Halloween Costume Ideas

MattW had a great Halloween costume idea.

Best halloween costume idea:

Put on a black beard and a turban, and some bomb-like electronics around your middle under a vest or zip-up hoody, then show people and tell them you invented a clock.

😆 Nice. It’d be really funny if you wrote the word “CLOCK” in black Sharpie on a bundle of dynamite.

I was set to write that Trump costumes would be all the rage this year (the more daring readers can sport a spiffy “Make America White Again” hat to keep that blond bouffant under control), but Matt’s costume suggestion is better. Wear it, and see how many SWPLs and SJWs smile wanly, then look confused, then slowly turn apoplectic with sputtering indignation as they realize you are making fun of one of their icons.

PS For the scalzied dads with daughters who can bench more than they can, a website that sells grrlpower Halloween costumes. Yes, you can dress your little tyke up like Ruth “Baby” Ginsburg, or Lena Dunham (sexual molestation not included).





Comments


  1. I was going to dress like a careerist spinster and give out beanie baby kittens.

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  2. Went to a Halloween party at a club last night. Good looking women everywhere, all dressed in skimpy outfits. Seriously, nothing below a seven. Here’s the unfortunate part: I was with my ‘girlfriend.’ As we were standing in line, she, too, noticed all the good looking women. Two girls standing to the right of us had their asses hanging out, and as I turned my head in that direction, she grabbed my arm and said, “You better not look over there” in a nasty little voice. I turned around and bitched her out. By the time, my night was ruined. She was way too insecure, and wanted to keep me away from any potential competitors. She was miserable, and wanted to make me miserable. What’s the real kicker of this story? As we were inside the club standing around, she began pointing to this one fellow, dressed in some hillbilly costume and dancing with a few good looking girls. Had I said such a thing about a girl, she would have exploded. She continued making comments about him and the only thing I could think about is….

    *****HYPERGAMY******

    She wanted my balls in a clamp, while maintaining her ability to search the field. Needless to say, I broke up with her this morning. It’s a good Friday already.

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    • Time to dump her.

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    • I love this shit. Beautiful. Enjoy your Halloween weekend. There’s more parties on the way.

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    • Dude, wtf? Women are players that recognize players and nutn else. You had the power and she instinctively responded to it. You could have made an ultimatum, veiled at first probably. “Do you think they’d be better for my sex life?” Or not. “If you aren’t the best trick and treat…my time (and 8====>) is valuable.” Getting rid of the blue pill conditioning is an ongoing thing. The birds squawk most when you are closest to the nest. That’s a good thing if you have not trained properly or developed a shock-and-awe SMV. Be colder. Be cool. Be emotionally detached unless it ‘pleases’ you. Create a bidding war, high buying temp, easy layup. Bitchez have guys fight each other literally. There are no morals in play if liberated wmn are involved. If she got upset and left and you DGAF, higher SMV for you. If she hangs on you and gives it good, higher SMV for you. Either way, that takes you closer to the bang on the ass-out gurls. It is hard to think that way, but well worth the work. Me thinks you still care about the uncareable. Broke up? That is a cultural construct. Gf means something else to wild alpha. Property rights have been abolished. You don’t own her. Why can she own you? You had options and passed on honor that women regard as gene and sperm weakness. Keep going. Push your emotions aside and own them more. It’s not the spoon that bends. If you bend your mind straight for the reality, you can bent her mind over. I want to hear about some crazy shit that women did for or because of you. As a keyboard warrior, I would be inspired.

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      • …trained her properly…

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      • My interpretation of the situation was partially correct–a red pill interpretation with a blue pill response. My response was wrong. You’re correct, and I’m glad you’ve laid out a productive response.

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      • @JC, I’m glad you responded intelligently and kindly. I see that you get it, and have philosophical value and values. Plus it’s nice to be appreciated. And there is strength in numbers. It is bad and good that I can’t help those who lack thoughtful cooperative value. We are in a war not like war. Best of luck. I think you will successfully adapt if you want to, as a lifestyle. Takes years to see solid improvements, but solid improvements in getting beat down less is not winning. Just love being the response to the challenge and you will grow that way. I am still a work in progress.

