend-upset at him. In person would just keep agreeing & amplifying and teasing and assuming she still likes him until he'd start going "Don't smile, whatever you do, don't smile or I'll know you don't hate me" and inevitably she would crack a little smile and be like "fuck I hate you 😀 :D" and it was all good from there.

        Note that the whole time through those kind of exchanges, she's not ACTUALLY mad and doesn't ACTUALLY hate me…she's more frustrated than anything, that I won't give her the attention she wants/expects so she ups the stakes waiting for me to crack and be all "awwe babe what's wrong? I'm sorry 😦 :(" so she can get her big drama fix out of me. But I just feed her a little bit of drama (like ignoring her txts) and diffuse that bomb in a safe location like giving the angry guy a punching bag, and keep my cool the entire time and look at it as just silly girly shit.

        Also note that the whole time I'M not riled up. I legit just think it's cute now. It doesn't phase me at all, and at no point am I worried that she'd actually ditch me for something that dumb, because I know I'm attractive to her.

        And finally note that this is no trouble to me at all. This goes back to the idea that a lot of guys would get any kind of hassle from a girl and be like "this is too much work, NEXT!!!!" but I don't care at all. It's not work or hassle to me to deal with this, it's just natural flirting. A few txts out of my day, a funny little exchange, and it's back to normal. No other guy she's met can handle her this way, so I don't have to worry about her banging other guys because all of them would fail at these exchanges and get sucked into her drama and obliterate themselves. Part of what she loves is that I consider myself high enough value to say "lol I have to work babe, have a good day" and stop replying when she's trying to get my attention.

        Anyway, have fun with it. It tends to be part & parcel with being with a super hot girl…in terms of WHY they love drama, a shitty low-value girl has plenty of drama: she can't pay her rent, her boyfriend is shitty, she has daddy issues, she doesn't live the life she wants, she can't afford to go out with her friends, her friends talk shit about her and fight with her, etc. etc.

        Now take a 10? Where's the drama in her life? Everything she does, no matter how bad or shitty it is, is PERFECT, to everyone around her. She could create a baby-grinding factory and every guy around her would go "what an entrepreneur, there really WERE too many babies around, I'm glad someone's doing something about it!" Even her best friends will let her treat them like shit and tell her it's okay, because she's beautiful and the world is at her feet. Can't pay her rent? That's cool, 10 rich dudes at the bar will offer to do it for her. Want a new job? Don't even have to wear a push-up bra and that job is yours if the interviewer is male. Every boyfriend she's ever had has been terrified to make her feel bad in any way so they just nod and agree with her about everything.

        So how does she get her drama fix? Reality TV and picking silly little fights like this with her guy, and being relieved that her guy is alpha enough to handle those little fights and not be scared off or supplicate to her. He's basically handing her a punching bag and going "lol go ahead babe, let it all out, it's cool." and she loves him even more for subconsciously understanding.

        Hope that helps put it in perspective. Again you can try Soft Nexts to weed the behavior out, but really it's not that big a deal and not something I would Soft Next over, personally. I actually look at it as good training for solidifying my own frame and generally thickening up my solid oak tree mentality of being unable to be shaken by this stuff. If I can handle a tiger like this like it's no big deal, a kitten doesn't stand a chance lol


      • @Yareally, get off your ass and write a book about this shit already. You are too good not to have your game in print.


    • I used to act like this a lot. It’s sh*t testing mixed with genuine insecurity. I’ll tell you what worked on me. Get angry.Tell her you’re not doing anything wrong and she needs to cut the crap. Tell her you obviously think she’s hot, she’s your girlfriend. Tell her to learn to control her insecurity bs because you’re not putting up with it anymore.

      I think it’s important to throw in the reminder that she’s hot, but stay pissed off about being indirectly accused of something you’re not doing (flirting). She’ll cry but she really needs you to lay it down that she’s being ridiculous. And if she does it again, cut her off and completely ignore her for a while.

      The LAST thing you want to do is placate her, soothe her, etc. Avoid this at all costs, even after you yell at her.