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    • on October 30, 2015 at 5:27 pm Captain Tautological

      > “Needless to say, I broke up with her this morning.” ——— My God, that was a depressing story, right up until the Happy Ending. Whew. Praise be unto The Lord. Hallelujah!

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    • Why wait to break up? Should have dumped/left her at the party.

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      • She was already making a scene. Didn’t want to make it anymore embarrassing.

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      • on October 31, 2015 at 11:33 am Captain Tautological

        BC, there’s always a more perfect way to do something. What matters here is the reality and the Truth and the bottom line: Awakening of Alpha.

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      • Although not directly related, this reminds me of the time I had a girl meet me at Denny’s for breakfast, where I broke up with her. She was crying, and I was enjoying my Grand Slam. Hope St. Peter wasn’t watching that one. Sometimes, breakfast just tastes better with a side of freedom.

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    • on October 30, 2015 at 10:13 pm Facepalm to the Max

      She was testing you and you failed.

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    • Similar happened to me once. I took her home, explaining that neither of us were having a good time. Then I went out by myself.

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    • I was at a Halloween party last night in the exact same situation. I’m a silly, naturally social guy an I tend to interact with anyone and everyone, but my gf notices the cute girls in particular.

      Hated it. And yet, when you show up single to a party, you get far fewer IOIs from other single girls via preselection. Unfortunate paradox

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      • Quite so, friend. I’ve always been told you need women to get women. If you show up somewhere woman-less, you will have a more difficult time getting women. If you show up with a woman, though, others girls come easier. Even the other weekend. Before I broke up with my girlfriend, I had numerous girls approaching me, and I reasonably assume that was due to the fact that I was with my girlfriend.

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  3. “CLOCK” but with a backwards ‘k’ so it’s all cute and shit. Kill ’em with kindness.

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  4. Thought about an opener just now thinking about this. Will try it out. Walk down the typical business district street today and see cute girl.

    Say, “Let me guess, you’re dressed as a cute office worker today.”

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    • Also …

      See a girl dressed as a cat. “Nice costume. I love dogs.”
      See a girl dressed as wonder woman. “Nice costume. You can totally see my balls right now though right?”
      See a girl dressed as a witch. “Nice costume. So you’re my ex girlfriend then!”
      See a girl dressed as Snow White. “Nice costume. Which of the dwarfs had the biggest dick?”

      Can’t wait for tonight and see now many more I can try.

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      • on October 31, 2015 at 2:18 pm Ricardo Rocco

        Id say your coming off as too try hard and sexual with those. I don’t see any of those working with an 8 or above. A better opener would be…

        ( girl dressed as Snow White walks by)

        You – “nice costume, you should’ve used more make up”

        That will send the hamster into 6th gear overdrive.

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    • on October 30, 2015 at 5:50 pm mendozatorres

      Love it.

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  5. on October 30, 2015 at 11:02 am Mitch Cumstein

    I have a college acquaintance on Facebook, since deleted, who said, “I’m a teacher…I only wish my kids were as passionate about things as this kid is about making clocks.” Jesus wept.

    When all is said and done, that Ahmed kid was away from home for a few hours. Real victim he is. Real Muslims are killing other Muslims and are true victims. Where the fuck are the liberals on that?

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  6. on October 30, 2015 at 11:15 am Laguna Beach Fogey

    I’ve seen 3 DT costumes today so far.

    Liked by 1 person


  7. Screw just Halloween, I’m wearing my Make America Great Again Hat year round.

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  8. From the amount of play the guys getting I would dress up like the guy that shot up the theater in Colorado. get you some florescent hair crazy eyes and glock and party hard.

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  9. Bruce/Caitlyn is a pretty easy, cheap shitlord costume. Red/blue tank and runners shorts, fake gold medal, wig, and the runner’s paper safety pinned to your shirt that says Caitlyn. You can tell girls that theyre transphobic if they wont sleep with you, and butthurt leftoids that you identify as a woman and you’re championing trans awareness.