      • lol ya, I’ve started fights with mine a few times. I have a post in mod describing more in detail about the girl and our interactions, but basically it’s like being a lion…you don’t give a fuck 90% of the time when the jackals nip at you and shit…but every once in a while you get up and tear the fuck out of everything so they know who’s boss.

        So I’ll let her start a little drama in a safe way and just amuse myself with it. But now and then I’ll get “angry” with her and bitch her out and scold her and ignore her for a couple days. I’m never actually worked up, I just know that she needs that now and then. I learned this from a high-drama Natural buddy of mine who loooooves bitching his girls out lol. It’s not really my thing, I tend to go for low-drama girls, but right now I’m seeing a high-drama one and I’m playing around with this. She loves every second of it.


      • Right, even if she cries. Lol, crying is the ultimate double down in sh*t testing. If you can stay angry/annoyed through the crying *and* still walk away, you’ve aced it.


      • It’s really similar to a child. Ya, your kid might cry that you won’t let her eat cookies for supper, but that doesn’t mean you give her fucking cookies for supper. It’s fine if she cries, girls love crying, that’s why they watch Twilight and shit and get all into it and emotional. It’s a GOOD thing for her to cry now and then, as long as it’s in a safe consequence-free scenario like this (vs just being an abusive asshole lol).

        Think of it like taking your dog for a run around the block lol. If you don’t, he’ll have too much pent up energy and be annoying in the house. Take him to the park on a nice safe leash and run around with him for a bit and let him get it out and you’ll have a nice happy dog. Being terrified to let your girl cry when she needs drama is like being terrified to let your dog be tired or sweat when you take him for a run.


      • Relevant new video from RSD on giving girls a full range of emotions, even bad ones, and how that’s not a bad thing:


    • She’s psycho? About 21 to 23 years old? She will cause you much pain eventually, but you will never forget her.


    • It will be easier when you come to the realization that she’s doing it because she’s emotionally invested in you.

      Great comments from YaReally… thanks dude.


  20. Girl: Level of disappointment from a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the break up of the beatles and and 1 being the break up of the spice girls

    Girl: …of me possibly rescheduling our rendezvous to next week

    Me: Whatever.


    • Alternative: Oh no, by all means reschedule.

      Then at the time of the original date, send her a text: “Having a great time. Sorry you couldn’t make it.”

      And if she texts back, DO NOT respond.


  21. Just the obligatory reminder for the “gay” crowd:

    Good game is about what progresses things forward to sex, not what would sound cool to tell your buddies. “I just txted her back “gay” like a boss” “awesome so did you bang her?” “well she didn’t respond…” “I’d just txt “whatever”, totally own that bitch with my alphaness!!”

    Dude’s txt passed her shit-test and she kept the original date instead of flaking. The only thing he could’ve done better is sent a txt that got her to come over and suck his dick literally right then and there. Dude SHOULD be proud of how he handled it. She asked a “here are your possible answers” question and he shit all over answering her.

    And as usual: the “gay” stuff only works once you have high-value to her. And it’s not fun, which is a part a lot of guys miss out on in seduction, being and having fun. The 18yo hottie with 10 dudes txting her all day generally isn’t going to give a shit if a 30yo dude she hasn’t fucked txts back “gay”. The 35yo near-the-wall woman with limited options? Sure, SHE will…but there’s nothing alpha about not being fun lol


    • As always, an answer like a boss.


    • The way “gay” was originally used on here was funny. I think they were already in a relationship together. I agree it is being overused and misused.


    • Alpha for several reasons, including:
      Took it out of her frame. He did NOT provide a logical answer, did not take her question seriously.

      Kept it amusing. It is amusing because who is going to imagine a straight, alpha male claiming that they loved the Spice Girls?

      Never directly answered her question. At all. Just gave some hamster fuel.

      So, a 4 winning element combo in 1 reply:
      Kept his frame intact, and didn’t swerve into logical beta territory.
      Kept it funny.
      Blew off the shit test portion of it.
      Kept it short (shorter than her by a significant margin).


    • on August 13, 2013 at 4:13 pm haunted trilobite

      are you crazy ? women love ‘gay’. it’s romantic. Paris. join the dots


  22. I’d have texted back like this:

    Girl: Level of disappointment from a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the break up of the beatles and and 1 being the break up of the spice girls

    Girl: …of me possibly rescheduling our rendezvous to next week

    Me: Is this a trick question? I loved the spice girls

    Girl: Nevermind. Ill see you Thursday

    Me: Nirvana kicked both of their asses

    Or if you really wanted her to freak:

    Me: C U Next Thursday


  23. Me: “I’m thinking more like Backstreet Boys”

    Her: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “I’ll let you be the judge of that”


  24. Girl: Level of disappointment from a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the break up of the beatles and and 1 being the break up of the spice girls

    Girl: …of me possibly rescheduling our rendezvous to next week

    Me: Zero


    • This, like a nuclear neg, is a good option if she’s a bitchy 9 or 10; otherwise she’ll be genuinely insulted. It also requires the man to have previously established sufficient alpha cred, lest his bullshit be transparent.


      • Someone,

        Yes, the one thing I see here is a overlapping of “game” and “Alpha”. If Alpha is a man with options, then clearly with all do respect to other commentators, responding by just flipping the scale isn’t alpha, its game. A man with options doesn’t care if she asks to flake, he NEXTS that situation, if she comes back… she comes back……

        Its clear this txt exchange is a shit test and not a real question, or good reason to “dissappoint”. If you know her and have established a relationship this wouldn’t be a good response. But if its the second date or so…. I got other things to do, in my world, how do you benefit it ? If you are going to be this way, flaky seriously I am not disappointed, I am moving on.


  25. I don’t really text a lot but every now and then I get a random “why do you have to be so perfect” message from girls I’ve already hooked up with. Now that’s the kind of question you want to be receiving.


  26. The Beatles? Wasn’t that McCartney’s group before Wings?


  27. You guys think a girl only needs a 50-60 IL to sleep with a guy? I figured it was at least 70ish…


    • If you’re talking about my post above, then ya. If 0 = just completely not into you.

      When a girl is at 100 = “crazy into you,” like….you can do no wrong. 50-60 is ‘ya I’m pretty into this guy…’


  28. “… a very turgid message from the girl; a message so long-winded and carefully constructed that a third party reading it would come to the easy conclusion that she already harbored strong feelings for this reader.

    I agree. Like how a stripper or prostitute or gold-digging whore would talk.

    Not that I have much experience with any of those mind you.


  29. Well, who doesn’t love the Spice Girls.


  30. on August 13, 2013 at 4:06 pm Imperial Leather

    Is this what they text one another in the retirement village


  31. It has now been almost five days since Hugo Schwyzer went into a bipolar tailspin, and still no commentary from CH. What gives?


  32. Assuming no (or insufficient) prior alphatude, how would this fly?

    Girl: “…possibly rescheduling our rendezvous to next week”

    Guy: “busy. try next next week”


    • Why does she give a shit?

      If you were high value, then she says ‘oh I don’t want to wait that long!’

      But you said assume insufficient prior alphatude.


      Guy: Suicide, because that’s what I tried when the Spice Girls broke up. You bitch 😀

      Guy: That actually might work, my other girl’s been on the back burner for too long 😉

      Guy: The word rendezvous means “cat” in French. Now you know.
      —> this is ‘buy time to build value to change her mood and eventually her mind’ —-> stating a ridiculous ‘fact’ that she should know not to be true, she calls you on it, you sub in some witty fun banter, and before you know it…BAM…Thursday it is. If she doesn’t call you on it, then pull back.

      If you want less har-har:
      Guy: Neutral — just tell me before X time because I my friends want me to do (awesome activity) Y that day, too


    • If there’s little prior attraction on her part, why is she going to work hard to reschedule? If she’s not sufficiently interested, you need to nuke her flake test to generate interest. “What about sometime in April 2015?” isn’t going to work when she doesn’t care.