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    • They’ve been selling them at Halloween stores. Along with Bruce-Jenner-As Olympian outfits (complete with lipstick). It was my second choice.

      Tranny no-rape!

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  10. The white race is the Supreme race no doubt but jeez we have turned into faggots (literally) allowing our women to turn into manginas, allowing our nations to be over run by third worlders, allowing Eskimos to control us. We deserve what we get.

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  11. Put a chair on my head.
    “What are you?”
    “A piece of gum.”

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  12. I went as Trump to a party (did anyone not see that coming?). Full on acted the part, complete with over-the-top cockiness.Got the hair perfect.

    The response was breathtaking. 1/2 of the people (men and women) thought it was awesome, hilarious, kept asking me to do catchphrases. Got a few IOIs from the ladies. No surprise there.

    But the other 1/2 were actually UPSET by it. A massive rabbit trigger. I had at least 2 people leave the room because they literally said, “I can’t even” when I started on my Trump talking points/over-the-topness. One chick actually tried to legitimately ARGUE with me as if I WERE Trump, and the token kneegro at the shindig (he’s a halfsie—other half Eskimo—man who saw THAT coming? Amirite?), well, he kept going back and forth between “Trump is a racist asshole” and then “Trump’s the only man who acts like a man”; dude literally was caught between his racial whining and his love for the strong man.

    I may go out again this weekend as Trump. Look for me to kick a girl out of bed with “You’re FIRED.”

    Trump rape!

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    • You can always do a flashback to Bush too…

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    • p.s. what legitimately started to worry me was how the lefties were having massive trouble distinguishing fiction (me-as-Trump) from reality (actual Trump). But I chalked it up to the rabbit mentality, and that this was how they could vote for leftism/Obama—they literally could not distinguish truth from lies.

      Reality rape!

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      • on October 30, 2015 at 5:41 pm Captain Tautological

        WhoreFinder, that point is far too profound to be dismissed with a mere “PS” – what you’re talking about could very well become a major new dominant theme chez Le Chateau and in the greater Dark Enlightenment. The fact that the half-Eskimo Nog was having h0m0 feelings for your Trump impersonation is a very interesting little data point [was the Eskimo its father or mother?], but The Left now having difficulty in distinguishing between fantasy and reality is the sort of insanity which leads to an October 1917. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/October_Revolution

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      • on October 30, 2015 at 8:00 pm The Spirit Within

        having difficulty in distinguishing between fantasy and reality is the sort of insanity

        …that you’ve been upchucking in these comments.

        Double the meds, “Captain”. The Eskimos want to help you.

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      • lol. looks like I hurt sweetheart jason’s wittle feelings.

        poor little closet-case.

        Faggot Within rape!

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      • @Captain:

        Unknown if the father or mother was the Eskimo.

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      • on October 31, 2015 at 10:22 am Robert the Wise

        whorefinder

        “p.s. what legitimately started to worry me was how the lefties were having massive trouble distinguishing fiction (me-as-Trump) from reality (actual Trump). But I chalked it up to the rabbit mentality, and that this was how they could vote for leftism/Obama—they literally could not distinguish truth from lies.”

        “Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.”
        ― George Orwell, 1984

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      • on October 31, 2015 at 11:41 am Captain Tautological

        RtW – excellent quote. Orwell documented so much of this, even if the Eskimo Hypnotist Lev Davidovich “Leon Trotsky” Bronshtein still dominated all of Orwell’s sympathies. Orwell was a traitor, but at least he left a written record of it all.

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  13. on October 30, 2015 at 1:09 pm Johnnie Walker

    To do list:

    Find a Vladimir Putin mask by tomorrow.

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  14. My choices are between a Flasher in a trench coat with big fake dick and balls or provide your own if dare…Drunk Preacher with bible if you can mock street preach tell people they are going to hell but offend them at the same time make them laugh. Damn whores sodomites and whomever else to hell. Cast out demons. ..Funniest one ever was some big jacked dude dressed up like tooth fairy in pink with magic wand. Punched the biggest dude he could find in his mouth and stole his tooth. Ran away. Got arrested for a&b.