      On the other hand, if there was substantial attraction and she’s just playing games or has a compelling reason to reschedule (e.g. her friend just got last minute tickets to see her favorite band), you could try making things difficult for her. Even if that were the case, however, I wouldn’t use your response. Just saying you’re “busy” sounds suspiciously try-hard, and telling her to “try” the following week is completely retarded. Also, you’re immediately accepting her flake when she has implied it’s tentative.

      If the level of attraction was sufficient, I might reply with “I’m traveling next week.” This credibly rules out her hypothetical alternative plans and serves as a minor DHV. Ideally, she then commits to the original plans.


  33. What about “EY YO, WANT SUM FUK?”


  34. I have some well formed opinions about the subject of “alpha” females. But first; realize that MY definition of Alpha-Female (does NOT refer to any kind of queen-bee status – whore ascendancy within a defined status heirarhcy. The truth is more dignified.
    Real Alpha 10s are as a miracle sent from God, The are generally aware of their fate from around the age their tits formation starts to get going. Everything else about her has so far come up perfect and now she gets to watch symmetrical D cups proudly take their place on the trampoline of lust.
    All men now want her. She knows this, but it does not disturb.
    If she is smart, ie, truly alpha, she will fight like a Cornered Spainard to keep her good looks active. Because if she can keep most of what she was given, while avoiding bitchy-ness induced mental damage and any trace of fat acceptance.damage., her sexual value will be strong enough, long enough to allow her to successfully attract and fuck 90 % the interesting men(or women) she will ever came accross.

    We never got pregnant. Partly because of her incredibility unlimited concepts of what “sex” could be and partly because of my (secret) vasectomy done years ago.


  35. First thing I thought was “I love the spice girls” = I would be crushed if you rescheduled.

    Anyway, this reply is “alpha” more because of the girl’s response rather than the quality of the guy’s line. If the girl had responded “Okay, so how about next Thursday then?” I bet the guy’s reply wouldn’t be advertized as “alpha.”


  36. on August 13, 2013 at 11:21 pm The Spirit Within

    better reply:

    You: “tell me whatcha want, whatcha really really want”


  37. One of the best things that I ever did to improve my texting was to delete all question marks, as the interrogative mood is indicative of the classic beta frame(even when used as a rhetorical device; your texts should be the written equivalent of the terse statements of a pilot wrestling with the controls of a wounded aircraft) It is at its core a submissive posture; someone else has information(power) and you implore them to share that power with you.

    “Is this a trick question? I loved the spice girls”
    “Trick question. I loved the spice girls”

    The second is more powerful. The Alpha ALWAYS knows, even when he doesn’t.


  38. […] The Gamer’s tactics ‘The void’ […]


  39. This works on so many levels:

    1) non-needy, ie: not disappointed
    2) reframe, and it’s funny
    3) aloof amused mastery


  40. on August 14, 2013 at 10:21 am Hugh G. Rection

    I smell a rat. Correct spelling, reference to the Beatles no less, using the word “rendezvous”… Where did he find this specimen?

    [CH: The refs are dated, but plenty of “smart” young chicks dig old music, and dropping these refs is a way of making them seem more musically sophisticated.]


    • It’s also a very girly kind of comparison, since it’s so subjective. True, the vast majority of people would consider the Beatles “better” than the Spice Girls, but it’s still heavily subjective. Most guys would come up with something decidedly more objective (well, within reason: making comparisons fun involves introducing a little bit of subjectivity, but guys can control it). Eg, 1 to 10 how much did it hurt? 1 is an ant bite; 10 is your hand caught in a meat grinder. That’s a lot less subjective.