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  15. This might be a bit over the top. Wear a fat suit with a doll or a hand puppet on your hand. Lena Dunham costume.

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  16. on October 30, 2015 at 3:49 pm Johnnie Walker

    To do list:

    Find Vladimir Putin mask by tomorrow night.

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  17. I’m going as Police Brutality this year. I walk around with an Obama mask, tell random people to put it on, then chase them around the party with my baton for being too black while my friend films it on his phone.

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  18. on October 30, 2015 at 5:49 pm mendozatorres

    Just got out of work about 40 minutes ago. As I left, I see a mom with a camera, trying to get it ready for her child, who is dressed as a witch. Not much at first, then I see that the kid is a male child and the kid is dressed in a witches hat and is holding a broom…between his legs. Mom calls out, “Come on, Sawyer!”

    CH, maybe too late, but great to have a post about all the pathetic costumes we all see/saw/were seen. I wish I would have taken a photo but me taking a photo of a kid….yeah a good look.

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  19. “She was way too insecure, and wanted to keep me away from any potential competitors.”

    At a Halloween party in my early twenties, there were two girls dressed in a (Playboy-type) bunny outfit. One was a porky 6 (if a “curvy” girl can indeed even be a 6), the other was a 19 year-old long-haired brunette 9, angel face, no apparent attitude, and a flawless slender bod. The 6 said nothing but was visibly fuming at her luck as all the guys’ eyes were popping out of their heads over the 9.

    Will never forget that girl, was as tongue-tied as all the other guys. She was unescorted and known to be available, but no one even tried to number-close her.

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    • on November 1, 2015 at 3:43 am Captain Tautological

      My best guess is that if you had attempted to approach HB9, then the All-Pro Left Tackle for the New England Patriots, wearing jersey HB6, Miss Porky herself, would have cut you off with a classic C0ck-Blocking. Which might be why none of the other dudes were approaching HB9 either – fear of that All-Pro Left Tackle defending her Super Bowl MVP Quarterback-ette.

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  20. I am going as Ghost of a Victim of the Dresden Incineration at the hands of Commies/Allies/wanna be SJWers with a sign saying we Fought on the Wrong Side

    Have Ghoully Hallows ween or Samhain if your a Celt

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  21. Beldar is my go-to costume… chicks dig the cone.

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  22. I’m a firefighter and my bıtch is a dalmatian.

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  23. Turns Out the Little Muslim Boy Didn’t Invent a Digital Clock, Just Transferred it to Pencil case.
    http://conservativebyte.com/?p=79416

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  24. I just had a good costume idea from what I say in the grocery store this evening: A middle aged liberal couple (a tall, thin hippy man and a fat fugly woman) with their down-syndrome 4-5 year-old daughter. The older age of the woman, combined with whatever drugs she has taken over the past 25 years, plus years of birth control = messed up babies. Having a downy baby – now THAT is more scary than Freddy Kruger.

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  25. Noticed in the above pic how Brady’s youth and good looks make his companion look washed-up. If she was with an older gray-hair she would be dazzling.

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  26. on November 2, 2015 at 3:31 am gunslingergregi

    i went as a white dude freaked a lot of people the fuck out

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    • on November 2, 2015 at 3:37 am gunslingergregi

      i kept saying where are the white people got told america is a melting pot
      rofl
      another white dude asked me if i was lost rofl
      said yea i seem to be the only white dude here not in a uniform
      jobs available for white men in ultradiverse conditions
      security guard
      police officer
      military enlistee

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  27. On Saturday morning I went to a grocery store I Cincinnati (Jungle Jim’s) where the entire staff was in costume. By far the best outfit was the middle aged guy in a Richard Simmons outfit. I talked to him and he smiled and said he has had it for years. Kind of like a peacock at parties. And quite popular with the ladies by all indications.

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