  41. on August 14, 2013 at 11:22 am The Modest Mandingo

    First time poster, need some help with a legit 9. Background: I met this girl like a year and half ago (should’ve laid her that night, my game was super tight that night but too drunk to realize how I could get guy orbiter friends to leave, and they were also her ride, but figure a way to give her a ride home in the morning) and have sporadically kept contact with her since then. Problem with meeting up is that she lives an hour away, I don’t have a car, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t either (although has access to one). Anyways, this past January or whatever I join instagram and she immediately starts following me, and likes one of my pictures. A week later, I comment on a pic of her and her friend, and go “pretty’re the type of girl Id prolly hold my farts in for ;)”. She texts me the next day to go out with her and some friends for her bday. I tell her I can’t. Fast forward to two weeks ago, she texts asking me if I still live in [city where I met her] and that we should meet up that night. I don’t live there anymore and just text back that I’m in [city half hour away] out with some friends. We agree to go out sometime. Text exchange monday:

    me: hey u like cute boys booze and rowdy bars!?!!? (for anyone under 25 gaming college aged girls, this line is money)

    her: (20 secs later): of course!

    me: k if u think ur rdy for this jelly come to [city] wednesday

    her: (like 30 minutes later) what bar maybe [city] is pretty far

    me: (45 minutes later) a bunch..pregame at my buddys apartment downtown first tho then out (this is where i feel i messed up)

    her: (10 minutes later) k ill let you know

    it’s now wednesday and have heard nothing. So what’s my move from here? Please, none of that “gay” shit.

    I’d actually wouldn’t even care if she didn’t text me anything today since I’ve got other girls to hit up, but I’d just love to bang this girl’s brains out. Usually I can calibrate my responses pretty well with girls, but since I’ve only hung out with her once over a year ago, sometimes I just feel a little off.


  42. Get a car.


  43. on August 14, 2013 at 8:15 pm gunslingergregi

    me whats up
    chick not much raining
    me thinking of driving up there
    chick sounds good when
    me after I get dressed
    chick okay sounds good

    went just met in person talked for ten minutes told her she could come over here she leaned on me I opened my belt and she blew me
    he he he


  44. on August 14, 2013 at 9:06 pm gunslingergregi

    so she says lets go bedroom it would be more comfortable
    she strips down I let her finish
    we go back to living room to build comfort he he he
    go back to bedroom
    chill out she jumps my cock
    rides me
    I tell her blow me again she does
    she invited me to stay night
    I do
    she tells me it can be like this every day
    I know
    before I leave
    asks me how many other chicks do I have lined up to see
    he he he


  45. on August 14, 2013 at 9:16 pm gunslingergregi

    don’t know on this one

    chick so whats ur interest in me
    me would like to have fun
    me I don’t know you we haven’t gone out
    chick what kind of fun
    (prob should of said bring the movies lol)
    me go do something hang out
    chick yes sir
    (now wtf is up with chicks calling me sir anyway or saying yes sir)
    me when can ya go
    chick I would have to check my schedule
    me yea let me know
    chick I will


  46. on August 14, 2013 at 9:21 pm gunslingergregi

    me send me tit pic
    chick ha lol
    me when we hanging out on the second coming already got two chicks married to in the afterlife
    chick what lol
    me promised two woman id marry em in the next life which prob where I will catch a glimpse of you
    chick lol y the next
    me cause not this one he he he

    ok this chick I just like talkin shit too
    met her once she a waitress she served me and shit I didn’t have to buy nothing for the date and she sat at my table and shit and we hung out but she is being a bitch about giving up the ass he he he


  47. on August 14, 2013 at 9:26 pm gunslingergregi

    previours convo same chick
    me allright what time you work till
    chick depends on business could be 6 could be 10
    me allright
    chick I start at noon
    me ill sleeping past that he he he
    chick ?? ok
    me prob be there around 3 or so
    chick kk

    I showed at 5
    maybe she gets fuckin points for getting guys to eat there lol
    this same bitch that wanted 300 bucks to come see me
    still workin on free ass
    she just a wanna be ho lol


  48. on August 14, 2013 at 9:29 pm gunslingergregi

    at table she showed me sunburn from tanning bed lol
    teasing me wtf


  49. The original guy sounded pretty good to me. Or another approach:

    “Girl: …of me possibly rescheduling our rendezvous to next week”

    “come over and we’ll discuss it”

    If the mood strikes you, follow up: “coat and heels only”